Original subtitles

- Mom, I don't know about this hairstyle.

- Tom, it looks so good. I cannot ease up at this point.

- I just question the blazer!

I question the blazer/side part combo.

- This is class picture day. This is a big deal.

I need how you look in these pictures

to be a reflection of me.

- You're holding up the drop-off line.

- I'm combing my child's hair.

This is a tender moment, a-hole.

- You're making your son look like an idiot.

- Um, he looks adorable.

Like a young Timothée Chalamet, so...

- Show of hands! Who thinks this kid

looks like a young Timothée Chalamet?

- Uh...

- I can kind of see it. - Thank you.

We've got a consensus here.

Ma, we really gotta wrap this up.

- Okay, What are you gonna do when you get in there?

- Sit up straight and say "cheese."

- I love you, buddy. This is our life

on the line here, I love you.

- I think you're expecting a lot from

this hair and blazer combo.

- ♪ Now as our poor young lungs deflate ♪

♪ I'll admit I've gotten older ♪

♪ Mellowed out, chatting up those I used to hate ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The feeling that we're lost will always fade ♪

♪ I present no explanation ♪

♪ Can't expect our tired patience ♪

♪ To satiate for long ♪

♪ Therein lies a truth we can sip when we want ♪

♪ Disciples of the flow, we can float anywhere ♪

- Okay. Right out of the gate,

let's lose the hairdo and the blazer.

- Oh, no. My mom just spent like a half hour on that.

- Oh, did your mom ask me if--

if that was time well spent?

- I don't know, I'm not-- I'm not privy to that.

Hey, what are you doing?

- I saw your yearbook last year.

It was meh.

It was meh. - The yearbook was meh?

- Look, we're doing things a little different this year.

Okay, just-- give me a silly face.

Stick your tongue out.

- My mom explicitly said,

sit up straight and say "cheese."

- I don't do "cheese" here. - You don't do "cheese"?

That's the main word. - Jacob!

- What's happening right now?

- We're trying to capture the feeling

of what it is to be a child.

So give me a raspberry. - Raspberry?

- Yeah. Give me some raspberries.

- Pfft. That kind of thing? - Y--oh! That was great.

Do that again. - Pffft. Pbbbbt.

Oh, God, yeah. Love it, okay.

- Let's get-- let's get a "cheese" one.

- I don't do "cheese."

- You're out of control at this point.

- Turn your back to me,

and throw a look over the shoulder,

like-- like peekaboo.

- I'm begging you right now.

We spent all weekend.

We bought a comb! - You nailed it.

I think we're good.

- Good! - Jacob!

I'm taking five minutes!

This kid is a handful!

- How's my favorite grandma?

- Livin' and lovin' the world.

- Can I get you a drink?

- Ah, you're a doll, Tommy.

I'll take a tea with honey.

- A little complex.

Can I get you any-- anything simpler?

- Oh, okay, just the cortado then.

- Cortado? You know what, forget I asked.

Forget the beverage. You don't seem thirsty.

- What the hell?

- Guess what I got? I got the proofs

for Tom's class pictures!

- Oh, no. - Oh!

Let's take a look.

- Are people still looking at pictures these days?

I thought that's kind of come and gone.

- I know you don't know what it's like

to be a single mom.

Since your dad left,

I feel like I'm judged,

I feel like I gotta keep up appearances.

I need this picture to scream

success, prosperity,

and family values.

- This is not good. - What happened?

- Did they retouch these? What's going on right now?

- Are you trying to ki-- are you trying to kill me?

- It must be the photographer's fault,

he must of-- - Tom, there's no way

he looked at you and said,

"try to look like a creep saying peekaboo."

- He literally said that word for word.

- Tom, you need new pictures

before you come back in this house.

- I think the kid is lashing out.

- Grandma, please. - He ruined his pictures,

and he refuses to make his grandmother

a simple cortado.

- That is an incredibly complex drink--you realize that, right?

- It's an espresso with a drizzle of warm milk,

and it's not that hard, Tom.

- Grandma, would it kill you to run over to Starbucks?

I mean, seriously.

All right, I shouldn't have said that.

