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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:56,100 --> 00:01:02,100
The.Forbidden.Legend.Sex.And.Chopsticks
金瓶梅Ⅰ
2
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我是西門慶，清河縣人
3
00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:16,040
我一出生，就已經是個富家子弟
4
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,370
我爹叫西門達
5
00:01:18,750 --> 00:01:21,410
我從來沒有見過我爹幹活
6
00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:24,080
他整天躲在書房裡，不知道他在幹什麼
7
00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:25,790
而且不准我進去
8
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除此以外，他就陪二娘和三娘到處玩
9
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:33,910
還有，他吃的東西都只准他自己吃
10
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,080
看…他拿著那條
11
00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:37,870
我也不知道是什麼東西
12
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:40,950
他告訴我，只有男人才可以吃
13
00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:43,040
小孩子不准吃的
14
00:01:43,910 --> 00:01:47,040
我看他吃得津津有味，很好吃的樣子
15
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:50,080
到底是不是真的那麼好吃？
16
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:55,240
看，現在端起杯子的不是我二娘
17
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:58,700
旁邊拿調羹的，也不是我三娘
18
00:01:58,830 --> 00:01:59,660
說真的
19
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我也是今天早上才第一次見到她們倆
20
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,830
不知道，我長大以後…
21
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,910
會不會像我爹這樣，吃這種東西？
22
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,580
我爹從來不准我進書房
23
00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:14,120
他說，長大了才可以進去
24
00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:18,410
終於有一天，我忍不住偷偷跑進去
25
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原來裡面有好多書
26
00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:22,370
還有很多一條條泡在酒裡
27
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不知道是什麼來的
28
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有的應該是爹每天早上吃的東西
29
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還有，牆上畫了許多不穿衣服的人
30
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,200
但不知道他們在做什麼的畫
31
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,240
後來，我才知道…
32
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原來爹是宋代的性學專家
33
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:43,950
他打破了禮教的約束
34
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努力追求人類應有的性享受
35
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:53,330
雖然如此，我爹還是一個情種
36
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,950
他對我娘的感情，一直都很好
37
00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:00,200
可惜，娘很年輕就染上了不治之症
38
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,240
我娘很漂亮，是一個大美人
39
00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:08,910
她病了很久
40
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,450
但是，爹依然每晚都在床邊哄她開心
41
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陪她說話
42
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直到有一天的晚上
43
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相公，不要難過
44
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,200
我的時間到了
45
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,830
我沒辦法治好夫人的病
46
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,700
覺得好慚愧
47
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我這一生能夠享受到
48
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世間女子得不到的I閨房歡樂
49
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已經很滿足
50
00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:49,450
你走了以後，我會終生不娶
51
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:55,370
那麼慶兒不用再給人欺負
52
00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:57,830
我有個要求…
53
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,950
只要做得到，我一定答應你
54
00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:04,410
給我最後一次
55
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,700
去到極樂境界
56
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,080
但你現在的體力，恐怕…
57
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,580
給我，我要
58
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:41,870
我現在用回魂針
59
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,910
在半個時辰內，會令你迴光反照
60
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,330
但是以後…
61
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:25,120
我早就知道，你一直躲在門口偷看
62
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,580
你娘已經去世
63
00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:30,240
你跟我來
64
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你爹花了一生的時間
65
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:52,830
去鑽研男女間陰陽之道的真諦
66
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:57,910
等你長大以後，爹就會全部傳授給你
67
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:02,580
但是這種事，在世俗人的眼中
68
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:05,120
是屬於邪惡和不道德
69
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:07,450
書房裡的所有事情
70
00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:11,200
除了你我，不要跟第三者說
71
00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:12,240
明白嗎？
72
00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:13,700
明白
73
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,200
自古以來，就已經有《素女經》
74
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:21,200
教授男女交合之道
75
00:09:21,370 --> 00:09:22,950
這裡的春宮圖
76
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,330
內有交合姿態九十九式
77
00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:29,330
你日後就會慢慢體會到
78
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,450
爹
79
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,290
怎樣才能令她們滿足？
80
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,700
問得好
81
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,080
要令她們滿足，是有很多學問
82
00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:41,700
包括身體的強壯度
83
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,330
以及陽物的硬度、持久度
84
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:48,290
但是最重要是「攻心」這兩個字
85
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,830
攻心？
86
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,490
一個女人如果愛你的話
87
00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:55,240
你在房中與她交合時
88
00:09:55,450 --> 00:09:58,080
就會將強度放大三倍
89
00:09:58,290 --> 00:09:59,950
做一柱香的時間
90
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,410
她就有了三柱香的滿足
91
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:05,330
那怎樣才能讓女人愛我？
92
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:08,910
