Original subtitles

Well, Mr. Gaines, what's with the formal wear here?

- Oh. It's for Professor Rodman. - Fat Rodman, the history teacher?

Well, I'm afraid he is history.

Dropped dead of a heart attack.

Wait a minute. Professor Rodman? When? How?

Yeah, it happened yesterday up at Roscoe's House of Pancakes.

He was on his fourth order of flapjacks

when God called for the check.

The funeral's in a little while up at Hillman on the Hillside.

I had Rodman two semesters ago.

Always wore this Bullets jacket that didn't fit.

You know, he had a season ticket ever since they moved to Washington.

- Season ticket? - Yeah.

I'd go to the funeral, but I have classes all day.

Well, my schedule is open, as usual.

I can go and pay respects for both of us.

That's pretty sensitive of you, Ron.

Well, it's times like these you have to think of others.

Do you know what row his season ticket was in?

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember ?

? That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? Than where you come from ?

? Than where you come from ?

Well, Professor Rodman is at that big Bullets game in the sky.

Ron, when you go, it will be in the opposite direction.

I can't believe you went to the man's funeral

to get his season ticket.

That is colder than a lawyer chasing an ambulance, man.

You hurt me, Pythagoras.

I admit, at first I went to snag the man's season tickets,

but I came away with much more.

- More? - Yeah.

I came away with two season tickets.

Wait a minute, man.

There is a waiting list a mile long for Bullets season tickets,

and you got two of them?

Fifteen hundred for the pair.

I had to beat the widow down from $2,000.

Ron, that is despicable.

So despicable that you don't want in?

- Not that despicable. - I thought you'd overcome your grief.

I need half of your cash by this afternoon

because Widow Rodman is headed for Las Vegas.

- Life goes on. - That's right.

Well, I'm down.

Whitley and I just started this nest egg checking account

but there's plenty of time to build that nest.

- Go on. I got a class. - Wait.

Are you giving a quiz on the first day?

That's what it says, doesn't it? I am a teacher now.

Last year I was a teacher's assistant, they got over.

This year, when they leave my class, they'll have learned something.

Well, I'm glad I'm not in your class.

Ooh! I take that back.

You are one equation I would like to solve.

Are you free-

Hey, why are you pushing on my neck? Don't wrinkle my suit!

Hmm. Calculus.

That's a sedative invented by Sir Isaac Newton.

Let the boredom begin.

Who's the teach in here, homie?

You're hugging him.

Really?

Okay, settle down. Settle down, class.

This is calculus one-point-one and I am Mr. Wayne.

Oh, excuse me, the class is closed. You're late.

Closed? Come on. I'm only a minute late.

Besides, it's the first day and I don't know my way around Hillman yet.

Well, excuses like that won't hold water in the real world, miss�

James. Lena James.

Well, get here on time, people.

If the door is closed, please do not bother opening it.

Okay. You have 15 minutes to complete this quiz on the board.

Uh-uh.

I ain't never had no teacher give no test on no first day.

Well, you have obviously never had a teacher like�

Mr. Wayne, Miss James.

What a day I have had.

Well, I have been waiting for you, my sweetness.

Martini, extra dry, one olive.

Honey, it's the middle of the day.

Yes, well, all the more reason for a little afternoon delight, huh?

Didn't you go to Professor Rodman's funeral this morning?

Yes, I did.

Then, don't you think this a little inappropriate?

I don't know, Jaleesa. There is something about death

that just makes me feel, well, you know, uh�

I want to enjoy life to the fullest.

Come on. Let's go upstairs.

Oh, honey, I have been all over town looking for a place for my temp agency

and I'm just exhausted.

I'll take a rain check, okay?

Rain check?

Jaleesa, honey, I'm not a car wash.

I have my needs.

And so do I, and right now, it's office space.

Everywhere I went today was either too expensive

or they wanted me to sign some long-term lease.

I am not gonna go back begging for my old job back.

Calm down. Calm down. Look, tell you what, I've got an idea.

Why don't you just set up shop here at the house.

My temp agency here?

Yeah. Well, temporarily, until you find a space.

- This is your home. - Uh-uh. You stop that. This is our home.

- I feel like I'd just be in the way. - Nonsense.

You know I love having you near me.

Oh.

Honey, how can I thank you?

- Well, you can- - So�

One minute, Professor Rodman is sitting here

eating a double cheeseburger.

The next minute,

he's taking a dirt nap.

- Life's a crap shoot. - I know.

Now, am I snake eyes?

Professor Rodman smoked three packs a day,

ate excessively and was an alcoholic. Now, you don't do that.

Yeah, but I have Velma.

- Hey, hey, got something for you. - Ooh. Yeah.

Hey, man, it's $750. It's all there.

I'm making sure the bank didn't shortchange you.

Get out of here.

What did Whitley say about all these little eggs leaving the nest?

Cheap, cheap, cheap.

Hey, hey, hey. I called her, and she was out.

It's no big deal.

All I did was withdraw my share from our account.

Famous last words.

Excuse me, can I get some collard greens, some fried chicken,

and some cornbread with extra butter.

