Original subtitles

Hillman College.

A typical day in the eatery known as The Pit.

Or is it?

What seems to be an ordinary day

will soon turn into a nightmarish journey into the unknown

for three unsuspecting students.

Whitley Gilbert,

fifth year, prima donna college student with an allergy to numbers,

about to be bushwhacked by the forces of accounting.

Dwayne Wayne,

goofy student turned cool.

Teaching assistant to Colonel Taylor,

about to have his cover blown by a minefield of his own making.

And finally, Freddie Brooks, about to do battle

with something more frightening than anything else�

an afro comb�

and herself.

Come then, on a voyage through time and academia

to a haunted outpost,

somewhere between finals and registration

to a terrifying place where people come face to face

with the demons of fear, doubt and guilt.

It's not a pretty picture.

The next stop� the exam zone.

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me, come what may ?

? Mmm ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it, hey! ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it! ?

? We can take it, hey ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from! ?

This is Susan Clayton.

She's fine and eccentric,

and Whitley Gilbert's accounting professor.

Mind if I join you, Whitley?

Professor Clayton, I'd be honored.

I so rarely get the chance to sit and relax with my students.

This is a treat for me.

Your lecture on trial balances was exhilarating.

You make numbers come alive.

So you're finding class enjoyable?

Tr�s enjoyible.

How are those overdue financial statements coming along?

I know you'll have them in my hand by tomorrow.

I look forward to perusing them with my morning coffee.

Wouldn't you rather have a croissant?

Those financial statements had better be flawless, Whitley.

Or you'll flunk,

and be replaced by a student with an IQ.

Bon app�tit, dear.

You wouldn't consider giving me another extension?

Extensions?

Darling, if you want an extension, go to a beauty shop.

Terrence, hold on. Wait a minute, man.

You ditched my class five straight times.

The class is too early and you're boring.

I'm also stupid for covering you.

If your father finds out,

I'll be out of a job and he'll make my life hell.

Tomorrow I'm there.

Definitely don't miss tomorrow.

- Hey, count on it. - All right, bro.

What's happening tomorrow?

The midterm, Terrence.

The midterm?

The college tradition, you know?

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

Stupid!

That's not supposed to happen.

- Hey. - Well, Mr. Wayne.

So how is my favorite teaching assistant's classes coming?

- Oh. Well. Really well. I'll see you. - So?

- So? - How's my boy doing?

- Terrence? - Yes.

About his best.

You know.

- Excellent, excellent. - Okay. Thank you.

What�

What is he most proficient in?

Trigonometry?

- Uh, well� - Calculus?

Uh� You know. He kind of likes to spread it around.

- He's my boy. He's my boy. - Yeah.

- Okay. - Dwayne, Dwayne.

Son, you be tough with him.

No preferential treatment because he's mine.

Colonel, it's like he's not even there.

Ah, that's my boy. You carry on, son.

All right, thank you.

Colonel, I've got to be straight with you.

Um�

Yeah, I know, I know.

You need those graduate school recommendations, huh?

They're typed up and they're on my desk.

That is what you were hinting about, isn't it? Huh?

Basically. Basically. Yeah, that's kind of it.

- Get out of here. - I'm going.

You crazy kid, you.

Lying to the military. Not the move, G.

Let's go check out Freddie's situation.

Hold on. I'm new at this.

We find Freddie Brooks in a crowded classroom.

She still hasn't combed her hair.

But she's calm, collected,

and for once, she's color-coordinated.

But what she doesn't know is her confident little world

is about to explode into a nightmare that begins with the words�

Class, let me remind you the midterm is tomorrow.

Professor, wouldn't the fairest thing be for you to concentrate

on the more recent reading assignments, say, last week's?

I may give you a few clues as to the primary area of focus.

But that would devalue the entire educational process.

We do not get any clues in the real world.

Ignore her, Professor. Now, we talking multiple choice,

matching, fill in the blank, essay, oral,

or my personal favorite, test cancelled?

Don't worry, Mr. Johnson.

I'll give you the format tomorrow, at the exam.

As for the content-

But it should be on everything.

Professor, I think she inhaled too much incense.

You are to be responsible for everything you have read

or not read this semester.

Great.

You have a good one.

You too. Bye, Professor Randolph.

Thank you.

Well, cuz, obviously you've read How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Personally, if I wanted to be in the real world,

I wouldn't have come to college.

It's just an exam, Ron.

Oh, listen to Miss Serenity.

Last year she ran naked through the quad yelling, "Set me free."

Kim, that was not because of exams.

I was celebrating the anniversary of Woodstock.

And besides, I have learned stress management since then.

