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1
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,960
We've got 48 hours to make this
place fit for a princess. Literally.
2
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,960
So, work your magic.
3
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,960
SAM: Even when we're preparing
for a royal wedding,
4
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,000
we're always hiding something.
5
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,960
Thanks.
6
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,960
SAM: And no matter what we see...
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
7
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,960
Erm, perhaps the rear exit,
Minister.
8
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,960
..rest assured,
we'll keep it firmly under our hats.
9
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,320
My Italian readers
will love these wedding pictures.
10
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,960
A European princess
marrying her English love.
11
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,960
Perfect.
Great.
12
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,960
Oh, thanks.
13
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,480
Oh, excuse me!
14
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:50,960
I'm so sorry.
15
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:51,960
Forgive me.
16
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,960
Gennaro Fazio.
17
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,960
Editor, Certo! magazine.
Oh.
18
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,960
Juliet Miller.
19
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,800
General Manager.
20
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:00,960
Forgive me.
21
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,960
What's Certo! again?
An Italian celeb rag.
22
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,960
This is how you make a deal.
23
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,960
Our royal couple won't pay us
a penny for their wedding,
24
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,960
but in return
we get the photo rights.
25
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,960
Which Certo! magazine
will pay 250 grand for.
26
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,960
So, we're sorted.
27
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:28,960
Why are you looking like that?
28
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,960
I've just come off the phone
from Lichtenstein.
29
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,640
The bride's run off
with a Canadian equerry.
30
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,960
The wedding's cancelled.
31
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,960
SAM: That's the thing with
brushing things under the carpet.
32
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,320
Sometimes, the carpet gets moved.
33
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,960
Shit...
34
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,960
What if we went ahead?
With the wedding, I mean.
35
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,160
Er, I don't think
that would be too cost-effective,
36
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,000
you know, without a bride,
a groom, guests.
37
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,960
What if we had a bride,
a groom and guests?
38
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,960
What do you mean, a bride and groom?
39
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,960
Well, you know, can we get someone
to pretend to be the princess,
40
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,960
you know, and the fiance?
SHE SCOFFS
41
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,160
You mean, fake the wedding?
Mm-hm.
42
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,640
Erm, Sam,
I'm waiting for the punch line.
43
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:09,960
No punch line.
44
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:14,480
Just our tax bill came in and it's
a little larger than I expected.
45
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,000
Well, then, go to the bank
like a normal person.
46
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,960
I tried. I'm mortgaged up to the
eyeballs. And my credit rating's...
47
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,960
Well, you know what happened
to my investments.
48
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,960
And I was really counting
on this photo money.
49
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,960
Sam, it's fraud.
50
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,480
It's PR.
51
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,960
And Fazio had never
even heard of the royal couple.
52
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,960
He just wanted a spread.
53
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,960
And, you know, maybe he wouldn't
care even if it was fake.
54
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,960
Well, what happens
when the real princess finds out?
55
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,960
Well, we just...
We'll just change her name.
56
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,000
She's not Princess Sylvie,
57
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,960
she's Princess Marianne,
a distant relative.
58
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,960
It's a hell of a risk.
It's a calculated risk.
59
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,960
No, no, find some other way
of making the money.
60
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,960
Look, Jules, didn't we agree
to work together not so long ago?
61
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,960
I can't do this without you.
62
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,960
First things first. Mandy Warren is
staying here for the next two days.
63
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,960
Shark Girl?
Yes, Shark Girl to the papers.
64
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,960
Only 16, but an Olympic hopeful.
65
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,160
And she's here filming an ad
for swimwear.
66
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,960
Now, I want her kept super happy.
67
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,960
So, everyone,
in full boot-licking mode.
68
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,960
Spend a lot of money, does she?
69
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,960
We are getting
a healthy slice of the ad fees,
70
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,960
so, anything she wants, she gets.
71
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,960
So, keep an eye on her, OK?
Will do.
72
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,320
Now, James,
you're aware of the new addition?
73
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,800
What's that?
It's a government employment scheme
74
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,960
and James has a restaurant trainee
for a couple of days.
75
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,960
Yes. And no doubt with an ASBO
for every pimple.
76
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,960
Well, just do your best.
77
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:40,960
Now, as you're all aware, tomorrow's
royal wedding has been cancelled.
78
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,960
I was looking forward
to meeting the princess.
79
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,960
I had my hair cut and everything.
You may still get the chance-ish.
80
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,160
Hm?
Erm...
81
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,960
We're going ahead with it anyway.
82
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,960
The wedding.
What do you mean?
83
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,960
Due to a small accounting error,
we can't afford to lose the revenue.
84
00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,960
A wedding with no bride or groom?
Oh, there'll be a bride and groom.
85
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,960
They just won't be all that real.
86
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,960
We're going to fake it.
87
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,320
It's my fault.
I kind of dropped us in it.
88
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,960
It's a big drop.
89
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,960
But the truth is,
we need the money for a tax bill.
90
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,960
One that gets very big and very
scary unless we pay it very quickly.
91
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,960
We made a deal with
an Italian magazine for the photos.
92
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,960
All we do
is dress up a bride and groom
93
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,960
for some wedding snaps that
will only ever be seen in Italy,
94
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,960
and, er, Bob's your uncle.
It won't work.
95
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,800
We'll make it work.
96
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,960
Celebrities fake relationships
all the time
97
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,640
when they're flogging something.
Exactly.
98
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,960
Surely we're not agreeing to this,
Juliet?
99
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,960
The alternative is
we bring in some investors,
100
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,960
sell off part of the hotel.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
101
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,960
New management when we just start
working like an oily machine?
102
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,960
No.
I'm sure all your jobs will be safe.
103
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,960
Look, I think the idea
is a bit bonkers,
104
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,960
but I don't want to lose my job.
105
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,160
So, you're the boss. If you say
do it, I'm right behind you.
106
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,960
Well, in my humble opinion,
this is madness.
107
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,960
What choice do we have?
Thank you.
108
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,960
OK, the wedding is set for tomorrow.
So, we've got plenty of time.
109
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,960
Gino, find some cheap fizz.
110
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,960
Emily,
you can help with the costumes.
111
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,960
And, James,
we need a budget banquet.
112
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,160
Oh...
113
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,000
We need expensive-looking on the
outside, but cheap on the inside.
114
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,640
OK, well, that's it, everybody.
OK?
115
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,960
James, what do you really think
of this wedding fiasco?
