All language subtitles for Hotel Babylon s04e08.eng

SAM: 'When you own
a five star hotel,

'you have to make
hundreds of decisions a day,

'and hundreds of thousands of pounds
are at stake.

'But that's nothing compared to
the decision I'm facing right now,

'because this isn't about money.

'It's about my life.

'And it all started last week,

'with a kiss,

'something divorced people
don't usually do.

'That's Juliet, by the way,
just in case you were wondering.

'It's an odd feeling,
trying to seduce your ex-wife.

'All that history,

'and sometimes you still feel like
a teenager on their first date.'

Thank you. I was wondering
if I could buy you dinner.

Sorry, tonight's a bit manic.

'Tonight, Claridge's,
just the two of us.

I'd love to, but I've got
a conference call about a wedding.

Fair enough.

Come on.

Where are we going?

You'll see.

Room service.

'But, once things took off,

'it was like we'd never spent
the previous five years apart.'

Well, I thought if you wouldn't
come out for dinner,

then I'd bring dinner to you.

I don't know what to say.

Then don't say anything.

'It was all going so well.

'Then, last night,
everything changed.

'Which is how I came to be standing
here, outside Juliet's office.'

Sam? Sam?

There's a cab waiting for you
outside.

They want to know if you're coming.

Now, there's a question.

KNOCK AT DOOR
Come in.

You're back.
Evidently. Good day?

Six hours of the most boring health
and safety lectures I've ever heard.

Learn anything? Don't leave
sharp objects lying about,

or you might be sued.
Very valuable advice.

What?
You look good.

Sam, maybe we should, um...

talk about all the, er...

Kissing?
Yeah.

Definitely.

I think it's a really good idea.

You don't think we should talk...

I mean, this is a...
This is a very big step.

Shut up.

My laptop, you bastard!

"The maid gasped with pleasure
as Marco made his final thrust.

"They lay in silence
for a moment, spent,

"their naked bodies intertwined.

" 'My name,' said the maid,
'is Tara.'

" 'Pleased to meet you.' "

THEY LAUGH

What's going on?

I found this on the printer. It's
a manuscript for an erotic novel.

Featuring the thinly-disguised staff
of this very establishment. What?

It's really not very interesting.

I am Marco, the sexy Spanish barman.

I have just performed the love
to Tara the maid.

I'm going to be ill.

Your character, Millie, has
a hot scene with Stan, aka Sam.

Oh, yeah, that's more my thing.

Ooh!

Hi, guys.

Ben and I checked this sheikh in
earlier

and he gave, like, a �50 tip
to both of us. How wild is that?

Mel.

Oh, I know, I know,
I shouldn't boast about tips,

I reckon he's got loads
to go around.

Stop talking and adjust yourself.

God! That's so em...

Oh, I'm such a moron!

Oh, they must have been desperate at
the Casparino when they hired her.

Yeah. Understatement.
What about this novel, eh?

It's obviously written
by somebody who works here.

Yeah, Melissa F Jodech.

It's a pseudonym.
What about Juliet?

Nah, she's way too repressed
to write something like this.

JULIET MOANS

Right, come on.
We need to get to this meeting.

I take.
I want to find out who this is.

Er, why?

Because she write about this Marco
with a lot, a lot of passion.

I think she shine the torch for me,
eh?

And she work in this hotel, so...

..she is going to feel
the love of Gino, my friends.

We haven't done that in a while.

About five years.

Yup.

Sorry about your laptop.

SHE GASPS

FURNITURE SCRAPING

JULIET: Come in.

Er, well, we would,
but the door's locked.

Sorry. Come in.

Evening, boss.

MUTTERED GREETINGS

Evening, sorry, we were just
going through the accounts.

It's a bit weird having
a morning meeting in the evening,

but I've been at a health and safety
conference all day.

So, just a quick rundown.
How's the singles evening?

Oh, Becky would prefer us not
to call it a singles night,

it's a romance event. All her
client list are totally top-notch.

All six-figure salaries
and City jobs. Great.

Spend lots of money in the bar.

Actually, she introduced
Tracey Jones to her new bloke.

Ah, the weather girl.