其實男女之道與兵法一樣
93
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,240
所謂知己知彼，百戰百勝
94
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:21,080
御女之術，武功占很重要的地位
95
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,950
一個男人要武功好，要打敗敵人
96
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:29,080
就一定要拳腳夠硬
97
00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:34,490
要打敗女人，令她對你死心塌地
98
00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:37,120
要做到這個境界…
99
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,120
就要練到陽物夠硬
100
00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:42,910
硬得像鐵一樣
101
00:10:43,290 --> 00:10:44,370
怎麼練？
102
00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:47,160
先練掌上壓，每日一千次
103
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:51,410
指上壓！
104
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:54,200
成功之後就練指上壓
105
00:10:58,370 --> 00:10:59,410
根上壓！
106
00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:01,790
最後就練根上壓
107
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,790
爹，你的洞好深呀
108
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:15,580
只要你用功練習，一年後
109
00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:17,870
你的洞就會跟我一樣深
110
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,370
老爹天天要我苦練陽物
111
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:43,290
我很快就有成績了
112
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,080
但是，他一直不讓我找個女人
113
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來試我的第一次
114
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他告訴我，男人的第一次很重要
115
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:54,410
如果感覺不好，一生都會有陰影
116
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,120
慶兒，你可以開始了
117
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是！
118
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:06,330
我很快長大了，我可以用陽物寫大字
119
00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:09,870
而對性的渴望，也越來越大
120
00:12:55,910 --> 00:12:57,200
司琴
121
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,040
進來 是，官人
122
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:04,700
我想要…來吧
123
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:06,910
官人，不要
124
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,700
我一直想抓一個丫環進房，給自己破處
125
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:11,910
可是老爹看得很緊
126
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,120
官人，我… 慶兒！
127
00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:16,410
一發現就當頭棒喝，不成全好事
128
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:17,620
爹
129
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:21,160
你出去！
130
00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:28,330
你又來了，我說過多少次…
131
00:13:28,790 --> 00:13:31,160
男人第一次性經驗很重要
132
00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:34,580
效果不好，會影響你一生的心理
133
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,370
一定要我批准才可以做，知道嗎？
134
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:38,910
知道了，爹
135
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,950
我被老爹痛罵一頓後
136
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:44,740
以為今年休想甩掉
137
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,540
處男這兩個字
138
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:48,370
沒想到世事難料
139
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:49,740
很多時候都是意想不到
140
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:52,700
過了幾天，老爹說他有一個世交的女兒
141
00:13:52,910 --> 00:13:54,660
因為家裡出事，怕受到牽連
142
00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:58,120
所以，暫時搬來我們家暫住
143
00:14:08,450 --> 00:14:10,950
老爹說，她叫紫煙
144
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,200
我見到她，整個人都快冒煙
145
00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:49,830
紫煙是我一生中見過最美最美的女子
146
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,830
自從她來到我家以後
147
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,740
我無時無刻都想撲過去強姦她
148
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,620
但是老爹時刻都牢牢盯著我
149
00:14:57,750 --> 00:15:01,830
他說她是世伯的女兒，碰都甭想碰
150
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:02,490
爹
151
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:03,370
帶他走
152
00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:04,580
是
153
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,290
不好意思，少爺
154
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:12,290
慶兒吃飯
155
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:13,490
這麼快？
156
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,700
沒辦法，我只好天天躲在房裡自己搞定
157
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:21,330
不然的話，我想我一定會爆炸
158
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:25,370
關關雎鳩，在河之洲
159
00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:28,910
窈窕淑女，君子好逑
160
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,740
後來，老爹還要紫煙教我讀書
161
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,410
搞到我差點發瘋
162
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:37,080
窈窕淑女，寤寐求之
163
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:40,740
求之不得，寤寐思服
164
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,830
悠哉悠哉，輾轉反側
165
00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:50,120
關關雎鳩，在河之洲
166
00:15:50,290 --> 00:15:55,790
窈窕淑女，君子好逑
167
00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:03,120
你讀一遍給我聽吧
168
00:16:03,870 --> 00:16:07,040
讀…讀…
169
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:11,330
關關之洲，在河雎鳩
170
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:13,370
窈窕淑女…
171
00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:15,330
你親我鳩鳩…
172
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,790
你說什麼？
173
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:26,080
關…關…鳩…鳩…
174
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,660
幹嘛臉紅紅的？
175
00:16:27,910 --> 00:16:29,330
你不舒服？
176
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:31,910
關…關…
177
00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:35,870
紫煙姐！
178
00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:42,580
沒壓疼你吧？
179
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,120
你起來吧
180
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:48,370
對不起 你真調皮
181
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:50,040
不好意思
182
00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:03,950
我一定要得到紫煙，我一定要得到她
183
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,330
我要她做我第一個女人！
184
00:18:18,790 --> 00:18:21,740
那晚，我自己搞了九次
185
00:18:21,950 --> 00:18:23,830
還是很衝動
186
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,990