116
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,960
Oh, well,
at least it might distract me
117
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:23,960
from my day of hell with the
machete-wielding Kenneth Bingham.
118
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,960
Oh, morning, squire.
119
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,960
You're my trainee?
120
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,960
Lovely little bistro
you've got here, guv.
121
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,960
I bet there's no spam on the menu.
122
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,960
HE STIFLES A LAUGH
123
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:35,960
Ahem!
124
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,960
Hey, have you seen my parents?
125
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,960
I'm afraid not, madam.
Is that that fish kid?
126
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,160
I think the correct form of address
is Shark Girl.
127
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:05,800
Yeah, whatever. She swims faster
than I can walk on land.
128
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,960
I've eaten so many chocolates today.
Do you know where the gym is?
129
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,960
Just through here on the left.
Thank you.
130
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,960
OK.
131
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,960
Your shape's good,
but you're snatching those breaths.
132
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,960
Try to keep it smooth, OK?
Five minutes, Mand.
133
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,960
Then we need to tighten those
dropped elbows for the next take.
134
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,960
Everything satisfactory, madam?
Alexis Warren, Mandy's mother.
135
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960
We need some grass juice.
Wheat and rye, no pampas.
136
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,960
And Mandy needs more towels.
Of course.
137
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,960
Miss Warren, nice to meet you.
138
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,960
I wanted to say, if there's anything
you need, please let me know.
139
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,960
Maybe a magazine and some DVDs.
Sure. If you tell me which...
140
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,960
That's enough, darling.
You need to stay focused.
141
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,960
Never mind.
OK.
142
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,960
I didn't think we'd be planning
a wedding together again.
143
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,960
We didn't plan anything.
I planned it.
144
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,960
You were in Monaco
buying racehorses.
145
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,960
Which later turned out to be dead.
Still, it was a good party.
146
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,160
Er, we need to sort out a bride
and groom so I can hire the outfits.
147
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,960
Emily knows some actors,
doesn't she?
148
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960
No.
We can't risk this getting out.
149
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,960
We need to use people we know.
Us.
150
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,960
No, not "us" us.
151
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:10,960
Us, the team.
152
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,480
Trust me,
I'm sure I can convince them.
153
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,960
You know, I'm surprised
you're backing me on this.
154
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,000
Not as surprised as I am.
155
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,000
Oh, my God! Kenneth, Kenneth...
Kenneth, let me just...
156
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,960
Oh...!
157
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,960
What next, mon capitaine?
158
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,960
Oh, go and lay tables
in the restaurant.
159
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,320
Do it sitting down if you must.
160
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,960
Out.
161
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,960
Well, that glue sniffing
has taken its toll on your trainee.
162
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,960
How old did you say he was, 16, 17?
Yes, very funny.
163
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,640
Is that my grass?
Yes.
164
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,320
Your youngster a cow, is she?
No, but her mother is.
165
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,800
Shark Girl herself
is largely monosyllabic.
166
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:01,960
Ah, teenagers.
167
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,960
LOUD CRASH
KENNETH: Blimey!
168
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:04,960
Ah, pensioners.
169
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,960
A European princess and the son of
the 24th wealthiest man in Britain
170
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,160
are getting married
in the coolest hotel in London.
171
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,960
Hm...
172
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,000
A pretend princess
and her pretend lover
173
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,960
and a pretend wedding, you mean.
174
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,000
Yeah, all right,
don't spoil my wedding buzz.
175
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,960
You two, such chemistry.
176
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:24,960
What a team.
177
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,960
Ben, a model of old-world elegance.
178
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,960
Emily, so regal, so graceful.
179
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,960
Like a princess.
180
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,960
You two would make
a great royal couple.
181
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,000
HE CHUCKLES
182
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,960
Congratulations,
Princess Marianne of Liechtenstein
183
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,960
and Mr Henry DeWitt.
No! Yes!
184
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,960
Ben, it has to be you.
I can't risk this getting out.
185
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,960
Look, Ben, just imagine it.
It's your own special day.
186
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,800
Your bride,
a vision in flowing white silk.
187
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,960
A string quartet
playing music just for you.
188
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,960
And white roses
as far as the eye can see.
189
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,000
And unicorns.
And uni...
190
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,960
Look, I know you can do it.
It's going to be easy.
191
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,960
We're just going to dress you up,
take a few photos,
192
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,960
it'll be over in less than an hour.
Uh-uh.
193
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,960
SHE GASPS
Ben, I'm counting on you.
194
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,960
You're the only person I considered.
195
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,960
Well...
196
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:11,960
If I'm your first choice.
197
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:12,960
Fantastic.
198
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,960
You two are going to be great.
199
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,800
I'm getting married!
200
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:19,960
Fancy a part in the wedding?
201
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,960
Me?
I need a best man.
202
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,960
I've never been asked
to do that before.
203
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,960
Well, thank the vicar, tell
a dirty joke and shag a bridesmaid.
204
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:29,960
Easy.
205
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,000
Hm...
206
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:38,960
Gino...
Yeah?
207
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,160
I need a favour.
What are you doing?
208
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,960
Like you said,
cheap sparkling wine.
209
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,640
I bought it from a man
with half a face in the car park.
210
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,960
It's cheaper than water.
Is it drinkable?
211
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,960
Well, I usually use it for stains,
but I think it's OK.
212
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,960
What's your favour?
Oh, yeah.
213
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,960
I need a father of the bride.
214
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,960
Oh, I'm very flattered
that you have come to me.
215
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,960
But the father of the bride,
216
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,960
I can't think of anyone suitable.
217
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,960
What, me?
218
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,960
Oh...
219
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,960
Well, I'm very moved. I'm not
old enough, but I will do my best.
220
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,960
You can count on me.
I know I can.
221
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,960
Sam, Emily's just taken a call
from Fazio.
222
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,640
He's on his way with a photographer.
Now? Today?
223
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,000
Look, I'll sort out
the Olympia Suite.
224
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,800
And then we need to prep
our princess and her beau
225
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,960
and tell everyone with a role to
play to keep out of sight of Fazio.
226
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,960
OK, you get Ben. Meet me
in Juliet's office in five minutes.
227
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,800
Miss! Miss!
What is my role?
228
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,960
Gorgeous bridesmaid?
229
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,480
Sexy ring bearer?
230
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,960
Well, actually,
everyone's really busy,
231
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,960
so I need you to man the front desk.
232
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,480
And find 100 wedding guests,
people we can trust not to blab.
