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1
00:00:05,633 --> 00:00:08,933
? I know my parents loved me ?
2
00:00:09,566 --> 00:00:13,033
{\an8}? Stand behind me
Come what may ?
3
00:00:14,466 --> 00:00:18,000
{\an8}? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?
4
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:22,333
? For I finally heard them say ?
5
00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:25,433
? It's a different world ?
6
00:00:26,733 --> 00:00:28,633
{\an8}? Than where you come from ?
7
00:00:29,533 --> 00:00:32,066
{\an8}? Yes, it is now, yeah ?
8
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,466
{\an8}? Here's our chance to make it ?
9
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:39,700
{\an8}? And if we focus on our goal ?
10
00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:44,466
{\an8}? You can dish it
We can take it ?
11
00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:48,600
{\an8}? Hey, just remember
That you've been told ?
12
00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:51,933
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
13
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,533
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
14
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,366
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
15
00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:58,066
{\an8}? It's a different world ?
16
00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:00,113
{\an8}? Yeah, than where you come from ?
17
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,599
{\an8}? Than where you come from ?
18
00:01:04,801 --> 00:01:09,199
{\an8}Milt, the basket is only seven-foot-six.
19
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,932
{\an8}You want us to tilt it for you?
20
00:01:10,933 --> 00:01:13,200
{\an8}Or a stepladder to get you closer?
21
00:01:13,266 --> 00:01:14,826
{\an8}Come on. Put something up.
22
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:16,033
{\an8}Time is money.
23
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:18,400
I'm just delaying your humiliation.
24
00:01:18,466 --> 00:01:20,533
I hate it when you cry in public.
25
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,100
Ah-ha?
26
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,966
- Just like old times.
- Oh-ho-ho.
27
00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:29,500
Even more like old times.
28
00:01:29,566 --> 00:01:30,706
Don't get carried away.
29
00:01:30,766 --> 00:01:33,266
- I always let people from back home win.
- Mmm-hmm.
30
00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:36,100
Ron, when my mom was in town,
31
00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:39,766
didn't I let her drive the lane
and throw up that weak stuff?
32
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,733
- I still say she traveled.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:45,066
Milt, I can't get over you.
34
00:01:45,133 --> 00:01:47,566
In junior high, he was such a troublemaker
35
00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:50,366
the principal had to start
a dishonor roll.
36
00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:53,333
Principal Simonson still
hasn't found his toupee.
37
00:01:53,433 --> 00:01:54,900
Ooh!
38
00:01:54,966 --> 00:01:56,500
So what does this bum do?
39
00:01:56,566 --> 00:01:58,126
He buckles down in high school,
40
00:01:58,133 --> 00:01:59,900
graduates cum laude from Penn,
41
00:01:59,966 --> 00:02:02,566
gets a hot-shot Wall Street job
and in two years,
42
00:02:02,633 --> 00:02:06,233
is director of mergers
and acquisitions at Addison Rand.
43
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,833
It only took a year and a half.
44
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,699
If you're gonna gush, get it right.
45
00:02:09,766 --> 00:02:13,000
Put your corporate concerns
in your briefcase
46
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,566
because this weekend
you'll experience Hillman hospitality
47
00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:17,665
at its finest.
48
00:02:17,666 --> 00:02:20,966
Yes. Tomorrow, we're having
a get-together in your honor.
49
00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:22,065
Sounds great.
50
00:02:22,066 --> 00:02:23,333
As long as I'm not paying.
51
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,000
Just a few close friends.
52
00:02:25,066 --> 00:02:27,966
And a few co-eds
we'd like to get closer to.
53
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:29,550
- Ron.
- Yo?
54
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,633
Bag the bimbos.
55
00:02:32,966 --> 00:02:34,066
All of them?
56
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:35,933
Every last one of 'em.
57
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,366
Aw, dag�
58
00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:40,266
Angelene was looking forward
to meeting a man with a job.
59
00:02:48,466 --> 00:02:50,700
If anything goes wrong
60
00:02:50,766 --> 00:02:52,833
I'll be at the King Baltimore hotel.
