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1
00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:03,394
Amy: So this is technically
an Irish pub. Is it?
2
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:04,743
- Mm.
- I mean, the four-leaf clover.
3
00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:05,875
I don't know. Anyway.
4
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,181
Oh, it's Henry.
5
00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:09,574
"Where are you at?
It's almost sex o'clock."
6
00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:10,662
Ooh.
7
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,447
- Just block him.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8
00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:14,101
Oh, I put this on my tab,
by the way.
9
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:18,322
Oh, Amy, in lieu of cash,
can I give you a gift card
10
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,498
to Fields or
Les and Cathy's Coffee?
11
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:23,153
Free refills on Tuesdays
before 10:00.
12
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:25,068
In lieu? Are we French?
13
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,852
Jodie, did you rob a CVS? What?
14
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:28,593
Yeah.No. I buy all these
at the supermarket
15
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,334
so that they go on the food bill
16
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,467
and then Dan doesn't know when
I'm spending money on myself.
17
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:33,816
Oh, my God.
18
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,992
Well, there's a business degree
put to good use.
19
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,080
Right?
20
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,342
Oh, it's tragic.
21
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:40,257
Waiter:
Here's your check, ladies.
22
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,130
Take the leftovers with me.
23
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,957
Oh, my God. Are you homeless?
24
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,047
No, I'm minimum wage.
25
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,744
I have to do things
on the cheap now.
26
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,268
- Ahh.
- Seriously?
27
00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:52,443
- Hi.
- Let's go, ma'am.
28
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,315
Where -- Whoa! Discrimination!
29
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,534
Whoa, whoa! Brutal!
30
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,188
Against people with no money!
31
00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,060
You see this? That took
an interesting turn.
32
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,148
Jodie, will you grab my phone?
33
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,888
Yep, got it.
34
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:05,152
Anyway, I have got to go.
35
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:08,416
Got to be back home
in "sexteen" minutes.
36
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,287
You leave the tip.
37
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:12,246
Wait! I don't own cash.
38
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,726
Um...
39
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,035
♪♪
40
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,515
♪ Hey!
41
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,082
♪♪
42
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,300
Oh, God.
43
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,911
Oh, God. Just five more minutes.
44
00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:27,217
Mm.
45
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:29,176
Oh, my G-- Oh, my God.
46
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,916
What? What are you doing?
47
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,222
I'm just looking at you.
48
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,571
Why? Oh, come on.
49
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,225
Who does that? That's weird.
50
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:38,054
Because, um, I love you
and I think you're gorgeous,
51
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,187
and you have a little something
in your hair...
52
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:41,797
Oh, God... maybe oatmeal.
53
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,322
Mmm.
54
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:46,671
That was a teething biscuit.
55
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:47,585
Really good. Oh.
56
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,587
Julia's getting a molar, so...
57
00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:50,936
Alright, I'm gonna
take a shower.
58
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,460
No, hey. Don't you, uh...
59
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,114
Don't you want to get dirty
before you get clean?
60
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,245
Oh, my God. Again?
61
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:56,551
We just did it last night.
62
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,118
I just can't get enough of you.
63
00:01:58,161 --> 00:01:59,249
Come on. What -- Hold on.
64
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,947
I can feel a little bit extra.
65
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:04,341
Oh, that's disappointing.
It was just toothpaste.Oh.
66
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:06,126
Look, if you're having an affair
67
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,476
and you're doing this
out of guilt,
68
00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,130
I'm good. I'm really good.
69
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,001
And maybe cut your toenails.
70
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,786
I'm growing them out for you.
71
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:18,138
♪♪
72
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,443
You guys! Regret. It's regret.
73
00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,141
You guys, I have the most
scandalous gossip.
74
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,664
Thanks for this.
75
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:26,146
One of the other moms at school
got found out for having...
76
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,148
an OnlyThrills account.
77
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,758
I know. I know.
78
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,760
Can someone please tell me
what OnlyThrills is?
79
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,327
You don't know?
80
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:36,068
It's a website where normal,
ugly people can be porn stars,
81
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,636
and they do either sexy stuff
or just mundane things
82
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,160
like washing dishes or eating.
83
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,987
Look, I bookmarked the mother.
84
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,511
Look at her. Oh!
