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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:04,754 I acknowledge that, henceforth, 2 00:00:04,837 --> 00:00:09,133 my access to my memories will be spatially dictated. 3 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,720 ! will be unable to access outside recollections 4 00:00:12,803 --> 00:00:15,848 whilst on Lumon's severed basement floor, 5 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:18,351 nor retain work memories upon my ascent. 6 00:00:20,728 --> 00:00:23,898 I am aware that this alteration 7 00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:26,526 is comprehensive and irreversible. 8 00:00:28,569 --> 00:00:30,112 I make these statements freely. 9 00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:35,117 Okay, that's a wrap. 10 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,205 Come with me, please. 11 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,257 So your work personage will be waking in a few hours on the severed floor. 12 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:52,593 But the next time you yourself will be sentient will be this evening, 13 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,136 in the elevator back up. 14 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,221 Okay. 15 00:00:55,763 --> 00:00:59,267 The elevator has a handrail at hip-level if you feel dizzy. 16 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,768 Oh, man. 17 00:01:03,437 --> 00:01:05,815 I love seeing the sunrise on his face. 18 00:01:07,483 --> 00:01:10,361 You know he used to drink three raw eggs in milk each morning? 19 00:01:10,444 --> 00:01:11,445 I've heard. 20 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,114 His favorite breakfast. 21 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,533 We'll get you prepped in here. 22 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,160 -Good morning, Lawrence. -Good morning. 23 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:46,188 They say it doesn't hurt. 24 00:01:51,068 --> 00:01:52,403 Just relax. 25 00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:10,379 Little vibration now. 26 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,003 I'll be upstairs after to let you know how it went. 27 00:02:52,963 --> 00:02:54,757 Sorry if I freak out on you a little. 28 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,428 Don't worry. I'm very excited to meet you. 29 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:42,805 Hey, Hetty. 30 00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:44,932 What's happening? 31 00:03:45,015 --> 00:03:46,142 Great to see you. 32 00:03:47,309 --> 00:03:49,103 Your orientation's been so much fun. 33 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:53,232 Where am I? 34 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:58,404 Okay, so sometimes when a new hire is adjusting to a severed space, 35 00:03:58,487 --> 00:04:00,698 we help by bringing them here to the stairwell, 36 00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:02,658 to experience the transition viscerally. 37 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,618 Oh, no. I'm trying to leave? 38 00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:05,911 No, no. 39 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,455 It's all part of the process. 40 00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,957 If you wanna spin around and head back in, that should be that. 41 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:15,838 Hey, there. 42 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,427 -What the hell? -That's okay. 43 00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:23,262 Not a problem. 44 00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:25,639 Wanna give it another shot? 45 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:27,141 Maybe with a little oomph? 46 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:33,314 Hi. 47 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:34,982 I'm at the stairwell. 48 00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:37,777 It's going fair. 49 00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,321 No, she's-- 50 00:04:40,404 --> 00:04:41,405 Fuck! 51 00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:43,991 |'ma call you back. 52 00:04:46,243 --> 00:04:47,244 Wow. 53 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,415 You're an inquisitive one. 54 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:53,501 I don't wanna be in there, do 1? 55 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:54,794 You're learning that you do. 56 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,882 Hey, when we heard you were coming here, it was like a miracle. 57 00:05:00,549 --> 00:05:02,593 It's amazing what you're doing. 58 00:05:25,282 --> 00:05:26,367 Hey, old-timer! 59 00:05:26,867 --> 00:05:28,160 One day down. 60 00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:44,231 Hey. 61 00:08:45,232 --> 00:08:46,233 Hey. 62 00:08:46,316 --> 00:08:47,609 So it's tomorrow now? 63 00:08:48,902 --> 00:08:49,945 Yeah. 64 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,822 Well, it's Monday. 65 00:08:52,614 --> 00:08:54,199 -A weekend just happened? -Yeah. 66 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,701 I don't even feel like I left. 67 00:08:55,784 --> 00:08:58,495 Yeah, that's how nights and weekends feel here. 68 00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:00,289 Like nothing? 69 00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:01,498 Well, you get used to it. 70 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,209 I mean, I find it helps to focus on the effects of sleep 71 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:06,628 since we don't actually get to experience it. 72 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:10,215 You may feel rejuvenated or happy. 