Original subtitles

Hello? AT&T?

Yes. This is Mrs. Gilbert-Wayne speaking.

How do? How do? Yes.

I just received your friendly note about our phone service being cut off.

You wouldn't do that.

How am I supposed to reach out to someone?

Yes. I'll hold.

I heard about brothers cross-dressing when they home alone,

but this is a new twist.

They're bill collectors, Ron. They're easier on women.

Damn. You desperate.

No, I'm broke.

After payin' taxes, we're stretching every penny.

Give me some water. This is killing my throat.

You know, it pains my ears

to see that my favorite coupon couple is struggling.

Maybe I could just spot you the money.

I had a great weekend at the club.

Thanks. But I don't need a nickel for a gum ball.

I need $200 to pay my phone bill.

Declined?

Hey. You're on the phone with the man of the house now.

How about I come down there,

reach out and touch somebody with my fist?

Hello?

Damn. I hate being broke.

Thank you for the crumbs, Ron.

Two-hundred dollars.

My boy.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? Come what may ?

? I realize that I'm ready ?

? I'm ready ?

? 'Cause I finally heard them say ?

? I heard them say ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? A different world ?

? Now, here's our chance to make it ?

? Here's our chance ?

? If we focus on our goal ?

? Focus on our goal ?

? If you dish it We can take it ?

? We can take it ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? That it's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from, yeah ?

Now, Dashawn, if you thought I was tough as a teacher,

I'm even tougher as a tutor.

And I don't feel too well today, so don't play me.

We will work every Tuesday and Thursday of this summer

until your grammar is perfected.

Cool.

I'm glad you have such a positive attitude about it.

Dang, I got 10,000. That's my highest score.

Page 39 in your text.

I'm not playing no more. I beat you a million times.

- Hello, baby.

How are you, Dashawn?

I was fine until Ms. Gilbert-Wayne took away my Game Boy.

- Game Boy? Ooh! - Game Boy?

Aye!

Why you go grabbing the thing?

Don't you even dream about it.

Let us begin.

In the sentence "Penelope and Percy play purple piccolos at the park,"

- what is the adjective? - Penelope?

- No. - Percy?

No.

The adjective is purple.

"Penelope and Percy play purple piccolos at the park."

The adjective describes the noun, remember?

So, in the sentence, "You are boring,"

boring would be the adjective which describes you.

Right?

Furious would be more like it.

I just axed you a question.

Ask! It's ask!

It's a verb, not a hatchet.

- Give up the thing. - Stop it, 'cause I'm beating you.

- You're not beating me. - What happened?

He's hogging the game that I'm trying to play.

I cannot compete with that stupid contraption.

Whitley, how could this game be stupid

when every kid in America wants one?

They need to develop a cartridge that teaches grammar.

Yeah. make it fun, like baseball.

See, the noun could be the batter, and the pitcher could be a verb.

Every time you get an answer, it'd be a home run.

- I'd be with that. - See, look.

Dwayne, I can't believe my ears.

- What? - You of all people should know

that only a teacher, a human being, can give a child guidance,

verbal stimulation, personal attention,

and most of all, love.

Whitley, you hate kids.

Still, I can do more for a child's mind

than some machine that goes bleepity bleep.

Yeah, but we can't turn you off.

That was all right. I liked that.

When you heading down to my homeland for some fun in the sun, eh?

In two weeks.

Yo, man. Ever think about going back to the islands?

All the time. I'm going to open up a medical clinic there,

- but not until this beauty agrees� - Hey.

�to be my wife.

I'm not going home without her.

- Aw! That's sweet, Spencer. - It is.

Baby, the whole day has almost passed and I haven't asked you to marry me yet.

It really breaks my heart to say no every day.

Say yes, girl!

No.

Don't worry, here, team. Persistence always leads to progress.

- You're right about that. - Go get her.

Honey-drippings. I just got my grades back.

Four As.

Damn! It took me five years to get four As.

This will increase my chances to get on the Hillman Law Journal.

Do you know what that means?

