Original subtitles

What did I say about coming to my class late?

You told him it was inconsiderate and disruptive to the rest of the class.

Thank you, Charmaine.

I'm sorry, this fly hottie just stopped me and asked for my digits.

That's more important than getting to my class on time?

Yeah.

Next time you're late, that door will be locked.

It's not like I ever miss anything.

I'm teaching you about respect and responsibility.

And I appreciate it, but I'm just here to get an "A."

You think you can solve this equation?

I was doing tougher problems in diapers.

And that was just last week.

And your mama's still begging to nurse me.

Hey, hey!

What did I just tell you about respect, Terrell?

We don't talk about people's mothers.

What if I said your mama got so much hair under her arm,

look like she got buckwheat in a headlock?

That'd be pretty good, Mr. Wayne.

If you did, I wouldn't sweat it.

I'd just say your mama's so dumb,

she thought a quarterback was her tax refund.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me ?

? Come what may ?

? Come what may ?

? I realize that I'm ready ?

? I'm ready ?

? 'Cause I finally heard them say ?

? I heard them say ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? Now, here's our chance to make it ?

? Here's our chance ?

? If we focus on our goal ?

? Focus on our goal ?

? If you dish it We can take it ?

? We can take it ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? That it's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from, yeah ?

How many times does he have to write that?

Fifty.

'Cause my dis was 50 times funnier than his.

Keep talking, you'll be writing an essay.

Come on man, this ain't third grade.

Terrell, as long as you act like that, that's how it will be.

I always wanted to say that.

So, what do you got planned for summer?

Oh, check this. Being that money is too tight to mention,

Whitley and I got a bunch of travel brochures.

Once a week, we're gonna pick a different one

and go on a mental vacation together.

- That's pathetic. You know that? - All I can afford.

Look, I thought you were applying

for that summer management position at Kineshewa.

Yeah, well, everybody and their mama probably sent in applications.

Everybody doesn't have your qualifications.

Careful, Colonel, he's touchy about mamas.

Hey.

Touch the board.

I thought about it, and I'm tired of being broke.

And I know it's killing Whitley.

I think I'd be tempted to roll with this job instead of coming back here.

I love watching the young bucks come up.

What is it now, Terrell?

I'm touched.

- Touch the board. - Write.

You wouldn't believe what happened today.

I assigned my students to write about their favorite role model

and little Iesha wrote about me.

Of course, it's because she said I'm not embarrassed

to wear the same blouse to work every single day of the week.

What's wrong, Pookie?

Nothing, baby.

Colonel Taylor thinks I should apply for this stupid job over at Kineshewa.

What stupid job?

A managerial position in the research and development division.

It means I'd be overseeing all the creation of all their computer games,

all their educational programs�

Dwayne, that is perfect for you. You should go for it.

But, baby, I don't know if I'm qualified.

What are you talking about? You got a 3.8 grade point average.

How many people do you know that have a full class load,

a full-time job, take care of a woman like me,

and still keep up a 3.8 grade point average?

There's no space for that on the application, baby.

Put on that application that you are a brilliant engineer.

Put on that application that you're my Dwayne Wayne.

Okay, that's what I'll put.

They're lucky to have you as a manager, okay?

Just as lucky as I am to have you as a husband.

That job belongs to you, Dwayne.

I believe in you.

It means we will spend our summer in Japan, sweetie.

I could make that sacrifice.

Did I ever tell you how sexy you are when you're supportive?

- I'm even sexier in a kimono. - Mm!

Come on. Write it down for me.

"Dwayne Wayne."

- Hey, Colonel. - How you doing, Colonel?

You know, you gonna need a house sitter this summer

to feed the plants and water the dog.

Other way around, Ron.

Hold it. Hold it. I don't have this job yet, people.

Come on, one look at your credentials, and you in like Flynn.

I still got an interview with the vice president.

If you really want to stand out, why don't you invite him over for dinner?

Colonel, why would the vice president want to come to my house?

'Cause that shows initiative.

That's a great idea, Dwayne.

Call him, Pookie.

What, from here?

Right. "Mr. Yoshida!"

No, use the pay phone.

He's so silly.

You talked me into it.

Brilliant engineer doesn't even know how to use the phone.

