Original subtitles

Kimberly, isn't it exquisite?

Eighteen-karat gold hardware.

Feel that calfskin. It's like a baby's bottom.

I thought you were strapped for cash.

That's why I bought it.

Go on.

It was on sale, 50% off.

So I saved money by spending money.

Whitley, you don't have a job.

I know, Kimberly, but listen to this.

I was balancing my checkbook the other day,

and I found 500 extra dollars.

Don't ask me where it came from,

but all of a sudden, there was this cash with no purpose at all.

It was fate.

No, it was your rent.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me, come what may ?

? Mmm ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it, hey! ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it! ?

? We can take it, hey ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from! ?

It was my turn to pay rent this month.

Why don't you just return the briefcase?

- Final sale, Kimberly. - Oh, Whitley, no.

- There's Jaleesa. Act like it's yours. No, I will not.

Hey, ladies, how you doing?

Hi.

- Well, hello, Mr. Gaines. Oh!

What is the catch of the day?

Me.

Hi, JV. How you be?

I be just fine, Whitley.

Actually, I have a romantic evening planned

with Gary tonight at the racetrack.

Ooh, la-la�

Perhaps you'd like to place a wee little wager for me.

Well, sure. Favorite or a long shot?

What's the longest shot they got?

What happened, Whitley?

Well, why don't you just take these $2

and parlay it into the rent money.

What�

What did I do to deserve you?

I� I pray. I lit a candle.

Whitley, I even said 22 Hail Marys.

Child, I ain't even Catholic.

Oh, Lord, why are you testing me?

Well, this is not a test,

but you are going to get an eviction notice.

Oh, gosh.

Mr. Gaines, you wouldn't evict us.

No, no, you're all my favorites, but now, Velma don't play that.

- Jaleesa� - Velma don't play�

�don't� don't worry, honey.

My daddy's sending me my tuition check any day now.

If you spend your tuition check for your rent,

what are you going to do for your tuition?

Yes, what are you going to do for your tuition?

I'll cross that debt when I get to it.

You know, there is a segment of the population

that solves its monetary problems in a most peculiar way.

They work.

Oh, please. If it isn't Ron "Don King" Johnson.

This pay party's getting more promotion than the Holyfield-Foreman fight.

Two hundred and fifty people paying $5 per head?

I'm going to be rolling in dough.

This is a Ron Johnson event. I will be serving chexie mixie.

Whoo. Spending the big bucks.

Does BET know about this event?

They will in a minute.

- Hey. How is everything. - All right.

Have you seen Terrence?

Uh-uh. No, I haven't seen him.

Mmm. He should've been back from Washington by now.

What's he doing in Washington?

Probably playing Nintendo with the vice-president.

Pretty good, Walter.

No, no. I financed a weekend field trip for him to visit the Smithsonian.

Oh, that's great. I love the Smithsonian.

You just can't learn enough about Mamie Eisenhower.

- Brother, don't put the blame on Mamie. - Oh, okay, okay.

- Hey, Dad. - Hey, there you are.

I've been looking for you. All right.

So, how was the trip, huh?

Oh, it was great. It was great.

I met these three guys from Howard, and they took me to a rally.

Yeah, yeah, that's great, but what about the Smithsonian?

Oh. See, we drove by there on our way to the rally,

which was incredible, let me tell you, truly enlightening, Dad.

Wait, wait, Terrence, Terrence, I paid for that trip

so that you could be enlightened by the Smithsonian.

Dad, I have decided to surrender to the will of Allah.

Say what?

I've become a Muslim.

I don't know how to thank you for sending me to DC.

I feel like I've almost become a new man.

Wait. Can you get me a discount on them bean pies?

Sorry, man.

Terrence, son, we've got to talk, all right?

Great. Think we can make it tomorrow?

I mean, I've still got evening prayers.

Oh, yeah.

East is that way, right?

No, it's that way.

I just don't think I'm cut out for this kind of work.

You begged me to get you this interview.

Now, my boss, Mr. Ludlow, is doing me a favor by seeing you today.

And I appreciate it, Kimberly.

It's just that this place doesn't have the right ambience for me.

You've been to ten other interviews in the last two days

and none of them have the right "ambience."

What more do you want?

People with a pulse?

Good afternoon, Mister�

Hendricks.

Rest easy. We'll be right with you.

- Hello, Kimberly. - Hello.

And this must be Whitley.

Nice veins.

Well, I'll be getting back to work.

Oh, no, no, Kimmie. Stay with Whitley.

Oh, she can't stay.

No, Kim is needed in the serenity suite.

She's quite popular around here.

We love her to death.

Good luck.

Tell me, Whitley,

have you much experience working with the dead?

I� I buried my goldfish, Gomer, in a matchbox.

Good.

What is that smell?

Oh, it's formaldehyde.

You'll come to love it as I do.

Mr. Ludlow, what exactly would this job entail?

Oh, helping people like Mr. Hendricks here to look their best.

Ah, the chapel is right next door.

Catchy, isn't it?

I love a good dirge.