73 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,885 Less tense in the shoulders. Spry. 74 00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:16,930 So it's 09:05? 75 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:20,267 Yeah, they stagger the entries too so we don't meet on the outside. 76 00:09:20,350 --> 00:09:21,685 It's important apparently. 77 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:25,939 So I guess we're not friends. 78 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,901 Guess not. 79 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,074 My current file's called "Tumwater”... 80 00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:37,367 which I started some 11 weeks back. 81 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,786 "Tumwater." All one word. 82 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,412 Should I be taking notes? 83 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,831 -No. -I've got it 96% sorted, 84 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,584 which means I've earned four of the five tier incentives, 85 00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:50,255 including the erasers and the finger traps that you see displayed here. 86 00:09:50,839 --> 00:09:54,009 100% is tier five. That gets you a caricature portrait. 87 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,971 You'll note I've accrued an embarrassment of wealth in that regard. 88 00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,515 -Wow. -Correct. 89 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,975 Each one of these? Finished file in the can. 90 00:10:02,684 --> 00:10:04,311 So that's the highest award? 91 00:10:04,394 --> 00:10:05,521 Percentage-wise, yes. 92 00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:07,689 But if we hit our numbers by quarter's end, 93 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,817 one of us gets named refiner of the quarter, 94 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,194 and that shit gets you a waffle party. 95 00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:13,862 I'm sorry, a waffle party? 96 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,364 Okay, hazards on, eager lemur. 97 00:10:15,447 --> 00:10:18,700 I'm a dead lock for that this quarter, so don't get your hopes up. 98 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,413 What about Mark's crystal head cube? 99 00:10:23,997 --> 00:10:26,416 That's not a prize, that's just something they gave him. 100 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,877 Hetty, could you flip on this console? 101 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,478 Okay. 102 00:10:49,064 --> 00:10:50,190 That's-- Excuse me. 103 00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,950 Mark, sorry to interrupt. I know you're training Hetty. 104 00:11:00,033 --> 00:11:03,245 I just noticed you've removed the group photos from the desks. 105 00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:06,456 Yeah. We're gonna take the new ones at Hetty's party today. 106 00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:12,880 Okay, this is the Siena file. 107 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:14,798 Now, all the data you see 108 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:18,343 falls into one of four essential categories. 109 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,554 And we group each line of code, 110 00:11:20,637 --> 00:11:25,184 and then sort it evenly between five digital buckets. 111 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,268 Party. 112 00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:28,228 Just poke around first. Use the arrows. 113 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:32,232 I do think the old photos are supposed to stay on the desk 114 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,942 until the new ones come in. 115 00:11:40,949 --> 00:11:41,950 Right. 116 00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:44,786 -Should this mean something to me? -No. 117 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,331 No, all the data comes from upstairs fully encoded. 118 00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:49,917 Then how do I categorize it? 119 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,045 What? 120 00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:59,676 Each category of numbers presents in such an order as to elicit 121 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,970 an emotional response in the refiner. 122 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:08,477 So, Cat 1 numbers, for example, feel a certain way on sight. 123 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,730 They'll be sort of disconcerting, scary. 124 00:12:11,813 --> 00:12:12,814 Scary? 125 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:14,107 I know. 126 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,943 My job is to scroll through this spreadsheet 127 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,611 and look for numbers that are scary? 128 00:12:17,694 --> 00:12:19,696 It sounds dumb, and Mark said it dumb. 129 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,950 Are the numbers bloody? Do they chant? 130 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,911 It doesn't make sense till you see it, and it takes a while to see. 131 00:12:25,994 --> 00:12:27,871 Hey, Mark. I just printed out 132 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,332 the passage of the handbook on changing out group photos. 133 00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:33,543 Just might be good to peruse when you're between things. 134 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,462 -Thank you. -Sorry. 