Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it We can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? Yeah, than where you come from ?

? Than where you come from ?

Oof, Walter, that felt so good.

Yeah, but I'm getting hot all over again.

I'll be back when I'm done at the library

because I know I'm gonna be hot all over again by then.

You know where to find me.

- See you later. All right, bye.

- Ooh! "I'm getting hot all over again"?

Another thrilling evening with Mr. Softy, ladies?

I'd rather spend my time with ice cream and books than Lance Granger.

Mr. Maytag.

Mr. Maytag?

That's what they call him over at Libby Hall.

Yeah, because kissing him is like going through the rinse cycle.

Whitley.

- Hi. Bye. - Hold it.

Walter, I'm gonna be eons late for my date.

The math department called me again.

You still haven't fulfilled your requirement.

I wish they'd stop harassing me.

Well, they have. Now it's my turn.

Just sign up for the contemporary math class.

No. I have endured three years of academic torture in this school.

Haven't I learned enough?

You're right. I don't know why I'm bothering you.

I should go on the phone with the Pope right now.

Yo, Pope, what's up?

If you're looking for a saint, forget Mother Teresa.

I know a woman who has truly suffered.

Whitley of Hillman. Mm-hmm.

Got to wear shabby rags from Saks Fifth Avenue,

and for the last three years been driving the same Mercedes.

Whitley, His Holiness is crying.

I am not spending entire my senior year

in a classroom full of pimply-faced freshmen.

You don't have to sit with them. You can stand on your head.

You can assume the lotus position. Just take the class,

or on graduation night, you'll be working behind the concession stand.

And just so you know it, I like extra relish on my hot dog.

What are you doing?

I'm keeping my silk dry.

Do me a favor. Show me how you use this stuff.

Brother, either I did not hear you correctly

or you need a class in remedial hygiene, pronto.

I'm trying to prove a point. Tear off some paper.

I wonder about you sometimes.

Maybe that last roach bomb,

it probably killed off some of your brain cells.

You're the reason we go through three of these a week.

You use too much.

This is a normal amount.

They wrapped King Tut in less than that.

That's the way we do it in my family.

Then mummify your hand when you go home at Christmas.

Come on, we'll be late for the concert.

I thought we were taking them to a movie.

We were, but with my juice and $76, we are now taking them

to see Branford Marsalis at the Palace.

No applause. Just $38 for your tickets.

Ron, I don't have the money.

Come on, Mr. Big Summer Corporate Intern,

start spreading some of that Kineshewa cash.

I have expenses I didn't have last year.

I have to pay for utilities, bus fare. I got to buy you toilet paper.

Besides, I have to help my cousin Rosie buy her wedding dress.

So what's 30 bucks?

That's three yards of fabric, and Rosie needs all she can get.

Is it my fault that your cousin is a heifer?

That's not the point,

and don't you ever call anybody in my family a heifer again.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I got 20 bucks.

My last 20. I'll give you the rest next week.

Save it, you'll need it for the cappuccino afterwards.

Twenty bucks? Where are we going for cappuccino? Rome?

No, leave them on, otherwise we'll come back

to the great roach stampede.

We killed off all the roaches.

No, the mutants survived.

You know how ladies feel about roaches.

"Roaches!"

Lord, would you stop crowding my counter?

And simmer down.

You're not at a racetrack.

Mr. Gaines, you're skimping on the tater tots.

And you're charging twice as much as last year.

You want it your way? Go to Burger King.

No, you stay here.

I'll go to Burger King 'cause they got air conditioning

and those nice, little apple pies.

I sure could use one right now.

- I hate this place. - What's eating you?

I spent my entire morning in the financial aid office,

which should be renamed to "We don't care, that's your problem."

- Guess they didn't have your check? - Nope.

When I asked what the hold-up was�

- Mmm? - �the lady said,

"Your name begins with 'W' and we have a backlog."

I said, "What am I supposed to do?"

She said, "Get another name and leave me alone. Next."

I have news that will cheer you up and cool you down.

Air conditioners on sale at Radio Rob's.

It'll be hot for another two weeks. It's a waste of money.

If we had air conditioning, maybe the ladies would've stuck to us

instead of the furniture.

You want to eat it here or my place?

Let's take it back to your place because I am really hot.

Even dogs take a breather in this heat.

You can run but you can't hide from the math department.

Colonel Taylor. How nice to see you.

Got to go. Got a dance class.

You must be good at it, you've waltzed around your math requirement

for the last three years.

Now it's time to face the music in my class.

In your class?

The easy classes fill up real quick.

You got to face Dr. War.

But I'm an art history major.

Besides, we've let it slide this long.

Can't we just let it slide away?

No, we can't.

My class. 3:00 p.m., Monday.

So, the probability of event E equals K over M.

All right. Now, let's see if we can't find the probability

of getting an "A" in my course.

There are 15 of you.

So, let's say that I'm giving out, um�

five A's and ten B's.

I was expressing my joy.

Calm down, Mbubunni. The man never gives A's.