Forecast - happiness. The headlines
wrote themselves, really.

And what else?

I do have a Clefs d'Or
get-together tonight.

It's a meeting that's been
cancelled three times,

so nobody should be bothering me.
Of course.

I'd hate to interrupt the important
business of you getting drunk

with your concierge chums.

It is actually a serious meeting.
They're electing a new chairman.

They've had enough of you already,
have they?

The position only lasts a year,
Emily.

Why do they call it Clefs d'Or?

It's French for golden keys.

All concierges who are members
have to wear them. Those are keys?

I thought they were tiny
squashed up little men, like you.

LAUGHTER

What's this? Have a go at Tony day?

LAUGHTER

OK, so that's it.

So, thanks for getting me
up to speed.

Have a good night, Tony.
Thank you.

Oh, er, Juliet?

Somebody seems to have left
a bra on the floor.

Just thought you might
want to look into that.

DOOR CLOSES

So, um, we should, er...

Yeah.
..get back to, er... work.

Yeah, lots to do.

OK.

JAUNTY PIANO MELODY

Hi, I'm Juliet Miller.
You must be Becky.

Pleasure to meet you. Wanted to see
how you're getting on. Very well.

It's absolutely beautiful,
thank you for what you've done.

Excuse me. Richard.

Hello, darling. Dashing as ever.

Oh, you have to say that,
I'm paying you. No, I'm serious.

You'll break some hearts tonight.
Mm-hm. There's your card.

She skis at Klosters every year
and dines at The Ivy? Aha.

Well, tonight's the night, Becks.

Good luck.

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

All that money, all those good looks

and he just can't find
the right woman.

What's on the cards?

Sorry?
What's on the cards?

Description -
six or seven little clues

to help them find the person
they have the most in common with.

So you've already matched them up?

Actually, that's the sneaky bit.

Everyone here has been
very carefully chosen.

Similar age, background,
salary, interests.

The cards are just an ice-breaker.

Amazing. My God, when I went to
singles nights after my divorce,

it was name tags, dodgy punch
and a grope in the taxi.

Whatever works, I guess!

Becky! You promised me some
important people to schmooze.

Right, er,
how about Graham Philpott,

one of the richest media magnates
in England.

Owner of two broadsheets, a tabloid
and three of the major glossies.

That's him.
Fabulous.

You know,
you really should come along.

I could introduce you to some
highly eligible bachelors.

Oh, I think I'm fine, thanks.

The offer's there.
Hello, good evening.

# Take me right back
To the track, Jack. #

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

Mike, how are you, mate, all right?

Yeah. You're looking good.
Am I bollocks.

New baby's conducting an experiment
in sleep deprivation.

I'd like to tell you it gets easier,
but it's not true.

I'm still pleasantly surprised
you're actually stood there.

Yes, I know, I've been very slack.

All in the past, mate,
you're here now. Thanks, mate.

Hey, Tone.
Ray.

Nice spread.

Thank you.

I heard a nasty rumour.

Oh, yeah? What was that?
The caviar was paid for.

Yes, yes, it's true.
The caviar is paid for.

Tony, it will not do.

The art of the concierge,
mon frere, is to hustle,

to acquire the delicate
and expensive things of life

for nothing.

Yes, well, it is paid for,
but they paid me.

They want us to recommend it.
The maestro.

See that? See that, Ray?
So, dig in, take some home with you.

All right, chaps, actually,

we should get on with the business
of electing our new chairman.

Grab your drinks and your cocks,

let's get over here
and make it happen, shall we?

Now, obviously, you're not gonna
find anyone as handsome or as...

Er, yes.
Sorry to interrupt, gentlemen.

Tony, we've got a bit of a crisis
downstairs. I wouldn't normally ask,

but the night concierge can't deal
with it. What if he wasn't here?

I mean, he is off duty.
And you are?

Er, Mike, I've got this.
Two minutes, max, OK?

Thank you.

Oh, come on.

It's the same old, same old, hm?

This woman wants to send
her breast milk back to New York.

Her baby's run out.
OK.

But she doesn't want it thawing out
on the flight.

She wants it to taste
fresh from the nipple.

