Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it We can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Than where you come from ?

Okay, people, excuse me. Excuse me.

Some of the biggest names in the music industry

have responded about performing at our benefit.

I knew they'd come around.

"Dear Hillman United Negro college fund benefit committee�

No!"

"No."

"I'd love to, but my parole hearing has been moved back."

Guys, we have been turned down by the best.

Maybe we can raise money selling the autographs on those letters.

Hey, any luck with the responses?

- No! - Great!

I got off the phone with one of my homeboys,

he says he'll do the show!

How much do you think we can get for these autographs?

Oh, okay, I'll just tell my partners, Heavy D & The Boyz

that we're not interested.

You know Heavy D?

Dwayne, Dwayne. Tell him that we will give him a deluxe hotel suite,

a limo for the entire weekend, and an honorary degree from Hillman.

Heavy doesn't want those things, he wants to help.

Good, 'cause I was lying.

I knew you were.

Hey, it's not official until we vote.

Heavy D did all the voting we needed when he said yes.

Meeting adjourned.

As usual I have saved the day.

It took some doing

but I convinced the Blue Ridge Valley Opera Company

to perform Highlights from Carmen.

Oh, guys, really, there's no need for a standing ovation.

Where are you all going?

Whitley, we have a concert to put on.

Yeah, I got Heavy D & The Boyz!

Well, I veto Heavy D & The Boyz.

That will teach you to be late.

Dwayne, never let it be said that I'm not one to compromise.

Perhaps your little friends can perform a tune or two

while my opera singers are gargling.

Whitley, here's a dollar.

Go buy a clue.

Elizabeth, I'm glad you're here. I'm sorry I'm late.

Colonel Taylor was in a mood today.

He gave us 100 extra push-ups

which really didn't bother me a bit, if you notice these guns.

Another week of this,

and I'll give Mike Tyson a run for his money.

I can see the press conference now.

"Yo, I thought I was the best in the world."

"But then this Aluminum Ron came in. Yo, he's the real champion."

Okay, Aluminum.

While I was waiting, I did a little work on our project.

I roughed out our marketing plan, look.

Good. Because last night, I came up with this manufacturing schedule.

Mmm.

What do you think?

I think I've got the perfect partner for this project.

Hmm. You know, I missed La Toya on TV last night to do this.

I caught her.

I can tell you what she said. It will take a second.

You don't like La Toya?

I just think you can do better, that's all.

Well, of all the Jackson Sisters, I think she's got the best nose.

Sergeant Johnson.

- Colonel Taylor, sir. - Mm-hmm.

I've never seen anyone do 100 push-ups so quickly ever before.

Thank you, sir.

Of course, now I see the reason why.

Carry on, carry on.

So, you want to grab a pizza later?

Every time I meet with you, we eat, boy.

How about a movie?

I know a theater that doesn't even sell popcorn.

- Sounds great. - Great!

But I've got a lot of things to do.

I'll see you in class.

All right.

Bye, Aluminum.

Bye.

The Heavy D tickets are being printed up as we speak.

Finally, we get some culture on this campus.

Yes and I've reserved two tickets in your name, front row center.

So, who's gonna be the lucky bimbo?

Actually, I was thinking about taking Elizabeth James.

She's not your type.

Your women have IQs that match their bra size.

I know.

What's with you, man?

I don't know.

When I'm with Elizabeth, I have to think

and I could get used to this.

This is a sad day for tacky women everywhere.

- Ron? - Hi.

Hi, this is a nice surprise.

Well, I was in the library I found this book, I�

Are you baby-sitting?

Um, you could say that.

This is my son, Isaac.

Your son.

Your son?

Your son?

Your own personal son?

It's okay, Ron. Just relax.

Sure!

So, how did this happen?

I know how it happened, but when?

My sophomore year.

Oh.

What about his father?

Are you married?

No, I'm not married.

He's in grad school in Chicago.

I think the idea of a family was a bit much for him.

Do you want something from the kitchen? I was about to get Isaac some ice.

Does he take his bottles on the rocks?

- He's teething. - Oh.