Well, your pressure is a little high.

I knew it.

How long do I have, doc?

Don't panic.

Unfortunately, hypertension is very prevalent in Black males.

We don't get any break, do we?

Dwayne, I am so angry I could scream.

Ooh. What's the matter, baby? I called you.

Well, I was shopping. At least I thought I was shopping.

This was supposed to be our new canopy bed.

One-day sale, 40% off to be held until our wedding day.

I went to write the check. And you know what happened?

- The computer said insufficient- - The computer said insufficient funds.

How did you know?

That's what I called you about.

Uh, I needed to withdraw half the money.

Let me get this straight.

You withdrew money from our account without asking me.

Yeah, I called you, but you were out.

Did it occur to you that I might return?

I needed the money in a hurry.

Big drug deal going down, Dwayne?

I can't believe you took money from our account

without my permission.

Wait. You didn't consult me about the bed, did you?

Of course, I didn't. You don't know anything about furniture.

You're from Brooklyn.

What did you need the money for anyway?

Season tickets to a Bullets game.

That's what I said.

Dwayne,

don't you think that furniture is a bigger priority?

- No. - No!

Not yet.

- When then? - When� we get closer to the wedding.

Of course, we could always get married

from those season seats at the basketball game.

Well, honey, $750 only buys you one season ticket.

One?

You're going to all those basketball games alone?

No. Um�

See, Ron bought the other one.

Wait a minute. No. They're from Professor Rodman.

You tell that fat drunk to stay out of our lives.

He died, Whitley.

I'm sorry.

Look, sweetie, I'm going through a lot of pressure,

and I just thought going to the games would be a good diversion,

you know, to help me relax.

- I thought I helped you relax. - Baby, you do,

but you know how much I love basketball.

Apparently, you love it more than you love me.

No, I don't love it more than I love you,

but just because we're engaged

doesn't mean I'm gonna be giving up my own life.

Well, that makes two of us�

that won't be giving up anything.

As you can see from these contracts,

I'm requiring each of you to devote extra hours every day

and on alternate weekends.

Wonderful!

You are gonna work harder, harder in my class

than you have ever worked before.

Yesterday's quiz scores

indicate just how much work needs to be done.

See, y'all don't get it,

but we are on a hidden video program.

Where's the camera, Mr. Wayne?

Ha, ha, ha.

There's nothing funny about yesterday's quiz scores.

You gonna count that test?

Why shouldn't I?

'Cause it's the first day, maybe.

I mean, we should be getting to know one another.

Ooh. Well, I already know quite a bit about you, Miss James.

Let's see. You're from Lincoln High in Baltimore.

You're here on a partial engineering scholarship.

You and I both have an obligation to see that it isn't wasted.

The bottom of the curve is not a good place to start.

Ooh!

Wait a minute. Hold on, Mr. Wayne.

Why did you have to broadcast my quiz scores

to the whole class?

Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. If I did, I apologize.

Now, if you will just sign your contracts, we can get on with today's lesson.

- Is there gonna be a quiz every day? - Yes.

There will be a review quiz

at the beginning of each class.

Excellent.

Review what? We just got here.

If you will just sign your contracts, we can get on-

Wait a minute. Hold it. We have rights too.

As a matter of fact, our tuition pays this man's salary.

We can go to the administration and complain about this

or we can tear it up.

Okay. That's it. You, out of my classroom, please.

- Fine. - Yes.

Hey, Lena is right.

Come on, y'all, tear it up. Tear it up! Tear it up!

Excuse me. Excuse me, Mr. Wayne, um�

I think they stole this from Glory.

Mr. Gaines, there is nothing wrong with you.

Then why do I have shortness of breath?

Do you exercise?

I used to walk the dog,

- but we had to get rid of him. - Why?

He attacked Velma!

So, Mr. Gaines, walk alone and switch to a low-fat diet.

No red meat, no ice cream, no gravy-

Hold it now, Dr. Killjoy.

Mashed potatoes without gravy

is like Soul Train without Don Cornelius.

If I'm gonna kick the bucket,

I'd rather kick the bucket with a pork chop in my mouth.

There you go, Pookie.

It was so selfish of me

to think of squandering away our hard-earned dollars

on something as extravagant as a bed.

Marriage is, what, two, three, maybe 16 years away?

Although if you wait too long, I may be unable to conceive children.

- Whitley, I had a real long day, so- - I was just thinking, Dwayne.

Maybe we should pawn my engagement ring

so you can get tickets to football games too.

Excuse me, Dwayne. Dwayne, may I speak with you?

Certainly, Colonel. I was on my way to the pawn shop.

What's she gonna pawn?

Our relationship. She hates me.

Well, evidently, so do your students.

Dwayne, what do you feel when you teach, son?

What do you mean?

Well, do you feel powerful?

Colonel Taylor,

high expectations for my students is not a power trip.

And you, as a man of the military, should understand the value of discipline.

Yes, but in the military,

we prepare our people for the possibility of war.

