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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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You can go home, Mike.
I'll finish closing up.
3
00:00:07,995 --> 00:00:09,561
Fortunately, there's not much to do,
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00:00:09,648 --> 00:00:11,215
since there were barely
any customers tonight.
5
00:00:11,389 --> 00:00:12,564
PETE: Sure, things have slowed down
6
00:00:12,651 --> 00:00:14,262
a little since the restaurant opened.
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00:00:14,392 --> 00:00:16,264
And maybe they did get some bad press
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00:00:16,438 --> 00:00:19,441
from briefly becoming the Hudson
Valley's top Mafia hangout.
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00:00:19,615 --> 00:00:21,356
But on the bright side...
10
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[STAMMERS]
11
00:00:22,879 --> 00:00:24,359
Oh, no. Pete can't find a bright side.
12
00:00:24,533 --> 00:00:25,664
Hmm, this is bad.
13
00:00:25,795 --> 00:00:26,795
I don't get it.
14
00:00:26,796 --> 00:00:28,580
I'm serving great food.
15
00:00:28,711 --> 00:00:30,278
Meanwhile, Connor's place
is packed every night.
16
00:00:30,408 --> 00:00:33,237
They just did a write-up on
him in New York Magazine.
17
00:00:33,368 --> 00:00:35,892
Connor is this guy Jay
hates from culinary school.
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I bet he hired a publicist.
19
00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:40,591
- What a douche.
- Jay, you're a great chef.
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You just need to focus on you.
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As much as I hate to admit it,
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I agree with Samantha.
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The truth is, my own
life is a tragic tale
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about how an obsession with a nemesis
25
00:00:50,254 --> 00:00:52,213
can derail one's own promising career.
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I'm of course referring
to my infamous rivalry
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00:00:55,477 --> 00:00:56,957
with Alexander Hamilton.
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SAMANTHA: Can I be honest, Isaac?
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I've never really understood
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what Hamilton actually did to you.
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Weren't you just kind of jealous of him?
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I've never shared this with
you because I was embarrassed,
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but that man ruined my chance
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to become someone history remembers.
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'Tis a painful story to tell.
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But since it might help Jay,
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I'm willing to share it.
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Ooh. Dinner and a show.
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I like it.
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Buckle up.
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For tonight, I shall tell you the tale
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of why I hate Alexander Hamilton.
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♪ ♪
44
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The year is 1776.
45
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- It is?
- No, in the story.
46
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Oh.
47
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Our tale begins
48
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at a men's haberdashery,
49
00:01:41,175 --> 00:01:42,741
where I'd gone to pick up a ruffle,
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00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:45,440
an ornamental but
obligatory garment I needed
51
00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:48,704
for an important event I
was to attend that evening.
52
00:01:48,791 --> 00:01:50,445
Earlier in the week, I
had received an invitation
53
00:01:50,532 --> 00:01:53,317
from my mentor, John Jay,
to attend a dinner party
54
00:01:53,448 --> 00:01:55,189
at his Manhattan estate.
55
00:01:55,319 --> 00:01:58,801
But this was to be no regular soirée.
56
00:01:59,889 --> 00:02:01,847
- 'Scuse me.
- I'll be with you shortly.
57
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[GROANS SOFTLY] This infernal wait.
58
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Give me service or give me death.
59
00:02:05,503 --> 00:02:06,503
[BOTH LAUGH]
60
00:02:06,504 --> 00:02:08,550
Oh, my God.
61
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,378
Beatrice, look.
62
00:02:10,508 --> 00:02:11,814
It's Alexander Hamilton.
63
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We met at James Madison's Easter party
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00:02:13,337 --> 00:02:16,688
and had the most thrilling
exchange of ideas.
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00:02:16,775 --> 00:02:17,994
Alexander, hello!
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Yeah, I've-I've already been helped.
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Um... Oh, no, no, no, no, it's me.
68
00:02:21,998 --> 00:02:24,305
It's me. Isaac Higgintoot.
69
00:02:24,392 --> 00:02:27,047
We met at James Madison's Easter party.
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00:02:27,134 --> 00:02:29,745
Right. Of course!
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You were the talk of the event.
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00:02:32,231 --> 00:02:34,228
- Oh. Mm.
- Oh. Really?
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00:02:34,358 --> 00:02:36,578
Oh. Yes! Yes, you ate
that rotten pork pie
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00:02:36,708 --> 00:02:37,927
and yakked in his carriage.
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00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,929
[LAUGHS] He couldn't get the scent out.
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00:02:40,103 --> 00:02:41,757
It was a total write-off.
77
00:02:41,844 --> 00:02:45,239
Well, um, I will see
you at dinner tonight?
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00:02:45,369 --> 00:02:48,111
Oh. Yeah, I-I don't think so.
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00:02:48,242 --> 00:02:50,809
No, I'm-I'm going to John Jay's house
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00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:53,029
to discuss a-a very important matter.
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00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,987
- Yes. I will be there, too.
- Really?
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- [CHUCKLES]: Yeah.
- Oh, I...
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00:02:56,946 --> 00:02:59,949
I kind of assumed it
was an exclusive event.
84
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It is an exclusive event.
85
00:03:01,733 --> 00:03:03,561
Huh.
