All language subtitles for Wagon Train S02E28 - The Vincent Eaglewood Story

Gol' darn leech,
that's what he is.

Just a bloodsucking leech.

He's not such a bad fella
once you get to know him.

Why don't you drink your coffee
before you get your bile all upset?

Six weeks now he's been
riding right along beside us

getting the full protection of this
train and not paying a gol' durn cent.

Why don't you ask him
to join up with us?

I did ask him.

I think I made it pretty
clear. He's gonna pay

his $40 just like
the rest of them did.

This is no charity
party I'm running.

You know what's the matter with
the major, don't you? No. What?

He's mad at that little Eaglewood
fella because he's too smart for him.

He's a schoolteacher.

Yeah, but there's no schools
in this part of the country.

I know that. He's heading for
San Francisco. Got a job teaching.

Him and me get along
just fine together.

The reason for that is,
we've both got

what it takes up here... brains.

What? Why, you grubby
old fleabag.

You've never been inside
a schoolroom in your life.

I've got what is known
as native intelligence.

Vincent Eaglewood
told me that himself.

Oh, why don't you stop?

Hey, fella. Come on out here.
I want some words with you.

Hello, there. Care to
join me in a cup of coffee?

No, I don't want any coffee.

I come over here to
tell you a few things.

You're not gonna tag along beside my
train any longer. You understand that?

Well, this is free American soil
and I'm an American citizen.

So though I hate to make
you unhappy, Major Adams,

I think I'll still tag along.

♪

Yeah. Most of the
wagons in your train

are in the same
condition, Major.

I'm afraid the good folks got
hoodwinked back in St. Joe.

Darn conniving
salespeople in the cities.

This ain't no way to put a
steel rim on a wagon wheel.

How long do you figure
it'll take to fix?

Well, you got 46 rims

hanging on by spit and wire.

By the time I set up
my forge, oh, I'd say

minimum three days. Oh, Lord.

That's working around the clock.

We have company coming.

Well, maybe he's coming
to pay that $40 he owes.

Hi there, boy.

Hello, Wooster.

You know the major, don't you?

This is Bill Hawks. Calvin
Bryngelson, our wheelwright.

This is Vincent
Eaglewood, my friend.

Did you finally
decide to pay up?

No. I came to say goodbye. I don't
like the route you're following, Major.

You don't like the what?

The route. Route. Trail.

So I guess this is
where we part company.

Just what is it you don't
like about my route?

Oh, nothing.

I'm just taking the wash trail
around the hills up there.

It comes out the same place.

Only difference is, you get
there a day later than we do.

Yes, I know, but by taking

the long route around,
I won't run into the Indians.

What Indians?

Navajos.

You mean you haven't
noticed all the signs?

Yesterday the notched trees
and day before the camp leavings?

Oh, I thought it was obvious.
It's an unusual tribe.

I believe they're Wapato
descendants, not pure Navajos.

Listen, boy, I've been
over this trail four times,

and I'm telling you that there's
no Indians up this far north.

The Navajos are
200 miles south of here.

Supposedly, yes.

Nevertheless, there's definitely
an Indian tribe up ahead.

They usually head for the high
terrain. Plenty of wood for fires.

And judging from the greenery,
I'd say there's a water freshet

by that plateau high up there.

You've been out west
before, huh?

No. Well, I have.

And I'm telling you there's
no Indians up this far north.

Oh, yes, there are.

Oh, no, they're not.

Have it your way.

Hey, Flint's coming in.

Hello, Major,
Bill. Hello, Flint.

Hi, Cal. Not going through
the hills this trip, Major.

You've got to take the long
way around through the dry wash.

Who says so?

The Navajo. They've
moved into the hills up there.

By the size of the camp,
they're gonna be there for a while.

What's the matter?
Nothin'. Nothin' at all!

What'd I tell ya... Oh, shut up!

They look friendly
or don't they?

No, they jumped
a couple of miners,

and the way they treated
them, I wouldn't call it friendly.

ADAMS: Did you scout
the wash trail? Yeah.

How is it?

It's rocky here and
there, but no fallen timber.

You'll be able to
get through all right.

Well, I suppose we
might as well hole up here

for a few days till we
get these wheels fixed.