Oh, well, I am still very, very happy

to be in your class, Dr. Taylor.

And we're very happy to have you here.

Ms. Gilbert, awake and think.

- I'm feeling rather poorly. - Then what better way

to get that adrenaline pumping than a bout before the firing squad.

Come on, up to the board with you.

Yesterday I sprained my right hand.

Well, use your left. Come on.

Could you restate that problem?

Five A's, ten B's,

probability of getting an A.

Thank you.

- Five over ten. - Wrong.

Bang, bang, I'm dead.

First math casualty of the semester.

Oh!

Next class, I want the answer to this.

Five over 15.

Therefore, one out of three get an A, sir.

Well, thank you.

Just do the work in your syllabus. All right?

And do it at home, Mr. Mbubunni.

All right, class dismissed.

Ms. Gilbert.

I'd like less flippancy, more effort,

and you might need a tutor.

No, I might not.

I've never had a tutor in my life.

You might find one helpful.

I don't need help.

I need to be released from this decimal dungeon.

Ms. Gilbert, like it or not, math is everywhere.

Let's say you're doing your income taxes.

My accountant does it.

You want to double-check his figures.

My husband checks it.

Chauncey is out of town.

I would never marry a man named Chauncey.

Okay, it's April 15th and Michael� All right.

Michael is away in Nigeria.

My lawyer will review the forms.

You can't afford to pay him.

You've been fleeced by your accountant

because you didn't understand his figures.

Colonel Taylor, I appreciate what you're trying to do,

but the only math problem I ever have to solve in life

is how many batteries will it take to put in my little pocket calculator.

Whitley, you're not the first student to be intimidated by math.

I'm not intimidated.

I just don't like wasting my time.

Okay, then let me give you one more math problem.

If student "W" does not pass this course�

What is the probability that student "W" will not graduate?

You take your time to figure that one out.

Ernie, you think you can pay me for the tutoring?

I'd like to, but my financial aid check

has been held up.

Tell me about it.

- Oh, hi. - Hey.

You should make lots of money off her. She doesn't know a thing.

I am not here to be tutored, Ernie.

- Hi, Dwayne. - Hey, Whitley.

Um, I brought you a little something to beat the heat.

- Sherbet! - Sorbet.

Oh, whatever it is, it's cool.

The truth is I could use a little consultation in the area of mathematics

for which I'm willing to pay $25 a session.

$25? Whitley, nobody's that dumb.

You grossly underestimate the value of your time.

Yeah, but $25, that's steep.

I couldn't live with myself if I charged you anything over, say, $22.50.

- Deal. - Okay, let's hit it.

Okay. It's the last five exercises in Chapter two.

- "Probabilities." It's a breeze. - Okay.

Yeah.

Where you going?

You don't need me.

Just drop it off in my mailbox when you finish.

Whitley, I'm a tutor.

This is not "Homework Hut, we deliver."

Sure.

Be a goody-two-shoes.

This is simple, basic math. You can handle this.

I have some simple, basic math for you.

- $50 an hour. - No.

Just think what you can do to this apartment with $75 an hour.

No.

Okay, Mr. Extortionist.

Take advantage of a woman

who's tied to the rail-road tracks of academic distress.

$100.

An hour?

No� no! I'm not going to do your homework for you.

I'll be happy to tutor you.

I do not need a tutor!

Why can't I get that through everybody's thick skull?

And give me my sherbet back.

Would you sit over here? You're blocking the breeze.

There is no breeze.

Besides, it's too hot to move.

Not for some people.

Walter and Jaleesa have been in there since lunch.

Since breakfast.

That's disgusting.

Oh, yeah. How does that feel?

Like heaven, baby.

Tonight we declare war on heat.

I got rocky road ice cream and our new, deluxe compact fan.

Woow!

It's a little rusty, but� How did it get so cool in here?

Because the war on heat has been won.

You can take that deluxe fan back to the trash bin you found it under.

Ron, tell me they were giving these away at the bank instead of calendars.

Of course not. It was on sale at Radio Rob's.

It's your brand, a Kineshewa.

Couldn't you talk to me before shelling out this cash?

Did you talk to me

before you bought that rust-blowing machine?

- That was only three bucks. - I hope so.

Ron, for two weeks we could have lived with it.

- But now what? We're out $100? - Actually, it was $176.90.

You're unbelievable, Ron, I live on a budget.

There you go, beating that budget bongo again.

That's good coming from Richie Rich.

Richie Rich?

Well, I'd rather be Richie Rich

than Mr. Tater Tot toilet paper tabulator.

- Are you calling me cheap? - Yeah.

I can see it now. You'll be CEO of Kineshewa Electronics.

And like Howard Hughes, too cheap to get a dollar haircut.

You'll have dreadlocks down to your toes.

The only money you'll spend

is on a monthly flea bomb

and then you'll wonder why you don't have a woman.

I wouldn't set a flea bomb off in your house.

It would kill your wife.

I'm not going to look at your rusty, scrooge behind

for another minute.

