Original subtitles

He's a famous athlete.

He has no business grabbing women's booties.

I think them booties kind of danced over and found his hand, baby.

Oh, so you think women like being manhandled?

No, but if Denzel Washington walked into this club,

you'd be showing more wares than an appliance salesman.

I respect him as an actor.

I bet you slept with his picture.

I was fully clothed at the time.

Uh, excuse me. I'm doing a little survey.

Are you here for the band or the ambience?

Dwayne is Ron's best friend or else we'd be looking at Ricochet.

See. It's all about naked Denzel holding a gun, right?

Naked Denzel holding a gun.

All right, that's it. Y'all fired.

Fired? Why?

Ask all your fans.

How would you like to go to the moon�

Bravo!

- Encore! - Do it up, man! Play some more.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember ?

? That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

I have never been so humiliated. Fired in front of my audience.

Ron, there were four people there, one of them was in margaritaville.

People just can't appreciate good music played by real musicians.

Well, you need to get you a girl up there.

No. I have a clean act.

- No strippers in my show. - No.

I'm not talking about a stripper.

I'm talking about a sister in a tight dress.

Pow, poom, wailing. You know, singing.

Then Larry might give X-Pression the gig back.

No. No vocalist in my band. I am a pure musician.

I want to take sound and funk to new dimensions.

You will. It's called the unemployment line.

A good morning workout really gets my blood going.

Oh, God! Oh, Lord.

- Hello, linoleum. - Brad?

Why are you on my floor?

I ain't serving no Japanese food.

I got a little leg cramp, Vern.

Mr. Gaines, we went for a five-mile run,

and all of a sudden, Brad came to a dead stop.

It's called catching a second wind, Jaleesa. That's all.

Now, I'll be right back out there in a moment.

Yeah, I'll be right back with a car.

Oh! Vern, they told me life begins at 40,

but it took me seven years to find out that they lied.

Brad, a few cramps and a frisky wife don't make you an old man.

Oh, man, I got one foot in the Nike and the other foot in the grave.

Oh, nonsense.

I got menus older than you.

- Now, pick your spirits up. - Ah! Stop it!

Jaleesa is planning you a surprise party this week.

Oh, my goodness. I did it again. I did it again.

Miles would never have done this.

God rest his soul.

Ron, I'm so sorry you got fired.

My dream was to start at the bottom and work my way to the top.

I just got fired from the bottom. And I know I'm going to lose my band.

Not if you get yourself a singer� Pow, poom, pow�

- Oh, that's a wonderful idea, Pookie. - Yeah. Okay?

And there's your songbird.

Kim? Nah, she got PMS.

Ron!

Whitley, premed syndrome.

She's always too busy, got something to do. She'll never do it.

You just let me handle this.

- Oh, great. - Go get 'em, baby.

Kimberly?

- Kimberly? - Hm?

Now, I know you have nothing to sing about,

but you owe it to the world to share those golden pipes.

What are you talking about?

- Ron's band is in the toilet. - Oh.

He needs a singer.

Now before you say, "No," consider his future.

You're his friend.

He needs you.

When's the audition?

Ugh! Must you be so selfish?

Hello. I said yes.

I did the best I could.

? Oh, when the saints ?

? Go marching in ?

? Oh, when the saints ?

? Go marching in ?

? I said, "In" ?

? Right on in ?

? Not out but in ?

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Get off.

- You still fired. - Wait. Wait a minute.

I had a big finish planned.

Yeah, finished is what you are, sweetheart.

You couldn't hold a note if you glued a handle on it.

I sang in church choir and many folks got the Holy Ghost.

No, no, no, Gina. Goodbye, Gina.

Yeah, you might as well leave with her.

No, no, Larry. I have one girl left.

- She'd have to be Whitney Houston, Ron. - Hey, Ron.

Whitney! Get up there and get ready. Go.

Let me tell you something, Larry.

This girl won on Star Search and turned it down to pursue her studies.

Ron, listening to you lie like this

brings back fond memories of my adolescence.

Sing.

? Come bring me your softness ?

? Comfort me through all this madness ?

? Don't you know with you I'm born again? ?

You wasted my time.

Does this mean I'm still fired?

No, no, no. You should have had her here two hours ago.

Money, money, money.

? Lying safe within your arms ?

? I'm born again� ?

? I read between the lines ?

? And I know what you say ?

? Our love for each other ?

? Will never go away ?

Look at the way he's looking at her.

I tell you, more romances start in the workplace than anywhere else.

Yeah. All those CEOs harassing all those women.

Get off it already?

- Go, girl! - Encore!

You planning to make a little music with Miss Reese?

? I'll show her my kindness ?

