Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it We can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Go away.

I'm busy now.

You really should eat a balanced breakfast.

This is balanced-

"Corn, salt, powdered cheese�"

That's why your hair is nacho colored.

See, I need somebody to take care of me.

Yeah, but your mama is in Buffalo.

Remember that contest at the car wash?

- Hawaiian honeymoon? - Mmm-hmm.

I won.

You won?

That is fantastic. Who you going to take?

My wife.

You do not have one.

You are missing this, woman.

You are missing this.

Walter, missing what?

My proposal to you.

I was going to get around to it

but the Suds and Duds Car Wash said the time is now.

Will you marry me?

You're serious.

Walter� I mean, marriage�

that's such a big step.

I know from experience

this is not something you just jump into.

Will-you-marry-me?

Eventually.

What is the difference between now and eventually?

I will tell you.

Eventually, we will not have a free honeymoon trip in Hawaii.

But Walter, I'm graduating in a few months.

What if I get a job in another state?

Mere details. Look at the big picture.

Sunset in Honolulu, pig roasting over an open fire

and me in a tight Spandex swimsuit.

As enticing as that is

shouldn't we think about this?

Think about it on the plane.

Like my high tops say, "Just do it."

- Just do it. - Is that a yes?

- Yes. - Yes!

Two dozen donuts? Tell me what happened.

Share the story.

Share the pain.

Freddie and I went out on a double date.

With twins. Double the horror.

Two, two, two duds in one.

Ladies, still savoring the memories of your evening

with the Brothers Grimm?

What did you do last night?

Her nails.

That's right.

In preparation for my Saturday night date.

'Cause Friday nights are for amateurs.

Yeah, right.

And when was your last romantic liaison?

You don't remember?

We have an announcement.

Mr. Walter Oakes and Miss Jaleesa Vinson

are getting hitched.

As in married?

- When? - Where?

Why?

Ooh!

When it's right, it's right!

I love it!

I think it's wonderful!

A little sudden, but wonderful.

Don't be a Christmas bride.

You'll undercut your gift potential by a third.

I forgot about gifts.

Glad we're getting hitched in two weeks.

Two weeks?

Walter, what if our families can't make it?

We're all going to be there.

I'll be your maid of honor.

I promise I won't trip over the train. Ha-ha-ha.

Maybe we should keep this simple.

Me and you in the chaplain's office?

I would look rather fly in a top hat

some tails, some real shoes.

Walter, I can't plan a wedding now. I don't have time.

I'd have to pick out invitations

floral arrangements, gowns�

Don't worry about a thing.

I'll take care of everything.

I will need an able assistant, though.

Okay, okay, twist my arm, why don't you.

- Dwayne? - Me?

Yeah, let's hit it.

I have a tutoring session.

Let him flunk.

We got a wedding.

Hey, Whitley�

No, don't come in! I'm not dressed.

Don't peek and take off those glasses.

I drew up the seating arrangement as outlined

in Cynthia Rutledge's Guide for Brides.

Who is this Rutledge babe, anyway?

Miss Cynthia Rutledge of Florence, Alabama,

is the world's foremost authority on wedding planning.

If she's an authority, why is she still a "miss"?

Ooh! Somebody needs to marry you.

No, not in this color.

Not for the first time.

Whitley, only Gumby could reach this zipper.

Would you like a hand?

Thank you, Dwayne.

Hey, what's this?

She pads her bra!

She pads her bra-ha-ha-ho!

Dwayne, you owe me a secret now.

A very� very big one.

Whitley, I don't have any secrets bigger than this.

Make one up.

Okay, I got a secret for you.

I like somebody and I don't think she knows it.

- Really? - Yeah.

Is she pretty?

It's not the first thing you notice.

Oh! I think you should tell this individual

exactly how you feel.

What if she doesn't feel the same way?

Then you'd be terribly humiliated

and I don't think you should tell this individual.

Whitley, you have the greatest shoulders I've ever seen.

- Dwayne� - I'll come back later.

- Good idea. - No, please, stay!

We were just discussing shoulders� seating

for the wedding arrangements.

I'll check on the folding tables.

Why don't you, Dwayne?

- I'll see you later. - Oh!

? Here comes the gown, Here comes the gown ?

Jaleesa, she just said�

? Here comes the gown ?

Just give me one minute

and I will be finished.

Thirty-two pages of "A."

Now, all I have to do this weekend is get married.

I'm getting married.

In that gorgeous dress.

I'm getting married.

Just think, Jaleesa, by this time tomorrow,

you're gonna be Jaleesa Oakes.