That means packing it in dry ice,
which, for some reason,

she's convinced I should have
lying around in the kitchen.

Where are we gonna find dry ice
this time of night?

So, that's why you need me.
Precisely.

Peter Harrison.
Could I check in, please?

Of course you can, Peter.
Let me just call up the details.

This evening's check-ins.
Thanks.

I'm Mel, by the way.

So, are you here on business
or pleasure?

Business.
Mm, that's the worst.

Not that I've ever done it.
Ben?

Look, I've had a long flight.
Could we get on with this, please?

Sure.

Ben, there have been
a few complaints about Mel

and, from all I've seen,
I don't know,

I can't believe she worked at
the Casparino. But she must have.

She's had references.

BLEEPING

BLEEPING INCREASES

Maybe I should give them a call?
No, don't.

I mean, honestly,
if you call the Casparino,

I think she'll be really offended.
BLEEPING

Let her handle Mr Balls' check-in,
later tonight.

But he's a nightmare!
Even I struggle with him. Exactly.

I want to see how she copes.

I want to check in.

Yes, sir, of course.

GENTLE PIANO MUSIC

Gino, I know we've got extra help
at the bar tonight,

but I'd still like you
to do your job. Si.

I am a bad man.

Juliet?

Sorry, I...

It's me, Karen.

Oh, oh, my God!

I didn't... I didn't recognise you.

Well, I was four stone heavier,
my hair was dark,

I had a different nose
and no tits to speak of.

I didn't like to say, but...

You look amazing!

Well, I should bloody hope so,
it cost a fortune!

So, what are you doing?

Well, I'm slaving away
for Malcolm Ridley.

Wow!
Mm.

God, cos last time,
well, you were...

Well, we were both in a bad place
then, weren't we?

But here we are now,
looking for love.

Oh, actually, I'm the manager here.

Wow, that's brilliant!

What about men?

Um, it's complicated.

Yep, it always is.

SHE LAUGHS

Everything's going well in here?
Hi, I'm Sam.

Oh, hi, I'm Karen,
an old friend of Juliet's.

Really?

Mm, we met
at a divorce support group

when she broke up
from that idiot ex-husband.

Karen...
We used to have such a great time

slagging off our useless men,
didn't we?

Actually,
this is my ex-husband, Sam.

Oh.

Um, let's go and get a drink,
shall we?

WHISPERS: I think she likes me.

What are you reading?

"Ladies Today."

I swear you get gayer by the minute.

It's not for me.

It's Mel. She's not exactly
what you think she is.

She's a man!

No, she's... She's a criminal!
Please, stop guessing.

You know she says
she worked at the Casparino?

Mm-hm.
She lied.

She worked in a Travelodge.

Sweet Lord, have mercy.
You haven't heard the worst of it.

She stood up for me,
so I ended up lying for her.

I faked her references.
Ben, you didn't!

Oh!
She's a fraud.

And when Juliet finds out,
I'm in trouble. Big trouble.

How's she gonna find out?

She wants her to check in Mr Balls
this evening. Ouch.

How am I gonna bring her
up to scratch in three hours?

Ben, calm down. We'll help.
We will?

How?

All Mel needs
is to be taught some refinement.

Have you never seen My Fair Lady?

We'll teach her
everything she needs to know.

Now, I have a wine-tasting
in the bar,

but when I'm finished, my friend,

I am your 'enry 'iggins.

Thank you, thank you so much.

James! Dry ice?

Oh, you genius.

Where'd you find that?

Let's just say tonight's production
of The Phantom Of The Opera

is going to be a little less
atmospheric than it usually is.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Mike.
What are you playing at?

It just took a little longer than...
Get up here. I'm on my way up now.

Top you up?

Oh, yes, thanks.

Emily, I've just had a call
from the Nasdan Group.

They want to take
our brand to Hawaii.

I wondered if you could check them
out? Sure. Does it have to be now?

No, half an hour or so is fine.

Why?
Are you looking for your soulmate?

Yeah, right, as if I have time.

The last date I went on,
Michael Jackson was Black.

I find that very hard to believe.

It feels like that now anyway.

That's a shame,
cos love is a wonderful thing.

Wise words. You should turn that
into an '80s power ballad.

