Original subtitles

♪

Dave: Here we go. You got the lambs?

Terry: Yeah. Just one thing--

why, exactly, are we using lambs?

Dave: It's symbolism, dummy. The lambs are Krapopolites.

The wolves are us, the Athena Boys,

and we will lead them like lambs to the slaughter

if they don't bow down to Athena.

Man: Sorry. Just checking.

Do wolves lead lambs to slaughter?

Terry: Yeah, and you know it was a real pain

to get all those wolves.

What happened to killing livestock, raiding silos, fires?

Dave: Any group of knuckleheads could just kill lambs.

This makes a statement.

Terry: But won't they just think it's wolves?

Dave: Well, if they do, that's on them.

Terry: Yeah. I just think we should be way more intentional

about the statement that we're making.

Dave: Save it for next time. Bolt. Bolt!

Men: [Shout]

Tyrannis: Mummy, stop that. My feet were clean ages ago.

Stupendous: Morning, sunshine. I caught more Athena Boys.

Tyrannis: The ones who sow chaos in cities for Athena's glory?

What do they do this time, kill some sheep?

Terry: It was symbolism. Tyrannis: For what?

Terry: Honestly, I was confused, too.

Stupendous: Terry?

But you're one of my best guys. Why would you do this?

Terry: My love for the many times we've chilled

and relaxed together is second only to my allegiance to Athena.

Stupendous: Throw them in the dungeon, the dirty one.

Tyrannis: The dirty one?

But Terry was with you when you got your first wolf sleeve.

Stupendous: In battle, you have friends and enemies,

no middle ground.

There goes the third best friend

and second worst sex buddy I ever had.

Ty, I think you have a problem here.

Tyrannis: Yes. I do.

You're making a bigger deal of some fringe wackos than I would,

and I have a big day tomorrow,

so could you please let me sleep?

Stavros, the famous lute player, is in town.

Stupendous: How often do you dream

about Mom washing your feet?

Tyrannis: It's more of a nightmare, really.

Stupendous: You seem to be enjoying it.

Tyrannis: That's why it's a nightmare.

♪

Men: ♪ Uh

♪

♪ Uh

♪ Uh

♪ Uh uh uh whoo!

Tyrannis: Don't worry, only a little further

to the Athena Boys' hiding place.

Stupendous: So when we get there,

I can go leash off, right?

Tyrannis: Are you generally leashed?

Stupendous: Yeah. I'm always digging my fingernails

into my palm to remind me not to go full Stup.

I have a lot of anger.

Tyrannis: OK, so I may have been exaggerating

when I said where we were going,

but I think you'll like this even better.

Stupendous: Better than going leash off on the Athena Boys?

Tyrannis: Maybe.

Stupendous: Oh, no, no, no.

Is this for that blind guy with the lute?

Tyrannis: His name is Stavros, and his lack of sight

only improves his miraculous sense of hearing,

and I'm already late for the show.

Stupendous: Ty, there are dissidents in the city,

and you took the head of the military to a concert?

Tyrannis: Joy persists in the face of chaos.

Stupendous: Do you realize what a bad look this is?

Can you at least pretend to take the situation seriously?

Tyrannis: It's not even entirely clear to me

what the situation is...

Stupendous: Ty--

Tyrannis: but--yes, yes-- of course

I will take it seriously, and I will not look

like I'm not taking it seriously, either.

Now can I stand on your shoulders?

Stupendous: Not in those shoes.

Enjoy your dumb lute fest. I've got to defend your city.

Tyrannis: I will enjoy the show,

but I will not get you a souvenir vase.

Alexi: Hey, no cutting.

What's a barkless freak like you doing at a Stavros concert?

Tyrannis: His music isn't just for wood nymphs.

"Lute Goat Fable" changed my life,

and I think there's been a mix-up.

I need the king line, the line for king,

so no line, just--zzzzzpit!-- right to the front.

Alexi: You got ears where your branch should be or something?

Back of the line!

Tyrannis: You've got ears, too, and you're not a tree.