61
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,500
The Chesapeake Regional
Servicemen's reunion.
62
00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:56,766
I give you the number?
63
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:57,865
Yes, sir.
64
00:02:57,866 --> 00:02:58,966
Seven times.
65
00:02:59,033 --> 00:03:00,433
Only seven times?
66
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,166
Then that means I trust you.
67
00:03:02,966 --> 00:03:05,600
Well, Brad, are you ready to go?
68
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:07,933
Yeah, I've just taught my last class.
69
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,050
Dropped off the cat.
Ready to hit the road.
70
00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:11,766
I can hardly wait for this reunion.
71
00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:14,366
I've been practicing my war stories.
72
00:03:14,433 --> 00:03:17,566
I even pulled out
my old uniform from Korea.
73
00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:19,433
- It still fits?
- Just fine.
74
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,266
- Except for one thing.
- What?
75
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:24,233
For some reason my hat was too big.
76
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,533
I wonder why?
77
00:03:30,154 --> 00:03:33,932
So, man, when did you meet Dwayne Wayne?
78
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:35,299
When did I first meet Dwayne?
79
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,833
That's what I just said.
80
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,640
On my way to the principal's office.
81
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:42,133
They had a chair with your name on it.
82
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,400
I saw this skinny third-grader
with this head.
83
00:03:45,401 --> 00:03:48,599
It was so big, it looked like
it belonged on a man's body.
84
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,600
- Oh!
- It still does.
85
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:54,800
It was one of the biggest heads
that any of us had ever seen.
86
00:03:57,366 --> 00:04:00,400
Two barbers had to cut that boy's hair
with a lawn mower.
87
00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:04,200
You just wait till I meet your friends.
88
00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:05,700
When I first met Dwayne�
89
00:04:05,766 --> 00:04:08,776
and don't let me get started
on those love boat feet of yours.
90
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:12,933
Milton, did this particular big head boy
91
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,066
have any romantic escapades
worth mentioning?
92
00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:19,933
Does not include playing Doctor
with your fat cousin Rosie.
93
00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,466
I got to tell them about the liplocker.
94
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,866
Oh!
95
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,933
Milton, I'll give you $5 not to.
96
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,500
I will give you ten if you do.
97
00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:31,233
Twenty if you have pictures.
98
00:04:31,284 --> 00:04:33,232
Sorry, man.
99
00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:34,283
Money talks.
100
00:04:34,284 --> 00:04:37,699
- There was this girl in the seventh grade.
- Milton.
101
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:38,833
Daphne Cooper.
102
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:40,000
- Milton.
- Daphne?
103
00:04:40,633 --> 00:04:42,800
Daphne's head was bigger than his.
104
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,300
It was Dwayne's first big dance.
105
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:48,500
He and Daphne were slow-dancing�
106
00:04:48,566 --> 00:04:49,733
cranium to cranium.
107
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,300
All of a sudden, they were gone.
108
00:04:52,366 --> 00:04:54,566
Dwayne wanted to get a good night kiss
109
00:04:54,633 --> 00:04:56,833
before his mother came to pick him up.
110
00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:00,200
So, they snuck inside a gym locker.
111
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:01,566
Two hours later,
112
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:04,499
Dwayne's mother, Daphne's father
and the fire department
113
00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,866
had to pry them out with the jaws of life.
114
00:05:09,166 --> 00:05:10,266
I'll say this.
115
00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,700
I haven't been kissed like that since.
116
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,300
- Ooh!
- How touching.
117
00:05:14,366 --> 00:05:17,633
That reminds me of the time
Dwayne and I were in Sloppy Nick's.
118
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,200
We were waiting on our pizzas.
119
00:05:19,266 --> 00:05:21,833
Dwayne was checking out
this girl, real cute,
120
00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:23,632
but he's too shy to go and talk to her.
121
00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:25,666
So I walked up to her and I said,
122
00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:28,100
"Dwayne was a talent scout
for Morris Day."
