Original subtitles

Whitley, uh, open the door.

It's Byron. What am I going to do?

Tell brother to come in. We got grits for three. Come on.

- No. - Whitley.

Want me to get it?

Dwayne, take this rob off.

Ooh, nothing like the naked truth.

I don't want a scene, Dwayne, please.

If you have any heart, let me handle this.

Please?

Whitley, please open the door.

Let me just talk to you, just for one minute.

Un momento.

Whitley, come on.

You know, it's not that bad. Whitley.

I'm coming.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm going to wait until you open the door.

- Byron. - Hi. How are you?

Listen, uh, I, I, these are for you, and I'm really sorry.

I guess all this is because you saw the paper.

The paper.

Yeah, the paper.

Yeah. Oh.

You're very photogenic.

So is she.

Now, she is my old girlfriend.

She's a lobbyist for TransAfrica.

And we just ran into each other at the fundraiser.

Ran into each other and got stuck.

No, no.

They just snapped a picture of us while we were dancing.

I understand.

It doesn't sound like you do.

No, really, I do.

I-I understand.

What's one night?

A dance or two�

You are�

radiant in the morning.

I'm not even dressed.

I, I don't mind.

- Busy morning. - Yeah.

Are you Whitley Gilbert,

as in dorm director, as in my Hillman hostess,

as in hello, class of 1996?

I'm Charmaine Taisha Brown, and that's my boyfriend.

Ooh, Lance Rodman. Delighted.

Be delighted, but don't stare.

But you people aren't due until� today.

How wonderful.

Well, I, I see you have your hands full.

I'll talk to you, uh, later.

Thank you for my flowers.

- You're welcome. - Okay.

I sure wish you was my host. You look so hospitable.

Lance.

Um, can you tell me where I can find my host?

A guy named Dwayne Wayne?

Yo.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Dwayne, this is Charmaine and Lance.

Charmaine. Lance.

Uh, you remember when we signed up for Hillman Hosts of the Week?

Way back when. Yeah.

Byron had to go.

Oh, life of a politician, you know.

They come, they go, they're in, they're out.

By the way, I couldn't fix that drain.

Drain?

Come on, Lance.

Maybe you ought to get a new plumber.

- Catch you around the campus, baby. - If I don't catch you first.

So�

As your Hillman hostess for the weekend,

it's my duty to show you an educational time.

Well, I'm learning a lot already.

What do you want to do first?

Well, first, I'd like to visit each department

and set up appointments with the professors,

especially the famous ones.

And then visit every single dormitory to see what suits my needs,

although this looks nice.

How's the water pressure?

Did I hear something about a drain problem?

Hi, Whitley. I'm sorry. When you have a moment,

I need to speak to you about last night.

One moment please.

Kimberly, I've gotta talk to you.

Can you get this girl off my hands for a few hours?

I got some business I gotta attend to. It's personal.

No, I have a childbirth class at the clinic.

Oh, sister, speaking of childbirth,

Shazza and I had the most cosmic experience.

Oh, ladies, we just came back

from this spiritual retreat for couples and individuals,

and individuals who want to be couples.

We learned the importance of one basic,

essential, fundamental, indispensable reality.

- Mmm-hmm. - Truth.

Oh, speak, daddy.

Every time we tell the truth, we give birth to ourselves.

There you go.

- Freddie. - Mmm-hmm?

- Brainstorm. Yeah. - I love it.

Why don't you take little Charmaine around campus today?

She's a prospective freshman.

- Uh, how do you feel about that? - Huh?

Well, truthfully,

- on this particular subject matter� - Mmm-hmm.

�I can't be bothered.

Ah, I see you giving birth. I love it.

I don't mean to be rude, but�

you going to leave me with her?

You're changing. You're growing.

I got to get the admissions office to take a chance on Lance.

Now, to that end, I have several dozen copies

of an impressive letter of recommendation from Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable.

Letter or no letter, that waiting list is tough to crack.

Not for Lance Rodman, baby. I got me a secret weapon.

What? A clip-on power tie?

Absolutely, yes, and my magnetic personality.

Oh, speaking of which, here comes my roommate, Ron Johnson.

A man who put party in animal.

Ladies and gentlemen, the star of our show.

You're born,

you waste time,

and then you die.

Thanks for nothing.

I guess he grows on you, huh?

Yeah, I think so.

Where can I change, B?

Oh, right in there, in my room.

What's the matter with you?

My date last night with Kim.

I've seen cremations that were less final.

And where did you spend the night?

You not gon' believe this, Ron,

but last night, against my better judgment,

- I took your advice and went to Whitley's. - Right.

- She said some mean things. - Right.

- I said some mean things. - Right.

Then we slept together.

- Wrong! - No.

It felt right, that's the problem.

And then Byron showed up.

You know, it's good to know

that someone is more screwed up than myself.