突然間，讓我聽到一把聲音…
187
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,450
小姐，熱水已經準備好
188
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,330
你可以洗澡了
189
00:18:31,540 --> 00:18:33,620
這幾句話，聽在我耳朵裡
190
00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:35,490
就像仙女唱歌一樣
191
00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:36,790
我立刻跳下床
192
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,990
悄悄走近我預先挖穿的小洞前
193
00:21:36,660 --> 00:21:40,040
原來紫煙和我一樣，喜歡自己搞自己
194
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,830
為何兩個有需要的人，不能互相撫慰
195
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,330
而要自己搞自己？
196
00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:46,160
簡直荒謬！
197
00:21:46,370 --> 00:21:48,700
不行，我實在忍無可忍
198
00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:19,620
不要害羞
199
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:21,990
那我不客氣了
200
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:23,330
來
201
00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:21,870
我要…
202
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,240
等等
203
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:19,240
很大！
204
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,240
是嗎？
205
00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:20,950
那晚，我們整整做了五次
206
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:22,700
大家都很滿足
207
00:25:22,910 --> 00:25:25,660
從那晚開始，我們不放過任何一個機會
208
00:25:25,830 --> 00:25:27,990
在家裡任何一個沒人見到的地方
209
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,160
我們就做…做…
210
00:25:30,410 --> 00:25:32,620
做我們人生中最快樂的事
211
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:49,080
我好愛你…真的好愛你
212
00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:50,490
我也是
213
00:26:50,830 --> 00:26:53,740
我一生都要和你在一起
214
00:26:54,620 --> 00:26:57,450
你真的很大…我受不了…
215
00:26:57,700 --> 00:26:58,580
你知不知道自己很大？
216
00:26:58,830 --> 00:27:01,740
我知道…大…很大…
217
00:27:02,290 --> 00:27:05,120
我要你做我最後一個男人…好不好？
218
00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:14,040
好…最後一個男人…最後一個…
219
00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:16,990
沒有你，我寧願死…
220
00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:18,450
不要…不要呀…
221
00:27:18,620 --> 00:27:20,200
怎麼了？你不要？
222
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:22,080
幹嘛停下？ 你死了我怎麼辦？
223
00:27:22,330 --> 00:27:23,660
來吧
224
00:27:24,750 --> 00:27:27,240
要死…我也要跟你一起死…
225
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:34,330
這一個月裡
226
00:27:34,450 --> 00:27:37,200
紫煙教會我很多男女之間的秘密
227
00:27:37,410 --> 00:27:39,330
原來她是一個高手
228
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,330
我已經深深的愛上她了
229
00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:44,620
沒想到，來到那個月初一的早晨…
230
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,240
我發現紫煙不見了
231
00:27:47,450 --> 00:27:50,120
前一晚，我們還做了三次
232
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,290
慶，我走了
233
00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:59,120
你是個好男人，你很疼我
234
00:27:59,540 --> 00:28:02,700
我在這一個月裡，真的很快樂
235
00:28:02,870 --> 00:28:05,410
因為我感覺到，你是真心的
236
00:28:05,790 --> 00:28:09,950
我已經很久沒遇到一個真心的男人
237
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,870
可是我跟你說的一切都是騙你的
238
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,700
你的陽物並不是很大
239
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,240
我見過不少更大的
240
00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:24,490
我不可能一輩子跟你在一起
241
00:28:24,660 --> 00:28:28,450
因為我只是秦淮河畔的一個妓女
242
00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:30,410
是你爹請我回來
243
00:28:30,620 --> 00:28:33,290
為你當男女之事的啟蒙
244
00:28:33,620 --> 00:28:38,120
其實男女之間，大多是虛情假意
245
00:28:38,290 --> 00:28:41,620
你這輩子都不要把心交給任何一個女子
246
00:28:41,830 --> 00:28:44,870
還是你去傷害人家比較好
247
00:28:53,750 --> 00:28:56,330
我故意要你先受一次傷害
248
00:28:56,910 --> 00:29:00,410
以後，你就不會被情所困
249
00:29:00,620 --> 00:29:03,120
男人只要有錢，有權勢
250
00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:05,370
天下美女都會歸你
251
00:29:05,580 --> 00:29:07,790
不要浪費時間在女人身上
252
00:29:07,950 --> 00:29:11,290
要全力去爭取權力和財富
253
00:29:11,540 --> 00:29:13,950
紫煙是我花一百兩黃金找回來的
254
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:15,240
很值得
255
00:29:15,410 --> 00:29:17,040
這比起一百個老師來教你更強
256
00:29:17,410 --> 00:29:19,160
更會讓你記住
257
00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:23,160
爹…
258
00:29:23,870 --> 00:29:25,450
孩兒明白了
259
00:29:26,540 --> 00:29:29,990
孩子，要努力讀書
260
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:35,450
只要有財勢官職，天下絕色都會得到
261
00:29:35,660 --> 00:29:39,040
不然，只會跟許多窮人一樣
262
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,790
一生只對著一個醜的女人
263
00:29:42,540 --> 00:29:45,410
爹，我不要醜的女人
264
00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:48,290
我要考取功名
265
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,330
我要天下女子都跪在我腳下！
266
00:29:52,660 --> 00:29:55,370
被老爹教訓一頓之後，我恍然大悟
267
00:29:55,580 --> 00:29:57,580
決定出外遊學，見多點世面
268
00:29:57,790 --> 00:30:01,040
最重要還是想結交多些天下美女
269
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,700
慶兒，緊記爹教你的御女之術
270
00:30:03,870 --> 00:30:07,330
你這次出門，若物色到好女子
271
00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:08,910
可以回來告訴爹
272
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,580
讓我幫你提親，成家立室
273
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,330
孩兒緊記爹的吩咐
274
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,370
時候不早了，快啟程吧
275
00:30:20,580 --> 00:30:21,870
孩兒告辭
276
00:30:28,330 --> 00:30:29,410
我才不笨
277
00:30:29,580 --> 00:30:31,580
這麼快找個老婆來綁住自己？
278
00:30:31,790 --> 00:30:33,950
我要享盡天下美女，然後才成親
279
00:30:36,700 --> 00:30:37,740
快走，竹竿
280
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,120
少爺，等我…
281
00:30:43,620 --> 00:30:46,910
離家之後，我就海闊天空到處遨遊
282
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,950
遊遍名山大川，尋幽探秘
283
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,200
可惜，所見到的都是庸脂俗粉
284
00:30:53,410 --> 00:30:56,290
直到有一天，我和竹竿到了一座荒山
285
00:30:56,540 --> 00:30:58,870
沒想到遇上滂沱大雨
286
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,120
我挺不住了
287
00:31:00,330 --> 00:31:02,790
竹竿…竹…竹竿…
288
00:31:31,700 --> 00:31:33,240
師姐
289
00:31:38,620 --> 00:31:40,240
他們死了？
290
00:31:42,410 --> 00:31:44,200
他們還有氣！
291
00:31:47,750 --> 00:31:51,290
發高燒，不救他們一定會死
292
00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:53,120
他們是男人
293
00:31:53,290 --> 00:31:55,370
師父說過，男人是毒蛇
294
00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:57,200
碰不得，連看一眼也不行
295
00:31:57,410 --> 00:31:59,200
不然，就會咬死我們
296
00:31:59,540 --> 00:32:00,540
是的…
297
00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:02,200