123
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,833
- Can I use your bathroom?
- Yes.
124
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:34,966
I'm out of here, man.
125
00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:49,366
Brad, I'm sorry about your car.
126
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,533
I didn't know the wall was that close.
127
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,632
It's okay, Vern.
128
00:05:53,633 --> 00:05:56,900
When you get it repainted
make sure they do the entire right side.
129
00:05:56,901 --> 00:05:59,632
It'll cost you more
but that way, the color will match.
130
00:05:59,633 --> 00:06:00,800
I'll consider it.
131
00:06:00,866 --> 00:06:04,066
And make sure
they completely strip the old paint.
132
00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:07,000
That way, the new coat
won't flake like dandruff.
133
00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:10,000
- Nice turnout.
- Yes, seems like it.
134
00:06:10,066 --> 00:06:11,200
Uh-huh.
135
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:13,300
Oh, my goodness!
136
00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:16,800
Tell me that's not "No Clue" Carruthers.
137
00:06:16,866 --> 00:06:18,133
When I was in Korea
138
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,700
all that man did was run his mouth
from sun-up to sundown.
139
00:06:21,766 --> 00:06:24,066
On and on. You ever seen people like that?
140
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,900
Mmm-hmm.
141
00:06:27,466 --> 00:06:29,756
We always said
the quickest way to end the war
142
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:32,932
would be to send him up to the front line
and let him talk the enemy to death.
143
00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:36,066
I wish I'd stayed home
with Velma and canned plums.
144
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,565
Vern, don't work yourself up.
145
00:06:37,566 --> 00:06:39,466
He probably won't recognize you.
146
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,523
- Know what I mean?
- Don't touch my head.
147
00:06:42,566 --> 00:06:44,366
Excuse me, fellas.
148
00:06:44,433 --> 00:06:46,266
Sergeant Herndon Carruthers.
149
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,033
457 Bomb Disposal.
150
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:49,666
Kaesong, Korea.
151
00:06:49,733 --> 00:06:51,566
You look awfully familiar.
152
00:06:51,633 --> 00:06:52,900
Lord, lord, lord.
153
00:06:53,966 --> 00:06:55,600
I know who you are.
154
00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,266
You're Vernon Gaines!
155
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,966
The best Mess Sergeant in Korea.
156
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,333
Hmph!
157
00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:05,933
What happened to your hair?
Got shot off in the war?
158
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:15,266
Excuse me, gentlemen.
159
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,766
Wait a minute. Do not leave me with him.
160
00:07:17,833 --> 00:07:19,066
I'll be right back, Vern.
161
00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:21,723
If you're not back in two,
I'm faking a heart attack.
162
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:22,783
Okay, okay.
163
00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:26,666
I hope you don't mind the hugs.
164
00:07:26,733 --> 00:07:29,563
You know, Vernon,
for years, I couldn't hug another man.
165
00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:30,465
Really?
166
00:07:30,466 --> 00:07:32,700
But that all ended last New Year's Eve.
167
00:07:32,766 --> 00:07:35,133
I got this book on hug therapy.
168
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,300
Even birds love to be hugged.
169
00:07:37,366 --> 00:07:39,633
- Really?
- Yeah, come here.
170
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:44,666
Excuse me, Lieutenant Carol Dillon?
171
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,266
Carol Dillon Garrison.
172
00:07:50,466 --> 00:07:52,766
Captain Bradford Taylor.
173
00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:55,033
Colonel Bradford Taylor.
174
00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:59,200
Aw. Except for the rank,
you haven't changed one bit.
175
00:07:59,266 --> 00:08:00,866
- Neither have you.
- Aw.
176
00:08:01,484 --> 00:08:03,432
Wait a minute.
177
00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:05,600
Garrison? Oh, no. Garrison?
178
00:08:05,666 --> 00:08:08,066
You married Ben Garrison in Engineers?
179
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:11,765
Long enough for him to get me pregnant
and run off with our divorce lawyer.
