All language subtitles for Hotel Babylon s02e05.eng

CHARLIE: 'Hotels love
celebrity guests.

'All that free publicity,
the mention of where they're staying

'in countless magazines
and newspapers

'and, of course,
there's the cash they shell out.

'Today, you don't need
to be talented or witty

'or clever to be a celebrity.

'This is the age
of the famous for being famous.

'Shag a footballer,
appear on a reality TV show

'and suddenly you're catapulted
into the limelight.

'The staff are like servants.
We're not supposed to judge,

'we're just here to make sure
your stay is a pleasant one.

'But the truth is, we're only human.

'We see attention lavished
on those who haven't earned it...

'..while the genuinely talented
pass by unnoticed.'

Somebody's obviously had collagen.

I've got a reservation -
Francis Levington.

Oh, um, sorry, sir.
What was your name again?

'And when someone we truly admire
does come to stay...

'..we want them to see us
as more than

'just the person who changes
their sheets or serves their drinks.

'Sometimes,
we want to be noticed too.'

SHOUTS OVERLAP

Good morning.

Ah, flipping paps have been
following me everywhere.

I can't even powder my nose

without someone jumping out
from behind a bush.

Carrie, give us a smile,
would you, love?

Lovely. So, is it true
you're gonna do Playboy, Carrie?

Depends on how much they pay me.

Go on, girl, work it. Lovely.
Beautiful.

That's it, thank you very much.
Goodbye.

See what I mean? It's a nightmare.

I haven't got lippy on my teeth,
have I?

No, you're fine.

Cos I hate it when they snap me
looking like a minger.

I've got a reservation -
Carrie Cottan.

Well, you'd know that,
unless you've been in a coma.

Hey, it's nice in here, isn't it?

I bet you I'm not the only
famous person to have stayed here.

We've had quite a few.

You're in room 506.
Hope you enjoy your stay.

Thanks.

I'll take these for you.

LOCK BLEEPS

Hello! Hi, um...

I was just about to put this in your
room. I thought you might need it.

I'm sure there was some there
this morning. Oh!

Unless you're trying to tell me
something.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's just that we got rid
of some chambermaids recently

and the new lot keep forgetting
to replace the soaps.

Ah, that's a relief.

Actually, I need it after fighting
my way through those paparazzi.

Who are they waiting for?

Carrie Cottan.

She's apparently
some tabloid favourite.

Oh, right.

Popular culture
isn't really my thing.

I'm sure Miss Cottan's
not familiar with your work.

Probably not.

Although I am.

SHE LAUGHS

Sorry, I just wanted to say
how much I love your novels,

especially The Evolution Of Lament.
It's just so powerful

and all the female characters
are so believable.

Thank you, that's very kind.

Well, um, enjoy your stay.

Actually, seeing as you're here...

..I'm allergic to... to feathers.

I forgot to ask for foam pillows.

I mean, if it's any trouble...

Oh, no problem at all.

I'll make sure some
are delivered to your room.

Thank you.

Sorry, I don't know your name.

It's Jackie.

Well, thank you, Jackie.

Here we go.

LOCK BLEEPS

Just on the left.

Oh, God, your tip!

Oh, it's no good,
I'm gonna wet myself.

Just wait there one minute.

There you go.
Thank you very much!

Well, I'm not that famous

that I don't remember what it's like
doing a crappy little job.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

As you are all probably aware,

Carrie Cottan will be staying
with us for a few days.

The swimming pool will be closed
because she's doing a photo shoot.

God only knows why,

but the paparazzi are still
desperate for pictures of her,

so please keep an eye out for anyone
sneaking around the hotel.

We've already had
one incident this morning.

She didn't seem to mind though.
Who is she anyway?

Carrie Cottan.
She was a shop assistant.

Used to do a lot of that phone sex
on the side,

just to make a bit of extra money.

Turns out that the TV presenter -
what's his name, Marcus Walker?

He was one of her regulars,
till she agreed to meet him.

They had an affair, press found out,
he dumped her,

she did a kiss-and-tell on him.

Told everyone about
his wank-and-dial habit.

Nice.
Now she's doing lad mags

and the reality TV circuit.

She's milking her 15 minutes' fame,
obviously.

That's all we need. Another slapper
that's famous for being famous.

We've got enough of them.
Hey, she's not a slapper.

She's a very passionate
and talented woman.

Talented at what?
Stripping for the newspapers?