86
00:03:03,692 --> 00:03:06,738
You're sure you're not thinking
about Albert Jay's party?
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00:03:06,825 --> 00:03:09,350
I heard he's hosting a... chili dump.
88
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,829
Maybe... Is that... is that
89
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,744
- the party, maybe, you're attending?
- No.
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00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:16,313
John Jay's. To discuss the
Declaration of Independence.
91
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,315
Hmm. Well!
92
00:03:18,446 --> 00:03:19,969
Excellent! Ha!
93
00:03:20,056 --> 00:03:22,493
Well, you shall be the
voice of the common man.
94
00:03:22,624 --> 00:03:23,842
I'll see you there.
95
00:03:27,194 --> 00:03:29,413
Now, how can I help you?
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00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:31,850
Yes, Isaac Higgintoot,
picking up my shirt ruffle.
97
00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:33,417
Unfortunately, we're all out.
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00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:35,637
What? I reserved mine two weeks ago.
99
00:03:35,767 --> 00:03:37,421
Well, it's not here.
100
00:03:37,552 --> 00:03:39,249
It's possible that
someone else picked it up.
101
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,903
But it was under my name.
102
00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:43,018
I-Is there one at another store?
103
00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:45,299
I doubt it. It's sort
of peak ruffle season.
104
00:03:45,473 --> 00:03:47,431
Now, I could order one in.
It would take at least a week.
105
00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:49,999
But I'm going to John
Jay's house tonight.
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00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,436
I heard that was an exclusive...
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] event.
107
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:54,221
It is.
108
00:03:54,395 --> 00:03:55,874
ANNOUNCER: Tune in next week
109
00:03:56,048 --> 00:03:57,963
for an ice-cold elimination on...
110
00:03:58,094 --> 00:04:00,183
- It's Getting Hot in Here.
- [TREVOR STRAINING]
111
00:04:01,228 --> 00:04:04,013
Cannot believe Victoria
P. sleep with Austin,
112
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,276
then send him home same night.
113
00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:08,235
Victoria P. is going to hell.
114
00:04:09,888 --> 00:04:10,888
[GASPING, SHOUTING]
115
00:04:10,976 --> 00:04:13,065
[SINGSONGY]: I'm back.
116
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,240
- Oh, my God!
- Oy gevalt.
117
00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:15,372
Not again.
118
00:04:15,459 --> 00:04:16,852
Elias, what are you doing here?
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00:04:17,026 --> 00:04:18,288
Come now, Henrietta,
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00:04:18,419 --> 00:04:20,072
that's no way to greet your husband.
121
00:04:20,247 --> 00:04:21,291
Greet you? [SCOFFING]
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00:04:21,465 --> 00:04:22,684
Last time you visited,
123
00:04:22,814 --> 00:04:24,642
you tried to drag Peter to hell.
124
00:04:24,773 --> 00:04:25,773
Never mind all that.
125
00:04:25,774 --> 00:04:27,384
I come to you today
126
00:04:27,471 --> 00:04:28,951
with an opportunity!
127
00:04:29,081 --> 00:04:31,867
We not interested in
anything you have to say.
128
00:04:32,041 --> 00:04:33,260
Now, now, hear me out.
129
00:04:33,390 --> 00:04:35,175
You see, my boss was very impressed
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00:04:35,262 --> 00:04:37,089
that I returned to hell voluntarily.
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00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,091
There's not a lot of that,
what with all the flaying
132
00:04:39,222 --> 00:04:41,181
and the burning and the bad Wi-Fi.
133
00:04:41,268 --> 00:04:44,836
So now I am on the management track.
134
00:04:44,923 --> 00:04:48,231
And I am one soul shy
of a big promotion.
135
00:04:48,318 --> 00:04:51,669
Oh, and you expect
one of us to volunteer
136
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,497
- to give you our soul?
- I do.
137
00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:57,109
If you accept my offer and
commit your soul to hell,
138
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,329
you will join me on
the management track.
139
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:03,159
Instead of having your
toenails pried off daily,
140
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:04,856
well, you could be doing the prying.
141
00:05:04,987 --> 00:05:06,684
Or supervising the prying.
142
00:05:06,771 --> 00:05:08,860
You wouldn't even have
to return with me now.
143
00:05:08,947 --> 00:05:11,428
We could work out a
time, even years from now,
144
00:05:11,515 --> 00:05:13,169
that your cushy sentence could begin.
145
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:16,346
But refuse my deal
146
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:19,871
and risk an eternity
of pain and suffering.
147
00:05:20,045 --> 00:05:21,395
Elias, it's a no from us.
148
00:05:21,525 --> 00:05:23,484
So why don't you go try
to peddle your nonsense
149
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:24,963
on some other ghosts.
150
00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:27,096
Oh, I specifically came
to talk to you four.
151
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,794
You see, we've kind
of had our eyes on you.
152
00:05:29,968 --> 00:05:31,274
Well, I don't like that.
153
00:05:31,361 --> 00:05:32,623
TREVOR: I'm going to be fine.
154
00:05:32,754 --> 00:05:34,146
I'll have you know, when I was alive,
155
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:35,670
I gave a lot of money to charity.
156
00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:37,672
[QUIETLY]: Charity
was a dancer at Scores.
157
00:05:37,802 --> 00:05:38,802
ELIAS: One last thing...
