Original subtitles

SAM: 'Desire - to want something desperately.

'To covet or to wish for is part of human nature.

'As creatures, we are rarely satisfied with what we have.

'But, luckily, you've just arrived at Hotel Babylon,

'the house of your fairy godmother.

Thanks.

'So, what can we do for you? A guilty pleasure?'

"The dolphins swam towards each other,

"as fast as their little fins could manage,

"until, finally, their shiny noses met."

'Literary knowledge?

'Or maybe just a little companionship?

I'm terribly sorry, but this lift's out of order.

'At Hotel Babylon, we can take you away from the daily grind

'and make your dreams come true.'

Going up.

Sorry.

Hey, Jules, you know it's our anniversary today?

We're not married any more. Yeah, but if we were.

It's tomorrow, not today.

Ha-ha, so you did remember?

Well, we were married for four years, so...

believe it or not, yes, I did remember.

'It doesn't matter how unobtainable that fantasy might seem,

'spend a night at Hotel Babylon and anything can happen.'

Here we go.

Mind the... Ooh, careful with that painting. It's worth a fortune.

Even more now he's dead.

It has to be up in the suite by tomorrow. Senora Cucci's request.

OK, just...

Team are gonna be pretty upset. We'll break it to them gently.

Oh, that's, er, interesting.

Christiano, dead? How?

Heart attack. Hereditary.

That's tragic. I'm sorry. I know you all knew him.

There'll be a private family funeral in London tomorrow,

but, until then, his body will rest here at the hotel.

We'll be holding the pre-funeral reception.

His body's coming here? His request.

He loved London and Hotel Babylon.

So, the ex-wife and the widow under one roof?

I'd put them on different floors, if I were you.

I'm sure they'd appreciate that. So, where will his, um...

..well, he, be lying?

Well, we can free up the Hanging Gardens suite

if I move the baby shower to another room.

Well, the woman who's organising the baby shower

is a Sunday Times journalist, Charlotte Newhouse,

and she's doing a piece on our very first baby shower, so...

We need to keep her happy. Basically, yes.

Sam, why don't you look after her? Fine.

You and six women? You'll love it.

I don't know about that. I usually just prefer one on one.

And, um, the awards in the restaurant? Awards?

Is that what this is? The Matricular Accountancy Awards.

The Burlington had a rat infestation,

so they had to move venue at the last minute

and we stepped into the breach.

Do we know who's hosting them yet? Jim Doody, just confirmed.

Well, we sound overstretched to me.

Perhaps we need a temporary addition to the management team.

I could offer my services for this funeral event, for instance.

Or maybe it's time to start thinking about creating a new position,

say, er, Director of Food, for example?

Oh, here we go, Mr Creepy's off crawling again.

Someone who oversees everything food-related in the hotel.

I mean, Juliet, I don't just want to look after the restaurant forever.

OK, James, you can do the funeral reception.

Really?

With Gino.

Gino? Gino?

Good communications at all times,

but any problems, come and see me. OK?

I really don't need Gino.

James, you do need Gino. Anything else, come and see me.

How about it? Me and you, eh, partners.

Like Danger Mouse and Penfold.

Yes, we can discuss the arrangements later in the bar.

Say six o'clock. Six o'clock, OK.

This is it.

Right, if I can get the job,

then I can pay my way and I'll give you half the rent.

Mel, you ain't gonna get a job here.

Why not?

Cos this place is class and you're, well, not.

God, I must have been drunk.

When I said you could move in with me,

I didn't think you'd actually turn up on my doorstep.

HE SNIFFS

Hey, what are you doing with my bag?

It's just a stag weekend, Mel, yeah?

You were only meant to be a one-night stand, not all this.

Two nights with you and I've had it.

You should probably just go back to Doncaster.

What?! You heard.

It's over. ENGINE STARTS

O-V-E-R.

Got it?

You can't!

I've nowhere to go.

Hi... Ben.

Yes?

I'm here about a job. Oh, my God.

Are you her? Who? The new receptionist?

Yeah.

That's me. You used to work at the Casparino.

Yeah.

Why do I find that a little bit surprising?

Oh, that's me all over.

Surprise, surprise!

Except I'm not Cilla. I'm Mel.

Oh, not Isabel?

Isabel?

