Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it We can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Than where you come from ?

Anything else?

I think we have a problem with Sharon Thomas.

She flunked a poli-sci exam. Now the girl wants to quit school.

I know. I drove her to the bus station a few hours ago.

- You didn't! - Yes, I did.

Then I drove her right back.

There's some nasty-looking people at the bus station at 6:00 a.m.

I told her the best way not to end like them

is to stay in school.

Then we had some hot cakes and came on back.

That's one thing that's not nasty at the bus station. Hot cakes.

You are very good at your job.

I know that. Now, is there any more dorm business on the agenda?

That's it for me.

Then, Miss Vinson, this meeting is adjourned

and good-bye, dorm director,

- hello, love of your life. - Ooh!

There is just one other thing.

But it has nothing to do with the dorm.

Do you know that today is a very special day.

I know that.

Oh you did?

I certainly do. I'd never forget an important date.

I am a human calendar.

Really? Then what do you have planned for today?

Something special.

What are you gonna wear?

Something nice.

Very nice. I might even buy a suit.

- Oooh! - I might even rent a tux.

Then you might be just a little bit overdressed

when you go to renew your driver's license.

Yeah, but I'll look good in the photo.

Walter.

We had our first date one year ago today.

This is our anniversary.

- I knew that. - Don't.

- Happy anniversary. - Thank you.

Not again.

Three blackouts in one week.

What have these women got plugged in up there?

Why do you assume it's the women?

'Cause y'all can't leave the house

without using hair curlers, hair clippers, hair dryers,

hair weave, hair remover.

All we need is a comb.

Yeah, and it shows.

I think professors give this to us on purpose

they give us more work than we can possibly do

just to keep us working on the weekend.

We should have started this paper three weeks ago

when it was assigned.

And ruin three weekends? Get outta here.

That's right.

I got it.

How about this as an opening sentence?

"When the first kernel of corn was sown,

so were the seeds of a great civilization."

Can I ask you a question? Other people are writing on Mayan temples,

human sacrifices, sexual taboos. Why are we writing about a vegetable?

Corn was very crucial to the Mayans.

- And sex wasn't? - They died out, didn't they?

I hate corn.

Do you hate corn on the cob?

It's the enemy of all teeth. It gets stuck in your gums.

Then you have spend the rest of your meal to dig it out.

Okay. I have a new anthropological theory.

The Mayans died out because they were too busy

picking corn out of their teeth to procreate.

Wait, wait, wait. We're onto something here, Freddie.

Rome did not fall because of internal corruption.

It was because they had too much corn in their Roman meal bread.

We're going to get an F so big, the whole Roman army couldn't carry it.

A full basket of illegal appliances from the women's floor.

It was like trick-or-treating at Sears.

Walter, I need my hair dryer.

Whitley, is that you?

No.

Walter, I cannot go to my breakfast date looking like a wet spaniel.

Sorry. It is over 500 watts.

Have a good breakfast, Lassie.

Room check.

Okay, the next blackout, I'll pay for the fuses.

Lassie, go home!

Hey, Quinc, how's it going?

It's all right. I can't complain.

I hope I can say that after this room check.

I see a cord.

Can a crockpot be far behind?

Alabama, I hope that's a talking crockpot.

Sir, I'm not from Alabama.

I'm from Jasper, Texas.

Now that we've got that cleared up,

who is under your bed?

Come on out, Janetta. I think they know.

Uh, Janetta, this here's everybody.

Everybody, this here's Janetta.

Quincy, what were you thinking?

You can get suspended for this.

It's my fault.

I know I was supposed to be out by 7:00, but we slept through the alarm.

Who said you're supposed to be out by 7:00?

Walter.

You knew about this?

My question exactly.

See, Janetta's in the Navy.

And she's shipping out for six months.

Let me get this straight.

I'm not allowed to have a hair dryer,

but he's allowed to spend the night with Barnacle Betty.

Whitley, your hair's dry, go on to breakfast.

Whitley has a point.

