Original subtitles

? I know my parents love me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it We can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Cytosine, adenine, guanine�

No, that's uracil.

Adenine, cytosine, guanine.

Now, isn't this a pretty sight?

Standing here chanting like some hippie-dippie Hare Krishna.

The only thing missing is the ponytail and a tambourine.

Mr. Gaines, I'm getting ready for a chemistry exam.

Well, stop thinking chemistry and start thinking vittles.

Okay. Fill her up with coffee, please.

Whatever pot's been sitting here the longest.

I thought you only drank herbal tea, Freddie.

Well, I have a paper. I would like some caffeine� now!

Whoa! Whoa, Freddie, hang loose.

What happened to you?

Colonel Taylor's math exam.

Three hours of uninterrupted mental effort.

If I never think again, it will be too soon.

It's over. Yes, it is over�

I just took my last final exam ever in finance

and my "A" plus-plus will send my grade curve

into orbit, baby.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jesus!

I love life. Ah-ha.

Thank you, Lola Falana.

Must you inflict your joy on us?

Yes.

People, I have big news.

Actually, Dwayne has big news. Shall I tell them?

Yeah, go ahead. I don't want to brag on myself.

My partner, because of his 3.999 G.P.A.

and all-around fierceness as a student,

is being inducted into the highest of honor societies,

Phi Beta Kappa.

You better stop. That is fantastic!

Unbelievable!

Bravo.

So this means we finally get to meet your parents.

The people responsible for your Phi Beta footwork.

Nah, my parents can't make it, they can't get time off work.

But we will celebrate

in a manner befitting the dignity of the occasion

with a Ron Johnson super beach freak fest at my apartment.

Bring your own bathing suits�

�or don't.

Julian!

Shall I take that as a "no"?

Hey, beautiful.

Hi, sweetie.

You look delicious. Got to go.

- How about lunch tomorrow? - Okay.

12:30 at Luna di Capri.

That's kind of early, Julian. I have to study for my last exam-

I can't make it any other time.

- 12:30 is fine. - Good.

There's something important I want to talk to you about.

Something I want to ask you.

- Something important? - Yes.

- That you want to ask me? - Yes.

Ciao, bella. See you tomorrow?

- I'll be there. - Okay.

Something important that he wants to ask me.

Oh, my goodness, I have to wear my hot pink with the shoulders down�

or off or whatever.

Oh, my goodness, another one of them talking to their self.

What is it about this time of the year

that turns these children into babbling fools?

I'm gonna get myself a sign that says "no talking to yourself."

That's what I'm gonna do.

Ow.

All right. Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming.

Ron! Yo, Ron, there's a girl on our couch.

Is she naked?

Yowzer.

How did I miss her last night?

Okay, I'm coming.

Hmm. Yeah.

Good morning, chipmunk.

Mom!

Mom?

I thought you and dad couldn't come.

He couldn't, but I wasn't about to miss my Phi Beta baby.

Didn't I say you'd run rings around Einstein?

- Yes. - I was right, wasn't I?

- You were right. - I know it.

The whole congregation is talking about you.

- Oh, no. How did they find out? - Wasn't me.

The reverend made an announcement.

- You told the whole world- - I didn't tell nobody, but guess what?

Yolanda Dubois came to me after the service

saying I should hook you up with her daughter, Brenda Sue.

That little thing that's skinny as a pipe-cleaner.

And she thinks she can sing, she can't sing. You don't need her.

Mama, I want you to meet my roommate, this is Ron Johnson.

- How you doing, Mrs. Wayne? - No handshakes here, baby.

You gotta give me a hug because I know too much about you.

Lord, look at this place.

I didn't know anything about this. This a dump or what?

What is this? A local go-go club over here? What is this?

- How did she get in here? - She must have came in with the tide, huh?

Is this a new friend of yours, chipmunk?

This is not as bad as it looks. I don't even know this one.

I'll find out.

Miss thing, miss girl, miss thing, little miss girl, wake up.

Hi. I'm Mrs. Wayne.

You're in my son's house. His name is Dwayne.

Go back to sleep. You look mighty tired. You look like they wore you out.

Get her a blanket.

I know she's cold. She looks like she's freezing.