85
00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:48,168
Whoa. I can't believe we know
a sex worker.
86
00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:50,518
She's not a sex worker, Jodie.
87
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,607
She's pulling in $50k a year
88
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,784
letting people watch her
suds up her lopsided boobs.
89
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,482
Oh, you guys, her boobs
are lopsided, look.Mm-hmm.
90
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:01,268
Half of her had fun
in high school, huh?
91
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,704
Wait, guys.
92
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,227
People aren't even
showing their faces on this.
93
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,881
Look at this one.
94
00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,710
This is just someone's feet
being squirted with baby oil.
95
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:11,930
Wait. People will pay
to look at feet?
96
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,323
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
97
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,585
In other news, Jodie,
you're fake spiritual.
98
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,500
Is there any planets
in retrograde right now,
99
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,849
or like a horny moon rising,
100
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,330
because Henry's
all over my jock.
101
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,897
We had sex last night,
this morning.
102
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,464
It's unprecedented.
103
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,683
Did you know that you can burn
up to 300 calories making love?
104
00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,163
Gross. Nobody's "making love."
105
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,425
We're boffing, okay?
106
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:29,905
A lot. It's obscene.
107
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,515
I mean, the rest
is pretty standard.
108
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,517
I have prettier feet
than anyone on here.
109
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,519
Yeah, you have very pretty feet,
110
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,217
and now you're just
giving it away for free
111
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,566
every time you wear a flip-flop.
112
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,524
Do you think? No!
113
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,222
Sarah! What?
114
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,049
You cannot! Why?
115
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,573
Why can't I have a side hustle?
116
00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,227
I want to buy that sofa
I've been visiting
117
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,837
at Carol Convertibles.
118
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,534
God, I would love
to take her home.
119
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,275
It's sad you're more excited
about a sofa
120
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,972
than anygirl you've ever dated.
121
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,932
It's that soft. Wait, so you're gonna
get naked?
122
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:58,238
On camera?
123
00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,456
On the Internet?!
124
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,893
Jodie, calm down.
It's just my feet.
125
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,591
I've been using my brain
my whole life to get by.
126
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,114
Now I'm gonna use my bod.
127
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,463
That-a-girl. Well, I could never.
128
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,900
I mean, I am a mom, after all.
129
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,598
Ah! Yeah. To the left.
130
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,426
Just a little. Okay, okay.
131
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,906
Swing your knee over
this -- this way.
132
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:17,039
Oh.
133
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,562
Okay.
134
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,610
There we go. Um, can we just
pull the booster out?
135
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:23,741
No, they're impossible
to get in.
136
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,048
They take forever.Um...
137
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,267
Oh, this is rough.
138
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,485
You know what?
We can take it out.
139
00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,008
I have a manual in the glovebox.
140
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,140
No, no, no. Hey, no, no.
141
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:33,273
It's not your fault. It's mine.
142
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:35,753
I mean, you're this --
This classy lady,
143
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:38,756
and I don't even have anywhere
for us to be together.
144
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,932
I should never have let my mom
put her beer fridge in my room.
145
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:43,979
She's always barging in now,
especially in the mornings.
146
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:45,807
Oh, no. I know, right?
147
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:46,938
It's so fattening.
148
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,679
It's not like we can boff
at my place.
149
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,203
What? Oh. Amy put it in my head.
150
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,727
Oh.
151
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,772
You know what, Jodie?
This just lights a fire under me
152
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,557
to get my fitness empire
off the ground.
153
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,689
You know, I mean, I'm already
basically an influencer.
154
00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:02,432
I just need a couple more
pec result photos and...
155
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,434
Yeah. Once I have
my own chain of gyms,
156
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:05,696
we can have sex in one of those.
157
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,915
Ah! And this lights
a fire under me
158
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,525
to get my organizing
business going.
159
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,701
Yeah! But that could take years.
160
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:13,661
Look at us.
Future power couple.Aww.
161
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,750
Is there anywhere we can rent
for an hour?
162
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,056
We'll need cash for that.
I'm on it.
163
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:27,109
I'm sotired from just running
around with the kids all day.
164
00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:28,632
We were painting,
165
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,678
and we must have blown
like 1,000 bubbles.
166
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,463
I mean, honestly,
how many bubbles can one blow?
