Original subtitles

That's right, ladies. Okay.

Come back to me. Come back to me.

Okay. Thank you.

I'm not going to name names, April,

but when I say "one man to your room," I don't mean one man every half hour.

And remember,

your doors are to be kept open at a 45-degree angle.

Thank you, Kimberly, for that assist but this is my meeting.

- Now, on to more edifying topics. - Hey, yo.

- There are� - Twenty-five cents a taste.

- What? - Nobody's paying my bills, girl.

Give 'em� Yes, come on. Thank you.

�to respect the dwelling in which you live.

Girl, this is good. This homemade? This is tasty. Mmm-hmm.

You know how to cook, girl.

Excuse me, Miss Piglet.

You mind pulling your head out of the trough for a few moments?

Lena, I'll be glad when you're out of my apartment.

- What did I do? - Oh.

Okay, ladies, let me remind you, especially in a time

when we're having problems with our electrical wiring,

we do not allow appliances in your rooms,

and that means hair dryers, microwaves, hot plates, curling irons�

Uh, where are you going?

To the basement to ditch my chain saw, roomie.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? ? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

-

Damn.

- Kim? - Hey.

I see that you were out all night again.

Who is he?

- He is student council. - Ugh.

We keep have these all-night meetings

to discuss why our meetings take all night.

Why are you hanging out with those bushy bureaucrats?

Well, the top medical schools are looking for more than geeks with good GPAs.

Speaking of geeks, we had another blackout last night.

- Really? - Terrence staged a one-man panty raid.

Luckily, I tackled him in the hall, got Tuesday through Thursday back.

Ah!

Come on, I thought that Whitley was gonna take care of the electrical problem.

Oh, she did, by telling me to handle it.

Figure, she makes you do all the work.

Oh, no, no, no. Just the menial, tedious, rinky-dink stuff.

Kim, look what my roommate did to my skirt.

The girl's got a boonda from the motherland.

Boondas are Whitley's department.

- She told me to come to you. - I'm late for work, Gina.

Guess I'll just use this as a car cover.

I don't know what possessed Jaleesa to put marshmallows on a tuna casserole.

- Clearly, the devil. - I begged her not to cook for me,

but what does she do, hmm?

- Cook for you. - That's right.

That's exactly what Velma did for me nearly 41 years ago,

but I wasn't about to let her cooking kill me.

So I gave her a guided tour around the kitchen.

Oh, you taught Velma how to cook?

Mmm-hmm. Among other things.

Man.

There's my little resident assistant.

Sweetie, it seems that some of your dorm duties have been left undone.

Don't you realize why I've given you so much responsibility?

Because you don't want to do your job?

- No, 'cause I'm busy. - Well, I'm busy too, Whitley.

You're not as busy as I am.

I have an art exhibit to plan for, a wedding to arrange, a man to tend to.

- Ugh. - I don't think you can say the same.

I can say I've got one nerve left, and you're getting on it.

- Attitude. - Ugh.

Kimberly, you're my resident assistant. It's your job to assist me.

But in order to assist you,

you have to do something, not just dictate.

- You mean delegate. - Tell me difference.

- Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch. - Panties in a bunch?

Hello, Dean Barksdog� Barksdale.

It is such an unexpected pleasure to see you.

So I heard.

So, how are things over at Height Hall?

Fine. Fine. Just fine.

Oh, tell me anything, Whitley.

Excuse us, Kimberly.

With pleasure.

So�

you say that things are going well�

�and yet one of your girls is dropping out of school.

They are? She is? Who?

Oh! That missy.

I knew that.

I know everything that goes on in my dorm.

Is that right?

Then tell me, who is she?

You and your little quizzes, Dean.

You slay me.

Someday, my dear. Someday.

Now, Karen Kennedy insists on leaving campus this afternoon.

Poor thing's so homesick.

Eighteen years old, still carrying a blankie.

Sorry to lose her�

but does that mean that Lena James can move out of my apartment?

I don't see any reason why not.

