Original subtitles

? I know my parents love me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? Come what may ?

? I realize that I'm ready ?

? I'm ready ?

? 'Cause I finally heard them say ?

? I heard them say ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? A different world ?

? Now, here's our chance to make it ?

? Here's our chance ?

? If we focus on our goal ?

? Focus on our goal ?

? If you dish it We can take it ?

? We can take it ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? That it's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from, yeah ?

Are you gonna ask me in or do you want my arms to drop off?

Mom, I didn't expect to see or hear from you until I was divorced.

Can't I change my mind?

Bobby Brown ain't the only one with a prerogative.

Besides, Chippy, I had a dream.

- Not another dream, Mama. - Yes, child, a dream.

You see, there was a baby chipmunk, and a mama chipmunk,

living in a cozy little hole in a tree.

So, one day, Mama Munk went out shopping for acorns.

Well, when she got back, Baby Munk was gone.

Up and followed a pack of she-wolves into�

into another forest.

Hello, Miss Thing. Hello, Mrs. Thing.

Hello.

Anyway, Mama Munk knew she had to find her baby before winter,

because if she didn't,

he would have been found frozen, shriveled up, hungry, maybe even dead.

So, you know what I did?

I got myself on a Greyhound bus.

- I know you did, Mama. Where's my father? - Somebody got to work.

And how are you doing, Mother Wayne?

Mother Wayne?

Mrs. Thing, I ain't running no convent.

- Ooh. That is a pretty dress. - You like it?

Looks expensive, too.

So does this apartment.

Whitley ain't just bringing home the bacon.

She's bringing home the whole hog now.

It is a thrill to see you again, Adelaide.

It hasn't been long enough for me either, Mona.

It is Marion.

- Marion. - I know.

- Chippy, which way to the kitchen? - Right in there.

No, no, I've just started marinating my bird.

My bird was already marinating.

Mine was already marinating!

Prima mama number two. Mrs. Wayne, what are you doing here?

- Hi to you, too, Ron. - Hi.

- I came to visit my son and feed him. - Oh.

Mm.

And who are you?

Meet Mrs. Gilbert's fianc�, Malik Velasquez.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Cucaracha to you, too, sunshine.

- Steam heat, honey. - Yes, darling.

My tigress, you're looking very good today.

- Thank you. How's my panther? - Very good.

We better get busy.

We got to roast this turkey.

Yes, indeedy, Edie.

Oh, my God. These two birds will never fit into that oven.

How true.

Chipmunk, take Mona's bird to the church and donate it.

What are you talking about?

This is a Virginia farm-fed turkey.

That's why it's got that little scrawny chest.

This is a double D cup, honey.

All right. Okay, Adelaide, we will not argue.

I will not haggle over something so petty.

We will make your Dolly Parton turkey, all right?

Ladies, this is a holiday.

The more bosoms, the better. No need to argue.

- Nobody's arguing. - Okay.

You go and make a fire in that expensive fireplace.

- I think- - I don't mean tomorrow.

- I'm going. - Right now.

Whitley, would you get the dough for my pumpkin tart out of the refrigerator?

Pumpkin tart?

Yes, indeed, with a hazelnut crust.

Deep-dish pumpkin pie with a Crisco crust.

That looks good.

Ooh, I know which one I'll be eating.

Neither one. Get out, Ron.

This is family.

All right, okay.

- I'll come back at chow time. - Maybe I should go, too.

- Yes. - Yes, and take Whitley with you.

- Okay. - I'm making the filling.

- No, no, darling. Go with Malik. - I always make the filling.

Get out of here.

What are you doing with that white bread?

Making the stuffing.

We already have the stuffing.

It's chestnuts with fresh oysters.

Look at that.

Honey, you put those things in here,

and this girl will come back to life and run away.

I want nice, spicy sausage, okay?

You can't use sausage.

Malik will not eat swine.

Since he's so fine, I'll leave out my spicy sausage

- if you leave out them uppity clams. - Fine.

- Good. - Now, perfect.

Mm-hm.

Sounds like they're doing all right in there.

You can lie for your mother, but you can't lie for your own wife.

You stuff one end, I'll stuff the other.

So, they invited you here?

No, I invited myself.

I wanted to see how your possum was treating my little princess.

I came to see how your little Olive Oyl was treating my chipmunk.

Have you noticed that he has her wearing bargain basement shoes?

