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1
00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:35,286
Good news, everyone.
2
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,372
Remember when you asked
to see my family tree?
3
00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:39,457
All: No.
4
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,791
Ta-da!
5
00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:47,006
This is my ancestor, philo
Farnsworth, inventor of television,
6
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:50,551
and as a bonus,
childhood obesity.
7
00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:52,803
And here's Dean Farnsworth,
8
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:56,515
developer of the Farnsworth
test for colorblindness.
9
00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,184
Where is he, blast it?
10
00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,938
And just recently, I learned
of a modern-day Farnsworth
11
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,565
who invented
the anti-senility truss.
12
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:05,983
That's you, professor.
13
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,068
Wha...
14
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:13,199
Ah, yes, the farnsworths boast a
proud and distinguished lineage.
15
00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:15,409
No wormy fruit on this tree.
16
00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:16,535
What about fry?
17
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,204
Isn't he your distant uncle?
18
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:21,165
Very distant. Not a true
Farnsworth, mind you.
19
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,210
He's way over here
on this filthy branch
20
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:27,171
riddled with fungus
and dung beetles.
21
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,133
What's with the 17 dung beetles?
22
00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:35,972
Well, it's 6:00. I guess we'll have to
deliver that human heart tomorrow.
23
00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,932
Good work, people. Woo-hoo!
24
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:41,894
Time to go clubbing!
Baby seals, here I come.
25
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,064
Guess I better head over
to my nightjob.
26
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,899
You have a nightjob? Yup.
27
00:01:46,983 --> 00:01:49,402
It's exhausting, but I need
the extra money to buy coffee
28
00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,362
so I can stay awake
for my night job.
29
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,197
But... got to go!
30
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:57,910
Ah!
31
00:01:57,994 --> 00:02:01,372
You've got a surprising amount of
algae in your beard, Mr. President.
32
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,958
Just sit still and let the
algae-eater do its work.
33
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,503
Lay off my trademark mole!
34
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,131
Fry. Hi, Lars.
35
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,383
Whatever. I'm heading
out to my night job.
36
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:16,637
Remember, no loud noise, no
head bowling, and no parties,
37
00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:18,389
or it'll be your ass in a jar.
38
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:19,932
I want to go to that museum!
39
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:28,024
Man, this place is a snooze.
40
00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:32,486
Hey, fry, I challenge president
taft here to a pie-eating contest.
41
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:33,821
You're on, skinny.
42
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:36,782
Sorry, guys. You know
the rules. No fun allowed.
43
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,784
Come on, you pansy! I'm thirsty!
44
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,870
I want me some
Tennessee ioopyjuice!
45
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,163
And I want loose women!
46
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,246
The kind that aren't afraid
to show a little ankle.
47
00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:46,459
Or elbow.
48
00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:48,878
No visitors. I'll lose my job.
49
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:52,882
Oh, boohoo. "I'll lose
my minimum wagejob."
50
00:02:55,468 --> 00:02:57,678
You're mean,
rutherford b. Hayes!
51
00:02:57,762 --> 00:02:59,180
Listen here, young man.
52
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:02,558
We have nothing to fear
but running out of beer.
53
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,187
All right,
one small get-together,
54
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,397
but let's keep it
quiet and dignified.
55
00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:10,107
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah!
56
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,236
All right!
57
00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:20,284
All: Four more beers!
Four more beers!
58
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,789
Yes! Right in the ike!
59
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,500
Nice elbow action.
60
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,086
So, you grow hemp.
61
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,212
Yes.
62
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:33,047
And you do what with it?
63
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,715
All manner of things.
64
00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:37,676
Manufacture paper,
fabric, rope...
65
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,221
Oh. Well, nice talking to you.
66
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:43,557
Why, I used to smoke
about four feet of rope a day.
67
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,184
Let me give you my pager number.
68
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:49,355
Hey, Reagan, remember when
you asked to see my family tree?
69
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,649
I asked you to leave me alone.
70
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,735
The farnsworths
are a remarkable...
71
00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:56,445
Farnsworth?
72
00:03:56,821 --> 00:03:58,948
That name is a stain
on American history.