To be fair, she did actually pretend
to have sex with a toy tiger

on Celebrity Love Shack.
Really quite convincing, actually.

Who can forget the drunken brawl
with Jordan?

You're just a snob.

So, she's clever
and good at making money.

I like that in a woman, eh.
My mistake. I understand.

It's nothing to do with the fact
she's blonde with a double-D cup?

I think it's pathetic,

all the photographers trying
to get a snap of some nobody

and they haven't even noticed
Francis Levington's staying here.

Exactly.
What, the skinny, bearded bloke?

That skinny, bearded bloke, Anna,
was a Booker Prize nominee last year

and is one of Britain's
most famous authors.

If he's so famous,
how come I haven't heard of him?

His books don't have pictures
in them?

If you are curious,
his book's out next week

and he's reading from it here,
tomorrow at five in the hotel.

If you fancy it, you're welcome
to have half an hour off.

Normally, wild horses wouldn't drag
me away from such an exciting event,

but I've got some admin
I need to catch up on.

Yeah, I've, um...
I find the reception area

gets really busy
around that sort of time.

I'm gonna see a guy...
REBECCA: A man about a dog?

A man about a dog.

You're a bunch of ignoramuses.
Thank you, Rebecca, I'd love to go.

That's it, thank you.

Charlie, I wonder
if you can do me a favour?

My brother is coming to England
for two weeks.

You want preferential room rates?

No, I hate him.
He can stay somewhere else.

No, look, every time
he comes to England,

he plays the big man with me,
you know?

Showing off about this restaurant,
flashing his money around.

You know, laughing at me. So...

If I have a classy woman
like Carrie on my arm,

then he'll laugh
the other side of his head.

She's even classier
than Jodie Marsh.

How can I help?

Well...

Maybe you can put in
a good word for me with Carrie.

You know, make her appetite wet
before I make my moves.

You know, something like...

"Gino, the barman,
he's a leopard in the bedroom."

It might be tricky, slipping that
into the conversation, Gino.

Oh, yeah, I see.

I tell you what,
why don't we tell her

you've created a special cocktail
in her honour.

She'll come down to the bar and you
can show her some of your tricks.

Yes, the one I make for the barman
of the year competition.

I shall say it's for her.
She will love that.

Charlie, you're a genius.
I owe you a big one.

No problem.

Why do people insist on carrying
round those disgusting creatures?

Good morning, madam.

Might be for some, but I've had
a terrible time getting here.

Cab driver drove like a maniac.

Poor little Petal
was very nearly sick, weren't you?

Oh, how dreadful.
Such a little angel.

Isn't she a darling?

I've got a reservation -
Mrs Dickinson.

GROWLS SOFTLY

WHISPERS: One minute.
It's in The Sun.

Where does she get off calling me
a gold-digger?

Ex-wife, Mum.

He left the stupid cow.

Oh, I'll get her back.

There's lots of stuff
Marcus told me about

that she wouldn't want
splashed across the front page.

I'll have to go.
There's someone here.

Bye.

I'm sorry about that.

No problem whatsoever.

I just wanted to make sure you
had everything that you need.

Oh, yeah, I'm great.

Hair and make-up are gonna be ready
in about ten, fifteen minutes

and one of our staff
will escort you down to the pool.

Actually, seeing as you're here,
there is something.

I've been sent some perfume.

It's a designer freebie.

What do you think?

Mm, it's very nice.

Not too strong?

No, seems fine to me.

Oh, look.

You've got
a bit of fluff on your shirt.

Are you gonna be
coming to see me in action?

I'm gonna be a sexy mermaid.

No doubt I'll pop along,

just to make sure
things are running smoothly.

I'll look out for you.

OK.

She's not here long, so it won't
be easy. Can't guarantee anything.

Well, if you get your hands on them,
give us a call. Uh-huh.

My mate. Just popped over
for a quick chat, you know?

Oh, that's all right then.

I mean, I thought you'd left the
desk unattended for no good reason,

but as long as you're having a good
time. Sorry, have we met before?

Don't think so.
Cos I'm sure I know your face.

Ad's a mate from back home, so...
Listen, I'd better be going.

I'll see you later.

OK, Carrie, I'm after sexy
with a hint of evil, OK?

You're luring sailors to the rocks
with your seductive wiles, yeah?

OK, positions, please.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

OK, Carrie, less evil
and a bit more sexy.