Oh, thank you, Dean Barksdale. You've turned my life around.

Not nearly as much as I'd like to.

I'll be watching you.

Yo, yo, yo, what's up, what's up?

Pack your glad rags in your glad bags

and move into Karen Kennedy's room.

- Into my own room? - And out of my life by 5:00 p.m.

- Ciao, ciao, ciao. - Whoo, ciao!

Knead the dough. Knead it, easy.

There you go. Like, like that.

Now� now you fold it.

Fold it. Good, good.

Now knead it, knead it,

and knead it.

You know, if I had known you were such an expert at this,

I think I would have asked you to work with me sooner.

Yeah, well, the important thing

is that you've finally come to the right place

for what you need.

- To fold? - And to knead.

Hello.

Terrence?

Pops. Jaleesa.

I thought I changed the lock.

- I gave him a key. - Why did you do that?

- Hello, son. - Hey, Dad.

Um, my roommate decided not to come back to school.

Uh, why did he do a fool thing like that?

He joined the army.

I� I can't afford my rent, uh, so�

- here I am. - Permanently?

Terrence, you know, you can stay here just as long as you like.

Oh thanks.

Uh, I'll go put my stuff in the room.

Well, actually, Terrence, I'm using that room.

- Separate rooms already? - For her temp agency, son.

You know, Brad, I can have my files moved.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm not putting my back through that again. No, no.

Terrence, son, you can stay in your sister's old room. Go ahead.

With the poodle curtains and the pink canopy?

No, no, no� Not the kid. I mean, Dad, what would the ladies say?

There will be no ladies in your room.

Well, excuse me. I guess I'll go fluff some pillows or something.

- So, how do my applications look? - Long.

- But your personal statement is excellent. - Great.

Wait, wait a minute.

When were you in the drama club?

Freshman year.

Oh, please. You were a shrub.

- I was a tree. Leave me alone. - A tree?

- A shrub. - It was a good tree--

- Hey, you got any hot sauce? - No.

Any chili powder?

- No. - You're not cooking in your room, are you?

No. It's for my goldfish. He likes spices.

She's cooking.

- I'm gonna go check on her. - Okay.

What will happen if I kill my roommate?

Well, depends on how you do it.

April started by borrowing my clothes, now she's borrowing my man.

- Oh? Damn. - And locked me out of the room.

Gina, if we open that discussion now, it could take all night, okay?

Oh, but no, see.

You misunderstand.

I'm finished talking. I'm taking matters into my own hands.

There's going to be a fight. There's gonna be a fight.

- Yes, there is! - Freddie!

- Gina, can I watch TV in here? - Ugh.

Our 21-inch Kinishewa Maxiviewer is on the blink

and my portable fell in the bathtub.

Well, good thing I wasn't in it.

Good for who?

That's not funny.

Ron, Ron, Ron, we don't have a TV. Okay? Go watch in the lounge.

As in the ladies' lounge?

Oh, I'm with that program. Mmm.

You know, we need a turnstile or a toll booth.

I thought about our confrontation this afternoon, Kimberly,

and I have decided to take a more active role in our dorm.

Dean Barksdale put the whammy on you, huh?

Who cares what that fire-breathing sow says?

You and I need to work as a team around here.

- Okay, I'm with you, coach. - Good.

Mr. Quibbly from Maintenance checked the circuit breakers.

I know. I called him.

Bada-team.

He also suggested we check each room for illegal appliances.

Oh, that reminds me. I have to go to Lena's room.

She may be cooking in her room.

Good. While you're at it, check 210, 212, 214 and 221.

Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.

I have med applications to finish tonight.

Dwayne and I are going out to dinner.

Oh, that's important?

It is. We're checking samples for our wedding reception

and going over the bridal registry.

Oh, you sure know how to show a man a good time.

I don't see any hairy knuckles knocking down your door.

Well, I don't like hairy men.

- I heard you like anything with lips. - Well, I heard--

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- How dare you! - Freddie. Freddie.

Hey, hey, hey.