180
00:08:11,766 --> 00:08:14,766
- Aw.
- Hey, all is fair in love and war.
181
00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:17,600
I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out.
182
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,500
Come on, let's dance.
183
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,866
So, how about you?
184
00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:28,100
I remember you had a thing
for this UPI photographer.
185
00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:29,800
What was her name� um�
186
00:08:31,266 --> 00:08:32,366
Johanna?
187
00:08:33,466 --> 00:08:36,133
- Well, Johanna and I got married.
- Oh.
188
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,799
She's alive and living well in Germany,
189
00:08:40,866 --> 00:08:42,066
without me.
190
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:44,366
- All the way in Germany?
- All the way.
191
00:08:44,433 --> 00:08:47,266
- I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out.
- Yeah.
192
00:08:48,151 --> 00:08:50,232
Excuse me.
193
00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:51,866
I think I better go call my kids.
194
00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:54,432
If I don't check on them,
my house will look like Saigon
195
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:55,465
by the time I get home.
196
00:08:55,466 --> 00:08:57,816
Carol, I'll wait right here
until you get back.
197
00:08:58,600 --> 00:08:59,766
I'm counting on it.
198
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:07,433
Now dogs, they loved to be hugged.
199
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,833
- Except them Doberman Pinschers.
- Mmm-hmm.
200
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:13,433
I think when they get their ears
and their tails chopped off,
201
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,866
it does something to their personality.
202
00:09:16,633 --> 00:09:18,200
My wife wanted to buy one.
203
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,266
- I like your friends.
- Yeah?
204
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,633
And that Whitley.
205
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,400
Oh! Are you and she�
206
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,766
Sorry, Milt. Whitley's spoken for.
207
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:31,066
Ron, you've never asked the woman out.
208
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:32,966
Does she even know your last name?
209
00:09:33,033 --> 00:09:35,300
- You underestimate-
- That girl is a winner.
210
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,233
She's smart, classy.
211
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:40,733
A future engineer would make it to CEO
with her on his arm.
212
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,433
I see her on the arm of the man
213
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,333
to inherit one of Detroit's
largest auto dealership.
214
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,400
I see you on the arm of an orderly,
215
00:09:47,466 --> 00:09:49,833
being escorted back to your padded room.
216
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:57,233
Stranger things have happened.
217
00:09:58,633 --> 00:10:01,633
One day, his brain is going
to shift out of neutral.
218
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,533
You two really tight?
219
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,233
Partners since freshman year.
220
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:09,466
Ooh, that's too bad.
221
00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:11,400
Why do you say that?
222
00:10:11,466 --> 00:10:14,600
He brings you down, man,
down to his level.
223
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,000
Minute he opened his mouth, I said,
224
00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:19,399
"This is another trifling,
bourgeois brother
225
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,533
"trying to be down."
226
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,266
Wait a minute.
He isn't trying to be anything.
227
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:24,900
He's active in Kappa Lambda Nu
228
00:10:24,901 --> 00:10:26,532
and does a lot at the youth center.
229
00:10:26,533 --> 00:10:28,200
What kind of grades does he make?
230
00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:31,800
People put too much emphasis on grades.
231
00:10:31,801 --> 00:10:33,865
I'll tell you something.
232
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:36,199
You would have been spared
the Rons of the world
233
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,966
if you'd followed me to Penn.
234
00:10:38,033 --> 00:10:40,000
- Oh, man.
- You don't have to be here.
235
00:10:40,066 --> 00:10:42,033
No, I chose to be here, all right?
236
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,600
Hillman is one of the finest
in the country.
237
00:10:44,666 --> 00:10:46,266
For what it is.
238
00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:48,733
This school gives you
a false sense of reality.
239
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,266
Everybody's Black.
240
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:51,733
Everybody's equal.
241
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,270
- That's not the real world.
- I know the real world.
242
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,766
We grew up in it, remember?
243
00:10:55,833 --> 00:10:57,300
- You're not hearing.
- What?
