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1
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? I know my parents loved me ?
2
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,033
{\an8}? Stand behind me
Come what may ?
3
00:00:14,566 --> 00:00:18,400
{\an8}? I know now that I'm ready ?
4
00:00:18,466 --> 00:00:22,533
{\an8}? For I finally heard them say ?
5
00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:25,433
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
6
00:00:26,766 --> 00:00:29,166
{\an8}? Than where you come from ?
7
00:00:29,233 --> 00:00:32,500
{\an8}? Yes, it is now, yeah ?
8
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,500
{\an8}? Here's our chance to make it ?
9
00:00:35,566 --> 00:00:40,633
{\an8}? And if we focus on our goal ?
10
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:44,433
{\an8}? You can dish it, we can take it ?
11
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:48,600
{\an8}? Hey, just remember
That you've been told ?
12
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,633
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
13
00:00:51,733 --> 00:00:54,466
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
14
00:00:54,533 --> 00:00:56,166
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
15
00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:57,900
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
16
00:00:57,966 --> 00:01:00,566
{\an8}? Than where you come from ?
17
00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:02,300
{\an8}? Ooh ?
18
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,200
{\an8}? Than where you come from ?
19
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,166
{\an8}
20
00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:15,366
{\an8}Now, item six�
21
00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:18,600
{\an8}Last week's unfortunate grease fire.
22
00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:20,933
Never mind who's responsible
23
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,433
for nearly destroying
my entire life's work.
24
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,800
Now what's important
25
00:01:24,866 --> 00:01:27,600
is that you remember to use
the fire extinguisher.
26
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:30,733
Is that clear, Clarence Peel?
27
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,366
You won't put out a single flame
28
00:01:32,433 --> 00:01:34,600
jumping up and down like a grasshopper
29
00:01:34,666 --> 00:01:36,000
calling for your mama.
30
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:38,566
Item seven�
31
00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:40,100
Schedule changes.
32
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,000
- Oh.
- There will be no changes.
33
00:01:42,066 --> 00:01:43,766
Now start the frying!
34
00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:47,700
And, people,
let's be careful in there, please.
35
00:01:49,366 --> 00:01:51,633
- Mr. Gaines.
- Mm-hmm?
36
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,700
I know you said no schedule changes
37
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,533
but this really isn't a change.
38
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,332
- It's more like a modification.
- Well.
39
00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,833
Um, I'm gonna be working Tuesday for Benny
40
00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:02,699
and Saturday for Helen.
She has law boards.
41
00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:04,965
Looks like you're putting in
more hours than I am.
42
00:02:04,966 --> 00:02:06,100
Are you after my job?
43
00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:07,933
I'm just filling in for some people.
44
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,066
You in college to become a surgeon,
45
00:02:10,133 --> 00:02:11,400
not to make burgers.
46
00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:14,000
Now, you burning the candle at both ends.
47
00:02:14,066 --> 00:02:16,266
I saw you trying to deep-fry my sponges!
48
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:17,833
They looked like fish cakes!
49
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:21,066
You already destroyed my sponges!
50
00:02:21,966 --> 00:02:23,933
I don't want you hurting yourself.
51
00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:26,465
What if someone asked you
for a bologna sandwich,
52
00:02:26,466 --> 00:02:28,699
you sliced off a half a pound
of meat and two fingers?
53
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:30,166
But I could use the hours!
54
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,673
You need those fingers, too,
55
00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:34,443
unless you plan to hold
the scalpel between your toes.
56
00:02:34,444 --> 00:02:38,265
- Mr. Gaines, I just need the hours.
- Why you need them, anyway?
57
00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:40,165
Have you gone crazy with your charge card?
58
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:43,500
No, no no. I like to work.
It's what I do to relax.
59
00:02:43,566 --> 00:02:46,666
Oh, well, you can relax here
25 hours a week and no more.
60
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,533
Now, get somebody else to do the rest.
61
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,800
Oh, my goodness!
