All language subtitles for Ten.Year.Old.Tom.S01E07.Tomz.Lemonade.1080p.HMAX.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- OMG, look at
this little munchkin.

- Oh, hey, Mrs. Band.

- This is so cute
I'm gonna barf.

- I'm trying to help my Mom
pay her electric bill.

I need $100.

- He's got a hook,
ladies and gentlemen.

Wow, you marketing genius.

Well, how much have
you made so far?

- Zilch.
You're my first customer.

- "Zilch," he says.
This kid with the lingo.

Look at you.

You're adorable,
you're hilarious,

and you've got an eye
for business.

- I rarely get this much
positive feedback.

- Well, maybe you found
your calling.

I am honored to give you
your very first dollar.

- Thank you so much.
Do you want a large or a small?

- You know what?
I don't even want the lemonade.

That's how much I believe
in you, you cutie patootie.

- This is literally
the best interaction

I've ever had with a person.

- Get used to it, hun.
You're going to the top.

- I really found my calling.
Finally nailing it.

- Tombo.
- Oh, hey, Rick, the neighbor.

- What do you got going on,
buddy?

The old lemonade stand, huh?
- Yeah.

You know, everyone seems
pretty impressed.

- Really?

Tom, do you know what the word
"patronizing" means?

- No, it doesn't sound good.
- No, it's not good.

In the real world,
you would get slaughtered.

- Slaughtered?

- They would tear you
a new a-hole.

- Mo--most people would
have been more encouraging.

- Most people are idiots, Tom.

I'm in advertising, okay?
I make a lot of money.

- Okay.
- I bang a lot of chicks.

And I've literally got Clio
Awards coming out of my butt.

Tell me, do me a favor
and just check.

- Check what?
- Whoops. Oh, what was that?

Did another Clio Award
just come out of my butt?

'Cause I've got too many.

- You carry one with you
just to make that joke?

- Tom, why don't you
come into my agency one day?

I will have my team give you
the tips on the lemonade stand

like you were a real client.

Does that sound fun?

- I mean, fun is a strong word.

I could use the help, though.
I'll ask my mom.

- Okay, great. You know what?
First, let's take a pic.

Ready?
Rick pic if you will.

- Rick pic?
- Say,

"My lemonade stand
sucked balls

until Rick swooped in
and saved the day."

- I'm not gonna say that.

- I love mentoring kids.

There's--you know, there's
no better feeling in the world.

- ♪ Now as our poor
young lungs deflate ♪

♪ I'll admit
I've gotten older ♪

♪ Mellowed out, chatting up
those I used to hate ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The feeling that
we're lost will always fade ♪

♪ I present no explanations ♪

♪ Can't expect
our tired patience ♪

♪ To satiate for long ♪

♪ Therein lies a truth
we can sip when we want ♪

♪ Disciples of the flow,
we can float anywhere ♪

- Guys, tiny little Tom here
is my neighbor's kid

and I promised
that we would help him.

So let's treat him
like a real client, okay?

- Happy to have you, Tom.
Welcome.

- Jerry, please shut up.

Little Tommy, Margaret here
is our star creative director.

Mags, give Tom
your first impressions.

- Well, your table's great.

And the name is fun.
- Thank you.

- The only part I struggle with
is right here.

- The Tom part?
- You got it, the Tom part.

You have a face that screams
"I make bad lemonade."

- Bad lemonade?
- It says,

"I'm making
an inferior product

and I don't really care."

- Thanks, Jerry. I got this.
- Sorry.

- Just to be clear,

you guys are doing this
to be nice or mean?

- Guys, flag on the play,
let me step in here.

Jerry, dim the lights
and grab me a cookie.

- Sure thing, boss.

- Tom, what is lemonade?

Don't answer, please.
Thank you.

Is it just a beverage
or is it so much more?

Maybe it's a reminder
of a simpler time.

Lightning bugs.

Putting a card in the spoke
of the wheels of your bike.

A time when neighbors
knew each other by name.

And the sound
of children's laughter

wafted through the air.

- So true.
- Damn it, Jerry, please.

Not when I'm going.

- Oh, sorry.

- Tom, you need to offer people
a window to that time.

Like a comforting voice
that says,

"It's going to be okay."

What you need is an old man.

- Yes. Love it.

- Jerry like-y that.
- Old man.

That's the whole--that's
the whole idea? You're done?

- Tom, this is what we do
for a living.

Now, normally, we would charge
$100,000 for that.

Great meeting, guys.
Really good.

- Thanks for doing this,
Grandpa.

I really appreciate
you helping out.

- Oh, thank you
for including me.

This is gonna be so much fun.

- Just be yourself,
chat people up.