Mrs. Wayne, I don't want you to think because it is scantily clad,

stacked stranger, that our apartment is a den of wildness.

I would never think that, Ron, not of this place.

- Mama, what did you bring me to eat? - Your favorite, honey.

- Prune cobbler, yes! - Prune cobbler?

You'll love it. It's my favorite recipe.

I wanna give Ron a big portion.

No, ma'am, I'm not a big breakfast man.

You've gotta eat breakfast. It'll make you good.

Look at you, honey, what happened to your long legs?

You lost your appetite or something?

- What woman took your appetite? - Mom, please.

You better tell me. I got three days.

You better not lie to me. I don't play.

Here, eat some of this stuff.

- Now, tell me the truth or I'll whip you. - Mama!

Here she is.

Fatal beauty.

Julian is a dead man.

Kim, prepare to be a bridesmaid.

- For whom? - For me.

Julian may pop the question today.

- I didn't know you two were that serious. - Me, neither, till yesterday.

- Oh, I got to go. - Whitley, wait, tell me about this!

I can't, Julian could be on his knees right now.

- I can't keep him waiting. - Whitley!

Colonel Taylor, I'd like you to meet my mother.

Mom, this is the man who made me the math giant that I am today.

I'm glad that Phi Beta Kappa hasn't gone to your head.

- Colonel. - Mrs. Wayne.

I want you to know it has been an honor and a pleasure to teach your son.

- I know. - Please, have a seat. Join me.

He's got one of the most brilliant and imaginative mathematical minds

- that I have encountered. - I know.

When I was going to school to become an accountant

I took chipmunk with me. He was only three-years-old.

- I was six- - Shut up, let me finish.

He had the cutest little face. He wore big, coke bottle glasses

and he had two big old buckteeth, just like Alvin.

- The chipmunk. - The chipmunk!

- Do we have to- - Yes, we have to. Be quiet.

The first time we did a balance sheet on the board,

chipmunk yelled out, "You missed a number!"

Guess what? He was right.

From then on, the teacher had him check all the figures. From then on.

Mama, it only happened one time.

It happened every week. I know. I'm the mother.

Just be quiet. He thinks I exaggerate.

I don't have to exaggerate. You're smart, you just got it like that.

I think it's time, Mom. We have to make a move. Let's go.

Lovely talking to you, Colonel Taylor.

- The pleasure was all mine. - I know it was.

- Somebody I want you to meet. - Must be Whitley.

- Mom! - I'm silent.

- Kimberly, this is my mom. - Hello, Mrs. Wayne.

You're so pretty. Isn't she, son?

- Yes, Mom. - Look at those pretty white teeth.

- You must be so proud of your son. - I am.

Tonight I'm having a party for him at eight o'clock at his apartment.

- Could you come? Please do. - I'd love to.

You still here?

You got a chemistry exam.

If you're going to be my doctor, you got to get straight A's. Now get.

- Thank you. I'll see you later. - See you tonight.

- Pre-med, sugar. You better hold on. - Mom.

- You better do the right thing. - Mom!

Shh. Mr. Gaines, this is my mother.

This is the man in charge of the pit.

- Mrs. Wayne, I'm delighted. - Thank you, sir.

Oh, yeah. Say, did anybody ever tell you

that you look like that girl singer, Patti Lolabelle?

The one that sings that "voulez-vous coucher"?

Nobody ever told me that, but thank you. Guess that's a compliment.

I'm giving my son a dinner tonight, at his place, okay?

- Be there tonight, okay? - I'd be happy to.

- Yeah. See you at 8:00. - Take care of your mama now.

Mom, I only wanted it to be a few people.

It's not my fault everybody wants to celebrate your Phi Beta Kappa.

- Oh, mom. - That fine colonel. I got to invite him.

Mom!

- What? - Take it easy.

What about the president of the college?

- Will she come? - No.

She needs to come. I saw her picture.

She looks like she needs my prune cobbler. I'll call her.

Please! Please!

Ah.

The isle of Capri.

I would love to go back there without my mama.

Maybe a honeymoon, something like that.

- How about you? - I don't know.

I never traveled with your mama.

Julian, when are you gonna ask me what you're gonna ask me?

- Now. Whitley. - Yes?