Stavros: ♪ If peace fell down in the forest ♪

♪ And no one was around to hear ♪

♪ It would sound like love

[Cheering and applause]

Nymph: I mean, an entire lyrical story where nobody dies.

He's a genius.

Tyrannis: He's calling them songs.

Mind if I climb you?

Can't tell if you're saying no

or just going still so I can climb you.

Athena: Ty, is that you?

Tyrannis: Athena?

Athena: What? Who? No. Get serious.

You're right. It's me--Athena. I'm incognito.

Who wants special treatment at a Stavros show, right?

Tyrannis: I don't know. A goddess maybe?

Athena: Or a king.

Wouldn't have pegged you as a Stavros fan.

Tyrannis: I'm a man of many interests--

lyrical lute, defending my city from saboteurs,

not dying in a spaceship you launched me in.

Athena: Yeah. Well, I'll let you enjoy the show in peace.

Tyrannis: Yeah.

I'll leave you alone, you leave me alone.

Athena: Fine.

Tyrannis: Perfect.

All: ♪ Fight fire with friendship ♪

♪ Go up to the flame and hold it close ♪

♪ Friendship never burns if you hold it tight ♪

♪ Pick up your heart and put down the fight ♪

♪

Shlub: There you are, darling.

You're just in time for your evening foot rub.

Deliria: Oh, I can't. I'm off for the evening.

Shlub: Good.

Well, should I have the servants take the foot rub to go?

We'll have a pedicure picnic.

I've been meaning to feed you grapes.

Deliria: That sounds nice, but--

Shlub: But what?

Deliria: But nothing.

I just have something else I want to do.

Shlub: Should I have them do manicures instead?

Deliria: I'm afraid you don't understand, my love.

I have plans.

Shlub: Well, I could come with you if you--

Deliria: No, Schlub. This is my me time.

Worker ant exit.

Shlub: I may not be a mind reader,

but I know when I'm being asked to pursue.

Hippocampus: Sounds like she wants to be alone for a while.

Shlub: So, what, I'm supposed to just take

what your mother says at face value?

Hippocampus: Yes.

Shlub: Oh, Hippo, you have so much to learn about love.

Hippocampus: Sure, Dad,

as long as I get to test out this procedure.

Shlub: [Gulp]

Mm, not feeling anything.

That's because I still have to do this.

Shlub: Uh!

Hippocampus: Perfect.

Shlub: No, it isn't. I look nothing like an ant.

Hippocampus: I broke the laws of nature and made you tiny.

What do you want, a costume, too?

Shlub: Could we try that?

Tyrannis: When he went into that sistrum breakdown

in "Forest of Hugs"--

Athena: Oh, I know.

I almost lost it, and I've heard Apollo and Pan's jam sessions.

Tyrannis: It's like he's speaking to my soul.

Athena: None of the other gods really get Stav.

It's nice to have someone to talk to about him.

Tyrannis: I mean, of all the people in the world to run into

at a Stavros concert, it had to be you.

Athena: It is sort of nice, though.

Dave: King Tyrannis, we heard you'd be here.

We wanted to make sure you got our message,

and by message, we mean we're gonna beat you up.

Tyrannis: Yep.

I was just heading home to think about that message.

Great seeing you guys.

Dave: Rrgh...

Tyrannis: Aah!

Oh, my God, am I dead?

Is this what it's like, just life but higher up?

Athena: Looked like you could use a ride.

Now we can go over his setlist.

Tyrannis: Thank you, but those were your boys.

Aren't you part of this?

Athena: I barely know those guys.

Sure, they like me.

Lots of weirdos do stuff in my name.

You get it? You're king.

With respect and power come creeps.

Tyrannis: Right, but as long as they're threatening

everything I stand for, or whatever it is they're doing--

I'm not entirely clear on it either, to be honest--

but my sister feels very strongly about it

and wants me to take it seriously.

Athena: We shouldn't be seen together. I get it.

Can you imagine if your mom knew we were hanging out?