You're trying to entice the sailors,
love, not frighten them off.

# You're magic to me

# A beautiful mystery

# I'm certain to fall, I know

# Because you enthral me so

# Marina... #

CRASH

Cut. Can someone fix the backdrop,
please?

OK, just take five while
we sort this out, all right?

Charlie?

You couldn't give us a hand,
could you?

This rock's murder on my arse.
Yeah, sure.

Ooh!

Sorry.

SHE GIGGLES

I'm terribly sorry,
I didn't mean to put you out.

Oh, it's fine, I had to do
something on this floor anyway.

Actually, seeing as you're here,

would you mind giving me
an opinion on something?

I'd be happy to.

I want to look smart
for this reading tomorrow night.

Just can't choose which tie
to wear with my suit.

Although I'll have to
find them first.

I'm not usually this indecisive.

You think I'd be used to it by now,

but I always get sick with nerves
before a reading.

I had to give a talk at uni once.

It was only in front
of about 20 people,

but I could barely
get the words out.

So, what do you think?

Definitely the green.

It'll bring out
the colour in your eyes.

Right. Great.

Well, thank you.

So, will your new book
be on sale tomorrow?

Yes, they're sending
some advance copies over.

Great.

OK.

I'm here working tomorrow afternoon.

If you wanted, you could pop in.
You'd be welcome to have one.

Only if you want.

Thank you,
that's really kind of you.

I should be here around one.

OK, I'll see you then.

Yes, I'll see you.

Um, could I put my purse in
the safe, my dear? Yes, of course.

Oh, good. Would you just hold Petal
for me for one moment.

PETAL GROWLS SOFTLY

I'm taking her
for her morning constitutional

and, ever since
some hooligan grabbed my bag,

I don't like to take
my purse with me.

Oh, how awful!
I hope you weren't hurt.

No, no, no, I was fine.

Petal was terribly traumatised
though.

Had to have several sessions
with a doggy psychologist.

Oh, look, she likes you!

It's a great compliment.
She's very discerning.

Yes. I think animals can tell
how much I love them.

Come on then, my darling.

Come on. Oh, there we are.
Thank you!

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Are you OK?
Yeah, I'm fine.

Just catch my finger in the door.

OK.

Good afternoon. I'm Gino.

I'm Carrie.

I heard there's a freebie cocktail
on offer?

Yes. I have made a special cocktail
in honour of your stay.

Would you like to try?

Yeah, sure.

Actually, I've named it after you.

It's called Very Sexy Lady
By The Swimming Pool.

It's a beautiful cocktail
for a beautiful lady.

Aren't you the cheesy one!

Well, anyway, it's delicious.

Hope you like it.
MOBILE PHONE CHIMES

Actually, I think
maybe I could enter it

for the Barman of the Year
competition.

MOBILE PHONE KEYPAD BLEEPS

I'm in the last six.

Don't want to blow my own trombone,
but, er...

I'm the hot tip to win.

That's great, Milo.

Gino.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

KEYPAD BLEEPS

Your cocktail.

Oh.

Mm, that is tasty.

Thanks very much.

Everyone here's been
so lovely to me.

Especially Charlie.

He's, um...
He's been looking after me.

So, what is the story with Charlie?

I bet you he's got a gorgeous
girlfriend stashed away somewhere.

No.
He's single?

No, I mean that, er,
he has a boyfriend.

Hello, sir.

Ben, the receptionist.

Charlie's gay? Yeah, I know,
surprising, isn't it?

He doesn't seem the type.

The general manager doesn't like it
when the staff get involved,

so him and Ben,
they're playing it straight.

You know, to put her off the smell.

Listen, it's probably best if you
don't tell him that I told you.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS
He might get upset.

Um, I'll have to get this.

Thanks again for the cocktail, Milo.

Hello?

Hi, Rita.

Hello, Luke.

You need me do something?

I don't have to need something
to want to chat to you, do I?

Actually, I've been hoping to get
you on your own for a while now. Me?

Yeah, you.

Come on, Rita,
you must have noticed I like you.

Why don't you put that down?

You...

You're very pretty.

I don't know.

Well, I do.

I'm meant to be working.

You know what they say about
all work and no play, don't you?

What if someone come in?

I get it, you're not interested.

If you don't like me,
you could have said something

instead of letting me
make a fool out of myself.

No, it's OK.

I do like you...