Have you noticed that she ain't cooking, and he's hungry?

That's not possible. My Whitley is an excellent cook.

She ain't much of a homemaker.

But as they say, the apple never falls far from the tree, does it?

How true, how true.

One should never, never mix golden delicious apples

with common cooking apples.

I guess it's just like mixing oysters with dry bread.

- Please. - Ha!

What are you doing?

Making sure you don't sneak these suckers back in.

Good-bye, uppity clams.

Do you realize that those are a delicacy?

Do you realize that they're mush now?

Adelaide, I'm gonna kill you.

Oh, shucks, honey, I won't kill you, but I'll kill this pumpkin tart.

Don't you dare!

My pumpkin tart. You wanna know something?

There will be no white bread in Black people's turkey tonight.

Oh, honey, you know what we'll have? The whole sausage in this sucker.

I'll just put that in here.

Mom, stop.

- Stop it, Mom. - What are you doing?

You are crazy!

Will you get her out of my kitchen?

Can't we get along?

Why can't we get along?

This protest over the rights of Haitians is getting really big.

Just a bunch of bored students mouthing off.

We got a lot of poor, Black folk in America.

The Haitians fought beside the U.S. during the American Revolution.

I feel like marching with the Haitians.

Nobody's stopping you, Che Guevara.

What are you doing?

Yoo-hoo. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

I made some appetizers.

Oh, my goodness.

Cheese spread on soda crackers.

Adele, you must be exhausted.

- You know what, Mona? - What?

There's some cheese left in this can.

- I didn't get the back of your big head. - Mom!

The door. It must be a guest.

- Hi. - Hi. Hello.

Welcome to our happy home.

- You remember my mama. - Hi.

Oh. It's so wonderful to see you again, Christina.

- You remembered my name. - Yeah.

Hi, darlin', I'm Dwayne's mama. You met me at the graduation.

- Yes. - She's still got them pretty white teeth.

- Chippy, look at those teeth. - I see them.

Kimmie, I'd like for you to meet Malik, my mama's fianc�.

Damn!

I love that Maasai necklace. My God.

It brings out the purity of your features.

You bring to mind to me a famous Senghor poem.

"Naked woman, Black woman, garbed in your color, which is life."

I like you, yes. Oh, yes.

Malik, you recited the exact same poem to me.

- And it fits the both of you. - Oh, really?

And then on Halloween, when we uncovered the cadaver,

Spencer had put a dress on the cadaver.

You're funny.

No one tells a cadaver story like my Kimmie.

Yes, yes, dead people are so amusing.

There's something wrong with this world when a woman like yourself is single.

There's something wrong with a Thanksgiving celebration

without the proper libation.

Malik, why don't we go down and get some wine for dinner? Come.

- What, now? - Now.

- Right now? - Right now.

Your wish is my command. Okay.

Mama, you don't wanna go right now.

It's a mess out there with the parade and the protest.

And wine is fattening.

Darling, today is Thanksgiving. And never mind the calories.

Come, Malik.

- You gonna stay, right? - Yeah.

Okay. Ciao.

Oh, God!

This is even better than I expected.

Can you show a little more skin?

Just a little.

Why don't I take him in the back room and lift my dress over my head?

Could you?

Ooh. This smells good. Mom, where you going?

You ever heard of stuffing without sausage?

While Miss Thing Sr. is gone, I'll go get some.

I knew this coupon would come in handy.

Hey, no, Ma, Ma. Hey, Ma. Ma.

Smiling at that cadaver queen.

Laughing at everything she says no matter how dull.

Come on, I was just being friendly.

Yes, but you're supposed to be friendly to me.

I don't understand why you want to break them up.

I think Dwayne's a nice guy. I have a philosophical problem with this.

Did you have a philosophical problem accepting that $500 advance?

If you want to collect the balance, you'll have to play this part.

If Al Pacino didn't get my role in Scarface,

I wouldn't have to do this stupid gig.

Right now, you will have to play the Cuban-American gigolo.

You know what? I really don't.

What are you talking about? We made an agreement.

If you walk out, my whole plan is ruined.

That's your problem. I'm marching with the Haitians.

You can't do this. We have a deal! Where you going?

Please, please. Would you come back? Come back here.

�release. No justice means no peace.

You all singing, it's spiritual. It sounds beautiful and everything,

but it's annoying, so shut up!