Tyrannis: Oh, God.

Athena: I almost want to see that.

Tyrannis: Oh, no, no, no. Secret friendship.

Athena: OK, OK, secret friendship.

Both: ♪ The trees and the rocks and the rivers are friends ♪

♪ The clouds in the sky and the creatures are friends ♪

♪ There's nothing in the world that isn't a friend ♪

♪ Because friends and not having friends are friends ♪

Tyrannis: Stup, you know Athena, my new...friend.

Are you--

Oh, boy.

Tyrannis: ♪ Hey, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

Stupendous: Ty, you cannot be friends with Athena.

Tyrannis: Where's the bread?

Stupendous: Those frigging Athena Boys slashed

bags of wheat as a threat to Demeter worshipers.

They're saying every slash represents a wound

in the city's wheat supply.

Tyrannis: That's not what it represents.

That's what it is.

There's no abstraction. Where's the metaphor?

Stupendous: So they're not great abstractors.

There's still no bread.

Surprised your friend didn't tell you,

or were you too busy hearing

about famous battles set to harp?

Tyrannis: Athena and I don't talk about that stuff.

It's a marker of maturity

to have a friendship with boundaries...

and Stavros doesn't sing about war.

Hippocampus: Dad?

Stupendous: Does Stavros sing about a king being so stupid,

his whole city falls apart?

Tyrannis: That doesn't sound like a very good song.

Hippocampus: Whew...

Stupendous: I'm telling you, Ty,

this friendship is gonna be a problem.

Tyrannis: I've got my eye on the Athena Boys.

Don't you worry.

Stupendous: Just promise me

you will not hang out with her again.

Tyrannis: I promise.

Athena: So when he says, "What if the children

grew as tall as trees?" he's talking about us.

We're the trees, or at least that's my theory.

Tyrannis: Brilliant. I've never thought of that.

Athena: OK. Get ready to lose your freaking mind, dude.

Here it is--my Stavros cave.

Tyrannis: No way.

You have a limited-edition tapestry

from his Dancing Dolphins Tour?

They only made, like--

Athena: 40 of them? Yeah.

Tyrannis: I hate to put my king hat back on, but--

Athena: Your crown?

Tyrannis: Right. Well, those boys of yours--

Athena: Ty, I told you.

I don't have anything to do with them.

Tyrannis: I know. I know.

Athena: Can't we just be Stav bros?

Tyrannis: Yes, of course, but I'm also king,

and my sister thinks I need to be

taking more of a public stand.

Athena: Maybe you need to worry a little less

about what everybody else thinks.

You gotta believe in you.

Tyrannis: "You gotta believe in you."

I like that. Is that Stavros?

Athena: Yeah, isn't it? I think so.

Tyrannis: Deep cuts.

Athena: Oh, that reminds me. Can I show you another secret?

Tyrannis: The original toga from his first-ever show?

I've only ever seen it on vases and in my dreams.

Athena: Yep. I had my boys get that one for me.

You don't want to know who they killed for it.

I'm kidding. Ha ha!

Tyrannis: Ha. Of course.

♪

Shlub: Have you seen my wife?

Ant: I don't have any drugs, man.

[Laughter]

Deliria: Patty, you're making my abdomen hurt.

Patty: I swear, the whole time she's talking to me,

sap all over her mandible.

Our queen is a hot mess.

Dolores: I wouldn't mind being queen.

At least she doesn't have to put up with crap

from that loser Randall.

Deliria: You know I'd kill that guy for you.

Winnifred: Deliria, there's a guy here to see you,

says he's your husband.

Shlub: Surprise. Did you miss me?

Deliria: Why are you here?

Shlub: Are you not happy to see me?

Deliria: Well, I did tell you not to come,

but now that you're here, why are you here?

Shlub: Taking an interest in your hobbies.

I see that you're an ant,

so then how may I be of thorax-sistance--

give them fire, eat their young?

I'm here to support all your kinks.

Deliria: It's nothing like that.

