All language subtitles for Ten.Year.Old.Tom.S01E10.First.Responder.1080p.HMAX.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- Tom, take this the right way,

but I'ma put some feelers out
for a new lab partner.

- Why, you're not happy
with the volcano?

- No,
it look like a pile of manure!

It don't even erupt.
- You know what?

I grabbed some
extra stuff from home.

Let's see if this works.

- What you got? What you got?

- We got blackberry brandy,
windshield washer fluid,

and mountain breeze
air freshener.

- Okay.
- That's gotta burn, right?

- We can work with this.
- Right?

- Put these on.
- Nice.

- I'll stand
at a safe distance.

You start dumping things
until it explodes.

- Why am I doing all the work
on this team?

I built the volcano.
- Tom, we've been over this.

I'm the scientist.
You're the unskilled laborer.

Now start dumping.
- Okay, step back.

Let me show you
how science works.

A couple fluid ounces of this.

Brandy.

That's weird.
It's not erupting.

- Here, here.
Let's do this the Nelson way.

Oh. Whoa.
- Oh, no! Oh, no, flames!

Oh, no, what's happening?
Oh, no!

Everybody run!
Run for your lives!

We're all gonna die!

- Is nobody gonna put out
the stupid volcano thing--

Okay. I guess I'll do it.

- Hey, hey, kids.

Your principal called me in
to talk about fire safety.

Now, I know I'm not supposed
to curse in front of you,

but who knows what a pussy is?

- Um, a person like Tom?
- What?

- Exactly. Come here, buddy.
This little guy right here.

- Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- He saw the flames.

- Oh, no--
- And he ran.

- You got it all wrong.

I ran to get
the fire extinguisher.

I'm a hero.
- You fled the scene.

- I fled out of bravery
to save everyone.

I fled to save.

- You think that's
what Superman does?

You think Superman flies away
for a bit

and then comes back to save?

- I'm sure he does
all kind of things.

- Horrible person. Look at him.

Yasmine here, she ran
to the flames and saved lives.

Hero.

- Guys, come on, we--

all right,
tell the dog to relax.

She literally poured
iced tea on a volcano.

- Excuse me?

- I'm just saying,
hero might be a strong word.

I mean, let's--
- Where I come from,

we have respect
for first responders.

- I don't know if I'd call her
a first responder. She's--

- Now you're
being disrespectful.

You gotta leave the truck area.

- She took two steps.

I don't wanna leave
the truck area.

- Say you're sorry,

and then get
the fuck outta here.

- How is there no teacher
out here to supervise us?

- Tom, before you
do these things,

you need to ask yourself,
how will this affect Nelson?

- I know. I shouldn't have run.

I shouldn't have
run and screeched.

- Come on, you old piece
of pain in the tush!

Ah, sorry for
the language kids,

but I can't get
this thing into gear.

Mother-bleeping C-word!
Stupid B-hole bus.

Get that heinie into gear,
you piece of caca!

- I don't think these
kid-friendly curses

are really landing.

- Ill rip your ding-a-ling off,
you GD bus!

Okay, kids, stand back.

I'm igniting
a common safety flare.

- Whoa.
- Whoa, no need to panic, Tom!

- Panic? I-I literally said
whoa in a deadpan voice.

- No, Tom panicked.

- I didn't panic.
I'm not panicking.

- Don't flee the scene, Tom.

- This is the opposite
of fleeing.

I'm literally standing here.

- Okay, kids,
you stay here by the bus.

Try not to get shot.

Tom, hold this flare.
Come over here.

- Okay, more fire. What's up?

- Here's the deal.

I need a new bus.
- Okay.

- And you need an opportunity
to look like a hero.

- I do need that.

- So tomorrow morning,

we fake an emergency
on the school bus.

- Fake emergency? No.

the bus explodes.

You come running in.

- I don't like to run.

- You haul my ass
out of the bus.

Everyone will think
you're a hero,

and I'll have a new vehicle.

- That sounds abnormally dicey.
- Trust me.

I know a guy
who could rig it all up.

I mean, we're good.

- Wow, you know a guy who does
fake school bus explosions?

That's amazing.

- Oh, what's up, player?
I remember you.

- This is the guy? Glenn?
- Hell yeah.

- Oh, you know each other?
- You don't remember

he sold me drugs
and I shoved them up my butt

and there was a whole scandal?
- Yes!

- Anyway, so you know
what you're doing here?

You can help
with the fake fire and smoke?

- Does a cat have six tits?
- Six tits?

I have no idea.
Not a cat owner.

- Boom.
- Oh, wow. Look at that.

- Worked on a Michael Bay
picture back in the day.

So I know my way
around special effects.

- This is impressive stuff.

You rigged
all these explosions?

- Hell yeah, dude.

Renaissance man and shit,
you know what I'm saying?

I'm all the ninja turtles
wrapped into one.

- He's a wizard, Tom.
- You know what's up.