Jaleesa Oakes.

Sounds like a retirement village.

- Oh-ho! - No, just picture.

A winding country road, a little red house

swing on the porch,

station wagon in the driveway.

Mrs. Oakes, isn't it your turn to car pool?

You can tell those children to take a bus,

because we are living in the city.

High-tech condo, baby with the nanny.

Walking to work in my running shoes

briefcase in one hand, Italian pumps in the other.

When I get home it's, "Darling, what is for dinner?"

Are you sure this is what Walter wants?

I don't know.

I never asked him.

I'm sure it will all work out.

You've been married before.

You know what it takes to make a marriage go�

? �happy trails to you ?

? Till we meet again ?

Yeah, all right. Fellas, fellas!

Don't think it hasn't been wild and crazy

but I need to get to a party with some women.

Yeah, right.

You act like you expected dancing girls or something.

At least a movie.

Go see Bambi or something.

- Ooh! Man! - All right.

Now, what time does that stripper get here?

You two know how to throw a party. I'm a happy guy.

- Because you're not married yet. - Yeah.

Time to retire from the poker quartet.

Turn in your chips now.

And throw away your bowling shirt.

It's over.

The kid ain't changing.

- But she will. - Mmm-hmm.

They take off the veil and put on radar.

Oh, yeah.

Just because you guys married women that control you�

I'm not controlled by anybody.

- Mm-hmm. - My marriage is 50-50.

Half the time, Velma makes me nuts

the other half, she makes me crazy.

- But you're happy. - I'm still with her.

- That's right. - Ever since

the Mount Pleasant Sweethearts picnic.

I was behind the grill, cooking the gospel bird.

Big hickory cloud in front of me.

When the smoke cleared, there was Velma.

I said, "Wing or thigh?"

You know the rest.

You dog.

That's what it's all about.

I still don't know what it's all about.

After Vietnam, I thought marriage would be easy.

But after we split up,

I needed a rest.

I re-upped for another tour of duty.

I think I'll like being married, man.

Piling kids in the Winnebago.

Camping underneath the stars.

Having food fights in every national park in the country.

And where is Jaleesa gonna be?

Gassing up the camper. Yes.

You sure got a lot to learn.

It's "till death do you part."

You've got plenty of time to learn.

- Walter? - Yeah?

Walter, I've got to talk to you.

What's the matter?

I think we should call off the wedding.

What's the boy done now?

I don't know.

I hope this is a false alarm.

But just in case it isn't,

I better tell Velma to put the chili on simmer.

She's been defrosting ground chuck since Thursday.

Listen, kids, about this marriage thing�

you know, people, what you have to�

good luck.

Okay, give it to me.

What's the matter?

Everything.

On the way over here,

people I don't even know yelled at me,

"See you at the wedding."

Walter, this whole thing is turning into Showtime at the Apollo.

I mean, who are these people?

The Soul Train dancers.

They're doing a number at the reception.

Everything is going to be fine.

Walter, and my family can't be here.

I really feel like we should just wait.

We've been through this before.

If we had eloped, your family wouldn't be here.

So why don't you tell me what this is about.

You know what happened with my first husband.

You're not marrying some two-timing dog.

You're marrying me.

Well, face it, your taste has improved.

I don't know. I guess I just have cold feet.

Hey, it's normal. I've got 'em, too.

I've got on an extra pair of socks.

You have doubts, too?

The guys said you're gonna turn into some kind of warden with a beeper.

And I said that you won't. Will you?

Mmm.

We've got such a good relationship.

We trust each other.

We respect each other.

And we would never hurt each other.

That's my girl.

Walter�

what do you want from me?

I just want you to love me

and of course, cook, clean, iron, wash the car-

Basic woman stuff.

Okay, as long as you have the baby.

Babies.

Ba-by.

If we work this all out right now, we won't have anything to argue about

- for the next 25 years. - 50 years.

Come here.

Okay, one more right here, and�

Finito.

We've done such a good job,

I think even old girl Cynthia would be proud.

I wanna thank you, Dwayne.

I hope you're around for my wedding.

So what kind of a husband do you want, Whitley ?

What do you think?

Rich.

I thought you knew me better than that.

- I would like a man who is educated� - Mm-hmm.

- �um� enterprising� - Mm-hmm.

�and ambitious.

You wouldn't mind if he was poor?

That kind of man is never poor.

Could you settle for a man

who is going to be all these things?

Maybe an engineer, perhaps?

Look how crooked that centerpiece is.

- Whitley� - Wait, Dwayne!

Look at me!

Look at me. It's clear to me something's going on.

