Original subtitles

Oh.

Good morning.

Oh.

Anybody want any coffee? I'm gonna make some.

It's decaf.

The lips I love to kiss.

Yeah, those and 200 others.

Good morrow, Y-Vette, my pet.

My favo-rette! Whoo!

Ron, a different girl every week? Out all hours at night, not enough sleep.

How long can you keep this up?

As long as this finely-tuned machinery�

holds up.

No, no, no, man. You cannot live like that anymore. No.

- Why not? - Because you're killing me!

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ?Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

So, Kim, how you like working in the emergency room?

Oh, the fun never stops.

Last night, this little boy came in with five raisins stuck up his nose.

- Thanks for sharing.

I did that once with lima beans.

I don't believe it.

No, honestly, I stuck a bunch of beans up my nose.

Freddie, stop.

I'm talking about that sponge mop, Shazza Zulu.

Your boy who wrote that book

and who called Kim out in front of the whole school

about dating your cousin Matthew.

- He was cute for a white boy. - Girls, girls, girls.

Feast your eyes on table number six.

Brother number one.

Where, oh, where did he come from?

Hell.

So, my fledgling scholars,

my excursion to the motherland served as a catalyst or impetus, if you will,

for my educational/cultural corporation that I'm setting up here at the school.

Oh!

What are you doing here, Shaka Zoozoo?

Shazza. Shazza.

I've returned to educate my people, brother Gaines.

Well, good. You can do that because it took you six years to graduate.

As I was saying�

Just look at Mr. Ego Trip.

His whole attitude is saying, "I know you want some."

Mmm-mmm.

Freddie!

I� I� I think that the five months

that Shazza spent in Africa had a real impact on him.

I mean, come on, Kim. He was treated as an outcast,

practically regarded as a white man.

Yeah, he is kinda light.

- Because he was an American, Gina. - Oh.

And as a result, Shazza concluded that we don't necessarily have to go to Africa

to appreciate our culture,

but we should celebrate the rich tradition we've established right here in America.

You seem to be quite the Shazza encyclopedia.

Well, we had a brief conversation in passing. Whew.

Hey, Freddie, how's it going?

- Fine. - All right.

All right.

How is it going, Freddie?

Oh, leave her alone, Kim. She doesn't have to hold your grudge.

- If she's my friend, she will. - Oh, girl, you just�

Where were you this afternoon?

Um� Uh, Suds Galore, doing laundry.

Dwayne, you were supposed to come to my art exhibit.

With dirty drawers, baby?

I'm not going to argue with you now, Dwayne.

I haven't seen you all week.

I just want you to come over and talk about this engagement party.

Whitley, now?

My mother will be here Friday.

Friday!

Okay, um�

Ron and I are helping our neighbors move.

At 11:00 p.m.?

There's less traffic in the hallways, baby.

But we're still on for that Hillman-Avery grad student mixer tomorrow, right?

Yes, but I don't think we should stay too long.

We really have a lot to talk about.

We have to coordinate our outfits for our engagement party.

Do you want me to wear a dress, Whitley?

The party has been changed from 4:30 to 6:00.

If any of your guests come early, mama will have my hide.

Okay, baby, I love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?

Love you. Good night, sweetie.

Good night.

By the way, whose furniture are you moving?

There's no furniture, Ron.

Uh-oh. Lying to the Mrs. What's up?

Whitley is wearing me out.

We should all be so fortunate.

All she ever does is talk about this wedding.

The engagement party, the guest list�

Man, what ever happened to just dating?

Partner, I'm afraid you ended all that when you asked your girl to marry you.

By combining historical films written by you

with cultural seminars conducted by me,

we can re-educate and elevate the consciousness

of all African-Americans.

The entire country.

Yeah. Them too.

I mean, this is such an incredible undertaking.

Requiring the unique yet diverse contribution

of an intelligent, benevolent, munificent young woman

not much unlike yourself.

I have the project and you, Winifred Brooks, have the passion.

Yes, I do.