So, what's with the guy
old enough to be your father?

Oh, Graham Philpott.

Billionaire, media baron.

Charm him, charm the many
press outlets he owns.

Looks like you're doing
too good a job.

Yeah, he does seem a bit keen.

Well, you can hardly blame him.

Yes, I am very attractive, aren't I?

From certain angles.

Hm.

Unbelievable! Flirting with other
women right in front of you.

Emily's an employee.
Why are you defending him?

Top her up.

Well, come on, fill her up,
don't be shy.

Excuse me.

His endless get-rich schemes
bankrupted you or had you forgotten?

He wasn't all bad.

What about when your mother was ill?

He was finishing a deal. If he could
have got away, he would have.

She was dying

and, just like always, he wasn't by
your side where he should have been.

Your words, sweetheart.

I'm only reminding you
what you used to say.

I know, I was angry back then,
but...

Well, things are different now.

We're thinking about
getting back together.

Oh!

Oh, really? Um...

Oh, well, that's great.

Er, excuse me. Apparently,
there's a wine-tasting competition.

You look like the sort of woman that
could compensate for my ignorance.

Probably not.
OK.

But I'd love to join you
and feel equally ignorant.

Just remember,
he broke your heart once before.

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

LOCK BLEEPS

Can I help you, sir?

Eh...

I work here.
Sure you've got the right room?

Yeah, yeah. It's not that. It's...
LOCK BLEEPS

Did you say you work here?

I'm the concierge.

Yeah, yeah,
maybe you can help me out.

It...
Are you all right?

Yeah, course, I'm fine.
What I need you to do

is lock the door, but from the
outside, so that I can't get out.

Can you do that?
I'm not actually allowed to do that.

Can it be done?

Well, yeah, anything can be done.

Do it.

And listen, right,

if I call, if I beg to be let out,
just don't let me, OK?

Sir...
Liam.

Liam, this is a five star hotel,
it's not a prison.

Look, if you don't do this for me,
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

All I'm asking is just...
OK, fine.

If that's what you want,
then we can do it.

Thanks.

LOCK BLEEPS,
BUZZES

Jules, good news. The Nasdan Group
want us to open in Hawaii.

They're flying me there tomorrow.
That's amazing!

Not the best part. The best part
is I asked for another ticket.

Oh, Sam, I don't know what to say.

Yes would be a good start.

I've been talking to Karen
and thinking about old times.

Stop thinking about the past
and start thinking about the future.

Think about sand and blue sea
and very little clothing.

Is that a yes?

Let me think about it.

Yeah, OK. Whatever you want.

Your friend, Karen?

Oh, she's not my friend,
she's Juliet's.

Fine. Frankly, I'm a little bit
concerned about her.

Why? It's not what I expected from
Malcolm Ridley's right-hand woman.

Malcolm Ridley?
Yes, do you know him?

Yeah, he's an old friend of mine,
but he's retired now.

Really?

THEY LAUGH

I must be seeing things!
That looks like Tony Casemore.

Something I had to deal with.
You know how it is.

Let's get cracking,
shall we, ladies?

OK, this evening,
we've got a long-list of eight.

The idea is pare that down to three

and then we'll meet them again
as a group and decide.

Raymond.

First name, Thomas Pickles.
Great CV.

He did work experience with you
a few years back, Tony.

Tony?

Tommy Pickles?

Sorry, miles away.

I've just had a guest ask me
to lock him into a room.

I'm actually worried
what the hell he's doing.

Your problem is you don't know where
your job ends and your life starts.

No, Mike, there's something off
about this bloke.

I'm genuinely concerned.
He might do himself some harm.

It's no good.
I've got to go and talk to him.

I'll be ten minutes.

THEY GROAN

Liam?

THUD

LOCK BLEEPS

Oi.

Giving your neighbours a headache?

I don't care.

What are you on?

Not on. Off.

I'm going cold turkey.

I thought I'd spend the money

I'd normally spend on heroin
on a posh room for the night.

That's why you wanted
to be locked in?

Argh.

Have you got kids, Tony?

Yeah, two.

Me, too.

I have to do this for them.

HE STAMMERS

Can you stay?