73
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:02,451
One of the worst traitors of the
revolution was a Farnsworth.
74
00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:03,577
You're lying!
75
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:04,829
He's George Washington.
76
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,205
He tends not to do that.
77
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:10,876
David Farnsworth was a notorious
British agent and counterfeiter.
78
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,672
He conspired to bring down our
nation with his fraudulent currency!
79
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:18,342
A Farnsworth did this? Oh, dear!
80
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,636
My good name is ruined!
81
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,389
Hi. I'm Jerry. I like movies.
82
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:32,064
Anyone seen ulysses Grant?
He owes me a cheroot.
83
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,108
He's over there,
puking in the bushes.
84
00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:37,695
Both: No!
85
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,452
Oh, boy. Mr. Fry!
86
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,912
Why are all these
people standing around
87
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:49,123
when they should be partying?
88
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,416
All right!
89
00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:55,546
Hey, hey, lbj,
you want to get drunk?
90
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,256
Hell, yeah.
91
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:02,219
Zoidberg, no! The effects
ofjarjuice aren't fully understood.
92
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:06,974
Uh... not bad. A hint
of vitalis and... whoa!
93
00:05:10,186 --> 00:05:13,397
I recognize this.
It's the 1960s!
94
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:16,233
I did a report on it
for my drug-taking class.
95
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,985
Hi, I'm Andy warhol,
96
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:21,864
and you're some kind of
marvelous lobster-man.
97
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:25,910
Right on. Say, you got any
real soup, or just this schlock?
98
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:28,996
What a horrid bore.
99
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,165
Ooh. Huh?
100
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:34,752
Far out. That head
gave me a total head trip!
101
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,338
Really? I'm gonna lick
Herbert hoover's head.
102
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:40,633
Lick the head! Lick the head!
103
00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:50,684
Whoa! A speakeasy! One
prohibited beverage, please.
104
00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,311
Hey, Dutch,
the new still is here!
105
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,105
I'm not a still.
I just smell like one.
106
00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:59,276
Policeman: Dutch Schultz,
come out with your bootleg whiskey.
107
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,402
We're thirsty!
108
00:06:06,951 --> 00:06:08,494
What the heck is going on?
109
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,871
Jefferson, did you
sell me some bad rope?
110
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,792
It must have something to do
with the jar fluid.
111
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:16,502
A-ha!
112
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:20,381
Dr. Cahill, do I detect
a trace of opalescence?
113
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,924
Very observant, professor.
114
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,803
To preserve the heads, we use a
rare form of powdered crystalline opal.
115
00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:29,473
This is
the world's entire supply.
116
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:32,977
Yet it's so powerful, it
should last a thousand years.
117
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,604
It keeps the heads alive,
but we don't know how.
118
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:37,898
Why did it give us
those hallucinations?
119
00:06:37,982 --> 00:06:39,900
Because it didn't!
120
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,360
Yeah-uh.
121
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,196
Opal has unusual
temporal properties.
122
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,366
It preserves each head
in a time stasis bubble.
123
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:53,706
Ergo, licking those heads actually sent us
back in time to their original eras. Look!
124
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,959
Schlock and more schlock.
125
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,378
Psst. Is the coast clear?
126
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,505
Button your yap, you mug.
127
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:04,925
I've discovered a new
means of time travel.
128
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:07,678
I'll call it
the Farnsworth effect!
129
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:12,099
Nice try, but even this discovery
won't undo the treachery
130
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:15,686
wrought by your nefarious
ancestor, David Farnsworth.
131
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:19,231
It will if we go back
in time and stop him!
132
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,572
Professor, no!
133
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,949
You can't tongue
the father of our country!
134
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,623
Where are we? Also, when are we?
135
00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:38,751
68th and Broadway, colonial era.
136
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:42,880
Rush hour.
137
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:51,972
By my calculations, this head
trip will last at most 24 hours.
138
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:55,309
We need to stop that monster,
David Farnsworth!
139
00:07:55,517 --> 00:08:00,439
Look at the date on this
newspaper. April 17th, 1775.