You know, I know how I feel,

but I don't know if I like feeling this way, man.

Feeling what?

Her pointy little heels digging in my heart.

Why would I do that again?

Come on, now, you know why.

Oh, don't make me say it, Ron.

You can't even admit it to yourself.

Come on, it's the "L" word.

"L," "L," "L."

I still� love Whitley.

Damn! Damn!

Wait a minute, what's wrong with that?

People go their whole lives trying to find someone to love,

and here we are acting like it's a curse.

"We"? What, are you talking French now?

What I'm saying is� maybe we ought to go for it.

I don't know about you but 50 years from now,

I don't want to be looking at your ugly mug

across from some bingo card.

Peace, money.

Allow me to introduce you to a dazzling, electrifying new face

coming soon to a campus near you, me.

Is this the preview for the coming attraction

or the cartoon before the movie?

Ooh. Neither, baby.

I'm the best picture of the year.

Lance Rodman, class of 1996.

Lena James, '95.

Oh, that's okay. I like older women.

Ooh-hu, well, we have a lot in common, see, because I like older men.

Oh, that language lab was fierce. Oh, I love those headphones.

Je m'appelle Charmaine.

Ich heisse Charmaine.

Me llamo Charmaine.

In any language, I'm beautiful.

Yes, you are.

I need some coffee.

Lance!

Baby! Hey!

Baby, meet Lena, class of 1995.

Lena, this is my-

Uh, girlfriend, right?

- Yes. - Thought so.

Baby. Hey, Charmaine.

Listen, things are sometimes not what they seem to be.

Well, you seem to be talking to yourself.

Kim, I've got to talk to you-

No. For once it is my turn to vent.

My date last night.

I don't know what I expected,

but I felt like a rest stop on the Ron Johnson tour of booty.

You ran into one of his old flames, huh?

Whitley, it was back draft.

He took me to Y-Vetta's Soul Food Kitchen.

Mmm-mm-mm. Mmm-mm.

Yes, he did.

I don't think there was a woman there he hadn't been with, including Y-Vetta.

- But she's� - I know.

I mean, how can I respect someone

whose idea of commitment is staying for breakfast?

I mean, how can people sleep together so casually

without considering the consequences?

So, what do you want to talk to me about?

I'll talk to you later.

- It's no big deal. - Okay.

Hi.

Well� Hi.

I'm glad you're here, Whitley. We need to talk.

Yes.

Last night was very�

disturbing.

Disturbing?

Yes, with me and Byron and everything.

I-I just don't know what to say.

Uh, you don't have to say anything, I guess we both know what it was.

It was just one night.

Is that what it was?

Come on, Whitley, we never had any problems in the bedroom.

It was the other rooms we couldn't handle.

Well, at least we know where we stand.

I think we've known for a while.

In the middle of a national health crisis,

and look at what these hospitals are charging.

State price for aspirin is one-and-a-half cents.

Hospital charges, $5.

That's a markup of 3,000%.

Hospital workers eke it out on salary cutbacks,

and these $100,000-a-year administrators

say they can't get blood from a turnip!

I'm sorry.

I just, uh� I get, uh, fed up.

So�

Anything happen while I was gone?

What have you guys been up to?

- Nothing at all. - Nah, nothing.

As matter of fact, I was just getting ready to leave.

I have a lot of data to go over, and if you could stay, it would help.

I'll buy pizza and I'll tell you all about the conference.

That's sweet, but, you know, I have that house guest.

- Right. - So I'm going to have to run.

- Okay. - Okay. Good night.

I'll stay.

Okay, Dwayne, um�

What� What's up?

Okay, health care statistics, fiscal year 1989.

How about February 1992?

You and Whitley.

It's obvious.

Yeah, it is.

I mean, when two people have going what you guys have got going,

it's hard to miss.

Byron, what happened last night came out of nowhere.

It's going nowhere. It's history, so don't sweat it.

Last night?

You didn't know.

No.

No, you, uh�

You just told me.

Why don't we, uh�

go over all of this�

tomorrow?

Sure.

Listen, I know Whitley very well, and�

she's much better with you than she is with me.

You bring out the best in her, and she deserves that.

Oh, Brad.

Bad day, huh?

No, bad night.

I can't wait till this baby is born.

Ah, it's been too long since I've been through all this.

How do I deal with her mood swings?

You remember. It's easy.

- She swings, you duck. - Mmm-hmm.

Well, I still can't get used to the idea of being there.

- Being where? - In the delivery room.

Oh, Velma was pregnant with Darnell for nine-and-a-half months.

He was born during a heat wave.

She was in labor for 36 hours.

Oh, everything came out all right, didn't it?

- Colonel Taylor? - Yeah?

Lance Rodman, young, gifted, and wait-listed.

Now, behold the glow from this letter of recommendation.

