Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Vanessa, pay close attention now.

You have to keep your baggage-

- Vanessa? I'm ready.

Yes, but I want you ready here in the living room.

The plane does not make house calls.

Now, Mom, do you realize the significance of this weekend?

Tell me the significance of this weekend.

Hillman homecoming queen, Clair Hanks,

returns as Grandma Huxtable.

Theo, do you like your life?

Oh, come on, Mom.

Now, you know I know the real reason you're taking Vanessa to Hillman.

It's a job fair weekend.

I'm conducting my business etiquette seminar.

And I'm taking Vanessa and Kara 'cause they might enjoy a change.

Oh.

So, it's not because you're trying to con Vanessa into going there?

Naturally, your father and I would be happy

if one of our children graduated from our alma mater.

Mom, you're going about it all wrong.

Now, you, Dad and Grandpa have been giving us the Hillman hard-sell

since we were kids, and look what happened.

Sondra went to Princeton.

I'm going to NYU.

And Denise�

Well, Denise is going down an African river in a pygmy canoe.

You might be going down that same river without a canoe.

Oh, Vanessa, Mom and Dad want you know

that they think Hillman is a great place to visit,

but they don't want you going there.

Great, I'm going to the University of Texas.

You're going to Hillman.

You're going to graduate and you're going to love it.

Yes, ma'am.

Hey!

I am so jazzed about Hillman.

It's not too early to start thinking about college.

Besides Hillman, there's Spelman, Fordham, Harvard, Howard, Syracuse, Clark,

- Northeastern, Northwestern, Michigan� - Kara, please.

We will be gone for two days.

Pace yourself.

This is great. That porch is incredible! I could spend hours on a porch.

I could read, do my homework or sit there and stare at the stars.

I mean, I'd come to Hillman for a porch like that alone.

Does her mouth ever overheat?

Not to the point of stalling.

Oh, Gilbert Hall.

Every time I come back here, it's like coming home.

Nothing, nothing has changed.

Even the wallpaper's the same.

My room used to be the first on the right,

just up these stairs.

Where did Dr. Huxtable live?

On this step right here.

You know, this hall was constructed in 1925.

- But the college dates back to 1880. - Mom.

We read the handbook.

Oh.

Mrs. Huxtable.

Jaleesa!

- Oh, it's so good to see you again. - Good to see you, too.

You know Vanessa�

Vanessa?

Jaleesa.

- Oh, hi. - This is Vanessa's friend, Kara.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you

How is Denise?

Oh, she's just fine.

You know, we really miss her so much.

Yes.

Well, it's very good of you to put these two up for the weekend.

So, where are we staying?

Well, our roommates went skiing this weekend,

so one of you can stay with me and the other one with Whitley.

This is so cool! It's like we're really in college!

We are in college but not in college.

The important thing is that we're here.

Jaleesa.

I think it would be criminal to separate these two, don't you?

- Absolutely. - Why don't we share my room?

That's a good idea.

We get to have our own room!

You really don't have to do this.

Yes, we do.

- Sign. - Whoa, sign.

Stapler.

Stapler.

Screwdriver.

What do you need a screwdriver for?

I just stapled myself to the sign.

Oh, man, sometimes you do things I've only seen in cartoons.

Hey.

Now, this is the company I'll be interning for this summer,

Kineshewa Electronics.

Oh, they make those video games, Dr. Zap and Q-Master Doom.

Will you get me some cartridges�

Well, if you get the job.

If?

Who got an A in advanced computer graphics?

Who do they call when the lab breaks down?

And who is Hillman's resident computer genius?

Eunice Harps?

No.

Thad Mumford?

No!

Uh, uh-

- Me, stupid! - Oh! Oh!

- Yeah, that's you, that's you. Yeah. - Yeah.

I'm telling you, man, by the end of this summer,

people across the nation will be revving up their joysticks

to play my new game, Dwayne-Tendo.

Uh, Miss Huxtable�

or should I say "Grandmama Huxtable"?

I'll just say congratulations.

Thank you, Dwayne.

That would be the safest thing you could say.

Well, I got a job interview.

I guess I'll get my foot out of my mouth.