62
00:02:51,866 --> 00:02:52,933
And not him!
63
00:02:55,966 --> 00:02:59,433
He stops. He pops. He shoots.
64
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,033
And he couldn't hit water
if he fell off a boat.
65
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:06,100
Now it's time for
my patented Jordan 360 jump.
66
00:03:06,166 --> 00:03:09,300
And my patented Charles Barkley rejection.
67
00:03:09,366 --> 00:03:12,233
And now, for my "Hakeem The Dream"
monster hook.
68
00:03:14,066 --> 00:03:16,000
Dream on, shorty.
69
00:03:16,066 --> 00:03:20,100
Yeah? I got five dollars says,
I can tie one arm behind my back,
70
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,433
stick one leg in a bucket
and still whup your behind.
71
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:24,866
- Really?
- Yeah.
72
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:28,733
I bet you five dollars that I don't have
that I can get on my knees,
73
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,700
close my eyes, give you 20,
74
00:03:30,766 --> 00:03:34,100
and hit 21 quicker than you can get
turned down for a date.
75
00:03:35,866 --> 00:03:37,966
Well, come get some of this, homeski.
76
00:03:38,033 --> 00:03:39,133
Let's go.
77
00:03:40,566 --> 00:03:43,233
Oh, man, you slimed all over me.
78
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,366
No.
79
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,466
That was my Dwayne Wayne
super sweat rejection.
80
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:49,433
That was nasty is what it was.
81
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,700
You guys play an intense game
of roundball.
82
00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:53,300
Play for a team?
83
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:55,900
No. We couldn't let
our talents be confined
84
00:03:55,966 --> 00:03:57,633
by that NCAA rule book.
85
00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:03,400
Well, I'm shooting a new
mega-pro vitamin commercial next week.
86
00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:04,566
Chuck Lance.
87
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:07,133
Hey, Chuckie.
88
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,166
You guys are exactly what
I've been looking for.
89
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,533
- Yeah?
- Uh, what would we have to do, Chuck?
90
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,966
Play a little basketball
91
00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:16,465
and then kick back
and wait for the checks to roll in.
92
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:19,000
We're in, and which way to the bank?
93
00:04:19,066 --> 00:04:20,200
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
94
00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:21,800
Not so fast, spark plug.
95
00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:23,799
Whenever something
sounds too good to be true,
96
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,866
a guardian angel sings in my ear.
Right now I hear "Walk On By."
97
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,566
Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
98
00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:31,033
I'll tell you what, take my card.
99
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,333
Talk it over.
100
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,200
And if you decide you're in,
give me a call.
101
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:36,433
Oh, yeah!
102
00:04:36,434 --> 00:04:38,432
No later than four o'clock on Wednesday.
103
00:04:38,433 --> 00:04:39,733
Four o'clock, Wednesday.
104
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:45,733
"Chuck Lance. Commercial director."
105
00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:57,032
Welcome home.
106
00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,333
Oh!
107
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,166
Oh, Walter.
108
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,065
Well, now that I've got your attention,
109
00:05:03,066 --> 00:05:04,506
where the hell have you been?
110
00:05:04,507 --> 00:05:07,299
This is the third time this week
you've left before midnight
111
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,166
and come in after 5:30 in the morning.
112
00:05:09,233 --> 00:05:10,400
I've been at work!
113
00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:11,766
Nice try.
114
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,466
The Pit closes at 10:00 pm.
115
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,866
Ooh.
And smelling like cheap hooch, too.
116
00:05:20,466 --> 00:05:21,966
It's embalming fluid.
117
00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:24,166
Hey, what you drink is your own business.
118
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,233
Now talk to me.
119
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:29,700
I'm working at Deaton's funeral parlor,
the graveyard shift.
120
00:05:29,766 --> 00:05:31,333
I need a little extra money.
121
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,166
Now, Kim, the funeral business
is an honest profession.
122
00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:39,100
But somehow, I don't see you
as a hospitality hostess for the dead.
