Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me, come what may ?

? Mmm ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it, hey! ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it! ?

? We can take it, hey ?

? Just remember that you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from! ?

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who could survive without a mall?

- Whitley?

Delivery man said this was for you.

Be careful with it, Ron.

That's an expensive topiary you're manhandling.

Now, put it over there on the coffee table.

Why can't you get a nice geranium plant like most people,

instead of Barbara Bush here?

I'm not most people.

Whitley, what in the hell is that?

This is Blind Justice, a horticultural allegory

of my father's distinguished career as a judge.

Hmm. I bet his dog will like it too.

Speaking of which, that outfit is making me sit up and beg. Mmm!

Down, boy!

This is a special occasion.

My father has ventured far away from home without his baby bride.

I have a suspicion that this is the end of the line

for that gigolette, Monica.

But they just got married last year.

I know, but there was a tone in his voice

that I haven't heard since he broke up with Mama.

How do you that tone wasn't just bad fiber optics.

Please, Ron. I know my Daddy, and he was upset.

The kind of upset you get when your relationship has soured.

Just call it daughter's intuition.

Your father's marriage is on the skids and he's coming to you for consolation.

That's the kind of special relationship that we have.

And after I've reassured him

that he never needed that gold digger in the first place,

I'll hit him up for some cash.

That's beautiful. I think I'm going to cry.

I know it may sound mercenary, Ron,

but I need the money to decorate my new condo,

and flee this domicile of the damned.

Hello, Jaleesa.

How was your day?

Need you ask?

She look like� Aunt Esther.

Now see, Muttley, the old Jaleesa

would have ripped that little moustache of yours out

hair by hair after a comment like that.

But before you is the new and improved Jaleesa,

who has just been told by her supervisor that she has a personality problem.

I could have told you that.

You are such a little�

constructive critic.

Thank you very much for that positive input.

Guess you didn't get that promotion.

I don't know yet.

But in my supervisor's subjective opinion,

I am short-tempered, quick to criticize, a taskmaster,

and I don't work well with others.

You know, she actually suggested that I make an attitude adjustment.

That is so wrong of her.

You know, that is exactly what I said.

Doesn't she know you're too old to change?

I'm running late.

Fetch that plant for me, Ron.

Hey, Ron.

Get her home by 11:00.

Very funny.

Whitley, you look like you got a hot date yourself.

As a matter of fact, I do.

With an older, distinguished man.

Who used to burp her.

Thank you for the plant, Ron.

Have a good time, Electra.

Bonsoir, mes amis.

What?

What are you looking at?

The door is over here.

Oh, I knew that. Did you think-

I know� you were.

Kinu, what are you talking about?

Never mind. It's nothing.

Oh, no, every time you say "it's nothing," baby, it's always something.

Can we please have this conversation inside?

Baby, you make me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

What?

Okay, all right, you know.

I was checking her out.

But she looked hot, you know?

What?

They get mad at you if you don't lie, get mad at you if you do-

What, what? What are you looking at?

During replication, strands of a double-stranded DNA molecule

separate from each other

when bonds are broken between their A, nitrogen bases,

B, five-carbon sugars, or C, phosphate groups.

Or D, break for dinner.

- A, nitrogen bases. - All right.

Time out. I'm a little low on cash,

so can I get an IOU for a BLT for my DNA before I need an IV?

A-Okay.

Come on, just a few more.

Kim, we have quizzed you for two days.

Now, you know this stuff.

Yeah, so do we. I'm thinking of changing my major.

The neurilemma of an axon is-

D, Schwann cell.

And let that be our Schwann song.

That's not funny.

Although sometimes, the body's need for oxygen

manifests itself in hysterical laughter. Ha!

Time to close the books.

You guys, we're talking about the MCAT here,

This test determines whether or not I get into med school.

We are not talking about the MCAT here,

we're talking about the practice test for the MCAT.

Exactly. And how I do on this test is a direct reflection

on how I'll do on the real one.

You have nothing to worry about, Doc.

You're going to ace it, so let's eat.

All right, you eat and I'll describe step by step the digestive process.

I'm out of here.

Flight, a direct response

to the flow of adrenaline produced in the adrenal gland.

Kim, you are doing exactly what you did last year.

- You are over studying. - There's no such thing.

Remember last year, Biology exam? You blanked, the frog lived?

Help me study, or go away.

After you.

Oh!

Oh, my goodness.

That girl will study so long, she going to give her brain a charley horse.

I know.

I've tried to tell her to relax.