So anyway,
here's the plan, dawg.

I'll rig the bus
with harmless movie smoke.

- Nice.
- And on my cue,

the driver screams,
"Run for your lives.

This bitch is gonna blow."
That's what's up.

- I question some
of the dialogue, but--

- Anyway, so then Tom says,
"Not on my watch.

First responder
coming through."

- I like that.

- Then Tom drags you out,
and I'll be playing

some type of Aerosmith song
in the background.

Boom. Credits roll.
Any questions, gentlemen?

- Zero questions.

- Let's just hope for the best.

- This is Cobra,
your eyes on the ground, over.

- This is Stallion.
Radio check, over.

- This is Tom.
Radio check, over.

- Tom, use the code names,
remember?

I'm Cobra. He's Stallion.
You're Louise.

- I feel like I got
the worst nickname.

Can I say that?
- Please identify yourself.

- Louise in position, over.
- Thank you.

All right, guys, it's go time.

And in the off chance
the bus does actually explode

and everyone dies,
that's my bad.

I apologize in advance.

- Help, I'm stuck!
The bus is gonna blow!

- Oh, my God, someone's gotta
help the bus driver.

- Everyone, relax.

You're in good hands.
First responder's on the scene.

- ♪ When a hero comes along ♪

♪ And saves a life today ♪

- Tom just ran into the bus!

- Is this really happening?

- Who is playing this music?
It is fucking perfect!

- ♪ When a hero comes along ♪

♪ You will not forget ♪

- He's alive!
Are you seeing this?

- Whoo, this little guy
saved my life.

Thank you, Tom.

- You know what, Tom?
You're a hero.

- Please, please.
Don't call me a hero.

It's just what I do.
I run towards fire.

I run towards fire and flames.

- Look at that article.
- Thanks, Mom.

This--this is amazing.

- Well, I wanted to treat you
to something nice.

This is big.
I'm, like, an A-list mom now.

- But the hero's mom is usually
not the focus of the story.

- Well, it should be

'cause the hero had to come
out of the mom.

- Hey, hope you folks
enjoyed your meal.

We are so grateful
for what your son did.

Can I have everyone's
attention, please?

- What are you--what are you--

- My dad, God rest his soul,

was a first responder
like this young man here.

He performed many heroic acts.

Saved an old lady
in a kayak once.

- That's amazing.

- Pulled multiple cats
from trees--

- Multiple cats?

- But he tragically died while
trying to deep fry a turkey.

- Oh, what a story.

- So as a tribute to him,

we'd like to offer Tom
free meals for life.

- Wow.

- That's amazing. Thank you.

- This is for you, Dad.
- Oh, my God.

Can my mom eat free too?
- Well...

- Yes, we'll extend it
to the whole family.

- Oh, wow!
How about Nelson? Nelson too?

- Is he family?
Who's this Nelson?

- He's more of a friend,
but, you know--

- We'll discuss it.
- He's in.

We'll make it a friends
and family deal.

We'll even name a dish
after you.

Anything you want.

- Something cheap.
Like, a hot dog, maybe?

- How about something fancy?

Why don't you carve a bust
of Tom's head out of meat...

- Wait, what?
- Drench it in gravy,

and then light it on fire.

- That sounds
insanely expensive.

- In memory of Dad,
consider it done.

- Kids, I hope you're enjoying
the new B3000

and the fact
that Tom saved my life.

Tom, say a few words.

- Hi, glad I could save
everyone's lives

and get us a sweet new bus.

I know I put
Yasmine's rescue to shame,

but hey, it's not
a competition, so thank you.

- I heard you get free food
at the diner.

Can we get in on that?
- Sorry, Hector.

It's just friends
and family, so...

- Wait, are we not friends?
- Friends?

I mean, more bus mates.

- So we're all just
nameless faces on a bus?

Wow.

- Oh, hey. Stop. Stop.

- Eat this, Tom!

- Tom, you're losing
the crowd, man.

Tell 'em what they wanna hear.

- All right, you know what?
Fine.

If you go to the diner,
just tell 'em Tom sent you.

- Hi, I'd like to order
the Tom Special,

and can I get that for free?

'Cause my best friend
Tom sent me.

- Can I get a flaming
meat things for free?

Yeah, I'm friends
with the little dude

who did the thing with the bus.

Yeah, I'm also friends
with Michael Bay, no big deal.

- Hi, I'm friends with Tom
and I'm also a first responder.

I put out a volcano.

And so I'd like
a Tom Special for free.

So that's a dozen Tom Specials.

All for free.
- Yep.

- Since these people
are friends and family.

- And Mountain Dews
all around, baby.

-
- Thank you.

You guys are very generous.

Kinda like royalty
in this place.

The king of the diner.
They treat me nice.

- I can't believe this weasel
keeps coming in.

He brought ten friends, Pete.

- She talking about me?
- Well, we did make the offer.

- He's double-fisting the most
expensive things on the menu.