The way is clear.

Oh! Look, the cake.

It looks just like it does in the picture.

I'm Whitley Gilbert, director of the wedding.

I'm Velma, wife of the bald-headed man.

Mrs. Gaines, we've heard so much about you.

- Complaining again? - All the time.

Son, put down that staple gun and go unload the chili from my car.

Don't sneak a taste

because we got the beans counted.

It looks lovely in here.

Thank you.

It's all my vision� and Dwayne's elbow grease.

He's your sweetie, isn't he?

He's just a friend.

They start out as friends, then they end up as husbands.

He's not my type.

You think Vernon's my type?

Come on, Velma. Shake a leg.

Gonna take you more than three hours to put on that hat.

Mrs. Gaines, this chili smells delicious.

Thank you, dear.

I'd grab on to him.

Well, it looks like we're all done.

No, no, we're not.

What's left?

See you at the wedding.

On behalf of Walter and Jaleesa,

I'd like to welcome each of you to this sacred event.

I'll never forget the first time

I saw Walter and Jaleesa together.

It was at a faculty retreat.

We were all gathered around the pool.

Walter just climbed up the high dive and jumped in.

Jaleesa sat on the edge at the shallow end, testing the water.

I remember.

I watched you two

with your different approaches, arrive at the same place.

And that's what's going to make your marriage a successful one.

Two people with different approaches

who have arrived at the same place.

And with any luck, it will be forever.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

"to join Walter and Jaleesa in holy matrimony.

"Is there anyone here who, for any reason

"objects to the marriage of these two people?

"If so, speak now, or forever hold your peace."

Forever?

? And ever and ever Hallelujah, hallelujah! ?

Babies?

Babies, Walter and a Winnebago.

Babies, Walter and a Winnebago.

- I object! - I object!

- What? - What?

- What? - You don't want to marry me?

You don't want to marry me.

Jaleesa, I can't promise you forever.

Ugh, I can't promise you babies, and I am not gonna go live on a bus.

Ladies and gentlemen,

if you'll just bear with us, please.

What should we do?

Neither one of you want to be married?

No.

Then I suggest cancelling the wedding.

- Okay. - Want me to tell them?

No, we'll tell them, Rev.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're very sorry

but Walter and I have decided not to get married.

Jaleesa!

Hey! We appreciate y'all coming here today

but it's better to do it now, in front of a preacher

than later on in front of a judge.

Everybody, this is a good thing.

I'm happy.

I'm happy.

We really are making the right decision.

Yeah, so turn up the music.

Everybody, eat some chili, okay?

What about the reception?

What about the wedding dresses?

What about the wedding flowers?

Velma, the cake was all right

but you missed on the chili.

A little heavy-handed with the jalapenos.

You can sweet talk me all you want, but I'm driving.

You know you have night blindness.

We really wanna thank you two for everything.

Hey, before you go

there's still that Hawaiian honeymoon.

I'm not going with you.

We want you and Velma two to go.

Oh, Walter, we can't accept that.

Oh, yes, we can.

Velma, I promised I'd show you the world.

Aw. You sweet man.

Kiss me on my lips, hula girl.

I'm still driving.

All right.

- Good night. - Good night.

You know�

This really wasn't what I had in mind

when I pictured our wedding

but I think it worked out for the best.

At least we don't have to send thank-you notes.

We? You know you would have had me sign

every one of them.

I would have licked the stamps.

It's time to get out of these duds.

If I take them back tonight,

I might get some of my money back.

You know what, Walter, I hope you find a wife

to ride shotgun in that Winnebago.

She'll have a tough act to follow.

Thank you.

You know, what we had� it was good.

Yeah, it was all right.

All right.

- Goodbye. - All right.

Heads up!

What do you say we run down

and catch the midnight flick at the Dillard?

I'm not ready to make that kind of commitment, Dwayne.

It's only two hours.

It might be just a movie to you,

but to me, it's a date.

What's so wrong about that?

It will lead to other dates�

and long walks�

and dinner�

and after dinner�

Eventually breakfast.

Whitley, you know how I feel about you.

But I'm not ready for this. I'm not�

I don't know when I will be. I just�

I don't think it's fair

to have you sitting around waiting for me.

I hadn't planned to.

When you're ready, the popcorn's on me.

- I like it unbuttered. - No salt.

- You do know me well. - Mm-hmm.

What do you say we polish off that cake?

- So we'll. - Uh-huh.

I've been waiting for this all night.

- Excuse me. - Yes.

- They were lovely. - Goodbye.

- I'll take this piece. - I'll take this piece.

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