Well, let's begin by showing you our crematorium.

Around here, we refer to it as "copping some rays."

It's our pride and joy.

Sounds fascinating, but, Mr. Ludlow,

I really have to be somewhere else right now.

Just sort of�

Oh, like you, Whitley. You're so full of life.

I admire that in the living.

Well, I hope you'll consider this position, but if not,

I'll be seeing you.

I think, if anything Terrence feels this strongly about

deserves more time than he's given it.

You don't become a Muslim over one weekend.

I've done some crazy things in my life, man.

I went from being a blond, to a brunette, to a redhead, to a Jheri curl,

all in the same day.

If Terrence wants to explore different religions, it's okay.

Hey, look, I respect the Muslim faith.

They've done a lot to elevate the Black community,

but Terrence has a bad habit

of becoming absorbed in something one day,

and the next day, he's forgotten it.

That reminds me of myself.

Except in my case, it's old age.

Man, if he doesn't have the discipline to be a Muslim,

- he going to find out soon enough. - Mmm-hmm.

Trust me. If the daily prayers don't do him in,

celibacy going to kill him.

Oh, Walter.

- Dad, Walter. - How you doing?

Yeah, right.

- I'll catch you later. - Sure.

- Sit on down. Come on. - Okay.

You look a little tired.

What's the matter? Those sunrise prayers getting to you?

Yeah. How'd you know?

Believe it or not, I know a little bit about that Muslim faith.

- Really? - Mmm-hmm.

You know, until this weekend,

I didn't even realize I was insufficiently Black.

- Insufficiently Black? - Mmm-hmm.

At the rally, they said we need to assume

political and cultural leadership of the earth

by boycotting the white man, our oppressors.

Mmm-hmm. This means you're going to disassociate yourself

from your white oppressor of a mother?

Oh, no, I don't think so.

I'll still visit her at Christmas.

But as a Muslim, you don't celebrate Christmas.

Oh, yeah, you're right. I don't.

Son, look, I have nothing against you exploring different ideologies,

but do you really know what being a Muslim is?

Oh, sure. You have to follow the three pillars of Islam.

There are five pillars of Islam.

I was thinking of the three Articles of Faith.

There are five Articles of Faith.

And as a matter of fact, if I remember correctly,

pork is restricted from the Muslim diet.

So if you don't mind, I'll just take this bacon.

Wait. No bacon?

No bacon. Mmm-mmm.

I told you I needed 100 more flyers, all right?

Now, make sure you get them to me.

Come in.

Hey, baby, how was your interview?

- Deadly. - Oh.

Didn't get the job?

I got an offer.

I don't know. I can't see you working in the Rest 'N Peace mortuary.

That makes two of us.

My uncle owns a funeral parlor.

There are big bucks in bereavement.

'Course, not as big as the bucks I'll make on this party Friday night.

Ron, are those pay parties really profitable?

Oh, affirmative.

Especially since it's a Ron Johnson freaky, deaky fun-fest.

Wait a minute, man.

Corn Nuts and some warm Gatorade is not a freaky, deaky fun-fest.

I'll have you know I'm serving coolers this year.

You need more than coolers, Ron.

You need me.

Galas by Gilbert.

I've given swim parties, cocktail parties, tea parties,

beaucoup parties.

I was weaned on them.

Well, look here, Weany,

I'm strictly solo.

Come on, Ron.

Look, with my expertise in superlative soirees,

I am sure to double our money.

Wait. You don't have a single. How are you going to double it?

I got money.

- From my daddy. - That money is for your tuition.

You've already spent some on your rent.

It's called an investment, Dwayne.

If I go in on this party with Ron,

I can make money with that money.

Exactly how much money are we talking about?

Enough to make it worth your while.

All right!

The only thing he's making is a mess. Which he will be cleaning up by himself.

Hold it. Hold it, hold it.

You think a man of my financial savvy

would allow Whitley to invest in something that wasn't surefire?

The last time I heard brother say "surefire,"

he was talking about a beef jerky franchise.

House of Jerks?

That was a gold mine.

Like our party. Right, partner?

Right, partn�

Right, partner.

You won't be sorry, Ron. I'm sure to double our money.

Or double your trouble.

Hey, if you feel it, say�

- ? Ow, ho ? - ? Ow, ho ?

- ? Wicky! Wicky! ? - ? Wicky! Wicky! ?

? Feel it! Feel it! Feel it! ?

People, will you please form a single line and have your money ready.

That's $5 per person and two for $8.99.

Traveler's checks, food stamps, money orders are not acceptable.

Form a single line, move quickly and enjoy your evening.

Tyrone, you said we were going to a party at the Biltmore.

This is the Biltmore, the Biltmore warehouse.

Hi, Jaleesa. That will be $8.99, please.

Can you cover me, baby?

I seem to have left my money at the bank.

Well, I seem to be leaving you at the door.

- See you. - Go, girl.

You throw one mean party.

You mean we throw a mean party, partner.

I got to admit I was wrong. This party is jamming.

We're going to have to jam it in the can. We've got to be out of here by 1:30.

