Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it We can take it ?

? Hey, just remember that You've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Boy, you look good tonight. Let me look at you. Yeah.

Yes?

Your Math� Uh-oh.

Whoo.

Silk pajamas? Girl, you better watch out.

You might slip-slide right out of the bed.

So what's the occasion?

Julian's birthday.

Ah.

That's a little personal for the 13th date.

But who's counting?

How are you and Leslie Gaskins?

Leslie Gaskins is yesterday's news-

the obituary section.

Honestly, Dwayne, I don't know what you're looking for.

I don't think you do, either.

I cannot keep track of the women you've been out with

since our little�

- our� - Involvement.

I can hardly call a few irresponsible,

albeit memorable moments of passion,

an involvement.

Whitley, the only thing irresponsible about those memorable moments

is that there weren't enough of them.

You just got cold feet.

I did not get cold feet.

You got big gunboat, Queen Mary-sized mothers.

Don't even try it.

Dwayne, I just had the sense to realize

that we are in different places.

Yeah. I was at home plate.

You was hung up between first and second.

We aren't talking about me.

We're talking about you

and why you're having such a difficult time finding a woman.

Now what is it you exactly want in a woman?

Well, I guess I want someone who's attractive

intelligent, church-going, a little kinky�

someone who won't play hacky sack with my heart.

Did I mention a little kinky? Got to be kinky.

Dwayne, I'm sure there are plenty of women on campus

that have what you're looking for and�

I'm going to help you find one!

Wait, you going to hook me up?

No way, baby. I'd rather date Mike Tyson in a hair weave.

I'm just offering to help a friend.

Ah, friend. The old "F" word.

For goodness sake.

You women don't get it, don't you. No man wants to be told by a woman

he once did or did not have involvement with

that they're just friends.

Dwayne, friendship is one of life's most valuable treasures.

Ooh.

Please let me fix you up?

No way.

No friendly way, Whitley.

Better act like we enjoying the food.

Bad news about our poker game.

Dr. Settles is dropping out.

He was named vice-chancellor of Morehouse.

- Man, that's tragic. - Tell me about it.

He was the biggest pigeon of the foresome, next to you.

Have you got a replacement lined up?

How about Homer Pinson at buildings and grounds?

That henpecked handyman?

He's got to get his wife's permission

to go out and get the paper. Besides, he can't play poker.

What about Elaine Hancock in the bursar's office?

She's always going to Atlantic City to play blackjack.

Wait, better than that.

Dr. Pettigrew.

Remember casino night? She won everything in sight.

Why don't we just cancel the game this week?

- Give us time to find the right man. - Good idea.

Wait a minute. What about the two women I just suggested?

Women are good at bid whist but poker is a man's territory.

Oh, wait, wait.

I beg your pardon.

Will somebody get a time machine

and bring this knucklehead back to the 20th century?

Well, it won't be me, because he's right.

- Forget it. - Look, I love women. I respect women.

I have a mama.

But women don't have the necessary killer instinct.

I know I can play some poker.

Now I bet I can teach any woman on this campus

to beat the pants off of both of you Neanderthals.

- Is that so? - Yes!

I'd be able to teach Stevie Wonder to beat any woman on this campus.

And he'll write a song about it.

Is that so?

Kobie, Kobie.

Can I speak to you, please?

- Yes. - Do you know how to play poker?

No, but I'm very good at soccer.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Forget Stevie.

That's your man.

Now I have five dollars that say

you cannot teach him to pull the deck out of the box.

Ten says you can't teach Freddie Brooks how to set up a card table.

You are on.

Saturday, in my room.

Fine. And may the best man win.

Son, you look miserable.

Come on. Tell me about it now, so I don't see that face in my class.

Well, sir, there's this girl. I won't say who she was.

We started out as friends

and we started getting a little friendlier�

- I got the picture. - �till she gloms onto some fresh meat.

Now that we're "just friends" again,

has the nerve to hook me up with somebody.

Son, read my lips.

Go on the date.

That's what Ron said.

He's right for once.

You've got to show this woman that you can move on just like she did.

- Go on the date. - What if the woman she picks

turns out to be a swamp pony?

Boy.

Your friend has too much of an ego

to set you up with anything less than a knockout.

That's what Walter said!

Then boy, will you quit boring everybody with your problems

and go on the date?

I found you a woman.

Great! Who is she?

Megan Lewis.

The Megan Lewis? Get out of here.

She finds you adorable.

My God, I've never been out with anybody that fine before.

Well, here's your big chance.

Thank you, Whitley!

That's what friends are for.

- Thank you! - There you go. Okay.

I have two days to teach you how to be a poker playing pro.

Why?

Because Walter Oakes�

AKA Mr. Macho,

keep them pregnant, barefoot and bid whist playing-

assumes that women cannot play poker.

- What? - Mm-hmm.

Who does he think he is, making a sweeping generalization

on the basis of somebody's sex?

Isn't that just like a man?