135 00:12:38,882 --> 00:12:39,967 Am I trapped here? 136 00:12:42,177 --> 00:12:43,637 In what way? 137 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,432 Like if it turns out I hate this and I want to quit, is that an option? 138 00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:52,187 Look. 139 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:54,815 If you're really unhappy, 140 00:12:54,898 --> 00:12:59,111 you can submit a resignation request with your outside self for review. 141 00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:01,071 And good luck getting that approved. 142 00:13:01,154 --> 00:13:04,866 Well, they do tend to be rejected. Plus, you know... 143 00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:07,452 What? 144 00:13:08,328 --> 00:13:13,166 Well, since this perceptual version of you only exists at Lumon, 145 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,461 I mean, quitting would effectively end your life. 146 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:18,463 I mean, in so much as you've come to know it. 147 00:13:20,507 --> 00:13:21,967 Hello, Refiners. 148 00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:24,136 Sweet. Melon bar. 149 00:13:24,219 --> 00:13:25,679 Hi, Mr. Milchick. 150 00:13:25,762 --> 00:13:28,098 Hetty, welcome. 151 00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:31,685 I'm agog at how well I can tell you're already fitting in. 152 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,396 The office feels whole. 153 00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:39,526 Now, let's get this party started. 154 00:13:45,532 --> 00:13:48,869 Well, my name is Irving, as you all know. 155 00:13:48,952 --> 00:13:51,121 And I've worked here for three years, 156 00:13:51,204 --> 00:13:56,001 and something about me is that I know all nine core Lumon principles. 157 00:13:56,084 --> 00:13:58,545 Awesome. What's your favorite? 158 00:14:01,548 --> 00:14:02,549 All nine. 159 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:07,679 But today, I think I'd say, "cheer". 160 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:08,764 Great. 161 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,228 No trust fall today, Irv. 162 00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:18,440 Right. 163 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,201 No. No. 164 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,877 Hello, I'm Hetty. 165 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,670 I've been at Lumon for, like... 166 00:14:41,671 --> 00:14:42,839 ten hours total, and... 167 00:14:45,425 --> 00:14:47,552 I'm sorry, I don't know anything about myself. 168 00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:49,846 Sure you do, Hetty. 169 00:14:51,264 --> 00:14:52,307 I really don't. 170 00:14:53,683 --> 00:14:54,893 I guess I went home last night, 171 00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:57,062 but I don't know if home is a house, or an apartment, 172 00:14:57,145 --> 00:14:58,230 or if I live with a family-- 173 00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:00,982 I like to think my outie lives on, like, a riverboat. 174 00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,611 I'm sorry, outies are-- 175 00:15:04,694 --> 00:15:07,489 They're us on the outside. 176 00:15:07,572 --> 00:15:09,783 You saw yours yesterday in the video. 177 00:15:09,866 --> 00:15:13,120 Right. I actually have a few things to say to her. Can I record something back? 178 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,916 So what you'll find here is that communication between selves 179 00:15:17,999 --> 00:15:19,376 is pretty curtailed. 180 00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:21,461 So what if I write her a note? 181 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:25,590 Fortunately, the elevators are equipped with something called "code detectors.” 182 00:15:26,299 --> 00:15:27,968 So messages can't be passed through. 183 00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:31,471 Yeah-- They're like metal detectors for written symbols. 184 00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:32,806 A Lumon original, apparently. 185 00:15:32,889 --> 00:15:33,974 That's right. Right. 186 00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:35,892 Sure. Okay, well what if I-- 187 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,687 I don't think you're quite getting the game here, Hetty. 188 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:40,897 May 1? 189 00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:45,026 Guys, this is Hetty. 190 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,447 She's 30 years old, she's allergic to almonds and has weak enamel. 191 00:15:49,197 --> 00:15:52,242 At 5'6", she's the fourth tallest person in your office, 192 00:15:52,325 --> 00:15:55,495 and her hair is what we call shoulder-length. 193 00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:01,418 And seeing her here with you all, I'd say she most definitely has a family. 194 00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:10,093 Wow. Well, that's a lot to follow. 195 00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:13,513 So I'll just say that I'm Mark. 196 00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:19,311 Been with Lumon about two years, and I absolutely love this game. 197 00:16:21,104 --> 00:16:24,566 Nice try, pal, but you said that last time. 198 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,360 Fair enough. 199 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,199 Well, ... 200 00:16:37,787 --> 00:16:41,333 I broke protocol this morning. 201 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,923 I was dusting the old group photos, the ones with Petey, 202 00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:49,549 and it just... 203 00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:53,053 made me feel sad. 204 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:56,264 And, I guess, 205 00:16:57,224 --> 00:17:01,102 worried that I won't be able to run MDR like he did. 206 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,230 That tracks. I have similar worries. 