Now, before you read it,

I want to tell you I'm not one of them people

- asking what Hillman can do for me. - Yeah.

I ask you what I can do for Hillman.

Mmm-hmm, yeah, well, you paraphrase Kennedy very well.

- Yeah, I just saw the movie JFK. - Uh-huh.

From what I remember, he didn't have much to say in that movie.

Uh, I see. You think this letter of recommendation

and your sparkling personality is just going to catapult you

off that waiting list, don't you?

Well, sir, Dwayne told me

that you had some influence with the board of admissions.

Dwayne, huh?

Son, let's finish this conversation in my office, okay?

I'd be delighted.

Oh, that's what you think.

Oh, Ron, you are looking at a woman on a mission.

You're looking at a man on a mission. I have to talk to Kim.

Wait. I want us to get past our petty differences.

There is something I want to share with you, brother.

And it's right here from the old ticker, my heart.

Oh�

I don't like you, Ron. I never have.

You're a greasy worm with the charm of a cockroach. Whoo!

Ah! Giving birth, giving birth! Ah!

Oh, man, telling the truth is so freeing,

and it's so forgiving, because I forgive myself

for not telling you this years ago.

Ron.

Oh, you don't have some deep truth you want to share with me, do you?

No, do you?

Well, yes, I do.

Sit down, Kim.

You think I'm a low form of life,

and you're not the only one that shares that opinion.

- Ron, listen- - Hey, hold on.

Let, let the cockroach speak.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that actions speak louder than words.

From this day forward, I want you to watch mine.

It may take a week, it may take a month�

I hope it don't take much longer than that,

but mark my words,

one day, you're going to believe in Ron Johnson.

One day.

Get you a real dog.

He'd be more loyal.

And then I visited-

Uh-huh, yes, let's make a long story short

and say that you had a great time on campus today.

But then I visited Gilbert Hall.

That have anything to do with you?

My granddaddy.

Ooh, royalty!

You didn't even have to tell me.

I saw your shoes.

I need some coffee.

See you later, Your Highness.

Oh, that looks interesting.

Mmm-hmm. Very interesting.

Uh, so, what's your major?

Undecided.

Oh, I see, you like to keep your options open.

So, do you have a boyfriend or you keep your options open?

I mean, after spending a year in college,

you will realize better ways of spending time

than worrying about keeping a man. Believe that.

Well, you did not have to be so blunt about it.

Honey, we promised to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

But I thought that you loved me for my earthiness.

I do. The Epilady was just a suggestion, baby!

Wait a minute!

Lance, what happened?

Colonel Taylor said I need to improve my non-verbal skills.

Well, do you have any?

No.

Whitley, you got to hear the latest Ron Johnson update.

This man was in�

Are you okay?

I made my bed, and I must lie in it.

Alone.

I guess it's for the best.

What are you talking about?

Oh, Kimberly�

If these walls could talk�

Ho, you and Byron?

Me and Dwayne.

I'm going out this door and come back in again.

No need. The story remains the same.

Girl meets boy. Girl gets engaged. Girl loses boy.

Girl meets man. Girl sleeps with boy.

You slept with Dwayne?

What did I just say?

Of course it didn't mean anything to him.

To him, it was just a night.

Well, what about Byron, have you told him?

Not in so many words.

Not in any words.

Are you and Dwayne really over?

Byron is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Kimberly.

I� I love what he's done, where he's going.

I like who I am with him.

As far as Dwayne is concerned, that ship has sailed and sunk.

Not if you can't tell Byron about it.

Why?

We're not even an official couple yet.

Whitley, if you can't tell him,

maybe last night meant more than you think.

Such pearls of wisdom

from one who pines over that swine Ron Johnson.

At least I got it narrowed down to one.

But has he?

Oh! Oh! Uh�

Yeah.

I didn't mean it. I didn't�

Hi, Byron.

Hi.

I called you at home.

I didn't know you'd be working so late.

I can take a break.

Good. I'd like to talk to you if I could.

Okay.

Maybe�

Yeah�

Um, I never told you this before, but�

Dwayne and I used to be more than friends.

And?

We used to be a little bit engaged.

A little bit?

For about five-something months.

Then we broke up during the engagement party.

But�

The, the point is�

I slept with him.

Recently.

As in last night.

I didn't want to hide anything from you.

The point is�

Do you love him?

Dwayne and I are not meant to be.

That's not what I asked you.

I did love him, and now I don't anymore.

Last night never should have happened. It was a big mistake.

You know, you didn't have to tell me this.

- Uh, I'm glad that you did. - Well�

- Now you hate me? - Yes.

No. I'm kidding. No, no.

I just don't want the past to interfere with the future.

Neither do I, Senator.

What was her name again?

Oh, Cynthia.

Well, Miss Cynthia, this is the last dance.

I'm cutting in.

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