140
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,983
Say, on this exact date,
141
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:06,445
the continental congress was
meeting secretly in New York.
142
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,988
Maybe they can help us.
143
00:08:08,072 --> 00:08:09,573
But they could be
meeting anywhere.
144
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,284
What are we going to do,
search building to building?
145
00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,496
Farnsworth:
We'll start with that one.
146
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,040
Alexander Hamilton of New York,
147
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,084
how say you? Nay.
148
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,003
John hancock and John Adams
of Massachusetts?
149
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,338
Yea!
150
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,839
The yeas have it.
151
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:29,718
Our nation's official joke
state shall be New Jersey.
152
00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:31,220
Uh-oh!
153
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,977
Ah, it is just
our new crock-pot.
154
00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,772
Watch it, wiggy.
I ain't no stinking crock.
155
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,857
We'll see about that
in five hours.
156
00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:48,445
Halt! From whence comest
thou, one-eyed maiden?
157
00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,864
Uh... ever been to Peru?
158
00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:52,199
Certainly not.
159
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,283
I'm from Peru.
160
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,536
Clam up, founding fathers.
161
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:59,707
We need help locating the treacherous
forger who forged this forgery.
162
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,836
My word.
If these enter circulation,
163
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:08,424
our economy will be destroyed, and
with it, our chance at independence.
164
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:12,386
Only one man in the colonies has a
printing press fine enough to make these.
165
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,471
Our good friend, Ben Franklin!
166
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,974
Uh-oh. Isn't Franklin
in Philadelphia?
167
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,644
When he's not in Charlotte
or marybelle or Louisa.
168
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:25,691
I don't get it.
169
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,818
I'm sure no one's
ever said this before,
170
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,530
but I must get to Philadelphia
as quickly as possible!
171
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:41,039
Oh. Why couldn't my disgraced
ancestor have lived in the Nascar era?
172
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:50,549
Dr. Franklin, your new
steam engine is here.
173
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,676
I ain't no
stinking steam engine!
174
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,511
Chicken's ready.
175
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,305
You may go, Louisa.
176
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:57,598
Now I get it.
177
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:05,355
Fascinating.
Be you man or machine?
178
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:08,567
Mostly machine. Might be a
couple of dead cats in there.
179
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,278
Dr. Franklin,
with all due respect
180
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:14,573
to the brilliant
inventor of the stove,
181
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:15,657
I must speak with you.
182
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,703
I'm looking for the scoundrel
who made this.
183
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:24,708
Intricate filigree, satanic
symbols. Looks like one of mine.
184
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:28,378
But no, this is a fake!
185
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,882
Duh. It says,
"colony of maffachufetts."
186
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,468
More like taxachufetts.
187
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:39,723
That's just how we
print "s" s, you ftupid fhitheads.
188
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,266
Someone must have used my press
189
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,227
while I was poking around
in Charlotte.
190
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,562
Let's ask my apprentice,
David Farnsworth.
191
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,273
Farnsworth? That's him!
192
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,566
Arm yourselves!
193
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,445
I call it the franklinator.
194
00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,202
The apprentice's suite
is empty! He's gone!
195
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,121
Wait. What's that glistening
in the chamber pot?
196
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:04,248
Let's find out!
197
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,335
Bender, do you know
what a chamber pot is?
198
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,420
I don't know, and I don't care.
199
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,883
A Massachusetts ha'penny?
200
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:18,303
Probably fake, too.
There's one way to find out.
201
00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:20,430
All: Ew.
202
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,808
Bender bit a poo penny. What?
203
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,226
Bender bit a poo penny.
204
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:26,687
Look, 'tis but worthless tin.
205
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:30,774
Where could Farnsworth have
minted such a high quality fake?
206
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:31,859
Not here.
207
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,612
But you know, I have a friend in
Boston who's an expert silversmith.
208
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:36,947
They could be connected.
209
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,051
There's only, like, 40 people
who do anything around here.
210
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:45,038
But Boston's 300 miles away, and
bender kicked our horse to death.
211
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,999
We'll never get there in time.
212
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,752
Unless you have another
invention up your sleeve.