Now I'm lashing out.

- Senator, yes! Get up on the raft!

Oh, my God, yes!

- Sir, these are for my re-election posters.

- You're gonna love these, okay?

It says dignity but not without

a sense of whimsy, okay?

Bounce up and down.

- 'Scuse me?

Hey. I got a question

about the yearbook pictures.

- Are--are you for real?

- Uh, my mom, uh, and grandma

weren't thrilled with the-- the shots.

They didn't really-- they didn't really care for

the peekaboo and the raspberries and all that.

So could we just get a quick redo?

Just grab a quick "cheese" shot

like we talked about?

- That's so interesting. Hey, everybody!

Everybody, gather around! - Don't make a big thing of it.

- This little boy's grandmother wasn't thrilled

with my work and would like a quick redo.

And I guess my 15 years as a professional photographer

are just garbage bullshit!

- My mom literally wants a shot where I'm smiling

and looking at the camera.

- Your mom sounds like a crazy bitch, okay?

- What? - I shoot for huge magazines.

"New Jersey Living." You ever heard of that?

- No. - "Hedge Fancy."

You ever heard of it? - No.

- "Cat Fancy"? - Okay.

- The only reason I'm doing grade school yearbooks

is because I'm nailing your school nurse.

There. I said it.

- That's certainly a lot to take in, uh...

no redo is the recap, right?

No redo? - Show yourself out.

- Tom! - What now?

- Get in my office. Shut my door.

Sit down. Shut your mouth.

- Oh, okay. - We have a problem.

Do you see what's on my wall?

- Looks like a large, framed photo

of a grown man's rear end.

- Exactly. It's from the photographer.

It says, "Kiss my butt, I quit."

- It seems like a odd choice to hang it up.

- He's a famous photographer.

What am I gonna do? Not hang it up?

Right, now you realize how stupid that sounds.

- Yeah, what was I thinking?

- He quit 'cause of you and your personality.

And he won't hand over the media drive.

So guess what.

There's not gonna be a yearbook.

- Oh, my God. That's the best news ever.

- What are you talkin' about?

Tom, I want you to tell the yearbook club--

just, go ahead and tell them it's been cancelled.

- Me--you want me to tell 'em? You're the principal.

- Oh, God. Can I be honest with you?

Like, not an adult to a kid, but just, like, as a friend?

- That's a little weird, but okay.

- The yearbook club, they scare me.

Like they're the adults.

And don't ever tell them that!

- Okay, kids.

We need a theme for the yearbook.

Let's brainstorm.

- Uh, leprechauns!

- Awful, keep thinking.

- Paris in the '20s?

- Insipid. What else?

- Uh, fracking!

- That's actually good. I like that.

Thomas?

- Oh, hey.

Uh, listen, just a quick FYI.

I know you guys are working on the yearbook,

but there's not gonna be a yearbook.

- What now? - I asked for a redo,

due to some hair and blazer issues.

- So you had hair and blazer issues?

- The photographer got angry at me, and he quit.

Not a big thing. Don't dwell on it.

- Tom, you've just erased an entire year

from everyone's lives!

- That's a little dramatic. - Without a yearbook,

it's like it never happened.

Bake sale? Never happened.

Band recital? Whoo-hoo!

Au revoir! Soccer league?

- Never happened! - Thank you, Dakota.

All because Tom didn't like

how his insipid hair framed his stupid face.

- How are you still teaching here?

- Yo, Tom, what's up?

Man, I heard you screwed up the yearbook,

big time! - You know, I did.

But, hey, my mom hated the pictures anyway,

so this is a rare victory for me.

- Finally. Good to see you

come out on top for once.

- This is like a whole new era.

Era of prosperity

and good times and fun living.

- Holy cow! Look, it's Tom's face

on the side of that building!

- The era of prosperity didn't last that long.

- That was ten seconds on a bus.

- That's the longest run we ever had, Tom.

We gotta see what this is about.

Hey, driver! Can we hop out here?

- Yeah, of course. Just look both ways

when crossing the freeway.

- All right, we gotta find this guy.

- Let's go.

- We're looking for Fedir's Ukrainian Insurance.