Smart move. Too bad you couldn't stop these clowns from disrupting the parade.

We just destroyed a powerful symbol of oppression.

Ripping up the turkey float from Pepe's Poultry?

Deep. What are you gonna do for an encore?

Run Ronald McDonald out of town?

You're pushing me.

Unhand me, you barbarian.

- Hey, what are you doing? - I'm a hero.

I was on my way from the supermarket. These kids were trying to ruin a float.

I tried to stop them.

I was merely trying to have a conversation with this man,

when I was apprehended unfairly.

Look, Contessa, you're charged with ripping off

the arresting officer's badge and his bad toupee.

And you, miss, are charged with resisting arrest

and assaulting the officer with a frozen sausage roll?

It was a lie Ms. Thing, that thing was thawed.

You're both in a lot of trouble.

Your bail is very high. So, relax.

It's gonna be a long night, girls.

Oh, no.

Cute shoes.

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello? Hey, Ma, where are you?

- You in jail? - Jail?

Miss Thing Sr. and Malik, too?

How'd they end up in jail?

She said they- Okay, yeah.

They got caught up in the Haitian protest.

See?

You hit a man over the head with a sausage?

What did you hit a policeman with a sausage for?

How much is bail, Ma?

$500. $500 apiece!

So, that's $1,000 now.

No, no, okay, we got it. No, we're gonna get it.

No, I'll be down there as soon as I can, Ma.

I love you, too. You'll be all right. Bye.

Where are you gonna get $1,000?

I would do anything to get my mother out the penitentiary.

- Hey, baby, sell your mink coat. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

Almost anything.

There must be a way.

Officer, I demand to make another phone call.

I will not stay in here with these tramps.

- Mona. Listen child. - What?

If you don't want to get into trouble, shut up.

Why?

Because you don't know who's carrying a knife.

A knife? My God.

I will kill that Malik.

He's ruined my day, my life, my plan.

I paid that man!

Paid? Plan? What are you talking about?

Malik is an actor I hired

to show my daughter what it's like to see someone you love

with someone you're not overly fond of.

That is low.

Snakish, conniving, and downright deceitful.

You do have a brain under all that teased hair.

Yes, I do.

Officer, Winifred Brooks,

esquire of Dunham and Dunham, back street and plaid.

I'm here to ensure the release of my client, Shazza Zulu.

I know he was the leader of this protest,

but it was his intention it remain peaceful.

He didn't incite a revolt, so I demand that you free him immediately.

- Got 50 bucks? - Yeah.

- He's all yours. - Cool.

Winifred, dear.

Mrs. Wayne, Mrs. Gilbert?

What are you doing here?

- I was arrested in a protest. - All right.

What is taking Dwayne and Whitley so long to get the $1,000?

- $1,000? - Yes.

Well, I'd say Whitley's probably hocking that mink right about now.

Why would she hock her coat?

- Because they're flat broke. - Broke?

Yes, their place got robbed, Whitley got fired.

Miss Legal Eagles, sign this form if you wanna get your friend out.

Whitley fired? Oh, my heavens.

We have been lied to and deceived

by our own flesh and blood.

Hello. You know what?

I told my son if he married that woman,

she would bring him nothing but misery.

I told my daughter if she married that man that her life would be ruined.

And you were right, and so was I.

But you know what?

That doesn't make up for missing my only child's wedding.

That's right. But you know?

It was twice as bad being there.

Mona, please tell me about the ceremony.

The ceremony was lovely.

The garden was beautiful,

with crocuses and orchids everywhere.

- Skip the ambience. - Okay.

You owe your lawyer 50 bucks, but I'm sure she'll bill you.

My lawyer?

I posed as your lawyer to get you out of here.

- Pretty slick, huh? - Yeah.

- Hi. - Hi. Let's go.

I can't go, baby. I got to stay.

This is for the cause. The struggle, you know�

Haiti!

And Lena?

- Lena? What? - Yes. I'm not blind.

Wait! I don't believe you.

So I guess you're gonna say that you were hanging out

with one of your professors and not Ron, huh?

Ron, honey!

I mean, come on.

It's cool. It's cool.

I was just wondering when were you going to get around to telling me.

I'm sorry. It's this�

This Ron thing, it's not even happening.

You know what's wrong with us? It's law school.

It's not law school. You know what's wrong.

