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1
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,212
Igotone!
2
00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:47,089
Okay, kids. Put away the
dust motes till tomorrow.
3
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,341
It's story time.
4
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,303
Today's storyteller
is a space captain
5
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,805
who grew up right here
at the orphanarium.
6
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:58,392
Welcome back the bed-wetter
of building d, turanga Leela.
7
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:04,106
Hi, kids. What book would
you like me to read first?
8
00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:06,275
We don't got books no more.
9
00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:07,443
What?
10
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,611
He means "anymore."
11
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,739
Look, sometimes you got to
choose between eating and reading,
12
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,200
so they ate the books.
Just make something up.
13
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:18,704
Make something up? Um. Okay.
14
00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:22,166
Once upon a time,
there was a, uh...
15
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:23,918
Princess?
16
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,169
Yes! That!
17
00:01:26,963 --> 00:01:32,009
A one-eyed Princess
in a long, flowing tank top.
18
00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:34,679
And she lived in
a magical one-room...
19
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,763
Castle?
20
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,765
Yeah, if you believe
the listing agent.
21
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:43,145
Anyhow, one day, the
Princess went off to tell a story.
22
00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:46,482
And then, that's exactly
what she did do, that.
23
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,318
And they all lived happily
ever after. The end.
24
00:01:49,402 --> 00:01:51,779
Miss Leela? I have a question.
25
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:52,862
Yes, Albert?
26
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,573
That story was bad.
27
00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:56,200
That's not really a question.
28
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,286
That wasn't really a story.
29
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,123
I'm sorry, kids.
I'm not a natural storyteller.
30
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:05,876
But I promise, I'll make up a
better story and come back again.
31
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,211
Please don't.
32
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,879
See you soon.
33
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,261
I'm sure I've got a
great kids' story in me.
34
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:18,264
I just need to think of
three of some kind of animal.
35
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,141
Concentrate, Leela, concentrate.
36
00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:26,731
Fry, I'm writing here.
Do you have to play that?
37
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,233
Yes. It's the only song I know.
38
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:33,654
Look, friends. I accidentally
learned to tap dance.
39
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,742
Zoidberg, I'm trying to...
40
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,829
Time for my 4:21 daiquiri!
41
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,210
Guys, guys, guess who just
got commissioned as a tugboat?
42
00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,882
Oh, yeah! Pachinko break!
43
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,135
Machine: Tokyo crazy balls! Yes!
44
00:02:57,762 --> 00:03:02,266
Oh! Good, Leela, you're here.
I'd like to describe my foot pain.
45
00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:05,603
My left has a sharp,
jabbing throb near the bunion,
46
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,064
while the other's got a
searing pain like gout.
47
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,399
Maybe it's too much
albumin because of gravity...
48
00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:14,362
Ugh. Even if I had a pen, I
couldn't write under these conditions.
49
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,697
I'm going to some other planet
where I can concentrate.
50
00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:20,409
Searing, searing pain that
feels as if it were in a vice.
51
00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:26,665
Well, that was rude.
52
00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,464
Warden Vogel, I have a
new story for the children.
53
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,674
I'm sure they'll like it
more than my last one.
54
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,177
They liked hunger cramps
more than your last one.
55
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,638
Anyhow, you'll have to wait.
The kids are busy right now.
56
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,224
Is the organ-harvesting
clown here?
57
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:45,267
Nah, rusty comes on
Tuesdays now.
58
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:47,937
Today it's the owner of the
tickleodeon kids network.
59
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:51,982
Okay, kids, get ready to be
subjected to our new fall shows.
60
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:54,527
Mr. Funny-bunny here
will Gauge your reaction
61
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:57,988
by bombarding your brains
with harmless snuggle rays.
62
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:04,537
He gives me a nice, warm
feeling in my eyeballs.
63
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:11,752
Digital voice:
Popular slut club.
64
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:18,008
Oh, my god.
There's Jake finkelberg!
65
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,679
He's so hot.
I wish he wasn't my brother.
66
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:24,390
Digital voice:
Popular slut club.
67
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,189
Narrator: Look!
Up on the drive-thru menu!
68
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,818
It's captain mega meat and
his young ward, bottomless boy.