244
00:10:57,366 --> 00:11:00,100
My college friends were the sons of CEOs.
245
00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:01,432
- So?
- You become the best
246
00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:02,866
by being with the best.
247
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:04,366
Who's got the big head now?
248
00:11:04,433 --> 00:11:07,066
Dwayne, you've got a lot to offer�
249
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,400
but not without the right training.
250
00:11:09,401 --> 00:11:11,599
Certainly not by carrying around
dead weight.
251
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,566
Wait a minute.
First, Ron is nobody's dead weight.
252
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,600
Okay? And he's not trifling.
253
00:11:17,733 --> 00:11:19,933
There's a busted water main in Libby Hall.
254
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,100
There's a wet T-shirt contest
commencing as we speak.
255
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,733
Anyone feel like bobbing for beauties?
256
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,666
Sure you don't want to go?
257
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:38,299
Need I remind you, Libby Hall is home
to four cheerleaders and a pre-med
258
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:40,200
that look good even in dry T-shirts.
259
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,166
We're going to stay and clean up.
260
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,866
Yeah, I guess you're right.
261
00:11:44,966 --> 00:11:47,633
Well, thanks for a great evening.
262
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:50,133
Milt, say, you're a financial wiz.
263
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,333
I've got an idea that's got
gold mine written all over it.
264
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,933
- Really?
- Yes.
265
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,833
Indisputable fact A: students are hungry.
266
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:00,666
Indisputable fact B: students stay hungry.
267
00:12:00,733 --> 00:12:01,900
So here's the deal.
268
00:12:01,901 --> 00:12:04,099
We rent some old-fashioned ice cream carts
269
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,333
and we call it� steady yourself now�
270
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:09,700
"Dinner Man. We deliver."
271
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,033
We'll talk about it.
272
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,166
I'm going to get you some information
on Penn. Right away.
273
00:12:20,233 --> 00:12:21,633
"We'll talk about it."
274
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,733
He's lucky he's your homeboy.
275
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,570
Otherwise, his behind
would have been framing my foot.
276
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,733
What's your problem?
277
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,033
Every time I opened my mouth,
Mr. Wall Street Journal breath
278
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,633
cut me off like
I had nothing interesting to say.
279
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:36,766
I didn't notice.
280
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,753
I'm telling you, the man is threatened.
281
00:12:38,766 --> 00:12:40,966
You see, that's why powerful people
282
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:43,533
often surround themselves
with idiots.
283
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,633
Let's clean up in the morning.
284
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:49,000
Milt will think twice
about dissing my ideas
285
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:51,265
when we're rolling in bucks.
Right, partner?
286
00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:52,900
Ron, your idea's dumb.
287
00:12:53,317 --> 00:12:55,265
Dumb?
288
00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:58,800
Yes. How can an ice cream cart
keep dinner warm?
289
00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:01,066
Did I say I had it all figured out?
290
00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:03,300
Do you ever have anything figured out?
291
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,400
Yeah, I have one thing figured out.
292
00:13:05,466 --> 00:13:08,666
Somebody has a pretty bad case
of Miltonitis.
293
00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:11,333
And that buppy-brother is the last person
294
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,066
anyone should want to be like.
295
00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:17,600
And don't let him come try
to buy a car in Detroit.
296
00:13:23,833 --> 00:13:25,766
Hey, Vern. Where have you been?
297
00:13:25,833 --> 00:13:27,700
I went to get away from that man,
298
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:28,933
so I took a bath.
299
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,066
Smart move.
300
00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:31,183
By the way.
301
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:33,866
Your shoes should be dry by tomorrow.
302
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:36,965
What happened to my shoes, Vern?
303
00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:38,500
It was the darndest thing.
304
00:13:38,566 --> 00:13:41,033
I was just about to jump in the tub.
305
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,733
The water felt a little tepid,
306
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,866
so I added some more hot water.
307
00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:46,633
What happened to my shoes?
308
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,166
I turned on the faucet
309
00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:50,933
and next thing I knew,
water was flying everywhere.