..very much.

Well, then.

Shut up and come here.

Charlie?

I just wanted to apologise
about before.

You know, about being
such a terrible flirt.

I'm just glad that Milo told me
you bat for the other side

before I made even more
of a tit of myself.

Milo?
The barman.

I probably
shouldn't have mentioned it.

He said you like to keep it quiet.

Don't worry, I won't say anything.

It's quite a relief, actually.

When you didn't seem interested,
I thought I was losing my touch!

Well, um...

I'm glad it's out in the open.

I'm doing an appearance in GAY
in a few weeks.

You should come along.
I could get you some free tickets.

Sounds sensational. I can polish off
my leather hot pants.

And, er, bring Ben.

By the way, he's gorgeous.

Youse make a lovely couple.

Yes, Ben is very special to me.

Oh, shit, better get a move on.

Don't forget to let me know
about those tickets.

We should get back to work
before anyone misses us.

It's my last room.

I go home now.

Right, well,
I should get back to work.

Look, let me know when you're free.

We'll go for dinner,

somewhere special.

See you later.

DOOR THUDS SHUT

Hey, Gino, how's it going? Oh, hi,
Charlie, I didn't hear you come in.

Yeah, OK, you know, can't complain.

Anyway, love to chat,
but in a bit of a rush.

Oh, that's OK, just a quick thing.

Have you got any idea why Carrie
Cottan might think that I'm gay?

You, gay?

No, no.

Maybe she's crazy.

Or maybe it's your shirt.

If you don't mind me saying,
it's a little bit girly.

It's a strange thing,

because I actually think
you might have told her that.

Me? No. No.

She must have misheard me.

She's also misheard you
saying that I'm going out with Ben.

Well, maybe I did say something,
you know, by mistake.

I saw her being flirty with you
by the pool,

so, when she asked me
if you had a girlfriend,

just... slip out.

Gino, even if Carrie does like me,
I'm really not interested.

And, besides,
you can't go seducing a woman

by telling her that
all the competition is gay.

I know.

But, you know,
I make a special cocktail,

I tell her she's beautiful
and she's not interested.

Women like Carrie, they're used
to getting compliments, aren't they?

If you want to get to know her,

find out if you've got anything
in common.

Build up some kind of rapport
with her.

Maybe you're right.

You think maybe
she likes Celine Dion?

Oh, you like to shop
for beautiful dresses?

Oh, God, yeah. Too much.

Me too!

Oh.

Right.

No, I mean I like to go
shopping with my girlfriend.

Not that I have a girlfriend
at the moment.

Of course, I could have a girlfriend
if I wanted to.

I've had lots of girlfriends
in the past,

but not that many. I don't want you
to think I'm some kind of slag.

I'm a loyal guy.

Actually, I think it's about time
for me to settle down,

You know, nice big house
with the right woman, lots of kids.

LIFT CHIMES

This is my floor.

Oh, OK.

HE MUTTERS

"Carrie Cottan's ex, Marcus Walker,

"has clearly put his affair
with busty babe Carrie behind him.

"Marcus and his sexy wife,
television presenter Angela Walker,

"have announced that they are
expecting a baby."

God, imagine being snubbed
publicly like that.

Well, if you will behave like
a publicity-hungry tart,

what else can you expect?
Hey.

She deserve our compassion.

It's this Marcus Walker
who's a pig, not her.

So, you'd turn down the cover of GQ,
would you, if you were offered it?

Absolutely, yes.

I intend to make my millions
in a dignified way.

Through marrying some rich bloke?

Anna, can I have a word?

Mrs Dickinson's going out
for a couple of hours

and she's requested
that you look after her dog,

so you need to take her
for an afternoon walk.

I can't do that. I couldn't possibly
go for a walk in these shoes.

Well, I've got some trainers
I can lend you if you like.

You can pick Petal up at one o'clock
at Mrs Dickinson's room.

A walk'll be lovely
on such a gorgeous day.

Are you OK?

No, something terrible
has just happened.

Are you free lunchtime?
This hasn't got anything to do with

Mrs Dickinson asking you
to walk her dog, has it?

Yes, it is outrageous!

Dog-walking's hardly
my job description,

not to mention how dangerous
they could be.

Dangerous?

Yes, dogs are disgusting and vicious
little creatures, Jackie.

It could attack me.

I could be killed or, worse still,
I could be maimed,

which is why I
think it's better if you did it.