But I want to be with you.

Are you sure about that?

- Well- - No. I think you're confused

about which brother you want to be with,

and I'm not gonna wait around while you decide, okay?

Wait.

You were my first love.

I loved you, too.

Stay strong�

Stay Black. Stay in touch.

What is this, The Young and The Restless,

The Black, The Bold, and The Beautiful?

I don't know what it is,

but I got a turkey to cook, so get us out of here!

Freddie, help us out! Somebody!

Get us out!

And release Malik Velasquez, too, please.

Why is my mama's mouth taped? This is inhumane treatment.

If you had to listen to these two all night,

you would have taped their mouths, too.

Mama.

My mustache!

Sorry.

Oh, baby, now what are you�

Chipmunk, I got a whole skeleton to pick with you.

Take these things off of me.

Marion, it's been a pleasure. The check is in the mail, right?

Not another penny from me.

What check is in the mail? You paying him already?

Chipmunk, I never, ever thought you would lie to your mama. Never.

Tell me your wife just don't bring home the bacon,

she brings home the whole hog. Hogwash!

Why should I tell you?

So you can turn at me and say, "I told you so?"

That's one reason.

Why are you so hard on Whitley?

Because, son, I know what you need.

And it's not some little uppity, dainty princess who gets to the altar

and changes her mind right before the "I do's."

You see, Chipmunk, you're a first-round draft pick, not second choice.

Well, Ma, Whitley is my first-round pick, okay?

And look at me, Ma!

Whether you believe it or not, that's my wife.

Okay, but you just wait.

You wait till you have a child,

and that one and only child calls you collect�

- Look at me, Chippy, look at me! - Okay.

And says, "Hey, Ma, guess what? I just got hitched. See ya."

- It ain't so cute, Chippy. No. - Ma.

Ma, I would have apologized for that earlier,

but you kept hanging up on me, wouldn't accept my calls.

What am I supposed to do when every time I call, you hang up?

- Hang, hang up� - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Chipmunk!

- I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry. - It's okay, Ma.

- Just don't do it no more. - Never.

I can't believe you would pay somebody to play your fianc�.

What would that accomplish?

How else was I going to get you to understand how I was feeling?

You could have called me, talked to me instead of lying.

Lying? Yes, let's talk about lying, young lady.

There you stand, jobless and broke

and wearing yesterday's table cloth.

- They're drapes. - Drapes.

Whitley, I did not raise you to live like this.

I'll be damned if I see you end up in some two-bedroom flat,

married to some obscure chemistry professor.

He's an engineer, Mama.

Listen to me.

I have had a very empty life,

but I did one thing that was worthwhile.

I had you.

And I raised you to live like a princess.

Now can you actually tell me that you are happy

living in this little dinky apartment,

not knowing where your next designer dress is coming from?

Mama.

You and Daddy did raise me to think I was special,

because I had good looks, because I had lineage,

because we had fine antiques.

Well, I don't have any antiques now,

and nobody here cares where I descended from.

All I have is a man that loves me�

and that makes me feel like a princess.

Whitley, when you talk like that, I'm not even sure that you're my baby.

Because you're just going too fast for me.

You're taking me too fast.

I don't even understand you anymore.

And I want to�

but I just don't.

You have to please be patient with me.

You have to help me.

Okay, Mama. I'm sorry.

- I'll never hang up on you again. - Ma, it's okay.

Mama, it's okay. It's all right.

- I'm sorry, honey, I'm sorry. - That's all right, Ma.

Okay.

Hey, I don't know about y'all, but I am starving.

Looks like Ron had a good meal.

Well, he didn't clean up all the desserts.

Adele.

May I offer you one of my pumpkin tarts?

Mona, may I offer you some of my pumpkin pie?

I'd be delighted.

Mm. This looks good.

Mm.

Your skinny pie ain't half bad.

Mm.

This lard crispy thing is scrumptious.

Yeah.

Tell me something. What's in the whipped cream?

That's Grand Marnier liqueur.

Lu-who?

Liquor, baby, liquor.

Now that's better. Why didn't you just say so?

I was trying to pronounce it properly.

Not in Amerique, honey. I'll tell you what.

- Would you do me a favor? - What's that?

Give me the recipe to that skinny pie?

You can have anything in the world you want.

Marion. Happy Thanksgiving.

Adele, happy Thanksgiving.

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