Just keep me distracted?

Liam, I can't get involved.

I think you've got to
do this yourself.

Yeah, I understand.

Argh!

Ahh, ahh.

HE GROANS

You're really gonna
go through this tonight? Mm.

Course I'm gonna stay.
We'll get you through it.

Thank you.

It's time you had a makeover.
Ooh, never had a makeover before.

No kidding.

How long have you had
the Ugly Betty braces in?

18 months.
They'll have to go.

Guys, it's really nice of you,

but I do know
how to make myself look good.

Er, then how do you explain these?

Um, the guy at the shop told me
they're really fashionable.

He lied.
Right, we need to press on.

We have some serious work to do.

What I hope to teach you
is eloquence,

comportment and gracefulness.

Now, the man you will be
checking in this evening

is called Mr Balls.

SHE SNIGGERS
Yes, that's it.

Exactly the response
we have to avoid,

especially when you find out
his first name. What is it?

Dick.
SHE LAUGHS

What are you doing?

Shh.

I'm gonna be cold.
You want help, shut up.

We can't stitch it
while you wear it.

You want needle up your backside?

No, not really, thanks.

Good evening, Mr Balls.

Call me Dick.
SHE LAUGHS

This underwear. Are knickers like
this as well? You want my knickers?

Please.

This man's
a Harley Street orthodontist

who we introduce to all our richest
guests. He owes us a favour.

Just say ahhhhh!

Argh!

OK, here we go.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I look...

I'd no idea I could look like this.

Is it really me?

It's the new you.

I love it.

Except it feels a bit weird
without any knickers. Sorry!

Perhaps I could set you up with one
of the top editors at Conde Nast,

if that would be helpful?
That would be incredible.

Thank you.

Well, if I do that for you, perhaps
you could do something for me?

Yeah, sure, what?

Have dinner with me tonight.

That's a very generous offer,
but I can't.

I'm already having dinner with him.
Sam!

Yeah. This is Sam Franklin,
owner of the hotel.

Oh, well, lucky old you.

Indeed. Because you're taking me
out to dinner tonight,

which is why
I can't go out with Graham.

Right. Well, actually,
I think you're the lucky one.

She's a very expensive date.

You have no idea.

Thank you.

Shall we, um, get another drink?

Yes.

Karen, could I have a word?

Oh, about what?
In private.

Sorry, I'm busy.

I'm afraid I need you to leave.

What? Karen, I know you're not
who you said you were.

It'll be a lot easier
if you just step away.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

You lied, on your application.

You're not Malcolm Ridley's
right-hand woman.

You're not a consultant,
you're not a director,

you're a secretary.

That's not true.

It's not true.

I made some calls.

This event is exclusive
and I won't have people lying.

SHE SOBS

She seemed so charming.

You can't have a relationship
that starts with a lie, can you?

OK, here he comes.
Here we go.

Just stay calm.

Good evening, Mr Balls.

I prefer Dick.

Dick.

Of course.

I require a room on the east side,
street view.

A 45-degree angle to
Piccadilly Circus,

to avoid glare from the billboards,
otherwise I can't sleep a wink.

Right.

COMPUTER BLEEPS

According to our records, you
actually requested a west-side room.

Well, I've changed my mind.

And I need my usual seat
in the restaurant.

Which is where, exactly? Egyptian
sheets, the ones I always have,

I need them,
and an appointment with Gregory.

Gregory? The masseuse, the one
I always... Good God, woman,

I have a simple list of requests.
Have you not...?

This is so infuriating.

I'm so sorry, Dick,
it's just I'm new.

Where did they get you from?
A Travelodge?

KEYBOARD TAPPING

Come on!
HE SHRIEKS

Time's ticking away,
tick-tock, tick-tock.

OK, I've got your room and all other
arrangements will be in place

by the time you get upstairs.

There, wasn't too hard, was it?

Good night, good night.

Good work.
He's always trying to rile people,

so well done for rising above it.

Thank you.

You look fantastic, by the way.

By Jove, I think she's got it.

I'm going home. Mel! You were great.
He saw straight through me, Ben.

What?
I don't belong here.

I should quit.

See you in the morning!