This is my argument, okay?

- You just call me if you need anything. - Got it.

Kimberly,

have you forgotten that it was I who recommended you for this job?

You won't let me forget.

You're welcome.

I didn't realize our friendship was such a burden to you.

Oh, you are taking this guilt trip solo.

Now, you don't understand the financial and academic pressures

- I deal with every day. Oh! Okay? - Stop lording your poverty over me!

You think just because I have money, I don't have problems?

Well, I gots aplenty!

Well, at least we agree on that.

Kimberly, you check those rooms tonight�

or else.

Or else what?

You ain't invited to my wedding!

Why, you little�

Lena, it's Kim.

Okay, just one minute.

I just got out the shower and I'm naked.

I don't have any clothes on, so just hold on.

Wait a minute. Where's my robe?

Oh, jeez.

Oh, here it is. Here it is.

Wait a minute! Phew!

Child, hold up. Here I come.

I'm sorry to keep you out there so long,

but, oh, you know, I'm real shy about things like this.

Phew!

Child, I'm sorry.

- Phew! - So�

- where's your goldfish? - Oh.

There he is, right here. This is Calvin.

Isn't he cute? Watch, he does tricks. Watch this.

Hey, you. Hey, hey.

Do something for Mommy.

I guess these, uh, spices slows him down.

Oh, no, mmm-mmm, he loves this. Watch.

He is not eating.

April! I see you in there. And I'm coming to get you.

Kim, look, look, look. Come here.

It's Gina, she's climbing in the window downstairs.

You're kidding?

- Ooh! She just fell. Come here. - Oh, my God.

Gina, Gina, don't scale the�

Oh, thanks for the appliances, T.

Hey, I don't need 'em anymore.

They clash with my pink room.

You know, Lena, my dad and I were just starting to get close,

but now, Jaleesa's taking up all his time.

I'd be happy if my dad got married.

Then maybe I wouldn't have to look after him so much.

So drop the bib, all right? And get rid of that ponytail.

Yo!

I was just kickin' it in the lobby

when the aroma of some hot, spicy, fish-filled

Louisiana Creole gumbo jumped up and smacked me in the nose.

You have a spoon to spare?

Do you know how to do anything besides mooch?

Beg.

Come on. Let me have a little something.

- Just a taste. Only a little bit. - All right. All right. Here.

- Goodness gracious. - Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Mmm!

This gumbo is hitting.

You could make serious cash marketing this.

Well, tell me something I don't know.

Yo, yo, grub time!

Grub time!

Come on.

Hey! All right, hold it. Hey.

Y'all act like you never had food before.

Ooh! Gee whiz!

Whitley's back. Whitley's back.

Hey! Hey! Hey, excuse me! Give the ozone a break.

Wasn't Jean-Fran�ois's p�t� scrumpdillyicious?

Yeah, I thought it was quite tasty until you told me it was goose liver.

I ain't down for eating animal guts, baby.

You liked those nasty chitterlings.

Speaking of chitterlings, what is that funky smell?

Smell fine

till you arrived.

What are you doing here, Ron, besides bringing down the property value?

- Oh! - Hey, hey!

Where's my show?

Oh, no! Come on back on!

- What do you think? - Mmm.

I think your ear tastes better than ever.

- Stop that, Dwayne. - "Stop that, Dwayne."

Ooh, how do you like this for my wedding bouquet?

- Look, Dwayne. Baby, I trust your taste.

Tell me what to wear and what time to be at church,

and I'm there. Promise.

Your trust sounds like disinterest.

Mmm-mmm, I'm very interested.

In fact, I'd like to rehearse the honeymoon right now.

Oh, don't stop, daddy! I'm feeling it!

Whitley, did you plan a fire drill now?

No.

- No? - Fire!

- Whoa! Wait, wait, wait. - Where's my handbook?

- Now, evacuate the building! - Whitley, Whitley, Whitley, calm down.

First off, calm down. Keep your cool.

- I'm calm. - Keep your cool.

- Dwayne? - Yes?