Thanks, usually
I'd jump at the chance

of being attacked
by a miniature Lassie,

but today, I'm kind of busy.

Oh, really?
Mm-hm.

I'll kill you if you tell anyone.

Francis Levington's
asked me up to his room.

He's gonna give me
an advance copy of his book.

Oh, I wondered why you were
so glamorous today.

Still, rather you than me. I once
went on a date with a clever man

and all he wanted to do
was talk about politics.

I mean, who cares about that?

It's not a date, he's just knows
I'm a really big fan of his work.

He's just being kind.

Right. So, that's why you've got
new hair and new shoes.

Can't a girl make an effort
without wanting to seduce someone?

You should take the jacket off.
Really?

Yeah, show a bit of flesh.

There you go!

Hey, Jackie. Hi.
You look lovely.

Have you done something new
with your hair?

No, I just put it up.
Nothing special.

Anyway, I've got a meeting to go to.
See you later.

She's got a rendezvous
with Francis Levington -

you know, that book writer?

They've been getting very friendly.

Oh, right.

Well, good for her.
Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be on it Friday night.
Not Blackpool bloody Pleasure Beach.

Of course...

Champagne, sir.

You know, I always wonder about
the people an author thanks.

If you're really interested,
I'd be happy to tell you.

Although I'm not sure
I can remember who I put.

Er, well, this is my publisher,
Peter.

Although, seeing as
he's the one who bullies me

into doing these readings, I don't
think I should be thanking him.

Oh, and that's... He's my teacher
from years ago.

I always thank him, even though
I haven't seen him for...

Stop. Stop!

What?
I don't think this is a good idea.

What was all that then?
Sitting on my bed and kissing me?

Is this how you get your kicks?

Leading some unattractive man on
and then humiliating him?

No, I do find you attractive.

Well, there shouldn't be a problem,
should there? What are you doing?

Get off me.
I don't want this!

Well, I do and I don't appreciate
being teased.

Argh!

GENERAL HUBBUB

PAPS SHOUT CARRIE'S NAME

SHE SOBS

DOOR LOCK BLEEPS

DOOR OPENS

LOCK BLEEPS

What are you doing here?

I could ask you the same question.

SHE CRIES

We should get out of here.

What have you got in your pocket?

Tell you what, don't ask me any
questions, I won't ask you any.

I saw you take some photos.

OK, yeah.
They're her and that TV presenter.

Seems Mr Walker likes to do it
dressed in girls' clothes.

I'm gonna take them to the tabloids
and make a mint.

So, if you don't mind...

Take them back.

Oh, I get it.
Got a wee crush, have we?

Worried she'll be upset?

Well, she was happy enough
to make a fast buck

off somebody else's bad luck.

I'm sure she'd understand.
This is different.

This is stealing.
And this is getting boring.

You put them back or I tell Rebecca.

And I'll tell her I found you
hiding in Carrie's bathroom.

What were you doing, Gino?
Sniffing her underwear?

You shut your mouth.
It was not like that.

No, you're gonna shut your mouth,
cos, if you don't, well...

You're not gonna have that barman
job you're so fond of much longer.

And, as for being
Barman of the Year, well,

you can kiss that goodbye.

I don't think they give awards
to dirty old men.

Right, Petal, put your feet up,
read a magazine

cos I certainly intend to.

Now, be a good girl
and Auntie Anna'll be back soon.

OK?

Look, I'm not making this much fuss
over a few holiday snaps.

They're valuable
and, in the wrong hands,

they could be worth a lot of money.

I'm sorry about this, but we do
offer a safe for valuable items

as I'm afraid we're not liable
for things left in a guest's room.

Yeah, well, they're personal and
I didn't fancy handing them over.

If you must know,
they're of me and Marcus Walker...

..and they're a bit X-rated.

One of your staff
must have taken them.

How the hell would anyone else get
in here? Shall I call the police?

No. The last thing I need
is more flipping publicity

about how they've been stolen.

Every journalist in London'll
be looking for them.

If somebody has taken them, they
still might not go to the press

and we're gonna do
everything we can to find them.

We'll let you know
if we hear anything. Thanks.

DOOR CLOSES

Can you check if anyone
let themselves into her room

after she went out?

If any names come up, look into it.

Could I have a gin and tonic,
please?

You OK?

Sit down.

Sit.

It's just so embarrassing.

It's OK.