Isabel? Mel. Isabel.

Middle name. Yeah, sometimes I change it round.

Are you a little bit special?

No, I don't think so.

OK. You need to get changed, quickly.

Chef? Chef, where is he?

No idea. CLATTERING

Oh, don't tell me that was a tureen! They're hired.

Ahhh.

No, no, no, the squid ink, the caviar and the truffles

go in the cold store, not the fridge.

Right.

I thought we were having a meeting.

Oh, God, Gino, not now.

I've been waiting at the bar.

What for, the seasons to change?

Will somebody please move these boxes?

I'm meant to be helping you, as Juliet said.

Would you stop following me around?

You're like some little Spanish limpet.

Whoa! Oh, look out.

These boxes! How many times?

You look like you're struggling here. I am absolutely fine.

Don't forget, I'm your deputy. I can help.

We can make decisions together. Ohh.

All right, you can be in charge of the glasses.

Right, good. Good.

What? The scary witch is coming and she wants to see you.

What are you talking about? Oh, my God!

That's Luna, Christiano's widow. She can't come in here.

I'm sorry, she looked like she was going to pluck my eyes out,

so I said yes. Tanya, you can't...

I need to sit down. Chair.

We have one.

Senora Cucci.

It's James. We met last year.

Allow me to offer my deepest sympathies.

Just to let you know that I will personally be in charge

of all the arrangements for tomorrow,

so if there's anything you need... Nanny, take him.

BABY CRIES

I would like to see the flowers.

Wow, you look great.

Well, you know, we're welcoming a funeral party,

so I thought I should...

Upstage the widow?

Dress accordingly.

PAPARAZZI SHOUTING

Hi.

Jim.

Oh, my God.

Juliet.

Are you? Yeah. How are you?

Great.

Mm. It's so good to see you.

You, too.

SHE LAUGHS

Look at you!

Amazing!

Thank you.

Sorry, Jim, this is Emily, Head of PR.

Hi, Emily, Jim. Emily'll be showing you round the restaurant

where the awards will be taking place. Now, if you like.

Great. I can't get over this.

I was expecting to come here and do the most boring gig

in the history of the world and now... We haven't met.

Sam Franklin, owner of the hotel.

Wow, the full welcoming committee.

Well, we should probably let Jim get off, actually.

Jim, if there's anything I can do for you, anything at all,

please don't hesitate to shout.

I should probably check in with your manager at some point.

Yeah, she's my agent.

She'll be here later, she's in meetings at the moment.

Jules!

Are we meeting for a drink later?

Yes. Tonight, in the bar.

I'll see you there.

Didn't know Juliet knew Jim Doody.

Neither did I.

She wants to be careful there. Why?

Jim Doody? King of the love rats?

That'll be the baby shower, then.

Excuse me. Mm.

But I wanted tulips. Tulips?

I want the coffin here by the window,

surrounded by tulips.

These roses aren't black enough.

Black tulips are blacker.

But the Baccara rose

is regarded as one of the blackest flowers that there is,

a thing of such beauty and pedigree...

Are you saying I've no taste?

No, no, good God, no.

I loved my Christiano.

He deserves the best.

Absolutely, Senora Cucci. Good.

Because there is already something about you

that is making my teeth chitter-chatter.

And you know what that means?

No.

Before Vesuvius erupts,

there is a little murmur from the top of the volcano,

like a chitter-chatter,

because soon, the lava will come. LOCK BLEEPS

Luna Cucci.

Gino? Si.

Your papa was from Sorrento.

Hey! Did your mama make it to Disneyland?

Yes, she did... Right!

Well, I have a good idea.

Why don't you, Gino, take Senora Cucci to her room?

Of course.

Your chamber awaits.

Did your papa get his new hip? Ah, si.

This is the staff canteen.

That's Tanya, Head of Housekeeping, Tony, Concierge.

This is Isabel. Isabel's our new receptionist. Hi.

Very nice to meet you.

It's really exciting, meeting everyone.

So excited, I might do some kind of dance!

Nice.

Isabel. Isabel?

Juliet. We've been talking on the phone.

The hotel manager.

Oh, hi!

Hi. Sorry it's been a bit frantic. Welcome.

Did you bring the other references?

I mentioned them on the phone last night.

Oh, sorry, I forgot.