207 00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:05,774 Sol... 208 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:09,861 took 'em from the cubicles and put 'em in the storage closet, 209 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,155 which we're not supposed to do. 210 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,701 I recall this. I objected. 211 00:17:20,455 --> 00:17:22,123 Thank you for telling me, Mark. 212 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:26,253 I actually find your reaction sweet. 213 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:30,382 Though, it is puzzling you have an outburst like this for Petey, 214 00:17:30,465 --> 00:17:33,552 and not for, say, Carol D. 215 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,556 But we knew Carol D. was leaving beforehand. 216 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,599 I mean, her outie filmed a thank-you. 217 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,727 Petey was just gone. 218 00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,106 And I mean, I-- I don't know 219 00:17:46,189 --> 00:17:52,487 if he's at some new job or drunk on a beach, or dead-- 220 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,030 That's enough, please. 221 00:18:03,915 --> 00:18:06,042 I think this is a good time to remind ourselves 222 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:09,254 that things like deaths happen outside of here. 223 00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:11,715 Not here. 224 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:16,177 A life at Lumon is protected from such things. 225 00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:22,976 And I think a great potential response to that from all of you is gratitude. 226 00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:34,613 I also think that melon isn't getting any tastier. 227 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,399 Hey, sorry I derailed your game. 228 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:16,279 I thought I already had, but then, yeah, you made it way worse. 229 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,785 So how are you gonna figure out if Petey's okay? 230 00:19:21,868 --> 00:19:24,371 I think Milchick was pretty clear. 231 00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:27,040 You're just done asking about your best friend 232 00:19:27,123 --> 00:19:28,917 because our babysitter told you to stop? 233 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,213 You know, Milchick's a nice man. 234 00:19:33,296 --> 00:19:36,174 When he says something, it's best to listen. 235 00:19:36,257 --> 00:19:39,094 -I don't care. -'Cause he can't always be nice like that. 236 00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:41,096 Okay, Refiners! 237 00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:44,349 Let's get this new group photo before the melon bloat sets in. 238 00:19:56,444 --> 00:19:57,487 At last. 239 00:20:00,323 --> 00:20:05,328 All right. Great big smiles. Remember, you're gonna be looking at this every day. 240 00:20:07,163 --> 00:20:08,623 Say "gratitude.” 241 00:20:09,332 --> 00:20:10,583 Gratitude! 242 00:20:13,753 --> 00:20:14,879 Say "cheer." 243 00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:16,881 Cheer! 244 00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,179 Hetty? What are you doing? 245 00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:27,142 I just think I'm not gonna work here anymore. Sorry. 246 00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:28,393 What do you mean? 247 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:29,936 I quit. 248 00:20:30,019 --> 00:20:31,730 I don't wanna do the file-sorting thing 249 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,149 or the never-seeing-the-sun-thing or the disappearing-friends thing. 250 00:20:34,232 --> 00:20:36,693 -I just don't want any of it. -We told you there's code detectors. 251 00:20:36,776 --> 00:20:40,488 Do you know that? Have you tried? Because frankly, it sounds made-up. 252 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,581 Hetty! 253 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,252 Hetty! 254 00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,141 Please, you don't know-- 255 00:21:10,059 --> 00:21:11,644 Oh, God. Come on. 256 00:21:21,988 --> 00:21:24,115 Shit. Mr. Graner? 257 00:21:27,702 --> 00:21:28,703 Come on out. 258 00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:36,044 What have we got here? 259 00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:40,673 Perhaps you'd better come with me. 260 00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:41,841 Mr. Graner. 261 00:21:44,552 --> 00:21:48,765 Hey. I see you've found my wayward trainee. 262 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,935 Appreciate your help, sir, as always. 263 00:21:54,979 --> 00:21:55,980 The note. 264 00:21:56,606 --> 00:22:00,401 So, this is embarrassing, but it's my first time training, 265 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:04,697 and I must've just forgotten to go over data-smuggling rules with Hetty. 266 00:22:06,157 --> 00:22:07,700 Sorry. This is Hetty. 267 00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:08,785 Hetty, Mr. Graner. 268 00:22:09,994 --> 00:22:10,995 Yeah. 269 00:22:13,164 --> 00:22:15,667 Yeah, so if Hetty tripped the code detectors, 270 00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:20,296 that one, it's on me and I apologize for that, sir. 271 00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:21,798 Earnestly. 