Wait, what?

"Dumb donkey-face"?

♪ ♪

What is this guy's advertising budget?

Okay, we got it. Fedir's.

This is it.

What do you think? Is this safe?

- Sure, sounds like there's

a bunch of grown women in there.

- That's a good point. If you got grown women

and insurance, you're pretty safe.

- Yeah, if it was a bunch of dudes in there,

I would be terrified,

but something about it is nurturing.

- Gentle, gentle. No, stronger, str--

ye--no, gentle. Ohh.

- Uh, excuse me. Are you Fadir?

- Fadir died, was poisoned.

I'm son. I didn't do it.

- You didn't do it? - Wait, Wait.

Do I know you? - Do you know me?

I'm the guy from the ad campaign.

- Oh, my God! You're donkey ass-faced kid!

- No one calls me that, but I mean--

- My Verizon guy, my Taco Bell chihuahua!

- Don't get too excited, Fadir.

You need to pull those ads right now.

You have no rights to those pictures.

- Ohh. But I do.

I buy photos legit from angry photographer.

- Photographer? I can't believe he did that!

Can you be a nice guy, just pull them

and, uh, give them back?

- Listen, uh, donkey-face,

I love kids. But, I am businessman.

I have to feed my children.

And now I see opportunity, so maybe 500.

- $500?

- Deal. - Deal?

- Mr. B will pay anything

to save the yearbook, right?

- Oh, that's actually a really good idea.

- Mind if we step outside to get the money?

- I need collateral.

What if you walk out and leave?

- Three-ring binder? You want a three-ring binder?

- Eh, no. Leave, uh...

Okay, you leave other friend here.

- 'Scuse me-- - Great.

You hang on to Nelson, I'll go get the money.

So are you on the insurance side

or the-- the beautiful lady side?

- Oh, you know, a little of this,

a little of, like, wee-woo, woo-woo,

hi-hi.

- You know what, we don't have to make small talk.

- Tom!

- Mr. B. - This is such great news.

I hopped out of the bath when I heard your message.

Here's 500 in wet singles.

- Uh, one small request? - Anything.

- Please, use a normal picture of me in the yearbook,

something my mom will like.

- Of course, Tom. - Thank you.

- Freeze, you bald, wet, robe-wearing son of a bitch!

- Um, Fadir?

Uh, I think we need to go check outside.

- Oh, no. If anyone is murdered,

they always know.

- Hey, cue ball, eyes on me! - What's happening?

- Oh, we've been staking out this place for weeks.

- Just tons of weird, pervy behavior going on.

Horses entering,

but not leaving. - Horses?

- Hot women giving insurance quotes.

- Hot women? - Large amounts of baklava

being tossed in the dumpster.

That's as pervy as it gets!

But whatever's going on with you two,

way weirder. - What are you intimating?

- You're nude, you're bald, you're in a robe,

and you got a hard drive labeled

"pics of little kids"?

Man, if you're not getting arrested,

I don't know who is.

- All right, get this scumbag out of here.

- Should have put a shirt on, if nothing else.

- That might have helped.

Hey, aren't you the dumb,

donkey-faced kid from those ads?

- Nah, that's another kid.

- Can we get a selfie? - Oh, my God.

- Please, here, real qui-- real quick.

No, not like that. Make the donkey face.

- Make the face? - Yes.

- How's that? - Look dumb.

- How's that? - Dial up the donkey.

- Oh, wow.

Tom! - You like it?

- You look so handsome in your yearbook photo.

You look like Bill Gates, buddy.

- Thank you. - Aren't you kind of glad

I told you to sit up straight and say "cheese"?

- It all worked out. Great picture in the yearbook,

and I learned how to make a cortado.

- Actually, it sucks. Pffft.

- This is not a fun grandma visit.

- Give me a quick peekaboo over the shoulder.

Give me a little peekaboo over the shoulder.

- You're talking to me?

- Cook some oatmeal, put some blueberries on it,

and put it in front of your children.

- In what sense?

- Now fly-fish for me.

Fly-fish! - What?

- You're a real handful, you know that?

♪ ♪