If you learned to manage to keep your mouth shut,

we wouldn't be in this predicament.

Don't blame me if you haven't kept up with the reading.

"Don't blame me if you haven't kept up with the reading."

Feeling pretty cocky, aren't we?

- Who said that? - You should know.

You know everything else, smarty pants.

I'm obviously just a little tired.

Jaleesa!

Jaleesa, open up. I left my keys!

Jaleesa!

Whitley, what are you doing here?

Peddling bean pies for the Nation of Islam.

Don't you know what night this is?

Hey, sweetness?

Surely he's not talking to you.

This is the night that I make dinner for Tony.

And you promised you were going to stay away, remember?

That was before Professor Clayton predicted the death of my academic career.

Then go die in the library.

It's packed in there, Jaleesa.

There's more peace and quiet in a barnyard.

Are you still working on that report that you asked me to do two weeks ago?

It was ten days.

Now, Jaleesa, let me in.

I need to concentrate fully, with no distractions.

So do I.

Hey, hey, hey, girl. You know, that dinner's getting cold.

Don't worry. Jaleesa, just breathe on it.

Don't let her bother you. Is she bothering you?

No, baby. I'm fine. I'll be right back in, I promise.

Okay, but don't� keep me waiting too long.

Oh�

What am I supposed to do?

I suggest plan "B."

- Plan "B"? - Be somewhere else.

Now where am I going to go?

How about back to the fifth grade?

Hold it, hold it.

I interrupt this story to check out the woman I almost married.

You know, Tony,

it is just so wonderful to finally be with a man

that knows how to make a woman feel like a woman.

Oh, is that so?

Freeze, S-curl man.

Tony?

Tony! What's the� Tony, honey?

- What's wrong? - Now back to our regular story.

Honey, please. Oh�

Ron?

Help me. I'm in dire need of a place to study.

What's wrong with your place?

Jaleesa's playing Aphrodite, queen of the nightie.

Look no further. Come on in.

Where can I settle in?

Take the couch� please.

- Would you like a pillow? - Please.

Um� uh�

Just try to sit back, relax and study.

Ron!

Got that damn fly.

Okay. Phillis Wheatley.

Identify her. Explain her significance.

Phillis Wheatley was the first African-American female poet.

Her first volume was published in 1773. Ha!

Those are merely the facts. We have to look deeper.

Her work was controversial as it rarely dealt with

the plight of African-Americans.

You call that an answer? Ha!

Did you hear that?

Yeah. It was a good answer.

Yes, but did you hear something else?

No. Pass the chips?

That's the only thing you'll pass.

Did you hear what she said to me?

She asked for the potato chips.

You won't remember anything tomorrow.

- Who are you? - Your best friend and your worst enemy.

- Make up your mind. - I am your mind.

Freddie, there are counselors on campus who can help you with this problem.

Well, there is no problem.

- Yes, there is. - No, there isn't.

- No, there isn't. - Yes, there is.

Gotcha.

Home!

Left my computer on, Ron.

It's not nice to fool Colonel Taylor.

I trusted you with the education of my son!

Wait, wait. I'm� I'm sorry, Colonel.

Sorry won't teach my boy math.

Give me another chance. I could� I�

You had your chance. You lied to me.

No, no, I didn't lie. I didn't lie.

- Really, I- - Ten-hut!

I fought for you.

I know you did.

I wrote grad school recommendations.

You sure did. You sure did.

And this is how you repay me?

How about this?

Don't even try it.

I'll see you-

Dwayne, Terrence knows as much about calculus

as a Rastafarian knows about dippity-do.

He knows a little more than that.

But very little.

I don't care, Dwayne, what it takes. You are going to tutor my son,

and he is going to pass that midterm tomorrow.

I don't think there is enough time.

Oh, you don't?

Well, there's enough time for me to rip up those recommendations.

- There's enough time for- - Hold it!

Colonel Taylor can be a little long-winded at times.

What he's saying in layman's terms,

my boy, Dwayne Wayne is deep, deep, deep, deep deep�

in the exam zone.

Freeze!

Dwayne Wayne, a man faced with the impossible task

of tutoring Terrence,

a boy whose mind has hit the road, Jack.

Hey, have you seen Terrence?

Thank you.

Whitley Gilbert, a woman with an attitude,

with no aptitude, looking for some solitude.

Jesse Jackson, almost.

At last, an oasis of-

Shut up.

You know, I'm tempted to leave her this way. Quiet.

But if she doesn't bust a move on her accounting reports,

which is Black lexicon for, like, "I must try harder,"

her days will be numbered.

Freddie, Freddie Brooks.

She sees no evil, but she certainly hears it.