167
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,987
Um, Julia ate
a puzzle piece, okay?
168
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,163
So just be on the
lookout for that. Yeah.
169
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,774
I think it was, like,
a cat's claw.
170
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:42,994
Like the end of a cat's claw
or something like that.
171
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,344
Henry. Hmm?
172
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,781
What is going on with you?
Why are you so into me?
173
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:49,000
Are you participating
in a male hormone study?
174
00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,393
You're just hotter than ever.
175
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,352
I don't know. I cut my toenails.
176
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:53,788
I know. I can tell.
177
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,703
This is a little alarming, okay?
178
00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,269
Who are you imagining I am?
179
00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:58,401
It better be someone
unattainable
180
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,664
like Angelina Jolie
or Cleopatra.
181
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:03,450
Those women are gross,
and one of them's dead.Mm.
182
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,756
This is a little embarrassing
to admit,
183
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,499
but since you started
being a hands-on mom...
184
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,588
In the afternoons? Yes.
185
00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:14,069
You've made a choice to spend
more time with the kids,
186
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:17,072
and it brought out
a new side of you.
187
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,596
What? What side?
188
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,557
You know, like,
more nurturing and caring.
189
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,385
You've stopped army crawling
under the windows
190
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,908
so the kids
don't know you're home.
191
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:31,652
You don't call Luke "the one
with the brown hair" anymore.
192
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,350
You know what
a teething biscuit is.
193
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,700
I mean, come on.
You're maternal.
194
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,441
You've changed. It's a turn-on.
195
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:41,401
Unbelievable. What is that?
196
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,707
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
197
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,100
Honey, it's a compliment.
198
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,667
Oh, my God.
199
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,756
You're basically saying that you
weren't attracted to who I was
200
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,454
before I started mothering
the kids... in the afternoons.
201
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,717
Is "mothering" a word?
202
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,240
Not what I said.
Not what I said.
203
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,590
And yes, I think so.
204
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,069
Well, it doesn't matter
if you said it or not.
205
00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:00,289
It's what I heard,
so I'm finally the woman
206
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,508
that you wish you married.
207
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,074
Then great for you.
208
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,381
I-I'm kind of confused
how this is a bad thing.
209
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,427
Julia: Mama.
210
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,038
Julia's teething. I need to go.
211
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,953
Try to keep it in your pants.
212
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,085
I --
213
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:16,653
Mommy's coming. Oh, boy, that's hot.
214
00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:22,746
You really need this? Yes!
215
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,008
My feet need a lot of light.
216
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,662
I-I want it to look like
they're on vacation.
217
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:28,317
Mm. This is Evan's desk lamp,
and I feel dirty.
218
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,666
Stop being such a prude.
219
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:32,364
I am letting you
shoot erotica in my house.
220
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,063
Oh, grow up. Amy: Ughhhh!
221
00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,194
Where are your kids?
222
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,153
What?
They're downstairs with yours.
223
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:39,763
Is that the first thing that people
think of when they see me?
224
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,243
No. I think your hair's
too blonde.
225
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,897
What? It's just, it washes you out
a little,
226
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,464
but it's not as brassy
as it was.
227
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,422
Oh, my God. Okay. Well, Henry
doesn't seem to mind.
228
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,684
Did he actually say that?
229
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,338
Okay, he's obsessed with me
right now,
230
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,166
ever since I started taking care
of the kids in the afternoon.
231
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,950
Guys, he called me --
232
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,778
- He called me "maternal."
- Aww.
233
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,824
You did tell me to be careful
at a crosswalk the other week.
234
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,173
No, I didn't. Did I?
235
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,304
Mm-hmm. You did.
236
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:00,480
I don't recognize myself.
237
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,133
Oh, that's why all the boffing.
238
00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,787
The what? The boffing.
239
00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:05,659
The sex. Oh, right.
240
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,530
You sound like a little
British man when you say it. Oh, thanks.
241
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,053
Well, it is derived
from Middle English.
242
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,708
Okay. When did this turn into
a Shakespeare class?
243
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,710
My husband wishes
I was somebody else.
244
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,495
No, he just likes the new you.
245
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:16,931
Well, if Coleen had never died,
246
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,454
I never would have started
going home in the afternoons
247
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,238
to take care of the kids,
and he never would have realized
248
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:22,197
how unhappy he was.