69
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,947
Hurry, captain!
A skinny kid needs our help.
70
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,615
Super-size me!
71
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:51,125
Announcer: From the "rowdy"
roddy Piper daycare center
72
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:55,171
in Glasgow, Scotland, it's
extreme toddler wrestling!
73
00:04:58,757 --> 00:04:59,967
Ahhh!
74
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:07,808
Thanks for
the brain scans, kids.
75
00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:10,186
Don't have any children
for the next couple of days.
76
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,062
All right, boys and
girls, enough fun.
77
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:15,316
Your old friend Leela is
back with a brand new story.
78
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,903
Hi. It's great to be back.
I think you'll enjoy this one.
79
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,946
Please.
80
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,407
Can't we just get
our organs harvested?
81
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,493
It's about some
cute little creatures
82
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,745
from a land
called rumbledy-hump.
83
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,915
Kids, let's meet the humplings!
84
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,796
My name is ladybuggle
and I huggle all my friends
85
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:41,509
I'm a silly spring named doingg
and my bouncing never ends
86
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,053
doingg, doingg, doingg
87
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:47,932
they call me Princess num
num I'm as sweet as sticky buns
88
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,308
I'm feffernoose.
89
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,518
Hello.
90
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,436
I'm scared of everyones
91
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,356
feffernoose. What about me?
92
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:58,192
Hey, it's garbly.
Everyone loves him
93
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,444
'cause they can't
understand him.
94
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,112
It's nice to meet you.
95
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:06,408
We're here to make you laugh and
think and smile and learn and sing
96
00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:08,160
and laugh and learn and smile
97
00:06:08,244 --> 00:06:10,287
and think and other happy things
98
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,215
Say more things like that.
99
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,550
Okey doke.
100
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:26,971
One sunny, funny day, there was an
unfamiliar visitor in rumbledy-hump.
101
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:32,643
Today we learned that folks
are not as different as they seem
102
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,645
the space gorilla's just like us
103
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,855
although I breathe chlorine
104
00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:45,072
Wow, I can't believe you
imaginated all that stuff.
105
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,658
Will you come back again
and tell us more stories,
106
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,577
and also adopt us all?
107
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:52,538
Of course
I'll tell you more stories.
108
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,957
I'll go think some up right now.
109
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:58,752
Holy moly!
110
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,630
Lady, you don't know me, but
my name is abner doubledeal.
111
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:05,092
Wait, I know you.
You're abner doubledeal.
112
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:08,012
I brain-scanned those little
nose-pickers during your story,
113
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,638
and, sister,
their enjoyment glands
114
00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:11,307
were squirting like
Broadway road kill!
115
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:13,058
Aw! They were?
116
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,935
Say, you seem like a smart Mark.
117
00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,937
How'd you like to
make it into a TV show?
118
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:20,649
Sign here on this
supercuts coupon.
119
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,401
I don't know.
120
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:25,112
Don't I need a degree to
write gibberish for toddlers?
121
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:29,158
Come on, miss Leela. Don't
be a 'fraidy cat like feffernoose.
122
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:33,704
Okay. I'll do it to show you kids
you can succeed at anything,
123
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,957
if you just
luck out hard enough.
124
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:41,420
Welcome to the glamorous,
big-money world of basic cable TV!
125
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,213
I'm going to need that pen back.
126
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:54,725
Working on a real TV show is so
exciting. I'm on a mostly natural high.
127
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,645
These costumes are gonna
make it hard to go to the bathroom.
128
00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,313
I'm not having any problem.
129
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,648
We're shooting in five minutes,
130
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:03,150
and this Leela broad hasn't
even delivered a script yet!
131
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,485
Sweet zombie Jesus!
132
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:08,989
Like it's not hard enough to make a
freakin' TV show for under 50 bucks.
133
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,493
Damn it.
I'll call you back, grandma.
134
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,495
Nice of you to show up, toots.
135
00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,658
I mean that sincerely.
It's just that I'm in showbiz.
136
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:20,626
Sorry, iwent to my quiet
place to write. Here's the script.
137
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,381
Ugh. You writers make me sick.
Nice job on the script, though.
138
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,132
Places, everyone!