Let's go, coach.

All right! That is the spirit.

All right!

Shuffle me up!

Deal me down!

Toss me in!

Just two days, huh?

Testing, testing.

The object of this game is to get as many cards as you can in one hand

preferably the face cards.

What are face cards?

I'm glad you asked me that, Kobie.

Face cards are cards with faces. See?

Jack.

Queen.

King.

And the Ace.

Now the Ace is so bad, it doesn't need a face.

These are the top four cards in the deck.

Now I see.

So these four cards are always on the top.

Kobie, I'm going to get some more two-hour tapes.

Megan, I don't get it.

You are pretty, you are smart.

You got a great sense of humor, girl,

but you're free, single and ready to mingle?

- Isn't it awful? - Yes, it is.

There's got to be a reason.

You're a vampire, ain't you?

Dwayne, Megan.

Well, I'll be.

Julian, it's Dwayne and Megan.

Julian and Whitley.

If I read of this coincidence in a little novel,

I'd say, "Too, too strange."

My, my.

We've got some time before the movie. Why don't we join you?

Oh, yes. Indeed.

Why don't we join them?

Yeah.

Excuse me.

She means two cappuccinos, please.

Coming right up.

Megan, you look great in that dress.

Yeah, doesn't my girl look good?

- Yeah. - Lovely.

I prefer your green one, though. It's not quite so clingy a dress.

We know we can't always make it to that gym every day.

Ah.

Hey, Megan, after this, why don't we go over to Club Melanie?

- Can you do the electric slide? - You'll have to teach me.

No problem. When I was a kid, I used to cut Denny Terrio's grass.

I hate to be Betty bad news, but snow is in the forecast.

I don't think you should drive out that far.

I know how to keep a lady warm in the snow.

I don't doubt that you do

but she shouldn't be out in this weather considering your cold, Megan.

It's been months since I've had a cold.

Those viruses never really die, I'd hate to see a wonderful first date

ruined by a sudden attack of coughing, wheezing postnasal drip

and phlegm and mucus.

Honey, I don't think this is the proper pre-dinner conversation.

Thank you.

And your table's ready.

Oh, thank goodness.

You two have a nice evening.

Right back at you, Julian.

I think I left my scarf in there.

It's right here.

You don't have to chasing after them all through the restaurant.

What a relief.

Well, here's to you, cupid.

What a movie!

I love Denzel Washington.

He's so strong, yet vulnerable.

So, how long did you date Dwayne?

Excuse me?

Dwayne. How long did you date him?

Well, I hate to laugh, sweetie,

but Dwayne and I are like brother and sister.

Hey, if you don't wanna talk about it, you don't have to.

We both have pasts.

Yes, let's not dwell on the past.

Let's deal with the present.

I'm for that.

When you hit the dance floor,

it was soul train all over.

All aboard!

I will never say good-bye, mon amour,

only a bientot.

Why don't y'all just get a room?

I've got tickets for the dance Theatre of Harlem.

I'm sitting front row center. I put you in the balcony.

I don't want you around all those beautiful dancers.

You don't have to worry.

I've dated them all.

But that was in my past.

I'll call you.

Yes.

Hey.

I think your "brother" wants to talk to you.

Whitley, I gotta thank you.

Megan and I had a wonderful time.

- Really? - Yes.

We did that new dance from Brazil, the one that's been banned.

- The lambada? - Yeah. It was hot.

I thought all those Brazilians knew was coffee and soccer.

I'm happy for both you and Megan.

Now that surprises me, considering you tried to ruin the evening.

"Ruin?"

You saw me with another woman and it drove you crazy.

Ha! Big laugh!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

You couldn't take your eyes off me.

Only Julian kept you from winding up in a salsa band, playing the congas.

You are the most self-centered person on earth!

Isn't it awful?

Me and Megan are going out to get my birthday present

and it won't be no funky pajamas

'cause I don't wear them, baby.

You're doing it wrong.

But I'm doing it.

- Ready? - Ready.

Ah. Okay�

Oh, please.

- Kobie? I was wrong about these women. - Yeah.

They did not skip town.

They stuck around to take their butt kickings like men.

Oh�

I feel like throwing up.

I feel like throwing down.

Uh-oh.

All right. Let's get this humiliation started.

We are not playing with your cards.

Why not?

Because I used to date you.

We're not gonna using your cards.

Because while you were dating me, I was dating you.

- Look, Walter- - Let's use my practice deck.

- Fine. - Okay.

I'm sorry. Ladies first.

Thank you.

You know, Freddie,

some people think that women cannot play cards.

So what do you say, we play a little five-card draw,

no wild cards,

25 cents to open.

Ante up.

Walter, there'll be no coughing, no stretching,

no ear pulling, no choking�

As a matter of fact,

just don't move.

The only move I'll be making

is taking your money and putting it in my pocket.

Hmm.

Freddie, what you got?

- Give me three. - Okay.