Could you have them mailed over? By tonight, preferably.

I'm assuming you're OK with the check-in system.

I think it's the same as the Casparino? Of course, yeah.

You worked at Casparino's?

That's what I said. We're honoured.

You never know, she might have a few tips for you, Ben. Good luck today.

Thanks.

Sorry again it's not the suite you ordered.

I wouldn't wanna... Upset a journalist?

I'm joking. It's fantastic. You've started very well.

Good. We hope the expectant mother approves.

Precious? Oh, she'll love it.

Oh, I need to talk to you about baby food canapes.

And did you get the nappy cake?

We did indeed, yes. Baby food canapes?

For the party games. We're playing guess the baby food.

If you need anything else, madam, just please come to me.

Thank you. And if you're all really nice to me,

the article might even end up on the front page of the travel section.

Something tells me you've done this before. Hotel reviews, yes.

Baby showers, no.

What, no-one's ever given you a baby shower?

I haven't got kids. Never got round to that.

You?

No, no kids.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Yes, right, so, we'll let you get settled in

we'll contact you later to go over the details for tomorrow.

Sounds great.

Oh, hello.

Ooh, liking the black look.

I can't wear black.

Pale skin, you see.

Makes me look like a dead person.

Eva Cucci. I am here for the funeral reception tomorrow.

Right.

OK.

Phil McGuinness. I'm here for the night, in a suite.

Of course.

HE TAPS KEYBOARD Ah, here we are.

A suite. A superior suite.

Oh. Are you in a superior suite?

Yes. You seem surprised by that.

No. Why would you be surprised by that?

I'm not. I'll just check you in.

I won't keep you a moment.

SHE TAPS KEYBOARD

COMPUTER BLEEPS

Ah, here's your booking.

Oh, here we are. Great! One minute.

SHE SIGHS

I've got you a nice room.

If you could just sign there.

And all done.

Thank you.

I really want to see the room where the funeral reception will be.

Do you want to go to your room first, settle in?

And I'll ask someone to pop in and take you there.

Grazia.

Su, su, andiamo.

How much longer will this take?

Oh, not long now.

Sir.

Sir.

That's better. Little bit of respect.

I thought you lot were supposed to have

some sort of training in customer service.

Dry cleaning, back by eight at the latest.

No. No, no, no, this is all wrong.

Christiano hated tulips.

We need the Baccara roses.

They're the closest flower to black and much more sophisticated.

I couldn't agree more,

but I probably will have to check that with...

Christiano's widow.

Scusi, I was married to Christiano for 24 years.

Oh, of course, I didn't mean...

I was his muse for 30 years.

I was also his best friend and the mother of his firstborn child.

I'm so sorry.

Must be a... dreadful shock.

Yes, it was.

And that woman was nothing but a last-minute addition

to Christiano's life.

She did nothing but drain his soul and his wallet.

Hey.

Everything OK? Yes.

Great. Juliet.

I would just like to say thank you, for giving me this opportunity.

If you do well at this,

then I will consider opening a position of Director of Food.

Thank you. I won't let you down.

Good. Oh, now, the funeral reception is at 10:30 tomorrow morning,

but the coffin is arriving at eight this evening,

so we'll need a manager to be with it.

Me?

Overnight?

You'll cope beautifully and I doubt he snores.

Ha.

Here we go. Thank you very much. Look at that. Isn't it ugly?

Baby shower guest list - thought you should have a copy.

Jim seemed nice. Yeah, he is. Got a bit of a reputation, though.

No, he hasn't. Yeah, he has.

Sam, are you stirring? Why would I be stirring?

I don't know,

I thought you'd be relieved or something that I was moving on.

Yeah, moving on, seeing each other with other people, it's good.

It's just I'm finding it a bit... A bit what?

Weird, that's all.

Are you?

Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

Ooh, hi, can I help?

Yeah, I'm here to see Juliet Miller.

What's the name, please?

Isabel Pritchard.

Are you...

..here about a job? Yeah.

The receptionist job?

Yeah.

Oh, God, are we gonna be working together?

Oh!

What's it like here?

It's all right, actually, it's a breeze.

Oh, good. Casparino was a boot camp.

Just have a seat in the bar and Juliet'll be with you shortly.

OK.

Room service.