Plenty of good timber
around here for firewood. Bill,

you'd better get the
wagons circled up. All right.

Cal, get your forge out.
Get it set up.

I'll get a work detail going
to cut some wood for you.

Good, Major.

I, uh, I don't
believe we've met.

Vincent Eaglewood. McCullough.

You gonna join up
with the train?

Not unless he comes up
with $40, he's not.

Say, an idea just
occurred to me.

You have children on
your wagon train, don't you?

Of course we have.
Thirty-ought of 'em. Why?

I'll make a deal with you.

I have a bachelor of science
degree from Trinity College.

I'll run a school for those children
in exchange for my passage.

Every time you make a stop, I'll
set up my schoolroom. How about it?

I don't make deals.

Say, maybe the kids' folks would
like to have a teacher for them.

Long months ahead. Did
anybody ask you anything?

No. Well, then, shut up.

It's none of my business
either, Major, but, uh,

I think this gentleman's
got quite an idea.

You could look at it this way...

You'd be the first
wagon master in history

that would have a traveling school
going right along with the train.

Might be pretty good next fall.

Well, by golly,

you might have
something there at that.

Word gets back to St. Joe,
it might cause quite a stir.

All right. Young fella,
you got yourself a job.

Pull that funny-looking outfit into
line and get to work on them kids.

Much obliged. I'm sure
neither one of us

will regret the bargain.

I'm mighty proud of you, Major.

By gosh, I'm proud of the
way you handled yourself.

Is that so? Yeah.

Pitting your brains against his
in a deal like that.

I'd have bet my life that boy
was gonna join this wagon train,

but I'd also bet that you was
gonna wind up paying him $40.

Get up there on your
wagon where you belong!

Yes, sir.

What the devil are you grinning
about? You're as bad as he is.

Hey, Cal. You'd better
take it easy there, man.

You're liable to bust an artery
going at it the way you are.

You want 'em finished, don't ya?

Well, sure, but not at the
expense of you having a stroke.

That is, unless you know
where there's another wheelwright

between here and Sacramento.

Hah! Look at this.

Bolts.

There's your modern ways for ya.

People just don't take no
pride in their work no more.

Bolting an iron wheel instead of
sweatin' 'em on like they should've.

No wonder half of your
wagons is runnin' on wood.

Yeah, I know, Cal. I there
anything I can do to help?

Just keep the wood coming. We
burn it up as fast as they fetch it in.

We'll keep 'er comin'.

Flint, about these three days we're
gonna be holed up, what are your plans?

I thought I'd get some hot
food, spend the night here,

and then hit the trail
in the morning...

That is, if it meets with
the major's approval.

It's good enough.

Hey, Mr. Anderson,
you look kind of bushed.

Maybe you'd better let
me spell you for a while.

You've got more important
things to consider, Major.

No need you doing
a laboring man's work.

Hello, Major.
Hello, Miss Ericka.

I see you've got the
ladies working now, huh?

Yes, with what little we can do.

Father and Mr. Nielson
honed up this ax for you.

You hone a razor, Ericka,
not a broad ax.

Well, whatever. Take a husband.

You'll soon learn about honing his
razor for him. Right, Mr. Hennepin?

No time for nonsense like
that, son. We've got work to do.

Ericka, get this ax
sharpened for me.

Let Ben work. Every man
in camp's going full pitch.

Every man except one, that
is. I never seen him lift a finger.

Big help he is.
Fine figure of a man.

Probably better off there.

Spindly fella like him
couldn't lift no ax anyway.

Well, I don't know, Ben.

Takes all kinds to make a world.

I never seen one
like that before.

You seen all the gimcracks
he got on that wagon of his?

Microscopes and all kinds
of funny bottles and books.

He's a smart young fella.

Work he's doing is just as
important as ours, I figure.

Why, Major, I do believe
you're proud of him.

I didn't say I was proud of him.

What I meant was that he's good for those
kids. Besides, he keeps them out of our hair.

I think it's wonderful.

And the children love him and he
certainly keeps their minds busy.

I never went to school
a day in my life.

Well, you're very smart,

standing around with
your ax in your hands.

But you'll notice that
the one that isn't sweating

is working with his head!

All right, class,

who is the president
of the Union?