That could take some doing.

Clair Hanks?

Puppy?

Puppy Dalton!

Ha-ha! Girl, look at you.

You haven't changed a bit.

Oh, you didn't have to say that.

But I'm glad you did.

How long has it been?

Oh, Puppy, the last time I saw you,

you had your degree in your hand, you were running across the stage yelling,

"Summa cum laude! Deal with that!"

What I should have been yelling was,

"Clair Hanks, will you marry me?"

Oh, I think you yelled the right thing.

That guy you were going with�

Uh, what's his name� skinny little guy.

He used to try to run track.

Uh, something Huxtable.

Whatever happened to him?

I married him.

Oh.

And he let you come down here alone?

Kineshewa Electronics.

Oh, you're with them!

Down here recruiting?

Summer interns for our computer graphics division.

And with any luck,

a lunch companion this afternoon.

Well, Puppy, I'm here to conduct a seminar on business etiquette,

and it wouldn't look good if I was late.

I was right.

You haven't changed a bit.

And neither have you.

For every job, there are at least 20 other applicants

whose r�sum�s look just as good as yours if not better.

But they didn't have the good sense to take my seminar today.

That's funny.

And you should have the good sense

not to try to kiss up to the interviewer.

Now, if you make it past that first interview,

your second interview will probably be in a restaurant.

And if you're thinking, "Lunch time, chow down."

Think again.

Because everything you say, do and eat

will be scrutinized completely. Pass these down, please.

You're sitting at the table with the interviewer.

These are your menus being given to you,

and you're gonna make a little small talk.

Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

About this small talk� what is it?

Quincy, it's simple.

Talk about yourself, your accomplishments, your hobbies.

But leave out how you won that cow chip toss.

Bravo, Mr. Johnson, bravo.

Loud and wrong again.

Your job is to find out what interests the interviewer.

And if it's cow chip throwing,

you talk cow chips till you're blue in the face.

Did you write that down?

Did you?

Can I borrow a pencil?

Mr. Adams, the waiter's at your table.

What is your selection, please?

Uh� Linguini marinara.

Very good.

Linguini marinara. This is your spot of marinara sauce

that the interviewer will be looking at for the rest of the lunch.

Oh, no. I happen to be a very neat eater.

Not today, darlin', you're nervous.

Mr. Johnson,

what will you be having?

I'll have the escargot,

the imperial crab,

and the Baked Alaska for dessert.

Oh, and a glass of your finest Beaujolais.

That's wine.

You've ordered the most expensive items on the menu.

I know. The company's picking up the tab.

Enjoy your snails, Mr. Beaujolais.

This will be your last supper with the company.

Uh, Mrs. Huxtable,

where I come from, we don't have any foreign restaurants.

We don't have any restaurants.

Well, when in doubt, order the fish of the day.

What if you don't like fish?

Eat it and suffer in silence.

All right, all right. That's it.

I tell you, I could live and die in this place.

- I vote for live. - Excuse me.

Ladies, step lively,

we have to nibble and run if we're gonna catch

the sculpture court and the Hillman Hall of History.

I know one thing we have to do.

What's that?

Ditch Whitley.

I thought we'd never get out of that rose garden.

I mean, I'm sure it's nice when the flowers are alive,

but who cares what bush her aunt planted?

We already told your mom that we'd spend the whole day with her.

Oh, it feels like a month already.

And the day is only half�

over.

- Ooh. - Ladies.

Next on the agenda is the Presidents' Pavilion,

row after row of bronze busts.

Oh, Whitley, I'm sure that is very moving,

but Kara and I have to our homework.

- Homework? I already did- - Yes!

So we can go to chapel in the morning.

Well, as a reward for doing your homework,

I'm gonna treat you two to dinner.

The Huckleberry Inn has an all-you-can-eat scrod fry.

Ooh, I hate to miss a scrod fry,

but we already told Jaleesa we'd have dinner with her.

Oh, well, you're in luck.

Jaleesa loves an all-you-can-eat anything.

How can you keep a straight face?

When I lie, I get all nervous,

my palms get sweaty, and I start to choke.