233
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,960
OK? Right.
234
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,800
Your glass of green gloop, miss.
Thank you.
235
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:49,960
Oh!
236
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,800
Mandy, sit down. Raise your foot.
You clumsy idiot!
237
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:55,960
I'm so sorry.
238
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,960
It's fine.
It's not deep, thank God.
239
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,960
I'll phone the insurance people.
Dad, you don't have to do that.
240
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,000
Well, get a first-aid kit!
Yes. Yes.
241
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,960
GERMAN ACCENT: "I am Princess
Marianne of Liechtenstein.
242
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,960
"And back home, I have five pet pigs
who share my bed."
243
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,800
Pugs.
Pugs.
244
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:21,960
You have five pet pugs.
Yeah.
245
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,960
And can we have
a little more princess
246
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,960
and a little less Nosferatu.
247
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,960
I need a wig.
I feel so much better in a wig.
248
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,960
OK, we'll find you a wig.
249
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,640
I'm Scottish?
Half Scottish.
250
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,960
TERRIBLE SCOTTISH ACCENT: So,
do I have to have an accent, too?
251
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,960
No.
No.
252
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,960
TELEPHONE RINGS
253
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,960
Just relax.
You two are going to be great.
254
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,960
OK.
255
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,640
That was Tanya.
Fazio's here.
256
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,960
First-aid kit.
Oh, we don't need that now.
257
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,960
The insurance bloke's
on the way with a nurse.
258
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,960
We can't risk an infection.
The ad's on hold.
259
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,960
Dad, this is really silly.
Maybe, Mand.
260
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,960
But we can't afford
to take any chances.
261
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,960
I know these ads are boring for you,
262
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,960
but they make everything else
possible.
263
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,960
This man is going to take you
to the gym
264
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,960
and you can do some upper-body work,
but no pressure on your foot, OK?
265
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,960
Fine.
266
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,160
Do you enjoy this kind of thing?
The ad, I mean.
267
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,960
It pays a year's bills.
268
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,960
Training, travel, hotels,
Mum and Dad's expenses.
269
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,960
Yeah,
they're certainly very dedicated.
270
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,960
They gave up their jobs to support
me, helped me get my scholarship.
271
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,960
And did they used to swim?
Not exactly.
272
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,960
Mum can't even swim.
273
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,960
My grandmother used to take me
to the lido every Saturday
274
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,960
when I was a kid.
Oh, well, she must be very proud.
275
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,960
I don't know.
276
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,960
Her and Mum...
277
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:39,960
..had a row.
278
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,960
It's just through here.
279
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,960
I'm sure you know what's what.
Erm...
280
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,800
I'll get you some towels.
281
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,960
OK, you're not actually going to be
doing all of that stuff, are you?
282
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,960
You're making me look bad.
Sorry.
283
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,960
SHE SCOFFS
I was joking.
284
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,960
I should have brought
my roller skates from home.
285
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,960
Would have made this a lot easier.
286
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,960
Wait...
How do I make this stop?
287
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,960
Just turn it down.
Where?!
288
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,960
The minus button on the right.
Where?
289
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,960
Pull the red key out.
290
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,960
Whoa!
Oh, my God.
291
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,640
SHE LAUGHS
Are you all right?
292
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:25,960
I'm Jo.
Mandy.
293
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,960
Nice to meet you.
Are you all right, madam?
294
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,960
What's going on?
295
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:32,960
Who's this?
296
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,960
Mum, this is Jo.
Hello.
297
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,960
Remove her.
Mandy needs to be focused.
298
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,960
Mum...
Look, I don't want any drama.
299
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,960
And trust me,
my ego needs some refined sugar.
300
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,960
Nice mum, Mandy.
301
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,960
Horrible girl.
302
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,960
Mandy, 30 minutes on the weights,
303
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,960
and then up to the room
for an hour's sleep, all right?
304
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,960
I'm expecting a delivery
this afternoon.
305
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,960
I'll come and get it.
Very good, madam.
306
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,960
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
307
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,960
Princess Marianne of Liechtenstein
and Henry DeWitt.
308
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,800
Don't they make a lovely couple?
309
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,960
I thought it was Princess Sylvie
and Philip de Beauvoir.
310
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,960
Oh, our PR girl made a mistake
with the paperwork.
311
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,800
I'll rectify it for you.
Wonderful, Juliet.
312
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,960
I'm not sure I can handle this.
313
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,480
Keep it together, Henry.
314
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,960
Think of our unborn children.
315
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,960
OK, I think we need the money shot.
316
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,800
Huh?
Hm?
317
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,960
A kiss.
Oh...
318
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,960
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
319
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,960
Hm...
320
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:51,960
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
321
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,800
Perfect. Bravo.
322
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,960
Well done. Well done.
323
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,960
Thank you so much.
324
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,960
You make a stunning couple.
Thank you, Marianne and Henry.
325
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,960
Thank you very much.
But one last thing.
326
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,960
Can I ask why you chose to marry
here at the Hotel Babylon?
327
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,960
Well...
328
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,960
..it's where we first met.
329
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,960
That's a beautiful story.
When was this?
330
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,160
Three years ago.
Last year.
331
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,480
We first met here in the hotel
three years ago.
332
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,160
And then we met last year at a party
333
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,960
and that is when
we really fell in love.
334
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,480
It is a very special place for us.
335
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,960
Herzlichen Gluckwunsch
zur ihrer Hochzeit.
336
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,960
Er...
337
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,960
Danke schon.
Wie freuen uns darauf.
338
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,960
Entschuldigung, bitte.
Wie haben am Morgen viel zu tun.
339
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,800
Naturlich. Bis Morgen.
340
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:52,960
SHE GASPS
341
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,000
Are you OK?
Yeah.
342
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,960
Whoa...
343
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,960
That kiss...
344
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:00,960
..wasn't sick-making.
345
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:03,960
Oh.
346
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,960
Thank you.
347
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,960
One last thing.
Count Maximo of Umbria
348
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,960
will be arriving here tonight
for the wedding.
349
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,960
Excuse me?
Yeah, he's a friend of mine
350
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,960
and he knows the Princely House
of Liechtenstein from long ago.
351
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,960
I took the liberty of inviting him.
352
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,960
Please, you will show him
the greatest courtesy.
353
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,000
Of course, Gennaro.
354
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,960
Until tomorrow.
355
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,160
She say, "Papa, you are
the greatest man alive..."