Mr. Wooster?

I would like to answer
that, Mr. Eaglewood.

President Jack...

- President Johnson.
- That's it.

Well, I'll give partial credit
for that. He was president.

Anyone else? Elwood?

Ulysses S. Grant.

Yes. And the vice president?

Schuyler Colfax.

Good.

All right. How many states
are there in the Union?

Oma Jean?

Thirty-seven.

Very good.

Now I have good news for you.

I have located a patch of ripe wild
sugar beets down in that meadow,

and tomorrow, for everyone
who knows his homework,

we'll make a field expedition,

and then we'll cook the beets
and make some taffy.

I want to go! I want to go!

Can I go?

Elwood, Elwood,

whenever we ask a favor

or ask someone to respond to us,

what is the magic
word? "Please"?

Now state the question
again, please.

May I go, please, Mr. Eaglewood?

That's better.

Yes, of course you may go,
if you know your homework.

All right, class, now we'll
have an hour of physics.

Today we're going to demonstrate

an experiment
in the combustibles.

Elwood, what are the
combustibles we're using?

Sulfur and phosphorous.

Very good. Now, what
I have in my hand here

is known as a Lucifer.

In times to come, this will
replace the flint for making fire.

The first one was made in 1827

by a druggist in England
named John Walker.

He made them from a compound

of chlorate of potash and
sugar mixed with gum arabic

and a touch of red
phosphorous, which I have here.

Now, we dip the sticks

into the mixture,

let it harden,

and... we have a Lucifer.

Or, as it is also
called, a locofocos.

Now, we have only
to scratch this Lucifer

on a rough surface, and...

All right, class, everybody
up to the work table.

Each of you take a beaker,
mix up a compound,

and make your own Lucifers...
surprise your mothers and fathers.

Donald, will you take these
materials to the work table?

Hello, Miss Ericka.

Hello, Mr. Eaglewood.

That was just fascinating.

I'd never known before
how matches were made.

Oh, it's just a simple
chemical trick.

But these graphic experiments
appeal to the children.

Makes them more interested
in the thought process.

Have you, uh, read
all of those books?

Oh, yes, and more.

The wagon was
overloaded as it was.

I had to leave hundreds
of books back in the East.

Oh.

I don't mean to pry,
Mr. Eaglewood,

but why are you going out West?

I accepted a job teaching in a
small college in San Francisco.

Oh, I think that's wonderful.

I admire men who
use their heads.

The only men I know
are only interested

in peddling merchandise
or working with their hands.

Well, we couldn't teach
children in schoolrooms

unless somebody first built the
schools and did the printing, you know.

I suppose that's right.

You know, I've been to
school. I know how to read.

Do you enjoy it? Oh, yes.

Do you like poetry? Well, I... I
don't know. I've never read any.

There's some I brought with me...

Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
Samuel Coleridge and others.

Would you like me to
teach you about poetry?

Oh, yes, I would, very much.

Mr. Eaglewood, mine's finished.

Yes, Elwood,
I'll be right there.

Uh, tonight, perhaps,
after dinner?

Yes. Thank you.

I'd like that.

Goodbye.

"Remember me when
I am gone away,

gone far away
into the silent land,

when you can no more
hold me by the hand

nor I, half-turned to go

yet turning stay.

Remember me when
no more day by day

you tell me of our future
that you planned.

Better by far you
should forget and smile

"than that you should
remember and be sad."

Oh, that's lovely.

I'm sure a woman wrote that.

Yes. Her name was
Christina Georgina Rossetti.

She lives in England.

What are you doing with
a book? You can't read.

I'm looking at the pictures,
if you don't mind, Major, sir.

I suppose Mr. Eaglewood gave you
that. Didn't you tell him you can't read?

They will always scoff
at the educated.

All right, Charlie,
you keep on getting educated.

Flint, when you
came on those Indians,

was there a war spear
in evidence?

Yeah, right in front of
the chief. Pointed down?

Yeah. It was in the ground.

That's fine.

Well, they haven't
spotted us yet, anyway.

Two more days and two
more nights in this place.

We'll keep our fingers crossed, and we
might have some luck and get out of here.

Here Here you Here you go. Here
you go. Filled Here you go. Filled it

Here you go. Filled it with
Here you go. Filled it with water.

