Original subtitles

- Marketing is so fascinating. - Mmm.

Let me know when you want me to turn the page for you.

I think I can manage.

Can I get you something to eat?

No, thanks.

Something to drink?

I'm fine.

Something to kiss?

Dwayne.

You're already making "A's."

I got to study hard to do well in marketing.

Okay, okay.

I really am interested in marketing, so tell me more, please.

Okay.

Marketing is the art of getting people in the mood to be receptive.

Oh, I see.

And the four "P's" in marketing are

product, packaging, promotion, placement.

Ooh.

Well, the way you're packaging this product you're promoting�

I'd like to place this.

If you two suck face any harder, you'll have one head.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me, come what may ?

? Mmm ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it, hey! ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it! ?

? We can take it, hey ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from! ?

May I have some French fries, please?

No. No fries. maybe a burger.

What am I talking about? I don't eat dead cow.

A soda.

Uh, make that a diet soda.

I'm sorry, Mr. Gaines.

I'm having a hard time making decisions today.

Oh, me too.

I'm trying to decide how much patience I have.

Well, it is not me.

It has to do with the way the planets line up.

It affects the way we feel, the way we think

and what we say to each other�

And what we wear on our head.

Are you okay, Freddie?

Well, how can I be okay, Kimberly, when Mercury is in retrograde?

This means a very weird time astrologically.

Uh-huh.

Haven't you noticed anybody acting strange today?

Other than you?

Exhibit "A." Whitley. She's actually been nice to me.

Yesterday, she said she likes my tattoos.

That's because she finally collided with the planet Dwayne.

Hello, Kimberly, Freddie-la.

Love that perky chapeau.

It brings out the essence of your whimsy.

Uh-huh. Mercury in retrograde.

What is she talking about?

Astrology.

Who cares about the stars in the skies?

I have stars in my eyes.

I made�

an "A" in my marketing class.

All right!

And I owe it all to Dwayne.

What did he do?

It's not what he did, Kim.

It's� it's who he is.

My man.

My muse.

My sweet inspiration!

Oh, my goodness.

I liked it better when she was alone and crabby.

Ron, I need to talk to you, man.

- Later. - Sorry. Now.

Sorry.

To be continued.

This better be life-threatening.

Yeah. Man, um�

I think you better sit down.

Something happen to my family?

No.

Something happen to your family?

- No. - Well, what is it?

I� I got, um�

This is a test paper.

Look at the top.

You got a "C."

- Loretta! - Hey, Ron!

Ron, I've never gotten a "C" in my life, man.

Congratulations. You're no longer a virgin. Loretta!

Ron! Ron, this is serious.

Take mediocrity like a man.

I don't know what's happening to me.

I'll tell you what's happening to you. Whitley.

No. I study with Whitley every night.

Correction. She studies, you drool.

But she's so beautiful, man.

Dwayne, snap out of it!

You're right. You're right.

I got studying to catch up on.

I got a grad school application to fill out.

Ever hear the expression, "Just say no"?

- I'm telling you. I can't help myself. - Well, then help Whitley.

If you're getting "C's" she's got to be getting "Q's."

You're right.

And look on the bright side.

If I don't catch Loretta, you won't have to worry about your GPA.

'Cause you'll be DOA.

Loretta!

Hello, my future Nobel laureate.

Huh?

Guess whose gray matter is rubbing off on me?

I made another "A" in my marketing class.

Really?

I mean, we've been spending all this time together,

and you're really acing that difficult marketing class.

That's great, Whitley, that's really great.

No need to ask you what you made on your test.

Oh, no, you don't.

Come on, Dwayne.

Don't be modest.

Flaunt that grade.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the "A's."

�a platform shoe, peace symbol,

and the dashiki.

Wait a minute. And we have an eight-by-ten glossy of Miss Lola Falana.

Ooh!

All right, can you guess where they came from?

Fred Sanford's junkyard?

No, they came from a time capsule buried by Hillman students back in 1970.

Excuse me, please, but what is a time capsule?

It's where people bury things that are meaningful

and dig them up later.

Like dogs with bones.

Or women with grudges.

What's have you got there?

It's a Shirley Chisholm campaign button.

The first sister elected to the House of Representatives.

Well, there's hope for you yet.

But could I trade you my Shirley Chisholm for your Lola Falana?

Does it hurt when you think?

He wouldn't know.

What else was going on 20 years ago, Mr. Johnson?

Well, I was pretty busy being born.

Took up most of my year.

No, I mean things that made 1970 noteworthy.

Whoo!

Nelson Mandela had been in prison for seven years.

Men were still dying in Vietnam.

And John Lennon was still alive

and Jimmy Hendrix had just died, right after Woodstock.

I know because that's where my parents met.

Which explains the way you dress.