272 00:22:23,591 --> 00:22:25,301 Big department chief now, Mark S.? 273 00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:26,970 Well... 274 00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:31,516 On you, then. Let's go. 275 00:23:47,634 --> 00:23:48,885 Mark. 276 00:23:52,055 --> 00:23:53,932 So you're a doula? 277 00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:56,351 A midwife, actually. 278 00:23:58,686 --> 00:24:02,523 And how many deliveries have you, I don't know, seen? 279 00:24:06,402 --> 00:24:07,820 Over 3007 280 00:24:08,446 --> 00:24:10,198 This is mostly back in Montana. 281 00:24:10,281 --> 00:24:12,742 -Wow. That's so cool. -Yeah. 282 00:24:12,825 --> 00:24:15,161 That's such a high amount. 283 00:24:15,244 --> 00:24:18,748 Yeah. We get two a day. 284 00:24:19,874 --> 00:24:20,917 Depending. 285 00:24:31,010 --> 00:24:33,721 So, is that, like, ten a week? 286 00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:35,723 Like, in a five-day work week, or... 287 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,433 -Yeah, or so. -Yeah. Okay. 288 00:24:38,434 --> 00:24:42,105 -Are you vetting me for your sister? -No. Oh, no. You seem great. 289 00:24:42,188 --> 00:24:43,731 -Yeah, I'm kidding. -I know. 290 00:24:53,324 --> 00:24:54,409 Thank you. 291 00:24:54,492 --> 00:24:56,995 So, Lumon? 292 00:24:58,121 --> 00:24:59,956 -Yeah. -Like half this town. 293 00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:02,834 And half of me. That was a joke. 294 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:04,961 It was funny. 295 00:25:05,044 --> 00:25:10,883 Yeah. I'm in the archives division, sort of a corporate historian, apparently. 296 00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:15,179 So a lot of sensitive material, hence the... 297 00:25:17,890 --> 00:25:19,308 So you don't know... 298 00:25:20,768 --> 00:25:24,147 who you work with, or what you do, or-- or anything? 299 00:25:24,230 --> 00:25:25,940 Yeah, that's the idea. 300 00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:28,317 -What if you snuck in a note? -You can't sneak notes. 301 00:25:28,901 --> 00:25:29,944 So... 302 00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:32,905 -you could have a girlfriend at Lumon... -Thank you. 303 00:25:32,989 --> 00:25:33,990 ...and not know it. 304 00:25:34,073 --> 00:25:36,701 And if you met someone out here, you wouldn't know it in there. 305 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:39,162 Like, you could get married and have kids, 306 00:25:39,245 --> 00:25:41,789 and just forget they exist for eight hours every day, 307 00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,249 for your whole life. 308 00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:45,334 That doesn't mess with your head? 309 00:25:48,629 --> 00:25:51,382 I think for some people, it's the point. 310 00:25:56,304 --> 00:26:00,558 So, as a local, this just feels like a reasonable temperature to you? 311 00:26:00,641 --> 00:26:02,602 Well, technically, I'm from Ganz. 312 00:26:02,685 --> 00:26:05,021 And you're one to talk. 313 00:26:05,104 --> 00:26:09,317 Isn't Minnesota, like, crazy cold with the lakes? 314 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,736 Yes. Minnesota was very cold 315 00:26:11,819 --> 00:26:15,907 the one time I visited from my home in Montana. 316 00:26:16,866 --> 00:26:18,034 So those are different places. 317 00:26:21,412 --> 00:26:23,164 So do you live in Lumon housing? 318 00:26:24,499 --> 00:26:26,667 You make it sound like dorms or something. 319 00:26:27,418 --> 00:26:29,587 -No, I just meant that there's-- -I live in Baird Creek. 320 00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:34,342 And, yes, they happen to be subsidized by the company that employs me. 321 00:26:34,425 --> 00:26:36,719 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health? 322 00:26:36,803 --> 00:26:38,387 And legalized severance in the workplace? 323 00:26:39,972 --> 00:26:42,600 -Nice. The WMC's out and about. -Who? 324 00:26:42,683 --> 00:26:45,311 Most severed workers don't see the sun their whole lives. 325 00:26:45,394 --> 00:26:47,688 The Whole Mind Collective. They're great. 326 00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:50,441 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health? 327 00:26:50,525 --> 00:26:51,526 We're all good. 328 00:26:51,609 --> 00:26:53,486 You folks have a moment for children's brain health? 329 00:26:53,569 --> 00:26:54,445 -We do. -Great! 330 00:26:54,529 --> 00:26:56,239 We're trying to get a measure on the ballot 331 00:26:56,322 --> 00:26:59,075 to keep mega-corporations like Lumon from continuing to force 332 00:26:59,158 --> 00:27:00,409 legalized severance on our state. 333 00:27:00,493 --> 00:27:01,869 They're forcing it now? 334 00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:04,747 That's what they're lobbying for. And Jame Eagan is trying to sever kids-- 335 00:27:04,831 --> 00:27:08,084 Okay, well, what about the self-mutilating types who do it willingly? 336 00:27:08,167 --> 00:27:10,670 I mean, I heard that some of them are so deluded 337 00:27:10,753 --> 00:27:12,505 they don't even know they're victims. 338 00:27:12,588 --> 00:27:15,174 I also heard that if you're severed, 339 00:27:15,258 --> 00:27:18,344 you go to two separate hells. Is that true? 340 00:27:18,427 --> 00:27:20,847 Hey, man, you wanna benefit off forced labor, that's up... 341 00:27:20,930 --> 00:27:23,141 -Hey, man. Forced labor? -...then that's up to you. 342 00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,267 Fucking really? 343 00:27:24,350 --> 00:27:25,560 -Hey! -Yeah. 344 00:27:25,643 --> 00:27:26,936 -Forced labor? Okay. -Really. 345 00:27:27,019 --> 00:27:29,480 So people can just, like, self-imprison? 346 00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:31,065 Are you captive right now? 347 00:27:31,149 --> 00:27:35,361 No, seriously, because your past self chose to walk you down here 348 00:27:35,444 --> 00:27:37,905 to be an infantilizing prick to people. 