I love him, but sometimes, I'm telling you�

Hi, my name is Dwayne Wayne. I applied for-

Yeah, that's me.

They know him.

Is Mr. Yoshida there?

Can I speak to him?

Thank you.

They're putting him through.

Mr. Yoshida, yes.

Hi. Dwayne Wayne. Yes, sir.

Really? Thank you.

We're scheduled for an interview on Thursday,

I was wondering if you'd like to come by my house-

You're busy Thursday.

He's busy on Thursday.

Whitley�

- What is it? - Shut up!

You're free tomorrow. That's great.

Okay. Well, your secretary has my address.

Okay, sir. Bye-bye.

Well, he said he heard a lot about me and he knows who I am.

- Amen. - And he's looking forward to dinner.

It'll be the best dinner this man has ever had.

I'm gonna plan the menu and spruce up the house.

But first, I need to buy me a new dress.

Thanks for the support, baby.

My girl.

Go, baby, go, baby, go.

Baby!

You look beautiful!

But don't you think it's a little too much?

Of course not. It's traditional.

If you were Japanese.

Well, you're entertaining a Japanese businessman.

You should make him feel at home, Dwayne.

I don't want to offend him, Whit. You know?

I'm not gonna offend him.

Come on. You know how it is over there.

You lived there for, what, four months?

You were with that girl Kee-ka-coo-coo for two months.

- It's Kinu, baby. - Whatever.

Whatever? You don't hear me calling Byron "Benji", do you?

Besides, she didn't get me, you did.

Let's get back to the matters at hand, why don't we?

My mother has taught me very well how to have a beautiful dinner party,

and I studied all afternoon to be the perfect Japanese hostess.

Okay, wait. Hold on, Japanese hostess.

Why should you never stand your chopsticks in your rice?

'Cause it's an insult.

Oh, wait a minute. Very good, smarty-pants.

What do you do when Mr. Yoshida hugs you goodbye?

He's not gonna hug me, Dwayne,

because Japanese people don't like public displays of affection.

Mm, that means no groping me during dinner.

I'll try and refrain.

- Oh, arigato. - Douitashimashite.

My girl!

Baby, I really do want this.

- I know, Pookie. - Yeah, and I hate saying it out loud

because that means I really have to come through.

You will come through. You're gonna get this job.

I believe in you.

Hey, what did I tell you about being supportive, baby?

- Dwayne, not now. - We got 20 minutes.

- You're just nervous. - Yes, I'm nervous. I'm that too.

- Come on. - You're nasty too.

It took me two hours to get into this thing.

Oh, no.

- Come on, baby. - This is no way to start an interview.

The wife's supposed to open the door.

That's right, that's right.

Kinu.

- Hello Dwayne, Whitley. - Hey.

What brings you here?

Mr. Yoshida sends his regrets. He was unable to make it.

I'm taking his place.

You're working with Mr. Yoshida? Come on in. Come on.

Did I come at a bad time?

We're very happy to see you again, Kinu.

The feeling's mutual. I heard you two got married.

Yeah, we're married.

- Congratulations. - Happy, happy, happy.

That's my little Pookie.

- Can I get you a drink? - Yeah, ginger ale, please.

- Okay. - Coming righty up.

Thank you.

- Great to see you. It's been a long time. - It sure has.

I know this is a job interview, but don't I get a hug?

- Come here, girl. Of course you do. - Oh!

- Good to see you. - How have you been?

Here's a little something to cool you down, Kiki.

Thank you.

Well, how charming of you

to wear a traditional Japanese kimono in honor of this interview.

- You look absolutely adorable. - Danke sch�n.

Would you like to take a seat before the sushi gets cold?

Kinu. Dwayne, in the center, please.

Everything looks so good. I don't know where to begin.

Why don't we begin at the beginning.

What strange twist of fate

has brought you to us tonight, Miss Kinu?

Well, after graduating from Avery,

I took a job at the international division of Kineshewa.

I heard you were doing really well.

Yeah, I kind of scurried up that corporate ladder.

Like a rat.

Anyway, now I'm working for Mr. Yoshida, which is, of course, why I'm here.

So� my Dwayne will be working with you?

Oh, no, no. I'm being transferred to New York.

Lovely town. They're lucky to have you.

- Eel? - Oh, no. Thank you.