123
00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:43,500
I don't want you coming into
my dorm like some thief in the night!
124
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:45,599
Can't you get financial help
somewhere else?
125
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,300
Now, what am I supposed to do?
126
00:05:47,366 --> 00:05:49,466
Call home and go, "Hi, Mom and Dad!
127
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:51,632
"I just turned down a scholarship
from Orange Glow
128
00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:53,232
"because they support apartheid?
129
00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:54,865
"There's no scholarship to replace it,
130
00:05:54,866 --> 00:05:57,299
"and I may never be able
to come back to school next year,
131
00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:00,733
"so, Daddy, get off disability
and get on overtime."
132
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:06,266
Okay, Walter Oakes,
open mouth, insert foot.
133
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:08,683
I'm sorry,
134
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,166
and I'm shocked.
135
00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:14,432
A young person giving up some money
for something they believe?
136
00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:15,483
I'm proud of you, Kim.
137
00:06:15,533 --> 00:06:16,800
Thanks, Walter.
138
00:06:16,866 --> 00:06:18,433
But you're still a broke sister.
139
00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:21,800
You got that right.
140
00:06:21,801 --> 00:06:23,932
Maybe your father's precinct
has some kind of-
141
00:06:23,933 --> 00:06:25,766
No, no, no, no, we don't do that.
142
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:28,423
I got it. I'm going to get you
a football scholarship.
143
00:06:28,424 --> 00:06:30,632
We'll hide you under the bench
with helmets and pads.
144
00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:32,533
Nobody will know it's you.
145
00:06:32,534 --> 00:06:34,299
Hey, don't you worry about this one.
146
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:37,366
I have some pull on this campus,
so do some of your friends.
147
00:06:37,433 --> 00:06:38,900
No!
148
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:42,100
My friends don't know about this,
and I want to keep it that way.
149
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,400
I don't want their help or their pity.
150
00:06:44,401 --> 00:06:46,332
Promise me you won't say anything?
151
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,033
Hey, cross my heart and hope to die.
152
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:49,700
As long as you're not on duty.
153
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,966
Now go on upstairs and get some sleep.
154
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,266
Miss, yes, I know our phone bill
is 30 days in arrears
155
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:05,733
but now won't be a good time
to reach out and disconnect someone.
156
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,266
How would I call my mom
for the money?
157
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,533
Hello? Hello?
158
00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:14,833
A sense of humor
must not be a job requirement.
159
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,633
This just in from the landlord.
160
00:07:19,266 --> 00:07:20,433
"Dear, gentlemen.
161
00:07:20,434 --> 00:07:22,032
"Three-quarters of a month's rent
162
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:23,999
"gets you three-quarters of an apartment.
163
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,466
"The bathroom is now off limits.
164
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,833
"Thank you. The management, La Granade."
165
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,933
Ron, I have the solution
to all our cash flow problems.
166
00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:34,865
We'll dribble them away on national TV.
167
00:07:34,866 --> 00:07:37,666
Oh, what happened to
Dwayne "Walk On By" Wayne?
168
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:40,232
He's gotta use the toilet.
Now give me Chuck's number.
169
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:42,033
Oh, good! It's not 4:00 yet.
170
00:07:42,666 --> 00:07:45,566
No! We've been cut off!
We've been cut off!
171
00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:46,765
I got to find a pay phone.
172
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,936
I got to find a pay phone.
I need some change!
173
00:07:48,937 --> 00:07:50,299
- I need change.
- Chill, homey.
174
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:51,632
No, I need some change, man!
175
00:07:51,633 --> 00:07:53,900
Our contracts will be here in 15 minutes.
176
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,900
I already called Chuck.
177
00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:58,133
Bless you, Ron.
178
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,833
Bless you.
179
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,266
Bless you.
180
00:08:06,766 --> 00:08:08,933
Hey, Kim took a stand
and made a sacrifice.
181
00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:11,933
It's so unfair.
182
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,533
Kim told me
that she was selling her scooter
183
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,100
'cause she was tired
of having helmet head.