- Are you sure you don't want a soda? - No, no, I'm fine.

Okay. I'm gonna be back in a minute.

- Could you watch him for me? - Whoo!

Hello, baby.

- Da-da. - Da-da?

No. No, no Da-da here.

Ron-Ron.

I'm just in class with your mother.

We don't even share notes.

We don't even sit together.

You look very comfortable with a baby on your lap.

Well, I used to do a ventriloquist act.

So, is this book for our project?

Book?

Yeah, the book.

Friendly Takeovers And Hostile Mergers.

I can't wait to see the movie.

So, what is he, two, three, five?

He's 13 months.

Guess he's a little young to help out with the rent.

Are you sure you don't want something cold to drink?

No, no. No�

Actually, I think I'd better get� better get going.

Um, I'll see you in class.

- Ron? - Yeah?

The book.

Oh. Phew!

The book, yeah, um�

I'm sure you'll take good care of it.

You take care of him.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Jaleesa, I haven't seen you in two days.

Walter, I cannot talk now.

I have to arrange to get Heavy D from the airport

and the only car available is a Pinto.

I hope you got our tickets.

Oh, gosh, our tickets!

That's the other thing I forgot. I'll do it.

Make sure you get my seat where I like 'em.

Next to the aisle, so I can dance.

Mr. Johnson.

Colonel.

What's the matter? You're not your usual hyperactive self.

I think Mr. Gaines's chili gave me a little heartburn.

- I'll be all right. - Okay, thanks for the warning.

Colonel, how old were you when you had your first child?

Why do you ask?

See, there's this girl� actually, a 22-year-old woman.

I like her a lot.

At least I thought I did till I found out about the baby.

Well, is it�

Oh, no, no, no.

That's good to know.

I don't know what to do.

Part of me says,

- "Help her out, take care of her." - Mm-hmm.

The other part of me says, "My name is Brown and I'm leaving town."

Are you sure it's not yours?

Absolutely certain, sir.

That's the only thing I'm certain of.

If I don't call her anymore,

she's gonna think it's because of the� the kid.

And why wouldn't you call her?

Because of the kid!

You should see him, sir.

He's got the cutest little Popeye legs.

He's even cute when he drools!

But what kind of life will he have without a man around?

Now, Mr. Johnson,

getting involved with a woman who has a child

is a responsibility that a lot of men would shy away from.

Kids have a way of becoming very attached.

Go slow. Mm.

- I hear you, Colonel. - Okay.

- You sure it's not- - Colonel!

Just checking.

Whitley, I'm not gonna sign a petition to ban Heavy D!

- Why not? - Because I like Heavy D!

You would like that vulgarian squawking.

I'm used to it. I live with you.

Strike a blow for musical sanity!

Ban rap!

Don't be the last to sign!

I'll sign, because I can't stand all that noise.

Someone with sense.

Ever since I went to Aunt Bertha's�

- She's really Velma's cousin. - Right.

Uh-huh, but everybody call her Aunt Bertha.

One night, we watching this nice show about dolphins

or, mammals or fish.

They was just about to reveal the truth,

when little Karen took the remote.

Next thing you know, we watching "Yo, MTV raps."

Waste of the airwaves.

Wild children wearing gold chains and gold teeth

and flapping around like guppies on dry land!

? How's the petition?

? Have you saved us all from rap? ?

? Are we to listen to operatic crap?

Kiss my aria.

Now, you've gone too far.

Last year, you rented a dog to meet women.

And now, a baby.

This is really low.

- I'm baby-sitting for a friend. - Who?

You don't know her. She's a business major.

In college with a baby?

Wow!

You know, having a child really matures a person.

I bet that would really center me.

Freddie, you can barely take care of yourself.

Hey, I thought Emmanuel Lewis went to Clark College.

This is Elizabeth's son.

Elizabeth is a mother?

As in "Eat your veggies, clean your room, and go get me the belt" mama?

She's not your mother.

- Ron, why didn't you tell me this? - I told you I was seeing Elizabeth.

You said you're seeing a girl with her own crib.