Is that all that you can focus on? Externals?

Yeah.

Face it, Freddie, you are a time capsule from the '60s.

And I am proud of it.

People were committed then.

It wasn't just "me," but "we."

What happened to our sense of humor?

All right, let's channel all this energy in a more positive direction,

like deciding what objects we're going to place

in the Hillman 1990 time capsule.

I know exactly what should be put in there.

Something that represents awareness

and suggests the echo of the cosmos.

Why not donate your head?

It could represent space.

Now, you listen.

What we need are two people to head up this project.

Two people of extraordinary energy,

of divergent points of view.

We need�

Winnifred Brooks�

- �and Ron Johnson. - Uh�

Ho, ho, ho. Oh, Ray�

What are you doing?

I'm trying to fill out my grad school application.

What, you're getting a PhD in couch potato?

It's not funny. I'm stuck. Look at this first question.

"Name"?

Ron!

"How do you see yourself in 20 years?"

If you keep staring at Whitley's picture and eating Whitley's cookies,

you're going to up one fat, frustrated failure.

Have a nice life.

I've got it.

The perfect symbol for the time capsule.

La Toya Jackson's Playboy spread.

I cannot work with him.

You know, I think we should include a piece of the Berlin Wall

to show international solidarity.

What does Eastern Europe have to do with us?

Your limitations are boundless, Ron.

Wait, I agree with my brother.

It's time we stopped looking at history through the white light of eurocentrism.

- Ooh� - Very eloquent, Terrence.

I read that this morning in a pamphlet. Changed my entire world view. I think.

Speaking of world views,

let's not get too trapped by the male perspective. Oink-oink.

Well, I agree.

Let's include a copy of Shahrazad Ali's,

The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Black Woman.

I cannot believe you said that.

You could use an open-handed smack in the mouth.

Children! Children!

What is this disharmony?

We are deciding what to bury in the Hillman time capsule.

And we cannot seem to agree.

Well, take it from me.

My past experience has proven that there is but one solution to all problems.

Listen to your heart.

Shut up.

No, really. I know what I'm talking about.

You need something that will reflect everyone's point of view.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

This is the age of video.

Why don't you make a video?

Mind meld!

It's perfect in both form and content.

It could bridge the gap of our multi-faceted generation.

Have you ever considered becoming a mime?

Hey, I have a video camera.

Great!

And I know just the person who should be directing this,

someone whose imagination has been sparked by the fires of love.

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

Velma's got dibs on me tonight.

Now, where do I see myself in 20 years?

Twenty years�

Oh, yeah.

Hi, honey.

You're home.

Dwayne, I have to talk to you.

You come over here and give big daddy a kiss first. Come here.

Twenty years of tollhouse cookies certainly have taken their toll.

Baby, I was just sitting here thinking about you.

Why don't you think about changing out of that bath robe

you've been in ever since Oprah Winfrey left the White House.

Now, bunny�

Oh, I'm really going to get it together now, baby. Come here.

Dwayne, you haven't had a job since Ron Johnson fired you.

Oh, now, I was the best damn secretary that man ever had.

What has happened to you?

You had such promise.

You were so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed,

your mama called you "Chipmunk."

Now she calls you "Hedgehog."

It all began with that "C."

Stop using that "C" as an excuse.

You right, baby, it wasn't that "C."

It was you.

I took one look at my little bunny and her brown eyes,

and I fell in love. It was all over.

It certainly is.

What do you mean, baby?

I'm leaving you, Dwayne.

No! No!

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Baby�

Oh, I need a cookie.

- Hi. Hi. - Hello.

Made you some cookies.

Get those things away.

You want me to get fat, don't you?

What's wrong with you, Dwayne?

I got a lot of studying to do.

- Can I help? - No. No, I don't need your help!

You know what I need? I need to be alone right now.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Well, If you want me to leave--

Yes, please, would you?

And take them damn cookies with you.

And now I know how my boss made it up the corporate ladder.

Girlfriend slithered.

Every time my senior vice president walks by,

she just manages to conveniently drop something in his path,

which means she has to bend over and pick it up nice and slow.

Then she puts her chest all in his face

and goes into her, "Ooh, excuse me, Mr. Blackburn."

While he stands there drooling all over himself.

So what's the problem?

Who is it?

- Dwayne. - Hey.

- Hey, Dwayne. - Hi. Hey, Walter.

Is Whitley here? I got to talk to her.

No, but we are.

Is something wrong?

Well, I was kind of terrible to her, and I just wanted to apologize.

Whoa, homey. No, no, no.

First rule of love,

never ever admit when you're wrong, 'cause the women never do.

Oh, no, no. I will admit I was wrong�

Once.

So, why were you so mean to her?

My grades are slipping, and I got a little frustrated�

- And took it out on Whitley. - Yeah.