158
00:05:38,890 --> 00:05:41,153
this offer expires at midnight.
159
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:44,026
So, the only question is...
160
00:05:45,332 --> 00:05:47,290
... are you willing to roll the dice?
161
00:05:48,683 --> 00:05:50,032
SAMANTHA: Jay, pay attention.
162
00:05:50,162 --> 00:05:52,208
JAY: I can't hear or see him.
163
00:05:52,339 --> 00:05:54,254
Anyway, as I was saying, that evening,
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00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:55,820
I journeyed to John Jay's house,
165
00:05:55,951 --> 00:05:58,440
eager for the opportunity
that lay before me,
166
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:02,349
but terrified by how my
ruffle-less chest would be received.
167
00:06:02,479 --> 00:06:04,089
I get it. Neckwear was very important
168
00:06:04,176 --> 00:06:05,743
to us Pinecone Troopers.
169
00:06:05,874 --> 00:06:07,963
Although, given a second chance,
I would've gone with Kevlar
170
00:06:08,093 --> 00:06:09,921
and not your standard
cotton neckerchief.
171
00:06:10,052 --> 00:06:12,272
So, what happened when you
got to John Jay's house?
172
00:06:12,402 --> 00:06:13,838
We're still not at John Jay's house?
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00:06:13,925 --> 00:06:15,318
As I wassaying,
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00:06:15,405 --> 00:06:16,841
I entered the residence hoping my peers
175
00:06:16,972 --> 00:06:18,365
would focus more on my ideas
176
00:06:18,539 --> 00:06:21,019
than my garments.
177
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:23,326
That hope was quickly dashed.
178
00:06:25,023 --> 00:06:26,721
What the hell is wrong with you, Isaac?
179
00:06:26,808 --> 00:06:30,028
I can see the whole naked bib
of your shirt. It's disgusting.
180
00:06:30,159 --> 00:06:31,159
It wasn't my fault.
181
00:06:31,247 --> 00:06:32,770
There was a mix-up at the shoppe,
182
00:06:32,857 --> 00:06:35,207
and then it's like, trying
to find a last-minute ruffle
183
00:06:35,382 --> 00:06:36,600
in Manhattan in March...
184
00:06:36,731 --> 00:06:38,167
[CHUCKLING]: I mean, while I'm at it,
185
00:06:38,254 --> 00:06:41,388
why don't I just look
for the Northwest Passage?
186
00:06:42,563 --> 00:06:43,955
You are my protégé, Isaac.
187
00:06:44,042 --> 00:06:45,305
When I invited you to this dinner,
188
00:06:45,392 --> 00:06:47,307
I was sticking my neck out for you,
189
00:06:47,481 --> 00:06:49,918
and you didn't have the decency
to decorate yours for me?
190
00:06:49,919 --> 00:06:50,961
Look who's here.
191
00:06:50,962 --> 00:06:52,007
Thomas Jefferson.
192
00:06:52,181 --> 00:06:54,618
Ben Franklin. Sam Adams.
193
00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:57,142
I will not have you
embarrass me in my own house.
194
00:06:57,273 --> 00:06:58,535
I don't know what to say.
195
00:06:58,622 --> 00:07:00,842
If you want me to go, I'll-I'll go.
196
00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:02,974
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
197
00:07:03,105 --> 00:07:04,280
I-I think I have a spare.
198
00:07:04,411 --> 00:07:07,022
It's not quite the current
style, but it-it'll suffice.
199
00:07:07,196 --> 00:07:08,196
Come with me.
200
00:07:08,197 --> 00:07:10,242
[QUIETLY]: Yes.
201
00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:11,896
Oh, that's nice of him.
202
00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:13,463
So, everything worked out.
203
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,160
Yes, Samantha. I'm
telling you this story
204
00:07:15,291 --> 00:07:16,466
because everything worked out.
205
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,555
- Geez.
- ISAAC: Let's just say
206
00:07:18,642 --> 00:07:20,383
that this particular ruffle
207
00:07:20,514 --> 00:07:23,430
turned out to be worse
than no ruffle at all.
208
00:07:24,474 --> 00:07:26,563
My God, Higgintoot,
what are you wearing?
209
00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:27,695
It's a loaner.
210
00:07:27,869 --> 00:07:29,436
I know it's not the...
211
00:07:29,566 --> 00:07:31,481
delicate, finely pleated ruffle
212
00:07:31,655 --> 00:07:33,614
that's currently all the rage.
213
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,094
It looks as though you're
being attacked by a swan.
214
00:07:36,268 --> 00:07:37,705
[CHUCKLING] It's enormous.
215
00:07:37,835 --> 00:07:39,620
[CHUCKLES] It's a wonder
you're not toppling over.
216
00:07:39,707 --> 00:07:41,143
[LAUGHTER] I mean, you're more top-heavy
217
00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:42,797
than Catherine the Great.
218
00:07:42,884 --> 00:07:44,233
[LAUGHTER]
219
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,495
You seen paintings of her?
220
00:07:45,626 --> 00:07:47,062
- Oh!
- [CHUCKLES]: Oh. It's nuts.
221
00:07:47,236 --> 00:07:48,629
[CHUCKLING] Are you kidding?