師父好像不是這樣說的
298
00:32:02,410 --> 00:32:03,790
她說男人身上有條毒蛇
299
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,370
會走出來咬死我們才對
300
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,700
我認為先救人
301
00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:13,540
救人一命，勝造七級浮屠
302
00:32:13,790 --> 00:32:15,410
救了回去再算吧
303
00:32:20,250 --> 00:32:20,990
怎麼樣…
304
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:22,790
師父出來了…
305
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,330
師父，那兩位施主怎麼樣？
306
00:32:30,540 --> 00:32:31,790
他們沒事吧？
307
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,910
他們染上風寒，所以發高燒
308
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,740
我已經給他們吃了藥
309
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:37,830
出身汗
310
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,040
明天就沒事了
311
00:32:40,290 --> 00:32:41,290
菩薩保佑
312
00:32:41,540 --> 00:32:42,790
我告訴你們
313
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,870
這兩位施主是男人
314
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:49,040
除了師父，你們不准接近禪房半步
315
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,160
為什麼？
316
00:32:50,330 --> 00:32:52,330
男人都是老虎的化身
317
00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:54,120
身上都有一條毒蛇
318
00:32:54,410 --> 00:32:55,540
會出來咬死你們
319
00:32:55,790 --> 00:32:56,580
毒蛇？
320
00:32:56,790 --> 00:32:58,620
被毒蛇咬到，非死不可
321
00:32:58,910 --> 00:32:59,740
而且還要下地獄
322
00:32:59,950 --> 00:33:01,200
你們要切記
323
00:33:02,450 --> 00:33:03,910
是，師父
324
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,830
回去休息吧
325
00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:08,410
明月，你過來
326
00:33:08,580 --> 00:33:09,580
來
327
00:33:10,410 --> 00:33:14,040
你是大師姐，要好好看管小師妹
328
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,620
不要讓她們偷偷走過來
329
00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:17,990
明月知道了
330
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,290
太好了，可以休息了
331
00:33:27,790 --> 00:33:29,290
你們有沒有發現？ 什麼？
332
00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:32,290
師父最近有點糊塗 我說師父在撒謊
333
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:34,160
師父以前說男人是毒蛇
334
00:33:34,330 --> 00:33:35,580
現在卻說是老虎
335
00:33:35,790 --> 00:33:37,290
師父前言不對後語
336
00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:39,290
師父可能在騙我們
337
00:33:39,540 --> 00:33:41,580
她自己可能也沒見過
338
00:33:41,870 --> 00:33:43,910
是呀…
339
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:49,160
你們好大膽
340
00:33:49,410 --> 00:33:52,450
對師父無禮，在背後說褻瀆的話
341
00:33:52,790 --> 00:33:53,660
我要去告訴師父！
342
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,330
不要，大師姐，我們以後不敢了
343
00:33:56,540 --> 00:33:58,870
你們一定是動了凡心
344
00:33:59,790 --> 00:34:02,580
說不定半夜會去找毒蛇老虎
345
00:34:03,910 --> 00:34:06,830
不行，今晚我要鎖住你們
346
00:34:08,290 --> 00:34:09,580
怎麼辦…
347
00:34:10,660 --> 00:34:13,330
她會不會去告訴師父？
348
00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:15,580
她真的把門鎖住了
349
00:34:48,450 --> 00:34:52,120
師父說男人身上有毒蛇，在哪裡？
350
00:34:54,620 --> 00:34:58,200
弄醒他，毒蛇會不會咬我？
351
00:35:45,620 --> 00:35:47,660
這條毒蛇很大
352
00:35:47,870 --> 00:35:49,740
軟綿綿的…
353
00:35:51,700 --> 00:35:53,790
是不是睡著了？
354
00:36:28,330 --> 00:36:29,910
糟了！毒蛇噴毒汁了！
355
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,160
我中毒了…
356
00:36:36,910 --> 00:36:39,080
我的小祖宗…
357
00:36:44,250 --> 00:36:45,700
菩薩
358
00:36:46,330 --> 00:36:48,700
明月真的不知道自己…
359
00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:52,830
是否已經犯了清規，要下地獄去？
360
00:36:53,950 --> 00:36:56,290
其實，我什麼也沒做過
361
00:36:56,450 --> 00:37:00,830
我只不過好奇，所以才來看他
362
00:37:01,370 --> 00:37:04,200
其實明月根本就…
363
00:37:04,540 --> 00:37:06,200
不是很想出家
364
00:37:06,910 --> 00:37:08,370
明月很小的時候
365
00:37:08,540 --> 00:37:10,910
父母因瘟疫得病雙雙去世
366
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,950
只剩下我一個人
367
00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:16,700
幸得師父慈悲為懷，收留了我
368
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:20,080
所以我就做了小尼姑
369
00:37:20,910 --> 00:37:22,450
其實我…
370
00:37:23,330 --> 00:37:25,830
很想回到凡塵俗世
371
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,870
菩薩，我大膽的說一句
372
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,410
師父說的話都不是真的
373
00:37:31,700 --> 00:37:34,580
男人不但不是毒蛇和老虎
374
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:39,740
相反，我覺得他們身上的毒蛇還挺可愛
375
00:37:41,950 --> 00:37:44,160
那位公子看來…
376
00:37:44,540 --> 00:37:46,330
也很英俊
377
00:37:47,830 --> 00:37:52,870
不知為何，只要我見到他就會好開心
378
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,830
我真想知道，為何會這樣子
379
00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:59,580
菩薩…
380
00:38:00,910 --> 00:38:06,450
我想求你，令那位公子見到我的時候…
381
00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:08,410
也像我見到他一樣的開心
382
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:09,910
可不可以？
383
00:38:13,450 --> 00:38:14,910
罪過… 罪過…
384
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,450
你怎麼樣？
385
00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:25,330
你沒事吧？
386
00:38:25,790 --> 00:38:27,830
我沒事，施主
387
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,290
你醒了？
388
00:38:29,700 --> 00:38:30,830
是的
389
00:38:31,330 --> 00:38:33,160
是菩薩叫醒我
390
00:38:33,540 --> 00:38:36,410
叫我來這裡聽你剛剛說那番話
391
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,080
我沒說什麼…
392
00:38:40,250 --> 00:38:43,990
還有，菩薩告訴我，叫我見到你…
393
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,910
要跟你見到我一樣的開心
394
00:38:59,830 --> 00:39:00,790
少爺！
395
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,910
少爺，你在哪裡？
396
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,540
又是你？
397
00:39:06,790 --> 00:39:09,120
少爺，我剛才被那小尼姑踩了一腳
398
00:39:09,370 --> 00:39:11,040
現在好痛
399
00:39:11,250 --> 00:39:13,040
少爺，你理理我吧，我好痛
400
00:39:13,250 --> 00:39:14,160
她怎樣踩你？
401
00:39:14,370 --> 00:39:15,790
我剛才在那邊被她推倒
402
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,410
接著她就一腳踩過來
403
00:39:17,660 --> 00:39:18,950
是不是這樣！
404
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:20,290
是呀…
405
00:39:20,540 --> 00:39:22,740
就是這樣，你怎麼知道？
406
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,160
我的小祖宗
407
00:39:29,500 --> 00:39:31,790
過了兩天，不管我如何裝病
408
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,990
老尼姑還是下了逐客令
409
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,040
我和竹竿唯有離開
410
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,040
我打聽到那個偷看我的小尼姑叫明月
411
00:39:39,700 --> 00:39:41,910
她的名字真美
412
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,410
可惜，我再也見不到她了
413
00:39:44,620 --> 00:39:48,580
所以，我只好收拾心情，繼續上路
414
00:39:49,450 --> 00:39:50,910
不用送了
415