Well, don't tell her, make her. Mmm-hmm.

He has a point.

Uh-oh, Lucy.

I feel another one of your harebrained schemes coming on.

Yes, you do.

Are you in?

Yes, Lucy, but you can't sing at the club.

Waah!

Surprise!

Hello, angel.

Hi, Daddy. Mmm!

I had this made especially for you.

Blind Justice.

Well, that's very nice, sweetheart, only, a cigar would have sufficed.

No, it would not have.

How often is it that I get to have my daddy all to myself?

Ah. I know it's on short notice,

but I felt it was important to have a talk with you.

Glad you feel you can talk with me.

I got a phone call the other day that left me, well, a little troubled.

Bonsoir.

Monsieur.

I am Andre, and our special du jour

is roast rump of baby lamb

served with couscous and minted peas.

I shall be back to take your order.

Shall I check this for you or serve it to table seven?

Yes, yes, please.

He, hey, be careful with that, Andre.

Take it from the bottom.

Daddy.

How could anybody take advantage of such a warm, kind and generous man?

And to leave you in the autumn of your years�

Whitley, what are you talking about?

Oh, Daddy.

I'm not a child anymore.

I can read those signs.

I just hope you made that Monica sign a pre-nuptial.

You better hope I never get another call from the bank

saying your account is consistently overdrawn.

This isn't about Monica?

This is about you.

Well, my account can't be overdrawn, Daddy,

'cause it's got that little thingy on it.

That "thingy" covers up to $500.

You're way over that,

not to mention your spending on your credit cards.

Are you ready to order?

- No. - Oui.

Now, Whitley, I have warned you about your extravagance.

And I've listened to you.

I waited till summer to get myself a fox.

Off-season.

Oh, child.

You spend money like there's no tomorrow.

You are in your fifth year of college.

You have got to learn some responsibility.

- Oui.

No.

No, no. Uh, uh, uh�

Now, look, these are just the bills from last month.

Look at that.

Tanner prints.

Jade napkin rings, China tea service�

I was decorating my new condo.

Really? Well, I've called all the stores and they've agreed to take it all back.

You wouldn't!

I have.

I suppose Monica had nothing�

Nothing to do with this?

As a matter of fact, I did discuss this with Monica.

And she frankly thought I was being just a little bit hard on you.

Well, listen to her.

She's your ever-loving wife, for goodness' sake.

I'll still pay your tuition and your basic living expenses,

and I do mean basic.

Daddy.

You will not be moving into an expensive condominium.

No?

Now, Whitley�

Whitley, I am doing this because I love you.

Give me your credit cards.

I�

I saw your lips moving, but I didn't hear nothing.

The cards, Whitley.

No.

Whitley�

I seem to have left them in my other purse.

Whitley.

- Where is the Neiman Marcus? - Hmm?

The Neiman Marcus card, Whitley?

We've had some wonderful, magical moments together.

Remember the Organdy Yves Saint Laurent?

The Charles Jourdan pumps that were the perfect shade of canary?

I'll not say goodbye to you.

Only� au revoir.

Kim, I've been looking all over for you.

My frat brothers and I we were having a party at my apartment.

We made a special batch of that Funky Cold Medina.

Freddie had one cup and she's out cold.

Of course she's out cold. It's 180 proof!

One-ninety.

Did you call the infirmary?

No, I didn't want to get her in trouble.

Let's go.

I don't believe her.

How could she be so stupid?

Well, she's in college.

Oh! She's here.

- Come back, Freddie. - Stand back.

She's still breathing.

Freddie, are you okay?

Stop! Hammer time!

How can you do this to me?

Now, you know I have an exam tomorrow.

Well, that is exactly why I'm doing this to you.

You know this stuff.

I want you to have fun and relax.

And without further ado,

I crown thee the queen of Kappa Lambda Nu.

Because you're brainy, you're beautiful, and you're mine.

Whoo!

You may think this is funny, but I don't.

Now, now.

Before you return to your toils, Your Funkiness,

we'd like you to meet and greet the pride of Kappa Lambda Nu,

Kappa Lambda Lou.

Lou! Lou! Lou! Lou! Lou!

Your Funkiness, may I dance with you one time before you go?

I guess I can stay for a little while.

Crank up the tunes!

No, you can't take that!

Ron, Dwayne, help me!

This is such an injustice!

Hold it, buster!

You better take it easy.

You had enough or do I got to get rough?

Lady, would you tell your friend I ain't got time to play?

Oh!

We're movers.

This furniture is being repossessed.

Repossessed?