222
00:07:48,716 --> 00:07:50,413
[CHUCKLES]: I can't get enough of them.
223
00:07:50,544 --> 00:07:53,764
You know me... I love looking
at a nice set of plump...
224
00:07:53,895 --> 00:07:54,895
duckies.
225
00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:57,159
But what I love even more is
226
00:07:57,289 --> 00:07:59,117
the fine tailoring at
Henry's Haberdashery.
227
00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:01,903
Which is why I had
reserved my ruffle there.
228
00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:03,731
I'm talking very normal-sized...
229
00:08:03,861 --> 00:08:07,430
modest, even... with a
fine, handsewn center pleat.
230
00:08:07,561 --> 00:08:09,737
[DOOR OPENS]
231
00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:11,739
Oh. Sort of like Hamilton's.
232
00:08:11,913 --> 00:08:14,045
JOHN: Alexander, you made it!
233
00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:15,482
Happy to be here.
234
00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:17,570
ISAAC: There he was,
235
00:08:17,614 --> 00:08:18,963
Alexander Hamilton.
236
00:08:19,137 --> 00:08:21,836
And he was wearing my ruffle.
237
00:08:21,923 --> 00:08:23,446
[GASPS]
238
00:08:23,577 --> 00:08:25,056
Did you just gasp at your own reveal?
239
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:26,449
I did.
240
00:08:30,115 --> 00:08:33,282
I am so confused. How did you
even know it was your ruffle?
241
00:08:33,369 --> 00:08:35,153
Are you serious? I ran
into him at the haberdashery
242
00:08:35,327 --> 00:08:37,068
just when my ruffle was
supposed to be ready.
243
00:08:37,199 --> 00:08:39,549
And then he shows up
wearing one that's identical
244
00:08:39,723 --> 00:08:40,985
to the one I reserved?
245
00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:43,379
He must have given them my name
246
00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:45,512
because he wanted the trendy ruffle.
247
00:08:45,599 --> 00:08:49,646
I could not just let
this injustice stand.
248
00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:52,083
I mean, Angelica is
definitely the prettiest.
249
00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,303
- Yeah. Sure.
- You know. But Eliza just...
250
00:08:54,477 --> 00:08:56,087
She just seems so gettable.
251
00:08:56,218 --> 00:08:57,524
SAM: Mm, man, a Schuyler sister.
252
00:08:57,698 --> 00:08:59,961
- I wonder if I could get one.
- I mean,
253
00:09:00,091 --> 00:09:01,223
perhaps Peggy.
254
00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:02,266
[SAM AND ALEXANDER LAUGHING]
255
00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:03,443
[SHUDDERS]
256
00:09:03,573 --> 00:09:04,792
[LAUGHS] Right?
257
00:09:04,922 --> 00:09:07,447
[SAM AND ALEXANDER LAUGHING]
258
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:12,060
Good evening, Alexander.
259
00:09:12,147 --> 00:09:13,627
Lovely ruffle.
260
00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:15,237
You must have reserved
it quite some time ago,
261
00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:17,544
what, considering how
slammed all the haberdasheries
262
00:09:17,718 --> 00:09:19,154
have been this ruffle season.
263
00:09:19,241 --> 00:09:22,940
Yes, yes. Ruffle season
certainly has been hot, hot, hot.
264
00:09:23,027 --> 00:09:27,336
[CHUCKLES] Which is why I reserved
mine with Mr. Henry two weeks ago.
265
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,555
[CHUCKLES]: Oh. You know,
266
00:09:28,685 --> 00:09:30,470
funny thing... I also reserved mine
267
00:09:30,557 --> 00:09:32,559
with Mr. Henry two weeks ago.
268
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:34,169
But when I showed up today,
269
00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,866
mine had gone missing.
270
00:09:35,997 --> 00:09:38,347
And yet here you are,
271
00:09:38,434 --> 00:09:40,088
wearing an identical piece.
272
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,568
How interesting.
273
00:09:41,742 --> 00:09:43,874
And another interesting fact...
274
00:09:44,048 --> 00:09:47,399
I had my ruffle monogrammed
on the inside of the collar.
275
00:09:48,139 --> 00:09:49,924
Monogrammed, you say?
276
00:09:50,011 --> 00:09:51,447
Indeed.
277
00:09:51,578 --> 00:09:54,015
Gentlemen. Let's convene the meeting.
278
00:09:54,189 --> 00:09:56,583
I'd like to polish off the
rest of this draft tonight,
279
00:09:56,713 --> 00:09:58,759
so we can get on with the signing.
280
00:09:58,789 --> 00:09:59,846
The signing.
281
00:09:59,847 --> 00:10:01,718
Hot stack of johnnycakes,
282
00:10:01,849 --> 00:10:04,547
you really were gonna sign the
Declaration of Independence!
283
00:10:05,134 --> 00:10:07,463
- It really looked like it.
- So what happened?
284
00:10:07,594 --> 00:10:10,422
- So, let's talk about these unalienable rights.
- Mm.
285
00:10:10,553 --> 00:10:14,514
So far, I have life and liberty.
286
00:10:14,688 --> 00:10:16,385
But it feels like
there should be a third.
287
00:10:16,459 --> 00:10:17,516
Mm.
288
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,170
What about beer?