It was just a bit of wind. If he cries again, let me know

and I'll come and make him burp like a bullfrog.

Ah.

What are you doing here?

I have every right to be here.

Why is she in the room next door to me?

There has obviously been a mistake. I can only apologise.

You don't deserve to be here.

Excuse me, I was married to Christiano before you were born.

And it's starting to show.

Ladies, please, now, I'm sure we can work this out.

I just need to ask which one of you would be prepared to move?

I'm not moving.

I'm not moving, I am his widow.

How dare you expect me to move?!

His widow, he only painted you once, what does that say?

Because he couldn't concentrate, looking at me for all that time.

He just wanted to make love to me.

No, he said you were hard-faced.

He did not say that. He did.

Now, come on, we're all adults here.

I want to see the manager of the hotel!

Ladies, ladies, what's going on here? Gino, I am dealing with this.

We meant to put you in the rooms next door to each other.

What?

What? What?

Si, si. Listen to Gino.

Christiano wanted you both here.

We are all here to celebrate his life, his loves,

his family, his work. Gino...

You were both part of his life.

You were... and you were.

Please, now is not the time for competition.

Eh?

Now is a time for respect.

The time for competition is over now.

It's over.

He is right. Of course he's right.

His father is from Sorrento.

Such a wise family.

Thank you, Gino.

Thank God for Gino!

Yes, praise the Lord.

It's Tanya, isn't it?

Hi, we met earlier.

There seems to be a problem in the top suite -

a spillage of some description - and they want you.

Now, apparently.

Up and down, up and down, like tart's knickers.

Upstaging me is not in your job description.

Oh, hang on one giddy minute, Mr Sergeant Major.

You only angry because you bitted off more fat than you can chew.

Oh, please. Yeah, it's true.

You know you cannot work without Gino.

Quite frankly, I can only work without Gino.

OK, sack me.

Fine.

You are sacked.

Isabel, hi. Juliet can't make it right now.

Could you, er, come with me?

Sorry to keep you waiting, but we can get started now.

Right, all the cleaning products are along here.

What? I don't clean.

Oh, for the first six months, everyone does everything here.

Juliet's rules.

Understand your colleagues' workload.

Oh, I'm not doing that. She can't make me.

She can. She docks the wages if the loos aren't super, super shiny.

You know what? This really... This really isn't me.

I'm gonna go. You can tell Juliet whatever you like.

Er, excuse me.

Nobody mentioned that it would be open.

Tradition.

This one needs a little bit of breathing space.

Craig, it's me, Mel.

Will you call me back on my mobile? It's just...

I don't have anywhere to sleep tonight and I was wondering whether,

just for tonight, I could...

..find you a suite.

Why not? Push the boat out, happy birthday.

Look forward to seeing you then, then.

My shirts aren't in my room.

I just had a message, Mr McGuinness.

We're very sorry, but there was a problem with one of the machines,

so your shirts will be ready in 15 minutes.

I needed them for eight o'clock. I'm so sorry, sir.

Just a bit longer. I don't think you heard me.

I said I needed them for eight o'clock.

PEN CLICKS

What are you doing?

Someone should pick that up. Sorry?

Pick it up. Sir...

Dry cleaning can't be late, Ben.

Finally. Thank you.

Ohh, mmm.

Come here, Ambrosio.

Hey. Hi.

JULIET LAUGHS

Mr and Mrs Fox, how was it? Excellent, thank you. Great.

All nice things, I hope? Of course.

Table good? Oh, perfect, thank you.

I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a drink after dinner?

There's a new cocktail menu you really should sample,

and drinking cocktails alone might seem a bit... Sad?

Yeah.

Yes, OK.

Good.

I'll see you over there.

OK, I want to know everything.

What sort of things?

Whether you're happy, fulfilled.

Why you didn't marry me.

Did you ask me?

Too scared.

You were just...

too gorgeous.

Stop it.

That's good.

Mm, lychee martinis, does it for me every time.

So, night after night in five star hotels...

..somewhere to bring your gentlemen callers?

You'd think so, but no.

I'm too busy, really.

I'm single, very happy. I can do what I want.

Anyway, I'm very choosy. Mm.

What about you? Oh. No.

No-one.

I don't normally do this, but...