Of course,

our mission will require many long, hard, exhaustible hours

alongside one another.

Of course�

I mean, I'm there.

You are incredible. I mean, not many people give it up so freely.

Charity's my middle name.

Okay. Well, then, our quest begins tomorrow.

Until then, sweet charity.

Everything's confirmed that needs to be confirmed.

I've checked everything that needs to be checked.

I've lost those three extra pounds. Mama will be here on Friday.

Everything's set.

Everything's ready.

Whitley, you don't smoke.

I need that for my nerves, Kimberly.

You don't seem to understand.

My parents are gonna see each other for the first time since the divorce.

It will be a disaster.

No, everything will be calm. Everything will be all right.

Just stay with me on this one, okay?

You're late.

Hello to you, too.

Good luck.

Hey, baby, you look good.

Maybe a little too good for a faculty-student gathering.

I had to wear this lovely ensemble somewhere.

You only take me to Burger Hut.

Wow! Is it nag time already, Whitley?

I'm sorry, Dwayne.

But our parents will be here on Friday!

Look at this.

I'm sorry. I'm just not myself.

Oh, yes, you are. It's okay, though, baby.

It's all right. Everything will be okay. Just relax.

Yes, everything will be just fine.

- There. - We're going to go out�

Yeah.

Easy, baby. Easy, easy, easy.

We're just going to go out and�

Have a good time!

Are you wearing dungarees?

Mama hates dungarees. Please don't wear them around her.

But I was going to wear a loincloth.

I hope it's burgundy.

That's her favorite color.

And I spent nearly two years developing this alternative fuel source.

Then I ran my compound through the spectrophotometer.

Only to realize its spectrum was that of CH3-CH2-OH.

Oh, no.

She didn't do an OH.

Just look at 'em.

A bunch of eggheads feeding off each other.

Careful, now.

One of those eggheads is my husband.

Once you rediscovered ethyl alcohol�

what did you do?

I did the only thing I could do.

I put that sucker in a punch bowl and threw the last party.

I don't know, Jaleesa.

I don't think this is for me.

Be honest.

Being a faculty wife is not the life.

I'll have to admit Brad's math jokes are just a little bit tired.

Especially that one about the nuns and the square root of the hypotenuse.

Oh, girl, that one's embarrassing.

He trots it out at every one of these functions.

But, nevertheless, relationships are about compromise.

- Give and take. - Hmm.

Seems like I'm always giving.

Excuse us.

Pookie, I'm ready to go.

We have a lot to talk about, and when my parents get here,

we won't have any time to be alone and play footsies.

Oh, baby, there's gonna be plenty of time for that.

I am tired of hanging around this parade of pocket protectors.

Oh, wait a minute now,

this is no more boring than those artsy-fartsy things you drag me to.

And it's important for me to mingle with other faculty and students.

You just don't care, Dwayne.

You don't care about your own engagement party.

Do you wake up whining, Whitley?

Not when I've been treated right the night before.

- My blouse! - I'm sorry.

- It's ruined for life! - I'll buy a new one.

It's not the same, Dwayne!

You're not helpful at all.

You are totally insensitive to my pre-nuptial needs.

Whitley, Whitley�

Whitley! Whitley!

Whit� Whit�

- Hey! Hey, baby. - Hey.

You look a little unnerved there, Dwayne.

Oh, just a case of the Whitleys. Everything's fine.

No, no, no.

- Look, look, look at it this way. - Huh.

At least she's not pregnant.

Brad!

Bring food, honey.

Coming, my darling.

Coming, my love. Mmm-hmm.

Whitley, Whitley, Whitley. I don't know about�

Oh, damn, Dwayne!

I'm sorry. Look, I'm really sorry.

- It was an accident. - It's all right.

Really, if you just�

It's okay. Really.

Just let me� I'll pay for it.

I got my wallet. I'll buy you�

Listen. Calm down.

That's not necessary, really.

I know you're sorry.

I'm sure it will come out, hopefully.