You gonna make me read a lot of boring articles.

No, that's not what it means.

It means that this could be my first step

to getting a clerkship to the Supreme Court Justice.

Baby, these articles are read nationwide

and they reflect profound judicial thought.

I love sleeping with you.

That's the kind of sexism I'll use as my inspiration to get on that journal.

My article is gonna be called "Clarence Thomas, he's just no Thurgood."

I really love sleeping with you.

Kimmie, I have a medical question for you. It's very serious.

What's wrong, Whit?

Could I be allergic to children?

What?

I knew you were gonna laugh, Kimberly.

Think about this. I'm serious.

Every time I'm in a room with those kids,

I get this nauseated feeling.

I get these pulsating hot flashes

and migraine headaches.

Is it warm in here, or is it me?

How long have you been feeling this way?

A month.

Feel my brow. Do I have a fever?

Come on, come on, calm down.

There's no such thing as being allergic to children.

- You've been feeling this way for a month? - Right.

- Have you ever felt this way before? - No.

- Are you late? - For what?

Kimberly. Kimberly!

Dwayne and I are very careful.

We're adults, for God's sakes.

Well, Whitley, you know, it's possible.

Thank you, Doogie Howser, for your wonderful advice,

but you need to go back to med school.

Excuse me. I have to throw up.

- Hey, baby, what you doing up? - I couldn't sleep.

What are you working on?

This computer program that's gonna help out kids like Dashawn.

I'm calling it Grammar Boy. Ah?

Grammar Boy. That's catchy.

The program itself is very complicated,

but the main concept is to teach grammar as a baseball game.

Come on. Play it with me.

- I don't really� I'm not in the mood. - Shut up. Come on.

All right. Now you're the batter standing at the plate.

Like in baseball, you don't know what the pitcher will throw.

It could be a fastball or a curve ball.

Or in this case, an adjective or an adverb.

Every time you swing, you have a chance to complete a sentence and make a home run.

I don't understand. You're the genius.

Just know that I'm gonna market this. It could be our big break.

And someday, maybe even our children

will be playing Grammar Boy in their classroom.

- Someday. - Someday.

Is there any pepperoni pizza in the fridge?

You've been eating like a cow lately.

I have?

It's about time you put on some weight. I like my woman beefy.

I'm beefy?

Just a little bit in the behind and in your face.

Don't worry. Beefy suits you.

I can't believe I'm taking this stupid pregnancy test.

I'm positive it will be negative.

I don't care what the results are.

Shouldn't it be done by now?

Sixty more seconds, Whit.

All the medical technology in the world,

and it takes an eternity to decide my fate.

I thought you weren't worried.

I'm not.

Good. So I won't bother to check the results then.

- Fine. - Fine.

Talk to me. Distract me.

Okay.

I've been really having these strong feelings about Spencer.

- I just wanted to ask- - Time's up. Go check.

I'm not even gonna look at your face when you come out.

All right, Kimberly, lay it on me. No, wait.

Okay. Okay, no.

- Go ahead. - Whitley, you have nothing to worry about.

Thank you, God.

You're gonna be a great mother!

Isn't this exciting? Oh, my God, I'm going to be an aunt!

Can I be in the delivery room? Oh, please?

- Kimberly. - What?

I'm not ready for this.

I'm 24 years old. I don't have a job.

And we're flat broke. Hello! hello!

Oh, come on. You're gonna be great. A mommy!

No.

What is Dwayne gonna say?

He's gonna be thrilled. You know he wants kids.

The directions. You didn't read those instructions right.

Whitley, they're 95% accurate.

Then there's a five percent chance, and I've got to be sure.

I want a second, third, fourth and fifth opinion.

How much money you got?

I don't know. About $40. Why?

Okay, you go buy every pregnancy test they have left.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Whitley, how many times can you go?

I'mma go till it comes out negative.

Ron, I got to run and meet Whitley. I just got the best news of my life.

Oh! Then have a seat. I'll be the first to know.

Remember, I'm your homeboy. She's just your wife.