289
00:10:19,301 --> 00:10:21,782
Thank you, Sam. Uh, I'm
not gonna write that down,
290
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,610
but that doesn't mean
that it was a bad idea.
291
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:26,047
Either way, we need to make
it clear that these rights
292
00:10:26,221 --> 00:10:27,352
were given to us by God...
293
00:10:27,483 --> 00:10:29,746
I think Hamilton took it.
294
00:10:31,748 --> 00:10:33,228
[WHISPERING]: Took what?
295
00:10:33,358 --> 00:10:34,664
My ruffle.
296
00:10:34,795 --> 00:10:36,623
The one I reserved at Henry's.
297
00:10:36,753 --> 00:10:38,929
Who cares? We're founding a nation.
298
00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,714
Just drop it, man.
299
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:42,628
JEFFERSON: Now,
300
00:10:42,629 --> 00:10:45,936
the people should
have the right to alter
301
00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:48,635
or even abolish government, if abused.
302
00:10:48,809 --> 00:10:49,940
But at the same time...
303
00:10:50,071 --> 00:10:52,769
Do you think he bribed him?
304
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:53,944
Bribed who?
305
00:10:54,075 --> 00:10:55,816
The haberdasher.
306
00:10:55,903 --> 00:10:57,992
- Are you not listening?
- I am trying to listen.
307
00:10:58,122 --> 00:11:00,908
- To Jefferson. Just leave me alone.
- Okay.
308
00:11:01,082 --> 00:11:03,040
JEFFERSON: And we can no longer
tolerate the forced boarding
309
00:11:03,171 --> 00:11:05,129
of foreign mercenaries in our homes.
310
00:11:05,216 --> 00:11:06,740
FRANKLIN: Mm-hmm.
311
00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:08,524
It's just, the timing is so suspicious.
312
00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:10,265
JEFFERSON: ... what it is that they...
313
00:11:10,439 --> 00:11:11,832
John.
314
00:11:11,919 --> 00:11:12,919
John.
315
00:11:13,007 --> 00:11:15,270
- John Jay...
- Higgintoot!
316
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,098
- Yeah...
- Did you have something
317
00:11:17,228 --> 00:11:18,447
that you would like to contribute
318
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,796
to this particular concept?
319
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:22,233
I, um...
320
00:11:22,407 --> 00:11:24,192
Yeah, I like it. It's good.
321
00:11:24,322 --> 00:11:25,715
And what was it?
322
00:11:26,890 --> 00:11:27,978
I don't know.
323
00:11:28,109 --> 00:11:29,110
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
324
00:11:29,284 --> 00:11:31,634
Man, you are blowing this.
325
00:11:34,811 --> 00:11:36,596
ELIAS: There are many benefits.
326
00:11:36,770 --> 00:11:40,251
Sometimes I even get to come
to Earth as a living human,
327
00:11:40,338 --> 00:11:41,601
otherwise known as a demon.
328
00:11:41,731 --> 00:11:42,732
While here,
329
00:11:42,863 --> 00:11:44,473
I'm wining, I'm dining,
330
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,354
I am tricking innocents
into selling me their souls.
331
00:11:47,384 --> 00:11:51,611
[CHUCKLES] It is a blast. And
all on the underworld's dime.
332
00:11:51,785 --> 00:11:54,178
Honestly, it sounds a lot like
my time at Lehman Brothers.
333
00:11:54,309 --> 00:11:56,528
Any of you could be having fun like me.
334
00:11:56,703 --> 00:11:58,269
All you have to do is accept my deal.
335
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,054
A simple handshake will do.
336
00:12:00,184 --> 00:12:01,184
Oh, get that hand away from me.
337
00:12:01,272 --> 00:12:02,272
I ain't taking the deal.
338
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,493
Nor should any of us.
339
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,451
Aside from possibly Thor.
340
00:12:06,538 --> 00:12:08,018
What Thor do?
341
00:12:08,149 --> 00:12:09,367
"What Thor do?"
342
00:12:09,541 --> 00:12:10,978
Didn't you kill, like,
thousands of people?
343
00:12:11,108 --> 00:12:13,371
Yes, but only to pillage the land
344
00:12:13,502 --> 00:12:15,069
for resources and treasure.
345
00:12:15,199 --> 00:12:17,549
Also, must remember,
most of those were Dane,
346
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,509
so Thor think Thor in clear.
347
00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:22,119
Danes are people, too, Thor.
348
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:23,512
ELIAS: She's not wrong,
349
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,209
my wolf-urine-soaked friend.
350
00:12:25,340 --> 00:12:26,602
You see, in the eyes of hell,
351
00:12:26,776 --> 00:12:28,735
all nationalities are seen as equal.
352
00:12:28,909 --> 00:12:30,258
[GRUNTS]
353
00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:32,173
I was surprised, too.
354
00:12:32,347 --> 00:12:36,003
But Thor kill many, many Dane.
355
00:12:36,133 --> 00:12:41,008
And also, eat best friend
Oskar, who was squirrel.
356
00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:43,837
See, the equating of those
two things also isn't great.
357
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:45,316
ELIAS: Think I have a live one.
358
00:12:45,403 --> 00:12:46,840
What do you say we make it official?
359
00:12:47,014 --> 00:12:48,755
- [GRUNTS]
- ALBERTA: Oh, that's enough, Elias.