Anyway, rumor is you're a big-time corporate art buyer for E.H. Wright.

We're both on that fast track.

Whitley's a teacher now-

Oh, really? You know, I heard there was a shortage.

- No, she's doing fantastic- - Let me freshen your rice bowls.

Let me help you, babe.

While you're at it, could you bring me another chopstick?

Sure.

There's a shortage, huh?

There'll be a shortage of teeth in her face if she keeps saying that.

I know this is hard on you.

Don't state the obvious.

I didn't know this was gonna happen.

But we got to be professional.

Okay, I'll be there for you through the green tea ice cream.

After that, I can make no promises.

Who in Hades does she think she is,

drilling you like that?

It was an interview. She was interviewing me.

Yeah. Well, I know you think it went well,

but to me, it is obvious she's still very upset

that you broke up with her.

A year and a half ago. She's not that petty.

She's a woman. She's that petty.

Hey, I'm not going out like that, okay? I'm the right man for this.

I'll go to that office tomorrow, march in there, get that job,

come home to a slamming congratulations party,

and I'm gonna freak my wife. I'm gonna freak my wife.

That's what I'm gonna do.

Okay. Just be sure you invite Miss Kinu,

- 'cause I want her to see that. - Mm!

Hey. Come on in.

- How you doing? - Good. Good.

Um� Listen. Before we get started�

I just want to apologize-

Oh, no, no, I need to apologize.

I know I showed up without warning, but I just couldn't resist.

Anyway, it was very unprofessional of me.

And I hope you can both forgive me.

- It's forgotten. - Thank you.

- Kinu� Um� - Yeah?

I also want to apologize about how I left things two years ago when we broke up.

Oh, Dwayne, that's long forgotten.

Okay. Good. Now that we're past that�

�let me say I've worked for Kineshewa for three years.

And I'm one of Hillman's top graduate engineering students.

I have the drive and the vision to push Kineshewa into the future.

We know I'm the perfect man for this job.

I'm sorry, Dwayne, but, um, you're not.

Excuse me?

Dwayne, you are a great engineer,

but Mr. Yoshida hired someone else this morning.

Somebody else?

Two years ago they were begging me to work for them.

That was two years ago. Now there's a greater pool of qualified engineers.

I'm really sorry.

You know, I fought for you.

This has nothing to do with the fact that I chose Whitley over you, right?

Dwayne, the man we chose has a 4.0.

What's your GPA?

The man we chose speaks fluent Japanese.

He's also in the top 5% of his class,

he spent the last three summers working for us,

and he's designed a new program that we are currently implementing.

And just for the record, Dwayne,

I am very happily married.

When do the real snacks arrive?

When you leave.

You could've at least kicked down on some no-name dip.

Over by the mirror.

Hey, y'all call this a party or what?

How'd it go?

Just like I expected.

I knew it! I knew it!

Let's get this party started.

- Hey, congratulations, partner. - Thanks.

Maybe now you can buy some furniture for this shabby crib.

- Tired of getting splinters in my butt. - Get out of here.

When do I get to pack all the clothes I'm gonna buy?

- You don't, baby. - I don't?

I didn't get the job.

- What? - You didn't get the job?

No, hey, what's the matter? What's happening with the music?

It's that Kikulela.

- I told you, Kimberly. - No, no, Whitley.

Some other guy was more qualified.

More qualified? She was jealous.

Nah, man, it was the vindictive wrath of a woman scorned.

No. The guy was just better than me.

Listen, I'm sorry. The same thing happened to me with med schools.

Kim, it's all right.

It was my fault, man. I'm the one who told you to have dinner with him.

Can't argue with that, Colonel.

Don't worry about it.

What is this, a pity party? Black people.

We're having a party. Come on. Turn the music back on.

Grab some raisins. Come on. Hey!

Hey! Oh! Hey!

Listen, um, we have a lot of studying to do,

so we're gonna go.

I'm really sorry.

Boss man, better luck next time, hear?

But don't forget, patient man ride donkey, seen?

- Look, uh, Dwayne, Dwayne� - It's all right.

No, it's not all right. I'm gonna leave.

- I feel terrible. - No.

If there's anything I can do, a phone call or something�

I gotta go.

It's their loss, partner.