Here you go. Filled
it with water. Thanks,

Here you go. Filled it
with water. Thanks, Bill.

The way this work's been going, I figure we
ought to be on the move by noon tomorrow.

Takes us a whole extra day
to get around those hills.

That'll put us down
in the flats in 48 hours.

I'll meet you at that creek crossing in
the evening of the third day, all right?

I'm not sure I feel right about
leaving you here with Indians around.

We'll be all right.

I'm gonna give Wooster and Hawks
four men for an extra guard detail.

We'll take care of it all right.

We'll ring the whole area.

Take care of yourself.
Meet you on the third day.

Bill, pick your men,
get your guard set.

All right. Come on, Charlie.

All right, Shirley.

I think that's enough
sugar beets now.

You girls and boys come up here

and watch how this is done.

All right. The first batch
of taffy seems cool enough.

The first team of taffy
pullers will consist of

Betsy, Diane, George and Donald.

Are your hands all
greased? ALL: Yes.

All right. Donald and I will now
demonstrate how to pull taffy.

Take this end here.
Hold tight, now.

We pull and bring it together.

Then we pull and
bring it together.

All right. Diane, you
team up with Donald,

and George, team up with Betsy.

And start pulling.

The rest of you children, while
we're waiting for your taffy to cool,

we'll have a class on bird lore.

Just follow me, please.

Charlie, you take
this spot here.

Right. I'll spread
the rest down the line.

That ain't no bird.

They were human birds
talking to each other.

I'm surrounded by 'em.

What am I doing
out here by myself?

Well,

only thing to do is
make a run, I guess.

Bill! Hawks! Hawks! Bill! Bill!

Run for your lives! There
must be a million of 'em!

Whoa! Wait a minute!
Hold up a minute!

Do they look like
Indians to you?

That's my friend Vince.
You and your friends.

Elwood, what are you
doing out here?

We were just studying bird
lore with Mr. Eaglewood.

Our bird lore class. We just
spotted a yellow-bellied sand thrush

and we were calling to him.
Why? Is anything wrong?

Eaglewood, don't you know

that you shouldn't have these
kids this far from the train?

This is Indian country. Gather them
up and get them back to the wagons.

Elwood, you come along, now.

All right, children.

I wish you'd told me about
that class. I'd have loved to join.

And you get back too!
Wouldn't we, Bill? Or would we?

Come on, kids. Hurry up.

Go on.

We didn't know.

You can't blame us for carrying
on our normal schoolwork.

Pasty, white-faced city man
almost got the children shot.

There's your
book-learnin' for ya.

All right, all right.

Let's just assume
that you didn't know

that Indians use bird
calls to signal each other.

Let's leave it this way.

There'll be no more
classes in bird lore.

Do you understand
that? Yes, sir.

Just what in tarnation
is all this about?

They've been fighting
over the candy.

The schoolteacher showed
'em how to make taffy today.

Listen, Mr. Teacher,

are you deliberately trying to
wreck this whole wagon train?

I never had this trouble before,
and I want it stopped, understand?

But I... I don't care
about your excuses.

Just do me one favor, will ya?

Keep those kids and
yourself out of my hair.

We've got work to do!

Come on. Get back
to your wagons.

I'll have to boil water,
get this stuff off you.

You're a misfit, Eaglewood.

Why don't you pull out
and leave us in peace?

Ben Denike,

you just hush up and
go about your business!

Ow! What's eating you, kid?

Don't you ever talk to
Mr. Eaglewood that way!

Why...

Don't you let that old walrus
get under your skin, Vince.

I know him.
He's mostly all steam.

"Work," he said.

Well, I guess I haven't contributed
much in the way of helping.

That's not true, Vincent.

Children need just as
much help as adults do.

'Course they do. You just keep
on doin' what you been doin'.

Next week I was going to
read them Ivanhoe.

I had such plans.

Oh, Vincent, there's
no reason at all

for you to change
your plans now.

No, the major's right.

They need every
available man for work.

I'll just close up the school

and be what help I can.

Vincent, you must
do no such thing.

You'd break them children's
heart if you done that.

Of course you would.

They do seem to enjoy it.