..I don't suppose you want to grab a bottle of tequila

and take it up to my suite?

I'd love to.

I'll get it.

Dennis, can I get a bottle of Don Eduardo, please?

Bottle?

Bloody hell, you're keen.

Ah, you told me to look after her.

Sam...

What?

Nothing, it's just...

Just looks a bit...

A bit what?

Nothing.

No. She looks nice. Thank you.

Jules? Mm?

Have a nice evening.

You, too.

DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES

SIRENS WAIL

So, what now?

Well, officially, I'm still at work, so...

So, does that mean that I can't kiss you?

What's going on?

Sorry...

I was just coming up.

What the hell are you doing with my husband?

What?

This is Sophie, my agent

and my wife.

Oh, my God.

I should go.

SHE SOBS

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, how you doing?

THEY CHEER

Your final fling, eh?

Who's the lucky one? PHONE RINGS

I'm getting married. What you want?

Gino, the body's gone.

I woke up and it wasn't there any more.

What, you been at the Glenmorangie?

Gino, please.

I need you to come back to the hotel now.

Why, are you begging me?

Yes.

I love it when you beg. Make me feel like a king!

Hurry up!

OK, I'm coming!

Sorry, girls, I have to go.

Ohh! Hey, these are ours.

OK, bye.

James?

I'm in here.

I mean, where could it have gone?

A dead body can't just vanish, can it, hm?

Maybe it's one of his obsessed fans who's run off with it.

I don't know, it could be anything. Before we start,

I'll wait for an apology.

What? Otherwise, I go back to my pretty girls.

Apologies!

OK, I leave you to find the body snatcher on your own.

All right, all right, Gino!

Hmm.

I apologise.

Apology accepted.

Now, Mr Director of Food, let's go.

Like hunters.

DOOR SLAMS

Go on.

HE WHISPERS

ALL SCREAMING

Mine.

Shirt.

We... really... shouldn't.

It's all a mess now. Everything.

But I was hungry.

Christiano, calm down. Talk to us, huh?

OK.

I am in debt.

A lot of debt.

Christiano, your paintings! You must be a very wealthy man.

Expensive first wife, divorce lawyers, two daughters

and now my beautiful Luna, who is the biggest spender of all.

So, now...

I must pretend to die.

The paintings go up in value, the loan sharks get their money

and I tell my lovely Luna the good news

and we live happy ever after.

But how?

Didn't the funeral parlour notice

that your dead body was actually breathing?

The pallbearer is my man.

He was going to help me sell the paintings.

He has arranged everything.

No, no, no, Christiano, it's over.

We have to tell the manager of the hotel.

I know.

You do what you have to do.

You are right,

for me, it is over.

HE CRIES

Do we really have to tell Juliet?

Well, if we do, she'll cancel the reception.

Well, of course, she has to.

There's no dead man.

If there's no dead man, there's no crying, no sad music.

That's a disappointing funeral.

Gino, listen to me. I have been languishing

in the backwaters of this hotel for far too long.

This is my moment, Gino, I am so close, I can taste it.

You want to help a man fake his own death,

just so you can get promotion?

Yes. And you think Gino will agree to this?

I don't want to get you into trouble,

but, maybe, if we are careful,

it is possible.

I am truly desperate.

HE SOBS

SAM: 'Some of us go to perverse lengths to fulfil our dreams

'and, sometimes, things can get a bit strange.

'And perhaps a little bit uncomfortable, painful, even.

'Pursuing what we think we want can give us the hangover from hell.

'But sometimes, suddenly, from nowhere,

'comes a little gift from heaven -

'albeit with strings attached.'

Morning, gorgeous.

Breakfast?

I should go.

But last night, you said you'd hang around today and help.

I did? Mm-hm.

Charlotte, did we, er...

Well, of course. You don't remember?

Oh, God.

Charming! I... Sorry.

Yes, of course, I'd love to stay and help.

Great. Well, come on, then. We've still got loads to sort out.

HE GROANS

Hi, Mrs Bergen. Yeah. We've arranged your car to the hospital,

so it's gonna... I'd like to settle up.

That means you need to add up some numbers. Can you do that?

What's the matter, cat got your tongue? I can do that for you, sir.

Ooh.

Sir, I'm sorry, but there seems to be a problem with your card.

What?