360
00:12:48,885 --> 00:12:50,191
He doesn't want your
deal. None of us do.
361
00:12:50,365 --> 00:12:52,976
So open up a hole and go
back down from where you came.
362
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,152
Well, you all have
another hour on the clock.
363
00:12:55,239 --> 00:12:57,067
If you change your
minds, I will be around
364
00:12:57,241 --> 00:13:00,767
looking for Livings to
walk through and make horny.
365
00:13:01,811 --> 00:13:03,247
Okay, that guy sucks,
366
00:13:03,421 --> 00:13:05,902
but you got to admit,
that ghost power rocks.
367
00:13:07,251 --> 00:13:09,210
- Men?
- I do believe
368
00:13:09,297 --> 00:13:12,256
that we have done something
important here tonight.
369
00:13:12,387 --> 00:13:14,737
And now it is time to sign.
370
00:13:14,868 --> 00:13:16,739
- ALL: Huzzah!
- [LAUGHTER]
371
00:13:16,826 --> 00:13:17,914
[LAUGHS]
372
00:13:18,045 --> 00:13:19,829
There I was,
373
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,875
mere inches away...
374
00:13:22,049 --> 00:13:24,399
From signing the
Declaration of Independence?
375
00:13:24,486 --> 00:13:28,011
From the monogrammed
collar of my ruffle.
376
00:13:29,491 --> 00:13:31,406
I know it's you.
377
00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:33,756
- You stole my ruffle.
- [SCOFFS]
378
00:13:33,843 --> 00:13:35,410
I don't know what you're talking about,
379
00:13:35,497 --> 00:13:36,803
and we're kind of in
the middle of something.
380
00:13:36,977 --> 00:13:38,369
Well, let me see the collar.
381
00:13:38,543 --> 00:13:40,067
- What?
- No, let me see it.
382
00:13:40,241 --> 00:13:41,372
- No. No.
- Let me see it.
383
00:13:41,546 --> 00:13:42,809
What is wrong with you?
384
00:13:42,983 --> 00:13:44,071
Isaac, what are you doing?
385
00:13:44,245 --> 00:13:46,203
[SCREAMING, HOLLERING]
386
00:13:46,334 --> 00:13:48,292
- Put it out!
- My God, man!
387
00:13:48,423 --> 00:13:49,729
Uh, I can save it.
388
00:13:49,816 --> 00:13:51,121
No, no...
389
00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:52,601
ALL: No!
390
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:53,863
My beer.
391
00:13:54,037 --> 00:13:55,909
Phew. That was close.
392
00:13:56,039 --> 00:13:58,694
You destroyed it, Higgintoot.
393
00:13:58,825 --> 00:14:00,914
No, no, I-I mean... [CHUCKLES]
394
00:14:01,044 --> 00:14:03,090
Honestly, we were gonna
have to do it over anyway,
395
00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:05,745
'cause all those S's look like F's.
396
00:14:07,921 --> 00:14:09,183
Oh, my goodness.
397
00:14:09,313 --> 00:14:11,663
You destroyed the
Declaration of Independence?
398
00:14:11,794 --> 00:14:14,057
Just the first draft, but yes.
399
00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:20,808
So you destroyed the first
draft of the Declaration
400
00:14:20,982 --> 00:14:22,592
and squandered your own shot at history.
401
00:14:22,723 --> 00:14:24,202
At least there's a silver lining.
402
00:14:25,639 --> 00:14:28,468
Damn it, Pete, don't start
one unless you got it.
403
00:14:28,642 --> 00:14:30,992
I spilled a glass of wine on
Paul Simon's white couch once.
404
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,813
Took Garfunkel a week
to get the stain out.
405
00:14:32,987 --> 00:14:34,728
JAY: Oh, man,
406
00:14:34,902 --> 00:14:37,208
Timothée Chalamet's eating
at Connor's restaurant.
407
00:14:37,295 --> 00:14:39,907
I'm sorry, is he even
listening to my story?
408
00:14:40,037 --> 00:14:41,778
Jay, Isaac wants you to focus up.
409
00:14:41,952 --> 00:14:45,390
I am focusing, but there's a
lot of downtime between updates.
410
00:14:45,521 --> 00:14:47,044
Where was I? Ah, yes.
411
00:14:47,131 --> 00:14:50,570
Fine, not my finest
moment, but all is not lost.
412
00:14:50,744 --> 00:14:52,833
Jefferson, you seem to have a
pretty good handle on things.
413
00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:54,748
How about you take
another run at the draft?
414
00:14:54,922 --> 00:14:57,098
And then we'll all meet back
here, same time next week
415
00:14:57,228 --> 00:14:59,622
for some beers and sign-aroonies?
416
00:14:59,709 --> 00:15:03,452
I'm sorry, Higgintoot,
but, uh, you're out.
417
00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:05,019
Me?
418
00:15:05,106 --> 00:15:07,021
If anyone should be out,
surely it's Hamilton.
419
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,371
And why is that?
420
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:12,853
Because he stole my ruffle.
421
00:15:12,983 --> 00:15:14,724
He's spiraling. He's totally lost it.
422
00:15:14,898 --> 00:15:16,639
Who invited this guy?
