Original subtitles

Freddie, you on the air.

Brothers and sisters, you're listening to Freddie in the morning

WHZU campus radio.

And now for all my transcendental friends, this one is for you.

The migration of the whales.

How romantic.

Tonight we'll watch the dance theater of Harlem

leap across the stage.

Tomorrow it's the National Gallery. And Sunday--

On Sunday, Whitley, I'll be here trying to close this suitcase.

Why did you open it anyway?

I wanted to be sure I didn't leave anything.

Oh, honey, after we're married,

we're gonna have discuss this wardrobe fetish you have.

You won't be saying that after you see my new negligee.

- Black chiffon. - Ooh.

- All lacy on top. - Ooh, ooh, ooh.

I think we got it here.

Off to D.C.

I interrupt the whales to bring you this special report.

Hurricane Gary has changed its course.

All airports in the area are closed.

I repeat, the hurricane is now headed for Hillman.

All non-essential vehicles should be off of the highways.

Black, lacy chiffon negligee.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember ?

? That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ?Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

All right. Bus number seven leaves from The Pit in ten minutes.

Everyone assigned to bus number seven, please leave now. Right now.

Honey, why couldn't we've been on the first bus?

Come on now, Jaleesa. You are a military wife now. Toughen up.

I don't care about the army.

Now, Jaleesa, as soon as everyone is evacuated from here safely,

we will go get on our bus. Okay?

Come on now, honey.

- Kim? - Yes, yes, yes.

Look, I know it's a hurricane and everything,

but Jaleesa is hysterical.

Look at her. Have you ever seen her like this?

I don't think so.

Well, look, uh, would you please stay close to her, all right?

- Okay. - You have such a calming effect on people.

- Okay. - Go ahead.

- Oh, Dad, Dad. - Yeah?

I taped 12 windows and doors at the end of each hall.

Uh, son, why did you tape the doors?

Oh, I� I figured, you know, doors, windows�

same thing.

Yeah, moving on. Moving on. Uh, Gina?

Gina, look.

You make sure everyone has flashlights, sleeping bags, and warm clothing.

You got that? Uh, Kim?

- Yes, yes, yes. Yes. - Kim?

- Dismantle the computer. - I don't know how.

Kim, you're smart. You'll figure it out. Come on, hon, move it. Move it.

Dad, Dad, what can I do now?

Here, hold my jacket.

Everybody, everybody, calm down! I'm here!

Colonel Taylor, thanks for covering for me.

Hey, where's everybody going?

They're going windsurfing, babe.

We need to move to a safer location. So we're all going to the Roanoke Armory.

I can't spend my first anniversary at the Armory.

It's too dismal, and dark, and dank.

Yeah. There's no privacy.

Oh, come on, people. This is a hurricane.

Now what did you expect, The Ritz?

- Okay, what do you want me to do? - All right.

Uh, make sure the water and electricity is turned off completely.

- Okay. - Good.

- Hey, Dad, can I go help-- - No! No, no, Terrence, you stay here.

But what should I do here?

That's good. Good.

- Okay, Colonel, I'm here for you. - Mmm-hmm.

Which bus am I on?

The last one.

My furniture is gonna be okay.

My house. It's gonna be okay. We are all gonna be okay.

Damn! Look!

This hurricane is smashing up everything in sight!

Brad? Brad, Brad, our house! Our house!

Huh? What, hon? What? Oh, no, no. Now calm down, Jaleesa.

Now come on, Jaleesa. Calm down.

- Excuse me, Dad? - Yeah?

Oh, you know, Hillman is on a delta.

By this time tomorrow, our house could be in Tennessee.

You want your jacket now?

People, Hurricane Gary is expected to hit Hillman

in less than three hours.

Go to your designated shelters. Blowing debris can injure and kill.

Ron Johnson, hope you're listening from your convertible.

I always listen to Freddie in the morning.

- Love those whales. - What do you want?

Oh, this little thunderstorm is the perfect opportunity

for my band, X-pression, to express itself to a captive audience.

Ron, I'm not about to use a natural disaster

to hype your tired little band.

Oh, come on now. Even Mother Nature needs to partay.

If she were having fun, she wouldn't be acting this way.

- Freddie. - Okay, take your trash, get out of here.

This is not trash, you environmental zealot.

Now play it and maybe your listeners will wake up.

My listeners want nothing to do with the pseudo-musical stylings

of a bougie, no-talent, chauvinist,

sawed-off, Cro-Magnon runt.

- Freddie! - Leave that short thing alone.

- We gotta get out of here! - Is teensy-weensy Ronnie sensitive

about his itty-bitty size?

You take that back you mitch-match rainbow coalition�

�Medusa-looking, freckle-faced mutt!

I am rubber, you are glue,

everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.

Freddie!

You obviously grew up in a white neighborhood.

Why is this bus so late? We've been waiting for an hour and a half.

This is no time for tardiness.

Hey, hey, boy, calm yourself. Go do some calculus or something.