I didn't know the girl was here till 5:30 this morning.

That's when I found her looking for the ladies room.

Walter, the dorm rules are very specific

about overnight guests of the opposite sex.

She said she was shipping out.

I said make sure you ship out of my dorm by 7:00 a.m.

Don't you realize if this gets around,

everybody will want to have overnight guests.

Then everybody will be disappointed.

Can we leave so she can catch her submarine?

You still have to appear before dorm council.

- I'm handling this. - We can't condone this behavior.

- You're making too big a deal out of this. - I don't agree.

Do you agree that I'm the dorm director, not you?

I guess I can't argue with that.

Good, then maybe we can celebrate our anniversary

on our anniversary and continue with the room check.

Whatever you say.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Quincy, y'all are really�

Ladies and gentlemen, we are witnessing baseball history.

A pitching duel of monumental proportion.

Batter, batter, batter! Hey, batter!

The windup, the pitch� It's going� it's going�

Kiss that baby good-bye.

Kiss this baby good-bye.

Come here, you sexy dude, you.

Baby.

Please, baby, please.

Mr. Wayne. Ms. Brooks. What are you two up to?

Writing a research paper for anthropology, sir.

I see. And who's winning?

I am.

We've been working on this paper all day. We needed a break.

Yes, I am totally burnt.

- I woke up burnt-out. - Uh-uh-huh.

I don't think people realize how tough you students have it.

- No way they do. - Oh, no, no.

Heck, you work straight through Thanksgiving.

You only get three weeks off for Christmas.

Of course, there's Presidents' Day,

Dr. Martin Luther King's birthday, then the Easter break.

The whole thing is finished May 22.

The 22nd? I thought it was the 21st.

No, the 22nd. So you've got an average of four hours of class per day.

About that.

Let me borrow your bat here.

So, what we have here is days times four divided by 24.

Carry the two. Oh, boy, that means out of 365 days,

you actually spend 35 days in school.

- Thirty-five and two-thirds, sir. - Excuse me, you're correct.

So that means I've got

to spend 35 and two-third days teaching you.

Boy, oh, boy.

Just thinking about it makes me feel totally burned out.

I think I better carry these tired, old burned-out bones back home,

spend the rest of the weekend in bed.

Probably won't make it to class,

but if you should get to class, tell everybody I said, "Hey."

Hello?

Sorry. It's this music. It's getting on my nerves.

Jaleesa, this is our song. Do you remember our first dance?

You and me and "Me and Mrs. Jones."

The four of us should have been on Soul Train.

Uh-oh, something must be wrong. What is it?

You really don't know?

I really, truly don't.

The way you handled this Quincy thing-

I can't believe you're thinking about this morning.

I just know you would not have let a girl get away with a guy in her room.

Quincy Tolleson is a responsible guy.

He gets good grades and he has even better manners.

- He always calls you "ma'am." - Yeah, and I hate it.

Makes me feel old.

Buona sera. I am your waiter, Leone.

And this is your San Rosa acqua minerale�

And what does all of that mean?

Mineral water, 1989.

Good year, too.

Walter, did you have to say,

"I am the dorm director and you are not," in front of everybody?

Jaleesa, what happened this morning was dorm business.

Know what your problem is?

You get Walter Oakes, dorm director

confused with Walter Oakes, anniversary man.

Okay, so you always manage

to separate our personal and our business lives.

- Always. - Uh-huh.

So why is it that at our last meeting with the administration

you had your hand on my thigh under the table?

How do you know it was my hand?

It could have been Dr. Combs. He's pretty slick for an 80-year-old man.

Okay, so maybe I'm overreacting.

You are overreacting, but I forgive you.

Oh, you forgive me?

Oh, no, it starts all over again.

Why can't you let go of things?

Why can't you learn to deal with feelings?

I can deal with feelings.

Then why don't you ever want to rent Sounder?

It's a movie about a dog.

It is a movie about people and the relationship to the dog.

Then why wasn't it called People and Sounder?

See, that's why I can't talk to you. You never take anything seriously.