- Will you pass me the parmesan? - No!

Okay. I wish you'd spend the summer with me in D.C.

- You mean live with you? - Yes.

Just live with you?

Yes, I don't want to spend the summer without you. I just wanna be with you.

- You do? - More than anything.

We'd have a wonderful time. I mean,

I'd wake you up with fresh coffee, hot croissants, foot massages.

Yes�

No!

I can't go to D.C. this summer.

I have that internship with E.H. Wright. Remember?

E.H. Wright is here in town. You can work for them next semester.

Besides, I can find you some kind of office job at Pan Africa.

I don't know Julian, I already accepted that job.

It's kinda unprofessional not to show up.

Sweetheart, before you join the corporate world,

I'd love to see you get some real life experience.

I mean, learn how to make it without the credit cards, Gucci pumps,

- Cartier watch- - Why?

Because you're a little sheltered and out of touch.

Out of touch with what?

The community. The way most people live.

I'm not most people, Julian.

Neither are you, Mr. ex-Dover prep school.

Summers on the vineyard.

I'm talking about developing your survival skills.

Honey, you can't walk through certain areas

without worrying about attacks.

- Please. - Remember when you took the bus?

Julian, why don't you just ship me off to the Peace Corps?

Because I would miss you too much.

Oh.

Then why don't you spend the summer here in Virginia?

Whitley, my job at Pan Africa is critical to my future in a diplomatic corps.

And my job is critical to my career as a corporate art buyer.

Manning the stamp sponge in some Pan African office,

looking like a Mother Theresa wannabe, is not.

Of course, you don't care about that, though.

That's just my career.

I'm thinking about your career.

I don't wanna see you go through life a pampered, bourgie princess.

Pampered� bourgie� princess?

I'm telling the truth because I care about you.

You and your truth can kiss my Cartier,

all 18 karats.

The next time you call me a pampered, bourgie princess, Julian,

be prepared to throw down, homey.

That's right, I know that expression, too.

Allora, we're finished?

A little coffee, dessert?

No, the check, please.

Yes, la cuenta and fast.

Belissimo.

It's il conto.

Conto, cuento, kunta kinte. Just bring the ding-dang check!

Kim, don't ask me how my lunch went.

It did not go well.

That pseudo-radical, arrogant, pompous-

You mean Julian?

How dare you talk about him like that.

All right, Sybil.

I want to hear all about this, but-

It started out as a very nice lunch and then suddenly-

After my chemistry exam, okay?

- I'm sorry. - Kim, you're not leaving me on this.

I need you, girl.

I'm not playing.

Dwayne, put down what you're doing, I need to talk to you!

- Wait a minute. - Dwayne, open�

Finally.

- Mmm. - Excuse me.

Hello to you, too.

- Is Dwayne here? - No, he's taking a final exam.

Is that all anybody does around-

What is that stench?

Dinner.

Oh.

It is a relief to see you here. These boys needed a housekeeper.

You don't say, honey?

Tell Dwayne that Whitley�

Uh-hmm.

- Whitley was here. - Oh, wait. You're Whitley?

He's spoken of me already?

Chipmunk tells his mama everything.

Shut your mouth, honey, just close it.

I'm Mrs. Wayne.

I'm having a dinner for him tonight. I think he'd want you to come.

Yes, that's great.

- It's at eight o'clock. Don't be late. - I'm so sorry.

Okay, bye. That Whitley child! Whoo!

Excuse me. Can I have everybody's attention?

Everybody, excuse me.

Thank you. I'd like to propose a toast.

Let's raise our bubbly to Mr. Dwayne Wayne.

The man is a fine example.

- Yes, he is. - That Hillman college can save anyone.

I beg your pardon, honey?

She's begging your pardon, Walter.

Mrs. what I meant to say was that this man�

why am I even talking? All this delicious food out here.

I think my prune cobbler is warm enough.

- I know it's ready. - Is that what this is?

Well, I'm full.

- How about a stogie, Brad? - I don't mind if I do.

- I just love prune cobbler. - You can eat all of mine, baby.

Mrs. Wayne, dinner was delicious.

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

It's truly a culinary delight,

way beyond my expectations from when I, this afternoon when I�

- You need help in the kitchen? - No, honey, go back and take your seat.