I've been such a bloody idiot.

I wasn't even gonna sell my story.

But then Marcus...

That's my ex.

He pissed off the minute
the press found out.

Then I thought,
well, why should I disappear?

That's just giving him
what he wants.

And then, once I'd spoke to
the press, it was come on telly

and do these photos.

I was earning �4.90 an hour
in Kwikshop.

When would a girl like me
ever get these chances again?

Only now...

I'm a slapper and a gold-digger

and it wasn't like that.

I never planned any of this.

We just got on.

And I really loved him.

Hey, hey.

Here, come on. It's OK.

No, it's not,

because now someone has stolen
some photos of me and him together

and, if they go to the press, he's
gonna think that I've sold them

and I wouldn't do that.

I really wouldn't.

I'm sorry.

Don't feel sorry for me.

I'm the stupid cow
who got myself into this mess.

We all do crazy things
when we are in love.

I'd better go and get myself
cleaned up.

Probably look a right state.
Hey.

You look lovely.

It's Gino, isn't it?

I spoke to security. Rita Fernandez
is definitely the only person

to have gone in Carrie's room
after she'd gone out.

Honestly, Charlie, I don't think
she had anything to do with it.

She's painfully shy,
she can barely speak English

and she can't read a newspaper,
let alone sell photos to the press.

We're still gonna
have to chat with her.

Look, you take those photos back
or I tell Rebecca.

All this over some woman
who wouldn't even look at you.

It's not about that.
It's about doing what's right.

Fine. You'll do it?
As it happens,

I was thinking of taking them back
anyway. What are you going to say?

Well, I quite fancy
being hero of the hour,

so I was gonna say I found them.

Who knows? Might even get a raise
and, if Carrie's really grateful,

well, could get a shag out of it
and all.

Such a lucky day.

You get to keep your stupid
job after all.

HE CURSES

Are you all right?

Yeah, fine.

You know, Luke sometimes
makes me boil blood.

You don't usually smoke, do you?

It's been one of those mornings.

Jackie, what's wrong?

Jackie?

Jackie, you can talk to me.

Francis Levington
invited me up to his room.

He offered me a copy
of his new book.

I thought he genuinely wanted
to get to know me.

He seemed really sweet.

We kissed.

He wanted to take it further, I told
him to stop and he wouldn't.

Did he, um...

No.

I got away before he had the chance.
You told anyone about this?

Rebecca? The police?

No, I'm not going to.

I mean, it's my word against his.

I chose to go up there. I can
imagine what they're gonna say.

You won't just let him get away with
it? I'm not happy about it, Charlie.

I mean, I've got to work here
for the next two days

knowing he's around.

I'm scared.
I'll deal with it.

What does that mean?

You just go and find Rita
and I'll see you in a minute.

Charlie!

Don't do anything stupid.

So, ten o'clock
should be half the time...

Excuse me.

Can I have a quick word, sir,
please?

Of course.

There seems to be a problem
with your booking.

You've only booked for
two out of four nights

and I'm afraid we're full,

so we can't accommodate you
tonight or tomorrow night.

Well, that can't be right.

I remember getting the confirmation
from my publisher.

I'm afraid it is, sir.

Well, I don't think
that's good enough.

I'm not prepared to be
inconvenienced like this,

not when it's patently
the hotel's error, not mine.

You'll just have to
sort something out.

Well, there's really nothing
we can do.

I'm just glad that Miss Clunes -
Jackie -

told me about the problem,

otherwise I wouldn't be able
to fix it.

I believe you spoke with her
earlier, in your room.

Listen to me...

She was hanging around my room
like some groupie.

She came onto me.
If she's choosing to rewrite history

and make herself out to be some sort
of victim, well, she's lying.

You must see, this is
a horrible misunderstanding.

You know...
I can't pack up my room now.

I'm about to eat dinner
with my publisher.

I think you're misunderstanding me.
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.

For God's sake, be reasonable.

You can't seriously believe
that lying little tart over me.

I suggest you go
and pack your bags now,

before I deal with the situation
personally.

Ben! Ben!

I've lost Petal.

I locked her in the storeroom
and somehow she's got out.

I can't find her anywhere.
You locked her in the storeroom?

You didn't seriously expect me
to spend time with her, did you?

She smells. She must be terrified!
Who gives a stuff about her?

What about me? Mrs Dickinson is
going to be back in half an hour

and if I don't find her, she'll
murder me. What am I gonna do?