310
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,666
Like the Johnstown Flood.
311
00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:55,366
- No, Louisiana, 1950.
- Forget it. Forget it.
312
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:58,132
Today, if you told me my house burned down
to the ground,
313
00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,900
- it wouldn't bother me.
- Uh-huh.
314
00:13:59,966 --> 00:14:03,033
Who was that lovely young lady
I saw you talking to?
315
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,666
That's Carol Garrison.
316
00:14:04,733 --> 00:14:07,066
- Yeah?
- She was a nurse back in Vietnam.
317
00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:09,500
Back then, we just smiled at each other.
318
00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:11,400
But that was then.
319
00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:15,100
It's wise for a man your age
to get hooked up with a nurse.
320
00:14:15,166 --> 00:14:16,366
Watch it.
321
00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:21,266
Yeah, she held that triage unit together.
322
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,133
That woman could handle anything.
323
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,433
Matter of fact, quiet as it's kept,
324
00:14:25,434 --> 00:14:28,332
always thought of her
as the one that got away.
325
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:29,566
Ooh.
326
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:33,200
Here she comes.
327
00:14:33,201 --> 00:14:34,165
Okay.
328
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:35,733
Don't leave me alone again.
329
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:36,850
Take it easy.
330
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:38,850
Vernon.
331
00:14:39,566 --> 00:14:41,600
There you are.
332
00:14:41,666 --> 00:14:43,333
Good thing I recognized you.
333
00:14:45,066 --> 00:14:46,566
If I didn't know better
334
00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:48,600
I'd say you was trying to avoid me.
335
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:51,700
Sorry I took so long.
336
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,000
That's all right.
337
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,166
Everything okay?
338
00:14:54,233 --> 00:14:57,600
My 16-year-old just totaled another car.
339
00:14:57,666 --> 00:14:58,866
His second this year.
340
00:14:58,933 --> 00:15:00,833
He's all right, isn't he?
341
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,100
- His father taught him to drive.
- Uh-huh.
342
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,733
I told Bootsie if he wrecks one more car,
343
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,700
I'll put his behind
in the street with his father.
344
00:15:08,766 --> 00:15:10,733
- You have children?
- I've got two.
345
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,466
Terrence and Suzanne.
346
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:15,483
They're spending the winter
in Germany with their mother.
347
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,866
When they get back,
they'll disobey me in two languages.
348
00:15:18,966 --> 00:15:20,966
Suzanne.
349
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,270
My second husband
married a woman named Suzanne.
350
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,466
No kidding.
351
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:27,766
Her name was really Susan.
352
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:30,366
But he started calling her Suzanne
353
00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:32,000
after Mardi Gras one year.
354
00:15:32,066 --> 00:15:34,266
The French are famous for two things.
355
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,833
The other one is cooking.
356
00:15:38,366 --> 00:15:39,666
I'm so sorry.
357
00:15:39,733 --> 00:15:42,766
- I'm just sitting here puffing away.
- It's okay.
358
00:15:42,833 --> 00:15:44,566
I've been trying for years to stop.
359
00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:47,400
I've tried everything. Shick, Bic, Slick.
360
00:15:47,584 --> 00:15:49,665
It's awful.
361
00:15:49,666 --> 00:15:51,133
After my second divorce,
362
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,266
- I moved up to three packs a day.
- Uh-huh.
363
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:56,366
What worked for me
was just stopping cold turkey.
364
00:15:57,966 --> 00:15:59,800
Don't you think I've tried that?
365
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,133
After all,
I am a health care professional.
366
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:07,333
Come on now, Carol.
I just meant� just don't give up.
367
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,933
I haven't. I found this psychic through
my girlfriend's hairdresser.
368
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,566
- Psychic?
- Mm-hmm.
369
00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:14,533
More accurate than numerologists.
370
00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:18,165
If this girl works out,
I'll have her talk to my shrink
371
00:16:18,166 --> 00:16:19,216
about his drinking.