184
00:08:17,101 --> 00:08:18,965
I should've known
there was something wrong.
185
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:23,566
Well. We are going to help
that girl raise her tuition money.
186
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:24,733
Wait a minute.
187
00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:27,199
Kim didn't want
anybody to know about this, okay?
188
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,900
You know, we could have a rummage sale
or a car wash.
189
00:08:31,566 --> 00:08:35,166
I could play my guitar
in front of the bus station.
190
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,233
? Kimberly, Kimberly ?
191
00:08:39,299 --> 00:08:41,733
? Gonna set South Africa free ?
192
00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:43,900
? Kimberly, Kimberly ?
193
00:08:43,901 --> 00:08:46,099
? Come rain, come snow
Come hell or high water ?
194
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:51,033
? Gonna get you some money ?
195
00:08:54,566 --> 00:08:56,066
How about a party?
196
00:08:56,133 --> 00:08:59,433
We can have people pledge money
to dance to their favorite song.
197
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,900
Don't ask. I will sing at the party!
198
00:09:01,901 --> 00:09:04,865
It's all my fault.
I shouldn't have even told y'all.
199
00:09:04,866 --> 00:09:07,966
Huh. I just can't take this.
200
00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:09,933
Our little Kimmie,
201
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,666
working in a mortuary
202
00:09:11,733 --> 00:09:14,100
with people who were formerly alive.
203
00:09:15,733 --> 00:09:17,633
Well, she has a lot of pride.
204
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:18,750
You know,
205
00:09:19,666 --> 00:09:23,466
there has been
this terrible stench in the room.
206
00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:27,300
I just thought it was her feet.
207
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:32,366
Have either of you guys seen
an actual dead person?
208
00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:34,000
No, and I don't want to.
209
00:09:34,066 --> 00:09:37,166
Well, when I went
to Albert Souje's funeral,
210
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,100
Louise Souje's second husband,
211
00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:41,900
he had a terrible golfing accident.
212
00:09:41,966 --> 00:09:44,666
He would never admit
that he was stone-deaf
213
00:09:44,733 --> 00:09:46,233
in his left ear.
214
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:49,666
That's why he didn't hear
my daddy go "fore!"
215
00:09:49,733 --> 00:09:52,666
So, they wanted to have an open casket
216
00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:55,700
because he had to be buried
with his golf clubs.
217
00:09:55,766 --> 00:09:59,466
I was so relieved
when they closed that lid.
218
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,533
We were in the middle of a heat wave,
219
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,700
and he� he was drawing flies.
220
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,833
Everyone's so afraid of death,
221
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:11,632
but people who were revived
after being clinically dead,
222
00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:15,900
they say it's this state
of total calm and completeness.
223
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,466
Wow. I wonder if that's really true.
224
00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:22,200
Well, if Kim finds out about
our fund-raising scheme, we'll find out
225
00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:24,436
because she gonna kill
every last one of us.
226
00:10:25,466 --> 00:10:26,833
Hey.
227
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:29,300
How you doing? Walter?
228
00:10:29,366 --> 00:10:31,233
Where you going at this hour?
229
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:34,066
I'm going to work, uh, at the library.
230
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,400
This time of the night,
I bet that place is a morgue.
231
00:10:37,457 --> 00:10:42,199
If you all need any more light bulbs,
let me know.
232
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,966
Thank you for the light bulbs, Walter.
233
00:10:45,033 --> 00:10:46,266
Thank you.
234
00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:47,383
Excuse me.
235
00:10:47,433 --> 00:10:51,266
Hey, Kimberly, is there anything
that you'd like to say to me?
236
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:52,265
Or me?
237
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:53,666
Yeah. Don't wait up.
238
00:10:54,366 --> 00:10:55,700
Oh.
239
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,450
Freddie,
240
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:01,666
we are now in the fundraising business
241
00:11:01,733 --> 00:11:04,133
because that girl is our friend.
