Original subtitles

You went to dinner with another woman?

Yes.

But�

�nothing happened, Whitley.

So why are you telling me?

Because I wanted to be honest.

That is the worst excuse I've ever heard.

Oh, bunny, that's the truth.

Don't call me bunny!

And you better not have taken that tramp anywhere better than Mickey D's or HoJo's.

Whitley, she's not a tramp.

Now you're defending her.

She's a graduate student studying molecular biology.

You're dumping me for some egghead?

No, I'm not dumping you, Whitley.

So, you're not attracted to her.

That's not the point.

- Whitley� - Yes, it is.

Wait, Whitley. Whitley, wait a minute.

Lately I've been feeling trapped.

Well, do you want to call this engagement party off, Dwayne?

- Maybe I should call Mama right now. - Hello, lovebirds.

Save the call.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ?Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Oh, Dwayne, you look so� Look at him, Whitley.

Doesn't he grow more handsome by the minute?

Yes, he does change by every waking minute.

Now let me see this ring.

Yes!

Oh!

Oh, what a lovely little beginning, Dwayne.

Mama, Dwayne and I were on our way out when you were coming in.

We have to discuss-

No, no, no. Have you forgotten

you are the guest of honor at an engagement party tomorrow?

Yes, we'll be there.

We have a million things we have to do.

I have to get a dress. Your father's coming.

I have nothing to wear. Dwayne, do be a dear.

My luggage is outside on the curb.

Would you bring it in, please? Thank you.

Whitley�

Watch out. Coming through.

Twenty pounds of fresh catfish.

- Get out of here! - Oh, yeah.

Your folks is here with much grub for tomorrow night.

You'd think Luther Vandross, Nell Carter and Heavy D was coming to dinner.

Hey, Ron.

I told Whitley about Lisa.

Oh!

- What is the matter? Watch out! - You stupid, stupid, stupid!

- Hello, son. - Hey, Pop.

- Hey, where's Mom? - How you doin'?

- She's coming, but I got to warn you. - Oh, man. Mmm.

- It was a long ride from Brooklyn. - Oh, no.

- Chipmunk! - There's my mama.

- Mmm. - Oh, son!

I don't mean to be negative now.

I got this awful feeling about the stuff that's about to happen.

Oh, yes, I do, way deep down in my bones.

- You see, son, I had a dream. - Come on, Adele. Not again.

Have you not already told the toll booth attendant?

Spare the boy.

It was a beautiful day.

And there was this big, fancy wedding reception in a garden.

And in this garden was a chipmunk.

Oh, Ma, come on with the chipmunk stories.

If I'm lying, I'm flying. Son of Lord knows.

You don't see no wings, do you?

- Anyway- - Let's not have the extended version.

Would you just chill out, Woodchuck, and just let me tell my story?

Well, the chipmunk was in the garden,

and he was running and running around the buffet table.

Just running and running and running.

And all of a sudden, the table crashed down.

- Ooh. - And the chipmunk, he tried to run.

He was a fast, little critter.

But you know what happened?

Uh, he got smushed?

Like a pancake! And I don't want to tell you what did it.

Oh, but you will.

- The bride figurine� - Ooh.

�from the top of the cake.

Well, that was my dream. I got nothin' else to say.

- Yeah, for now. - Mom, admit it.

You don't like Whitley, and you never have.

- Honey, did I say anything about her? - Oh, come on.

I wasn't even thinking about her. She's a precious little thing.

Here, eat your cobbler

and stay regular for Mama.

Just a little bit sugar.

- Yeah. What? - Mom. Mom, listen to me.

I'm engaged to Whitley, okay?

- We'll see. - What?

Please. Look, come on, we got a lot of things to do today.

That's right.

Get ready to meet Miss Thing Senior.

Why would you threaten to bust Dwayne about Lisa?

I didn't, he busted himself.

Do you want Dwayne and Whitley to have a marriage based on a lie?

- That's the American way! - What?

Besides, when are you women gonna learn to let sleeping dogs lie?

When you dogs stop lying.

What are you talking about?

Whitley, the woman of the hour. The bride-to-be.

Evaporate, Ron.

Well, I see this is the happy corner.

I'll just be leaving. And, Kim, please don't wake the dog.

Kim�

it's over.

What is?

My life, my relationship.

Dwayne�

is seein' another woman.

I said Dwayne, my Dwayne,

is seeing another woman.

- How do you know? - He told me.

Well, that's no reason to panic.

Well, what if she's prettier than me?

What if she's taller, like her?

Or like that dumpling by the register?

He always did like women with big ol' butts.

Whitley, infidelity isn't always about the other person.

Maybe it's a sign there's a problem in the relationship.

You mean something's wrong with me?

- No, I'm not- - You're damn right, there isn't.

I'm classy, I'm generous, I'm� I'm kind,

and� And many other things.

I gave up the high life for that boy.

He's lucky to have me.

I� I know he is, but he's been under a lot of pressure lately.

Oh, you act like I've just been sitting around

painting my toenails, popping bonbons.