Not that she had a baby in it.

That's why I didn't tell you. You can't deal with responsibility.

Then I guess you're not going to the welcome party at Heavy's hotel.

A welcoming party for Heavy D?

No, I am there.

This party is not being catered by Gerber's.

- Freddie, you wanna go meet Heav? - Ooh! Bye, cutie.

Bye, papa Ron!

Later.

Well, I guess it's just me and you, kid.

Don't worry. You'll grow into it.

Come here, Isaac!

This what I want you to do. Let's try this.

I want you to run to the end of the carpet,

cut across the middle,

and I'mma hit you with the bullet. Alright? You ready?

Wait a minute.

Yeah, now you look like a tough guy.

Ready, go.

Go. Yeah.

Okay, we'll try the short pattern. Ready? Catch!

Oh!

You're future's definitely in announcing, son.

Here, here, come look at this.

Come look at this.

Look at the nice horsey potty.

Horsey potty!

Now, if you're gonna hang out with Uncle Ron

you'll have to learn how to use one of these.

Yeah, come on.

Uncle Ron?

Looks like you two are having a good time.

Is anything broken?

No. Isaac's been great.

I was talking about you.

I'm just teaching the little guy things a guy should teach a guy.

You know, if you get him any more toys,

there's not gonna be room for him in the playpen.

Come on, sweetie, it's time for your nap.

But, you know, I still should buy him that toy car phone.

Ron, he doesn't even have a car!

Yes, he does. It's parked in the kitchen.

What about if we just hold off until Christmas?

Well, I hope he can wait that long.

Elizabeth?

Yeah?

I know this is short notice,

but how would you like to go see Heavy D on Saturday night?

- Heavy D? - Yeah.

- I'd love to. - Great!

But I don't know if I can find a baby-sitter.

Why don't we bring him with us?

Take a baby to a concert?

What if I find a responsible baby-sitter?

Then will you go?

Yes, I'll go.

You will?

Oh, great!

Then I'm off to find you a responsible baby-sitter.

And then you can think about me and you and Heavy D.

And we're off to the concert.

- I see you later. - Bye.

Later on, Isaac.

I like that little guy, you know?

Huh!

Huh!

Huh!

Hey, Jaleesa, Ernest, I'd like you to meet my partners,

Heavy D & The Boyz.

What's up, man?

Hello, pleased to meet you.

We really appreciate you guys agreeing to do the show for us.

You were our first choice.

Yeah, okay.

Hey, let me show you the stage.

It's a little known fact.

Big Stuff and I began our musical careers together.

We were in the junior high school marching band.

Yeah, but super worm here was so skinny,

during halftime he would march right out of his drawers.

Yeah, but at least my mama didn't have to sew two potato sacks together

to make my drawers.

Jaleesa!

The box office is in a tizzy.

Something about counterfeit tickets?

Gosh, I better get on this. Um, excuse me.

Dwayne, would you finish the sound check for me, please?

Yes ma'am. Better go. Watch it, big boy!

Can you imagine printing up fake tickets for this thing?

No.

Now, wouldn't you have paid the same amount of money

if not a tad bit more,

to hear selections from Bizet's Timeless Opera, Carmen?

Opera's cool, and Carmen is one of my favorites.

- Mine, too. - Really?

Certainly is easier on the ear than that rhyming racket.

I wouldn't say that. You know, opera and rap do have some similarities.

What, besides the fact that neither is sung in English?

Well, first of all, they're both forms of storytelling.

Did you know the critics of The Time dissed Carmen

just about as hard as you're dissing rap?

- I refuse to believe that. - Ah, it's true, look it up.

They said Carmen was crude and lacked melody.

How could they say that about Beware of Love,

or Ramparts of Seville?

I tell you what lacks melody.

It's that diddly, diddly,

diddly, diddly, diddly� That's what I'm talking about.

- Have you met- - Not right now, Dwayne.

Talking to a fellow opera lover.

What was your name?

- D. - D?

Mm-hmm. But my friends call me Heavy.

Children can be so cruel.