- Not a happy number. - Give you three. One, two.

All I need is one.

Ooh, the right one.

Okay, Kobie?

- Yes. May I take five, please? - Man, turn your cards over!

Sure.

Okay, dealer takes two.

All right, Freddie, let's hear it.

A pair of eights.

And the rest is garbage.

What a shame.

Full house� Jacks high, baby.

Kobie, what about you?

All garbage.

Hey, don't worry about it, brother. That's your first hand.

- You're from another country. - Yep.

Now, Jaleesa, show me what you got, so I can take the pot.

Well, all I seem to have is two pair�

of Queens!

Ah-ah!

Don't you just love the ladies?

Hey, accidents happen.

Do we leave now?

No, Kobie, we don't leave now.

I'm not leaving till I get everything Jaleesa owns

including your 18-hour girdle.

Fine. You could use it.

Ooh!

Hey, look who it is.

Hi, Whitley.

Hello, Ronald.

Ooh!

You could freeze a side of beef with that cold shoulder.

You know how women are.

Sometimes they just wake up evil!

Speaking of evil, you seem a little cranky yourself.

Don't tell me sweet Megan turn sweet 'n' sour?

No, she's beautiful, man.

Should I put another toothbrush on the shopping list?

You know what? I was crazy to let Whitley hook me up

and even crazier for listening to you,

Colonel Taylor, Walter, Mr. Gaines, and that UPS man.

Does this mean you're not going to see her again?

I'm not saying that. I don't see a future here.

- Well, there you go. There you go. - What?

Ever since I've known you,

some babe has had you eating out of her shoe.

First it was Denise.

Then there was Suzanne.

The list is endless.

Ron�

No, man. It's your turn. Make them pay.

The women had their decade.

This is the '90s. It's over. The brothers are back!

El foldo. I'm out.

If you want to see my hand, it will cost you another dollar.

I have a flush�

All right, Kobie!

- �right down the toilet. - Man!

All right. All right.

Three kings. Beat that!

Well, Walter, if you insist.

Ten�

Jack�

King�

Ace�

Queen�

Pay your taxes to the queen.

Walter, I believe you are now, what? Six dollars in the hole.

I'd be very happy to make you a loan.

- All right, last game. - No!

Bet everything. Winner take all.

This time we're playing seven-card stud.

Why don't we make it nine?

Make it ten.

One-eyed Jacks. Loco Kings.

Everything's wild.

No rules!

Do you want to get a pizza?

No, I can't afford it.

Wait a minute guys, here.

Here. Get yourselves a large.

It's on Walter.

Thanks, man.

Coming.

We have to talk.

Whitley, as much as I hate the "F" word,

your friendship means too much to me.

I can't stand all this tension between us.

Neither can I.

Which is why I've come up with the following friendship rules.

I put a lot of thought into this.

Someone put a lot of thought into the beanbag chair, too.

"Rule number one,

"no discussion about each other's love life

"until it's mutually agreed upon."

Reason?

I can't deal with it� yet.

"Rule number two�"

Ahem!

"No more fixing anybody up."

Reason?

You can't deal with it.

- Oh! - Oh.

Mr. Chairman, I have a rule.

Please.

Real friends don't need rules.

As far as you're concerned,

we're friends like you and Kim?

Yes!

Ah! So this means you and Kim have kissed?

Every night and twice on Sunday.

Dwayne, I know it's difficult

but I don't understand why two mature adults

can't talk about any and every thing,

even love lives.

Okay, Whitley. We'll try it your way.

Thank you.

Oh! Marjorie Hicks said to say "hello."

Marjorie Hicks?

I'm taking her to the consorts dance next week.

Oh. You have a wonderful time,

although I think you could do better than that front-running little snigglet

who has the class of a road hog.

Yeah, we'll have some real mature talks about our love life.

Dwayne, I only said that

because you are too decent for her.

Have some pride!

What was that again? A front-running little snigglet?

Shut up.

Had I known things would get so complicated, darling,

I would have never kissed you.

That's a lovely sentiment.

No. Think about it.

Every time we kissed, it was during some disaster.

We kissed during Walter and Jaleesa's wedding.

We kissed in a blizzard.

I kept you warm in the snow, didn't I?

You know what? I just thought of a rule

that would knock out all the other rules.

What is it?

You and I should share one more kiss.

This way,

we completely close the books on our involvement.

- Dwayne� - What?

- No! - Why not?

I can't.

I have a boyfriend.

Hello? Did we forget?

Listen, I'm ready to kiss this whole thing good-bye.

I'm not talking about

a tonsil-sucking, gum-surgery, Jacques Cousteau wet one.

- Oh. - Just a friendly smooch between friends.

Kiss me, baby.

No.

Give the baby a kiss.

Okay.

One friendly kiss.

Just one.

- Mouths closed. - Mm-hmm.

That's it?

Bye, buddy. Rules are rules.

Walter�

It has been a pleasure playing poker with you.

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