All I usually do is float around, be adored.

I just come down here to be a worker ant,

do some real work--

you know, lift 20 times my body weight with my girls.

It's a nice change of pace.

Shlub: Oh, yes. I see.

Well, that sounds like its own kind of fun.

Deliria: Oh, never mind.

Shlub: No, no. I think it's marvelous.

I'll push the grain with you.

Deliria: If you really want to join in, get with the male ants.

They're in line to copulate with the queen.

Shlub: Copulation line?

Well, that sounds too good to be true.

Are you sure you're not just trying to get rid of me?

Deliria: Honestly, it seems like I couldn't if I tried.

Manus: ♪ Doodle ee deedle da doodle la doodle la ♪

♪ Deedle la diddle la diddle la doodle la did ♪

At this point, he sings...

♪ very high...

and then the strings go...

♪ Doodly, doodly doodly--

Athena: Manus, volume down.

Manus: ♪ Diddly doodle la diddly... ♪

Tyrannis: I've spent years looking

for a Work-Man who knows Stavros.

You rule.

Athena: It's so nice to just be able

to do something low-key like this.

Usually with kings, it's all, "Sponsor me. Protect my wife."

Tyrannis: That's me-- Low-Key Ty,

no wife at all so far, but fingers crossed.

Is it a little crowded?

Why don't we just, um, hang out over here?

Athena: See, this is what I mean.

You don't even need to be seen with me.

It's so refreshing.

Tyrannis: I don't just not need to be seen with you.

I need not to be seen with you.

Sorry. That came out worse than I expected.

Athena: Because of the Athena Boys.

Tyrannis: No. It's... because of the Athena Boys, yes.

Man: King Tyrannis, they've blockaded the river.

We can't get goods in or out.

Tyrannis: Who has?

Man: Uh, the Athena Boys.

Tyrannis: Uh, all right.

Well, of course, I will take care of it.

Man: Oh, great.

Tyrannis: What's that supposed to mean?

Man: You've done a great job so far.

Tyrannis: Ouch.

Athena: All right. This is just sad. Let me help.

Tyrannis: No. What do you mean? How?

Athena: What is Stavros all about?

Tyrannis: Friendship, dolphins, tree sexuality.

Athena: Exactly, and peace.

People of Krapopolis...

Tyrannis: Um...

Athena: I, the mighty Athena, will host a concert in your city

along with King Tyrannis, a concert for peace,

a peace concert with Stavros.

Tyrannis: He's actually really underrated.

Stupendous: Seriously, Ty? You're still friends?

Tyrannis: Aah!

Winnifred: So he came all this way from another colony

just to find you?

Dolores: That is so romantic, Deliria,

even if his thorax and antennae do seem kind of wonky.

Winnifred: So he's not the most handsome guy. He's nice.

That's gotta count for something.

Dolores: I wish I could find an ant like that.

Deliria: Of course you could. You're gorgeous.

Patty: Are you kidding me, Dolores?

Winnifred: I wish I had your petiole.

Dolores: My colony sense. Something's wrong.

Winnifred: I feel it, too.

Shlub's in trouble, and the queen is dead

from excessive sexual pleasure.

Shlub: I don't understand. You want to go home already?

Deliria: Thank you, but I think I've had enough for today.

Shlub: But I was the best stud ant in the colony.

I thought you'd at least be impressed.

Deliria: The point wasn't to be the best, Shlub.

The point was to be completely unremarkable.

Shlub: Well, that'll be hard now.

Deliria: What do you mean?

[Gasps]

♪

Ants: Hail the queen! Hail the queen!

Deliria: Stop. Stop!

I'm not in line for the throne. Put me down.

♪

Tyrannis: I can't believe this--

Stavros performing just for my city,

and this will surely bring peace.

Of course our friendship isn't a problem.

It's the solution.

Athena: Plus...Stavros concert.

Both: Stavros!

Man: Yes! Woman: I love you.

Stavros: Thank you to King Tyrannis

and Athena for organizing this concert.