Well, Heavy�

Heavy "diddly" D?

Bon diddly, diddly, diddly D.

Pleasure.

- Hi. - Hi.

I didn't mean to be this early.

- Ron� - These are for you.

They're lovely. Thank you!

And the teddy bear's for Isaac.

I didn't mean to buy it.

It just reached into my pocket and said, "Buy me, buy me!"

So, where's the little guy?

Um, he's asleep, finally. He's been cranky all day.

Boy's upset over his car phone.

Ron�

I can't go to the concert.

Isaac's running a fever.

Well, according to all the baby books I've read,

that's normal when they're teething.

Give him an ice cube.

I just wanna be with him in case it's something more.

But this is Heavy D!

And the sitter's on her way.

Ron, I'm so sorry, but I can't go.

Then neither will I.

We'll just spend a quiet evening at home.

You, me, Isaac and all his little teeth.

Ron, I think you should go and have a great time.

What about you? You need a life.

If there's one thing I have, it's a life.

But I also have priorities.

And going to a concert, even with a very, very sweet guy

just isn't one of them right now.

But I can't leave you at home alone with the baby.

The baby is my son!

Ron, I think you're trying to create an instant family here.

Add Ron and stir. We're not pudding.

I just don't wanna be one of those guys who runs away from responsibility.

Isaac isn't your responsibility.

Don't you think he needs-

What Isaac needs is a parent who loves and cares for him.

And he has that in me.

That he does.

- I'm gonna miss the little fellow. - Are you leaving the country?

No, I just figured you meant when�

Oh.

People like you are hard to come by.

I need a friend like you in my life.

Well, when Isaac's teeth grow in,

can we go to the park?

Oh, no, you still owe me a movie.

- You're on. - Come here.

Turn me down for more concerts.

- Now do me a favor. - Yeah.

- Go. - Yeah. I better get to the concert.

I got a ticket to scalp.

For charity.

Yeah, right.

Thank you, thank you.

And the UNCF thanks you for your support.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce

a very favorite group of all time.

You're gonna love these fellows.

They're veritable poets of the-

Heavy D And The Boyz!

Go, Heavy! Go, Heavy!

? I want somebody to love me for me ?

? Happy is the way that I want to be ?

? I searched low, and I searched high ?

? Tryin' to find myself a cutie pie ?

? My destination leads me to a dead end ?

? Over and over and over again ?

? They told me to wait so I waited ?

? Anticipated, debated and delayed it ?

? But still came up With the same old thing ?

? Nothin' ?

? It seems as if every time I find the right girl ?

? She turns out to be The very wrong girl ?

? Tell me, y'all When will this madness stop, stop? ?

? I want somebody to love me for me ?

? Not because I'm MC Heavy D ?

? I'm lookin' for a love That's solid as a rock, rock ?

? I want somebody to love me for me ?

? Happy is the way that I want to be ?

? I want somebody to love me for me ?

? Happy is the way that I want to be ?

? Now maybe I'll take a trip Around the world ?

? And find myself A beautiful, gorgeous girl ?

? They say when you look, One never finds ?

? They also say that love is blind ?

? I ain't that blind that I can't see ?

? Somebody out there Who's perfect for me ?

? Somebody who's gonna love me for me ?

? I know you want a love ?

? Love, that's what I'm talkin' about ?

? A relationship, a commitment ?

? Something to live for ?

? Maybe if you take your time ?

? Time has been taken And time has been spent ?

? Now it's time For the lover to score, score ?

Go, Heavy! Go, Heavy!

Go, Heavy! Go, Heavy!

Go, Heavy! Go, Heavy!

? So that's the story of my life ?

? No cutie pie, no future wife ?

? Just relationships That bounce back like rubber ?

? Yo, word to your mother! ?

? I guess I'll call it a day for now ?

? 'Cause it seems that I can't win ?

? So I'll carry on being An overweight lover ?

? Word to your mother! ?

? I want somebody to love me for me ?

? Happy is the way that I want to be� ?

Go, Heavy, go, Heavy!

Go, Heavy! Go, Heavy!

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