There ain't a mother's son
of us on this wagon train

that can't take one of them
stupid sticks and chop down a tree.

Now, I say, every man
for his own calling.

And yours is teaching,
not chopping down trees.

Why, that's for
old buzzards like me.

Vince, they love your classes

and they love you.

Did you know that my
brother Elwood is just sure

that you hung the stars
and the moon in the sky?

He is?

Imagine that.

Here comes your talk-talk party.

He's trying to tell me
that his people live

over those two sets of
hills on the other side.

He wants to know if we're
going through his people's land.

All we want to do is pass
through there. Yeah, I know.

Big sun. Far. West.

He says his people
are very poor.

He says other white
man come here and...

give clothes and supplies. Food?

Uh-huh. That's what it is.

He wants to be paid off for
us to pass through his land.

Maybe they'll settle for some
of that bear meat of ours.

We've got more sides
than we'll ever use. Heh.

Heh.

Tobacco.

Hatchet. Shovel.

That's pretty plain.

He wants rifles for all his
people and ammunition.

All right, boy.

No. No more powwow.

Bill, double the
sentries from now on.

Right.

Does he always have
to do that by hand?

Of course he does.
How else would he do it?

Well, if I showed you
a way to replace this man

that would still give you a continued
supply of forced air, would that help you?

You bet it would.
Well, may we try?

Of course. Just keep
out of our way.

Well, on behalf of the children,

I want to thank you
for this opportunity.

Don't mention it.

Here's another one!

Whew! How you doing, Cal?

Well, another 30 hours, Major.

We ought to roll out of here by noon
tomorrow if things keep going good.

Well, you keep
'em going. You bet.

Hello, Major Adams.

Hello.

We all love you, Mr. Eaglewood.

You do?

That's very nice to hear.

Let me tell you all something.

When you grow up, some of you
will become wives and mothers,

some will become doctors,
lawyers, businessmen,

but remember this...

Of all the things you'll do
or hope to do,

none is as great
as the gift of love

from one human being to another.

Will you remember that?

ALL: Yes.

All right. Attention, everybody.

I have something
important to tell you.

Starting today, we will apply

all the things we've been learning
to help Major Adams in his tasks.

We are social beings,
and as such,

we will join in the joint social
effort to help the wagon train.

I've taught you about physics
and specific gravity.

We will apply that
knowledge to rig up

a new bellows for
Mr. Bryngelson's forge.

I've taught you about
the combustibles,

which woods burn
hotter and longer.

We will use that knowledge

to show the wood-choppers
which trees to select.

I will teach you how
the Malayan natives

construct ingenious
detection devices

to warn them of
approaching enemies,

but that is later.

To build a Roman-style

automatic bellows
for Mr. Bryngelson.

Follow me, class.

If I wasn't looking right
at it, I'd never believe it.

It was first devised
during the reign

of Emperor Claudius in Rome.

A mathematician named
Felicitus Agrarius invented it.

Oddly enough, for his
reward he was sent into exile

on the island of Crete.

But do not think this man was never
heard of again, for two years later,

he had invented the
famous snag-proof loom,

which was so to glorify
the homes of ancient Crete.

Class, we have harnessed nature

by utilizing one of gravity.

We will proceed with our
next project. Follow me.

Now, there goes
a man with brains.

Huh? Brains.

Yes, sir.

In the Malayan jungles,
wild beasts

and other bands
of savage natives

are a constant menace
to the peace-loving tribes.

All right, who can tell us where
the Malayan jungles are situated?

Elwood? In Malaya.

Yes.

Well, ask a foolish question,

you get a foolish
answer, I suppose.

However, we will go
into that more fully

in our geography class
on Friday.

Now onto the business at hand.

To save Major Adams
the trouble and bother

of sending out guards
to watch for Indians,

we will construct some ingenious

Malayan detection devices.

This appears to be
a likely point of entry.

Uh, just stand back, please.

All right. You boys lend
a hand with this rope.

All right, class,
on to our next project.

Men, pick up
your tools over here.

And we'll dig
our pit right here.

All right, class.

Class, on to our next project.

What types of trees are the
men cutting out in the wood?

Oma Jean? Oak and greasewood.

Correct. And what
do we have here?

A pine tree.