213
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:52,963
Hmm...
214
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,428
How is this going
to get us to Boston?
215
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,099
Stupid Franklin.
216
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,977
I will get you!
217
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,198
Ah. That scrap metal
I ordered is here.
218
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,242
I'm 40% scrap metal.
219
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:28,248
Well, Ben Franklin, my
fellow son of iiber-tea kettles.
220
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,876
Yes, I've made
some new teakettles.
221
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,628
Perfect for special occasions.
222
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,088
Like hanging king
George in effigy...
223
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:39,760
And "h" and "I" are monograms
you can put on those kettles.
224
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,096
What are you looking at,
you British bastards?
225
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,265
Paul, we talked about this.
226
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,771
Mr. Revere, we're
looking for a counterfeiter
227
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:53,482
who minted these
smelly ha'pennies.
228
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:56,193
His name is David Farnsworth.
229
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:59,446
Farnsworth? I just hired him
for the fall candlestick rush.
230
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,114
He's in the foundry
this very moment.
231
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,911
Everybody, take a franklinator.
232
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,248
Aw, I got a chipmunk.
233
00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:19,883
Leela: Hee-ya!
234
00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:21,301
Uh, what?...?
235
00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:23,345
David Farnsworth, I presume?
236
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,222
I is Davy Farnsworth.
237
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:29,518
Foof. You're a disgrace
to the very name, Farnsworth.
238
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,979
Look out! He's got
a bezelling planisher.
239
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,146
That's right.
240
00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:34,815
Who wants to be bevehed?
241
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,703
You idiot. I'm not a Cannon.
242
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:54,793
Huh. I guess I am a Cannon.
243
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,963
Time to prune the family tree.
244
00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,881
Wha!
245
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:06,430
Huzzah! I've saved
the Farnsworth name.
246
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,683
Urgent message for Mr. Revere.
247
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,520
"Mr. Revere, pray
do not fhit your pants.
248
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,397
"The British attack has begun.
249
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,692
"Cross the river and watch
for my signal." I must ride.
250
00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:25,365
He has so much stuff.
He won't miss this.
251
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:32,330
Let's burn these counterfeits and paddle
the next swan boat the hell out of Boston.
252
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:33,581
Here you go.
253
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:34,666
Thanks.
254
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:39,963
Say, where did you
get that lantern?
255
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,631
From that old church
to the north.
256
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:46,011
They had two burning, so I
figured they wouldn't miss one.
257
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:49,389
"One if by land, two if by sea."
258
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,853
The British are coming!
The British are coming!
259
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,563
Byland.byland.
260
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,566
Gotta treat this ocd.
Gotta treat this ocd.
261
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,283
Fry, you dope.
262
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,744
You've really screwed
the granny this time.
263
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,871
History needed
that second lantern.
264
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,998
We'd better stop
Paul revere before...
265
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,831
I guess everything
worked out jolly all right, eh, guvnor?
266
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,817
What's
with the fruity accent, ducky?
267
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,676
Bollocks, I got it, too.
268
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:29,163
Where's
all the presidents heads, then?
269
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,850
I say. Appears
we've changed history too much.
270
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:37,521
Disaster of nightmarish
proportions and what not.
271
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:41,858
Quite.
272
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,520
Where have you blokes been?
273
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:02,546
You nearly missed elevenses.
274
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,649
Who's for tea and shmavouries?
275
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:07,551
What in bloody hell's
going on around here, isays.
276
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:11,638
Indeed. What's become
of the dear old usa?
277
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:12,806
Beg pardon?
278
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,432
The revolution?
279
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,060
1776 and what all?
280
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:21,648
Oh! The colonial dustup. Well,
there's nothing we brits enjoy more
281
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:26,027
than a good documentary. Turn
on the tellyvisor, Dr. Zoidsmythe.
282
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,821
I'll dial up the beeb.
283
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,615
They've always got
a nice docky-wocky on.
284
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,744
Announcer: The
vanquished pride of the Yankees,
285
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,664
or, america the dutiful.
