Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it We can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Whitley, you've never looked more exquisite.

Happy 21st birthday.

Thank you, Kimberly.

Champagne?

Monks in the South of France stomped these grapes 21 years ago

in anticipation of this glorious day.

Mmm. Thank you, Winifred.

Caviar?

A little fish family in Russia laid these eggs

in honor of your birthday.

Mmm. Thank you, Mr. Gaines.

Greetings from across the country.

And around the globe.

Thank you, Walter and Jaleesa.

Telegram for Whitley Gilbert.

"Babs and George send birthday hugs and kisses."

Thank you, Mr. And Mrs. President.

There's one from New Jersey. It's from your father.

"Dear Whitley,

"I am divorcing Monica immediately.

"Your evil stepmother has lived up to every name you've called her

"including heifer."

"She now tips the scales at 250 pounds.

"I will re-marry your mother in June.

"We send our love. Daddy.

P.S. Titi was sold to the circus."

Thank you, Western Union!

Happy birthday, most cherished and unrequited love of mine.

I give you this day the gift of my devotion.

There is no other babe for me.

If I have to wait forever rotting, I will�

�for to rot in your honor would be a small sacrifice.

Thank you, Dwayne.

For you, my dearest.

I cut off all the thorns myself.

You're a delicate beauty

but you can still carry off big jewels.

Open the box, carrissima.

Happy 21st birthday.

Thank you, Julian.

Thank you, everyone!

Thank you.

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Kimberly, I just had the most wonderful dream!

Good, good.

Everybody was there�

It was a huge party-

7:15! It can't be 7:15.

If I don't get to the lab and feed my rat, he'll chew through the cage

and I'll even look good to him.

Please, let's not talk about vermin before breakfast okay?

- I have to tell you about my dream! - Later, okay?

I won't remember it later!

Hey, be nice to me!

Today's a very important day.

It sure is.

We're getting a big shipment of burger buns at The Pit! See ya!

I hope your buns are moldy.

Well, hello, boys.

Mm-hmm.

Catching up on some reading, I see.

Mm-hmm.

Let me know when you get to page 21.

What happens on page 21?

Let's just say it's an extremely important turning point for the heroine.

I'm reading Moby Dick.

There's no woman in this book,

unless you know something about Moby I don't.

Yeah.

Julian!

Oh. You look beautiful. Hmm.

So do you.

I've never been so happy to see someone in all my 21 years.

This is gonna be a great day.

- Is it? - Yup.

When I was playing ball,

I ran into one of my old Georgetown buddies, Jake Turnbow.

That's wonderful.

Yeah, he and I are really tight.

He's only in town for one day. We're gonna grab some pizzas

and shoot some pool.

We're supposed to have dinner tonight.

We were? I completely forgot.

But Jake's leaving in the morning. We can have dinner tomorrow.

Tomorrow don't mean diddly to me, Julian! Not diddly!

What is her problem?

- Today's her birthday. - What?

- She didn't tell you? - No.

Didn't you read the ad in the Hillman paper?

No. I'll call Jake and cancel� I can't do that.

I didn't get his number.

We planned an all-girls surprise party for after your dinner.

But we can have the party earlier!

I just have to somehow get Whitley out of the room.

All girls? Great.

I'll wear my good dress.

No, it's casual. Wear something comfortable.

Yo, they're giving Whitley an all-girls' surprise party tonight at Gilbert.

I am sick and tired of this all-girl group mentality.

It started with The Supremes, but it's ending tonight at Hillman.

Just ignore them. Just ignore them.

No, man! This is dangerous.

One minute their cutting cake.

The next minute, they're slicing all the brothers to shreds!

But they always do that!

I'm telling you, this is a put-down powwow.

These women are gonna work themselves into such a hostile frenzy,

they won't accept dates for weeks!

We have to end this madness.

Let's crash the party.

Let's kidnap Whitley.

What are you, stupid or stupid?

I'm talking about a friendly kidnap.

We'll grab the unsuspecting birthday girl,

at some late-night hour.

And, hopefully,

she'll be wearing some sexy, slinky sleepwear�

Wait a minute, I like this now.

- Where can we take her? - I don't know�

I think it's time Miss Gilbert was baptized Hillman-style�

We'll throw her in the founder's fountain in the quad.

Yes!

- Shall we bring Ernest? - No!

Hi, Kim.

We'll see about that.

Kimberly Reese! I need you at the Dutch oven!

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Now!

And bring your mitts.

Walter, by any chance, did I receive any colossal floral arrangements today?