249
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,720
Mnh-mnh.
250
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,592
Jodie, can I get a, um,
a pillow for under my foot?
251
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:26,723
I just want to --
I want to prop it up.
252
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,246
Like, a decorative one.
253
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,510
Just to be clear, you would
never do this for me.
254
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:32,860
Guys, I'm not doing it
again tonight, okay?
255
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,252
I have actual work to do,
256
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,646
and I am notgonna get a UTI
for his kink.
257
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:37,821
Amy, you should be
happy your husband
258
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,170
wants to have sex with you.
259
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,521
The old you, the new you,
the brassy you.
260
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:42,739
What's this "brassy" thing?
261
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,175
You know, if more men
were like him,
262
00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,003
OnlyThrills wouldn't even exist.
263
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,005
Jodie, this pillow looks cheap.
264
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,268
Do you have a -- a classier one?
265
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,098
But it's perfect
for your seedy clients!
266
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,665
You don't know they're seedy!
267
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,885
This is mine. Jodie, you're being a baby.
268
00:08:57,928 --> 00:09:00,104
Amy: Break it up!
Girls, girls, girls.
269
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,454
Hey, hey! Break it up.
Break it up. Stop with the sass!
270
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:05,545
Both of you are in a time-out.
271
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,155
Oh, my God.
272
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,679
If Henry heard me right now,
he'd be so turned on.Mm.
273
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,202
That was so maternal.
274
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:16,338
No, we have to show
the ugly scalloped handle
275
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,601
of the serving spoon, or we're
gonna lose our sponsors.
276
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,255
Donna. Donna.
277
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:23,040
Do you have to file your nails
soclose to the phone?
278
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:26,391
Oh, also, we are
$400 over budget
279
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:27,828
on the summer salad show.
280
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,699
They're not even actually
eatingthe lettuce.
281
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:30,874
You know what?
New lettuce is just --
282
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,572
It's a luxury
we can't afford, Donna.
283
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:34,095
Sorry.
I'm gonna be a little while.
284
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,575
No, no, no. Do your thing.
285
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,272
I'm just gonna turn
the light off.
286
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,668
Are you kidding me?
287
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:42,973
Henry, wake up. I'm not asleep.
288
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,453
I just put my head down
on the pillow.
289
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,150
I can't believe you right now.
290
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,500
I am a working woman.
I am a boss.
291
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:49,763
And somehow that's just --
292
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,373
That's just not attractive
to you anymore?
293
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,854
I mean, I-I'm just some
disgusting career pig
294
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,072
you have to sleep next to?
295
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,508
What are you doing?
P-Please stop.
296
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,989
I just -- I just
want to go to sleep.
297
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,338
Oh, my God. Oh, no.
298
00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:02,689
Henry, are you not attracted
to the old Amy?
299
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,779
Did you --
Did you ever love me? What?
300
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,607
If I were sitting here,
just signing permission slips
301
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,392
or baking an apple pie,
you'd be all over me.
302
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,785
If you were baking an apple pie
in here,
303
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,787
I'd have a lot
of electrical questions.
304
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,180
Why can't you just admit
that you were secretly
305
00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:17,834
waiting for me
to turn into someone I'm not
306
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,357
so you could
fall in love with me?
307
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,664
Because I'll tell you what --
The way you look at me now,
308
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,232
you should see
your eyes light up.
309
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,973
It's disgusting.
310
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,844
Honey, I'm not waiting for you
to become anyone else.
311
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:29,629
I love the old Amy.
312
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:33,110
That's why I married her
and... all of that.
313
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,329
Oh.
314
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,725
No! Then why don't you want
to have sex with me?
315
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:39,987
I'm not in the mood for sex
316
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,989
'cause I had to
fire a guy today.
317
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:47,298
Wh-- Oh.
318
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,735
Hang on a second.
319
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,824
What do you mean?
I didn't know you fire people.
320
00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:52,782
You fire people? Yeah.
321
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,131
It's not something
you brag about.
322
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,003
No, yeah, no, no.
No, it actually is.
323
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,831
I mean, you could potentially
just, like,
324
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,528
ruin someone's life.
325
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:00,877
And that's good?
326
00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:02,574
I did not know that
you had this side to you.