00:39:53,410 --> 00:39:54,080
快走吧
416
00:39:54,330 --> 00:39:55,700
知道了，少爺
417
00:39:56,410 --> 00:39:59,660
我萬萬沒想到，明月竟然會…
418
00:39:59,870 --> 00:40:01,660
偷偷地離開尼姑庵
419
00:40:01,870 --> 00:40:03,040
追上來找我
420
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:04,700
她心裡已經決定了
421
00:40:04,910 --> 00:40:07,330
重投凡塵俗世，要和我在一起
422
00:40:07,620 --> 00:40:08,620
我還痛
423
00:40:08,790 --> 00:40:09,790
怎樣痛？
424
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,740
扯…扯痛
425
00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:13,240
切掉它就不痛了！
426
00:40:13,410 --> 00:40:15,200
不切…
427
00:40:15,450 --> 00:40:17,080
能走…走得很快…
428
00:40:36,660 --> 00:40:38,080
三位大哥…
429
00:40:39,790 --> 00:40:42,660
可有見過兩位公子… 從這兒經過？
430
00:40:42,830 --> 00:40:44,080
沒有…
431
00:40:44,410 --> 00:40:45,580
謝謝
432
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,580
剛才那小子，皮嫩肉滑…
433
00:40:56,790 --> 00:41:00,040
看樣子… 不大像是男人
434
00:41:01,410 --> 00:41:03,700
我敢肯定，是個女的
435
00:41:27,540 --> 00:41:29,040
少爺，走慢點
436
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:37,330
小兄弟！
437
00:41:40,250 --> 00:41:41,660
等一等
438
00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:45,120
我想起來了
439
00:41:45,330 --> 00:41:46,330
你見過他們？
440
00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:48,330
剛剛有兩位公子問路
441
00:41:48,540 --> 00:41:52,490
他們說要到那邊山神廟上香
442
00:41:53,290 --> 00:41:57,790
他死裡逃生，去燒香答謝神恩是對的
443
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:00,410
怎麼去？
444
00:42:00,660 --> 00:42:02,410
就在那邊，很近
445
00:42:02,910 --> 00:42:03,660
很近？
446
00:42:03,830 --> 00:42:05,740
好人做到底，我帶你去
447
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,540
來，走吧 謝謝
448
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,870
走 好，走
449
00:42:11,500 --> 00:42:13,910
等會兒到了怡紅院，就找幾個妞來玩玩
450
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,240
也叫一個給你玩
451
00:42:15,410 --> 00:42:18,330
好的，但是我下面還痛著呢
452
00:42:21,910 --> 00:42:23,450
怎麼了，少爺？
453
00:42:26,790 --> 00:42:28,200
我少了樣東西
454
00:42:28,450 --> 00:42:29,910
很簡單，你自己翻
455
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,200
蹲下
456
00:42:40,830 --> 00:42:42,120
不見了？
457
00:42:43,910 --> 00:42:45,330
不見了什麼？
458
00:42:45,540 --> 00:42:46,990
爹給我的那本書
459
00:42:47,410 --> 00:42:50,160
很簡單，回去叫老爺再給你一本
460
00:42:50,870 --> 00:42:52,160
你懂個屁！
461
00:42:52,370 --> 00:42:54,830
這是一本醫書，是秘籍
462
00:42:55,870 --> 00:42:59,120
還想著進了小鎮，買點補藥補一補
463
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,290
醫書？
464
00:43:02,370 --> 00:43:04,870
難道留在尼姑庵裡？
465
00:43:08,870 --> 00:43:11,200
我早就知道，走
466
00:43:12,250 --> 00:43:14,450
少爺，等等我
467
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,200
你把東西都翻出來了，等我呀
468
00:43:17,370 --> 00:43:18,080
少爺…
469
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,910
救命呀！
470
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:25,700
有聲音？
471
00:43:25,910 --> 00:43:28,080
是啊，好像有姑娘喊救命
472
00:43:30,250 --> 00:43:31,240
走開！壞蛋…
473
00:43:31,450 --> 00:43:32,120
閉嘴！
474
00:43:32,330 --> 00:43:33,240
住手！
475
00:43:34,830 --> 00:43:37,160
去死吧！
476
00:43:53,330 --> 00:43:54,910
怎麼這樣硬？
477
00:43:56,950 --> 00:43:58,330
這叫鐵襠功，蠢蛋！
478
00:43:58,450 --> 00:43:59,120
厲害吧！
479
00:44:03,870 --> 00:44:04,740
起來
480
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:06,540
走開，壞蛋！
481
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,450
我來救你的，姑娘
482
00:44:15,290 --> 00:44:16,080
閃開！
483
00:44:24,540 --> 00:44:26,910
又踢中我的小祖宗… 明月 ！
484
00:44:28,870 --> 00:44:30,160
沒事了
485
00:44:31,370 --> 00:44:33,740
別怕…
486
00:44:34,250 --> 00:44:35,910
壞人都跑了
487
00:44:39,910 --> 00:44:42,990
明月，不要哭
488
00:44:43,580 --> 00:44:46,410
不要哭，現在沒事了
489
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,620
告訴我，你為何跟那些壞人在一起？
490
00:44:52,580 --> 00:44:54,200
我不知道…
491
00:44:54,580 --> 00:44:57,370
我從尼姑庵出來，想跟你一起走
492
00:44:59,250 --> 00:45:01,700
跟你去看看這個世界
493
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,160
沒想到，被他們騙了…
494
00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:09,700
若不是你來救我，我就…
495
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:11,450
別說了
496
00:45:19,410 --> 00:45:21,660
我跟你一起走可以嗎？
497
00:45:23,910 --> 00:45:25,990
不可以？
498
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,410
沒問題
499
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:47,830
有人理一下我嗎？
500
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:49,790
好痛呀
501
00:46:41,620 --> 00:46:42,870
你幹嘛？
502
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:45,410
你真調皮
503
00:46:45,620 --> 00:46:48,490
別跑，明月…
504
00:46:48,750 --> 00:46:51,120
做夢也會被人踩？
505
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,240
你還跑，看你往哪跑
506
00:46:58,790 --> 00:47:00,410
跑吧…
507
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:02,200
你別過來
508
00:47:02,410 --> 00:47:03,990
我偏要過來
509
00:47:06,500 --> 00:47:08,240
看你往哪跑
510
00:47:10,410 --> 00:47:12,700
你欺負人
511
00:53:04,580 --> 00:53:08,370
明月，讓你這樣舒服，你如何報答我？
512
00:53:09,700 --> 00:53:11,620
你來親我下面
513
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:14,410
來
514
00:53:18,540 --> 00:53:20,580
別害羞，來
515
00:53:26,750 --> 00:53:28,950
這條毒蛇是不是很可愛？
516
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,620
親親它，沒有毒的
517
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,160
不要，我怕
518
00:54:13,330 --> 00:54:16,450
沒什麼好怕，你還不知道怎樣做
519
00:54:16,660 --> 00:54:18,660
我們慢慢來，好嗎？
520
00:54:19,450 --> 00:54:21,870
就是不知道才害怕
521
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:23,120
那就讓我來教你吧
522
00:54:23,330 --> 00:54:26,950
剛開始會有點痛，但以後你會很快樂
523
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:28,240
怎樣快樂？
524
00:54:28,450 --> 00:54:31,790
就是讓你覺得，再痛十倍也值得的快樂
525
00:54:41,830 --> 00:54:44,160
這個，就是除了尼姑…
526
00:54:44,450 --> 00:54:45,950
女人都要經過的階段
527
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:48,040
你就忍忍吧！
528
00:54:48,750 --> 00:54:50,950
我裂開了…
529
00:54:51,290 --> 00:54:55,490
我現在是在幫你開啟快樂的泉源
530
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:12,370
任何女人，都會被人騙了第一次
531
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:15,870
要不然，以後就不會快樂了
532
00:56:54,540 --> 00:56:57,700
那一夜，我們斷斷續續做了六次
533
00:56:57,830 --> 00:57:00,040
因為明月，她的確是第一次
534
00:57:00,290 --> 00:57:02,200
做久了她就會痛
535
00:57:02,870 --> 00:57:05,290
她是一個令我很快樂的女子
536
00:57:05,450 --> 00:57:07,660
所以，我當她是我的女人
537
00:57:07,830 --> 00:57:10,700
但沒多久，我就收到老爹病重的訊息
538
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:13,370
我帶明月回家見老爹
539
00:57:13,580 --> 00:57:15,330
老爹確實病得很重
540
00:57:15,540 --> 00:57:17,990
我騙他敘述明月是南方的富家千金
541
00:57:18,290 --> 00:57:19,410
他病得一塌糊塗
542
00:57:19,580 --> 00:57:20,660
我說什麼他都信以為真
543
00:57:20,910 --> 00:57:24,370