You take this chair, you take me with it.

Hey, wait a minute, guys. Put me down right now.

I mean it.

Wait a minute.

Whitley, what happened?

My daddy took my credit cards and all my furniture.

Why is this happening to me?

Calm down. It's not the end of the world.

It's just a reality break.

He's pulling the rug out from under me.

See?

Why?

'Cause he says I spend too much money.

- Well� - You do.

Judas.

Wait a minute, now I'm on your side, but the judge has a point.

You know what you need to do?

You need to come up with a budget

to show the old man how responsible you can be

when it comes to money.

Budget?

Yes, budget.

It's time you worked it into your vocabulary.

It's in the dictionary

somewhere between "broken back" and "busted butt."

Wait a minute. Where you going with this?

This is my couch.

Right, does that look like something I would buy?

What� What is�

Whitley, what is going on here?

Are you moving?

I've never seen Kim have such a good time.

We had to make her go home.

Sounds just like the tonic she needed.

Mmm-hmm.

Now, as manager of the building,

let me share with you my memoirs of your party.

- Oh, great. - Chipped paint, stain on the carpet,

and the fire escape painted in the Kappa Lambda Nu colors.

I want it returned to its original state, rust.

I'm sorry, Mr. Gaines.

Not as sorry as you'll be when you're pushing paint brushes.

What are you laughing at?

I'm not doing it alone. This was your idea, Red.

You and your cousin, Opie.

Thanks a lot, cuz.

Come on. It was worth it.

We wanted Kim to relax and she did.

Ooh!

Paging Dr. Reese, paging Dr. Reese.

You're wanted in surgery, Dr. Reese.

Kimmy, Kimmy, tell us about the test.

Kimmy?

I told you it was a stupid idea.

Talk to me, Kim.

I got a 36.

Out of 100?

Out of 90.

Below average. Way below average.

No medical school's going to take me.

Hold on. Wasn't this just a practice test?

Well, as it turns out, the people with low scores

are put on a waiting list.

I may never get to take the MCAT.

But you knew the stuff cold.

Freddie, I was exhausted.

My head was throbbing.

I actually answered one question,

"Funky Cold Medina."

Oh, Kim, I'm sorry.

We just thought that, you know,

we'd get you to loosen up, you'd do better.

Well, it backfired.

We'll explain it to your professor.

This is your fault.

My fault? It was your idea.

You shouldn't have listened to me.

Kimmy, what can we do?

You can�

You can just�

Stop!

Hammer time!

Just kidding. Just kidding.

I got an 88!

How was your day, Jaleesa?

Great, thank you, and I'm still up for that promotion.

As long as I keep working on my attitude.

So I went to the mall, and worked up a good one.

How do you like that?

Silk and lace.

Tell me, do they still have that big, pretty escalator

at the department store?

When are you leaving, Zsa Zsa?

- Jaleesa- - No!

I haven't even asked you yet.

Whatever you could possibly ask me, the answer is no.

You do need work on that personality.

You know, you're right.

Whitley, please get out.

I could cook and clean and be your fashion consultant for free.

Don't need one.

I could drive you to work.

It's only two blocks away. I can walk.

Whitley, let's talk cold, hard cash, okay?

You pay half the rent and half the utilities.

Naturally.

Retroactive from the day you first set foot

into this "domicile of the damned."

I don't have that kind of cash, Jaleesa.

You know what?

That fur is going to look fabulous on me.

A sea of faces.

Uncaring faces.

What will become of me?

A woman alone in a cold, cruel world?

Whitley, what's the matter?

You sound like a wounded animal.

That's exactly what I am, a wounded animal

trying to get to the shoulder of the road

before being crushed under the wheels of a big rig.

What are you talking about?

- Did I ever show you this? - Mmm.

Daddy gave it to me for my 16th birthday.

It's nice.

- Seventeenth. - Wow!

- Eighteenth. - God!

- Nineteenth. - Get out of here.

- Twentieth. - Look at that.

Now that I'm 21, he's giving me the ax.

I think you'll be all right, Whitley.

I don't know.

I do, you got lots of friends who care about you.

What if I can't do it, Dwayne?

What if I can't make a living?

It's a cold, cruel world out there without a co-signer.

Hey, you, this is a chance for you to show everybody

how independent you are, how strong Whitley is.

I'd rather be weak and taken care of.

I guess that's why you want to become a corporate art buyer, huh?

- Oh! - Stop doing that, please.

Dwayne, I just�

I feel so all alone.

You can always count on me.

Dwayne?

Later.

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