No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying-

He will never find anyone else like me, Kim.

Never ever.

That bushwhacking swine.

He probably has found someone better than me.

A D-cup that can expound on the theory of relativity.

Come on. Don't think about the other woman�

Who isn't really the other woman, okay?

- What if it's her? - It's not her, okay?

How do you know?

I had these made up just to break the ice.

Aren't they fun?

- "Kiss me, I'm your in-law"? Yes.

Thank you.

Good evening.

Oh, Mabelle!

I feel as though I know you already.

It's Adele.

Nice meeting you too.

Oh, forgive me.

If the brain were made up of memory cells only,

I would be brainless.

Like mother, like daughter, I see.

Mrs. Gilbert, it's a pleasure.

Oh, Mon Dieu, Dwayne.

You never told me you had such a charming,

handsome, suave father.

Well, Whitley never warned me about you either.

- I must say, you� - No, you mustn't.

I'm glad that we're all here.

Here we all are together.

Yes. Whitley, s'il vous pla�t.

Let's all come over here and put on our buttons.

- Buttons? - Yes.

- I'll put on yours, Mr. Wayne. - Oh, well, thank you.

"Kiss me, I'm your in-law"?

Yeah.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

Oh, put it on. It's fun.

I don't think so. We ain't related yet.

Oh, what surprise do you have for us in all these boxes?

- The food, dear. - Yeah.

We got a load of catfish in the car. Adele's gonna cook it at over The Pit.

That is most unnecessary.

I am having this affair catered by Caroline Sidlow.

Here is the menu, my dear.

Oh.

I wanted to serve food that they didn't have to look up in a dictionary.

I did not plan to serve dinner. After all, it's a cocktail party.

Folks always want to grub. And look.

I bought good paper plates too. The good kind.

See that?

Well, Adelaide,

- let's not haggle over the menu. - Adelaide?

We have bigger fish to fry.

Mmm-hmm. Catfish.

Now I intend to turn this entire lobby into the Garden of Eden.

You mean that Chipmunk and Whitley are supposed to come out here naked?

That's a very creative idea, Mrs. Gilbert.

- Oh. - The garden, I mean, yeah.

Thank you.

Why don't you call me Marion? All my friends do.

Let's get started with the flower arrangements, thank you.

All right. I'll go get my flowers and my shears.

- If� If you all will excuse me, please. - Whitley. Whitley.

- Whitley, please. - What?

- Forget everything I said earlier. - Forget?

Well, there are too many people here right now.

I just want a chance to talk to you and we can work it all out, okay?

- Okay? - Come on, son, shake a leg.

We gotta get this fish over to Mr. Gaines.

Here we are.

All right, ladies. We'll be right back, so have a nice, friendly time.

Nice and friendly, Ma.

Mmm-hmm. Bye.

Daisies?

Yes, daisies.

- Nice, aren't they? - Oh, Adele, Adele, Adele.

Would you please very soon give me your guest list for the wedding?

And when things are less hectic,

you and I must discuss some very mundane details.

- What mundane details? - Oh, you know,

things like the prenuptial agreement.

Oh, that's right. My Chipmunk will need one of those, won't he?

Adele, you are a card.

I'm as serious as a heart attack.

Well, we would put a clause in there

that will protect your Dwayne's beanbag chair.

Well, he might not have the money now,

but he sure do have what it takes to make it.

Now, your child,

- that's another story. - Are you insinuating

that my child lacks brainpower?

Well, I don't see her name on any electrical inventions.

Madam, you go too far.

Who are you calling madam, Mrs. Thing?

Whom are you calling "Mrs. Thing"?

Youm, that's whom,

with your size six body and your size six brain to match.

That's what I'm talking about.

- Hmm. - Well, then, you must be a genius.

Well, you got that right.

And I have someone cuddling up to all of this genius every night.

All you have is attitude!

Acting like you're doing us a favor by marrying into our family.

Give me a break, girl.

Well, I think we're all doing you a favor.

Ooh, you better take that back.

You don't want me to turn ugly in here.

That requires absolutely no effort on my part.

I bet there are no mirrors left uncracked at your house.

Adele!

That's a Casa Blanca lily. That's $20 a stem!

Oh, Marion, I'm so sorry.

Now it's $10.

No, not those flowers!

Not the hanging� No!

What is going on here?

Ladies!

What is going on?

Um, um�

We were just trying to decide where to hang the garland.

- Adele? - Hmm?

I think you've done enough decorating for today.

I didn't do anything!

Say good night, Adele.

Good night.

Oh, good night, Elsie!

That woman's personality is worse than her hairdo.

- Mama? - Yes?

What did you say to her?

I didn't say anything. I broke my nail.

You know, I don't think I could stand to be related to that woman.

Well, it's not your choice.

Well, then thank heavens I had the forethought

to ask for a prenuptial agreement.

How could you?

What do you mean, how could I?

Do you realize that in the beginning, your father promised me the moon,

but in the end, it was the judge that gave it to me.