286
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:42,085
North America, or west
britannia as we now call it,
287
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:45,630
has been under British rule
for 1,400 years,
288
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:49,843
all thanks to a nutter
known as wrong-way revere.
289
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:53,138
The British are
coming by land, by land.
290
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,100
But we came by sea, we did.
291
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,519
Surprised the yanks
at Lexington,
292
00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:03,023
ending the rebellion
with nary a kipper scuffed.
293
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:04,900
Scuffed kippers, anyone?
294
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,943
Right kind of you, mum.
295
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,405
The humiliated conspirators
296
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:13,366
were forced to sign
the declaration of dependence,
297
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,745
proclaiming
British rule forever.
298
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:21,208
Meanwhile, a loyal brit by
the name of David Farnsworth,
299
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,919
tracked down the traitor,
George Washington,
300
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:26,796
and bravely smothered him
with his wig.
301
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,467
Oh, criminy.
302
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:34,846
In gratitude, king George
named Farnsworth a Duke
303
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:39,226
and granted his family massive
landholdings in the colonies.
304
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:44,105
Blimey. I've never felt so
ashamed to be a Farnsworth.
305
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:47,525
Will my lord be returning to his
massive landholdings for luncheon?
306
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:48,777
Huh, what??
307
00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,997
I know we're ladies in waiting,
but what are we waiting for?
308
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:04,167
How should I know?
Just shut up and wait.
309
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:07,921
Say, how is it that
we've got socialized medicine,
310
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,131
but me teeth
still look like this?
311
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:13,093
Can't we just go back in time,
and set things right again?
312
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:17,722
Don't want to. Rather nice, living
under the crown and so forth.
313
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,224
Rather.
314
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:23,019
What's more, couldn't go back
even if we wanted to.
315
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:27,357
No more crystalline opal left
in all the world, don't you know?
316
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:32,570
My lord, the queen is here
for her weekly visit.
317
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:36,408
The queen?
Sounds most satisfactory.
318
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,118
All of you, out!
319
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:42,706
Right then. Let's go play
some quoits, whatever that is.
320
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:47,127
Presenting the queen of england,
321
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,922
america, and two
parking spaces in Tokyo.
322
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:53,842
Where's me consort at?
323
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,969
Consort?
324
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,930
That's right, love.
For centuries,
325
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:02,183
the Farnsworth gentlemen has
provided service to the queen.
326
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,353
Now, close your eyes
and think of england.
327
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,649
I say.
What's that in your crown?
328
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:13,945
You mean the andamooka opal?
That's the most precious gem in all the...
329
00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:17,198
Yes. Three rubbers on the hobb.
330
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:22,996
Stop him! He crowned me in
the knickers and nicked me crown.
331
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:29,252
Freeze. Or we'll be forced
to continue chasing you,
332
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,087
since we don't carry guns.
333
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,797
Indubitably.
334
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:37,677
We've got to go back in time
and set things straight!
335
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:39,846
Hurry up and lick
Washington's head again!
336
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:43,933
We can't. There's no George
Washington nor any other presidents.
337
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:47,562
What about this bloke?
He's from revolutionary times.
338
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:50,690
Farnsworth.
339
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:53,777
Hey, you're the plonkers
what candlesticked me.
340
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,153
Well, I showed you.
341
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,780
I killed George Washington,
342
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,532
and now I'm married
to one of the spice girls.
343
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:00,909
Don't rightly know which one.
344
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:04,454
Bender, fetch me
that powdered opal.
345
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:15,715
It's time to restore dignity
to the Farnsworth name.
346
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,892
There. That time I left
both lanterns in place.
347
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,312
And I hit Farnsworth
much, much harder.
348
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,980
Perhaps too hard.
349
00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:34,734
Look, all the presidents
are back. Even John Tyler.
350
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:40,532
That's the first time anyone's
spoken to me in 1,200 years.
351
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:46,121
Yes, from Chester a. Arthur to
Chester z. Arthur, they're all here.
352
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:51,334
Our republic and the Farnsworth
family name are saved.
353
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,045
And no one will ever know.
354
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:02,929
Bender: Yeah.
355
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,047
English - us - psdh
25639
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