327
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,228
This is like, so...
328
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,317
This is so manly.
This is so powerful.
329
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,581
Tell me -- Tell me everything.
330
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,149
Well, I-I fire people
all the time.
331
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,890
How does that work?
Like, what goes down?
332
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,457
Do you, like, call them into
your office and you're like,
333
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,850
"Hey, sit down,"
334
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,852
or do you just, like,
slam your fist down on the table
335
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,331
and you're like, "Get out"?
336
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,550
Um, I -- both.
337
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,508
Mm! Mm!
338
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,032
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
339
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,164
So you don't like the old Henry?
340
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,689
You, uh -- You want a tough guy
who fires people.
341
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,342
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
342
00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:32,866
I also cut people's
vacation days.
343
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,650
Oh, my God. Yes, you do!
344
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:35,999
And I denied a guy's
workman's comp.
345
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:39,350
He's a single dad. Oh, my God!
346
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,005
Should we hang up with Donna?
347
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,877
Donna, you still
with us, honey? Mm.
348
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:51,319
Oh. Wait.
349
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,712
I need this.
350
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:53,974
I can't. I need it.
351
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,410
You know, this happened earlier
with a guy
352
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:56,628
and a bottle of whiskey?
353
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:57,760
It was a little darker.
354
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,196
I really need this gift card
355
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,937
so I can go to Jessicrafts,
buy some glue guns,
356
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,113
wait for the shift change,
and return them for cash.
357
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,028
Why do you need cash so bad?
358
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,770
Things. Ah, boyfriend things.
359
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,076
Don't care for the judgement.
360
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,773
Yes, that's part of it.
361
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,383
I can't.
362
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,081
Dan's starting to ask questions.
363
00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,691
Like, he doesn't think
the freezer has
364
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,084
$200 worth of meat in it, so...
365
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,868
I'm gonna have to
find another way.
366
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,740
You know, everything about you is
the first 20 minutes of a "Dateline."
367
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,959
Well, at least I'm not pimping
out my toes to strangers.
368
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:25,092
Oh, that reminds me.
369
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:27,790
Tell me what you think.
370
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:31,228
Now, should I get
heavy cotton or suede
371
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,752
for my new Carol Convertible?
372
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:35,450
Suede? Who are you?
373
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,887
I am making a pretty penny
off all these foot freaks,
374
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:40,281
especially this big spender
Ari 13.
375
00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:42,239
You're making enough money
off of this site
376
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,894
to order a couch
in a premium material?
377
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,767
Mm-hmm.
And matching barrel chairs!
378
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,420
I love barrel chairs!
379
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:51,074
I know!
I'm getting them in linen.
380
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,467
Linen?! Mm-hmm.
381
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,948
That's not even
in the same catalog! Mnh-mnh.
382
00:12:56,297 --> 00:13:06,176
♪♪
383
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,011
Mom!
384
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:17,797
Were you taking my money?
385
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,233
No!
386
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,061
But I was gonna
teach you a lesson
387
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:24,542
about leaving your bag out where
anyonecould steal from you.
388
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:25,848
I'm not upset.
389
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:28,459
I'm just deeply disappointed.
390
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:37,468
♪♪
391
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,824
Sarah, I need money, so...
392
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,435
how do I set up
an OnlyThrills page?
393
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,741
And don't make fun of me.
I'm a tragic character.
394
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,271
Check it out.
395
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,228
Wow!
396
00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,664
Is this for your foot video?
397
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,362
For ourfoot video.
398
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,059
I did a little bit of research,
399
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,539
and I discovered that
girl-on-girl foot-on-foot videos
400
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:05,975
make twice the money.
401
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,977
Like, three linen
barrel chairs' worth.
402
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,327
Really? Yes! Oh,
and I also discovered
403
00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:13,591
that guys have a real thing
for feet smushing fruit.
404
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,898
Hmm. So if we can get the bananas
to squish up
405
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,161
through our toes, jackpot.
406
00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:19,989
Got it. Well, let's do it.
407
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,208
Yeah? Okay.
408
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,210
Jodie, you're a genius.
Alrighty.
409
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,559
After you. Thank you.
410
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:28,171
Okay, now, every photoshoot
needs music.
411
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:31,087
I saw it on TV.Okay. Okay!
