Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it, hey ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it, hey ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Rise and shine, my little bride.

Time for Mother's special bride's breakfast.

Just enough sustenance

without producing that unsightly little tummy bulge.

Whitley, please, promise me today,

do not fall on that buffet at the reception.

Nothing terrifies a man more than the sight of his new bride

looking like Moby the whale.

- Here you go. - What day is it?

Well, it's only the most important day of your life.

And mine.

Here. Put these little cucumber slices on your eyes.

They reduce puffiness.

We cannot have you walking down the aisle looking like Mrs. Magoo.

Yes, I must be beautiful for� Byron.

Yes, we must be perfect today. Here, baby.

How is Mrs. Douglas?

Oh, Mama, she's so nice-

Oh, really? Don't talk with your mouth full, darling.

I'm sure she must be wonderful,

but anything is wonderful after those yahoos, the Waynes.

I learned a lot from those yahoos.

Really? What? How the other half shouldn't live?

Darling, you know, you should really feel very relieved

because you've done much better for yourself.

I mean, Byron is an entrepreneur. He's a senator. He's a businessman.

You are gonna make a wonderful First Lady.

Aren't you jumping the gun just a little bit, Mama?

I don't think so.

You know, Whitley, I have always believed that you are destined to live

a better and happier life than I've lived.

- Am I? - Oh, absolutely.

Here, darling, have a piece of toast.

- What is this? - I don't know.

Oh, Mama!

Oh!

I've had it for a little while now.

I bought it when you were three weeks old.

It suited you even then, Whitley.

Thank you, Mama.

Darling, I have waited so long for this day,

and finally, finally, it is here, Whitley.

Mama, Dwayne came to see me last night.

Uh, did you pick your garter for today?

Do you want the satin and lace or you want just the plain one?

Did you hear me, Mama?

I do not wish to discuss that lily-livered cad

who broke my baby's heart

and also ruined one of my better dinner parties.

The breakup wasn't all his fault, Mama.

Whitley Gilbert, today is your wedding day.

There should be only two men on your mind.

Byron, because you love him,

and your father, because he is paying.

Now, I do not want to hear another word

mentioned about that other individual. Is that clear, missy?

- Yes, Mama. - Good, darling.

Just think, darling, in a few hours,

we'll have the pleasure of the company of Monica,

your father's new bride,

and her silicone memorial chest.

Happy wedding day!

Ladies, ladies, ladies!

Please, you will give me a headache, which will cause me to frown

and drive me to an early face lift.

Morning, Aunt Marion.

Oh, Courtney, you look so adorable.

I, please. I wanted to apologize.

I wanted Whitley to select you as her matron of honor.

Relatives are meant to be taken for granted.

Aw!

Oh, Camilla, Camilla. Camilla!

- It's so good to see you again. - I'm sure it is.

But it's Kim. Kim.

Kim. I've never been good with names. I'm much better with faces.

I think yours has gotten a little thinner since I saw you last.

Ladies, breakfast is being served in the dining room.

Please eat slowly.

There will be no burpers in this wedding procession.

Hear, hear.

We will convene here at 11:15 to beautify ourselves.

Listen, Marion, I'm really psyched to be here.

Oh, yes, darling, maybe you want to come back earlier.

Whitley, remember, darling, cucumbers, cucumbers.

Come on, you can do this. We can do this.

Oh, man, I don't want to wear this.

- Hey, partner, are you ready? - Uh� I got some time.

Mmm-mmm. Not if you're riding with me, you don't.

I'm hoping to sneak a peak at the bride's maid of honor,

Kim "Good Googa-Mooga" Reese!

What one good woman will do.

- So you think you finally got her, man? - I don't know.

Maybe in a year or two or ten,

she and I will be ready to take that stroll to forever.

Well, you could do a lot worse, partner.

Well, let's get going.

Time and the wedding wait for no man.

Hey, partner, I don't, uh� I don't think I'mma go, man.

Oh. Are you sure? When I was talking to Kim the other day,

she told me she didn't think Whitley was over you.

Ron, I lost that fight a long time ago.

So, just take my gift for me.

Well, yeah, if I can tell them it's mine.

If anybody asks, tell them I got sick, all right?

Okay, I'll be right back after the ceremony.

Unless, of course, Kim invites me over to her place.

You'll be back.

Well, here they are, winter and spring.

- Greetings, Marion. - Oh, don't you look dapper, darling?

- How are you, Marion? - Oh, I'm splendid, Monica.

You look as scrumptious as a piece of pastry.