372
00:16:21,266 --> 00:16:25,333
Carol, somehow I don't think
a psychic is the answer to your problem.
373
00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:28,466
- I mean�
- Problem? You think I have a problem?
374
00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:30,566
Everyone has problems.
375
00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:34,033
Are we getting a little familiar
a little too quickly?
376
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:36,666
I didn't come all the way to Maryland
377
00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:38,100
to be judged, you know.
378
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:39,366
I'm not judging you.
379
00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:40,932
- I'm just saying�
- You know what?
380
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,433
You are just like Bootsie's father.
381
00:16:44,066 --> 00:16:47,000
Now, he thought he knew everything, too.
382
00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:48,032
No.
383
00:16:48,033 --> 00:16:49,766
You don't know me.
384
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:52,866
And you never will.
385
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,433
Carol, all I was saying
was that�
386
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:03,633
You want some company?
387
00:17:04,266 --> 00:17:06,566
Just as long as you're not into psychics
388
00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:08,500
and numerology and shrinks.
389
00:17:08,566 --> 00:17:11,099
No, I'm strictly hug therapy.
390
00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:19,500
What am I going to do?
391
00:17:19,566 --> 00:17:21,599
I will never finish this on time.
392
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,166
Mmm-hmm.
393
00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:26,033
I'll just ask Colonel Taylor
for an extension.
394
00:17:26,099 --> 00:17:28,200
And I know what you're going to say.
395
00:17:28,266 --> 00:17:30,676
"You have more extensions
than Milli Vanilli."
396
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,390
Why don't you ask Colonel Taylor
for an extension?
397
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,500
That's a good idea.
398
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,433
What do you think of Ron?
399
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:41,633
Ron who?
400
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,700
Ron Johnson, my roommate?
401
00:17:43,766 --> 00:17:45,146
How would you describe him?
402
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,100
Well, he� he's silly.
403
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,966
- Obnoxious.
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah, go on.
404
00:17:52,033 --> 00:17:53,433
Boring.
405
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,700
- A bit crude.
- Oof.
406
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,466
- Did I say obnoxious?
- Yeah.
407
00:17:57,533 --> 00:18:00,233
- Okay, well, can't stress that enough.
- Mmm-hmm.
408
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,900
Um�
409
00:18:01,966 --> 00:18:04,733
But you know, there is
a very sweet side to Ron.
410
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,833
He reminds me of a stray puppy.
411
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:10,900
You see, you didn't use words
like "stupid" and "dead weight."
412
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:13,500
Stupid? 'Course he's not stupid.
413
00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:15,699
Wouldn't have been
accepted at this school.
414
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:16,599
Exactly.
415
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,190
Did you ever think about
going to another college?
416
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:23,866
Dwayne, I'm doing the best I can
with this math stuff.
417
00:18:24,566 --> 00:18:27,033
I mean when you were applying to colleges,
418
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,733
was Hillman your first choice?
419
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,500
Of course.
420
00:18:30,566 --> 00:18:33,633
I was accepted at Georgetown,
and when I turned them down,
421
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,133
my guidance counselor threw a hissy fit.
422
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,100
She said she couldn't understand
423
00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:41,333
why a girl with so much to offer
like myself
424
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,966
would limit myself
at a school like Hillman.
425
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:45,233
That's what she told me.
426
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:48,066
- That sounds familiar.
- She didn't understand.
427
00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:50,600
My great-granddaddy was all but accepted
428
00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:52,866
at this certain Ivy League school
429
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:55,233
until he showed up for the interview.
430
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,600
He went to Hillman.
431
00:18:57,666 --> 00:19:00,300
And he became
the first Black circuit judge
432
00:19:00,366 --> 00:19:02,533
of Madison County, Virginia.
433
00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:06,766
He always told me
when I was seven years old,
434
00:19:07,566 --> 00:19:10,900
"Baby, you can go to school anyplace
435
00:19:10,966 --> 00:19:13,466
"but no school will love you
436
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:16,400
"and teach you to love yourself
and know yourself
437
00:19:16,466 --> 00:19:18,066
"like Hillman."