356
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,960
Gino...
357
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,960
What do you know about
being a best man?
358
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,960
Ah!
359
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,160
Well, you need a very good
funny story.
360
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,960
Very naughty.
361
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,320
Pure filth.
Dirty jokes aren't exactly my forte.
362
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,960
OK, could you, er...?
What?
363
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,960
Come on, James, spit out.
364
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,960
Could you tell me some?
365
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:01,960
Yes.
366
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,960
HE SIGHS
367
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,960
GINO CLEARS HIS THROAT
368
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,960
There is a priest, a whore
and a donkey in bed.
369
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:11,960
Oh, God...
370
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,960
The donkey, he looked down,
and he say...
371
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,960
Hey, isn't that
the Times restaurant critic?
372
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,000
I don't get it.
373
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,960
Oh, my God, Tristram!
374
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,960
There you go, sir.
Thanks.
375
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,960
In those days, there weren't any
fancy tranquilizing guns
376
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,320
or anything like that.
377
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:39,800
If you wanted a beast knocked out,
there was only one way...
378
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,960
Tristram!
379
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,800
How wonderful to see you.
Ah!
380
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,480
If I could just interject
for one moment.
381
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,960
Of course.
382
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,960
Kenneth, would you come with me,
please?
383
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,960
Thank you. Excuse us.
Yes.
384
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,960
Why are you talking
to the customers?
385
00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:00,800
When I was a waiter in Tangiers
in '55, all the...
386
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,960
We're not in Tangiers in '55.
387
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,960
The modern dining experience
is an art form.
388
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,960
Polite. Efficient.
389
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,960
And, above all, unobtrusive.
390
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,960
Oh, just go into the kitchen
out of sight.
391
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,960
Do whatever Chef tells you.
392
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:18,960
Kenneth...
393
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,320
That way.
Oh, yeah.
394
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,960
I need one limo for ten minutes.
395
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,000
It's a wedding, sort of.
396
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,960
Yeah, he just has to pick them up
round the corner and drop them off.
397
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,960
Thanks, mate.
398
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,960
Waiter, more oysters.
Certainly, Mrs Warren.
399
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,960
Oi, nosy.
400
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,960
So, which room
is Mandy the shark in?
401
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,960
She's the only person
in this entire hotel
402
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,960
that is not a thousand years old.
At a bit of a loose end, are you?
403
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,960
It's so boring
having jetsetters for parents.
404
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,960
Could you do me a favour?
405
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,960
Take these up to the Alexandra Suite
on the third floor.
406
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,320
Do I look like you're caring droid?
No.
407
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,960
But if you do, you might meet
someone interesting up there.
408
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:12,960
Thanks, mate.
409
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,960
Hey.
Hi.
410
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,960
You are one elusive swimming
superstar, let me tell you.
411
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,960
Oh, the hotel did give me this junk
to bring up.
412
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,960
Why don't you turn the telly on
and I'll do some ice cream?
413
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,960
What's it like being famous?
414
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,960
I don't know, really.
I just kind of swim.
415
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,960
I kind of expected your room
to be filled
416
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,960
with little white fluffy puppies
and diamonds.
417
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,640
I don't know.
Bentleys.
418
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,640
Well, come on,
you do this TV stuff.
419
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,000
How much do you get paid for it?
It depends.
420
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,960
60,000, I think.
That's it?
421
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,960
Well, it's enough to pay for hotels
and travel and stuff.
422
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,640
Is it?
423
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,960
Isn't it?
424
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,960
It's costing my dad,
like, a few grand to stay here
425
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,960
for just this week.
426
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,960
Look, I don't know,
my parents sort it all out.
427
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,960
Why do you even care?
428
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,800
Now, these are an ad fee right here.
They're my mum's.
429
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,960
I have totally got to become a
swimming champion. It's easy, right?
430
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,960
Once you've mastered the treadmill.
Oh, shut up!
431
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:26,960
SHE SPEAKS RAPIDLY IN ITALIAN
432
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,000
Tanya, you're on count watch.
433
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,480
We cannot have this man
staying at the hotel.
434
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,960
He's an Italian count and he knows
the Liechtenstein royal family.
435
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,960
If you see him,
tell me or Sam immediately.
436
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,480
OK.
437
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:39,960
Tony...
Mm, one second.
438
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,960
Er, can you give me a minute?
439
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,960
James, where's the Warrens?
They left a few moments ago.
440
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:48,960
Why?
Oh...
441
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,960
No, Mandy, darling,
we're not doing that.
442
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:51,960
Mum...!
443
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,960
I haven't got time
for this kind of thing.
444
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,960
Mum, I don't care!
Mandy, listen to your mother.
445
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,960
Mum, we weren't doing anything.
Er, Mrs Warren.
446
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,960
Sorry, actually, it was my fault.
I did ask Jo to bring your bags up.
447
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,960
But I told you that
I would come and fetch them.
448
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,960
Yes, but I thought that
they'd like a chat.
449
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,960
You know how teenage girls are.
I have a teenage daughter myself.
450
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,960
What Mandy needs
is for people to stop interfering
451
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,960
so that she can concentrate
on her performance.
452
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,640
Now, both of you, out.
453
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,960
Mum, she is my friend.
454
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,800
Mandy, you've known her
for about five minutes.
455
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,960
Well, that's all the time I have
because I'm always working.
456
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,960
We've talked this through
a thousand times.
457
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,960
We all have to make sacrifices.
458
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,960
And I thought my mum was a bad-arse.
459
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,960
Yeah, she is a little demanding,
isn't she?
460
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,960
You know Mandy's
getting paid peanuts for this ad?
461
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,960
Well, the shark equivalent
of peanuts. What would that be?
462
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,960
Sardines.
Oh, ha-ha, very funny.
463
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,640
Oh, my God...
464
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:46,960
What if they're ripping her off?
465
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,960
I mean,
did you see those shoes in there?
466
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,800
Those are rich people's shoes.
467
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,960
And trust me, I would know.
I'm rich.
468
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,320
Let's not jump to any conclusions,
hey, Jo?
469
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,960
Look, put it this way,
470
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,960
never have I been so glad
to have the parents that I have.
471
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,960
ITALIAN ACCENT: Good evening.
I'm here for the wedding.
472
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:10,960
Wedding?
473
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,000
You must be mistaken, sir.
There's no wedding here.
474
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,960
But this is the hotel, er,
what's it's name, isn't it?