還催我快點成親，我唯有順其美意
544
00:57:51,330 --> 00:57:55,330
從今日起，你就成家立室了
545
00:57:55,910 --> 00:57:58,330
爹送一件寶物給你
546
00:58:04,500 --> 00:58:06,450
爹，什麼來的？
547
00:58:06,750 --> 00:58:08,910
是我花了千兩黃金
548
00:58:09,330 --> 00:58:11,990
搜羅天下所有珍貴藥材…
549
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:16,240
精心提煉秘製而成的騰龍秘丸
550
00:58:16,450 --> 00:58:18,620
我現在送給你傍身
551
00:58:18,830 --> 00:58:20,450
只要服食一粒
552
00:58:20,580 --> 00:58:23,080
就算是百歲老人也可以…
553
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:25,740
有氣力御女生子
554
00:58:25,950 --> 00:58:29,870
不過，千萬不可以貪戀歡樂
555
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:34,080
服食多過一粒，就會過度虛耗
556
00:58:34,290 --> 00:58:36,790
有脫陽而死的危險
557
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:38,450
慶兒知道了
558
00:58:41,500 --> 00:58:43,700
那一夜，我就吃了第一粒
559
00:58:43,910 --> 00:58:46,370
明月差點在洞房之夜被我搞死
560
00:58:46,540 --> 00:58:49,080
她來了六十多次，我射了八次
561
00:58:49,330 --> 00:58:51,620
到第三天，我們才肯起床
562
00:58:55,330 --> 00:58:57,830
我結婚，本是想給老爹沖喜
563
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,740
但他的病反而更嚴重
564
00:59:00,910 --> 00:59:03,700
一個月之後，就離開了我們
565
00:59:08,450 --> 00:59:11,330
爹死了之後，我繼承了他的一切
566
00:59:11,540 --> 00:59:14,580
包括良田數千畝，家財萬貫
567
00:59:14,750 --> 00:59:18,200
我成為真正的西門大官人，富甲一方
568
00:59:18,450 --> 00:59:19,660
我與老爹不同
569
00:59:19,830 --> 00:59:22,330
他只懂得躲在家裡讀書和研究
570
00:59:22,500 --> 00:59:23,700
而我留學之後
571
00:59:23,870 --> 00:59:26,040
明白到有財之外還要有勢
572
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,290
從此我就結交有勢力的朋友
573
00:59:28,540 --> 00:59:29,740
希望找一個官來做
574
00:59:29,910 --> 00:59:31,950
更加與有勢力的官員勾結
575
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:33,950
這樣，才可以橫行霸道
576
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:36,240
只有我欺負人，沒人敢欺負我
577
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:38,160
請
578
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,450
這天，我就與新結交的損友花子虛
579
00:59:41,660 --> 00:59:44,330
一起前往縣中比較有錢的王大戶府第
580
00:59:44,580 --> 00:59:46,910
參加他宴請新上任的知府大人
581
00:59:47,870 --> 00:59:50,790
今日我代表各位清河縣的好朋友
582
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:52,790
敬縣大爺一杯
583
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:54,660
祝官運亨通
584
00:59:54,950 --> 00:59:56,580
百福盈門！
585
00:59:57,870 --> 00:59:58,990
好…
586
00:59:59,250 --> 01:00:00,910
今日本官新上任
587
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:02,870
大家若想平平安安…
588
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:04,990
就要與本官通力合作
589
01:00:05,290 --> 01:00:07,040
多多關照
590
01:00:07,870 --> 01:00:09,660
不行…好悶呀
591
01:00:09,830 --> 01:00:11,160
悶什麼？
592
01:00:11,790 --> 01:00:14,120
請你看看，找遍全場…
593
01:00:14,330 --> 01:00:15,830
都找不到一個像樣點的
594
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,910
不悶才怪，還有…
595
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:20,120
你看後面那堆極品
596
01:00:22,540 --> 01:00:23,790
將就一下吧
597
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:25,910
好不容易才能弄到兩個位子進來
598
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:27,410
謝謝你
599
01:00:52,870 --> 01:00:53,910
金蓮！
600
01:00:58,580 --> 01:01:00,410
誰讓這個小妖精端酒出來？
601
01:01:00,830 --> 01:01:02,160
別這樣，不好看 她是誰？
602
01:01:02,370 --> 01:01:04,580
什麼不好看，我現在罵錯了她嗎？
603
01:01:04,790 --> 01:01:06,160
她不過十三四歲
604
01:01:06,370 --> 01:01:08,240
走起路來卻像隻狐狸精
605
01:01:08,620 --> 01:01:11,450
現在已經如此，長大以後還行？
606
01:01:11,790 --> 01:01:13,910
她那細皮肉嫩的臉
607
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,540
被那潑婦一巴一巴地打…
608
01:01:16,750 --> 01:01:19,580
真是打在她臉上，痛在我心上
609
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:23,240
不僅如此，你看她那對小腳…
610
01:01:23,410 --> 01:01:25,910
小巧玲瓏，勾魂攝魄
611
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:28,200
真是越看越喜歡 是的
612
01:01:28,410 --> 01:01:30,910
可惜… 可惜…
613
01:01:34,500 --> 01:01:36,700
原來這個婢女名叫金蓮
614
01:01:36,870 --> 01:01:38,450
王夫人因為她長得美
615
01:01:38,660 --> 01:01:40,830
而王大戶早就對她有野心
616
01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:43,370
那天晚上就藉故打她
617
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:47,370
在我心裡，就只有可惜兩個字
618
01:01:52,870 --> 01:01:54,330
後來，我喝醉了
619
01:01:54,540 --> 01:01:57,160
就留在王大戶府第，沒有回家
620
01:01:57,330 --> 01:01:59,620
我半夜醒來，反正睡不著
621
01:01:59,830 --> 01:02:01,580
就走到後院逛逛
622
01:02:01,790 --> 01:02:03,160
那一夜，月色很美
623
01:02:03,410 --> 01:02:06,740
我一直走，走到河邊
624
01:02:06,910 --> 01:02:07,950
不料…
625
01:02:17,700 --> 01:02:18,990
是你？
626
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:28,950
你哭呀？
627
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:30,410
怎麼了？
628
01:02:30,620 --> 01:02:33,740
夫人剛才打我，不讓我吃飯
629
01:02:33,910 --> 01:02:35,540
我太餓了，就出來喝水
630
01:02:35,790 --> 01:02:37,490
這樣才不覺得餓
631
01:02:37,750 --> 01:02:39,740
只喝水怎麼會飽？
632
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:41,990
來，我房裡有些糕點
633
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:43,370
你跟我來
634
01:02:43,660 --> 01:02:45,740
夫人知道，會打死我的
635
01:02:45,950 --> 01:02:47,160
我不說，她怎會知道？
636
01:02:47,330 --> 01:02:50,160
況且，這總比餓著肚子好，對吧？
637
01:02:50,540 --> 01:02:51,870
來，快點，跟我來
638
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:54,200
來，走吧
639
01:02:59,910 --> 01:03:02,790
來，喝杯茶
640
01:03:08,410 --> 01:03:11,410
大官人，別這樣看著我
641
01:03:11,580 --> 01:03:14,830
沒有，我在欣賞你的小腳
642
01:03:15,540 --> 01:03:17,950
這對腳是我奶奶從小給我扎的
643
01:03:18,290 --> 01:03:19,660
原來如此
644
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,990
如果我跟你老爺說，將你贖身過來給我
645
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:25,290
你願不願意？
646
01:03:25,450 --> 01:03:26,660
真的？
647
01:03:27,750 --> 01:03:29,870
其實，你在這兒不開心吧？
648
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:34,660
夫人不喜歡我，常藉故打我
649
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:38,700
你長得美，夫人當然不喜歡你
650
01:03:39,410 --> 01:03:40,660
大官人…
651
01:03:40,830 --> 01:03:43,490
你…真的肯給我贖身？
652
01:03:43,700 --> 01:03:44,740
當然
653
01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:47,830
五百兩，夠不夠？
654
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:50,660
不過這樣…
655
01:03:51,250 --> 01:03:53,120
我要你答應我的要求
656
01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:58,450
你別誤會，不是那意思
657
01:03:58,660 --> 01:04:01,200
你還小，我怎會那麼殘忍
658
01:04:01,410 --> 01:04:02,790
我只是想…
659
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:05,950
看看你的小腳
660
01:05:49,660 --> 01:05:51,660
這塊玉珮，是我送給你的信物
661
01:05:51,830 --> 01:05:54,200
我回去，就馬上拿銀兩來替你贖身
662
01:05:54,370 --> 01:05:55,410
你等我
663
01:06:11,290 --> 01:06:13,540
這麼多美女，我今天晚上當皇帝了
664
01:06:13,700 --> 01:06:15,910
沒這樣的派場，怎敢介紹
665
01:06:16,290 --> 01:06:17,370
你真有辦法
666
01:06:17,540 --> 01:06:20,160
我把贖金蓮的銀兩全給你做訂金
667
01:06:20,370 --> 01:06:23,410