349 00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:40,783 Severance is subjugation, asshole. 350 00:27:41,784 --> 00:27:43,619 That's nice language for a-- 351 00:27:43,703 --> 00:27:45,121 What-- What are you? Twelve? 352 00:27:45,204 --> 00:27:48,082 Are you 12 years old? Are you even in high school yet? 353 00:27:50,751 --> 00:27:52,253 Okay. Come on. 354 00:28:22,950 --> 00:28:23,951 Mrs. Selvig. 355 00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:25,745 Peace offering. 356 00:28:26,787 --> 00:28:27,788 Are we fighting? 357 00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:31,000 I just keep thinking about those damn bins. 358 00:28:31,959 --> 00:28:36,380 Well, that is so not necessary, but very kind. Thank you. 359 00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:42,220 Here, why don't you come in? I have milk. 360 00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:44,680 -Why, thank you! -Yeah. 361 00:28:47,016 --> 00:28:50,853 I'm experimenting with chamomile, so no hard feelings if you gag. 362 00:28:50,937 --> 00:28:52,104 I'm sure I won't. 363 00:28:55,358 --> 00:28:59,028 Still waiting for that third bulb to revive itself? 364 00:28:59,111 --> 00:29:02,156 Oh, yeah. Keep forgetting to change that. 365 00:29:02,949 --> 00:29:05,785 My, you smell nice. Were you on a date? 366 00:29:06,827 --> 00:29:13,751 Sort of. My sister set me up with, like, her doula, or midwife. 367 00:29:13,834 --> 00:29:15,503 Didn't really feel like anything. 368 00:29:20,883 --> 00:29:23,261 Well, let's see here. I'll... 369 00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:34,188 Wow. 370 00:29:34,689 --> 00:29:36,148 This i-- These are magic. 371 00:29:40,444 --> 00:29:42,280 My late husband was a carpenter, 372 00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:43,823 and before he passed, 373 00:29:43,906 --> 00:29:48,786 he said he would start building us a house in the hereafter. 374 00:29:49,829 --> 00:29:53,291 And there would be a small guest apartment in the back, 375 00:29:53,374 --> 00:29:56,335 in case I found a new man before I got there. 376 00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:01,841 That's... so sweet. 377 00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:08,514 Yes. He even drew blueprints, which I keep in my purse. 378 00:30:14,061 --> 00:30:15,646 Well, come by the shop, okay? 379 00:30:15,730 --> 00:30:20,318 I'll give you a mugwort bath bomb that'll make you sleep like a rag doll. 380 00:30:20,401 --> 00:30:21,861 I'll try to get down there. 381 00:30:22,945 --> 00:30:24,447 Good night, Mrs. Selvig. 382 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,922 The nerve, my new partner's a woman. 383 00:31:23,005 --> 00:31:25,257 I just think you could've mentioned it sooner. 384 00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:29,929 You'd better be on the stakeout and not... out for a steak. 385 00:32:29,738 --> 00:32:31,866 Seth Milchick, Lumon Industries. 386 00:32:31,949 --> 00:32:34,034 Mr. Milchick, it's Mark Scout. 387 00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:37,079 I'm a severed worker. Employee number 4502. 388 00:32:37,163 --> 00:32:40,166 Mr. Scout, what a pleasure. How can I help you? 389 00:32:40,249 --> 00:32:42,710 I actually woke up not feeling terribly well. 390 00:32:42,793 --> 00:32:44,378 I'm sorry I'm just now calling. 391 00:32:45,045 --> 00:32:48,174 Oh, no. May I ask how serious it is? 392 00:32:48,257 --> 00:32:52,928 Well, nothing bad, just very minor stomach event. 393 00:32:53,012 --> 00:32:54,305 Should be back tomorrow. 394 00:32:55,389 --> 00:32:56,515 Well, I'm sorry. 395 00:32:56,599 --> 00:32:59,226 I know your innie will be sad to have missed the day. 396 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,981 You feel better. Okay, Mr. Scout? 397 00:33:08,944 --> 00:33:11,322 -Where's Mark? -Missed you too. 398 00:33:11,405 --> 00:33:14,325 He should be coming down first now. You don't think that-- 399 00:33:14,408 --> 00:33:16,994 He's probably sick. They wouldn't bounce him and Petey the same week. 400 00:33:17,077 --> 00:33:18,412 I certainly hope not. 401 00:33:18,496 --> 00:33:19,914 Quarterly deadline's coming up, 402 00:33:19,997 --> 00:33:22,500 and I'm not looking to be department chief. 403 00:33:22,583 --> 00:33:26,420 Wow. Lot a confidence for a man who once got disciplined for dozing. 404 00:33:28,839 --> 00:33:30,341 Sorry. That was-- 405 00:33:33,135 --> 00:33:36,180 I can't help that I was hired older than you. 406 00:33:38,974 --> 00:33:40,601 It just never stops, huh? 407 00:33:40,684 --> 00:33:41,936 Endless toil. 408 00:33:43,270 --> 00:33:44,396 Where's Mark? 409 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,649 Sick or fired. Probably sick. 410 00:33:47,149 --> 00:33:49,235 They wouldn't have fired him for my note thing, would they? 411 00:33:49,318 --> 00:33:52,029 No. No way. He did his stint in the break room yesterday. 412 00:33:56,158 --> 00:33:57,368 He said he was ill. 413 00:33:57,952 --> 00:33:59,161 Did he sound ill? 414 00:33:59,245 --> 00:34:01,497 I don't know. He said it was abdominal. 415 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,208 Funny timing. 416 00:34:45,874 --> 00:34:48,961 The erasers are mostly decorative, since we don't have pencils. 417 00:34:49,044 --> 00:34:51,380 Finger trap is fun, as long as you know how to use it safely. 418 00:34:51,463 --> 00:34:54,592 But it's really more about what they represent, how far you got in the file. 419 00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:58,137 -But why don't we always finish the files? -'Cause they only keep so long. 420 00:34:58,804 --> 00:35:02,182 You know, we finish, on average, one in five files before they expire. 421 00:35:02,266 --> 00:35:05,936 Which is better than it used to be before Mark's freshman fluke. 