Sing it, baby. Sing it.

? �with all my fineness ?

I like it. I like it.

Oh, my goodness! Hell's demon! Don't shoot! Take the cash!

Vern� Vern, it's me.

- It's me, Brad. Yeah. - Brad?

Help me get this helmet off.

- You almost give me a heart attack. - Pull it.

- Brace yourself, Brad. - Take it off.

- Don't take off my head. - Here you go.

- Come on, Vern. - Okay.

- Pull the doggone thing. Pull! - Okay!

Brad?

Oh, my goodness. Why are you dressed like Eddie Murphy?

Carry on.

I was just, uh, test-driving my new Harley here.

Yeah. You want to make Jaleesa a widow.

Oh�

Forty-seven years old.

Vern, tell me the truth.

Don't you think I'm too old for her, right?

Brad, do you remember Hunchback of Notre Dame?

- Yeah. - Well, now, he was ugly,

but Gina Lollobrigida loved him anyway.

She was a good woman.

But them bells would have drove me crazy.

Linda, raise the admission from $5 to $10.

Larry? Larry Beaujolais?

I have not seen you since-

Jaleesa.

- How have you been? - Oh, I'm doing fine.

Oh, baby.

You two know each other, huh?

Uh, hey, your father's pretty smart.

I happen to be her husband, Bradford Taylor.

- You don't say. - I do say.

Well, congratulations.

I wish both of you the best.

Linda, take a dollar off admission for my friends here.

Enjoy.

Ooh, I like that song.

My song, babe. Come on. No, don't sit down. Let's hit it.

Come on.

Oh, I think I'm� I think I'm in a time warp.

What is that?

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

Welcome to the Thursday night throw down at the Blue Dog!

Here, at the Blue Dog, we've always been committed to two things.

Helping develop young Black talent

and serving you drinks.

For you people sitting, there's a five drink minimum.

And now for our featured act.

Starting tonight

you can see this young lady three times a week.

Kim! Kim! Kim!

They're screaming for me?

She brought you to your feet last time.

Welcome back, Miss Kimberly Reese!

What in the hell is going on here? What about X-Pression?

Kimberly Reese!

? Ooh, hey ?

? Ooh, no, no, no� ?

? I'm running away from love again ?

? Because of one bad experience ?

? I'm trying hard to set myself free ?

? 'Cause somebody Somebody's love keeps tracking me ?

? Is it you? Is it you? Is it you? Is it you? ?

? Keeps tracking me, keeps tracking me ?

? Is it you? Oh, boy, I wish it was you ?

? Keeps tracking me ?

Hey, man, great set. She's on a high now.

- Now, it's time to put the ball in play. - I'm there.

Move out of the way. I got Ron Johnson here.

I can't believe you.

Hey, Ron, I know you got a better rap than that.

Kim, girl, you were slamming.

She was not the only one up there tonight.

Oh, thanks, Jaleesa,

I was a little nervous at first but I kind of got the hang of it.

Well, too bad I didn't have a rope.

Kim, do you think it'd be too much trouble for you to sing at our party tomorrow?

Yeah. She's throwing me a surprise party.

- Oh, I really should rest my voice. - Yo, Kim-

Kim, the music critic from The Herald is here. Come on.

- A critic? - Kim, my sister, beautiful. You moved me.

- Thank you. - Truly, truly uplifting.

I got all these ideas for a pro-feminist counter-rap�

Know what I mean. An answer to N.W.A's last album.

- Where Latifah leaves off, Reese rocks. - I like that.

I knew you'd love it.

- I'm thinking for you. - We can't keep him waiting.

Excuse me, your highness! May I have a word with you, please?

- Excuse me. Pardon me. - What's the matter? You seem upset.

Oh, don't play with me, All About Eve.

Enjoy all the attention you're getting because this is the first and last time

you showboat like you did up there tonight.

Ron, you should know the difference between showboating and show-stopping.

Kimberly, girl, 'm so proud of you. I want a picture with the diva.

- Sure. - Come on, Ron, snap.

- Come on, honey. - Get the hell out of here!

He's just jealous 'cause you a star.

Oh, it's okay, Ron. I know success is new to you.

What's new is playing backup to a ham.

Kim, I don't eat pork, and I don't play with it.

Ron, the people want singing.

No one wants to watch you do drum solos on stage.

They can't even see me past your big head.

Kim, X-Pression is my band.

You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me.

Oh-ho, be nice, Ron. I'll mention you in the interview. Okay?

You are so photogenic, Kim.

- Which one of me do you like the best? - The one that buses tables.

You wouldn't ask Anita Baker to bus tables.

Well, I don't need a baker.

I need a waitress. Kimberly Reese, you'll meet the same people

on the way down that you met on the way up.