242
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,166
Because that girl means the world to us.
243
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,633
I love her.
244
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,700
What if she finds out what we're up to?
245
00:11:11,766 --> 00:11:15,400
We'll just do what any good,
decent friend will do.
246
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,700
We will lie.
247
00:11:23,711 --> 00:11:28,565
Ladies, let's pick up
a little liquid refreshment.
248
00:11:28,566 --> 00:11:31,700
Then I'll fast-break to your table
and steal your hearts.
249
00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:33,533
You already have!
250
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,333
- Hello!
- All right. All right.
251
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,466
- Have a seat.
- Thank you, darling.
252
00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:40,332
Brother, you take the one in the skirt.
253
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,966
I'll get the one
that gives spandex a good name.
254
00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:46,266
Leech alert, brother.
Until they heard about our commercial,
255
00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:48,799
these women wouldn't give us
the wrong time of day.
256
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,033
They're trying to use us.
257
00:11:50,034 --> 00:11:52,499
Are you gonna let
a little thing like that get in our way?
258
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:55,933
I say we let them use us
till they use us up!
259
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,533
I can do that. Pride is overrated.
260
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,333
Head up, Walt!
261
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,200
If it isn't Spud and Home Front.
262
00:12:03,266 --> 00:12:04,833
You like us now!
263
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,533
About as much as I liked you before.
I don't.
264
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,830
- Give me a vanilla shake.
- And two root beers.
265
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:13,433
Walt, you can tell Coach Harris
that we might�
266
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:14,432
Might.
267
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:17,433
�consider playing
for the maroon and gray next season.
268
00:12:17,434 --> 00:12:20,032
He'll be glad to hear
that his prayers have been heard.
269
00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:22,532
We will need some perquisites
to perk our interests.
270
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,065
Number one, a private interview room
271
00:12:24,066 --> 00:12:27,900
to accommodate all the press
including Brent Musburger's hair.
272
00:12:27,966 --> 00:12:29,233
Number two,
273
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:30,900
personal towel girls�
274
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,366
for those hard-to-reach places.
275
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,465
Don't forget number three.
276
00:12:36,466 --> 00:12:38,756
Small towels
for your hard-to-reach places.
277
00:12:40,766 --> 00:12:41,900
Ha, ha, ha.
278
00:12:41,966 --> 00:12:43,866
Two root beers. That'll be $1.80.
279
00:12:43,933 --> 00:12:47,166
$1.80? Keep the change.
280
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,900
Nice tipping, Scrooge McDuck.
281
00:12:49,966 --> 00:12:51,566
Here you go. Enjoy.
282
00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:57,900
Would you look at this tip jar?
283
00:12:57,966 --> 00:13:00,366
Filled to overflowing.
284
00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:02,166
The third day in a row.
285
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:04,266
And all just for you.
286
00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:07,999
Some of it should go to Clarence.
He hasn't caused one grease fire all week!
287
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,590
That's because
he's been cleaning out the freezer.
288
00:13:12,633 --> 00:13:14,800
Well, look here.
289
00:13:14,866 --> 00:13:17,633
Another five-dollar bill.
290
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:20,566
We usually don't collect
this much in a semester.
291
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:25,000
That's because you make your burgers
with lettuce, tomatoes, and a smile.
292
00:13:25,066 --> 00:13:26,116
I guess.
293
00:13:26,166 --> 00:13:29,366
But you don't know nothing
about holding onto a dollar.
294
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,166
You just dropped your money
right on the floor.
295
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:36,400
But, Mr. Gaines, this is my five.
296
00:13:36,466 --> 00:13:38,400
Well, you know what they say.
297
00:13:38,466 --> 00:13:41,566
Finders, keepers. Losers, weepers!
298
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,199
Thank you.
299
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,250
Oh, yes, ladies.
300
00:13:49,266 --> 00:13:51,426
I've been around many TV commercial shoots
301
00:13:51,466 --> 00:13:54,866
at my dad's auto dealership.
It's all very technical, you see.