Excellent idea.

I didn't bring my books, Mr. Wayne.

Mr. Gaines, you got to get on that bus with us.

- You can't stay in The Pit. - Yes, I can.

This is my ship. If it is going down, I'm going down with it.

- I can't let you do that! - I'll be fine.

Oh, that bus is coming, and you're getting on it!

No, I am not!

What is up with Mr. Gaines, Kim?

He's old, he's stubborn, he's pig-headed. Figure it out.

Hey, but why is that bus so late?

- I don't know. - Is this storm gonna get a lot worse?

It's my first hurricane too, okay?

Yeah, but you know everything.

We should be at a hotel room overlooking the Lincoln Memorial.

No, overlooking your lingerie.

- Is that all you want me for? - Oh, don't be silly, Whitley.

Of course, that's all I want you for.

Oh, stop. Close your mouth, baby. At least we're together.

Hey, maybe we can find a nice, quiet spot at the Armory.

Near the artillery.

- Boom, boom! - Pop, pop, poop, poop!

All you counter-cultural types are alike.

Five years from now, you're gonna be living in a mansion,

wearing a fur coat,

and driving a big, gas-guzzling, air-polluting luxury car.

Five years from now, you're going to be in a police lineup

with the other flashers.

Don't knock flashing, baby.

It's the only way you're ever gonna see anything.

Get out of here, you nasty little wart. I happen to have a broadcast to do.

Let's go, Reggie! Reggie? Hey? Where's my engineer?

Brother with the headphones? He broke out of here over a half hour ago.

But you couldn't see beyond your flapping lips.

What? "Evacuate the building! Bye"

What?

"The hurricane is packing winds of up to 100 miles per hour."

"Hillman College has been declared unsafe. Evacuation procedures are now in effect."

"All buses are leaving from The Pit." Ron!

Did you hear that? That little pig!

My man is out there.

And as thin as he is, that wind is just gonna blow him right away.

- Isn't it, Kim? - This isn't the movies.

Oh, honey! Thank God you made it.

Colonel, you got to talk to Mr. Gaines. He won't leave The Pit.

- Well, he won't be alone. - What?

All the roads have been washed out. We gonna stay here for a while.

All right, stay calm! Stay calm!

That's just a warning signal, just to take cover. That's all.

We're all gonna die!

Calm down!

All right now, people, people, none of us were planning to be here.

Especially me.

But, The Pit, being below ground,

provides excellent protection against the wind.

Howsomever, there is a slight chance of flooding.

- What? - I can't swim.

The force of the flood alone will probably kill you.

Should I sandbag the back door?

Uh, no, no.

You are not very good with doors.

Honey, honey, you're digging your nails into my arm.

Oh, I'm sorry.

But it's just not fair.

I finally got my life together.

And why is it that every time something good happens to me,

something else comes along and just takes it right away?

I don't know.

Neither wind, nor rain, nor hurricane

can stop us from celebrating our anniversary.

In style.

It's hard to believe it's been a year already, babe.

And one day we'll tell our children how we survived this calamity.

- Yeah. All nine of them. - Yeah, all nine of them.

And they'll all be girls just like me.

Girls?

I got married early, went to school late.

I'm gonna die soon.

What a life.

To our future.

Dwayne?

What if we don't make it?

Baby, I'll meet you on the other side.

And I'll be wearing a blue hat.

I hope Freddie's okay. I can't get WHCU.

I tried calling, but the phone lines are down.

Yeah, well, wherever she is, she's better off than La Toya Jackson.

If you had just played my tape and shut up we wouldn't be trapped.

Hey. It was your karma that brought down the power line in front of the door.

If you had jumped out the second-story window like I told you,

- you could've opened it from the outside. That's it!

I knew you couldn't keep your hands off me.

Ahhh!

Trauma! Trauma!

I never thought I could hurt another human being

but you're not human, you little beast!

Don't make me go Bruce Lee on you.

Listen. Listen, brother� I don't believe in borders, okay?

But if you cross this line, then your butt is mine!

- You gon' talk about that line? - Yes.

I'll read you from Newsweek. October 2, 1989.

And I quote.

"Hugo is a killer."

"To stay is to die."

Oh, boy, put that paper down.

We can't die here, Dwayne.

I wanted to live to see my parents get back together.

Baby, you can live to be 100 and you might not see that.

You know what?

I always wanted to buy my parents a beautiful house.

- Hmmm. - With lots of rooms,

so my pops can hide from my mom.

Good idea.

Oh. There's so much I haven't done and seen.

I� I haven't been to Egypt. I haven't seen the Pyramids.

Damn, I've never been to the Hoosier Dome.

Who?

It's the Hoosier Dome. Basketball.

Kim?

You know what your problem is?

Your girdle is too tight. You should just loosen up.

Come on, just have some fun!

Do the� do the� Do the� Aye.

This is not you. This is the alcohol speaking.

Well, neither one of us is speaking to you.

Honey?