Your card. It's been declined.

What do you mean, declined?

Well, maybe you haven't got enough funds in your account?

I beg your pardon!

OK.

COMPUTER BLEEPS

It's obviously some kind of mistake. I mean, it's, um...

It's... What are you? What are you doing?

Instructions from the bank, and I always like to do as I'm told.

Cash is fine, but we need it within the hour.

Fine, that's fine.

Fine.

What?

He deserved it. Banks don't do that any more.

They do.

They don't.

Why don't you know that?

Oh, God.

Who are you?

SHE SIGHS

Mel.

Mm. And have you ever worked at a hotel before, Mel?

I was head receptionist at the Travelodge in Doncaster.

Oh, we are blessed.

You thought I was the new girl and I really wanted to work here,

so I just lied. Now Juliet's about to find out,

cos I haven't got references, so don't worry about shopping me -

I'm already sacked.

Thanks for doing that credit card thing.

It was quite unpleasant.

What? You heard me.

Don't make me say it again.

You're welcome.

I feel a little bit funny. Christiano, you need to be ready.

They're about to come in.

I know, but I am nervous.

Do you think Luna will be angry?

I have lied to my Luna.

You don't need to think about that now.

No? No.

She is a good woman. Yes.

A good woman will forgive.

Christiano, do you think that she is the right woman for you?

What?

Why?

She and the nanny.

I saw them kissing and it was hot.

My Luna and Ambrosio?

HE LAUGHS

Are you sure? Completely sure.

What are you talking about? When did you find this out?

I will ask her myself! Oh, God, I can't believe this.

Gino, why did you have to tell him now? He needed to know.

I am going! No, no, no, no, Christiano.

Don't listen to him, he's normally wrong. Listen to me.

If you go and see her now, that will be it.

All this planning for nothing.

You need to keep your eye on the money. Think!

You just need to get through today, yes?

My Luna.

But I am doing it for her! She's coming.

OK? Uh-huh.

Oh, there he is!

He is OK. He looks so beautiful.

In fact, I've never seen him look so well.

Yep, ice bucket coming up. I'll be back in a minute.

OK.

PHONE RINGS Concierge desk.

Tony, look, I think I've stitched myself right up.

I'm going to be at this bloody baby shower all day. Nice one.

Come and get me, will you? I'm on my way.

EXCITED CHATTER

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

I want to apologise. Save it. I'm working.

Come on, Jules. Don't call me that.

Please, look, Sophie and I got married two years ago.

We kept it very low-key. We're more like business partners.

I don't think she sees it like that.

She's just so jealous. I have to watch what I do, who I see.

Oh, you poor, poor boy. I wonder why that is? Hi, Jim.

Hi. Loving your work. Thanks.

This is a big deal for me.

I really like you.

And I'm supposed to be flattered, am I?

A famous comedian chooses little me and I'm supposed to be grateful?

Why do people like you even get married?

You know what? I would save the money, spend it on call girls.

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

OK, everyone, so listen carefully.

We've got a schedule of games, then present-giving.

You're not drinking, are you? Thought I'd have one.

You're pregnant, Presh!

This looks like fun!

Sorry to disturb, ladies. Could I speak with Mr Franklin?

Oh, I'm sorry... You've not got any idea where he is at the moment?

LAUGHTER

What do you think, ladies?

I don't think he's going anywhere.

Playing a starring role in the game of the century.

LOW MURMURS

James?

Mm?

What are you doing? Nothing.

My darling Christiano has flown,

to a land far beyond.

LUNA CRIES

I was your servant, my darling,

and you were my world. THUDDING

LUNA CRIES

A loving wife

has lost her husband.

CHRISTIANO GROANS

My beautiful little baby, he will never know his father.

SHRIEKING

Dio...!

Quite a performance, you little slut.

Are you quite sure this is my little boy?

I am so sorry, my friends.

Christiano is not dead.

He is alive!

Oh, Christiano.

Did you know about this?

No!

Stay here. I'm going to have to call the police.

The fraud squad are gonna love this.

BOTH SHOUTING

Christiano!

Happy now?

# Don't you touch my boyfriend

# He's not your boyfriend. # MUSIC STOPS

Come on, you have to put it on now. I don't have to do anything.

It's your baby shower!