139
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,347
Okay. Cheap lights.
Off-brand camera.
140
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,892
And non-union action!
141
00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:40,604
I like ice cream.
142
00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:44,900
And I like lollipops.
143
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,946
And I like you,
Princess num num.
144
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,326
I'm all iicky-sticky!
145
00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:59,873
I don't understand. When
I like something, I lick it.
146
00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:01,792
Like this raccoon.
147
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:07,881
Doingg, don't lick things
that don't want to be licked.
148
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,551
But how do I know what
to lick and what not to lick?
149
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,136
It's very simple.
150
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:18,892
Ifit's alive, don't lick it
151
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,854
like a horse, a
turtle or a cricket
152
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,397
I like turtles!
153
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,984
So, if you're not sure
if it's alive or dead
154
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:31,697
poke it with a stick
and lick the stick instead
155
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,241
now I get it!
156
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,495
Well, that's all for today.
157
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:43,250
But before we go, let's do
everything we just did two more times.
158
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,043
Leela, that was great!
159
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,380
Even I have to admire the
performance of me, bender.
160
00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:51,300
The show looks so cute.
Kids will love it!
161
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:55,804
And it looks so cruddy, their
ironic hipster parents will "love it."
162
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:58,098
Thanks, guys,
but let's be realistic.
163
00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:01,977
We all know any TV show that's
even slightly good gets canceled.
164
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,980
Sometimes two or three times.
165
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:08,400
Leela! Tomorrow's ratings just
came in from the future. We're a hit.
166
00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:11,320
What? My show is a hit?
167
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,865
What are you, deaf? It's gonna be
bigger than spongebot squarebolts.
168
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,743
I interfere with pacemakers.
169
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:20,662
Baby, I hope you
like drowning in caviar,
170
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,206
'cause that is how
you're gonna die.
171
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,841
Robot host: Welcome back to
the young people's choice awards!
172
00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:17,511
In a moment, the award
for outstanding sext message.
173
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:21,431
But first, the nominees
for best new kids' show are...
174
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,141
Yo gimme gimme,
175
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:26,770
the adventures of pit-bull
and scaredy squirrel,
176
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,022
dora the destroyer,
177
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,233
and rumbledy-hump.
178
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,361
I hope you win, Leela.
179
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,781
Thanks, fry. It's nice to have
the support of viewers like you.
180
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,199
I'm the star of the show.
181
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:40,284
Shh.
182
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:44,037
And the slurmie for best
new kids' show goes to
183
00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:47,124
turanga Leela for rumbledy-hump.
184
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,587
Announcer: This is
turanga Leela's first nomination
185
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,797
and second time in high heels.
186
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:59,219
Wow. I feel so lucky just
to have been nominated
187
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,930
alongside so
many inferior shows.
188
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,725
And to all my young friends
at the orphanarium,
189
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:08,228
thank you for inspiring me
to be your hero.
190
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,479
Slurm her!
191
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,822
So, wait. You play
a high school student
192
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,741
who's also secretly a rock star,
193
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,868
who's also secretly
a massage chair?
194
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,995
No. I play a high school student
195
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,080
who's also secretly a rock star.
196
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,166
But in real life,
I'm a massage chair.
197
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,292
Mmm.
198
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:33,545
You ever made out
with a tugboat?
199
00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:36,256
Guys, I didn't have time
to mention it up there,
200
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:39,801
but I want each of you to know
what an honor it is to work with me.
201
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:42,095
Sweet ego of montego!
202
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:44,431
Someone build a wind farm
in front of her mouth!
203
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,933
Leela, I mean this,
204
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:49,269
you're the greatest creative mind
since blah, blah, blah-bity blah.
205
00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,831
But it's 2:00 am, and you still
haven't written tomorrow's episode.
206
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,941
Well, you can't
expect me to write it here
207
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:57,110
with everyone talking so
loudly about how great I am.
208
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,278
Sorry.
209
00:12:58,362 --> 00:12:59,672
I'm taking the ship
to my quiet place
210
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:00,864
so I can be alone.
211
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,659
You non-creatives
can catch a bus home.
212
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:08,455
Non-creative? Ha! I'll have you
know I bedazzle my own underpants.