438
00:19:18,133 --> 00:19:22,066
Then he'd start talking about
the Bolsheviks because he's getting-
439
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:24,066
Excuse me. Dwayne?
440
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,616
Sorry I'm late.
441
00:19:27,617 --> 00:19:31,032
You're a little overdressed
to be out here shooting jumpers.
442
00:19:31,033 --> 00:19:33,366
You said I was
a style master on the court.
443
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:34,733
So true.
444
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,033
Look, D.
445
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:40,600
In order to make a point,
maybe I came down a little hard on Ron.
446
00:19:40,601 --> 00:19:42,865
- I still think he's dragging you down-
- Bill, Bill.
447
00:19:42,866 --> 00:19:45,333
We all say things to make points, right?
448
00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:46,533
Right.
449
00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:47,499
Okay.
450
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,066
Did you look at
that information about Penn?
451
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:52,533
I sure did. Penn is a very good school.
452
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:55,866
Ball needs a little air.
453
00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:57,466
Penn is a great school
454
00:19:57,533 --> 00:19:59,366
and they have better basketballs.
455
00:20:02,966 --> 00:20:06,500
So� does this mean
you're thinking about transferring?
456
00:20:06,566 --> 00:20:09,366
I read the Penn catalog,
then I read Hillman's.
457
00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:12,400
Did you know that Hillman has as many PhDs
458
00:20:12,466 --> 00:20:15,433
as most top-ranked schools,
including Penn?
459
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,966
- I didn't know that.
- Now you do.
460
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:21,800
But a PhD is a waste
461
00:20:21,866 --> 00:20:24,666
if you don't have
the right kind of students.
462
00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:29,866
Glad you mentioned that.
463
00:20:29,933 --> 00:20:32,466
I went over to admissions and found out
464
00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:36,300
that over 80% of all
incoming Hillman freshmen
465
00:20:36,366 --> 00:20:38,500
were in the top third of their class.
466
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,333
Ha!
467
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,533
Of course, college
is more than just a degree.
468
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,866
It's about making the right contacts.
469
00:20:48,066 --> 00:20:50,100
I'm glad you mentioned that, too.
470
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:53,933
Did you know about
that Kinishewa internship
471
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,233
I had last semester?
472
00:20:55,866 --> 00:20:58,733
I got hired by the senior vice president,
473
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,633
a Hillman alum.
474
00:21:01,933 --> 00:21:03,233
Ooh!
475
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:07,333
In fact, he told me that after graduation
476
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,500
he'd be happy to give me a job
and pay for grad school.
477
00:21:15,266 --> 00:21:17,466
But I'll be sure to keep Penn in mind.
478
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:20,950
Nice shot.
479
00:21:21,733 --> 00:21:24,383
I guess this ball had a little more air
than I thought.
480
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:28,433
Well, when you get into the real world
481
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,900
and you need some good contacts,
482
00:21:31,733 --> 00:21:32,783
call me.
483
00:21:33,566 --> 00:21:34,866
The real world huh?
484
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:36,950
Keep in touch.
485
00:21:38,066 --> 00:21:42,200
Brother, I think
you need to keep in touch.
486
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:49,500
Take it slow, Milt.
487
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:03,500
"Only 168 hours until
'Dinner man. We deliver.'"
488
00:22:03,566 --> 00:22:05,300
I wrote up a proposal
489
00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:08,533
found an investor
with an old-fashioned ice cream cart
490
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,300
and a portable microwave.
491
00:22:10,366 --> 00:22:12,100
Ron, I got to hand it to you.
492
00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:14,866
All I want you to hand me is the ball.
493
00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:15,983
Here you go.
494
00:22:18,333 --> 00:22:20,866
And none of that soft stuff
like you had with Milt.
495
00:22:20,933 --> 00:22:23,333
Play me tough like you did your mother.
496
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,033
Okay, let's go.
497
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:27,266
Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas.
498
00:22:27,316 --> 00:22:31,866
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