A colossal floral arrangement?

I didn't see any.

I get any packages?

You did get a package. It's in my apartment.

Hope it's a big one.

No, hope it's a small one- that means jewels.

Happy birthday, Whitley.

Jaleesa, you remembered?

That's better than nobody.

Still charming at 21.

Well, it's a shame, though.

I didn't get a chance to shop for a present.

Doesn't matter what size the gift� unless you're giving a house.

Here you go.

"Ruby's pot of gloss."

You're a peach, Jaleesa.

So is the lip gloss.

I will cherish this small crumb as long as I live.

You do whatever you have to do.

Enjoy!

Here it is. And it's mighty small.

I think we're talking about breakfast, lunch and dinner at Tiffany's.

Look, Walter.

It's addressed to me. "Wiley Gimblet."

Ooh. Titi must have been chewing on mama's reading glasses.

Ooh. A sample bottle of nap-back activator.

You can reactivate your diamonds with that�

Miss Gimblet.

�and a bottle of your best red wine.

Yes, I have ID.

I turned 21 today.

Thank you.

Does that mean I get a free bottle of vino?

Send it, anyway.

Now�

for ambience.

Now, for guests.

Hi, Denzel.

It's Whitley.

I know you're busy with your movies

and awards and everything

but today's my 21st birthday.

And contrary to popular opinion, it is a very special occasion.

I have reached the age of consent

in every state.

I hope you don't mind.

I took it upon myself to order for both of us.

I read in Ebony, you loved Italian food.

Come on, Denzie.

Oops, don't dribble!

Here, I'll put you right here near the linguine.

I'm sorry.

Is that tack in your head giving you a headache?

Kimberly Reese,

you've been on that phone all day.

You're gonna give that quarter a heatstroke.

Mr. Gaines, I'm trying to make an important phone call.

Well, it can wait.

My wieners and beans won't.

It's all clear. Come on!

Let's go!

? I've been working on the railroad ?

? All the live long� ?

Whitley Gilbert, I'm coming to get you.

This is the place.

Yeah, this wall looks pretty sturdy.

I like that.

Here we go.

Uh�

- Quick question, Spidey. - Yeah?

Why are you scaling the wall?

This is standard kidnap procedure.

Okay.

You don't mind if I take the stairs, do you?

What if she's naked?

It's too early to be naked.

Nakedness knows no time.

Don't you look in nobody's windows! I'll look first.

Okay. You've been trying longer.

This is a private party, right, baby?

Whitley do you want to be kidnapped?

Or, have you been kidnapped?

Wanna see my new birthday underwear?

Oh, my God!

- Black lace- - She's naked, isn't she?

Well, don't be hogging up the view!

Ron!

Ron, get up here and look at this!

Is she naked?

Is he gonna be all right, Walt?

I don't know, man.

- Does this hurt? - Ow!

- Does that hurt? - Ah!

- How about this? - Ooh!

He's messed up, man.

Walter, would you stop poking at me and call me an ambulance?

It is on its way,

and it's gonna take y'all to the psychiatric ward

where they will lock your two stupid butts up!

- Dwayne? - Here, bud.

- Dwayne? Dwayne? - I'm here.

What?

Was she naked?

Down the Hatchie, Fort Apache.

You know what garlic bread does to me, Denzel?

It makes me hot!

Makes my every nerve ending stand at attention

and they're all saluting you.

And they think I'm a lady, Denzel.

But I'd go cheap for you.

Look at my wine selection.

Talk to me, daddy.

Rock my world.

Make me call your name.

Denzel!

Denzel!

All this excitement for just $3.99.

This is pathetic!

I told you, we should've gotten the girl a stripogram,

and left it at that.

Come on, Whitley. Come on.

Why don't you and Denzel come on down to our room?

Excuse me, get your own man!

She would've been better off kidnapped.

Oh. Good.

Now all my friends are here.

I have something to say to each and every one of you

and I hope you're listening.

Kiss my patootie!

We tried to get her, but look at that.

Dwayne and Ron are on thier way over here to kidnap Whitley,

and mess up the party.

Party?

First you guys forget, then you try and remember.

Let me tell you, I wasn't born yesterday, okay?

I was born today, and you forgot!

Whitley, come on, baby, put Denzel down,

or you'll wind up in the Founder's Fountain,

doing the backstroke.

The backstroke? I love the backstroke!

- That's my favorite stroke. - Okay, come on.

Look, I won this for first place in the first grade for swimming�

Ron is lucky it's just a sprain. It could've been much worse.