Okay, we're done with McKay. I say we concentrate on Hurston.

All right, what are you staring at?

We're waiting for you to start talking to yourself again.

My blood sugar was a little low. I am fine, thank you.

Why bother reading at all?

You're not going to remember anything anyway.

You are a figment of my imagination.

I revoke you!

Guys, guys, come back, please.

Let's get Whitley into the story.

�silence.

I have been looking all over this campus for a place to study.

Doesn't anyone ever study anymore?

Hi, droolie.

Freddie?

Whitley, you see me with pointy ears and pointy horns?

No, I don't, but it would be an improvement.

And next time, Freddie, just say no.

See, they're all abandoning you.

But I'll be here tomorrow. Ha! Ha!

No, no!

Too many people. I need to be alone.

Not done yet?

I can't help it if my roommate got lucky.

Well, if you weren't such a pompous, siddity prima donna,

you'd be at the library like everyone else.

If I had just a little bit of hope that I was going to pass,

then I could concentrate more fully on my studies.

Well, if I felt for you, Whitley, I'd weep.

So what am I supposed to do?

Stop examining your navel, obsessing with your looks,

and worrying over that scrawny, tired Dwayne Wayne.

Focus on your studies, darling.

Get a life. Huh!

Okay, the binomial probability experiment satisfies what properties, Terrence?

False.

It is not a true-or-false question.

I'm sorry. I'm bushed.

We're going to take this one more time.

Oh, not again.

Factor the quadratic equation, "X minus 4X plus 4."

Who?

Man, what is your malfunction?

Are you having a hard time with math because it's your pop's forte?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Can I go now?

You want to go? I'll tell you what's going to go.

That nasty little black-

Hey! Whoa! No!

That's my stamina, my trademark. The women love it.

- You can't do that- - Hey!

Solve for X, X-squared right now.

Hey! X-squared minus 4X plus 4�

- X is equal to 2. - Come on now.

Right, yeah.

Slope intercept equation, Y equals MX plus B.

Come on!

Conditional probability, if E and E-squared are two events,

then both events occur. What else?

That's pretty good. I want to know lots more.

I want to know what are fundamental counting principles?

Oh! That's it.

There are M ways in which�

Dwayne Wayne, a man who lives by the credo,

"By any means necessary."

Malcolm X, 1965.

He saved Terrence's butt, and his, for now.

The first part of the examination will be oral.

It will be given in alphabetical order.

Which means, Miss Brooks, you're up first.

Who was Nat Turner?

Tina's brother. He played bass during the reconstruction.

Not you again. Bug off.

Make me.

That's it!

And stay out!

Nat Turner was a slave, a preacher and a mystic.

He believed he had a sacred mission to deliver African-Americans from bondage.

He led a powerful slave revolt in 1831.

Very good.

How's your health?

It's just fine, thank you.

Just kidding.

Rise and shine, Whitley.

I� I�

Ah, enough about you. darling. Where's your paper?

Oh, I finished it. I�

Oh!

Oh, no, dear.

I drink coffee, I don't read it.

Start again, darling. Now, you have till lunchtime.

Hey, have you seen Terrence?

You seen Terrence? He didn't show up for his midterm.

Hey, you deaf, bud?

Colonel, I tutored him.

- He knew it. It's not my fault. - Mmm-hmm.

- Your recommendation. - Yes.

Oh, and your last check. Here you are.

Here you are. Come on a little faster. Hup, hup!

You got it.

Oh, sorry about that.

And your whole life�

Hold it!

Now normally, Dwayne Wayne's life right now would be�

But not in the exam zone. In my world.

Start again, darling. Now, you have until lunchtime.

Excuse me, Colonel Taylor, sir.

I graded Terrence's paper. He got an A.

- Excellent, excellent. - Yeah.

- Oh, and here. This is for you. - Oh, yeah.

Here are your recommendations.

- Thank you so much. - And your paycheck.

I like that. Okay.

- Thank you very- - Oh, by the way. Wait just a moment.

Son, because you did such a good job tutoring my son�

Yes, I did a good job.

�I want you to be his tutor for the rest of the year.

Uh-uh.

- Yeah. - Uh-uh.

Uh-uh.

- Ah, speechless. - Uh-uh�

Uh-uh�

Uh-uh�

Ah! Ah!

I think home boy would have preferred the other ending.

Three people who have proven that students are their own worst enemy.

Three people stuck in the sticky web they wove themselves.

Entangled in the weaving and winding of the woven web.

Engulfed and encompassed-

Oh, enough of that, please.

You saw what happens.

It's a thin line between having it all together and bugging out.

And it can happen to anyone, even you, in the exam zone.

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