422 00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:07,271 What's a freshman fluke? 423 00:36:06,330 --> 00:36:07,414 No! 424 00:36:08,248 --> 00:36:09,249 Irv? 425 00:36:12,127 --> 00:36:13,462 I'm-- I'm sorry. 426 00:36:14,254 --> 00:36:15,297 Irving? 427 00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:21,488 We'll deduct the time you spent dozing from your outie's paycheck. 428 00:37:21,989 --> 00:37:25,659 What will be harder to fix, Irving, is my and Ms. Cobel's trust in you. 429 00:37:26,201 --> 00:37:29,079 I'm so sorry, sir. I'm just so sorry. 430 00:37:29,163 --> 00:37:32,124 Well, no one is hankering to throw you in the break room. 431 00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:35,919 We'll do a wellness check with Ms. Casey and go from there, all right? 432 00:37:36,420 --> 00:37:37,838 Thank you, Mr. Milchick. 433 00:38:00,402 --> 00:38:01,653 Nothing scary yet. 434 00:38:10,954 --> 00:38:12,289 Oh, God! A four! 435 00:38:12,372 --> 00:38:13,540 Don't fuck around. 436 00:38:14,082 --> 00:38:17,336 I told you, you'll understand when you see it, so just be patient. 437 00:38:17,961 --> 00:38:19,421 What even are these numbers? 438 00:38:19,505 --> 00:38:21,882 Like, do we even know what we're supposedly cleaning? 439 00:38:24,259 --> 00:38:25,260 My theory? 440 00:38:26,970 --> 00:38:27,971 The sea. 441 00:38:30,265 --> 00:38:31,266 The sea”? 442 00:38:31,975 --> 00:38:33,435 Yeah. Think about it. 443 00:38:33,519 --> 00:38:36,647 Okay, if our outies are up there severing their brains, 444 00:38:36,730 --> 00:38:38,524 shit must have gotten pretty bad. 445 00:38:38,607 --> 00:38:41,276 Famine, plagues, et cetera. 446 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:44,571 So what is a desperate humanity to do? 447 00:38:47,032 --> 00:38:48,033 Populate the sea? 448 00:38:48,116 --> 00:38:49,493 Populate the sea. 449 00:38:49,576 --> 00:38:53,330 But first, they gotta send probes down to the sea to clean up 450 00:38:53,413 --> 00:38:56,875 all the deadly eels and shit, "cause we can't cohabitate with that. 451 00:38:57,376 --> 00:39:00,879 So we send the probes down, they send us the data coded, 452 00:39:00,963 --> 00:39:05,509 we sense what's eels, and then we tell the probes what to blow up. 453 00:39:09,012 --> 00:39:10,264 This is the leading theory? 454 00:39:12,224 --> 00:39:15,310 Nah, Irv thinks we're cutting swear words out of movies. 455 00:39:19,773 --> 00:39:23,360 But what is it? Like, what-- what are we actually workin' on down there? 456 00:39:25,445 --> 00:39:26,446 I don't know. 457 00:39:27,739 --> 00:39:30,325 I thought without severance it would make more sense, but... 458 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,830 They separate us from the other departments. 459 00:39:34,913 --> 00:39:36,748 We don't even know how many there are. 460 00:39:41,253 --> 00:39:43,505 But I've been reintegrated for two weeks now. 461 00:39:46,133 --> 00:39:47,885 I've been mapping out the floor. 462 00:39:59,605 --> 00:40:01,982 I hid the original for you when I left. 463 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,086 You okay? 464 00:40:31,219 --> 00:40:32,220 Sorry. 465 00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:34,890 Reintegration sickness. 466 00:40:37,517 --> 00:40:39,186 Never heard of that one. 467 00:40:39,978 --> 00:40:42,397 Because I'm the first dipshit that's ever had it. 468 00:40:43,690 --> 00:40:47,527 Plus, living in a cold-ass greenhouse doesn't help, but I can't go home. 469 00:40:50,656 --> 00:40:54,785 Okay, so what is it that happens down there that's so bad? 470 00:40:58,664 --> 00:40:59,665 There's this room... 471 00:41:06,338 --> 00:41:08,757 We go in there when we don't act right. 472 00:41:16,515 --> 00:41:17,641 What is that? 473 00:41:24,356 --> 00:41:25,941 I'm afraid you're not sorry. 474 00:41:27,067 --> 00:41:31,279 Please. I truly am. I'm sorry. 475 00:41:31,363 --> 00:41:33,031 Please read the statement again. 476 00:41:34,992 --> 00:41:39,413 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world. 477 00:41:39,496 --> 00:41:45,335 None may atone for my actions but me, and only in me shall their stain live on. 478 00:41:45,419 --> 00:41:47,629 I am thankful to have been caught, 479 00:41:47,713 --> 00:41:51,800 my fall cut short by those with wizened hands. 480 00:41:52,676 --> 00:41:56,304 All I can be is sorry, and that is all that I am. 481 00:41:57,472 --> 00:42:01,893 I'm afraid you don't mean it. Again, please. 482 00:42:03,437 --> 00:42:08,066 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world. 483 00:42:09,568 --> 00:42:12,863 None may atone for my actions but me. 484 00:42:16,324 --> 00:42:17,659 The fuck is that? 485 00:42:20,078 --> 00:42:21,329 That's the break room. 486 00:42:54,446 --> 00:42:55,697 I'm-- I'm sorry. 487 00:42:55,781 --> 00:42:57,032 No, I'm sorry, sir. 488 00:42:57,115 --> 00:42:59,326 I didn't think anybody was out here. 489 00:42:59,409 --> 00:43:02,204 I'm coming out from my session. 490 00:43:02,287 --> 00:43:07,584 I was just going in. I was admiring the art while I wait. 491 00:43:08,460 --> 00:43:12,130 That piece hung in the perpetuity wing for many years. 492 00:43:12,214 --> 00:43:15,092 I know. And it broke my heart when they took it down. 493 00:43:15,675 --> 00:43:17,969 It's better here. It's calming. 494 00:43:21,181 --> 00:43:23,892 I'm Irving. Macrodata Refinement. 495 00:43:24,476 --> 00:43:25,936 Are you a department head? 496 00:43:26,019 --> 00:43:27,938 Well, Optics and Design. 497 00:43:28,688 --> 00:43:31,149 A two-person department, so, barely. 498 00:43:31,233 --> 00:43:32,651 So this is your work? 499 00:43:33,443 --> 00:43:36,196 We don't paint them. We do hang them. 500 00:43:36,279 --> 00:43:41,493 I loved that you did the Ambrose cycle in the team-building space last quarter. 501 00:43:42,035 --> 00:43:43,954 I'd never seen it. 502 00:43:44,454 --> 00:43:46,957 Well, it's rare to meet a sophisticate. 