Now I'm gonna make the rules real clear.

No more wall-climbing no more roof-hopping,

no entering the building through the chimney, unless you got gifts.

I had that same injury when I was in school.

Were you trying to break into a dorm at the time?

No, it was a battlefield injury.

- I played football for Bolton state. - Bolton? I'm impressed.

Yeah. I played three sports.

Got hurt in every one of them.

They named a scar after me.

Hmm. I majored in sports medicine at Lincoln.

I thought you majored in dimples.

Yeah!

You might've seen one of my scars in your textbook.

It's shaped like Mickey Mouse. I'll show it to you-

I don't think we know each other well enough.

You sure? I can make its ears wiggle, and go "Hey, there, boys and girls."

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

What?

I'm lying here, pre-traction and he's macking on my doctor.

He's just talking to her.

Yo, Walter! Her number's 9-1-1.

Turn on some sirens and let's book out of here!

- Hey, Dwayne? - I'm right here.

Was she really naked?

One-two-three-four!

? They say it's your birthday ?

? It's my birthday, too, yeah ?

? They say it's your birthday ?

? You're gonna have a good time� ?

I will never buy another bottle of wine with 99 cents after the decimal point.

You brought your own food.

Good move.

Food.

Looks like somebody fell off the vino van.

Ladies, what will it be?

I'd like waffles, sausage and jelly doughnuts, please.

One spinster special!

God, that's so sexist.

Do you have a man?

Make that two spinster specials.

Ooh.

Well, I don't get it.

A bunch of bachelorettes

on a waffle binge at Arabelle's on date night?

All men are swine.

Come on, girls.

I feel like I'm at a basset hound convention.

Listen, my grandmother Louisa always said,

"Every pot has its lid."

Of course, she buried six husbands.

Now I'd like to see Julian pushing up some daisies.

Oh, Whitley, come on.

Are you going to ruin a perfectly good relationship

just because the guy forgot your birthday?

Yes.

The man didn't know it was your birthday.

Why didn't you just come out and tell him?

That's not my job, Kimberly!

It's his job to find out.

He must have missed that part of the pre-relationship interview.

If he really cared, he would've rifled through my belongings

to find the info.

Do you know when his birthday is?

February 28th. He's a Pisces, Leo Rising, and born in the Year of the Dog.

He has a birthmark in a place not often seen by the sun.

Forget the sun. Have you seen it?

No, he told me.

Honestly, now when is this man

going to stop this honest and direct nonsense

and start playing some games?

Jaleesa, in all your years,

haven't you learned that honesty is death to romance?

Whitley, old girl�

you are now 21-years-old,

and if you are ever going to have an adult relationship,

these games of yours have got to stop.

It's not like Walter ever forgot your birthday.

He just left you cold at the altar.

Ding-ding-de-dang!

That was a mutual decision.

And because we were up-front with each other,

we were able to save ourselves from making a huge mistake.

Now, we are both friends, okay?

All I want is his happiness.

Here comes happy.

Booth or table?

I think she better make it a coffin.

Jaleesa don't be upset. Have a little cobbler.

Tastes just like that lip gloss you gave me.

Hey, Ernest, is Whitley's party going on still?

No, Kim found out some idiots were trying to kidnap Whitley.

So she took her somewhere else to celebrate.

What happened to you, man?

We just got back from a Ninja Turtle convention.

- Yeah. - Okay.

It was good.

Hello.

Surprise!

Shut up.

If it isn't the Hillman body snatchers.

Well, at least we can say we said "happy birthday" on your birthday.

I got this for you at the hospital gift shop.

It's a number one.

Well, you'll always be my number one babe, Whitley.

Thank you, Dwayne.

You like it?

Well, my birthday wasn't a total bust.

I do wish I had told Julian, though.

- How are you doing, man? - Not as good as you.

- Dwayne? - Yeah, bro?

Was she really naked?

I guess it was awkward back there at Arabelle's.

Awkward?

I know you saw me with that woman.

Yeah, her.

I guess she's all right if you like that type.

What type is that?

Six months ago, she was a man.

Check it out.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

I have been looking all over for you.

Julian.

Why didn't you just tell me that it was your birthday?

I know, I should have.

I never should have made this a test of your love for me.

I'm sorry for playing games with you, Julian.

Are there any other important dates I should know about?

Holidays, anniversaries,

symbolic rituals?

There's February 15.

The day we met.

That's so sweet.

I have a present for you.

Oh.

You're giving me the world.

And that's just the beginning.

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