- Save yourself. You know how I love you� - Save yourself?

�but I've got to save these girls from a burning inferno.

Relax, relate, release.

Fire! Fire! Everybody out!

Run for your lives!

Damn!

Oh, my God, how did this happen?

It's a sign.

With you and Whitley in charge, this dorm is going to hell.

Come on.

Ron, Ron, turn off the TV. Come on, come on.

Don't you see, I'm watching the brothers in the courtroom!

On the other side of the bench, for a change.

Where's Whitley?

She's probably putting on makeup to go outside.

Right.

Perfume, baby shoes,

my brass pig, my address book--

Wait, what are you doing?

- I'm saving our future and our trousseau. - Whitley, forget it.

- Everybody else is outside. - I need a few essentials.

My family album, my art portfolio�

- Whitley-- - �my mink jacket!

Oh! Whitley, would you come on?

- I'm coming! I'm coming! - We're leaving, now, come on, we gotta go.

I just have to get my bridal planner.

Oh, Lord. There'll be no going back for that. Uh-uh.

Denzel!

Who's in charge here?

The jury's reached a verdict.

I am, Mr. Fireman, sir.

These domestic appliances overwhelmed the circuits

and started the blaze,

- but the conflagration's been squelched. - Huh?

The fire's out.

Guilty? Oh, that was a setup!

There was substantial superficial damage,

but it was confined to an enclosure of a singular nature.

What?

He said a room is toast.

Precisely.

Now, there was an injury of a minor nature.

- Somebody under my care was injured? - Who is it?

A female of an African-American nature.

Does that narrow it down for you?

Well, where is she?

On the second floor, partaking of our complimentary oxygen.

Y'all have a nice day.

I've got to see who's hurt.

Do you realize what could've happened?

I don't want to think about that--

Mmm, but the Dean will. Here she comes, girlfriend.

- Ladies! - Oh.

- Hello, Ms. Dean. - Don't even try it.

Lena, are you okay?

No, I'm all right. Thanks.

Girl, your gumbo was tasty but it's not worth risking my life.

So, it was you. I should have known.

Does someone want to clue me in? What happened?

Ma'am, um�

I was cooking gumbo in my room and I started a fire.

I'm sorry. And it�

Well, I'm sure you are.

Whitley, ladies,

let's take this into your apartment.

You too, little match girl.

Does this mean no more gumbo?

This is a new dorm,

and I can't have you running it like a disco inferno.

It was not we who lit the match, ma'am.

Oh, how I wish it were.

The appropriate punishment is suspension.

Kicked out of school? Uh, it was just an accident.

For how long?

That will be determined by the judicial board.

Now, wait a minute, I can't leave school now.

I worked too hard to get here.

I'm sorry, but you should have thought of that

before you decided you were Chef Boyardee.

Look, look, look, look, seriously, the only reason I was cooking

was because I needed the money.

Wait a minute, Dean. This isn't entirely her fault.

We have been having a lot of electrical wiring problems.

And I called maintenance three times this week,

and I'm not too sure we were clear on which appliances are prohibited.

Dean Barksdale, she� she is impetuous and high-spirited,

but not malicious.

She's very bright.

How can we deny our sister a future because of one youthful mistake?

One that could have been tragic.

But she knows that, and she's sorry.

There's no telling what Miss Lena can be under our close supervision.

Well�

that's a generous gesture,

especially coming from you, Whitley.

It's coming from me too.

Well�

maybe I will recommend to the board that you not be suspended this time.

Oh, thank you.

But you will be held responsible for the damages.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, don't thank me yet.

I'm making arrangements for you to work with Mr. Gaines

to pay for it. Ha!

Look, um�

nobody's ever done anything like that for me before.

Thanks.

Um, maybe you should go to your room

and collect what's ever left of your belongings.

Right.

You know,

every time I'm just about to write you off,

you turn around and do something human.

Don't put your pencil away yet, Kim.

- Hmm. Miss Firestarter's moving in with you.

You like this color?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0