302
00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,933
- That man with the camera�
- Uh-huh?
303
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,366
He's the cameraman.
304
00:13:58,433 --> 00:13:59,483
Oh!
305
00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:03,900
- And see this guy with the donuts?
- He's the donut man?
306
00:14:03,966 --> 00:14:05,700
Show biz is in your blood!
307
00:14:05,701 --> 00:14:08,465
Let's come over here and get some donuts.
308
00:14:08,466 --> 00:14:12,166
And to what do we owe the honor
of your presence, Coach?
309
00:14:12,167 --> 00:14:13,665
Hey, don't be calling me coach.
310
00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:16,965
I don't wanna be held responsible
for your sorry basketball playing.
311
00:14:16,966 --> 00:14:19,433
And over here is where the talent sits.
312
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,550
Wait a second.
313
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,966
Four chairs?
314
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,666
Hey, Chuck!
315
00:14:23,733 --> 00:14:24,783
Oh, Chuck!
316
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:28,833
You didn't say anything
about sharing our spotlight.
317
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:31,166
Oh, yeah. You'll be playing two on two.
318
00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:32,265
Two on two?
319
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:34,033
Yeah. Walt, Rick!
320
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:36,733
- We're ready for you here.
- Walt, Rick?
321
00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:42,433
Rick Barry and Walt Hazzard?
322
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:46,033
- Get out of here!
- NBA action is fantastic!
323
00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:49,199
This guy holds the all-time
NBA free throw record!
324
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,165
89%, right?
325
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,800
90.
326
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:53,800
Just don't foul the guy.
327
00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:55,200
Rick Barry.
328
00:14:55,266 --> 00:14:58,100
Walt Hazzard. Man, it's an honor
to meet you guys!
329
00:14:58,166 --> 00:15:01,066
- My mama named me after you.
- Look, I'm not your daddy.
330
00:15:01,966 --> 00:15:04,466
Y'all take it easy on my guys here, man.
331
00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:06,932
Shooting hoops with Rick Barry
and Walt Hazzard,
332
00:15:06,933 --> 00:15:09,103
the free throw king
and the playmaker. Wow!
333
00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:10,333
Two living legends.
334
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,690
- Take it easy on these old guys.
- That's right.
335
00:15:14,733 --> 00:15:15,783
Give me the ball, pop.
336
00:15:18,766 --> 00:15:21,433
Why do I always get the guys
who think they can play?
337
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,900
Dwayne! Underneath! Underneath!
338
00:15:25,566 --> 00:15:26,700
Looking for this?
339
00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:27,833
Hey, man�
340
00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:31,133
- Play number one.
- Okay.
341
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,250
- It's on me.
- Get it!
342
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,366
And, action!
343
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:41,533
Okay.
344
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,166
- Whoo. Play number two.
- Okay.
345
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:44,900
- Number two, babe.
- All right.
346
00:15:45,966 --> 00:15:47,016
Oh!
347
00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:49,266
Wait! Wait!
348
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,533
Chuck, can we do this again?
349
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,266
I started on the wrong foot.
350
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:55,533
Hey! Aren't you calling fouls, man?
351
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,666
Keep playing. Keep playing. It's perfect!
352
00:15:57,733 --> 00:15:58,783
Perfect?
353
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,633
I think it's time.
354
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,366
I think it's time to quit.
355
00:16:02,433 --> 00:16:04,100
It's time for London Bridges.
356
00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:06,133
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
357
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,600
Old London Bridges.
358
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,133
Oh.
359
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,466
Okay.
360
00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:12,533
Come on, papa, give me the ball.
361
00:16:12,651 --> 00:16:14,732
Just give me a sec.
362
00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:15,800
High up!
363
00:16:15,866 --> 00:16:17,600
- I got it.
- Play number three.
364
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,750
That's it.
365
00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:21,633
Yeah!
366
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:25,233
Get it up!
367
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:26,350
Yeah!