Karen, you've already paid for
your room, you don't have to leave.

That bitch humiliated me.
I just want to go home.

Look...

..why don't you stay?

We'll have dinner. All I did
was tell one small white lie

about how important my job was.

I mean, Richard didn't mind,
so why the hell did it matter?

It shouldn't.

I've just been with too many men
who were Romeo at the bar

and then the next morning
turn into Che Guevara.

Running for the hills.

I just wanted to meet a nice,
rich man who'd take care of me.

Finding somebody with money isn't
necessarily gonna make you happy.

You should look for somebody
who likes you for who you are.

You're not exactly in a position
to lecture me, are you?

What do you mean?

Well, come on!

You dump Sam when he's broke,

and now he's got this hotel
and loads of cash,

you're back together again.

That is not why
we got back together.

Just leave me alone.

Is she all right?

Not really.

How did Becky find out
Karen was lying?

No idea.

Actually, the truth...
The answer's yes.

What?

Yes, I would like
to come with you to Hawaii.

What were you gonna say?

Oh, it doesn't matter.
Really? You'll come? Yeah.

I look at Karen and she's
so desperate and lonely and...

And I'm right here.

You're right here.

HE WHIMPERS

Mate, you're fine, you're fine.

Just stay calm, eh?

So, Maria, Suzanne,
how old are they?

Eight and four.

My ex won't let me see them
unless I get clean.

I've tried before.

I've tried loads of times.

Well, you're doing really well,
mate.

HE GROANS

Come on, mate, you're burning up.
Let's take this off you.

OK? All right?

HE RETCHES

All right, that's it.
Better out than in.

All right?

Yeah?

HE RETCHES

Excuse me, Emily.

Have you got some press releases
I can give to Christianne?

I know there's a slot free
in next month's issue.

Yes, I'll dig them out
and come and find you.

Actually, I'm off shortly.

I haven't found the one.

Oh, well, come and get them now.

They're in the staff office
over here.

Let me find you the latest copy.

Cancel your dinner tonight.

Oh, Graham.
Cancel it.

And come with me
to the South of France.

I have a jet, I have a villa.

It's a very tempting offer,
but I can't.

What's it gonna take?

Everyone has their price.

Not me. Here they are.

A million pounds
to sleep with me tonight.

Come on.

Just let me fiddle around for 20
minutes, I give you a million quid.

It's not such a bad deal, is it?

OK, get off me.
Come on!

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

You've been flirting with me
all night... Get off me!

SHE SHRIEKS

My hero.

Liam!

Oh, Jesus Christ.

I'm not gonna make it.

I've been using for ten years.
My body can't take it.

I'm gonna call an ambulance,
all right? No, no, no. No way, no.

A doctor, then?
No, I can't go to hospital.

It would go down on my record

and Social Services will stop me
ever seeing my girls again.

I need a fix.

No. I'm not gonna make it
any other way.

I just need enough, just to take
the pain off, that's all.

Look, Liam, you can get
through this, all right?

No, no, I thought I could,
but I can't.

What do you want me to do?

You must have looked the other way
for posh guests before.

Yeah, but I've never gone out
and bought it for 'em!

Please, please do this for me.

Please!

Right, well, look, you text your
dealer, tell him to meet me outside

and we'll get you the barest minimum

to get you through the night,
all right? But that's it.

Thank you.

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

So, tell me, just out of personal
interest, you like books?

No.
Maybe you like to read books.

No.
Because you prefer to write?

I not write erotic book!

Right.

Not Tanya. I knew it!

Gino. Get me some ice, please.
And boxing lessons.

I thought I was your hero.

Well, if your hero hurts himself
trying to defend you,

there's not much point having one,
is there?

WHISPERS: Miss Emily.

I know, but I not say.
What?

It's OK, I'll keep it quiet.

But when you're ready,
I'm ready as well.

I can show you
Marco's stick of love.

How delightful.

Gino?

Ice?

Hey! Becky!

You really got me, didn't you?

Haha, very funny!
I want my money back.

Karen, maybe we should...
Oh, piss off, Sam!

I wanna talk to you.

My company is for executives.
You don't fit in.