Oh, okay. As far as I'm concerned, there is a war out there

- and our best weapon is education. - Okay.

I'm training green berets here, sir!

I don't question your motivation, just your technique.

Now, the secret is to get them to learn out of a sense of accomplishment,

not fear.

- How many have complained? - Well, enough.

Enough and I've heard from a few parents also.

Don't worry, don't worry.

I have assured them that all will be copacetic, okay.

So this means the mutineers will be returning?

Yes, and I expect you to reach an understanding.

Well, Colonel Taylor, what we have here is a philosophical difference

because I am not about to lose face.

Would you rather lose your job?

Snaps?

Now, you're expected inside a car with ten other clowns

at seven o'clock, okay?

Now, it's ring number three.

Terrence, Terrence, business is booming.

Would you please go and distribute some more flyers for me?

But, Moms, I've hit every address and windshield in Hillman.

Then go to Avery.

And don't call me Moms.

Hey, man. You are doing really beautiful work.

Oh, hey. Fine, fine, Freddie. Mmm. Tell me something.

When are you and I gonna swim upstream?

When we're the last two people on earth

and there are no more batteries.

Freddie, hi, I am very busy,

so would you please tell me quickly what it is I have not been aware of,

and how I can raise my consciousness?

Well, my sister, I find at this time in my life,

I am unable to carry on my struggle against the injustices on the planet

without the help of the presidents�

Presidents Washington, Lincoln, Jackson, Grant�

Dinero, baby. I need some cash.

The price of tattoos is skyrocketing.

Oh, well. There comes a time when we all need money

but, um, mind you, these are all temporary positions.

- That's cool. - Okay.

Look. Here's something up your alley.

- Outdoors. - Perfect.

- Fresh air- - I love it.

Selling Ella Mae Cosmetics door to door.

Ella Mae Cosmetics?

They test their chemicals on helpless bunny rabbits.

I would rot in hell before I'd work for those people.

Okay.

What about as a waitress at Signorelli's?

You mean that place where they serve

a hefty portion of sexism?

Hello? The waitresses wear thigh-high miniskirts.

The special of the day is implant parmigiana.

Wake up, my sister. Where is your feminine pride?

What do you want me to do, Jaleesa?

Help destroy humanity?

The Chemco Corporation is notorious for dumping toxic waste.

Come on. What else can you give me?

Strychnine, Freddie. I can give you strychnine.

You are a lunatic.

Why? Because I'm ethical?

Now you've got to have some responsible clients.

Freddie, you would find objection with Mother Teresa.

Well, she doesn't do enough work with those people.

Freddie, Freddie� Just�

Jessa�

Remember you were telling me how busy you are?

Well, look at all this stuff.

Yes, Freddie, I'm busy. Very, very busy.

Well, that got me to thinking, I could work here.

- Huh? - Here?

Uh-huh.

With me? For money?

Oh, Jaleesa, you are so good to me. I love that.

Oh, no! Hold it! Freddie! Wait a minute!

So� you don't like my teaching methods, and you think I should be replaced.

Well, I don't like what's going on in the real world,

and the only way we can deal with that is by what we do in this classroom.

My father drives a bus in Brooklyn, not because he isn't intelligent,

because he didn't have an opportunity to go to college.

But you all do.

You all do.

But regardless of your degree, I am telling you,

they will think you know less than you do because you're Black.

It's not enough for you to be equal.

You have to be better. We have to be better.

And it's my job to see that you and we are.

I guess I got a little too pumped but I take this very seriously.

So that's where I'm coming from. Anybody doesn't like it, there's the door.

Okay.

Well, how about we wipe the slate clean�

�and start again.

Does this mean that the quiz doesn't count?

Yes, uh� I have yours right here, and� no.

But� but there's still a test every week,

isn't there?

Yes, there is a test every week, just maybe not every day.

People, I expect a lot from you.

So, let's get down.

Suppose, the founder of calculus, Sir Isaac Newton,

were to walk through that door,

he would probably say to us�

Yo, homey!

Try this on.

Study something. I'm just gonna be a minute.

This is� Ron, this is not the time or place.

I'm not sure I'm gonna do the season ticket thing.

What? Don't tell me you'd rather have some canopy wedding bed

other than watch the Bullets play basketball?

No, but I have to start thinking and acting like a married man.

And that means doing things you don't wanna do.

You been watching too much Oprah, man.

- All right. Come on. - Hey! Ow!

Watch out! Somebody might be videotaping this.

Where were� Oh, yes, calculus.

Suppose the founder of calculus,

Sir Isaac Newton, were to walk through that door,

he would probably say to us�

I'm sorry, Pookie.

Pookie?

That's your man?

- That's right, you little barracuda. - Whitley�

I had no idea you were going through a major crisis, Pook.

The� the crisis is over.

I'm sorry about the bed and everything.

I love you.

Hmm.

I'm very fond of you, too, Miss Gilbert.

- Fond? - Excuse me.

Suppose the founder of calculus, Sir Isaac Newton,

were to come through that door, he would probably find it�

locked!

You're so funny, Mr. Wayne. You're funny.

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