Honey, uh, can I speak with you in the restroom for a minute?

- Come on. - Oh, but there's a hurricane coming.

We can't do that!

Jaleesa, Jaleesa, honey, you're drunk.

Well, what do we have for this man, Don Pardo?

Come on, let's go.

Damn, Reggie ate all the granola bars.

Hup, hup, hup!

I'm starving.

Pity.

Ooh!

Yum, yum, yum�

Beef jerky.

I don't eat animals.

Oh. This isn't just meat. This is, uh, ooh, salt, dextrose,

monosodium nitrate and other artificial additives.

Not to mention, it's made by non-union meat packers.

You cannibal!

Damn skippy.

Right now, it's all you can do to keep from ripping this out of my hand.

I'd rather starve.

Oh, you will.

A little salty though.

Hmmm. Pity.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm, mmm. Hmmm.

Soothing. So refreshing.

- Mmm. - So tasty.

Mmm. So filling.

Mmm.

Oh!

Kim! Kim! Kim!

If any of us should become seriously injured,

are you medically equipped to treat us?

- Kim, when is this storm gonna end? - What?

- Hey, Kim? - What?

Do you know how long I'm to cook these teeny taters?

How the hell should I know?! I'm not the galloping gourmet.

I'm not Willard Scott, and I'm not Doogie Howser!

I am not your superwoman!

She just had an identity crisis.

The hurricane is here!

Oh! No, no, no, I'm just� That's just water.

That's just water to sober my baby up. Huh?

- I'm your baby? - Yes, baby.

- And you love me? - Yes, I love you.

Don't you remember�

Don't you remember what I told the preacher�

- Oh. - Uh?

�when he said, "in sickness and in health"?

And don't you know that you have tested both of those today?

Yeah, but not even a hurricane could keep us apart.

You're my world.

What's your name?

Then I go shopping in Paris.

And then you can buy me a beautiful diamond tiara.

And then we'll go to the big ball in Versailles.

Baby, I want to spend my last day walking down the aisle.

Oh, Pookie.

Picking up my Ph.D.

Well, thanks a lot, Dwayne.

Yeah, I had you in Versailles with me.

Relax, Mrs. Wayne,

you're right there with me.

I don't need a tiara. I don't need a big ball.

All I need is you.

- Say it loud. - All I need is you!

That's true, baby.

All I need�

Give me some help over here, somebody!

I got it, Dad!

Get off of me, Wayne!

No! You don't want to see this.

Get off of me!

My coat!

Dwayne?

Freddie? Are you scared?

No, are you?

I used to be. That's when I was a boy.

I wouldn't go to sleep unless Mickey was on.

He lit up my nights for 17 years.

And my mother used to sing this song to me.

My mother used to read to me from Chaucer.

? Itsy bitsy spider Went up the water spout ?

? Down came the rain And washed the spider out ?

When that Aprilis, with his showers swoot

The drought of March Hath pierced to the root

Never heard of Mother Goose in your house?

My parents thought that most fairytales were Eurocentric, sexist, dogmatic.

But I did have a bootleg copy of Sleeping Beauty

I used to read at night with a flashlight.

Oh.

My parents are right, Ron, I'm all screwed up.

I guess why that's why I've, um, waited so long.

I'm still waiting for my Prince Charming.

You mean, all Sleeping Beauty has done is sleep?

Yeah, I'm still waiting for my Prince Charming.

Oh, it's so bright in here.

Honey, I think I had too much to drink.

Oh. Much too much.

Do you think anybody noticed?

Uh, only the people in this room.

- Ow! - I'll get you some coffee.

Okay.

Oh, Dad, mission accomplished.

Oh, good. Good work, Dwayne. Good work.

Terrence, you ought to watch him. Learn something from this man.

Oh, Colonel, actually, I did all the watching.

Terrence fixed the generator.

- What, my Terrence fixed the generator? - Yes, he did.

- Yeah. - I was just fooling with it.

I've underestimated you, huh?

Son, I owe you an apology.

Nah, that's all right.

This reminds me of my son, Darnell.

All my life, I thought he was good for nothing.

- And? - That's it.

When Daddy took my credit cards away,

you were there.

When Santa mugged me, you were there.

What happened to "all I need is you"?

That was before they sacrificed my coat.

Whitley, look at this philosophically�

Those little animals that were taken to make up your coat?

Uh-huh?

- They were plucked from Mother Nature. - Uh-huh.

- When he stuffed the coat in the window? - Uh-huh?

They were returned to Mother Nature.

When are they gonna return it to me?

It's hard to believe it's been a year already, baby.

- Excuse me, Whitley? - What?

I'm really sorry about your coat. I'd like to pay for it.

No. Terrence, go fix the generator, man. I got this.

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

that means the worst has passed!

Shh! Shh! What's that sound?

The hurricane has moved on!

Great, we're rescued.

Ron, what did we just do?

I don't know.

But it was kind of nice.

Ron, this is just between you and me, right?

Fred, I won't tell a soul.

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