Original subtitles

Have I told you how happy I am

with our new life together in our new home?

Oh, baby, I'm happy, too.

But tell the truth. Don't you miss Ron?

About as much as I miss your mother.

Hey, come here.

I do miss our furniture, though. When's that boy going to bring it?

Soon. I told him he's not getting paid till it's delivered.

Well, I'm gonna be late for this conference.

- I got to go, Pookie. - Hey. Whoa.

What's with this name tag? "Hello, my name is Whitley Gilbert?"

Whitley Gilbert is my professional name. Everybody knows me as Gilbert.

They'll have to start getting used to you as Wayne.

That's who you are now, right?

Whitley Wayne.

Doesn't really have a wing to it.

Well, then, why don't you just give me back that wedding wing?

? I know my parents love me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? Come what may ?

? I realize that I'm ready ?

? I'm ready ?

? 'Cause I finally heard them say ?

? I heard them say ?

- ? It's a different world ? ? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? A different world ?

? Now, here's our chance to make it ?

? Here's our chance ?

? If we focus on our goal ?

? Focus on our goal ?

? If you dish it We can take it ?

? We can take it ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? That it's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from, yeah ?

Four more.

Three more.

Two more.

And take it to the right.

Hey.

Hey, hey!

Are you aware of the time?

It's 5:48 a.m. I'm so glad you're a morning person, too.

It's not morning yet. Morning means sun.

Do you see any sun?

Have I disturbed you?

No, I was just laying here for eight hours.

I'm sorry. I just want this step routine to be perfect.

It is perfect.

Perfect for knuckleheads.

You're right.

It's more productive to drool on your pillow until 12 noon,

but to each her own.

Gina.

Shut up!

Wesley, don't.

Dwayne, does this look better here�

or over here in the dining room?

Oh, baby, you don't really want to hang that "Wish I was a Warhol," do you?

Nothing personal, nothing personal.

I'll have you know, this was given to me by an up-and-coming artist.

Great. Let's up and hang it in the garage.

Hey, somebody's mama's out on the front yard,

and doing some very uncomfortable-looking exercises.

No, that's our landlady, Desiree Porter.

She's a visiting professor.

Visiting from where, Neptune?

I'll have you know she's a very well-respected authority

on traumatic literature, Ron.

Hm. I respect anybody that can move like that.

She's pretty flexible for an old girl.

- Oh! My airplane! - Ooh. That is a thing of beauty.

- Yes. - It's a thing of tetanus.

Baby, this airplane is very special to me.

I made this when I was a freshman.

Took me all semester to drink this many beers.

Yeah, both of them.

Dwayne, I think�

Dwayne?

Dwayne, I think we need to pare down a bit.

Yeah, I guess we're a little crowded.

Okay, I'll tag all the things we don't need.

And then Ron can get rid of them.

For an additional fee, of course.

Of course.

Man, this love seat has seen some good old times, hasn't she?

Yeah.

If these pillows could talk.

You'd be in some deep trouble.

Oh, oh. Whoa, baby, what are you doing?

A public service.

Whitley, this couch is very special to me, okay?

Sentimental value.

Your first piece from the Salvation Army?

In case you forgot, it was the first time that me and you�

- Hey! I thought the first time- - Whoa! Hey!

You got to go, pal. I'll see you later.

All right, I'll come and pick up the rest of this stuff later.

That's cool. Thank you, Ron.

What did you tell that boy about the first time-

- Sweetie- - Nothing. He didn't tell me nothing.

Baby, wait, why do you want to get rid of my love seat?

Do the words "horrific eyesore" mean anything to you?

I just thought that my sofa has seen a bit less wear and tear.

But it's pink.

I don't think I can live with a pink couch.

Can you try?

I think you might be able to convince me a little more.

Here.

Hey, wait a second, hold it.

How come all my stuff is tagged for the furniture graveyard?

Don't be ridiculous, Dwayne.

What's mine is yours, and what's yours is gone.

Good morning.

I thought you were sleeping.

I've been up for quite a while.

I was just gonna make some hot�

cakes. Hot cakes.

Freddie, I didn't get much sleep last night.

I didn't either.

I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you.

- Good morning. - Kim! Hi!

Good morning, Kimmie. Hi.

Hey. So, how did you sleep?

Just beautiful, wonderful. I was peaceful. Great.

How could you possibly have a good night's sleep

on this couch?

It's really crowded in here.

This place is just� it's too small.

What?

Ah, the beauty of this morning is enhanced by the memory

of last night's trip to the motherland.

You know, it is a little crowded in here.

And always too early to wake up to the apostle of Negritude.

Forgive me, Kim, and excuse me.

Ron, don't you at least want some coffee?

Um� No, thanks. I'll call you.