Instead of just discussing the problem with her, Dwayne?

Good move, jack.

Wrong again, apple head.

The most important thing in a relationship is telling the truth.

See, Dwayne, that's the problem with people.

They fall in love, and they forget who they are,

trying to be people they aren't.

That's why things fall apart.

No, Oprah Winfrey, that's not why they fall apart.

The reason relationships fall apart is because women are selfish and greedy.

They won't let a man have more than one woman at a time.

Walter, I don't think your mama even likes you.

You guys have been a big help.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

See? That's like them excuses for your wild mood swings.

- Oh, please. - PMS, water retention,

got nitrates in the bologna.

Okay.

No Whitley, no cookies.

No relationships ever again.

Let's try this from the top.

Where do I see myself in 20 years?

Twenty years�

Thank you.

Thank you for this Nobel Prize.

It's a fitting reward for the decision I made long ago.

To devote my entire life to science.

To the absolute exclusion of everything else. Thank you.

Dr. Wayne, you remember me?

Whitley Gilbert?

My goodness, I haven't seen you since--

Since you kicked me out of your apartment on account of that "C."

Ah, well, I've been meaning to call you, Whitley.

It's only been 20 years.

I did wait for you to call me.

Then I realized

the most important thing to you was your brain,

and it has to be preserved at all costs.

It will be, at the Smithsonian.

Whitley, now that I've won the Nobel Prize,

please allow me to take you to dinner.

Oh, we'd love to.

Dwayne, this is my husband, Dwight, and my baby, Wheatina.

Whitley, where have you been?

Walking.

Just� walking.

Well, you're an hour late.

- You look terrible. - Mmm-hmm.

I wouldn't go that far.

I'm just not quite myself.

Well, whoever you are, we got to do this video.

I don't think I can do it.

I gave that man the best two weeks of my life.

What happened?

I don't know, but he's mad at me.

Without Dwayne, I'm lost.

Without Dwayne, I'm just a shadow of my former self.

What is that lighting?

Yellow gels will never do. We must have pink.

Life has no meaning.

It just doesn't make sense.

No, no, we don't put Ed Dwight sculptures in the dark.

They must face the light.

The worst thing is I don't know what is my�

The worst thing is I don't know what he's mad at.

I don't know what I did, I don't know what I didn't do.

I'm just so confused.

Freddie, suggestion, dress this tacky T-shirt up.

You know that unfortunate little cap, those bright red stockings you got

that clash with everything tasteful?

Why is everyone standing around?

There's a video to be done.

Where's my cameraman?

Terrence, you wanted to do this, honey.

Work with me, people.

I need you.

Okay, people, rehearsal.

Rolling.

Camera, make it dance.

Smooth and easy.

Okay, smoke, lights and�

action!

? Mother, mother ?

? There's too many of you crying ?

This is a sonogram of a girl

who's going to be our age 20 years from now,

if we don't mess up the world before she has the chance to change it.

If you want to look to the future,

- look to our children. - Great.

Freddie, step into the light.

Terrence, dolly to the right.

? You know we got to find a way ?

? To bring some loving here today ?

I have a medicine pouch for the Earth.

Four kernels of corn, a vial of water, and a spoonful of soil.

You see, man already has everything he needs on this planet,

but if he doesn't start to pay attention,

in 20 years, this may be all he has to start again.

What's going on?

What's going on?

Terrence, down center. Down.

Ronald, hit your mark.

Action!

Where's your object?

In my back pocket.

Well, what is it?

A condom.

Ron, this isn't a sex education video.

Yes, Ron, this isn't very funny.

No it's not.

Neither is AIDS or teenage pregnancy

or anything else a condom is to help prevent.

My message is responsibility, Freddie.

You want to preserve the planet?

I want to protect it.

And music, Kim. Everyone.

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on?

Great.

Okay, people, take five, please.

And good work, everyone.

Can I talk to you for a minute, babe?

Are you going to talk to me or snap at me?

Sweetie, I'm so sorry for the way I acted.

So am I.

I was devastated, but I got over it.

I will survive.

I know you will.

I'm the one having the problems.

What's wrong?

I don't know how to tell you this.

Just say it, Dwayne. I'll be strong.

I'm not doing a very good job of being a student and being in love.

So you want to leave me?

No, I want to stop getting "C's."

You got a "C?"

- Yeah. - Why didn't you tell me?

Because I'm not supposed to be getting "C's."

What have I done to you?

No, baby, it's not what you've done to me. It's what I've done to myself.

I've been basking in the sunshine of your love,

and I've let it fry my brain.

Well, maybe you should concentrate more on your studies and�

and less on me.

Oh, but I don't want to lose you, Whitley.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm going to hold you to that.

Well, hold me tight.

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