Wait a minute.
Did you get that from in there?

I take it to the laundry room.
But the door was locked.

I used spare key.
Did you see a dog in there?

BOTH GASP

Oh, no. Did you put the laundry
in the machine yet?

No.

I leave it there. Maria do it now.

GASPS

Can you see her?

No, I don't think she's in there.

Oh, wait! Isn't that a tail?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God,
it's starting to spin!

Oh, why won't this damn thing open?
What are you doing?

Help me, Ben!

It's OK, I've got it.

Oh, how did you do that?

I pulled this out.

I always knew that Physics GCSE
would come in handy.

Oh!

Oh, shit.
I didn't do nothing.

I didn't!
I in trouble now, I lose job?

Of course not,
not if you didn't do anything.

But I want you to promise me, if you
remember anything, anything at all,

that's gonna help us find
the pictures,

you'll come to me immediately.

OK, Rita. Thanks, you can go.

Do you think she's hiding something?

I doubt it. I think a thief
must have found the key

and let themselves into the room.

That's great,
Rebecca's gonna love that. Yeah.

Oh, you needn't worry about
Francis Levington any more.

Why, what did you say to him?

Unfortunately, he only booked
for two nights, not four,

and, well, sadly, we're full.

Oh, thank you.

I've got a weekend off coming up.

Do you want to come over
for a bit of dinner?

Maybe watch a DVD?

Can I get back to you on that?

Sure, no problem.

I should go. Good luck with Rebecca.

You gave me a shock,
creeping up on me like that.

Sorry.

It's just I'm free this Friday.

Maybe you want to have dinner?

Sorry, no can do. I'm busy.

It's probably a bad idea, you know,

getting involved
with another staff member,

but I'll see you around.

Oh, there you are, my darling!

I was starting to get worried.

Oh, she's awfully warm.

Is she?

That's because she's been lying
by a window in the sunshine.

We had such a beautiful walk,
didn't we, Petal?

Well, now I know how well
you two get on,

I can make sure you get the chance
to look after her next time I come!

You can shut up.

Just thought I'd let you know
I've taken them back,

so you can quit stressing.

So, do I get a free whisky or
something for being such a good boy?

I don't think so.

Are you Luke?
That's me.

Let me give you a hug.

Thank you so, so much.

Look, I've got a couple of tickets
for a film premiere on Friday night.

Why don't you take them
as a thank you?

That's great, thanks!

You said you gave them back.

I did. It's just I'd already scanned
them off to the paper by then.

You didn't think I'd miss a chance
like that, did you?

That's it. I'm telling Rebecca.

You sure about that, Gino?

It's just the pictures are already
in the paper. The damage is done.

You'd be losing your job
and your reputation for nothing.

Cos if you take me down, Gino,
I'm taking you with me.

What you've told me about Luke
is shocking,

but I can't say I'm surprised.

But you, Gino, I can't tell you
how disappointed I am.

Very sorry. I...
It's a crazy mistake.

But did you think about
how it would look

if she'd found you hidden
in her bathroom?

I need staff that I can trust
to guard our reputation.

What if another woman comes along
that you admire?

How do I know I won't find you
hiding under her bed?

I have learnt my lesson.

It won't happen again.

No, you're right, it won't.

Not in my hotel.

I'm sorry, Gino, but I can't see
a way to keep you on after this.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Not now.
I think you might want to hear this.

The other day, I caught Luke
talking to some bloke.

It's been driving me mad
trying to place him.

Anyway, it came to me this morning.
His name's Adam Sorrel.

He's a freelance journalist
working for the tabloids.

And Rita the chambermaid
just came and spoke to me.

She remembered talking
to Luke yesterday,

before her key went missing then saw
him getting photos from his locker.

Right, well, as it happens,
some other things have turned up.

Luke definitely took the photos.

Wait till I get my hands on him.

No, Tony, I'd rather
you didn't say anything yet,

not till I've spoken to him. If you
could just fetch him for me, please.

How did it go?

Let's just say I wouldn't want to be
Luke right now.

I was wondering...

Did you get a chance
to think about dinner, Saturday?

Yeah, I have.

I just kind of think
it's a bit soon for all that.

We're just getting used to
being friends

and I don't want to mess that up.

Right.

Well, OK. Maybe you're right.

Probably for the best anyway.
My flat's a right tip.