A tart.

Oh, let's put the gift away.

Marion, we missed you yesterday.

I'd like for you to meet my mother, Mrs. Douglas.

How do you do?

- Mercer, this is Whitley's father. - My mother.

- Glad to meet you. - Mrs. Douglas.

Call me Imogene.

Oh, it's so good to meet you!

Imogene, please don't crush my crepe de chine.

Oh! Ooh, I'm so sorry.

She's just as lovely as her daughter Whitley.

Oh. How kind and observant of you.

I am so pleased to meet you, Mrs. Douglas. Uh, this is my wife, Monica.

Oh, Byron, Byron, Byron�

if only I were 20 years younger.

But you're not.

Oh, Byron, how you doing? You ready for the main event?

Very much so. I'm an extremely lucky man.

Yes, you are. Let's all go in and greet our guests.

Monica, why don't you stay here, darling, and count the presents?

She can count, can't she, Mercer?

Honey, you interviewed the lady at least six times.

What kind of babysitter wears slingbacks?

You know what? I think I'm just gonna go on back home and check on the baby�

- Okay? - Oh, no, no.

Oh!

You look gorgeous, Mrs. Gilbert.

Better than Eunice Johnson did when her daughter got married.

Oh, thank you so much. Mr. Gaines, I'm so happy you could come.

- I almost didn't. - Why ever not?

Well, I heard someone else was catering the affair.

Hey, you know I've won prizes for my pig's feet and fried okra.

Well, perhaps�

perhaps you could cater my ex-husband's wife's sweet 16.

Oh, yeah.

Why don't you all just make yourselves comfortable?

- I'll see you right after the ceremony. - Thank you very much.

Honey, you even look better from the back.

Mmm-hmm.

What? I was just agreeing with you.

- Shazza! - Ah, Winnie-poo.

You know, honey, I got to say,

that even in the midst of all this capitalist excess,

this disgusting display of conspicuous consumption�

Yes.

�this exercise in bougie exhibitionism�

�it's beautiful to see you.

You too, my prince.

So, Troy, tell me, is your BMW a '92 or a '72?

- Frederica! - It's Winifred, Marion.

- Sorry. - It's okay.

And who are you?

I don't recall hiring a reggae band.

No, this is my soulmate, Shazza Zulu.

Oh, really? Oh. Now that I see the two of you together,

I realize how absolutely perfect you are for each other.

I have to say, though,

although I have a problem with your excessive lifestyle,

you look good!

Oh!

My, my, what a firm handshake you have.

A man's hands offer but a tiny inkling of his soul's strength.

Indeed, indeed.

Would you two mind sitting in the back row

so your crowning glory won't block anyone's view?

Reverend Soams, Reverend Soams. My favorite clergyman.

Sister Marion, my favorite parishioner.

You look too young to have a daughter getting married.

- Much too young. - Oh, Reverend, how you do go on.

Well, I certainly would like to.

Mrs. Gilbert.

- Oh, excuse me. - Oh, Ronald, Dwayne's roommate.

Tell me, where is he?

Well, he apologizes, but he's unable to attend.

Really? Well, what a shame.

Reverend?

Now, remember, we line up according to height.

As maid of honor, Kim,

you're responsible for taking Whitley's bouquet.

Courtney, I've got it.

I am merely trying to be of some help

to those unschooled in the ways of Miss Emily Post.

Well, you sound like Miss Emily sitting on a post.

She should be so lucky!

Well, pardon me for living.

Fire-breathing bride over here.

Man on the floor.

- Hi. - Get out!

- Hey, look at that. - What?

Hey, Kim.

What are you doing here?

I just came to sneak a peak and you look marvelous.

- You look okay too, Whitley. - Thank you, Ron.

Um, Dwayne was unable to attend.

He's feeling a little under the weather.

He sent his apologies, though, and, uh, I brought his gift.

How thoughtful of him.

- Maybe you should go, Ron. - Okay.

- Save me a dance. - Okay.

Bye-bye, dreamboat.

Hello, shipwreck.

Bye, dinghy.

You look beautiful, my sister.

Aw!

I, uh, came up to tell you how happy I am for you,

and, uh, in spite of our many philosophical differences,

I really admire you, Whitley.

- Thank you, Winifred. - You're welcome.

Is there a violin in the house?

- Whitley, Whitley, it's showtime. - Mama.

- How's my princess? - Fine, Daddy.

I am so proud of you.

I haven't done anything for you to be proud of.

Of course, you have.

You are marrying a man who can support you.

Right.