475
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:19,960
That's not us.
476
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,960
Right, well, perhaps I can speak
with your manager.
477
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,960
A good idea.
478
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,960
KENNETH: Get some water!
479
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,960
What has he done now?!
480
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:32,960
Hold that.
481
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:33,960
Kenneth!
482
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,960
FIRE ALARM WAILS
483
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,160
Can't you do anything right,
you silly old fool?
484
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,960
It...
It's a sort of a mistake, really.
485
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,160
A mistake?!
486
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,480
You are a bloody health hazard!
487
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,960
You shouldn't be at work.
488
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,000
You...
489
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,480
You should be in a home!
I understand my...
490
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,960
Ah! Ah!
I don't want to hear another word.
491
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,960
If I could fire you...
492
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,800
..I would.
493
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,960
Erm, sir, Signore Fazio
sends his apologies.
494
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,800
He was mistaken. The wedding's
on this date next month.
495
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,960
Oh?
496
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,960
Why did you not say that to me?
I did.
497
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,960
Oh, well done. Good lad.
498
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,960
I would offer you
a room as an apology,
499
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,960
but, unfortunately,
we're fully booked.
500
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,960
So, I'll have my concierge phone you
a taxi to take you to another one.
501
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,960
Well, please excuse us.
502
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,960
Well, it looks like
everything's under control.
503
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:36,960
Ah, Fazio!
504
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,160
Juliet.
505
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,960
Gennaro.
It seems we can't keep you away.
506
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,320
Ah, when you find a hotel you like,
507
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,960
it seems crazy
to stay anywhere else.
508
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,160
And besides,
there's something about this place.
509
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,000
Well, it's a pleasure
to have you back.
510
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,960
I was hoping to book a room,
if the offer still stands.
511
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,160
Of course. Erm, I'll show Gennaro
to the Pyramid Suite.
512
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,480
Keep him up there.
513
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,960
Perhaps we could have, erm,
dinner in your room.
514
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,640
Clear.
515
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,960
I see things are progressing
in the way I pretty much predicted.
516
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,960
Is there time for a word?
Yes.
517
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:18,960
James?
518
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:19,960
Oh!
519
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,960
Sorry. Fazio's back.
520
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,960
Oh, God! Where?
No, it's all right.
521
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:25,960
Juliet's taking care of it.
522
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,960
What did you want?
523
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,000
Oh, I bumped into Helga
in the canteen
524
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,960
and she was sobbing her eyes out.
525
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,960
She'd accidentally set fire to a pan
and didn't own up to it.
526
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,960
I thought I'd come and tell you
so you could smooth things over.
527
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,960
Oh, no...
James!
528
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,960
Tristram!
529
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:46,960
Back so soon?
530
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,000
Yes, I just dropped in
to book a table.
531
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,320
Eight o'clock all right?
Oh, for you, of course.
532
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,960
And I want to talk to you
about your new waiter.
533
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,960
Tristram, I know.
I've moved him into the kitchens.
534
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,960
Oh...
535
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,960
I was rather hoping my wife
would be able to meet him.
536
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,640
I'll make sure Kenneth is here.
537
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,960
So, what can I do for you, Tony?
538
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,960
I'd like to know how much we're
getting for the Mandy Warren ad.
539
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,960
I realise it's confidential, but...
Ten and a half grand.
540
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,960
I should have held out
for five percent,
541
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,960
but three and a half's not bad.
Huh.
542
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,960
So, that makes her fee...
300 grand.
543
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,000
What do you want to know for?
Just something I needed to sort out.
544
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,320
Er, thank you.
No worries.
545
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,640
It's all right, Kenneth,
you have a seat.
546
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,960
Kenneth, I, erm...
547
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,960
I owe you an apology.
548
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,480
I know now the fire
wasn't your fault.
549
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:53,960
Well, the poor girl was rushed off
her feet and made a mistake.
550
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,960
That's all.
But you didn't say anything.
551
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,160
You just took it when I...
552
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,960
When I shouted at you.
553
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,960
The truth is,
I saw a man in his...
554
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,960
..twilight years and I thought...
555
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,960
I'm 74.
556
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,960
And I don't think
you thought at all.
557
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,960
What you don't get, Mr Schofield,
558
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,960
is that you need to pay respect
to everyone, whatever their age.
559
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,960
Because that's
what your restaurant is.
560
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,960
It's not the decor or the menu.
561
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,960
It's not even the food.
It's the people.
562
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,960
And, er...
563
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,960
..I like to refer to my years
as golden.
564
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,960
Not twilight.
565
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,640
Quite right.
566
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,960
Look, Ken...
567
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,960
..would you take table orders
this evening?
568
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,960
I would very much appreciate it
if you'd say yes.
569
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,800
Do you know,
people have been asking for you?
570
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,960
Really?
Oh, yes.
571
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,960
And, Ken...
Yes?
572
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:05,960
Just, erm...
573
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,480
Just be yourself.
574
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,960
Well, I always am.
575
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,960
And once we did a photo shoot
with George Clooney.
576
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,960
And the make-up girl, she was
so overcome, she just fainted.
577
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,960
THE BOTH LAUGH
578
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,480
Well, I don't entirely blame her.
579
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:39,960
But Brad...
580
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,960
Now, there's a man with charm.
581
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,000
Is there anyone you don't know?
582
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:50,960
I'm sorry, I don't mean to boast,
but some of the things I've seen...
583
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,960
Come on, Gennaro,
give me the gossip.
584
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,960
OK.
585
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:08,960
Let me show you something.
586
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,960
Is that who I think it is?
In rehab.
587
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:25,960
Last week.
588
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,960
She's in a hospital bed.
589
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,960
My photographer pretended
to be a patient to sneak in.
590
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:33,960
God...
591
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,320
I had no idea it was this bad.
592
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,960
Are you going to print these?
Why not?
593
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,960
Do you think some junkie pop star
deserves sympathy?
594
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,960
She's 19.
595
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,480
Don't worry, Juliet,
I'm not going to print them.
596
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,960
Sometimes the very best pictures
are more valuable that way.
597
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,960
That's my favourite thing
about this job.
598
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,800
When you have someone's future
like this in your hand...
599
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:00,960
HE CHUCKLES
600
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:07,960
SAM: Hiding something is easy.
601
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,960
It can be done in the blink of
an eye without a moment's thought.
602
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,960
But keeping something hidden
is the hard part.
603
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,960
Whatever lengths you go to...