You'll ca�

- Freddie, what is wrong with you? - What?

He clearly said he didn't want any coffee.

Listen, I know you don't like the man, but I expect you to be civil

just as I am to this llama.

Llama?

Did I stutter?

My sister, perhaps you would be exhibiting less hostility

if you invited your guest into your bedroom.

Wait a minute. Excuse me.

That is none of your business�

my king.

Damn, baby, maybe you need to meditate more

on what life would be like as a single woman.

I'm going back to bed.

What does Shazza do?

Excuse me, Kim.

He happens to be a�

uh, uh, a thinker and a visionary and a seer and he-

And a llama!

Whitley, please, you have to give up something.

Okay, Pookie, listen to this.

How about I take the Wayne name? Then can I keep some of my stuff?

You know what, you have a big problem baby.

- What's the problem? - You have a control problem.

No, no, all you wanna do is control-

Excuse me.

Maybe this isn't the right time to ask.

Then don't.

What do you want, Ron? What is it?

Well, I have to find my own place.

Ugh.

I didn't even ask yet.

Is it all right if I bunked on your sofa just for a couple of nights?

- What did you do to my Kimmie? - Nothing.

It's just not right for me to hang there anymore.

Yeah, you can stay with us till you find your own place.

He'll stay on my couch.

It'll be sitting on the curb.

Says who?

- Did we not decide that, Dwayne? - No. You know what?

All bets are off now, Whitley. Okay? All bets are off.

Okay, fine, honey.

I'll wash my hands of the whole thing.

You go through everything, pick out what you want.

And I'll just live with it, like a good little wife.

Fine.

Ron, get rid of this.

Get rid of that.

Please get rid of this.

If you have anything to say, you say it.

I'm tired of you and your manipulating

passive-aggressive martyr attitude, okay?

Thank you, Dr. Freud.

I'll take my severe psychological problems elsewhere.

Ooh.

Have a nice day.

You're treading on thin ice, buddy.

Take all her stuff and get rid of it. I don't care where it goes!

Just take all of her stuff�

Whoever you are, I applaud your sense of drama,

but it is wreaking havoc with my Lalique.

Ooh. Can I see the baby?

Lalique is a vase.

A very valuable vase, you� homeboy.

I'm Ron Johnson.

I'm sure you are.

I'm Desiree Porter, the landlady.

Oh. Would you know some place I could store all this?

May I suggest the town dump?

Oh! Go ahead!

? We are fly ?

? I am fly ?

? She is fly ?

? So don't even try ?

? I am fly ?

? He is fly ?

? They are real fly ?

? Don't even try ?

Just a minute. Hello!

Just a minute, people!

Now, this is why, traditionally,

stepping has not been a co-ed activity.

Now, from where I stand, there's too little stepping

and too much booty watching going on.

But Dean Davenport, being that Height Hall is a co-ed dorm,

a co-ed step team could only lead to the deeper exploration

of the relationship between the sisters and ourselves.

Well, thank you, Jesse.

Now, that is exactly what I'm afraid of.

Dean, we just doing the steps.

We just doing the steps.

Now, the guilty party knows exactly who she is.

I saw that.

Come on.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Yo, Lena, step on in.

Oh, I do not think so, not the way y'all look.

What's the matter with it?

Yeah, you missing out. Don't knock it till you try it.

She's tried it. Remember this?

? "L" to the "E" to the "N" to the "A" ?

? Step off, you ain't gettin' no play ?

Didn't you compete with that last year?

She sure-

I was a freshman.

Excuse me for maturing.

And that's not what I did.

Look and learn.

? "L" to the "E" to the "N" to the "A" ?

? Step off, you ain't gettin' no play ?

Right.

Girl, that was decent. Come on here and teach us that step.

Right now, I'm more worried about working on my writing

and my political activities

instead of sitting up here shaking my butt, talking about�

? I'm fly, we fly, you fly� ?

- Please. - Oh, excuse us, Sister Souljah, okay?

Word, Lena, word.

This is wack.

Our people need unity, not just some dance steps.

What are you talking about?

Stepping is about unity. It's one of our traditions.

It goes back to the South African boot dance. Mine workers used to do it.

Well, that may be true, but today, it's dorm against dorm,

fraternity against fraternity.

It divides us more than anything.

But does it have to?

Well, you know�

Tell him, Lena.

I got things to do.

Yeah, we got things to do.

Dwayne?

Dwayne?

Don't you hit me again.

- Where are you coming from? - The basement.

- Ron� - Hm?

Where did you put all my things?

Oh. Your landlady, the queen of royal weirdness,

told me I could store it down there.

Oh, it's still here. Thank you!

Ooh.

I can only imagine what you're like at a furniture warehouse.

Hey, bunny?

Silent partner. Hey, man, how you feeling?