You have been a wonderful daughter.

Ladies, ladies. 20 minutes till curtain time.

Marion, it's a wedding, not Showtime at the Apollo.

Bridesmaids, please man your battle stations.

Oh, I'd like Kimmie to stay and help me please.

I would probably be of greater assistance.

I think not.

Darling�

You do realize that the next time I see you,

you will be Mrs. Byron Douglas.

- Yes, Mama. - Goodbye, my baby.

Girls, form a line.

- See you downstairs, sweetheart. Okay. - Bye, Papa.

- I love you. - Love you.

I didn't get a chance to give you this, uh, last night.

Oh.

It's something blue.

It's beautiful.

Well, I have my grandmother's earrings. They're old and borrowed.

And my mother's bracelet, that's something new.

And now your hankie, I have something blue.

So it looks like I'm ready, huh?

Thanks to me.

Can you believe this day has finally come?

No.

I mean who would have thought,

six months ago, when I broke up with Dwayne�

Who� who would have thought?

Well, I guess that's just what life is all about.

It's full of surprises.

That's why I feel so� nauseated.

But� but nothing a little seltzer won't cure.

Whitley, maybe you shouldn't�

Shouldn't what?

Maybe you shouldn't put too many pins in your veil.

Right.

With too many pins, one could stick me in my head.

That would be disastrous, wouldn't it?

Yeah.

- Can you help me put this on, Kimmie? - Oh, I'd love to.

Well�

Goodbye, Whitley Gilbert.

Mmm! Buns of steel.

I do love a man in a morning coat.

Control your hormones, Gina. It's a wedding.

Girl, weddings are about hormones and I am in the spirit.

You just stay out of my way when it's time to catch the bouquet.

You know, honey, maybe I should go call home

- before the wedding starts. - No. It's all right. Come on.

Go Kim!

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

in the sight of God and this company

to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

Well.

- Who's giving the bride away? - I do.

You may do so now.

But before I begin,

I� I just can't resist the urge to share a memory of the bride

whom I've known since I dipped her diminutive form

in the baptismal font.

Wake me when this is over.

Byron, Whitley has always been a woman who knew her own mind.

And with her as a wife,

ye shall never want.

Even as a small child,

she was an expert fundraiser at my church.

My baby.

At five, she was known to say, in a booming voice,

to those who put change in my collection plate,

"I don't want to hear the clank of quarters."

"Only the rustle of bills, and a check will do."

My baby! Yes!

And as her husband, Byron,

I trust that you will nurture her faith in miracles,

making the impossible happen.

That's Whitley's strength and her beauty.

She's so lovely!

Mama. Mama, Mama� It's okay.

We� we'll see you after the ceremony.

Matrimony is an honorable estate instituted by God,

and, therefore, should not be entered into unadvisedly or lightly,

but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly,

in the fear of God.

Mmm-hmm. That's it.

Into this holy estate,

these two persons present come now to be joined.

If there is any man who can show just cause

why they may not lawfully be joined together,

let him now speak or forever hold their peace.

Well, say something. What are you doing?

Byron�

will thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife?

To live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?

Will thou love her,

comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health,

and forsaking all others,

keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live?

I will.

Whitley�

will thou have this man to be thy wedded husband?

To live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?

Will thou love him, comfort him,

honor and keep him in sickness and in health,

forsaking all others keep thee only unto him

so long as ye both shall live?

Whitley?

Huh?

Baby, this is your cue to say, "I will."

Whitley, what's wrong?

Baby, speak up.

Whitley� you all right?

Why ain't she talking?

Go on, Reverend, go on.

I can't until she responds.

Well, she means "yes."

Well, she's got to say "yes."

I will.

Will you?

Blessed are those who ask the questions, brother.

Whitley, I love you, and if you'll have me, I want you to be my wife.

What are you doing?

I'm sorry, Byron! I love her.

- Die! Just die! - Let him go, man!

Will you have me, Dwayne, as your lawfully wedded husband

from this day forth

to have and to hold, in richer, for poorer?

Baby, please! Please!

I do.

Wait, wait! You all heard it. You heard it.

She said an, "I do."

- But to whom? - Well, um�

- I� I'm sorry, Byron. - No.

Whitley!

Is anybody getting married here today?

Oh, hey, hey, hold it! Right there. Thank you, Mr. Gaines.

Yes, we're getting married. I'm Dwayne.

By the powers vested in me,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Go and do it, boy.

Wait! Wait!

What is going on here?

- Hi, Ma. - "Hi, Ma"?

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