All right.

I've been working hard on this computer program

that's gonna skyrocket elementary education.

I'm talking pure genius, Ron.

And Kineshewa, they want to buy it.

Congratulations, buddy!

I always knew that you'd have your name lit up

- across some computer screen someday. - No, it's bigger than that.

Kineshewa is crazy about using baseball to teach kids grammar.

I just need to go through one more meeting with the bigwigs.

If it goes well, I'm coming out with fat pockets. Like�

Ping!

Wait a minute. Do you know what this means for us?

We can finally be business partners.

I mean, me with my high concepts,

and you with your little scientific methods.

This is a million-dollar match made in heaven.

- This is exciting. - Ron, hold it. Hold.

- Business partners? - All right, Wayne and Johnson.

My motto is, "No need to be petty when you�"

"about to get paid."

What does my computer program have to do with you?

The baseball game.

It was my brainchild, remember?

Hold on, baby. You got to have a brain to have a brainchild.

What does that mean? I came up with the whole thing.

Ron, no offense, but the guy that was watching Ben Franklin fly the kite

doesn't get a cut in the electricity deal.

Maybe that's because Ben stole homeboy's kite.

Let the record show that it was my idea.

- Ron. the idea came from a conversation- - Not the idea.

My idea.

You wouldn't know a good idea if it jumped up and slapped you.

If it means that much to you, I'll give you five percent,

but I can't carry you this time.

Who asked you to carry me?

Come on. We both know every time something good happens for me,

you get jealous unless you get to tag along.

I can't do it this time, baby.

I've been carrying you since we met. What do you want?

You think I'm jealous of you?

You're crazy. I gotta go. Let's drop it.

No, no, no. It's too late to drop it.

Let's put our cards on the table, brother.

- You want to get real? - Please do.

All right.

Well, I always got finer women than you.

I� I got better grades than you.

I graduated before you, I got married before you,

and to the woman you sweated throughout your college six-year career.

Do you want me to go on with this?

No. No, let me go on for a while.

The problem is that you're feeling a little threatened.

Let's not talk about us then. Let's talk about us now.

See, my club is bringing in cold, hard cash now.

I, Ron Johnson, am lending you money

because you can't pay your phone bill or provide for your woman.

So what if you lent me $200? It's the least you could do.

The reason you ain't fat is from all the exercise you get

opening and closing my refrigerator door, okay?

Tell me something. No. Tell me something, shorty.

Does that light bulb really go out when the door closes,

or is that your shadow blocking the light, huh?

Now you're counting favors?

You need a little food here? Have you some food.

Have you some money. Take the whole thing.

- Don't go that way. - I got this crazy notion

that brothers were supposed to carry each other.

Ron, I have a wife.

You breaking my back.

No, baby, I think that's the chip on your shoulder.

Kimberly, seriously now. That's not really pink. That's more mauve.

Actually, It's desert rose.

Whitley, it's pink and it's positive.

What's this one supposed to do?

Whitley, it says "plus" or "minus," and it's a plus.

Okay, now this-

Whitley, they all say the same thing, "Mama, Mama, Mama!"

Whitley! Hey, baby.

- The trash! - Hurry up!

I want to tell him in my own time.

- Don't say a word. - I won't.

- Hey. - Hi, Dwayne.

Just taking out the garbage.

Why you make her take out the garbage, baby?

- She likes it. - Yeah.

- What's wrong, Dwayne? - Oh, man.

I'm� I'm sorry I snapped at you, sweetie.

Just� today started out to be the best day of my professional life

and turned into the worst day of my personal life.

- Wow. What a day. - Yeah. Kineshewa loved the idea.

They want me to propose it to the entire board tomorrow.

- That's great. - And then Ron starts tripping

about the computer program.

Instead of giving me my props, that little�

He had the nerve to claim that the baseball game was his idea.

- Well� - Well, nothing, Whitley!

I worked all night on that thing.

Ron doesn't have the brains to put that together.

- Good point. - If he's gonna trip like that, let him go.