I'd have to tidy it up.

Cool.

You wanted to see me?

Yes, I wanted to thank you again
for bringing the photos back.

As you're probably aware,

unfortunately they turned up
in the paper anyway.

Yeah, I must've got to them
too late, huh?

Obviously I'm keen to find out
who did this.

You haven't remembered
anything useful?

Afraid not, no.
Only wish I could be more help.

It's just that I had
a chat with Gino earlier

and he told me you took them.

Me?

The liar.

This is because
he's got a big crush on Carrie

and now he's eaten up with jealousy
because she's really grateful...

I see. It's just that Tony also saw
you talking to the journalist,

Adam Sorrel.
So?

He's a mate.
Doesn't mean I'm involved, does it?

No, it doesn't,
but the fact Rita Fernandez

saw you taking photos
from your locker yesterday

would suggest that you are.

They're holiday photos and...

Yeah, so I did it, yeah, I took 'em.

I fail to see
what's so funny about this.

You know I could call the police.

Oh, you could, yeah, but you won't.

Well, what makes you
so confident about that?

Well, the thing is, I've a nice
little deal going with the tabloid.

They're paying me
to keep an eye out for hotel scams,

dirty dealings.

They want to do a big article.

Now, I haven't spilled the beans
as yet...

..but if the police get involved,
Becky,

well,

that could change.

Get out.

You're sacked and if I see
another word about this hotel

in any newspaper
that I can trace back to you,

I go straight to the police. Out!

Hello.

Bingo.

Hey, that's my money!
Not any more, it isn't.

Go and have a coffee, mate,
we'll take care of it. OK, boss.

We're gonna put the money
towards our Christmas party.

We thought it'd make a nice gesture.

Consider it your way
of saying sorry.

Sorry for what? I haven't done
anything to you guys, have I?

Rebecca warned me, you know.

She said, "He's a chancer,
don't take him on,"

but I stuck my neck out.

I tried to teach you everything
I know because I seriously believed

that you had what it took
to make a good concierge.

What, end up like you?

Licking arse for a living...

You think because you've got a
pretty face and some smart patter,

you're something.

Well, scratch the surface
and there's nothing left.

Shits like you are ten a penny.

What's the matter, Tone?
Touch a nerve, did I?

Making an enemy of me
is not a smart move.

By the time I've put the word out
on you,

you'll be lucky to get a job
anywhere in London.

I seriously suggest
a change of scenery.

Yeah, well, I'm not scared of you,
Tone.

You've had that one coming
for a while.

Ahem. Gino.

What you did was at best foolish
and at worst grossly irresponsible.

It was pure luck
you didn't damage our reputation

and I can't have staff
behaving like that.

I know.

That said, you put your neck
on the line when you didn't have to,

which showed loyalty to me
and to the hotel.

I'd hardly want to lose a potential
Barman of the Year, would I?

So, I've decided
to let the matter drop.

Thank you, Rebecca.

Thank you, I...

I can't put in words how grateful
I am. Thank you very much.

Well, I'm sure we've all been
guilty of doing stupid things

when we have a crush.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

I won't let you down. I promise.

Make sure you don't.

CHARLIE: 'We all have a public
and a private face,

'but nowhere is this more true
than of celebrities

'and the staff who serve them.

'Maybe the person who is so admired

'isn't really worthy
of our admiration.'

Why don't you make it out
to a lying little tart?

'Or maybe behind someone's
efficient exterior,

'they're hiding unhappiness
at aspirations gone awry.

'That cheeky chap with the
flirtatious smile for everyone

'isn't as charming as he seems.

'And the woman we all loved to hate

'turns out not to be so bad
after all.

'But sometimes,
what you see is what you get.

'People really are that shallow.'

Oh, bye-bye, Petal,
I'm gonna miss you!

Say goodbye.
Bye-bye!

Bye-bye!

Urgh.

'And that nice bloke who seems to
have his heart in the right place

'turns out to be just that.'

I'm off.

I just wanted to say goodbye

and thanks for being so nice.

It's no problem. I have enjoyed
getting to know you.

Same here, Gino.

Anyway, it seems they're right

when they say that no publicity's
bad publicity.

I've just been offered
a huge modelling contract.

I'm gonna be the new Ginelli
underwear model.

There's gonna be pictures of me
in my undies all over London.

Isn't that great?

Sounds fantastic.

See you around, Gino.
Yeah.

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