That is why I'm gonna do all the talking from now on.

Kara, this campus is ours!

So, what do you wanna see first?

How about the rec center?

How about fraternity row?

Here you guys are.

Look, how would you two like to go out tonight for some pizza?

Pizza? I love pizza.

- It's my favorite. With double cheese- - No, no, it's such a shame.

We told just Whitley that we would have dinner with her.

- Oh, yes, we did. - Oh, okay.

Well- Oh, but, guys, watch out.

Please do not let her take you to that nasty scrod fry. Okay?

What are you doing? You just got off being grounded.

Your mother is gonna kill you, then me.

Or have my mother kill me, but either way, we both gonna die.

It'll be worth it.

Excuse me. Did Ron leave?

Yes, thankfully. Bye-bye.

Are you all right?

From now on, I'm gonna do all my job interviews over the phone.

I went to shake the man's hand, I knocked all his pencils over his desk!

That happens to a lot of people.

Yes, but do they knock over the coffee when trying to pick up the pencils?

Well, sayonara, Kineshewa.

Kineshewa.

Was the victim of your clumsiness perhaps a Mr. Phillip Dalton?

Senior vice-president in charge of not hiring me.

Oh, well, he's a good friend of mine.

Why don't you let me talk to him for you?

- Would you? - Mm-hm.

Oh, Miss Huxtable, you're a goddess, you're a queen.

If I get this job,

I'll name a computer game after you, Clair-tendo.

Oh, please, Dwayne, honey.

Not so close to this water pitcher.

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God. - What?

Those two guys who just walked in.

I'm gonna faint.

Oh the guy in the flip-top glasses is a babe.

No, not him, the little one with the hat.

He's got a moustache.

Oh, don't tell my mother, but I think I love this school.

Of all the things to spill

on a vice-president, coffee, black coffee I spill on him-

Dwayne, skirt alert.

Why does my name have to rhyme with "stain"?

Will you chill?

You got dragon-lady Huxtable in your corner. But�

may I direct your attention to table number one?

At table number one, I see two girls

who look too young for us to be looking at.

You should spend more time in the freshman dorm.

What you see is the unjaded face of youth.

What I see is our faces on a mug shot, man.

I think they're coming over here. I can't look.

I thought you wanted them to come over!

I did, but I didn't think they would.

Hello, ladies.

You seem to be alone.

I'm Ron Johnson. This is my friend, Dwayne Wayne.

You're Dwayne Wayne?

I'm Vanessa� Huguenot,

and, um, this is my friend, Nanon.

She's from Paris.

- She only speaks French. - Huh?

Oui.

We just transferred from the Sorbonne.

Oh, the Sorbonne.

No wonder you speak French so well.

Oui.

May I interest you two in a beverage?

Oh, that would be very nice.

A coffee for me, and for Nanon, une decaf.

Oui.

Back in une flash.

I'll help him carry une tray.

What did you go and tell them that goofy story for?

Dwayne was crazy for Denise.

If he knew I was her little sister,

he'd pat us on the head and take us back to that dead rose garden.

Why did you pick French?

I'm studying German.

German is not a sexy language.

Men love French women.

Just keep smiling and saying oui.

Man, they named a whole kind of kissing after the French.

How lucky can one get?

I'm telling you, they look young.

Man, two young women from France want us.

Tell me you've got something better to do.

Mon fr�re and I

would love to paint the town rouge with vous.

Pick a language, one language, man.

What do you say?

Rouge is our color.

Oui?

Oui.

Cool. Oui.

Us, we. Yeah!

Clair�

these kids are sharp.

Now, one of those bright students that you met

happens to be a family friend.

Oh? Who's that?

Dwayne Wayne.

Mr. Coffee?

Now you put that tone of voice away now.

He's a bright student.

He'd be a great asset to your company.

Just don't ask him to make coffee.

What are you laughing at?

Nothing. I'm just enjoying this.

Enjoying what?

It's taken me 25 years,

and finally, you're gonna have dinner with me.

Oh, am I?

Well, if this Dwayne Wayne is as bright as you say,

I wanna know all about him.

Everything.