Our brand is all about
the simpler times.

- It's my strong suit.
- Hey, Ms. Munoz.

- Hello. What's this?
A new employee?

- This is my adorable grandpa.

- So nice to meet you.
- Let me tell you a story.

- Okay.
- I had a lemonade stand

on this very block
back in 1960.

I charged a nickel.

- Mm.
- My slogan was,

"I like Ike,
and you will like my lemonade."

- I love it.

What a great story.
- That's folky.

That's folksy stuff
right there.

- Give me two cups.
- Wow, it's actually working.

We're up to $10.
$90 to go.

- Denise, isn't this the cutest
lemonade stand ever?

- It's so sweet.
I'm putting this on Instagram.

- I once dated
a girl named Denise.

High school sweetheart.
- Oh.

- Had a caboose on her
that wouldn't quit.

Just like you.
Ho-ho-ho.

- Did you just
touch my rear end?

- Wait, what?
- Oh, no.

I was just jabbering on
about my old sweetheart.

- Oh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
No, I saw it.

He grabbed her rear end
and squeezed it.

What the hell, Tom?

- He's just being folksy.
He's being folksy.

It's like--like
in the good old days.

-
The good old days when people

just molested each other
on the street?

- It's a compliment.

"A caboose that won't quit"
is a good thing.

- Grandpa. Stop saying caboose.
- You know what?

Don't stop.
Don't stop what you're doing.

The world is watching you,
old man, so--

- Please don't record anything.
- What's going on?

- Oh, we see you.

- Why are all these broads
recording me?

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, we "broads" now.

Okay.
- All right. You know what?

We're--we're gonna close up
for the day.

All sold out,
swing on back tomorrow.

- Wait, wait, wait.
I'm confused.

Did he say caboose

or did he actually touch
someone's caboose?

- He said caboose,
then he--

he did a full palm grab
of a woman's rear end.

- Like a basketball?
- It looked like it.

It's on camera.
The whole thing is--

- Oh, my gosh.
- It's terrible.

- Tom, I don't think you're cut
out for the business world.

- I know. I'm shutting it down.
I wanted to help my mom,

but that's just
not gonna happen.

- Tom, don't give up so easy.

A lemonade stand

is a time-honored
childhood tradition.

- Not with me.

You gotta shut it this time.
You gotta shut your mouth.

- Tom, I know you're stressed

and I know you're on the edge
ready to jump--don't do it.

- Tom & Gramps
is all over social media.

They're calling us
two generations of molesters.

- Yes, I did see that
and it doesn't look good.

But all you need to do
is pivot.

The butt grab,
where'd that happen?

Tom & Gramps.
- Yeah.

- So change the name.

Something vague like T&G's.

- What do you mean?

You could just change the name
and keep running the business?

- Yeah, of course.
RadioShack is now "The Shack."

Kentucky Fried Chicken
is now KFC.

The mercenary group,
Blackwater is Academi.

- This is great.
- Yeah. T&G's Lemonade.

"The only thing we squeeze
are the lemons."

- Oh, my God. I love it.
- Thank you.

- Nelson, you wanna
join the company?

- Sure. But you gotta make me
a board member.

I'm not a front counter
apron-wearing type of guy.

- All right.
You're on the board.

Hey, Principal, you awake?

- Yes.
What do you mean "am I awake?"

- Some people sleep
with their eyes open.

- We wanna buy some airtime

during the morning
announcements, can we do that?

- Yeah.
Like Buick and Grey Goose.

- You know, to be honest
with you, it feels wrong,

but I do really admire
your guys' hustle.

So I'll give you 30 seconds.
That's it.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- Hey, gang,
it's your principal here.

The following
is a paid ad, okay?

It's frowned upon.
It's illegal.

And if you could just not say
anything to your parents,

I'll do you something good
on the other side.

-
Thank you and greetings.

As you may have heard,
my grandpa recently grabbed

and squeezed the rear end
of our school nurse.

- And this does not reflect
the core values of our brand.

- My grandpa has been
sidelined and I just want you

to feel comfortable
when you come on in.

No one's gonna make a lunge
for your butt.

It's just going to be
a tasty lemonade

'cause that's the way
we do it at T&G's.

- Where the only thing
we squeeze are the lemons.

- Guys, seriously?
That was impressive.

- Thank you. Well, we're
learning a lot about business.

- Maybe I'll invest in you
like that show "Shark Tank."

- Really?

- Well, I was kidding,
but I mean, why not?

I like to encourage things
like this.

And I got a lot of extra money
from those

morning announcements,
so here's 100 bucks.

- You're just giving us $100?
- Yes.

All I want is
my name on the door.