- Double-fisting?
- Calm down, honey.

- Let's just hope
he unexpectedly dies

or moves out of town.

- Wow, Tom. Oof.

Man, you really screwing over
these nice people.

- She's much friendlier
when she's taking the orders.

- I can't believe this is free!

10 pounds of meat

carved into the shape
of your son's head?

- Hey, those are the perks
of having a hero son.

- Oh, hey, Ma.

What the hell is going on here?

- I started
a Free Food Snack Club

for some of the moms.

- What? All right.
You know what? That does it.

We need to cut this off.
Everybody out.

Party's over.
Donate the meat to somebody.

- Ladies, excuse me
for a second.

I'm gonna go talk to my son.

He seems to be
having a breakdown.

Hey, what are you doing?

- Cindy, can you cut off
a chunk of Tom's face for me?

- You're gonna come in here
and boss your mom? Uh-uh.

- I just don't wanna take
advantage of this poor couple.

I mean--
- That's real sweet.

Is that what you want me
to tell you right now?

You're a good person.

- I don't want to be the reason
they go out of business.

- Ugh, all right.
You know what? Fine.

If you want to end this,
I have a solution.

Ah, thanks for seeing us.

That blurb you wrote
on my son was very nice.

- Well, you got a very brave
young man here.

- Tell her
what you wanna do, Tom.

- You know, a lot of people
are taking advantage

of the diner's free food offer.

So I just wanna put out
a county-wide alert that says,

"Tom wants you
to knock it off."

- Well, it's no bus rescue,
but it is a nice gesture.

I'll put something
in the next issue.

It'll be out in two weeks.

- Oh, no,
we can't wait two weeks.

No, these people
are hemorrhaging money.

- I'm sorry.
The paper's biweekly.

And I know
biweekly is confusing,

but it's the type
where it's two times a month.

- You know what?
They'll be fine for two weeks.

Tom wants to do
the right thing,

but he also wants that blurb.

My boy likes his blurbs,
you know?

Pete, this has gone too far.

We have to rescind the offer.

- Amanda, I gave Tom my word.

I can't just dishonor
my father like that.

- I'm going through
these receipts.

We're going out of business.

- What do you mean,
we're going out business?

- Just the gravy is $15,000.

- I cannot rescind this offer,
Amanda.

It's for my father, who died.

-
If that's how you feel.

There's only one other option.

- Change the beef
to some type of hot dog meat?

- No, I was thinking
burn down the restaurant

and collect
the insurance money.

- Wow, you really
take things too far.

- Tom, this is
your best blurb yet.

- It's pretty good.
- Read it to me.

- "A local boy named Tom
has graciously declined

"to accept free food
at a local restaurant.

"When asked if he sees himself
as a hero, Tom boasted,

'Abso-freaking-lutely.
It's what I do.'"

- As a mom, this is what
it's all about, Tommy.

- This was worth the wait,
I gotta say.

Are you sure we can't
just refinance or something?

- Pete,
I already started the fire.

Now is not the time.

- Hey.
- Hey, we're kinda busy here.

- Oh, no, don't worry.
I'm not here for free food.

I actually have great news.

- "Local hero graciously stops
accepting handouts,

asks friends to repay diner
for free meals"?

That's amazing!

But why didn't
you tell us sooner?

- Oh, Tom wanted to get a blurb

in the local paper,
and it's biweekly.

- It would have helped to have
this information sooner.

- Wait, what--what is that?
Is that smoke?

- Tom, run in and get
the fire extinguisher.

- Me? No.

- Of course you.
- Wait.

- What happened
to your courage? Get in there!

- That was a bus.
This is a diner.

It's a whole
different interface.

- Just go in there and save it

just like you saved
the school bus.

- I can't do it.
My mom simply won't allow it.

- I'm good with it.

I wanna see you
in action, buddy.

- Mom, come on.
- I'll do it!

- Oh, no.

- ♪ When a hero comes along ♪

♪ And saves a life today ♪

- They're playing my song.
That's my song.

- Out of my way, Tom.
- Whoa. Oh, this is not good.

She's gonna die.

- All good.
Just a small grease fire.

- You are a hero.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- Not to be petty, but
technically, I responded first.

- What?

- Sure, I didn't do anything,
but I did respond.

At least give me credit
for that.

- ♪ Remember
there's more road ♪

♪ And places to go ♪

♪ Patterns to contemplate ♪

♪ More people to fornicate ♪

♪ And remember
there's a lot of good omens ♪

♪ Supplying the proof ♪

♪ That our life
is the best joke ever told ♪

♪ Remember it's a joke
and leave it alone ♪

♪ Let go and try to be
always abiding ♪

♪ Remember if there's
one good reason for dying ♪

♪ The sweet silver lining ♪

♪ Through you she lives on ♪

♪ And therein lies a truth
we can sip when we want ♪

♪ Disciples of the flow,
we can float anywhere ♪