- I'm just trying to find my wife. - Gotta go.

Yeah.

- Hi. - Hey, bunny.

- Listen, about this morning. - I hate when we fight.

- I love you. - I love you, too.

Oh, baby.

Hey, what's that phone doing here?

Hm?

I thought Ron got rid of this phone this morning.

Oh, well, he probably forgot. It's no big deal.

Anyway, we need another working phone in the house.

Yeah, I guess so.

Oh, I forgot. I have groceries in the car.

Let your big, strong husband get that for you, baby.

- Mandingo. - Mandingo.

Mandingo!

Hi.

- What are you doing? - Hm?

Where's my lamp?

This lamp wasn't here before.

That lamp has always been there, Dwayne.

This lamp, the phone, and this picture.

Where did you stash all this stuff?

I can't remember any other lamp.

Okay, you're lying and you're sneaky. You wanna be petty?

From now on, you use your stuff, I'll only use mine.

- That way it'll be separate but equal. - That is ridiculous!

Mr. And Mrs. Wayne.

There I was, on the front lawn�

walking Robeson, my Pomeranian,

when the poor darling was almost annihilated

by a flying object.

I discovered it was this.

I can only assume that the lamp decided to kill itself.

I bought the bed. I get the bedroom. You make other arrangements.

So, I bought the toothpaste,

Mr. Plaque Man.

I bought the toilet paper.

So you'll have to make other arrangements.

? Did you get it? ?

Professor Wayne, did you grade that test from this morning?

I can't wait to tape that "A" to my door.

The test was at 9:00, it's only noon, so I didn't get a chance.

I understand. Problems at home.

- Mr. Gaines. - Yes.

Married life should not be this hard.

Says who?

If one thing I've learned, it's all about compromise.

Velma gets what she wants, and I compromise.

Did Velma have problems taking your name?

Oh. She couldn't wait to be Mrs. Vernon Gaines.

That must have made you feel good, didn't it?

Yeah, but it probably had more to do with her maiden name.

Velma Mae Hogbone.

It's a wonder I married her.

But I'd do it all over again.

- Thanks, Mr. Gaines. - Yeah.

- Hogbone, huh? - Hogbone.

That's rough.

- Hey. Hey.

Oh, no, no, no, that's mine, thank you very much.

When I don't want somebody to read something,

I leave it on a public table.

- It's my poetry. - It's pretty good.

It's private.

What part did you like?

That line about 411 emergency, reconnect the community.

- That was good. - 911 maybe?

Yeah, whatever.

- Dorian would sound good saying that. - I know.

- Dorian? - Not that it matters to you,

you being mature and everything,

but Dorian took Terrell's place.

Getting back to your poetry, what good is it if nobody hears it?

What good is having a job if nobody sees you do it?

Now get to it.

You don't understand, Kimmie. Wait till it happens to you.

I have to give up everything, my style, my taste, my name.

- What is left? - Your foolish pride.

My foolish pride has gotten me plenty.

I can play that man like lotto, we all know it.

He'll come crawling back on his knees any minute.

I'll have him marching to my tune.

Hey, Whitley. Hey, Kim.

Hi.

Okay, all right.

You don't talk about my man, I won't talk about yours, okay?

- Case closed. - Fine.

- Okay. Let's not talk about it. - Okay.

Whitley, listen to me.

I'm not gonna spend another night like last night.

I can live without furniture, I can't live without you.

You're my wife, and I love you.

Let's go work this out.

Come on.

Bye.

Can you believe it? They doing it again.

I hear you. Hold up.

? 911 emergency ?

? Reconnect the community ?

? Our struggle cannot be waged Without African American unity ?

? No more tears to be shed ?

? No more marches to be led ?

? No more pity to be wrought ?

? Not more mercy to be sought ?

? Boot dance ?

Break it down.

? Unity for the community ?

? It's time to be of reality ?

? Unity for the community ?

? It's time to be of reality ?

Kick it out, y'all!

? 911 emergency ?

? Reconnect the community ?

? 911 emergency ?

? Reconnect the community ?

? 911 emergency ?

? Reconnect the community ?

? 911 emergency ?

? Reconnect the community ?

You were right, Dwayne.

We were happier when our apartment was empty.

Hey, it was never empty.

We were always there.

Yeah, we plus Ron.

Oh�

Thank you for your hospitality but I will impose upon you no longer.

It was no problem at all, Ron.

Can we get you a cab?

Can we drive you?

No, that's all right. I can walk.

Okay.

- This is cause for celebration. - Hey, hey, hey.

Don't celebrate too loudly.

My apartment is right underneath your bedroom.

Baby, you can keep the Warhol.

- And the phone. - And the phone.

- And the couch. - And the couch.

- And the lamp. - And the lamp.

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