Why d'you have to be
such a bloody bitch?

What is it?
Because I'm not good enough

to fit into your special little club
for rich people?

Let's get you upstairs, shall we?
Come on.

I just wanted a chance.

You really liked me, Richard,
didn't you?

We were getting on really well.

Can I get you anything?
Go away. Only trying to help.

Have a laugh. Have a gloat
at sad, stupid old Karen.

Come on, that's not fair.

Don't give me that. The only reason
we were friends in the first place

was because you felt superior
to fat old me.

Don't be silly.

Come on, let's get you to sleep.

Yeah, yeah, you two go somewhere
nice and warm and cosy

and get loved up.

She was pregnant with your baby.

What?

After you separated.

She was having your baby.

I was with her
when she got rid of it.

My God.

I was with her
when she decided not to tell you.

Is that true?

Is that true?

Yes.

Why?

You always thought
you were better than me.

DOOR CLOSES

Ohh.

Sam.

DOOR CLOSES

Sam.
Why didn't you tell me?

You'd already left.
You were in Vienna.

We weren't speaking.
I thought it was the best...

You thought you'd make that decision
all by yourself?

Not tell me you were
getting rid of our child?

What if I had told you?
What would you have done?

I would have come back. Sam,
you weren't ready to be a father

or a husband! We were hundreds
of thousands of pounds in debt!

We could have found a way.
How?

You were never there!

You were never there.

We could have a son.

We could have a daughter.

Right now, you and I.

We could be a family.

I've found out who wrote the book.

It's not Miss Juliet, or Tanya.

It's Miss Emily.

The minx!

And she has said
that she's interested.

Really? Bully for you.

But I'm surprised at her spelling.

She can't spell
to save her pretty legs, so...

They're probably just typos.

And also, then the book is not sexy,
it's just bad.

I mean, listen.

"Marco was in a state of 'desiray'."

Disarray!

And... "The raindrops outside
were a 'coop de gratch'

"of pathetic 'fallicky'
reflecting the 'ambulance'..."

Oh, for God's sake, it's 'a coup
de grace of pathetic fallacy'

and it's 'ambiance'.

Just because you don't understand it
doesn't mean it's badly written,

you... imbecile.

You? You!

The sexy, sexy waiter.

Any chance of keeping this a secret?

Filthy man.

You are a dirty man.

DISTANT SIREN WAILS

DOG BARKS

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

Cheers.

SOFT PIANO MELODY

You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.

See you, Richard.
Thank you for coming.

You know James write that book.

What?
The dirty sex book.

All come from his filthy mind.

Eh, I know all along.

Vodka, please.

Now I get it.

Get what?

The reason you humiliated Karen.

It's cos of him, isn't it?
You were jealous.

He keeps coming to these events.

And every time, I say,
"Today's the day.

"I'm going to tell him."

And then he stands there
in front of me and...

EMILY: # I die a little... #

For what it's worth,
you should tell him.

You're not gonna report me?
To who?

Oh, the press, my clients.

If anyone understands
how complicated love is, it's me.

You don't often get a second chance.

You should go, do something
about it, before it's too late.

None of this means I like you,
by the way.

# ..be in the know

# Think so little... #

I know.

# ..me

# They allow you to go

# When you're near

# There's such an air

# Of spring about it

# I can hear a lark somewhere

# Begin to sing about it

# There's no love song finer

# But how strange the change

# From major to minor

# Every time we say goodbye. #

I didn't know you could sing.

I can't, I was lip-syncing.

THEY LAUGH

You want to join me?

Yeah.

LOCK BLEEPS

Your mate Dave sends his regards.

SHOUTING: Get down on the floor!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, all right!

Hands behind your back, face down!

We've been watching you
and your friend, Mr Casemore.

You're under arrest for dealing
heroin. I am not a drug dealer!

Don't look at me! Don't look at me!

MIKE: Sometimes,
you've just gotta say no, Tony.

Mike?
THEY LAUGH

I believe you've met Liam,
the new concierge at The Belmont?

And amateur actor.

This whole thing's a set-up?

We got bored of waiting
after your boss dragged you out.

Decided to see how far
you'd go for your job.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

You complete and utter bastards!