Well, then, right now, you have a meeting with the leftovers.

Hey, baby, Ron's out back burying his drumsticks.

His dog's laughing at him.

The male ego is so fragile.

Now what have you been filling this girl's head with?

Nothing. She's just enjoying her fame a little, Dwayne.

She's been a wallflower all her life.

Yeah, well, your wallflower done turned into The Little Shop of Horrors.

I am not asking my Kimmie to curb her brilliance

to accommodate your friend's insecurities.

Give me that ring back. Give me the ring. Give it to me.

I told you don't play like that!

Leave me alone!

Ronald!

I got the new song.

Hated it.

- Maybe she is getting a tad carried away. - Mm-hm.

Kimmie, I liked that song.

You're not the one who has to sing it.

Now, Kimberly, sometimes we, the artist,

do not have the right perspective on things.

You're comparing yourself to me?

What have you done other than leech off other people's talent?

You better get off your high horse.

Get off my coattails.

Ron, go get the dog back. We got cats in here.

Kim, as leader of X-Pression

it is my pleasure to inform you that your services are no longer needed.

Why don't you hop on your mop and float on out of here?

I don't think so, Ronald.

You fire me, you fire yourself.

Now, I have some ideas on how my act should go.

Stay with me.

I arrive 45 minutes late.

The people are going crazy.

They're scalping tickets in the parking lot.

A pinspot, a pink gel� I'm there.

I do a little patter, the poor childhood bit�

- You weren't poor. - Darling, it sells.

I do a couple of more numbers.

Then the houselights go up half so I can do my health care shtick.

And yes,

I need to be alone onstage, so I can do my encore.

Think about it.

She called me a leech.

- It's okay, baby. - Oh, no, no, no, no.

- Baby� - Oh, no, no, no�

Uh, thanks for helping me drown my sorrows, Vern.

Oh, another J�germeister.

Yeah, I'll take another wine.

Tell him about it.

- He's starting to get on my nerves. - I know.

Vern, that should be enough. That's number five.

- Well, it's okay 'cause you driving. - We walked.

Velma told me I'd find you two here.

Oh, it wasn't my choice.

Brad Taylor, I want to talk to you.

Honey, now look, I'm sorry I walked out on the party.

When I saw all those candles on that cake,

- it looked like a forest fire. - Mm-hm.

Now I want you to listen to me, Colonel.

I married you because you are strong and brilliant

and you are the very first man who's allowed me to be myself.

I married you, honey,

because I want to have your child.

You're just saying that because you pity me.

Ugh, what are we going to do about him?

Who are you talking to?

Our little colonel

or colonelette.

- Are you serious? Really? - Mm-hm.

We're going to have a little colonel or a little colonelette? Aw!

Oh, baby.

Ah, I'm back!

Hey, hey, Vern, we're going to have a baby.

- This calls for champagne. - Yeah, come on.

- A little celebration. - No, I can't. I'm pregnant.

She can't do that. She's pregnant.

Come on, little mama, let's go home.

Well, I'm going to go home and tell Velma.

Is this a secret?

No.

She's having my baby.

We're going to have a baby, y'all.

We going to have a baby.

Ron, where the hell is Kim, man? She's 45 minutes late.

No, she's right on schedule.

Kim, is that a fur?

Not now, dear. We'll do lunch.

Hello. Hello. How are you?

It's good to see you. You're back again?

Oh! Of course I will.

Will you look at Kim looking like Millie Jackson?

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Blue Dog is proud to present the lady, the legend�

The legend?

Miss Kimberly Reese.

? Ooh ?

Me, Kim Reese.

I know you're all thinking who is Kim Reese?

Who is this girl behind the glamour?

Get her off.

The gal behind the greasepaint.

The poor kid from Columbus

with a dream.

? I've been looking for you ?

? You've been� ?

I'll just be a moment.

Is this your idea of a joke?

Why do you need music to back up your autobiography?

Ron, this is not the time.

This is the time.

You said, you wanted to be late, didn't like our music,

and you wanted to be on stage alone. You got it, baby.

But, Ron, I need you guys to play. This is not what I had in mind.

This isn't what I had in mind either, Kim.

I thought we were friends and this was an opportunity for both us,

not your opportunity to turn into Natalie Cole-blooded.

Excuse me.

If you want to carry on like this, go right ahead.

You're just going to do it without me.

Oh, God, I went there.

Yeah. And on the Concorde.

Now, look, you got two choices.

Either start playing, or buy a whole lot of drinks.

Let's hit it.

- Okay, great, we can start with- - No, no, no.

We can start with the finger cymbals and an instrumental.

Put that wig back on.

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