368
00:16:26,366 --> 00:16:27,966
Nice shot, Dwayne.
369
00:16:28,033 --> 00:16:30,300
Don't worry, we can edit that one out.
370
00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:33,196
Let's break for five,
then we'll go in for the close-ups.
371
00:16:33,733 --> 00:16:34,966
Chuck,
372
00:16:35,033 --> 00:16:38,266
seems like you didn't hire my boys
because they're photogenic.
373
00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:39,899
You hired 'em 'cause they're pitiful.
374
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,300
Actually, I cast them for both reasons.
375
00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:44,666
Company slogan says it all.
376
00:16:46,466 --> 00:16:48,233
Oh man, that's cold.
377
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,183
Yeah.
378
00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:53,000
Oh, Walter, I don't get it!
379
00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:55,565
We're getting out butts kicked
by the bionic fossils.
380
00:16:55,566 --> 00:16:58,265
Yeah, two fossils who took
their mega-pro vitamins today.
381
00:16:58,266 --> 00:16:59,232
What?
382
00:16:59,233 --> 00:17:03,066
In a close-up, these golden words
will flash across your ugly faces.
383
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:06,000
"Guess who didn't take
their vitamins today?"
384
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,166
What?
385
00:17:08,284 --> 00:17:10,299
No.
386
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,300
We're gonna be dogged on national TV?
387
00:17:12,301 --> 00:17:13,265
Mm-hmm.
388
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,266
- In 29 languages?
- Mm-hmm.
389
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:16,663
- In perpetuity?
- Mm-hmm.
390
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,233
But look at the good side!
391
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,966
You'll get to keep
most of the money you make
392
00:17:22,033 --> 00:17:24,633
'cause no self-respecting man,
woman, or beast
393
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:28,200
will want to be seen with you
after this humiliation in perpetuity.
394
00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:39,533
- Hi, Kimberly!
- Hey.
395
00:17:39,534 --> 00:17:43,232
I want you to call Eric Brown
this instant and tell him
396
00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:46,000
that you will go
to that semi-formal dance.
397
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,933
I found something
you can wear right in my closet.
398
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,933
It's beautiful. Looks brand-new.
399
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,300
Oh, please.
400
00:17:52,366 --> 00:17:54,766
This is where Kent Souje spilt champagne
401
00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,900
and this is where I dribbled
some sauce b�arnaise. See?
402
00:17:57,966 --> 00:18:00,616
And here's where you forgot
to take off the price tag.
403
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,366
Is that what that was?
404
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:07,600
All this time I thought a bust wire
was sticking in my ribs.
405
00:18:11,733 --> 00:18:15,700
Kim, since you have no way to get to work
and you sold your scooter,
406
00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:18,399
when you're going to work
late at night in the library
407
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,866
where you work very late at night,
408
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,333
I bought you this bike.
409
00:18:23,066 --> 00:18:25,033
Say thank you, Kim.
410
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,633
It must have cost, what?
A hundred dollars?
411
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:30,000
No. No. Look.
412
00:18:30,066 --> 00:18:31,733
Rusty bell.
413
00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:32,832
Ninety-five.
414
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:34,433
�cents at the yard sale.
415
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,666
Right. 95 cents. There's this woman-
416
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:37,732
I knew it.
417
00:18:37,733 --> 00:18:41,533
I knew if you guys found out
I couldn't pay my tuition, you'd do this.
418
00:18:42,633 --> 00:18:44,333
Guys, you can't fix this.
419
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:47,733
You can't buy Cinderella
a new gown and a carriage
420
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,566
and send her off to the ball.
421
00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:53,333
And you can't turn a pile of tips
into tuition paid in full.
422
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,033
I never left a tip in The Pit in my life!
423
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,965
Who else knows?
424
00:18:57,966 --> 00:18:59,033
Knows what?
425
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,833
Kim, you not gonna believe this.
426
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,970
I found these medical books
lying in the street on my way here.
427
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,933
You had no right to do this.
428
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,133
This is not your problem.