"The Principal."
- I don't know about that.

No, you know, if we had a door,
we--we'd accommodate this,

but we don't,
there's no door.

This is amazing.
I made my $100.

I can quit now
and pay my Mom's bill.

- Quit? We can't quit.

We got to use this money
to scale up.

- Scale up?
- Yeah.

Let me introduce you to
a concept they call "flipping."

- You're gonna flip
lemonade stands.

- That's right.

- Put our branding on it
and then sell it.

- And then we gonna buy
two more.

And then we're gonna
sell those two,

and then we gonna buy four.

- I actually like this plan.
- That's right.

- All right.
Let's flip lemonade stands.

- No slouching, Phil.

At T&G's, we stand tall.
Bob, tuck your shirt in.

Where you think you at,
McDonald's?

- Yeah. Tuck it in, please.

- It's so crazy how people
could be so stupid.

- Yasmine, look alive.
- Hey, that's salt.

That's not sugar, that's salt.
Don't put that in there.

- Well, yeah, his grandpa
is still alive.

It's just that he's been phased
out of the daily operations.

You know, there was just
so much groping going on.

Tushes and hands,
tushes and hands.

It was like boop, boop, boop.
- Hector, Hector.

Hey, we don't mention
the Grandpa incident.

That was in the past, okay?
Whole new company.

- Sorry, boss.
- Thank you. All right.

Back to work.
Back to work, everyone.

I can't believe we own a chain
of lemonade stands.

We've doubled our investment.

- Hey, stick with me.

You'll be paying electric bills
for complete strangers.

- Paying electric bills
for strangers?

That doesn't really
even interest me, does it?

- Tombo.
- There he is. There's Rick.

- Other guy.
How's your lemonade stand?

- Oh, we're not
selling lemonade.

We're selling
lemonade "franchises."

- It's great.
- Tom, I'm blown away,

but can I offer a tiny bit
of constructive criticism?

- Please don't criticize
my face again.

- No one's doing brick
and mortar these days, okay?

I would lose
the lemonade stands.

- That's the whole thing.
That's the whole business.

- The real money, guys,
is in "licensing" the brand.

- No, I don't know.
I'm--I don't know about that.

- Okay. My agency has
the Trader Joe's account,

and they make these deals
all the time.

I could set you up
with a pitch meeting.

- Tom, we can make money
in our sleep.

- I feel like I'm wealthy
enough, at this point.

I made my sales goal.
Plus, I'm pretty busy.

- Tom, from what I can tell,
you play whiffle ball

and you chase squirrels.
You're not a busy person.

- Oh, no, Rick, please.

Things like that, that's why
my mom calls you "The Douche."

I'm not sure about
this decision, Nelson.

I had the $100

and we spent it all
on power ties.

- Come on, Tom. You need
to spend money to make money.

When they see our power ties,
they're gonna be like,

"Whoa, these guys
mean business."

- Yeah.
But when they see my Mom--

- Excuse me, do you guys
have a suggestion box here?

Because I bought a party size
of bagel bites

and it was not enough
for a party.

- Yeah, your Mom kind of kills
the power vibe, man.

We--we're gonna need
to work around her.

Now, let's go close this deal.
Just let me do all the talking.

- I have to admit, guys,
this is so fun.

- Thank you.
- I mean, two friends

inspired by their grandpas?

I mean, this is
our brand DNA right here.

- I came up with the name
and the slogan,

"The only thing we squeeze
are the lemons."

- I love it. I love it.
So what does he do?

- Oh, Tom doesn't
talk in meetings.

- You know, sometimes
I say dumb things.

It kind of runs in the family.
-

It's adorable. What a pair.
Okay. Wait.

So I wanna start back
at the beginning.

Why Trader Joe's?
- Why?

Well, it's all about
corporate synergy. See--

- We even use your lemonade
in this--in this whole thing.

- Tom, don't do it.

- I'm sorry. Come again.

- We actually--
- Tom, stop.

- Nelson, please, I got this.
Don't touch the mouth.

We use Trader Joe's lemonade
to make our--

we just pour it in
and then we--

- Hold on.
So this is our product?

- This is news to me.
- Yeah.

Why are we not laughing
anymore? What's going on?

- Why would we license our own
product back from ourselves?

- Oh, no, no.
We water it down.

- Tom.
- Oh, that's even better.

So you are selling me back a
diluted version of my product.

Is that it?

- I mean, when you phrase it
like that,

it sounds like
a bad business deal, but--

- Okay.
Well, thanks for coming in.

Feel free to show
yourselves out.

- Okay.

I think you were right.
I should not do the talking.

No one in my family
should ever do the talking.

♪ ♪