Tyrannis: He knows my name.

Stavros: As you may know, I am a blind man.

It is part of why I am so close to the spirit of sound.

Tyrannis: That's a Stavros Fact. He's telling us a Stavros Fact.

Stavros: I must use my platform as a traveling lute player

and ally to tree nymphs everywhere for good.

Tyrannis: And is he doing a moral?

I love it when he does a moral.

Stavros: When you have a position of power,

when you are a public figure such as myself,

you must use it to condemn violence and stand for peace.

Athena: Public figure? He's not that popular.

Stavros: All this conflict-- brother versus brother,

Athena Boys and Krapopolis...

Athena: Play songs!

Tyrannis: Do you not like the moral?

Condemning violence doesn't seem

like it should be too much of a problem.

Stavros: What do you say, King Tyrannis?

Surely any fan of mine will not stand with the Athena Boys.

Man: I don't like that.

Tyrannis: Now hold on.

I'm not standing with the Athena Boys.

I'm just standing here with Athena.

Man: That's half the name!

Tyrannis: OK. I get how it's a problem.

All right. Well, this isn't that complicated.

Violence is wrong,

but the Athena Boys aren't calling for violence.

Stavros: They demand the murder or enslavement

of all who deny the supremacy of Athena.

Tyrannis: They do?

Is that what they've been asking for?

Athena: I don't know. Maybe.

It's hard for me to keep track of these things.

Man: It was painted on the manifesto vase.

Woman: Stavros is blind, and he knew that.

Tyrannis: Well, that's bad.

I don't believe in that, but if I had to say,

you gotta believe in you.

Men: You gotta believe in you!

Athena: Ohh. Did they come up with that?

You know what? Yeah.

That may have been the Athena Boys' rallying cry,

not a Stavros lyric.

Sorry, man.

Stavros: ♪ If peace fell down in the forest ♪

♪ And no one was around to hear ♪

♪ It would sound like love

Tyrannis: Athena?

[People shouting]

Tyrannis: Right.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Just trying to get over to the--

Stupendous: Ty, little help here? Arrgh...

Tyrannis: Nngh...uh!

Stupendous: Agh! That guy was surprisingly strong.

Tyrannis: Don't you like war? Isn't this fun for you?

Stupendous: This isn't war, Ty.

It's defense against radical lunatics,

lunatics you called into action

after declaring your friendship with their goddess.

Tyrannis: Just because we hung out a few times

doesn't mean I agree with everything she's done.

Stupendous: God, you're pathetic.

Tyrannis: All right.

Maybe my inaction has made the situation slightly worse,

but it's not like every friendship

has to say some big thing about who we are.

Stupendous: Duck! Hwah!

Tyrannis: I mean, Athena and I connected in a whole other way

about a whole other thing.

What good is civilization if you can't appreciate

the higher things with friends?

Being able to connect with someone about Stavros was--

Stupendous: Duck. Tyrannis: Aah.

Stupendous: No, Ty.

"Duck, so small treading on the water.

Your ripples deep can be seen."

Tyrannis: "Even causing change you didn't mean."

Yeah. You're right.

I'll find Athena and deal with this.

Wait. You listen to Stavros?

Stupendous: Some of his stuff is OK,

but if you bring it up, I'm denying it

and punching you in the head!

Tyrannis: Yeesh. All right. Sold.

♪

Ant: It's my sworn duty to produce

more workers for the colony,

but I wouldn't mind taking a little time with it

because I know I'm dying right after.

Deliria: Mm, no.

Shlub: There you are.

I'm a little winded, but I'm ready to hear you out.

Deliria: I don't want to explain myself.

I just want to go home and be alone.

All: The queen cannot leave the colony.

Deliria: Oh, please. Think for yourself for once.

Between the lot of you, you must have

at least one tiny, little brain.

♪

Ants: The queen must return the crown.

Shlub: How about making us big again?

Deliria: I can't make one of us big before the other,

or we'll both be crushed.

I wasn't planning on someone else being here.