I took you to see Benji, didn't I?

You dropped me off and went bowling.

This is why they made a man head of the dorm instead of a woman.

'Cause you all get emotional, get worked up, start crying about nothing.

It has to do with that little PMCSTP-

You know what that thing is.

You know what it is, but you are afraid to say it.

Because we're in a restaurant.

And this is our anniversary and you are ruining it.

I am ruining it?

Lobster al diavolo for the happy couple.

And now, in honor of your anniversary,

I've prepared a little surprise.

? Me and Signora Jones ?

? We got a thing that's going on ?

? We both know that it's wrong ?

? But it's much too strong ?

? To let it go now ?

? Me� ?

? And Signora, Signora Jones ?

?Signora Jones, Signora Jones, Signora� ?

And so she says, "You are afraid of your emotions."

- Mm-hmm. - "You have no feelings."

Then she walked out.

If I didn't have any feelings, then why did I spend $88.96

on some lobster, designer water and a singing waiter?

You spent too much on the lobster.

It tastes like rubber.

But that spaghetti's not bad.

Nothing I said was right. It was like walking through a minefield.

Every word that came out of my mouth was like�

- I said, "I forgive you." - "What do you mean, 'you forgive?'"

"Maybe you should, maybe you would�"

I should get combat pay for going out with this woman.

The vegetables are nice, except for the broccoli.

I never did like broccoli.

It smells.

Mr. Gaines, are you listening to me?

Every word.

You know what your problem is, son?

You fight back.

Pass me the salt.

Oh, I'm just supposed to sit there and go,

"You're right, dear."

"I'm wrong, dear."

"I'm stupid, dear"?

If you want to be a happy man, you do.

Now, Velma and I have been happily married for 39 years.

You know why?

Because she always has the first word

and I always let her have the last,

and she has most of the words in between, too.

I have been out with a lot of women.

None of them argued with me.

So why would I rather be out arguing with Jaleesa,

- than have a good time with someone else. - That's a bad sign.

I just want to do my job, be with my woman and not have one mess up the other.

- Is that too much to ask? - Yes.

If she can't separate business from personal life,

I'll have to do it for her.

I'll fire her.

Fire? You do that and she'll be about as tender as this lobster.

Did you get any rolls?

What time we start tomorrow?

8:00 a.m.

Nah, better make it noon.

We work better under pressure.

- Bye. - See ya.

Q! Hey, Q!

- The man of the hour. - What are you talking about?

? Oh, anchors aweigh, My boy ?

? Anchors aweigh ?

Lord have mercy. Who told you?

Who didn't? Just tell me one thing. Was it true?

Is she the centerfold in that spread Women Of The Armed Forces?

I heard all she had on was a life preserver and a smile.

Not my Janetta.

Janetta? That's a frisky name!

My Janetta is a real lady.

I'm sure she is. Has she got any sisters?

You're talking about the woman I love.

I was going to marry her.

You might as well, you already had the honeymoon.

She may not want to marry me now, after Walter throws me out of school.

What're you thinking? Walter's one of us. He's cool.

But Jaleesa isn't. She wants me to go before the dorm council.

Forget Jaleesa. Trust me. Walter is the man.

The worst thing he'll have you do is wash his car.

Then all you gotta do is bring the good Turtle Wax.

Good evening, Walter.

- How was dinner? - Stupid, stupid!

I heard that girl has been up there for a week.

I heard a month.

Whatever. But when they dragged her out from under the bed,

she was naked.

Walter Oakes should not be allowed to run this dorm.

Amen to that.

He busted me for having a guy in my room two minutes after curfew.

- What? - All we were doing was studying.

Might have helped if you had some books.

I still don't believe it. Quincy Tolleson?

Don't let those country types fool you. They grow up fast on the farm.

Yeah, but Quincy "uh-huh" Tolleson?

The point is, we are victims of a double standard here.

We get busted and the guys get certificates of achievement.

- She's right. - Imagine what Walter would do

if he caught a sailor in one of our beds?