423
00:15:16,726 --> 00:15:18,728
I think he just showed up.
424
00:15:18,859 --> 00:15:20,600
JEFFERSON: Higgintoot...
425
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:22,993
... it is time to leave.
426
00:15:23,124 --> 00:15:26,083
Fine, I'll leave,
427
00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:28,346
but not without regret.
428
00:15:28,477 --> 00:15:30,697
Nothing would have made me happier
429
00:15:30,784 --> 00:15:33,177
than to contribute to this great cause.
430
00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:39,444
But alas, Alexander interfered
with my pursuit of happiness.
431
00:15:42,447 --> 00:15:44,667
Because of the whole ruffle kerfuffle.
432
00:15:44,754 --> 00:15:46,321
Get out!
433
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:49,213
Adding insult to injury,
434
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,782
Hamilton volunteered
to lead me to the door,
435
00:15:52,956 --> 00:15:57,308
saving for my exit one
final twist of the knife.
436
00:15:57,438 --> 00:16:01,442
I'm sorry things didn't work out.
437
00:16:01,573 --> 00:16:04,968
Oh, and, um, Higgintoot?
438
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,491
You were right.
439
00:16:06,621 --> 00:16:08,710
I stole your ruffle.
440
00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:14,716
Hamilton admitted to
stealing Isaac's ruffle.
441
00:16:14,804 --> 00:16:18,155
So Isaac was right. Hamilton did do it.
442
00:16:18,242 --> 00:16:19,809
Yes, Jay.
443
00:16:19,939 --> 00:16:22,507
But the truth is,
that's not what matters.
444
00:16:22,594 --> 00:16:24,450
The only thing that matters
445
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:28,078
is that my blind
obsession with proving that
446
00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:31,690
caused me to miss out on
being a part of history.
447
00:16:31,821 --> 00:16:36,477
Jay, this restaurant is
your shot at making history.
448
00:16:36,608 --> 00:16:40,003
Don't let it pass you by.
449
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:41,656
Isaac's saying he
should've just let it go
450
00:16:41,787 --> 00:16:43,180
and not worried about it,
451
00:16:43,310 --> 00:16:45,486
because he missed his
chance to make his mark.
452
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:48,011
[SCOFFS] Isaac's right.
453
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,491
I need to stop sitting
around and complaining
454
00:16:50,622 --> 00:16:52,058
and start doing everything in my power
455
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,539
to make my restaurant a success.
456
00:16:54,669 --> 00:16:56,715
FLOWER: This might be way too late
457
00:16:56,802 --> 00:16:59,761
to be asking, but what is a ruffle?
458
00:16:59,849 --> 00:17:02,547
Honestly, I got to say,
I knew hell was bad,
459
00:17:02,634 --> 00:17:04,984
- but it sounds really bad.
- Totally.
460
00:17:05,071 --> 00:17:07,073
Except for the constant
playing of Chumbawamba,
461
00:17:07,204 --> 00:17:09,336
- which is objectively awesome.
- [GASPS]
462
00:17:09,510 --> 00:17:10,990
So, do we have a deal?
463
00:17:11,121 --> 00:17:12,165
Thor, no.
464
00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:13,427
You don't want to do this, Big Guy.
465
00:17:13,514 --> 00:17:14,776
[SIGHS]
466
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,170
But Thor may be going to hell anyways.
467
00:17:17,301 --> 00:17:21,914
Why not take deal and make
things little more comfortable?
468
00:17:22,045 --> 00:17:23,829
Trust me, he does not want
to start on the ground floor.
469
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,179
I mean, for one, that
floor is made of snakes.
470
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:29,661
Thor, think about it,
you've been here a long time.
471
00:17:29,791 --> 00:17:31,097
If you were gonna go down on us,
472
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,447
don't you think it would
have already happened?
473
00:17:33,578 --> 00:17:35,145
- What you mean?
- I'm saying yes,
474
00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:38,975
you've done some bad stuff,
but you've been making efforts
475
00:17:39,105 --> 00:17:40,715
- to improve yourself.
- Mm.
476
00:17:40,846 --> 00:17:42,630
And maybe the universe is taking note.
477
00:17:42,804 --> 00:17:46,417
You remember two years ago when
Bela's boyfriend Eric was electrocuted
478
00:17:46,591 --> 00:17:49,202
and you saved his life
using your ghost power?
479
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,770
Yeah, Thor, that's one life
back in the plus column.
480
00:17:51,857 --> 00:17:53,250
You do that a couple
more thousand times,
481
00:17:53,424 --> 00:17:54,816
you're pretty much even.
482
00:17:54,904 --> 00:17:57,341
Don't listen to them.
We're hell buddies.
483
00:17:57,515 --> 00:18:00,692
And you remember all those
years as a ghost when you watched
484
00:18:00,822 --> 00:18:02,781
over me as a young girl?
485
00:18:02,912 --> 00:18:05,044
Comforting me in my times of need.
486
00:18:05,131 --> 00:18:06,828
Maybe we've all been
given a chance to learn
487
00:18:06,916 --> 00:18:09,657
from our mistakes and
become better people.
488
00:18:09,831 --> 00:18:11,746
And no one's done that more than you.