Um, what did you say your name was again?

Well, I didn't but it's, uh� It's Lisa.

Lisa Westin.

Lisa.

And Lisa was so mellow. Just like me. I liked that.

But how many women have what Whitley has?

- Pow! Ping! Pop! You know. - Aw, come on!

Wait a minute. Lisa got some pow, ping, pop going on.

But that's not what it was about.

She was a breath of fresh air. We just clicked.

But you've already clicked with Whitley.

Besides, what you two have is destiny like Romeo and Juliet.

They both died, Ron.

But they died together.

You see, I don't know if I'm ready for together just yet.

Marriage is forever, for life, and Whitley is so damn needy.

I love a needy woman.

What do you do if you can't fill her needs, huh?

I ain't never had that problem.

Not those needs.

Listen to me.

Lisa and I, we sat together and we talked for hours.

The next thing you know, I was having fun with this woman,

just fun, you know?

Think of all the fun you have with Whitley.

She is fine and she cooks with�

Well, she's very fine, man.

She's the finest sister I ever saw.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, and she loves me to death.

Then what's the problem?

Is there anything wrong with having friends?

You know, a little stimulation? Some coffee, maybe?

Brother, don't do it. I don't think I can take it.

See, that's what I'm talking about. You want me to stay in it for you.

With Whitley, it's all about her. What about me?

Okay. If Lisa's on your agenda,

just remember the three Ds.

Darkness, discretion and denial.

And commit these alibis to memory.

Number nine, it's a sure winner. It's a sure winner.

Ron, I'm going to call Lisa up.

Well then, take my discount card to the come-as-you-are motel.

Lisa's not the kind of woman you take to some motel.

Well, then take somebody else!

Get out of here with this card.

At Avery, I'm not getting through to anybody.

I am one of three women and I'm the only sister.

I don't know which is the bigger experiment.

I had a� I had a really good time.

Me too.

You know� My roommate says that I shouldn't have gone out with you.

Yeah, well, you do have a girlfriend.

So why are we here?

Because I find you attractive.

And you invited me, remember?

That's right. I'm guilty as charged.

Listen, there is no rule that says men and women can't be friends.

None that I know of.

And if men and women were friendlier, we'd all have

a better insight into the opposite sex.

Or maybe just each other.

Hmm.

How would your fianc� feel about that?

- I hadn't given that much thought. - Maybe you should.

I'm sure she's wondering where you are, who you're with,

and why you're with that person.

She offered to buy me a beeper.

If I were her�

so would I.

Then this chef stabbed the other one in the back

with a meat thermometer.

And Dr. Johnson's notation on the chart was,

"Turn and baste every two hours."

Yes! Either this game is too easy or I'm simply too good.

What's your sign? I'll read your horoscope.

No, no, no, no, honey. I'm a highly spiritual person. Mmm-mmm.

Pastor tells me that dealing with horoscopes

is dabbling in the occult. Mmm-mmm.

Oh, I see.

How can you sit here and cheat yourself in solitaire,

then say a horoscope is against your religion?

- Don't hate me because you're a heathen. - I'm a heathen?

I had such a wonderful time tonight.

Yeah, me too.

I've never met a man who cares so much about his people.

Well, it's about supply and demand.

I mean, the more I supply, the more they demand.

Dig it.

It's kismet.

My horoscope told me today I would meet a man meant for great things.

Girl, I'm a Gemini. Read me that horoscope.

Not now. Not now.

Ooh, girl.

Girl!

Girl, who needs a gym when you can work, whoo�

- when you can work out like that? - I know, I know, my sisters.

- He is beautiful. - Yes, he is.

But it is much deep, deep, deeper than the physical, okay?

Tonight we shared teriyaki tofu over candlelight, handle it.

And then we walked barefoot along the beach reciting African proverbs

and recycling along the way.

He's so romantic.

You mean so cheap.

Gina, Shazza and I are beyond the material.

He didn't mind you wearing that dress?

We happen to be twin souls.