如果不好玩，我就閹了你
668
01:06:23,660 --> 01:06:26,040
包你滿意
669
01:06:43,660 --> 01:06:45,790
這位就是雁夫人
670
01:06:47,410 --> 01:06:50,540
夫人有禮，在下西門慶
671
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:53,740
我聽說，西門大官人一向風流倜儻
672
01:06:53,950 --> 01:06:56,790
身邊有無數嬰宛，享盡人間艷福
673
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:00,660
為何會有興趣光顧我鳳翔山莊？
674
01:07:01,410 --> 01:07:05,080
本人聞說鳳翔山莊能夠令天下男人…
675
01:07:05,290 --> 01:07:07,660
得到他一生中最大的滿足
676
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:10,410
如果不行，就原銀奉還
677
01:07:10,620 --> 01:07:13,330
所以今天專誠來拜會拜會
678
01:07:13,540 --> 01:07:17,080
我們的確做到，不過有兩個條件
679
01:07:17,410 --> 01:07:18,540
什麼條件？
680
01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:22,330
第一，要驗你的陽物，證明你沒病
681
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,040
第二就是要立生死狀
682
01:07:26,250 --> 01:07:28,910
你試過以後，絕不可以向世上任何人…
683
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:30,580
洩露享樂的程序
684
01:07:30,790 --> 01:07:32,620
若不然，我們會顧用…
685
01:07:32,790 --> 01:07:35,410
天下最厲害的殺手取你的人頭
686
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:39,330
驥北何家大公子，蜀中唐家十一少
687
01:07:39,660 --> 01:07:43,660
他們兩位少爺，都是半夜丟了人頭
688
01:07:43,870 --> 01:07:45,790
本人並不是吃飽就唱之徒
689
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:48,160
所以請夫人放心，放心
690
01:07:48,330 --> 01:07:50,410
好，艷春，函雀
691
01:07:50,660 --> 01:07:51,540
是
692
01:07:53,370 --> 01:07:55,370
你倆現在請西門大官人…
693
01:07:55,660 --> 01:07:57,410
進內堂驗一下有沒有暗病
694
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:02,910
給錢
695
01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:04,290
是
696
01:08:07,660 --> 01:08:10,990
夫人，約簽了，錢給了
697
01:08:11,370 --> 01:08:13,410
驗過我下面也沒有暗病
698
01:08:13,700 --> 01:08:15,240
何時可以開始享樂？
699
01:08:15,410 --> 01:08:16,490
還不行
700
01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:18,290
為什麼？
701
01:08:18,450 --> 01:08:22,120
這裡的規矩是一天之內只招待一位客人
702
01:08:22,290 --> 01:08:24,410
我們今天晚上的客人是花公子
703
01:08:24,620 --> 01:08:26,450
官人，請你明天再來吧
704
01:08:27,870 --> 01:08:29,410
兩個一起不行嗎？
705
01:08:29,950 --> 01:08:32,080
請官人守這裡的規矩
706
01:08:32,290 --> 01:08:34,910
若不然，我們寧願不做你的生意
707
01:08:35,700 --> 01:08:37,290
不好意思
708
01:08:40,870 --> 01:08:42,290
你這混蛋耍我？
709
01:08:42,500 --> 01:08:44,330
失陪了，送客
710
01:08:44,910 --> 01:08:46,740
夫人…
711
01:08:47,540 --> 01:08:48,740
花子虛！
712
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:51,790
請 請
713
01:09:03,620 --> 01:09:05,290
花子虛這傢伙真可惡
714
01:09:05,500 --> 01:09:07,330
害我半天吊，還要一個人走
715
01:09:07,580 --> 01:09:08,660
我一定會報仇
716
01:09:08,830 --> 01:09:10,290
見到你老婆就搞你老婆
717
01:09:10,540 --> 01:09:12,040
見到你老媽就搞你老媽
718
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,290
搞完你老婆再搞你老媽…
719
01:09:15,410 --> 01:09:16,580
這位公子…
720
01:09:16,750 --> 01:09:19,950
你一個人在這裡走，很危險的
721
01:09:20,660 --> 01:09:21,910
這裡有老虎嗎？
722
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:24,540
老虎沒有，但是有兇惡的山賊
723
01:09:24,750 --> 01:09:25,830
山賊？
724
01:09:27,370 --> 01:09:28,990
哪有那麼多山賊？
725
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:32,740
當然有，就是聞風喪膽的黑風寨
726
01:09:32,950 --> 01:09:34,660
這裡不是只有鳳翔山莊嗎？
727
01:09:34,910 --> 01:09:37,540
什麼鳳翔山莊？我沒聽過
728
01:09:37,790 --> 01:09:39,080
我剛剛才去過
729
01:09:39,870 --> 01:09:41,790
我看公子也是富貴人家
730
01:09:41,950 --> 01:09:44,660
你快走吧，遇到山賊就沒命了
731
01:09:44,910 --> 01:09:47,410
這裡官府勢力很大，我看…
732
01:09:47,700 --> 01:09:49,660
毛賊倒有幾個，山賊…
733
01:09:49,910 --> 01:09:50,580
我才不怕
734
01:10:19,370 --> 01:10:21,540
山賊…
735
01:10:23,910 --> 01:10:25,040
出暗器？
736
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:37,370
你們幹什麼？
737
01:10:37,540 --> 01:10:38,410
別亂來！
738
01:10:38,620 --> 01:10:39,790
我是清河縣西門大官人
739
01:10:39,950 --> 01:10:41,790
我給你們錢，放了我
740
01:10:41,950 --> 01:10:44,540
這麼多廢話，吵什麼？
741
01:10:45,450 --> 01:10:46,790
揍你一頓再拿錢也不遲
742
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,120
誰在大吵大鬧？
743
01:10:49,290 --> 01:10:51,620
寨主… 寨主…
744
01:10:53,250 --> 01:10:54,200
脫掉他的褲子
745
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:56,040
我想看看他的東西有多大
746
01:10:56,250 --> 01:10:58,580
別說我不先提醒你，小心嚇壞
747
01:10:59,910 --> 01:11:02,790
想不到你居然有點份量
748
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:04,580
我縱橫脂粉界這麼多年
749
01:11:04,750 --> 01:11:07,200
有哪個女子不在我胯下低頭
750
01:11:07,370 --> 01:11:08,700
是嗎？
751
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:10,830
那我們就賭一把
752
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:12,040
賭什麼？
753
01:11:12,250 --> 01:11:13,830
賭你那條東西
754
01:11:14,910 --> 01:11:16,080
怎樣賭？
755
01:11:16,250 --> 01:11:18,080
就是你要跟本寨主交歡
756
01:11:18,250 --> 01:11:21,080
你搞到我滿足了，本寨主就放人
757
01:11:21,250 --> 01:11:23,290
不然，我就切下你的東西煲湯
758
01:11:23,580 --> 01:11:25,790
分給大家喝，怎樣？
759
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:29,490
事到如今，沒有其它辦法脫身，賭吧
760
01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:30,620
好
761
01:11:31,750 --> 01:11:32,830
放馬過來！
762
01:11:38,750 --> 01:11:39,830
關門
763
01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:43,200
寨主…
764
01:11:48,330 --> 01:11:51,740
你說來就來！
765
01:11:53,830 --> 01:11:58,790
自盤古開天闢地開始
766
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:07,740
男人要女人乖乖躺下，張開雙腿…
767
01:12:08,450 --> 01:12:12,620
也要全力以赴
768
01:12:13,250 --> 01:12:19,830
用武力，逼女人就範
769
01:12:20,500 --> 01:12:24,410
否則，就用技巧…
770
01:12:24,750 --> 01:12:28,700
令她心甘情願
771
01:12:33,910 --> 01:12:36,450
你…要考我武功？
772
01:12:36,620 --> 01:12:42,990
那就要看看…你有多少斤兩
773
01:12:53,250 --> 01:12:54,580
雙乳還可以
774
01:13:19,290 --> 01:13:20,620
臀部也不錯
775
01:13:26,950 --> 01:13:28,120
爽不爽？
776
01:13:31,870 --> 01:13:32,950
過癮吧？
777
01:13:33,120 --> 01:13:34,740
你很厲害
778
01:13:35,120 --> 01:13:36,370
厲害吧？
779
01:13:38,870 --> 01:13:40,120
好功夫！
780
01:13:46,450 --> 01:13:48,740
聽聞大官人好功夫
781
01:13:49,910 --> 01:13:51,740
我今天終於領教了
782
01:13:52,540 --> 01:13:54,540
果然名不虛傳
783
01:13:54,660 --> 01:13:55,830
雁夫人？
784
01:14:00,290 --> 01:14:02,490
原來你倆串通一起來耍我！
785
01:14:02,660 --> 01:14:04,120
好不好玩？
786
01:14:05,410 --> 01:14:08,490
難怪玩過之後不可向外界洩露
787
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:11,370
以後要玩就找我，不收錢
788
01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:17,830
我在鳳翔山莊渡過畢生難忘的經歷之後
789
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:19,450
忽然，我想起金蓮
790
01:14:19,620 --> 01:14:21,870
於是馬上到王大戶府上，想替她贖身
791
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:23,120
沒想到…
792
01:14:23,370 --> 01:14:24,910
請問有什麼事？
793
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:27,700
夫人，我今天來是想替金蓮贖身
794
01:14:27,950 --> 01:14:31,540
真對不起，金蓮實在太妖野了
795
01:14:31,750 --> 01:14:33,490
前天我老爺硬把她拉進房間
796
01:14:33,790 --> 01:14:34,700
差點搞出事
797