604
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:22,960
..whatever you try...
605
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,960
..somebody somewhere
will know what's really going on.
606
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,960
I can't believe it,
it's really happening.
607
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,960
I mean,
I'm actually getting married.
608
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:57,960
Emily...
609
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,000
..you do remember
this is a fake wedding, don't you?
610
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,640
Do I?
611
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:04,960
Yeah.
612
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,960
Of course.
613
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,960
The fake wedding of my dreams.
614
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,960
What's your favourite flavour
of ice cream?
615
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:20,960
Rum and raisin.
Rum and...?
616
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:21,960
Really?
617
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,960
OK, whatever.
618
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,960
You're a rum-and-raisin man.
619
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,960
But say you had a tiny taste of a
flavour you thought you didn't like.
620
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,960
Pistachio, yuck.
Right.
621
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,000
But you tried it.
But you liked the tiny taste.
622
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,320
Do you think that's possible?
No.
623
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:41,960
I hate pistachio.
624
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,960
Hypothetically.
625
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,960
Well, hypothetically, yeah, sure.
626
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,960
But do you know what I'd do?
I'd have the whole tub.
627
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:49,960
Just to make sure.
628
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,960
KNOCK ON DOOR
Who is it?
629
00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,960
It's Ben.
Oh, come in.
630
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:02,960
Oh!
631
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,960
Oh, I'm sorry!
632
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,960
I'm sorry.
Don't be silly.
633
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,960
OK.
634
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,960
I...
Well, I just want to say...
635
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,160
Oh!
636
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,960
Good luck.
Oh...
637
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:26,960
Good luck to you, too.
638
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,960
OK, hubby.
639
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:42,960
Erm...
640
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:43,960
..Ben.
641
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:49,960
You know your hands are on my...?
Yes.
642
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:50,960
Why?
643
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,160
I'm sorry.
644
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:57,960
Er...
645
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,640
Well, break a leg and all that.
646
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,160
See you at the altar.
647
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,480
DOOR CLOSES
648
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:10,960
BELL DINGS
649
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,800
So, did you find out if fish kid's
parents are nicking her money?
650
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,960
Er, strictly speaking,
this is my side of the desk.
651
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,960
Oh, come on.
652
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,960
So, did you find out or not?
653
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,960
I don't really think
it's any of our business, is it?
654
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,960
They're ripping her off,
aren't they?
655
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,480
Oh, my God, I knew it.
656
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,960
She's like a modern-day
Macaulay Culkin.
657
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:39,960
We should do something.
658
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,160
Now, Jo, we don't really have
all the facts, so I...
659
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:44,960
Wait there.
660
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,960
Could you double-check
the limo times for me?
661
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,960
I don't want anything
to go wrong today.
662
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,800
But it's not easy,
especially after the meal I had.
663
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,960
THE DINERS LAUGH
664
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,960
Ken...
Oh, excuse me.
665
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,800
Duty calls.
666
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,640
James, you look very swish.
Oh.
667
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:06,960
Thank you.
668
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,800
I'm off to a wedding.
669
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,960
Do you know, Ken, you really have
become quite the draw here.
670
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,960
I was wondering,
how would you like a permanent post?
671
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,960
Once your trial's over, say...
672
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,960
..two shifts a week.
673
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,960
Well, it's touching, but I can't.
What?
674
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,640
See, I'm on a month's placement
next week.
675
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,160
A dry-ski slope.
676
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,960
TELEPHONE RINGS
677
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,640
Yeah, concierge.
678
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:33,960
Oh, Mrs Warren.
679
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,960
Yeah. OK.
680
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,960
I'm on my way up.
681
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:41,800
Right!
682
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,960
So, what exactly
have you been telling this girl?
683
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:46,480
Er...
684
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,960
Mr and Mrs Warren, I haven't
said anything to Jo at all.
685
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,960
I did express a concern.
But I can only think there's been
686
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,960
some sort of a breakdown
in communication.
687
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,960
Oh, stop trying
to wheedle your way out of it.
688
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,960
Accept some responsibility.
You're pathetic!
689
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,960
I can only apologise if something
I've said has been misconstrued.
690
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,800
Are you trying to compensate
691
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:03,960
for being so low down
in the food chain
692
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,960
by interfering
in your guests' business?
693
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:07,960
Fine.
694
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,320
I've become aware that Mandy is,
in fact, being paid
695
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,960
five times more for this advert
than she's being led to believe.
696
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,960
What?
Will there be anything else?
697
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,960
Is that true?
Listen, love...
698
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:20,480
Tell me it's not true.
How dare you interfere like this?
699
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,960
I can't believe
you've been lying to me.
700
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:24,960
I earn that money.
701
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,960
It isn't like that.
Simon...
702
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,960
Darling,
of course you earn that money.
703
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,480
But you're only 16.
704
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,960
You've got an awful lot
on your plate.
705
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,960
That's why we take care
of the money until you're older.
706
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,160
No, I've had enough.
707
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,960
I'm not doing this any more.
708
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,960
Any of it!
Mandy...
709
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,640
Let her cool off.
The ad people are waiting.
710
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,160
We'd better go downstairs
in case they walk out.
711
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,960
You'd better pray that
you haven't messed this up for us.
712
00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:58,960
DOOR CLOSES
713
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:01,960
Mandy...
714
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,800
Don't do anything silly.
715
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,000
Just leave me alone.
716
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,960
Maybe I should stay.
She needs friends.
717
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,960
Well, actually,
I've got a better idea.
718
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,960
If I was to get you a limo
and a driver,
719
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,960
do you think
you could do me a favour?
720
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:34,000
DOOR CLOSES
721
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,960
That doesn't send
quite the right message.
722
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,960
GASPS OF DELIGHT
723
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,960
JULIET:
OK, everybody, five minutes.
724
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,960
She looks beautiful.
725
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,480
Mwah! Great work.
726
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,960
Everybody,
I just wanted to say something.
727
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,000
I wanted to thank you all
for standing by me on this one.
728
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,960
Oh, it's OK.
And good luck.
729
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,960
Let's get wed.
730
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,320
Sorry, I had a lot of stuff
to take care of. Are we all ready?
731
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,160
Yes, positions.
OK.
732
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,960
Ready, Princess Marianne?
Yes.
733
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,480
I think this is the happiest day
of my life.
734
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,960
Ah, Signorina Miller,
735
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,960
it seems you got
the wrong end of the stick.