That's your life, Mama.

But, darling, it happens to the best of us.

Believe me.

You think you know them.

Then you wake up one morning, you're lying next to a stranger.

And you don't even know what you did wrong.

Did you have to cut down the woman's flowers?

Well, she was doing the same thing,

but, of course, you didn't see her and her little puny behind.

Mom. Mom, please. I have to be related to this woman.

Not if I can help it.

Well, you don't!

So for Dwayne's sake, you're going to apologize.

It must be Ripple in that cup.

It's a struggle, son.

Till death do you part.

And we usually go first.

Pop, I don't know if I'm up to this challenge.

You havin' a case of cold feet?

They're frozen.

Well, that's normal.

Terror is a big part of marriage.

Amen.

It seems like the closer we get to it, the more scared I get.

- Well, join the club. - Join the club.

I had my doubts standing in that vestibule

when they started playing that "Wedding March."

Now, I love Velma,

but I'm not sure that I want to be married to her.

Did you reach a point where you just knew it was right?

Yeah.

When I saw her standing there in that white dress,

and on our honeymoon.

I haven't looked back since.

Yeah, but I'm still attracted to other women.

Son, you're engaged. You ain't dead.

No, Dad. I'm really attracted.

You mean there's somebody else?

Well, no.

Well, sort of. Maybe. It's�

Either there is or there ain't.

I haven't done anything yet.

I just met this woman who reminds me of the things

I may be missing with Whitley.

Son, nobody's perfect.

You just have to decide what you can live with and what you can live without.

Only you know.

Mmm-hmm. I think the only one of God's creatures meant to mate for life

is the humpback whale.

And even he don't look too happy.

Congratulations, Whitley.

Yeah, you must be so excited.

Yes, Miss Lena.

Someday I wish you the same happiness I'm experiencing now.

Whitley.

I'm sorry, we can't stay too long, but I just want you to know

that your commitment is solid gold!

Shazza!

Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart,

don't you think you ought to come up for air?

Well, you know, honey, I am eating for two now.

Yeah, but two what?

Whitley.

- Whitley, how do I look? - Oh, my.

Did Mrs. Wayne and her broom land yet?

Be nice, Mama. It's a party.

Do you think I should go in and change into the velvet?

Daddy will think you look beautiful.

I did not dress for your father.

That woman's collard greens gave me a headache.

- I'll get aspirin. - Thank you.

Daddy!

Princess! Oh, you look beautiful.

And I'm so very happy, Daddy. So happy.

Mother.

Mother, you know Daddy.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Marion, you're as stunning as ever.

Where's your little bride?

Monica came down with a sudden case of the flu at the last moment.

What a shame, and you ran out of baby aspirin.

Marion, I came here for Whitley's sake.

Let's not turn this into Beirut.

All right. Let's not relive history.

Your distinguished in-laws have just arrived.

I bet she's saying something wicked about us.

Unlike you.

Mother, I am begging you, please behave yourself.

Adele, I'm warning you.

You mess up this party and you snore alone.

Oh, my goodness.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the two prettiest mothers

this side of the Mason-Dixon.

Daddy, have you met Mrs. Wayne?

- Ooh. - Mrs. Wayne, I am charmed.

Just call me Adele. All of my friends do.

Whitley, I see where you get your beauty from�

Your father.

Woodson Wayne, here.

Adele's husband.

Mr. Wayne, you're so eloquent. Why don't you make the first toast?

Well, I'd be happy to.

May I have your attention, please?

I'd like to propose a toast to my future daughter-in-law.

I'd like to say something too.

No.

Whitley,

you're what every father dreams of for his son.

Adele and I both wish you all the best.

I'd like to add to that.

- Chipmunk. - Hmm.

You're my only child.

I know whatever you do in life, you'll do it well,

because you're a good man, just like your daddy,

and I love you very much.

- Don't forget Whitley. - What?

- Whitley! - Whitley too.

Giving away a daughter is a time of mixed emotions for a father.

In fact, it's painful.

So is taking her.

But that pain is eased by the knowledge

that my future son-in-law will love and protect my princess.

I know I speak for Marion too when I say

welcome to the family, Dwayne.

Thank you.

To Dwayne and Whitley.

Hear! Hear!

Speech!

Dwayne?

Oh. Bunny, I don't know what to say.

Okay� Um�

It's so nice to look out and see all of you here tonight.

All of the people that I love, and�

And all the people that love me,

and those who aren't quite sure how they feel about me.

I'd like to thank you all for coming tonight, but I'm�

not gonna be getting married.

- What? - What?

- What did she say? - Whitley.

Whitley, can we talk about this?

There's nothing to talk about.

There was a decision to be made and you couldn't make it.

But I still love you.

Whitley, sometimes, I feel like this is going way too fast for me.

But my father says everybody has doubts.

Doubts, Dwayne. Not dates.

- I'm not enough for you. - No, that's not true.

Sometimes, you're too much.

I want to be your one and only, Dwayne.

Are you ready for that?

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