01:14:34,870 --> 01:14:36,870
留她在這裡，我怎能安心？
798
01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:39,910
為免除後患，我沒辦法不這樣做
799
01:14:40,160 --> 01:14:42,080
我已經把她送給別人了
800
01:14:42,330 --> 01:14:43,950
那…送給誰？
801
01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:47,040
抱歉，我答應對方要守秘密
802
01:14:47,200 --> 01:14:48,740
所以不能告訴你
803
01:14:49,450 --> 01:14:51,790
那…告辭了
804
01:14:52,160 --> 01:14:54,830
想不到，我與金蓮有緣無份
805
01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:57,660
遲來三天，我就再找不到她
806
01:14:57,830 --> 01:14:59,370
這可能是天意
807
01:14:59,540 --> 01:15:01,240
很快，我就忘了這件事
808
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:07,080
那天晚上，我終於回到家
809
01:15:07,250 --> 01:15:12,910
在睡房門口，我聽到月娘在房裡呻吟
810
01:15:29,790 --> 01:15:32,660
我懷疑她勾引家僕，給我戴綠帽子
811
01:15:32,870 --> 01:15:34,540
原來她這麼大膽
812
01:15:57,080 --> 01:15:58,910
她居然到我爹的房裡
813
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:02,490
偷了一根最長的角先生出來玩
814
01:16:02,750 --> 01:16:07,080
都是我不好，很久沒給她一頓飽餐
815
01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:09,490
我也加入
816
01:16:10,910 --> 01:16:12,410
相公…
817
01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:17,240
可不可以…一起？
818
01:19:25,540 --> 01:19:27,240
那天晚上，我用了老爹留下的
819
01:19:27,500 --> 01:19:28,790
十二根角先生
820
01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:30,490
月娘她很開心
821
01:19:30,700 --> 01:19:32,660
說好久沒吃得那麼飽
822
01:19:32,910 --> 01:19:36,240
也好，沒有金蓮，就留在家裡慰妻
823
01:19:36,500 --> 01:19:38,620
我漸漸忘記了金蓮
824
01:19:38,790 --> 01:19:41,370
而且，我還認識了好多女孩子
825
01:19:41,620 --> 01:19:43,870
這幾年來，我越來越有錢
826
01:19:44,080 --> 01:19:45,240
越來越有地位
827
01:19:45,370 --> 01:19:48,700
就算逛街，也有很多女子向我拋媚眼
828
01:19:49,200 --> 01:19:50,910
但不是誰也合適
829
01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:52,740
我有個乾媽，叫王婆
830
01:19:52,910 --> 01:19:56,160
她專門幫我物色絕色佳麗，穿針引線
831
01:19:56,410 --> 01:19:59,240
我漸漸對容易得到手的女子失去興趣
832
01:19:59,450 --> 01:20:01,120
要有難度，才有滿足感
833
01:20:01,290 --> 01:20:02,410
你是誰？
834
01:20:02,620 --> 01:20:03,740
對不起
835
01:20:08,250 --> 01:20:09,870
沒關係…
836
01:20:12,200 --> 01:20:13,870
是他…
837
01:20:21,790 --> 01:20:24,540
在下西門慶，如何稱呼？
838
01:20:24,750 --> 01:20:27,200
官人，你不認得我了？
839
01:20:28,410 --> 01:20:30,790
你是…
840
01:20:30,950 --> 01:20:33,540
糟，難道我跟她有過一路不記得？
841
01:20:33,700 --> 01:20:35,410
不可能，這麼漂亮…
842
01:20:36,250 --> 01:20:37,580
你是？
843
01:20:37,870 --> 01:20:39,240
金蓮
844
01:20:39,410 --> 01:20:40,410
金蓮？！
845
01:20:45,620 --> 01:20:47,410
金蓮？長這麼大了？
846
01:20:47,580 --> 01:20:48,660
金蓮！
847
01:20:53,620 --> 01:20:54,540
你這麼早回來？
848
01:20:54,700 --> 01:20:55,620
過來
849
01:20:55,790 --> 01:20:56,910
他…他是誰？
850
01:20:57,120 --> 01:20:58,370
你說誰呀？
851
01:20:58,620 --> 01:21:00,490
誰？他呀
852
01:21:02,120 --> 01:21:04,080
我剛才開窗掉了根棍子
853
01:21:04,290 --> 01:21:07,160
不小心，差點打中他
854
01:21:08,040 --> 01:21:09,740
不好意思，對不起…
855
01:21:09,910 --> 01:21:11,290
我老婆有沒有打中你？
856
01:21:11,870 --> 01:21:13,410
沒有…
857
01:21:16,330 --> 01:21:18,910
對了，我有事，先走了
858
01:21:19,700 --> 01:21:21,580
棍子… 還給你
859
01:21:22,120 --> 01:21:23,040
告辭
860
01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:25,580
慢走
861
01:21:26,330 --> 01:21:27,160
幹嘛？
862
01:21:27,410 --> 01:21:28,370
他有沒有搞你？
863
01:21:28,790 --> 01:21:30,290
當然沒有！
864
01:21:30,500 --> 01:21:32,990
你腦袋整天想著歪事
865
01:21:57,250 --> 01:21:58,950
乾兒子呀
866
01:21:59,620 --> 01:22:00,950
喂！
867
01:22:03,330 --> 01:22:06,160
誰那麼有本事，將你的魂魄勾走？
868
01:22:06,330 --> 01:22:09,540
一進門就走來走去，坐立不安
869
01:22:09,790 --> 01:22:13,160
你到底有何心事，連乾媽也丟在一邊？
870
01:22:13,410 --> 01:22:14,330
我沒事呀
871
01:22:14,500 --> 01:22:16,990
不過我在街上，遇見一位朋友
872
01:22:17,250 --> 01:22:18,450
是老相好？
873
01:22:18,910 --> 01:22:20,370
什麼老相好呀
874
01:22:20,540 --> 01:22:23,240
若是老相好，就不會牽腸掛肚了
875
01:22:23,580 --> 01:22:25,660
是個從未相好過的姑娘
876
01:22:25,910 --> 01:22:27,990
剛認識時，她還很小
877
01:22:28,160 --> 01:22:30,580
現在長大了，我一見到她…
878
01:22:30,910 --> 01:22:32,910
心都動了
879
01:22:34,910 --> 01:22:37,870
我本來想介紹一個新的乾女兒給你
880
01:22:38,040 --> 01:22:40,200
但是呢，現在人家呢…
881
01:22:40,370 --> 01:22:43,120
心都動了，心有所屬了
882
01:22:43,410 --> 01:22:44,410
還介紹來幹嘛
883
01:22:44,540 --> 01:22:47,040
乾媽，你說什麼？我怎麼會呢？
884
01:22:47,250 --> 01:22:50,290
我西門慶何時對美女冷淡過？
885
01:22:50,870 --> 01:22:52,370
就介紹給我認識吧
886
01:22:52,540 --> 01:22:54,160
來吧
887
01:22:54,450 --> 01:22:57,080
好，就相信你這一次
888
01:22:57,250 --> 01:23:00,370
乖女兒，還不快出來見大官人？
889
01:23:07,330 --> 01:23:08,700
金蓮！
890
01:23:10,950 --> 01:23:13,540
乾兒子，對不起…
891
01:23:13,750 --> 01:23:14,790
我這裡很乾淨
892
01:23:14,950 --> 01:23:17,790
不可以做出傷風敗德的事
893
01:23:22,450 --> 01:23:24,160
這樣行了吧？
894
01:23:39,950 --> 01:23:41,700
不行…
895
01:23:43,410 --> 01:23:44,910
你不想我嗎？
896
01:23:45,080 --> 01:23:48,580
武大郎天生好嫉，雖然出外賣燒餅
897
01:23:48,790 --> 01:23:51,290
但他每隔一個時辰就會回來
898
01:23:52,700 --> 01:23:55,370
他見不到我，就會大吵大鬧
899
01:23:55,500 --> 01:23:57,620
所以我不能出來太久
900
01:23:57,830 --> 01:23:59,370
那我豈不很辛苦？
901
01:23:59,580 --> 01:24:01,120
你晚上來我家…
902
01:24:01,290 --> 01:24:03,490
武大郎他除了夢遊…
903
01:24:03,700 --> 01:24:05,990
就敲鑼打鼓也不會醒
904
01:24:06,700 --> 01:24:07,950
那我…
905
01:24:08,830 --> 01:24:10,660
我今天晚上二更來找你…
906
01:24:11,080 --> 01:24:12,410
好不好？
907
01:24:31,870 --> 01:24:33,080
他來了
908
01:24:37,500 --> 01:24:38,950
小心
909
01:24:48,620 --> 01:24:50,830
金蓮，我好想你
910
01:24:50,950 --> 01:24:52,700
我也是 你可知道…
911
01:24:54,200 --> 01:24:55,660
他睡著了？
912
01:24:56,080 --> 01:24:58,660
睡著了，敲鑼打鼓也不會醒
913
01:24:58,830 --> 01:25:00,660
除非是雞啼
914
01:25:01,160 --> 01:25:02,410
那就好了
915
01:25:02,580 --> 01:25:05,330
現在是二更，何時才到雞啼
916
01:25:05,500 --> 01:25:06,990
我們還等什麼？
917
01:26:07,950 --> 01:26:10,950
不用管他，他夢遊罷了
918
01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:04,080
怕了你
919
01:27:21,580 --> 01:27:22,700
繼續
920
01:28:19,040 --> 01:28:21,120
你好厲害呀
921
01:28:21,540 --> 01:28:23,830
我就是這麼厲害，你喜歡嗎？
922
01:28:37,870 --> 01:28:39,660
老婆，你在搞什麼？
923
01:28:39,790 --> 01:28:41,410
你剛才夢遊
924
01:28:41,620 --> 01:28:43,080
把人家按在神檯上…
925
01:28:43,330 --> 01:28:45,200
差點被你搞死
926
01:28:45,540 --> 01:28:47,120
我有那麼厲害？
927
01:28:48,080 --> 01:28:50,410
你不厲害，誰厲害呢？
928
01:28:50,700 --> 01:28:51,410
那再來一次
929
01:28:51,620 --> 01:28:53,740
與金蓮這一次，令我畢生難忘
930
01:28:53,950 --> 01:28:55,240
我決定要得到她
931
01:28:55,450 --> 01:28:58,950
就算要做出傷天害理的事，我也願意
932
01:29:03,000 --> 01:29:04,410
武大郎那天晚上夢遊之後
933
01:29:04,620 --> 01:29:06,830
受了風寒，臥床不起
934
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:10,620
我看準時機，就在他的藥裡下毒
935
01:30:28,330 --> 01:30:30,160
武大郎死了以後
936
01:30:30,330 --> 01:30:34,950
西門慶就正式收金蓮做他的第二房妻子
937
01:30:35,200 --> 01:30:38,080
從此，西門大官人…
938
01:30:38,330 --> 01:30:42,200
就開始肆無忌憚的荒淫生活
939
01:30:42,410 --> 01:30:46,740
成為真正的一代淫魔
62367