If you need me, and you need to talk,

- you know where to find me. - All right.

It's really no big deal.

Ron, put the raisins back.

And the olives.

And the peanuts.

You ever heard of a grocery store?

Cheap and stingy.

We was going. I told him we was�

- Come on, y'all. - We didn't know.

I'm so sorry, Dwayne.

I know how much you wanted that job.

It's no big deal, baby. It's no big deal.

So what exactly happened?

Well, nothing really happened.

Now we got the house to ourselves and this new dress,

what do you say we start that party?

Did she tell you why they didn't hire you?

It's not important. Come on, now.

- You gonna make me fly solo, girl? - Dwayne�

Whitley, just drop it! All right? Just drop it.

I said nothing happened.

Sorry. It's this little pesky cold I got.

I was on my way to school when I saw a baby bird on the sidewalk.

He had no wings, so I said I got superglue-

Terrell.

Damn. That was too easy.

Say we go from Hillman to Richmond

and it's approximately 50 miles.

If it takes us one hour from time T equals zero to time T equals one,

- you can apply Newton's method� - Excuse me.

I know, you're the professor, but that ain't right.

What's not right, Terrell?

You apply the mean value theorem.

You're right.

I'm sorry. So we, uh�

We apply the-

Why don't we take the rest of the day off.

Excuse me, Mr. Wayne. We're only 25 minutes into the class,

and my expensive tuition says I get a full 55.

Hey.

I thought you had a late class.

I didn't wanna miss the end of the cartoons.

How are you?

I'm fine. How are you?

Feel like talking?

Yeah, I'm talking. I'm fine, baby.

About the job.

I didn't get the job. End of story.

But we know why you didn't.

Why don't we just drop it?

Just drop it, okay?

Are you following me?

We know why you didn't get the job.

She's still angry.

She's taking her revenge out on me through you.

What do you want from me?

I want you to talk to me.

You're not listening to me. It wasn't about you.

It wasn't about her.

It was about me.

They got a new guy.

Some kid with a 4.0 GPA, some kid who speaks fluent Japanese.

They're using programs he implemented.

I just wasn't good enough, baby.

I can't take you to Japan for the summer,

I can't buy you a new couch and clothes.

I can't, I can't, I can't. All right? I just can't.

I don't care�

that much.

I do. Sweetie, if I gotta look at you in this pink blouse one more time,

I'm gonna kill somebody.

So, Dwayne, you just didn't get this job-

No, sweetie, I always get the job.

I always come through. I've always been the best.

Lately, I feel like� like I'm slipping.

Like I'm losing it.

I just wanna give you what you deserve, that's all.

I have what I want, Dwayne.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Look at the year that you've had.

Now, I know I'm petite, but�

you can lean on me.

You're not that petite, baby.

I got a big heart.

And a big butt. Oh! Oh!

- Don't talk about it. - Stop! That's mine.

I'll talk about it.

Sweetie�

I'm sorry.

I believe in you, Dwayne.

- Still? - Always.

Say it again.

The "believe" part, or the "always" part?

- "Believe in me" part. - I believe in you.

- Say it again. - I believe in you.

Kiss me.

- Say it again. - I believe in you.

- Say it again. Say it again. - I believe in you.

- I believe in you. - Oh, I love you.

All right, animals, listen up.

The minima and maxima

are always located at the critical points

and are denoted by "F" of- Terrell!

- How you doing, Mr. Wayne? - I'm fine.

My brother, can I rap with you for a second?

- Yeah, sure. - You did a really good job-

Hey, teacher's pet. My man.

You know, you did a really good job.

Oh, thank you. I'm glad to see you back too.

Speaking of which, what did I tell you would happen

the next time you came into my class late?

- You said a lot of things. - Buh-buh-buh.

Let me remind you. I said the door would be locked, remember?

No, no! See, I remember-

- I remember- - Think about it.

I get your point, Mr. Wayne.

Come on, I got a test today, Mr. Wayne.

This ain't right, Mr. Wayne.

Mr. Wayne.

Mr. Wayne, I got French- Mr. Wayne!

Mr. Wayne, I gave you an apple. Come on!

Gina, please.

Mr. Wayne, open the door!

Hey! Hey, y'all. This ain't funny.

Hey! Hey!

Don't! Don't! Hey!

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