You don't like the air conditioner, get out.

- You know what? I'm going. - Good.

But you forgot something!

No. I am not going to do your math for you at any price.

Doesn't anyone respond to the call of dollars anymore?

No wonder this nation's in decline.

Ms. Gilbert, I've been looking for you.

Colonel Taylor, good evening� And good night.

No, no, wait. I need to ask a favor of you.

Now, I'm going to attend the father-daughter dance

at Delta Sigma Theta and I need to learn the�

What do I have here?

Ah, yes.

The Roger Rabbit, Running Man hip-hop, D.C. Hammer.

M.C. Hammer.

I knew I found the right woman.

Why don't you ask your daughter, Suzanne, to help?

No, I want to surprise her.

I wanna start with the Roger Rabbit.

I think I've got a bead on that. Here we go.

Something like this, right?

You're serious, aren't you?

You ever seen me with a boom box before?

It's really not all that complicated.

You just extend your right leg

then you bring it back.

Release and step and one and two,

and one and two�

Wait a minute.

You're not trying to solve some mathematical problem, are you?

How am I doing?

Not quite so chicken-like.

Pitiful, right?

Yeah, go ahead, you can say it.

That's why I've avoided lessons all of my life.

My wife used to say she wanted to marry a man who danced.

And last month she did.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's all right. It's what happens when you refuse to ask for help.

Colonel Taylor, why are you doing this?

Why do you care if I learn math or not?

Because I refuse to see an intelligent young woman

pout her way to an F.

I can't help it.

It's just when it comes to math, I'm Dumbo.

You wouldn't be if you'd let somebody help you.

I'm not supposed to need help.

According to whom?

I was doing fine in math until the fourth grade.

Then we hit fractions.

I asked my mama and daddy to help me

and they said, "You're smart enough. Figure it out."

But I never did.

You're willing not to graduate from college

because your parents wouldn't, or could not help you

with your fourth-grade homework?

Oh, Whitley.

Get a tutor.

Yes, sir.

All right.

Now, back to my tutoring.

Well, better take off that jacket.

This will be a long night.

Five, six, seven, eight, and one, and two.

Double up.

My goodness!

The war finally took the boy's mind.

Hey, what did you do to my air conditioner?

I didn't touch it.

I only bought a Kineshewa because of you.

Next time I'm going to Sears.

Smoke! Fire! Call 911.

Quick! Where's the phone? We need the fire department.

The police-

Good thinking.

Thank you.

I still say you acted like a jackass.

- You acted like a jackass. - Don't know what you're talking about.

You want some ice cream?

I'll get some spoons.

- Fine. - Good.

Just remember to stay on your side of the carton.

But you got all the marshmallows.

Then we'll switch sides.

Well, now you got all the almonds.

All right. So, what we have here is a sampling of one thousand voters

and a breakdown of their opinions

concerning the stealth bomber.

I for one oppose the squandering of funds

for the creation of these instruments of death.

Uh-uh! Throughout the third world

there is a pressing need for food, education, housing.

Surely these conditions�

Oh� I'm sorry.

You teaching math.

The probability that I should be silent

is 100%.

No, it's quite all right, Mbubunni.

We want to hear your views and we will,

as soon as Ms. Gilbert tells us the probability

that an African-American opposes the bomber

using this data.

I got that tutor.

Well, good.

Let's find out how good he is.

Now, what formula would you use?

I would use probability of E equals K over M.

Right, right.

And in this case, what does "K" represent?

Total number of African-Americans.

Come on, now, think.

By the time she figures it out, he stealth bomber will be a dinosaur.

Once again, Mr. Bennett contributing to noise pollution as usual.

This time he's right.

No, he is not right. No!

Almost every student has had a less than shining moment at the board

and those who haven't, will.

I assure you.

Now, Ms. Gilbert has temporarily lost her way.

Let's help her find it by praying for her.

- Praying? - Yes, you especially.

Now, bow those heads and ask the Lord

to help this student.

Come on, now, Ms. Gilbert.

What is "K"?

The number of African-Americans who oppose the bomber.

Right.

- And "M" is� - Well�

- "M" is� "M" is� - She's hesitating, class.

You're not praying hard enough.

Total number of voters.

Come on, now, class, you're losing her.

Put those hands together and pray a little harder, class.

Come on, now, think, girl.

Think, girl.

Think of what "M" represents, Ms. Gilbert.

Okay.

Okay.

We are looking for African-American opponents of the bomber

among all African-American voters.

Right, now, right.

"M" equals�

Yes, ma'am.

- African-American Democrats� - Yes.

Plus all African-American Republicans?

And what is that number?

- Fifty plus 200� - Come on with it, now.

Oh, 250.

Hello. What you say?

So probability of E equals 215 over 250.

I divide by five.

Keep those hands together, class, we're almost home.

- Okay, 43 out of 50 African-Americans� - Mm-hmm�

- �oppose the stealth bomber. - Hallelujah!

- I got it right. - Yes, ma'am.

I got it right!

Amen!

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