429
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,366
Yes, it is. We are your friends.
430
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:13,133
We know how hard it's been for you.
431
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,033
We're just trying to help.
432
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,533
Oh, you helped, all right.
433
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,600
You managed to turn me
into a charity case.
434
00:19:19,666 --> 00:19:20,766
Thanks a lot.
435
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:29,666
Does she know how many hours
I spent buying that little dress?
436
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:32,866
I got bunions, I got corns,
I got blisters on top of my corns,
437
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:34,000
on top of my bunions.
438
00:19:34,066 --> 00:19:35,466
And I'll never do it again!
439
00:19:35,533 --> 00:19:36,583
Never!
440
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,133
- Mr. Gaines?
- Hmm.
441
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,400
You know, after a long, cold winter,
442
00:19:48,466 --> 00:19:52,033
it feels good to have the sun
beating on my head.
443
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,900
I want to talk to you.
444
00:19:54,966 --> 00:19:57,833
Well, talk a little to the left.
You're blocking my sun!
445
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:01,933
Giving your money back.
446
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,233
What money?
447
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,433
All these fives from the tip jar.
448
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,233
Now how do you know they're mine?
449
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:08,620
'Cause I know your crinkle.
450
00:20:08,621 --> 00:20:12,565
You always turn up the corner
of new bills so they don't stick together.
451
00:20:12,566 --> 00:20:17,366
Oh. Are you going to be
a surgeon or a FBI Agent?
452
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,400
You forgot. My dad's a detective.
453
00:20:20,466 --> 00:20:23,166
Well, on to plan B.
454
00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:24,566
Plan B?
455
00:20:24,633 --> 00:20:28,300
The Velma and Vernon Gaines
educational fund.
456
00:20:28,366 --> 00:20:31,833
Oh, no, no. You and Mrs. Gaines
are not giving me my tuition.
457
00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:33,365
Who said anything about giving?
458
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:37,233
I'm talking about a loan
made payable in 36 installments,
459
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:40,033
commencing the day
you hang up your shingle.
460
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,866
And don't be late with the checks
461
00:20:41,933 --> 00:20:44,166
'cause Velma would charge a late fee!
462
00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:46,933
- Mr. Gaines.
- Mm-hmm?
463
00:20:47,066 --> 00:20:49,800
- Mr. Gaines, um�
- Yeah?
464
00:20:49,866 --> 00:20:53,700
You are the best,
but I can't take your money.
465
00:20:53,766 --> 00:20:57,466
Young lady, you're more stubborn
than the lid on a new jar of mustard.
466
00:20:57,533 --> 00:21:01,066
Now, it's not money that's stopping you
from becoming a surgeon.
467
00:21:01,133 --> 00:21:02,183
It's you!
468
00:21:02,433 --> 00:21:05,066
You and that jumbo-sized pride of yours.
469
00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:08,766
People got to lie and try and help you
behind your back.
470
00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:10,213
Mr. Gaines, nobody's lying-
471
00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:13,966
Don't tell me about
how it's better to give than receive.
472
00:21:14,033 --> 00:21:16,766
Sometimes, you gotta learn
to take from people
473
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:19,533
because giving is what
makes them feel good.
474
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,866
Guess you told me.
475
00:21:31,933 --> 00:21:33,400
Well, I guess I did!
476
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,966
So I guess the only thing to say is�
477
00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:40,766
- Thank you.
- Well, it's about time.
478
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:44,566
I was beginning to fear
for my blood pressure.
479
00:21:46,366 --> 00:21:47,933
What's that foul odor?
480
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,533
Oh, it's embalming fluid.
481
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,266
No. That's a grease fire.
482
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:52,900
Clarence Peel!
483
00:21:52,966 --> 00:21:54,533
Clarence!
484
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,100
Clarence Peel! Get back, get back fast!
485
00:21:57,166 --> 00:21:59,766
{\an8}You're going to burn the whole house down!
486
00:21:59,816 --> 00:22:04,366
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