He is the yang to my yin, the ego to my id.

He could be the black eyes to your peas,

but when Kim finds out, she's going to trip.

- Kim. Kim! - Yeah.

You promise me that you won't say a word.

Now, you know I can keep a secret.

Gina, your picture is in the Hillman directory

under "campus information."

- One of my better photos, I might add. - See how you are?

Yo, Freddie, don't worry about it.

What's the worst that could happen if she found out?

- Kimmie, Kimmie! Hey, girl! - Hey, girl!

Is that a new coat? You look great. You look good.

- What's up? - Kim, what's wrong?

I got a lot on my mind. Just thinking.

Oh, Kim, you know, you can always talk to us.

That's right.

Okay.

What would you do

if you saw your girlfriend's boyfriend with another woman

who you knew that boyfriend shouldn't be with?

- I'd bust the hoe. - See.

Oh, no, no, no, honey. Lie through your teeth.

Was it my man?

Gina, look�

Seriously, though,

the last thing a woman wants to know is that she's being played like Lotto.

- All right. - That's it.

Besides, a woman is more likely to accuse you than believe you.

That's the truth. Even if she wants to know,

- would she want to hear it from you? - There it is.

- Why should I stick my neck out? - That's what I'm saying.

I don't believe this!

Excuse me, my sisters. Listen to yourselves.

You have to always tell the truth even if it means losing a friend.

Honesty is always, without a doubt,

always, in any situation, the best and only policy.

Really?

- Well, hypothetically. - That's what I thought.

- Depends on the situation. - We know.

So, in the final analysis,

was the funky little date worth the heartache?

Whitley doesn't know.

- But I hurt. - Shut up.

Um, Ron, could you excuse us for a minute?

Oh.

I was hoping to get a private session with you later.

Yeah, well, hope springs eternal.

Me too.

So, Dwayne.

How's your eggs?

- Fine. Scrambled hard like I like them. - Hmm.

I stopped by The Mirage last night.

Alibi number nine.

So, what were you doing there, man?

I was minding my business, Kim.

Hey, she is just a friend.

You know I had to say something, right?

It's not every day you see your friend's fianc�

holding hands with another woman. I'm just looking out for Whitley.

Well, I can respect that.

So, um, does Whitley know about this friendship?

She was there the night we met.

I repeat, does she know about this friendship?

Look, Kim, Whitley has been my world for the last year, okay? But�

I've given this relationship my all.

I don't know what else to do. I'm tapped out.

Be honest.

Yeah.

- Whitley won't hear it from me, okay? - I appreciate that, Kim.

All right, all right.

The lies, the deceit, they're giving me bad karma.

- Brace yourself, my sister. - Braced.

Shazza and I have been seeing each other regularly for the past three days.

That's nice, Freddie.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Love will kick you in the butt soon enough.

Pookie!

I'm so happy to see you!

I'm sorry about the way I acted over that silly, albeit $250 blouse.

And I forgive you.

- Do you forgive me? - I forgive you.

- And I forgive you. - And I forgive you.

- Let's go make up. - Well�

Whoa, whoa! Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Come on over here.

Ooh, kinky!

We need to talk.

Let's talk after we make up.

Oh, Whitley, we could, but we won't, sweetie.

So� Oh, gosh.

Last night�

I missed you.

I missed you, too, but last night�

Did you get a lot of studying done?

Whoo! It's hot in here.

Thank you.

Sweetie, I don't know why I'm telling you any of this

because it probably doesn't mean anything

which is why I'm not sure why I'm saying it, but�

Oh, my Pookie has such problems expressing himself.

Sweetie, when you keep cutting me off, it gets no easier.

Sit down. Please. You sit there.

- I'm gonna sit here. - Okay.

- I'm as quiet as a church mouse. - Okay.

- Zip up my lips, throw away the key. - Okay, okay, okay.

- You just talk to me. - Okay.

Come on, come on, come on.

Whitley, please.

I want to know your every innermost thought.

Last night I went out with another woman.

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