503 00:43:47,874 --> 00:43:51,878 Most people only think of O&D when new handbook totes come in. 504 00:43:52,921 --> 00:43:54,714 Well, I love those too. 505 00:43:54,798 --> 00:43:56,174 Yeah? 506 00:43:56,258 --> 00:43:58,635 There's new ones coming next month. 507 00:43:59,594 --> 00:44:01,388 Best design yet, in my view. 508 00:44:02,430 --> 00:44:06,434 Wow! Well, that's all I'll be thinking about until then. 509 00:44:07,060 --> 00:44:07,894 Irving? 510 00:44:46,349 --> 00:44:47,642 All right, Irving. 511 00:44:48,476 --> 00:44:52,397 What I'd like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. 512 00:44:53,982 --> 00:44:59,988 Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. 513 00:45:01,656 --> 00:45:05,660 Just relax your body and be open to the facts. 514 00:45:06,453 --> 00:45:09,581 Try to enjoy each equally. 515 00:45:10,916 --> 00:45:14,127 These facts are not to be shared outside this room. 516 00:45:15,670 --> 00:45:18,882 But for now, they're yours to enjoy. 517 00:45:24,387 --> 00:45:26,348 Your outie is generous. 518 00:45:28,975 --> 00:45:32,896 Your outie is fond of music and owns many records. 519 00:45:34,648 --> 00:45:40,445 Your outie is a friend to children and to the elderly and the insane. 520 00:45:42,489 --> 00:45:46,701 Your outie is strong and helped someone lift a heavy object. 521 00:45:48,745 --> 00:45:54,417 Your outie attends many dances and is popular among the other attendees. 522 00:45:55,752 --> 00:46:02,717 Your outie likes films and owns a machine that can play them. 523 00:46:04,427 --> 00:46:09,891 Your outie is splendid and can swim gracefully and well. 524 00:46:11,393 --> 00:46:12,602 I'm sorry. 525 00:46:13,478 --> 00:46:16,064 Please try to enjoy each fact equally, 526 00:46:16,731 --> 00:46:19,401 and not show preference for any over the others. 527 00:46:19,985 --> 00:46:22,988 That's ten points off. You have 90 points remaining. 528 00:46:23,071 --> 00:46:25,282 -Points? -Please don't speak. 529 00:46:33,039 --> 00:46:35,625 Your outie won a game two weeks ago. 530 00:46:37,043 --> 00:46:39,629 Your outie values water. 531 00:46:40,922 --> 00:46:45,635 A photo of your outie with a trophy was once in a newspaper. 532 00:46:47,262 --> 00:46:51,599 Your outie has no fear of muggers or knaves. 533 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,604 Your outie likes the sound of radar. 534 00:46:59,190 --> 00:47:04,070 Your outie is skilled at kissing and lovemaking. 535 00:47:06,906 --> 00:47:07,907 I'm sorry. 536 00:47:07,991 --> 00:47:10,910 Please don't respond to any specific fact. 537 00:47:10,994 --> 00:47:12,787 That's ten points off. 538 00:47:12,871 --> 00:47:15,081 -I was just-- -Please don't speak further, 539 00:47:15,165 --> 00:47:19,002 or all remaining points will be deducted and the wellness session will end. 540 00:47:36,770 --> 00:47:37,812 Okay. 541 00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:00,251 -Is it just the elevators? -What? 542 00:48:00,335 --> 00:48:02,670 With the code detectors. Or is it the stairwells too? 543 00:48:02,754 --> 00:48:04,672 Jesus. Stairwells too. Why? 544 00:48:04,756 --> 00:48:06,966 If no one accepts the resignations, 545 00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:08,843 what makes you think they're being delivered at all? 546 00:48:08,927 --> 00:48:11,221 You gotta let the info-smuggling notion go. 547 00:48:11,304 --> 00:48:12,555 Okay, but how good are the scanners? 548 00:48:12,639 --> 00:48:15,809 Like, what if you wrote the letters funky, like one of those robot tests? 549 00:48:15,892 --> 00:48:17,769 -Hi, kids. What's for dinner? -Nope! 550 00:48:17,852 --> 00:48:19,104 How was wellness? 551 00:48:19,187 --> 00:48:21,064 Great. Very restorative. 552 00:48:21,147 --> 00:48:22,941 I met the O&D department head. 553 00:48:23,024 --> 00:48:27,195 Burt? I've met that guy. He's a fuck. You didn't tell him where we are, did you? 554 00:48:27,278 --> 00:48:29,364 Burt's not a fuck. And no. 555 00:48:29,447 --> 00:48:31,574 I'm asking for the safety of this department. 556 00:48:31,658 --> 00:48:33,118 -I don't need to tell you-- -That's a myth. 557 00:48:33,201 --> 00:48:35,036 And don't pretend you care about this department. 558 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:36,746 You just want your waffle party. 559 00:48:36,830 --> 00:48:39,791 Beg-fucking-pardon. We're supposed to like the perks. 560 00:48:39,874 --> 00:48:43,878 "And all in Lumon's care shall revel in the bounty of the incentives spur." 561 00:48:43,962 --> 00:48:46,673 Don't pervert a handbook passage to me, okay? 562 00:48:46,756 --> 00:48:47,924 -Don't do it. -Hey, guys? 563 00:48:48,007 --> 00:48:49,843 Lumon has been good to us, and it is feckless to-- 564 00:48:49,926 --> 00:48:50,927 Guys! 565 00:48:59,477 --> 00:49:00,728 That. 566 00:49:01,521 --> 00:49:02,522 Yep. 567 00:49:03,148 --> 00:49:04,691 Why is-- Why is it-- 568 00:49:04,774 --> 00:49:07,485 You okay. Just fence off the bad data like I showed you. 569 00:49:07,569 --> 00:49:09,446 Can you see the perimeter? 570 00:49:18,621 --> 00:49:20,039 And bin it. 571 00:49:32,260 --> 00:49:34,137 Boom. Fucking refined. 572 00:49:34,220 --> 00:49:36,389 All right, Hetty. Hip, hip. 573 00:49:37,140 --> 00:49:40,143 They were scary. The numbers were scary. 574 00:49:57,994 --> 00:50:01,372 Here's the couch. I'll find you a sleeping bag. 575 00:50:02,248 --> 00:50:05,668 And you can use the shower if you want. 576 00:50:06,419 --> 00:50:07,837 What are you trying to say? 577 00:50:12,842 --> 00:50:14,135 Thanks for doing this, Mark. 578 00:50:14,677 --> 00:50:17,514 Well, 1, you know, figured my work self would be pissed 579 00:50:17,597 --> 00:50:19,182 if I let you sleep in a greenhouse. 580 00:50:25,313 --> 00:50:26,314 Light's on the left. 581 00:50:54,008 --> 00:50:55,176 You okay in there? 582 00:50:55,260 --> 00:50:57,554 Yeah! Yeah, I'm good. 583 00:52:10,543 --> 00:52:11,669 Petey, are you okay? 44175

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