He wouldn't say, "As you were."

I'm behind you girls 100%.

But there's a greater issue at stake here.

She's right.

Walter Oakes is depriving us of our constitutional right to own property.

What?

He took her hair dryer again.

We were picked for this dorm because we are mature, intelligent women.

- Hear, hear! - The intelligent thing to do

is to stop this injustice here and now.

I say we have a silent protest against Walter.

Until we get what we want, we won't talk to him.

We won't talk to any man.

Hold it. I have a date with Calvin tomorrow night.

Forget the silent treatment.

We won't pay dorm fees.

And if that doesn't work, we storm his apartment.

And reclaim our appliances!

Meeting adjourned.

Magic, get up! You ain't hurt.

They paying that boy too much for him to get hurt.

Fool.

It's open. Get up, boy!

Can I talk to you?

The dorm director is out.

He's closed for business and won't be back until 8:00 a.m.

This has been a recording. Beep!

I don't want to talk to the dorm director.

I'd like to talk to the anniversary man.

About what?

I want to apologize.

He's listening.

By the time I got two blocks from the restaurant

I felt really bad that I walked out on you.

'Cause you realized you had to walk home.

- No, that is not why. - Then why didn't you walk on back?

I don't know. I guess I would have felt a little silly.

You know how silly I felt sitting by myself being serenaded?

I had to sit through eight verses of

? Me and Signora Jones Jones, Jones, Jones ?

You know there are not that many verses.

I know. My man improvised.

Him and Mrs. Jones did their thing all over Italy.

Walter, I'm really sorry.

Not as you're gonna be. I hired him for your birthday.

No, you didn't.

You'll find out on November 15.

December 15.

- I knew that. - Mm-hmm.

About this morning�

I don't agree with the way you handled Quincy,

but I should not have said so in front of everybody.

I never would have done that to Lettie.

But I was really convinced-

I hate to interrupt your apology,

but there are seven minutes left of our anniversary.

So what do you say?

? Doo doo doo ?

? We got a thing going on ?

Nobody's home!

You better get upstairs quick!

Look. You remember what verse we were on

'cause when we get back I'm taking you all the way to Scandinavia.

- Switzerland. - Fly me, baby.

- Peoria, Illinois. - I'm with you.

Jackson, Mississippi.

Winifred.

Ladies, ladies, please. I didn't get too much sleep last night.

Brother, tell us something we don't already know.

Walter won't like this one little bit.

Walter won't mind. Haven't you heard?

? We're in the Navy now ?

- Aye, aye. - Oh, Lord.

Ooh, that's some poop deck.

Walter, I didn't invite them up here. I swear to beans I didn't.

Somebody tell me what's going on?

This is where the action is, so we decided to move up here.

All we want are the same privileges you gave Quincy.

Mm-hmm.

You have my permission to spend the night with a man.

This man.

Sleep tight.

Okay, Quincy, move that bed over.

Walter, tell her you're joking, please.

He might be joking, but we're not.

We're not going until that double standard goes first!

And I get my hair dryer back.

What do you think?

Now you have no opinion?

Now is not the time to butt out.

Do you really want to know what I think? I really, truly do.

Excuse me.

If it seems I've been tougher on the women than the men,

- that's because it's true, I have. - Mmm-hmm.

What are you going to do about it?

Walter, what are you going to do about it?

Wait, wait, come on. Give the man a chance.

I'll ask Jaleesa to form a double standard watchdog committee

and if a charge is brought against me and found valid,

- then justice will be done. - Mmm-hmm.

Now I ask you all to leave 'cause Quincy needs a good night's sleep.

I sure do.

'Cause tomorrow, homeboy's going

before the dorm council at 9:30 a.m.

That's what I'm talking about.

- I suggest you wear a tie, brother. - Yes, sir.

In your case, wear two ties.

Good work. Justice is done.

Jaleesa, tell me the truth.

Am I really a chauvinist?

Yes, dear, you are.

However, you have such a cute butt.

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