So, was I good?

Are you serious?
I'm gonna smash your face in!

LAUGHTER

I can't believe that. Feel my heart!
Are you all right?

LAUGHTER

I can't believe it!

LAUGHTER

That is genius!
Where'd you get these guns?

It is so tough,
getting back together with an ex.

I mean, you have all this history
and...

Mm. ..think you can pick up
where you left off,

but you never can.

You've been there.

Oh, yeah, been there,
bought the T-shirt,

had it mass-produced
in a Bangladeshi sweatshop.

THEY LAUGH

But I am still single.

Yeah, what is it with that?

I mean, you are stunning.

You're great at your job,

you can sing.

I'm in a band.

Really? I'd like to hear that.

Yeah, you should come,
provide security.

Beat up all my stalkers.

What are the hours?

Long.

But with a very good chance

of walking in on me
in my dressing room.

I can't believe I've never noticed
how beautiful you are.

What took you so long?

I'm drunk.

As am I.

I should go home.

That does seem
an awful waste of hormones.

I'll see you tomorrow, Sam.

Night.

Night.

THEY MURMUR APPRECIATIVELY

Hey! Looking stylish.

Listen, I just wanna say
thanks for everything...

..but I've definitely
made up my mind. Mm.

I'm leaving.

I thought you might say that.

Which is why, er... Actually,
maybe we should just show her.

Come on, come on, this way.

Morning.
Morning.

Emily.

I'm sorry,
I was a bit drunk last night.

I hope I didn't...

No, I had a good time.
Good.

Good. Again, I...
Look.

I know that you and Juliet
is this big, complicated thing,

but, for the record,

I like loud concerts,
good food and late nights.

Wow.

I don't know what to say.

No pressure.

I just want you to know
that I'm here.

Et voila!

Er, I don't understand.

Thank you very much.
This is all for me?

You can't tell somebody
how to be five star.

You have to experience it
for yourself.

But I can't afford all this.

You don't have to.

What did I do to deserve this?

I don't belong in a five star hotel.

Hey, listen, I once made a flaming
B52 for the Sheikh of Arabia

and set fire to his robes.

Up to five years ago,
I was 20 stone.

I used to shoplift.

That's nothing.
In Croatia, I shoplift,

I sell drugs.
For short time, I make drugs.

You take a big vat...
OK, that'll do.

You know, we all make mistakes, OK?
It's all just part of the process.

The five star treatment begins here.

ALL: Cheers!

Oh, talking of mistakes,
Melissa F Jodech?

It's an anagram of James Schofield.

Apparently,
you're Gino's dream woman.

I didn't know you wrote porn.

So, tell me, do you write it
one-handed or...

For your information,

I have a three-book deal

with Hot Body publishing.

Yes, not so funny now, is it?

And certainly not as funny
as thinking you've been arrested.

In my defence, the uniforms
were very convincing.

They were from a fancy dress shop.

These guys were carrying machine
guns. They put in a lot of effort!

I hear you cry like a baby.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hi.

Can't believe you still
haven't found a place to live.

Have you come to lecture me
about my living arrangements?

I should have told you.

It's a long time ago.

It was still wrong.

And I know I can't change it now,
but...

..not a day goes by
when I don't think about it.

And regret it.

And I'm so sorry.

Is that all?

No.

I also want to say that I love you.

And I always have done, Sam.

My bags are packed
and they're sitting in the office.

And I would like
to still go away with you,

if you'll have me.

Don't...

Don't say anything now.

Just think about it.

Just promise me
that you'll think about it.

SAM: 'And this is where we came in.

'I'd made very few good decisions
in my life.

'How the hell
am I gonna make this one?

'On one hand, Juliet, with all that
history and unfinished business.

'A leap of faith
and I want to make it,

'but there's so much riding on it.

'Even if I can forgive her, if she
comes with me, it's for keeps.

'But can we ever move on
from our past?

'On the other hand, the future,

'the possibility of something new,
uncomplicated,

'unburdened by the weight
of what's gone before.

'Someone like Emily.'

Sam? There's a cab waiting for you
outside.

They want to know
if you're coming or not.

Now, there's a question.

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