213
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,638
That was a hell of a massage.
214
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,848
Maybe the best that ever was.
215
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:28,600
Say, where are we?
216
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,438
Bender: Rumbledy-hump?
217
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,233
It's real!
218
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,944
I love eating vegetables,
don't you?
219
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,613
They're like crunchy,
green water.
220
00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:44,282
I don't like them!
They're icky-yuckie!
221
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,911
Now, now, garbly, if we
don't eat our vegetables,
222
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,788
we won't grow big and strong,
223
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,331
like feffernoose.
224
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:54,876
I have to be big and strong
to fight off the monsters.
225
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,172
Did somebody say monsters?
226
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,468
This will make a great episode.
227
00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:05,887
But talk slower,
I can't type that fast.
228
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,889
Well, well, well.
229
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,934
You didn't make up that TV show.
230
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,520
You just wrote down
what these space twerps said.
231
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:14,604
Oh, hell.
232
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,692
Leela said
a rumbledy-hump no-no!
233
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,154
Sometimes when we're mad
234
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:25,198
we say words that are bad
235
00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:35,375
And "poo-poo" and "pee-pee"
and "penis" and "gay"
236
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:39,671
those are the 98 words
we don't say
237
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,385
My god! You stole all your ideas
238
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:49,222
from those poor, innocent
creatures and hogged all the credit?
239
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,308
I underestimated you.
240
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,893
Wait. I can explain.
241
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,562
Nah, don't ruin it.
I'm loving the hypocrisy.
242
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,398
It's like catching an
evangelist in a whorehouse.
243
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:00,525
That was
the best Christmas ever.
244
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:02,027
You know I hate lying.
245
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,279
But those orphans
were so proud of me,
246
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,906
I couldn't bear
to let them down.
247
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:10,535
At least reverend pickens had the
dignity to jump out the whorehouse window
248
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,162
with his pants
around his ankles.
249
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,872
Who's your friend, Leela?
250
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,958
He sure has a shiny
metal bumbledy-boop.
251
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:19,044
They're so cute and harmless.
252
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,505
No wonder you feel safe
ripping off their act.
253
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,715
Benden
I feel bad enough already.
254
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:28,095
I'm just messing with you. I love
that you're getting rich off of them.
255
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:30,764
'Cause now I can
get rich off of you.
256
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:31,932
Oh, lord.
257
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:35,477
From now on, you give me half
the gross, or I'll blow your cover.
258
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:40,816
Fine. You'll get your cut. I don't
really care about the money anyway.
259
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:43,318
I just want to show those
poor, disadvantaged orphans
260
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,112
that they can succeedinlfie.
261
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:48,156
Ugh. You are the
worst kind of rich person.
262
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:55,038
Be it parsnips or peppers
or Kale or zucchini
263
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:58,625
I like to relax
with a spinach Martini
264
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,507
'Cause we love our vegetables
265
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,220
abner: And cut!
266
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,513
That's a wrap, everybody.
267
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,431
Ten minute break,
then we shoot season three.
268
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:21,064
Leela, you may have become
a lady gaga-esque fame hag,
269
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,734
but you sure cheered up
those orphans. Nice job.
270
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,572
Thanks so much for
inviting us to the taping.
271
00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:31,491
The kids haven't been
this excited since food day.
272
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:34,119
Thanks. They're my inspiration.
273
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:37,164
But not your only
inspiration, am I right, leels?
274
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,961
Is somebody standing on me?
275
00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:47,507
I do love inconveniencing
the underclass.
276
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:53,346
Well, we'll be on our way after we
dig through your trash for aluminum.
277
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:56,057
Okay, kids, delta pattern.
Go! Go! Go!
278
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,062
Miss Leela? Yes, Sally?
279
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:04,274
I want to show you
the story I made up.
280
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:10,030
That's gumdrop, sticky,
candycorn, sourball, and jujube.
281
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:13,992
They're brothers and sisters and
they live in butterscotch hollow.
282
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,870
Sally, that's wonderful.
283
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,623
You came up with that
yourself? Out of thin air?
284
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,083
How?
285
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:26,171
You were an orphan, and
now you're the best writer ever.