Very good. Pitch pine.

The pitch pine is one
of the slow combustibles,

giving off a slow,
steady burning flame

that lasts twice as long
as oak or greasewood.

So we'll cut this
down, chop it up,

and illustrate to Major Adams
that he can get twice as much fire

burning twice as long
using the pitch pine.

Now, which way do we
want the tree to fall? Elwood?

Away from the wagons. That way.

Very good. So we make the cut

on the side we want
the tree to fall.

Stand back, please.

By golly, that contraption
really works, don't it?

You bet it does. Just
like a Swiss watch, Major.

Saves us a man, and even
the women and kids can work it.

Maybe I underestimated
that little fella.

Yeah, you know, that
schoolteacher's got brains.

Got brains? You know, brains.

Brains.

How are you, Vince, old
buddy boy? Hello, Wooster.

What are you doing
here? Oma Jean.

It's called the Swedish
Tree Fellers' Precision Slice

Enables exact placement
of where it's to fall.

No.

You see that mark I put on
the ground out there? Yeah.

It will fall right
exactly there.

All it needs is a little touch.

You're a genius, Vince,
old boy... a real, true genius.

Just a little touch, huh?
Oh, no! No! Oh, no!

Oh, my goodness!
WOOSTER: Timber!

Hey, look out! That
tree! Get out of there!

Get out of there, everybody!

Aah!

The major. Oh!

What lame brain...

idiot did this?

Step out and face me!

You little pin-head!

Bring me that ax!
Come over here!

Oh, Major, I always try
to teach the children

to say "please" whenever
they ask for something.

I'll "please" you!

Vince, if you knew
the major like I do,

now's the time to hide out
till he cools off.

Come on, come on!

It always worked
for the Malayans.

I demand to see Major Adams.

You don't demand
nothing, mister.

You just climb up
on that seat and drive.

Come on, move. You're getting
off easy, the trouble you've caused.

What's going on here?

Ericka, you just
stay out of this.

Women got no business
in these matters.

Ben Denike, who do
you think you are?

Vincent, you're not gonna
let them bully you, are you?

Yes.

You just wait until Major Adams
hears about this! Now, Ericka...

Now, Major Adams is
gonna hear all about this

just as soon as this fella's
on his way out of here.

Come on.

Now, get along, schoolteacher.

Oh!

You You listen You
listen to You listen to me,

You listen to me, Ben

You listen to me, Ben Denike.

I run this outfit.
I give the orders.

Is there any doubt
in your mind about that?

No, sir, but I don't understand,
after what he done to you.

That's between him and me.

You get a few more years
under that hat of yours,

you'll understand that no man

lets a personal grudge
endanger another man's life,

and that's exactly
what you've done.

You sent that boy out there

into Indian territory
all by himself,

and I'm ashamed of you.

I'm ashamed of all of you.

Let me tell you one thing.

The next time I catch any of you

acting together as a mob,

I'm gonna kick you
off of this train.

Every single, solitary
man that's involved.

Do I make myself clear?

Major, some of
the children are gone.

What? What kind of talk is that?

You tell the major. Go on, before
I spank the daylights out of you.

You tell him where
the children went.

We wanted to bring
Mr. Englewood back, that's all.

Tell him. They went to get him.

Where? I don't know.

Bill,

get our boys together.

Get extra ones too. Right.

Stay inside this circle.

We'll leave extra guards.
You'll be all right.

We'll get those kids
back. Don't worry.

We figured those kids would've
caught up with Eaglewood

soon after he left camp.

Knowing the direction
he took off in,

a shortcut to intercept him
seemed in order,

but we reckoned
without the Navajo.

I knew that the minute
we topped that rise

and saw his wagon with no kids
running around it.

They had to be over the hill,
beyond Eaglewood's trail,

in the Indian camp.

His book-learning was good
for some things, sure,

but it didn't tell him that he was
heading right into the jaws of the enemy.

The lookouts they'd posted
told me that.

Whoa!

Ho, there! Ho!

Eaglewood.

Mr. Eaglewood, I want you to

turn around and go back
to the wagon train.

I've got to apologize
to you for what happened.

I'm sorry, but I didn't
know anything about it.

I won't return
unless they apologize.

There's no time for
that nonsense now.