I can't be stressed about it. I refuse to be stressed.

Breathe, Dwayne, breathe.

All you need to think about right now is your presentation.

You're right. I'm so glad I got you, baby.

I ever tell you how good you look in pink?

- Kimberly� - Hm?

�your smile is a mile wide tonight.

What's up?

I just found out that my best friend is bringing a new life into this world.

- Whitley? - Mm-hmm.

- No kidding. - Yeah. She hasn't told Dwayne yet.

- She's a little worried about money. - Oh.

That's the problem with Americans.

Everything has to be planned by the tick of the tock.

You see, my parents,

they had five children and no money.

But when my parents found out they were pregnant with me,

nothing but tears of joy could stream down my father's face.

- That's how I'll be with my wife. - Here we go again.

Don't pop your corn. No, you see,

I'm not going to ask you to marry me again.

- Really? - That's right.

My heart can no longer take the blows.

Oh, I'm� sorry to hear that, Spencer.

I mean, I've been really thinking a lot about us lately,

and being with Whitley today kind of made me realize how�

Well, why am I even saying it? You're not gonna propose to me, so why�

Stop teasing me. You know I'm a very sensitive man.

- Okay, I won't say a word. - All right.

So, what you're trying to say is that if I were to ask you to marry me tonight,

your answer might be different from the 20 times you said no?

I don't know. I mean, you haven't asked me tonight.

Sit down right here, woman.

Now, look in my eyes�

and tell me that you'll always love me.

I will always love you.

All right.

Now, look in my eyes

and tell me that you'll never make me cut my dreads.

I will never make you cut your dreads.

Now, look in my eyes�

and tell me, please tell me�

that you will marry me.

I can't wait all day, you know, woman.

I would love to marry you, Spencer Boyer.

No.

- Yes. - Yes! The woman love me!

Oh, God. I'm the happiest man in the world!

- Freddie, Freddie. - Freddie.

- Yes? - She said yes.

Great.

What's the question?

We're getting married.

You're getting married? Are you crazy?

Are you crazy?

Oh, my God!

Aren't you forgetting someone?

Babies, babies.

Dwayne, I'm gonna be a little grouchy for the next nine months.

No, that's too negative.

I'm with child.

Eh, too formal.

You knocked me up.

Hey, you lose your key again, man?

No, It's just stuck. I got it.

- Let me help you. - I said I got it.

Your back is broken, remember?

Whatever. Whatever.

Where's my key?

One of us is gonna have a baby. Can you guess who?

- Whitley? I got good news, baby. - Me, too.

I got good news. You should have seen me today.

- The bigwigs were there. I tore it up! - They liked you?

They loved the idea! I'm so pumped.

I went and played Grammar Boy right in the president's office.

I'm so pumped!

- Let's go play it right now. - Right now?

- Okay, the batter's a noun, right? - Right.

- Give me a noun. - I.

"I." That's good. The ball is a verb. Give me a verb.

- Am. - "Am." That's good. That's right.

Okay, now here's the tricky part.

- The adjective. - That's right, it's the type of spin

that the pitcher puts on the ball.

So pitch me that adjective. That last adjective.

Come on, any old adjective, baby.

Pregnant!

Put them together, what do you got? "I am pregnant."

What?

I am pregnant. Touchdown.

- My baby's gonna have a baby? - Mm-hmm.

Whitley, you've never looked more beautiful than you do right now.

- Oh. - I don't know what kind of mother I'll be.

You're gonna be a great mother. Come sit down. Slow.

Sit down. You'll be a great mother. I'll be there with you.

I was scared to tell you 'cause I didn't know how you'd feel

'cause we don't have any money.

Oh. Baby, that's my big news.

Kineshewa doesn't just want to buy my idea.

They offered me a full-time job starting at $80,000 a year.

Oh, you deserve it, Pookie! Now our child has a future.

Uh, but there's a catch, baby.

- Oh, one little, bitty catch. - One little, bitty catch.

We have to move to Tokyo.

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