489
00:18:14,358 --> 00:18:17,100
Sorry, Elias... [EXHALES]
490
00:18:19,102 --> 00:18:22,148
... but Thor decide
to take Thor's chances.
491
00:18:22,315 --> 00:18:24,796
Fine, but know this: I will not rest
492
00:18:24,926 --> 00:18:27,233
until I reap one soul from this house.
493
00:18:27,364 --> 00:18:28,756
Believe me when I say,
494
00:18:28,887 --> 00:18:31,281
you have not seen the last of me.
495
00:18:34,545 --> 00:18:35,545
Morons.
496
00:18:35,589 --> 00:18:37,156
That is the cue.
497
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:38,897
That is always the cue.
498
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,507
You have not seen the last...
499
00:18:40,594 --> 00:18:42,770
- ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again... ♪
- Ooh.
500
00:18:42,844 --> 00:18:43,901
TREVOR: ♪ I get knocked down ♪
501
00:18:43,902 --> 00:18:45,730
♪ But I get up again ♪
502
00:18:45,817 --> 00:18:47,384
♪ You're never gonna keep me down... ♪
503
00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:49,734
God, it's such a good song.
504
00:18:49,821 --> 00:18:51,127
PETE: Isaac.
505
00:18:51,257 --> 00:18:52,780
Something you said got me thinking.
506
00:18:52,954 --> 00:18:55,131
Did you ever actually
read the final version
507
00:18:55,261 --> 00:18:56,654
of the Declaration of Independence?
508
00:18:56,784 --> 00:18:59,004
As a matter of fact, no.
509
00:18:59,178 --> 00:19:00,919
Once I blew my chance
to be a part of it,
510
00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:02,703
I couldn't bear to look at the thing.
511
00:19:02,790 --> 00:19:04,966
Right, 'cause there's a
phrase you said in the story.
512
00:19:05,141 --> 00:19:06,794
"Pursuit of happiness."
513
00:19:06,925 --> 00:19:08,927
Yes, it was something I said
in the heat of the moment.
514
00:19:09,101 --> 00:19:11,277
They can't all be winners.
515
00:19:11,364 --> 00:19:12,800
Well, they used it.
516
00:19:12,931 --> 00:19:14,106
Right at the beginning
of the Declaration.
517
00:19:14,193 --> 00:19:16,195
What? Really?
518
00:19:16,326 --> 00:19:18,284
"Certain unalienable rights.
519
00:19:18,371 --> 00:19:21,287
Life, liberty and the
pursuit of happiness... "
520
00:19:21,374 --> 00:19:23,028
They used my words.
521
00:19:23,159 --> 00:19:27,076
So I guess you did make your mark
on history, in kind of a big way.
522
00:19:27,206 --> 00:19:29,295
I guess I did. What
about "ruffle kerfuffle"?
523
00:19:29,382 --> 00:19:30,557
Did that make it in?
524
00:19:30,644 --> 00:19:31,644
Uh, I'm pretty sure no.
525
00:19:31,645 --> 00:19:32,951
Okay. Well, still,
526
00:19:33,082 --> 00:19:34,822
Isaac: one, Hamilton: zero.
527
00:19:34,953 --> 00:19:36,998
Well, I mean, he's on
the ten-dollar bill.
528
00:19:37,129 --> 00:19:39,088
Yeah, okay, then it's a draw.
529
00:19:39,218 --> 00:19:42,091
Which is the best Hamilton's
ever done in a duel, am I right?
530
00:19:42,221 --> 00:19:43,614
Yeah, h-he died.
531
00:19:43,788 --> 00:19:45,833
[LAUGHS]: Yes, he did. The wimp.
532
00:19:45,964 --> 00:19:48,532
Whereas I am immortal.
533
00:19:48,662 --> 00:19:50,708
My words live on.
534
00:19:51,709 --> 00:19:52,840
I have to tell the others.
535
00:19:52,971 --> 00:19:55,887
Everyone? I'm famous!
536
00:19:56,017 --> 00:19:57,497
Whereas Hamilton
537
00:19:57,628 --> 00:19:59,151
bled out in a field in New Jersey.
538
00:19:59,238 --> 00:20:01,545
I bet he was really ruffled about that.
539
00:20:01,632 --> 00:20:04,374
Can't endorse the
pettiness, but love the pun.
540
00:20:08,353 --> 00:20:10,007
If I'm being honest,
part of me isn't sure
541
00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:11,504
about hiring a publicist.
542
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,723
I know I'm a good chef.
Shouldn't that be enough?
543
00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:16,203
Everyone needs a little help sometimes.
544
00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:20,100
I don't know, it kind of
feels like I'm selling my soul.
545
00:20:20,298 --> 00:20:22,166
I completely understand.
546
00:20:24,261 --> 00:20:25,436
You know what?
547
00:20:25,566 --> 00:20:27,133
I'm gonna have to think about it.
548
00:20:27,220 --> 00:20:28,439
Take as much time as you need.
549
00:20:28,613 --> 00:20:30,180
And when you've made your decision,
550
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,704
you know how to get in
touch with me. [LAUGHS]
551
00:20:32,791 --> 00:20:35,620
- [CACKLES]
- [LAUGHS]
552
00:20:39,232 --> 00:20:42,148
♪ I get knocked down, but I
get up again, you're never... ♪
553
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:48,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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