412
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,784
Nope. No. No.
413
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,090
What?
414
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,744
Unh-unh. Jodie! Well, I was thinking --
415
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,050
Yeah?
416
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,878
Your feet are fugly.
I never noticed this before.
417
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,009
This is crazy.
418
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:42,098
What? They're not!
419
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:45,014
Well, I mean, they are,
but I-I don't want to --
420
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,887
I don't want to scare away
my biggest paying fan, Ari 13.
421
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,192
And mama needs a bar cart,
422
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:50,933
and -- and your toes are bubbly.
423
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:54,197
Jodie!
424
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:55,372
It's nothing to cry over.
425
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,026
Just -- Just don't wear sandals.
426
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,691
Hey.
427
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,915
What's the emergency?
428
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:20,528
One of the guys on my crew has
been bullying the other workers,
429
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,226
so... I'm gonna
have to fire him.
430
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,925
You brought me here to --Watch.
431
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,056
Okay.
432
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,626
So...
433
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,025
That's right, baby.
I know your kink.
434
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,636
Oh, my God.
I'm so turned on right now.
435
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,072
Wait, wait, wait,
though. Wait. What?
436
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:45,292
I feel -- I kind of feel bad
for this guy.
437
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,771
No, don't. He's a bully.
438
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,512
Yeah, but I mean,
aren't we all bullies deep down?
439
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:49,949
He drives slow in the fast lane.
440
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,038
Ah, yeah. I'm back on board.
441
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,956
Randy: Hey, Henry.
You wanted to see me?
442
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,392
Uh, yeah. Enjoy.
443
00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,654
Okay, okay.
444
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:02,962
Have a seat, Randy.
445
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,485
We got a problem.
446
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,054
Your coworkers have been
complaining
447
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:11,318
about how you're treating
them with disrespect.
448
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:14,669
I won't have it. What?
449
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,279
That's right.
450
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,759
You're fired.Oh.
451
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,891
You can't do that to me.
452
00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,241
Get off your high horse, Henry.
453
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,112
Like you've never
pushed anyone around before?
454
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,332
Oh, I have.
In fact, I'm doing it right now.
455
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,464
Mmm. Goodbye, Randy.
456
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,989
Grab your lunchbox and get
the hell out of here.
457
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,339
Oh.Unbelievable.
458
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,169
Mm.You ruined my life!
459
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,869
Oh, that's so hot.
460
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,265
Ah!
461
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,570
So what are you doing
this afternoon?
462
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,050
Well, I'm gonna take the kids
to the park
463
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,486
and then to a --
A play-gym place,
464
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,619
and then, um, probably go get
some ice cream after.
465
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,013
My God. Tell me how you don't
go through red lights
466
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,666
with them in the car,
but talk fast.
467
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,712
I also keep Wet Wipes
in the center console now. Oh, my God.
468
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:03,283
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, come on.
469
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,806
What if this whole mother thing
doesn't stick?
470
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,416
Like, what if I wake up one day
and I decide
471
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:07,852
I want to go back to the way
I was before Col died?
472
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,681
Before I became a, like,
an actual hands-on mother?
473
00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:12,683
In the afternoons. In the afternoons.
474
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,295
Then you're disgusted by me?
475
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:18,994
Babe, no matter what happens,
we can always role play.
476
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,169
Mm.
477
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,649
Now get out of here.
I have work to do.
478
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:22,824
You're so bossy.
479
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,608
You better be baking
an apple pie in bed
480
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:25,653
when I get home tonight.
481
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,698
Or else what? Or else you're fired.
482
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:34,618
I'm a loser.
483
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:37,404
I buy drinks with
craft store cards
484
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,841
and I tried to steal money
from my own kid.
485
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:43,192
Well, in fairness,
she probably stole it from you.
486
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:46,413
Sarah, I am 39 and 3/4
years old,
487
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,546
and I have nothing of my own.
488
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:52,680
Mm. That isyour fault.
489
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:54,725
You gave away all your power.
490
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:55,944
You gave it all to Dan,
491
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,337
and now you're afraid
to ask for it back.
492
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,860
No, that's the point.
I don't want to ask.
493
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:01,080
I want something
that's just mine.
494
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:04,474
I don't know where to start.
495
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,694
And I've got ugly feet.