I'm afraid the Navajos have got a bunch
of our kids. We're going after them now.

My children? But how could they?

Well, seems like they
went out to bring you back.

Probably got lost, and the Navajos
picked them up. I want to help.

I don't suppose you know how
to use a gun, do you?

Oh, yes. I was captain of the
rifle team at Trinity College.

I won two medals. You
want to see? No, never mind.

Bill, give me your rifle.

He'd be better with us
than he would be

out here wandering
around by hisself.

Major, there'll be men
hurt in this, won't there?

Most likely, yes.

What I'm trying to
say, Major, is...

it was my fault the
children were captured.

They went out looking for me.

I feel I should get them back,

or at least have a try at it,

without endangering
all your lives.

If you've got any idea how to
do it, I'm sure willing to listen.

Well, I don't know how exactly,

but I feel I should go in
and have a talk with them.

Can you use sign language?

No, but I majored in tribal
languages at Trinity College.

I speak the Wapato tongue
fairly well.

Why the devil
didn't you tell us so

when I was having
that palaver with them?

You never asked me.

Uh, say, I'd rather
not use this.

I'll just use my head.

The way to do it, Major, if
you don't mind my saying so,

is to hit 'em hard
with every gun we got.

One man can't pull it off.

Well, what is there to lose?

Just give me half an
hour to talk with them.

There's always time
to resort to this

if I don't come back.

What they do with white
men is not very pretty.

I know. They bury them alive.

And you still want to go in?

Yes, I do.

All right. I'll give you
just exactly 30 minutes,

and if you're not back here by
then, we're coming in after you.

Please do.

It's Mr. Englewood!

Hello, children. I've
come to take you home.

Don't worry. I just have to
talk to the chief for a moment.

That's Iroquois.

If there's anything you're not,
it's certainly Iroquois, isn't it?

Good morning to each
and every one of you.

May your sun god
be kind to all of us.

You are the chief, sir? Ha.

"Ha"? Oh, yes,
"ha." I greet you.

Fine band of men.

Handsome women. Good
people. Friendly people.

Yes, friendly.

Kay-ee chanoak.

Chanoak?

Oh, rifles. Oh, no.

I've brought gifts
better than rifles.

Hey, now, stop that!

Those are my possessions,
and you can't be...

That'll teach you not to fool around
with other people's possessions.

This was a graduation gift
from my mother.

There's a lot of sentiment
attached to this,

and I'll thank you to
keep your hands off.

Now, let me show you
some fascinating things.

Say, I come in peace.
That's no way to act.

Why can't you be
gracious and hospitable?

What's wrong with you?
A fine way to act.

That shows very bad
training as children.

Put away those things. Kato-ke!

Now, sir, allow me to display

the presents
I've brought for you.

Not everybody can
work one of those.

Takes a magic man
like me, you see?

This is for you, Chief.
It's all yours.

But wait. I have other things.

Here's a miracle for you.
Genuine Swiss miracle.

What do you make of that, Chief?

No, no, no, no.

You're not getting
the rhythm. Here.

A magic glass.

It takes little things
and makes them very big.

Big. Large. Very big.

Watch.

Look at my eye.

There's a miracle
for you. But wait.

You haven't seen anything yet.

I will now demonstrate
my affinity

with your sun up there.

Look at this, Chief.
Red phosphorous

dug from the earth and sulfur.

Like the smell?

Now, the magic glass.

You see the sun
up there? The sun?

Sun in sky?

I bring the sun

down to earth here
at my bidding.

Watch.

Stand back, everybody.

Any minute now.

You'd better stand back.

Darn fool idea anyhow.

I ought to have my head
examined for letting him go in there.

Well, the time's up.
Come on, let's go.

Ho!

Well, what in the devil?

What could I do?
They made me a white god.

Well, I'll be. I don't know.

Mr. Eaglewood, would you get
ready to pull into line, please?

"Please"? My, aren't we
getting polite?

Oh, button up your lip
and get out of here.

Wagons, ho!

Hyah, horse!

Move your points
on out, will ya?

Okay, let's go! Flaherty!

Pull up that third wagon! Come
on, bring those mules in there!

Hurry it up! Let's get movin'!

Come on! Ha!

♪