736
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,960
My friend Fazio confirmed that
the wedding is today.
737
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:34,960
Er, yes.
738
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,960
Juliet, it's so unlike you
to be so imprecise.
739
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,960
Is this the young principessa?
740
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,960
Well, erm...
741
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:51,960
HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
742
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,960
Oh...
743
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,960
My dear girl.
744
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,960
You haven't changed a bit.
745
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:16,960
Still the same five-year-old girl I
remember paddling in my trout pond.
746
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,000
Ah, ja!
747
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,960
And, you...
748
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,960
I don't remember you.
749
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,320
Er, this is, erm...
Princess Marianne's stepfather.
750
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,960
Sir Gino Primo-Roller.
751
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:35,320
Oh, it is a great privilege
and honour, signore.
752
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:39,960
Ah, you must be the chap
who can't stand the shellfish.
753
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,960
THEY LAUGH
Ah, ja!
754
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,960
Benissimo!
It's wonderful to see you all.
755
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,160
And have a wonderful time,
everybody, and give them hell.
756
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,960
Take your seat.
Grazie. Thank you. Grazie.
757
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,160
Your Highness, you look beautiful.
Best of luck.
758
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:01,960
Here we go.
759
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,000
TRUMPET FANFARE
760
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,320
HE EXHALES
761
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,960
What are you doing,
getting married or having a baby?
762
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,960
I really need to ask for a pay rise.
763
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,960
Please, be seated, one and all.
764
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:32,960
Beloved...
765
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:34,960
..we have come together here today
to celebrate the marriage
766
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,160
of this man and this woman.
767
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,960
It is appointed
for the wellbeing of human society,
768
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,960
which can be stable and happy
only where the marriage bond
769
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,160
is honoured and upheld.
770
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,640
Marianne and Henry...
771
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,960
..you seek to be joined
in marriage.
772
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,160
STATIC FROM WALKIE-TALKIE.
I am required to ask you...
773
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,960
..or any other person here
if you know of any reason
774
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,960
why you may not lawfully
be married to one another.
775
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,960
And if so, to declare it now.
Wait...
776
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,800
What is going on?
Er, is there a problem, sir?
777
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,960
Signore Fazio,
you are ruining my special day.
778
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,960
What is this?
Hey, hey, you can't just...
779
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:27,000
SHE GASPS
780
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:29,960
Who are you?
781
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:31,960
Erm...
782
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,960
I'm, erm...
Well...
783
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,960
She's not a princess.
784
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,960
These people are not Eurotrash.
785
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:39,000
They're just trash!
786
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,480
This whole thing is a fake.
787
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,960
Come on, Marco.
Gennaro, let me explain.
788
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,480
No. I have my story.
789
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,800
Not the one I thought I was getting,
but this one is even better.
790
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,960
"Five-star hotel defrauds magazine."
791
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,960
Signore Fazio, we made a mistake.
But we can talk, we can explain.
792
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,960
Juliet, I'm not interested
in explanations.
793
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,960
I want an offer or I go to press.
794
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,160
What sort of offer?
Well, you tell me.
795
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,960
How much is it worth to you
to keep the story from running?
796
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:11,960
Give me some time,
I'll see what I can come up with.
797
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,960
I'll give you five minutes.
798
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,960
Mandy, wait!
799
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,480
Nan?
800
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,960
Let's go inside.
801
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:42,960
Thanks, Jo.
802
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,960
What the hell are you wearing?
Er, it's for charity.
803
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,800
Thank you, Jo, you did really well.
Thank you.
804
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,960
At least I'm good for something.
Yes.
805
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,960
I can't let him print the story.
We need to pay him off.
806
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,960
With what?
Good question.
807
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,960
Sam, last night
he showed me these photos.
808
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,960
Someone famous in hospital
in a really bad state.
809
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:14,320
He admitted he told his photographer
to sneak in to get them.
810
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,960
And...?
811
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,160
He told me photos can be worth more
if you don't print them.
812
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:19,960
He's blackmailing the person
in the photos,
813
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,320
forcing her to pay him
to keep them out of the papers.
814
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,960
That's what he's trying to do to us,
that's what he does.
815
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,960
Where are the photos?
They're in his room.
816
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,960
OK. I'll get the others.
Search his room.
817
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,960
You sort Fazio in your office.
Have a drink with him.
818
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:36,960
Bat your eyelashes.
Just keep him in there.
819
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,960
I won't be long.
OK.
820
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,960
Right, we're looking for
a brown envelope full of photos.
821
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:56,960
Right, where are you...?
822
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,960
He won't be long. He's just seeing
how much he can get his hands on.
823
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,640
I can't apologise enough,
Signore Fazio.
824
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,800
You see, the real wedding
was cancelled and...
825
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,960
I'm not interested in apologies
or explanations, Juliet.
826
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:17,960
I know, I'm...
827
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,960
I'm just so sorry.
Erm...
828
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,960
Especially on a personal level.
829
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,960
I'm not so sure
I should believe you.
830
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,960
I've enjoyed your company very much,
Gennaro. And it's just...
831
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,960
..today's events
got in the way of us.
832
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,960
And in different circumstances...
833
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:53,960
Has anybody found anything?
No.
834
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:54,960
James?
Huh?
835
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:57,320
Nothing.
Shit, they're not here!
836
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:00,960
I knew it,
we both felt it when we first met,
837
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,960
when we bumped into each other.
838
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,960
Am I that transparent?
No.
839
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,640
But I can see you more clearly now.
840
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,960
And what do you see?
Two people...
841
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:18,960
..with a mutual desire.
842
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,960
I can pull up the floorboards.
No, Tanya, thank you.
843
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,960
I think you need a drink, boss.
So, we're just going to give up?
844
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:26,160
What other choice do we have?
845
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,960
Is the door locked?
Why?
846
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,960
Because I know
what we both want to do.
847
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:49,960
Sam!
848
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,800
And it cannot wait, Juliet.
849
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:01,960
This is another game?
850
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,960
Huh?
SHE GASPS
851
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:08,960
In another place, in another time,
I would just take what I want.
852
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,960
What is going on?
Tell me!
853
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,800
Tell me, you sneaky little bitch!
854
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,640
You sneaky little bitch,
what is it?
855
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:19,960
Get off!
856
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:20,960
Get off her!
857
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:24,960
I'm OK.
What's going on?
858
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:28,000
By the time I've finished with you,
no-one will come to this hotel...
859
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,960
Now, then, Signore Fazio,
about that deal.