286
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,465
So I knew I could write, too.
287
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:31,051
Thank you for being my hero.
288
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:34,888
I can't do this anymore.
289
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,514
I don't blame you.
290
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:40,518
Having to wear a costume
made from a hollowed-out walrus.
291
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,812
Everyone, I have a confession.
292
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:46,691
I, turanga Leela, winner of a
young people's choice award,
293
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:50,904
a peabody Jr. and two training
emmys, am not what I appear to be.
294
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,697
There's something
I need to show you.
295
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,157
Uh-oh.
296
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,084
Continuing my confession, this
is the hardest thing I've ever done.
297
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,003
Harder than creating the
bestest show in the world?
298
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:09,547
I didn't create anything.
I stole it.
299
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,883
Stealing is
a form of creativity.
300
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:14,844
No, it isn't. Guys, come on out.
301
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:19,181
Holy moly again.
302
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,850
Hello, Leela.
303
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:24,854
I was just telling my friends how
they shouldn't eat food off the floor.
304
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,273
Should we sing a song about it?
305
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,440
Yes, please.
306
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:28,775
No need, ladybuggle.
307
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,277
Say, what's going on here?
308
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:33,780
This planet is
the real rumbledy-hump,
309
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:36,199
and these creatures
are the real humplings.
310
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:39,577
All I did was write down their
adorably repetitious hijinks.
311
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:41,496
You lied?
312
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:45,458
Like doingg did when he
stole garbly's pet pinecone?
313
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,252
You told them about that?
314
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,462
I should have told
the truth right away.
315
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,966
These simple prairie folk have
a simple prairie-ish life here,
316
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,468
and I was wrong to
exploit it for profit.
317
00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:59,347
I'm as sad as
an upside-down smile.
318
00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:00,557
You mean a frown?
319
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,811
We didn't have
a word for it, until now.
320
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:08,648
To think I put on an unflattering
cupcake costume for you.
321
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,942
To think I borrowed
money from you.
322
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,445
I was going to
ask you to marry me.
323
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:17,824
Iguessifyou can't make
up stories, I can't neither.
324
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:21,786
I deserve this. And
more. Keep it coming.
325
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,705
Wait a second.
326
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,832
As a big Hollywood TV producer,
327
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,251
I think I know how to
remedy this ethical lapse.
328
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:37,010
So if you don't want a
tapeworm or intestinal bug
329
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,180
don't eat pastrami
that fell on the rug
330
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,015
and cut!
331
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,351
Ta-da! We got us a reality show.
332
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:46,728
No writers, no
actors, no problem.
333
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,521
Doubledeal, this is disgraceful.
334
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:51,649
You can't just rip off their
real lives and put it on TV.
335
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,402
Who said anything
about ripping them off?
336
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:55,570
I did.
337
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,738
I'm paying them.
338
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,657
Gather around, gang.
Here are your paychecks.
339
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:05,330
I can finally
afford my speech therapy.
340
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:08,625
And the health plan
covers my generic Prozac.
341
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:13,380
Electricity, plumbing, ourhves
are a jillion times better.
342
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:16,091
And it's all
thanks to you, Leela.
343
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,551
Don't thank me.
I should be punished.
344
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,638
I've corrupted you and taught
the orphans a terrible lesson.
345
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,099
What orphans?
The kids were all adopted.
346
00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,643
They were? By who?
347
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:30,063
Come on, kids, let's get this place
cleaned up for the next episode.
348
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,958
Albert, pick up that pastrami and
put it back on the craft services table.
349
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,317
You're the boss, daddy.
350
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,319
Oh, god, what have I done?
351
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:39,906
You've given us a new father
and a full-time job,
352
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:42,075
which is more
than most kids have.
353
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,536
But...
We love it here, miss Leela.
354
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:48,039
This is the funnest planet
in the whole world.
355
00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:50,458
Don't hug me! I've
done a horrible thing!
356
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:53,795
For god's sake, somebody
teach me alesson!
357
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:59,300
We love Leela! We love
Leela! We love Leela!
358
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:01,094
Leela: No!
359
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,887
Kids: We love Leela!
We love Leela!
360
00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,640
We love Leela!
361
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,047
English - us - psdh
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