No, I think it's your baby shower. What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you have been a little bit obsessed, Charlotte,

with the whole thing. I don't know about obsessed,

just trying to give everyone a good time.

If they don't want to play... Brilliant, thanks for that.

I mean, what is all this shit? It's not shit!

It's a baby shower. I want you to have the perfect baby shower.

I don't need it. I've got my Doug and I've got my baby,

which I know is a problem for you.

What? Well, you haven't found a bloke yet, have you?

You must be doing something wrong.

I'm doing fine. You just can't seem to pin them down, can you?

The other night, Doug and I were trying to remember

how long your last relationship actually was.

You are so bloody smug, aren't you?

At least I don't have a husband who can't keep his dick in his pants.

Doug? It's nonsense.

Not what you said last Christmas Eve in your conservatory.

Things were unravelling between the two of you,

then suddenly you're pregnant, so I ended it.

This baby shower is a pathetic attempt at an apology.

You little bitch.

Oh!

Don't you dare follow me.

Precious? Leave me alone. Precious! Leave me alone!

I can't believe...

Sorry to disturb them. Sam, I need you.

I've got to go.

Great, another deserter who doesn't come up with the goods. What?

Yeah. Sorry, you passed out last night, I lied.

Oh, my days at Babylon are over.

Oh, will you stop whinging?

I am so sorry.

I should thank you for going through with this.

You tried to make it happen for me

and, for that, I will always be grateful.

Don't worry, I won't say anything to the police.

You are both safe.

So, you didn't see him move?

Hear him breathe?

No.

No, I can't believe how dead he looked,

actually.

Amazing.

Dead as a dodo.

Deader than that, even.

Gino, you were close to Christiano.

Yes. Maybe he came to you.

Someone had to help him.

He needed to eat, he needed to drink.

Did he confide in you, Gino?

Gino...

..knew nothing about it. Sorry?

But I did.

I helped Christiano.

Why?

Juliet, I really wanted to manage this event for you.

The Director of Food job depended on it.

James, Sam and I need to talk.

Yes, of course.

You didn't need to do that.

No, I didn't.

It's the mark of a true leader.

Thank you.

I get you a drink.

It could be your last.

Thanks. Because I'm OK, but you...

Yeah, yes, thank you, Gino.

Shut up!

Oh, Isabel, I need those references.

Oh, right.

Here they are, Isabel. You left them in the locker room.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, and Isabel was too polite to tell us, but her name is Mel.

It was an admin error over at the agency.

Oh, you should have said. Mel it is, then.

OK.

I owe you a really giant drink for that. No drinks.

This doesn't mean we're suddenly friends, OK?

No cinema on a Sunday, no, "Do you want to come over for some pasta?"

OK.

But thank you.

James.

No.

Sam and I have talked.

I understand.

This is a serious business.

Of course.

You were prepared to help fake a man's death for a job promotion.

I'd say that demonstrated a rather impressive commitment to your work.

You can keep your job, but don't ever pull a stunt like that again.

No.

I won't. And thank you.

But the Director of Food position won't be happening.

No, no, obviously.

OK.

SAM: 'Sometimes, the desire for something more

'gets the better of us.

'Sometimes, we search for happiness in the wrong places.'

He is just brilliant.

So funny and gorgeous.

He's also someone else's husband.

Ah.

Mm.

Fancy a drink? You know what? That's exactly what I fancy.

Your office, now.

'But maybe the answer to life, the universe and everything

'is a little closer to home.'

Happy anniversary. Yeah, you, too.

God, there are some freaks out there.

Charlotte Newhouse?

Yeah.

I don't know what I was doing.

I don't feel very proud of myself, sorry.

Hey, God, I'm fine.

Fine.

You can do what you want.

I was only doing it to make you jealous.

Yeah, right.

No, you look good together.

She wasn't you.

And what about Jim?

Jim was a player.

You were right.

He didn't deserve you.

You deserve everything.

Any man who gets you is the luckiest man alive.

Sam.

Seeing you with Jim last night made me realise.

I'm not ready to give you up.

I'll fight for you if I have to.

God, don't look at me like that.

Why not?

You know why not.

I just...

SAM: 'Because sometimes, everything you really need,

'desire, want,

'is right in front of you.

'Just open your eyes and look.'

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