Not to worry, partner. When I saw people still paying to get in at midnight,

I called the owner myself and asked for a few more hours.

Ooh, I like that. Brains and booty.

? Go, Amy! Go, Amy! Go, Amy! ?

Just keep that party going.

Look at all that green!

My kind of roughage.

I'm rich again. I'm rich again!

I should do this as a career.

"Galas by Gilbert. When cocktail wienies just won't do."

If we did this every week, hello, Fortune 500.

I could afford my bi-monthly herbal wraps again.

I could get a drum synthesizer and a sapphire pinky ring.

Excuse me, Harry, Leona,

we have a visitor, the fire marshal.

Yo, bro! We are burning down the house.

You got some party going on here, man.

Yes, officer. I mean, Your Marshalness.

This is the hottest party in town.

We do have a special for civil servants.

You get in for half price.

Did you happen to have seen this sign up here?

"Maximum capacity, 150 persons"?

Well, as you can see, maximum capacity is far beyond that.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, what's that?

You're in violation of Code F 1700.4.1, Section B.

It's a fine for $1,000.

$1,000!

Mr. Marshal, how does a small contribution

to the firemen's fund�

How's that sound to you?

Sounds like 90 days in jail.

All right, everybody, clear the premises! Got to go! Got to go!

The party's over?

And so is my education.2

Hey, Jaleesa. Hey, baby, what's up? What are you'll doing?

How about lunch at The Pit, babe?

How about breakfast at Tiffany's?

Why is your jewelry laying out?

Um, I was looking for something to wear to a party I'm going to later.

No. She's looking for something to hock so she can pay her tuition.

Thank you, Jaleesa.

Well, how about this?

Oh, Mm grandmama's hatpin.

No, I can't sell this.

All right, well, how about these?

Great granddaddy's cuff links.

Have you no heart?

Have you any money?

- The pocket watch and the pearls. - There you go.

Whitley, how can you hock your family heirlooms?

I have to. I don't have tuition money.

Yeah, but this jewelry means so much to you.

So does a diploma.

Jaleesa's right.

If I tell my daddy that I gambled all my money away,

he'll kill me.

Dwayne, why didn't you try to stop me?

What good is an umbrella in a typhoon?

Don't do anything. I've got some errands to run,

and I want you to meet me in The Pit in an hour.

Come on, baby, cheer up. We'll take care of it.

He's so wonderful.

Now I don't have to worry about anything.

You know, Dwayne's going to get tired of bailing you out all the time.

No, he won't, Jaleesa. He loves me.

Sure, he loves you now,

but sooner or later, he might not like you.

Dwayne, I got some bad news.

Somebody broke into our apartment.

They trashed the place and stole your computer.

What?

Dwayne's computer is gone and the place is a mess.

Ron, you scared the living daylights out of me.

Did you hear me right?

They stole your computer.

Your baby? Poindexter?

Poindexter. Honey, I know how much that computer meant to you.

Wait a minute. Everybody, just relax.

I took the computer.

- You took it? - Why?

I sold it back to the store.

What in the hell did you do that for?

I got your tuition money.

I can't believe you did that.

Are you feeling all right?

I can't take that, Dwayne.

Are you feeling all right?

This is for you, Whitley.

I already have the money.

I hocked my granddaddy's watch and my pearls.

I told you not to do anything.

Take this money, go and get your jewelry back

before somebody else gets it.

I can't believe you love me that much.

- Baby� - That makes two of us.

Hey, Dad.

Hey. There you are.

Sorry I'm late, but I was reading.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah, I read this when I was about your age. Mmm-hmm.

- Really? You mean, it's that old? - Yeah.

The Black Muslims in America, by C. Eric Lincoln.

It is very interesting, Dad.

You ought to realize, this isn't the only interpretation of the faith.

You should read some Malcolm X.

I know, I know, Dad.

I haven't started to read the copy of the Koran you gave me.

You know, maybe they have that out on tape.

That way, I could listen to it while I'm jogging.

You saying this is too much of a commitment for you?

Oh, no, no, there's just so much I don't know.

You're really serious about this, aren't you?

Very.

I'm proud of you, son.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Now, which sounds better?

Mohammed Abdul Taylor or Terrence X?

- Hi. - Hi.

- I've been waiting for you. - Yes.

You got your jewelry back?

No, I did not.

Oh, no, the store was closed.

I don't know. I never went.

You never went?

Dwayne, it means a lot that you were trying to help me like that,

but it's my responsibility.

I should take the loss, not you.

I'm sorry, excuse me.

I thought I was talking to Whitley Gilbert?

Is Whitley Gilbert here?

Don't tease me, Dwayne. I'm trying to be mature.

I know, and it's wonderful.

I just� I really wanted to help you, baby.

You always help me.

I got to help myself.

Oh, listen to you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What happened with the money I gave you from my computer?

Poindexter. Whitley.

Wow.

- What did you do? - What I wanted to do.

Oh, baby, thank you.

And now, I'm off to my new job.

God, I hate that word.

It's never too late for a make-over.

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