860
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,960
Where did you get those?
No, where did you get them?
861
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,960
Did you have permission
to take these?
862
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:43,960
Permission?
This is theft.
863
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,960
Give me those back
or I'll call the police.
864
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,960
Go ahead. We can tell them how
you broke into a private hospital
865
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,800
to illegally take photos
which you later used for extortion.
866
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,960
HE SCOFFS
Very well, then.
867
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,800
I won't print the wedding story.
868
00:45:58,800 --> 00:45:59,960
You have my word.
869
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,960
Now, give me the photos back.
870
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,960
No, I think that we'll hang on
to them for insurance purposes.
871
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,640
You know,
just in case you change your mind.
872
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,960
You...
873
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,960
I think the phrase
you're looking for is,
874
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:14,960
"You haven't heard
the last of this."
875
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:16,960
Or something similar.
876
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,960
Are you OK?
877
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,960
They have to be a lot scarier
than that to rattle me.
878
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,640
I'm sorry I was so long.
879
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:35,800
It's OK. It's OK.
880
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,000
Mum...
881
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:49,960
What are you doing here?
Simon...
882
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,640
..I know everything.
883
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:52,960
About the money.
884
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,640
The lies.
885
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:56,000
You interfering old bag.
886
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,960
You always think that you know best.
That's what this is about, isn't it?
887
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,320
Alexis, this is about Amanda.
888
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,960
You've always treated her
like a commodity.
889
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:04,960
Oh, please...
890
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,960
I only wish I'd acted before
you cut her out of my life.
891
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,960
I don't even know
where my own granddaughter lives.
892
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,960
We decide
how best to manage her affairs.
893
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:12,960
Not any more.
894
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,960
We've spoken to the lawyers
and they told me my options.
895
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,800
SHE SCOFFS
Mum, you can't.
896
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,960
It just means she takes control
of her own finances.
897
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,960
Amanda's going to come and stay
with me for a few days, cool off.
898
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,000
Then we'll all sit down and talk.
899
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:31,960
Darling...
900
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,960
..try and understand.
901
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,480
We were trying...
You lied to me, Mum.
902
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,960
No, we were...
Yes.
903
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,640
Yes, we did.
904
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:44,480
We did.
905
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,160
And we're sorry.
906
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:48,960
Amanda...
907
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:52,960
I'll be in touch.
908
00:47:58,960 --> 00:47:59,960
SHE SIGHS HEAVILY
909
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,960
Hey...
910
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:04,960
So, did you divorce the bastards?
911
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,000
I'll go and collect your bag.
912
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,960
Not really, but it's cool.
913
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:12,960
Listen, you know you're not allowed
to have parties?
914
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:14,960
Oh, God, please don't remind me.
915
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,960
I thought I might have one
if you sort out the guests.
916
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,960
No way!
You're joking, right?
917
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,960
I'm going to throw you the party
of the century.
918
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,960
I'll see you later. Bye.
Bye.
919
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,960
Thanks for everything.
You're more than welcome, madam.
920
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,480
I'll come back, show you my medal.
Shark Girl's gold medal.
921
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,960
I look forward to seeing that.
922
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:40,000
Bye.
Good luck.
923
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:44,960
Now, have you got everything?
924
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:47,000
Thanks, guv.
925
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:49,960
No, Ken, thank you.
926
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,960
And if you reconsider, let me know.
Done.
927
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:55,960
All the best, then.
928
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,960
You know, I must say, you've, erm...
929
00:48:57,960 --> 00:48:59,960
You've obviously had quite a life.
930
00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:01,960
Those stories of yours
are something else.
931
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:03,960
Oh, I make them all up, guv.
932
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:07,800
Yeah, I fixed trams for 51 years.
933
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,160
I never got out of the country.
934
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,960
It was all a bit dull,
but, er, hey-ho.
935
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:14,960
See you, then.
936
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,640
Yeah, see you.
937
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,960
Oh, I see.
Bringing out the good stuff.
938
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,960
Well, I thought we'd celebrate
our lucky escape.
939
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:28,960
Go on, then, Tony, you can say it,
"I told you so."
940
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,960
Well, why would I want to?
It all worked out in the end.
941
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:34,960
Anyway, it's not about me.
942
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:37,960
All right, then, I told you so.
943
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:38,960
THEY BOTH CHUCKLE
944
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:40,960
Ben...
945
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:42,960
Ben, are you OK?
946
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,960
It's just that you've been a bit...
947
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,640
..well, massively weird
the last couple of days.
948
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:50,960
OK.
949
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:52,960
It's just that...
950
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,960
You know when me and you...?
951
00:49:59,960 --> 00:50:01,960
Who...
952
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,800
..is that?
953
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:05,960
Er, Tanya's cousin, I think.
954
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:06,960
Fantastic!
955
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,640
What?
Oh, nothing.
956
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:13,960
I think I've just realised
I'm definitely a rum-and-raisin man.
957
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:14,960
Hey, everybody.
958
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,960
Ah, Gino, James, when are we
going to hear these speeches?
959
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:18,960
Yeah!
960
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:20,000
What?
961
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,960
Oh!
962
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,960
Er...
963
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:26,000
Ahem!
964
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,960
It all start when me and my wife...
965
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:32,960
I was joking.
Oh...!
966
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,960
SAM: Hidden truths
come in all shapes and sizes.
967
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:37,960
So, any ideas
how we're going to come up with
968
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,960
200-odd grand for this tax bill?
How about some more weddings?
969
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:42,960
That's not funny.
No, seriously.
970
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,960
Emily's taken two bookings.
A footballer and a soap star.
971
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:46,960
The word's got out.
972
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,960
People want a taste of Babylon's
new-found royal glamour.
973
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:51,000
Huh!
974
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:52,960
Do you remember our wedding night?
975
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:55,960
No, not that bit, earlier,
976
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,960
when you did the Running Man
in your dress on the dance floor.
977
00:50:59,960 --> 00:51:01,960
I think there's a video of it
somewhere.
978
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,960
That's your set of prints
you asked for.
979
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,960
SAM: But whatever you're trying
to hide, whatever your secret is,
980
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,320
remember,
it won't stay hidden for ever.
981
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:18,960
Hey, what is this?
982
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:20,960
To Henry and Marianne!
ALL: Henry and Marianne!
983
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:26,960
SHE GAGS
984
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:57,000
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985
00:51:57,050 --> 00:52:01,600
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