Sit down.

I'm sick of her already.

Again, she is the one?

- I tried to take her off his hands. - I wish you would have.

- Don't jump! - Oh. You scared me.

How are you feeling?

Rotten to dreadful.

What did Georgetown do now?

You think you know someone, Dwayne, and then they say these things.

He called me sheltered and out of touch.

- Can you believe that? - Well�

Am I?

You're spoiled, too, but that's part of your charm, Whitley.

When we met, you asked what my father did.

You heard bus driver� pew!

�and took off like a roadrunner.

- No? - Yeah.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be. You were a different person then.

Not that different.

This afternoon, I mistook your mama for the maid.

You didn't?

Yeah.

- But that's okay. - No, it's not.

Julian's right. I'm a pampered princess.

I need to go out there and get some life experience.

Aren't you doing that?

You're staying in school another year to get the career you really want.

You got an internship, right?

- Yes. - That takes guts.

Why can't Julian see that?

Maybe Julian needs to go through Dwayne Wayne's sensitivity training.

Well, I'm not going with him to Washington this summer.

You're not?

- Could you smile a little more broadly? - I'm sorry.

I'm so�

I'm so mad at him. But I'm crazy about him.

Yeah, I know the feeling. It will pass.

Not soon enough.

You know, my grandma had a saying.

She said, "Baby, love drains you like a tub

"but true love feeds you like good grub."

You need someone who's going to feed you.

I kind of get this picture of two old geezers

feeding each other creamed corn.

It's time for me to have a double portion of mom's prune cobbler.

If you want to get out of her doghouse,

I suggest you have three or four portions.

- Flowers won't do? - Mm-mmm.

- Symphony tickets? - Mm-mmm.

- What are you looking at? - My little chipmunk.

- Oh, mom, please. - All grown up

and ready to take on the universe. Look at you.

I was lucky. You and dad have been there,

every step of the way, making me feel like the greatest.

Even when you potty trained me, made me feel like a champ.

You were a champ.

You knew the pot was to sit on and not to put on your head.

- You're like a genius. - This is what I'm talking about.

All I want for you is happiness, the same kind I have with your father.

I want you to be a happy young man, that's all I want for you.

I will, mom. I'll be happy.

But not with that Whitley girl. She's trouble. I know it.

Believe me, Mom, I know.

But, you know, maybe, just maybe she's the one.

You're a lost senseless lamb.

Two seconds ago, I was a genius.

You are a genius but that's books. I'm talking about a woman.

You're crazy. Gosh.

- I'll tell you one thing. - What?

If I get a chance with Whitley, I'm going for it.

Well, I'll tell you what.

You go for it by yourself. I'm not going to watch you

make a fool of yourself. I'm going to bed. Good night, son.

- I love you, mama. - You better love me. Love you.

But you know who I really love? That Kim girl. Think about it.

She got teeth just like your mama.

- Hi, Mrs. Wayne. - Hello.

- Ron. - Hey, Whitley.

- Dwayne, could I see you for a minute? - Yeah. No problem. I'll be right back.

Hurry up now.

I just wanted to tell you that when things are bad, you're there�

- Thanks a lot. - �to make things better.

Like, last night was your night but you took time out to spend with me.

You pushed your own feelings aside to consider mine.

I wanted to thank you for that.

I brought you a little something for your Phi Beta Kappa.

Caviar.

Good grub for a good person.

Thank you, Whitley.

How do you this gonna taste with chunky peanut butter?

I'm not sure. I have to try that.

Come on, honey. Chipmunk, it's time to go.

Time to get outta here. Your Phi Beta Kappa key is waiting.

I'm with you, Mom.

Whitley, do you want to come with us to the ceremony?

Mrs. Wayne, I'm flattered.

- I had no idea. - I know. Come on, honey.

I don't want to miss a minute of the ceremony. Come on.

- Is there film in that camera? It better. - Yes, ma'am.

Hey, Whitley, you don't have to go to this thing if you don't want to.

No, Dwayne. I want to.

I really want to be there.

- I know. - Come on, chipmunk! Get out of there.

- Come on. - Okay, Mom, goodness!

Mm-mmm.

Yes!

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