So, how is the Mandalay Inn, 7:30,

a nice quiet table by the window?

I don't have a problem with having a business dinner with you

to discuss Dwayne Wayne, his qualifications,

and his future with your company, and you're the worst!

Oh, uh, make that seven o'clock. We'll have drinks.

Lots of drinks.

Whitley, I just opened that so I could get some fresh air.

And I closed it because, at any moment,

a herd of seals are gonna waddle through here.

Whitley, it is stuffy in here, okay, and I am falling asleep.

Sleep� that's exactly what I was deprived of last night

because you were grinding your teeth.

Excuse me, but you had no problem sleeping.

I was the one that was serenaded all night

by Madame Whitley and her all-nostril orchestra.

- I have never snored. - Oh, please.

And if I did last night, it was an allergic reaction

to that drugstore discount perfume

you put on with a plant sprayer.

You know, Whitley,

your hospitality is going to get one of us killed.

Now, I'm going to go across that hall

and tell those girls that they are splitting up tonight.

Oh, please, eating with you wasn't punishment enough?

Whitley, what are you talking about? I didn't take them to dinner, you did.

Jaleesa, I ate alone at that scrod bar.

Then�

Would you-

This is my best dress!

- These kids� - That's your best dress?

Is our table ready?

In just a couple of minutes.

So�

tell me about Dwayne Wayne.

Well, he's a sophomore-

The job is his.

Don't you wanna know more about why you hired him?

I looked over his r�sum� when it dried.

The young man is going places.

Oh, Puppy, he's gonna be so happy to hear that.

But not nearly as happy as I am

sitting across from the lovely Clair Hanks.

Huxtable.

Of course. Yes.

You know, your mouth still gets that little curl in the corner

when you get embarrassed?

The table must be ready by now.

I was too eager back then, too, wasn't I?

That's why you started calling me "Puppy."

Actually, Cliff gave you that name.

That figures.

He never liked me.

Couldn't stand you.

- Did he have good reason not to like me? - Oh, Puppy.

- Your table is ready. - Oh.

Well?

Well, you heard the man, the table's ready.

Oh, we're not eating anything until you answer the question.

Puppy�

I have always been attracted to you.

I knew it.

But for the past 25 years,

I have been in love with Heathcliff Huxtable.

It won't last.

Let's eat.

How did you remember those pencils?

Man, have you seen these prices?

You know what's in my wallet? $12, and my organ donor card.

Man, you can't take French women

to a place where they announce your order over a loudspeaker.

Ooh, good music. Let's dance.

Voulez-vous boogie avec moi?

Oui.

Excuse me, where is the ladies' room?

- Par la, madame. - Ah, thank you.

Excuse me, may I cut in here?

Oh, Miss Huxtable. This is my date, Vanessa Huguenot.

Looks just like a daughter I used to have.

Mom, don't get upset-

Mom!

Mom, you wanted me to love Hillman.

And Dwayne has done a lot to make me love Hillman.

No, I haven't. I haven't done a thing.

- Mrs. Huxtable, I can explain- - What kind of French is that?

That is French for, "I don't know whose clothes you're wearing,

but your behind is mine."

Mom, the good news is,

I wanna go to Hillman now.

Pity, Vanessa. You'll be attending a convent school

in a remote part of Bulgaria.

Excuse me, Clair.

I really didn't like that table.

We're gonna have to wait a few more minutes.

Mom�

who's this?

Phillip, I'm gonna have to take a rain check on dinner-

- Dinner! - Dinner, darling!

D-I-N-N-E-R! Yes, dinner.

I have to take a couple of street urchins, here, and lock them up in the dormitory,

but there's no reason for you not to enjoy your meal

with your future summer intern, Mr. Dwayne Wayne.

I'll try not to order anything wet.

One day, I'm gonna take you up on that rain check.

Oh, I hope so.

Mom, you never said who that was.

Vanessa, if you live past tonight

to become a mother of five,

a grandmother of two and can still wear a size eight dress,

maybe, then, you'll deserve to know.

Excuse me.

If I've only been here less than 20 minutes,

do I still have to pay for parking?

- Oui, monsieur. -

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