496
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:07,912
Well...
497
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:13,527
And you're so smart
and pretty and brave,
498
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:18,009
and you weren't at all afraid
to throw your entire life away
499
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:21,100
to go after what you want,
which is still very much TBD,
500
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,363
but you're on your way.
501
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,453
Why are you even friends
with me?
502
00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:29,456
Because you loaned me underwear
503
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,284
when I sat on lemonade
in first grade.
504
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,546
You peed in your pants.
505
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,722
But you told everyone
it was lemonade.
506
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:40,945
You are the kindest,
most supportive,
507
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,687
loyal friend
that I've ever known.
508
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,689
But I'm cheating on my husband.
509
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,257
Yes, you are.
510
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,433
But you are very loyal
to those who deserve it,
511
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:53,480
and, you know, we're both...
512
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,612
smushing rotten fruit
in a bathtub
513
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,440
at 2:00 on a Tuesday afternoon,
514
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:00,704
so I don't think either of us
is doing very well.
515
00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,187
Come on.
516
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,667
Get up.
517
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:10,279
Let's try to make a few bucks
on those fugly bubble toes.
518
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:11,672
Really?
519
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,935
You think, uh,
you think they can be pretty?
520
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:16,416
Uh, I've got filters.
521
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,593
You know, the big one would
look cute with cat ears on it,
522
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,464
like a -- like a chubby little,
523
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,901
square, ingrown alley cat.
524
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,555
Meow. Meow.
525
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:26,643
Meow.
526
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,167
Hey, d-- don't tag me in this.
527
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,820
This should be all you.
528
00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:31,518
There's a market for those feet.
529
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,997
There are some real
sickos out there.
530
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,524
How did it go? She buy it?
531
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,352
Hook, line, and sinker.
532
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,267
I appreciate you
doing that, pal. Yeah.
533
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,270
Didn't realize she was gonna
hit this right in there.
534
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,315
Yeah, I was surprised, too.
535
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,361
What? Uh...
536
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:51,668
The hole goes both ways.
537
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:54,323
Relax, all I saw
were ankles and -- and knees.
538
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,499
Or did I?
539
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,241
Okay, you're actually fired.
540
00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:05,291
♪♪
541
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,075
- Two lattes, please.
- Okay.
542
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:08,207
Uh, make it three.
543
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,034
Hi. You look pretty.
544
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,253
Oh, thanks.
545
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,646
You're never late for coffee.
What's up?
546
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,865
Well, Henry and I
worked out our stuff.
547
00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:17,216
You know, like,
we reallyworked it out.
548
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,695
Boffed.
549
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,436
It still doesn't sound right
when you say it, okay?
550
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,351
But guys, I found my kink, okay?
551
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:26,007
Turns out Henry is a man,
and I like it.
552
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,835
He is? Huh.
553
00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:31,099
Hey, this is on me.
554
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:32,448
I got this.
555
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:33,971
I may have only made $68
on OnlyThrills,
556
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:35,364
but it was enough money
for me to start
557
00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:36,539
my very own private bank account
558
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:37,888
in my own name
with my own money,
559
00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,063
because I am my own woman.
560
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,369
Good for you, Jodie.
561
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:41,849
Oh, you got the card
with the whales on it.
562
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,243
- Sounds a little judgy.
- Whales are great.
563
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:48,247
Oh, no! What's wrong?
564
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:51,598
Guys, it's Ari 13's dad!
565
00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:53,817
Turns out Ari 13
is literally 13,
566
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:56,080
and he was making it rain
with his bar mitzvah money,
567
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:57,343
and now they want it back.
568
00:20:57,386 --> 00:20:59,301
- Ooh.
- Oh, boy. Oof.
569
00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:01,521
It was all dirty
bar mitzvah cash.
570
00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:04,306
Wait, are you going to
give it back?
571
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,742
I don't know.
Amy, what should I do?
572
00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:08,092
Oh, hell no. Screw that kid.
573
00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,746
Ah! Do you hear that?
574
00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,444
I'm not really a mother
after all.
575
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,707
I'm not that much
of a mother. Oh, congratulations.
576
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:14,751
Welcome back.
577
00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:17,058
- Ah!
- I knew you'd never change.
578
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,102
Phew.
41585
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