Ants: The queen cannot leave the colony.

Shlub: Huh!

Ants: Hail the queen. Hail the queen.

Hail the queen. Hail the queen.

Shlub: That'll do.

Ants: Hail the queen. Hail the queen.

Shlub: How much further do we have to run?

Deliria: I think we're far enough apart now.

If not, it'll serve you right.

Disappointed wife and bad listener husband exit.

Shlub: Maybe we can try again,

make you queen of another species.

Deliria: That's not the point.

Shlub: I'm sensing you're angry. Can't we talk about it?

Deliria: Ohh, I don't even know how to say this.

Sometimes I just want to be away from you.

There are parts of me I've never really let anyone see,

and, honestly, I like it that way.

It keeps things more interesting.

Shlub: And you thought I'd judge you?

I've heard you fart.

Deliria: Gods don't fart.

Shlub: Sure.

How about I leave you alone, and you can go and check on Dolores?

Deliria: Honestly, I visit a new colony every time.

A few days is like 40 years with those bitches.

[People shouting]

♪

Stavros: [Whimpers]

Tyrannis: Stavros, there you are.

Stavros: I felt their eyes on me with desire to kill.

Tyrannis: Thank God they didn't.

Stavros: They knew my wife's name.

Tyrannis: I didn't even know you had a wife.

Stavros: I don't tell them

so the tree nymphs can believe we will wed.

Athena: Oh, Ty, there you are.

Should I take us all somewhere safe, finish the show?

Stavros: Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Stupendous: Raagh!

Tyrannis: I'm sorry. I can't.

I actually don't know if we can be friends.

Athena: Seriously? I put on a whole concert for you.

You're the one who got all weird about being seen with me

when your citizens started noticing.

Tyrannis: Well, maybe that's because of, you know,

the cult you incited that's terrorizing the city.

Athena: I really don't see what that has to do with us.

Can't we just chill?

Tyrannis: Stavros says, "When the dolphin showed integrity,

its shriek was loud as fire."

I'm the dolphin.

Athena: Oh, come on, Ty. We're above this. Let it go.

Tyrannis: That's the thing, though.

I'm not. I'm mortal.

I can't just make all this go away with a poof.

Athena: Is that what this is about?

You really just needed a favor? Fine.

♪

[Men screaming]

Tyrannis: Oh, my God, did you just kill them?

Athena: I don't know. They went somewhere or disintegrated.

Isn't that what you wanted?

Tyrannis: You don't know if you killed those people?

Athena: No. You're right. We can't be friends.

You're so obsessed with your city, it's kind of irritating.

Tyrannis: Yeah. Well, someone has to be responsible.

It's my job.

Athena: Well, we'll always have Stavros.

Tyrannis: I think this has sort of ruined that for me, too.

Athena: Whatever.

I'll probably just imprison him in a tower,

turn him into an annoying bird or something.

Tyrannis: When I hear it, I'll think of you,

"its shriek as loud as fire."

Stavros: Proud.

I said the dolphin's shriek was "proud as fire."

You misheard.

Tyrannis: Really? That's kind of dumb.

Athena: Yeah. What does that even mean?

Stavros: The trees get it.

Athena: [Hoots]

Stavros: Hwah!

Tyrannis: Seriously? Oh, come on.

Prospector: Stavros was at the height of his talent

and only soaring higher.

He was suddenly playing for crowds of thousands,

but he was an artist of his time.

Once people started memorizing songs, singing them back,

let's just say the lyrics, they didn't really hold up.

New guys came in.

They were more popular,

cooler with the kids,

so little of his stuff even survived.

Once he stopped playing that night in Krapopolis,

it was like he disappeared, and no one's seen him since,

but that's not why I'm here.

I just wanted to pop in and make sure you all knew

in case anybody was wondering whether I could climb

through TV screens and out of your phone

like that gal from that Japanese picture,

better believe I can and will now that I've seen you.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, and mirrors, too.

Dan Harmon: Did you get any of that?

Voice: Bento.