Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Hey, how's your creative writing paper coming?

It's coming.

Freddie, the page is blank.

That's the problem with you non-writers.

You think writing is putting words on paper.

- It's a very cerebral process. - Mm.

It's all up here.

Well, unless you plan on leaving your head

on Dr. Foster's desk tomorrow,

I suggest you take it from there and put it down there.

- I'm just fine, Jaleesa. - All right.

It's exactly how Hemingway used to write.

He used to sit in cafes for hours,

sipping wine and observing life's moving canvas.

You know, Hemingway flunked out of Hillman.

He did.

Instead of going to class, he sat right at this very table,

just watching folks go by.

Jaleesa, you can't force inspiration.

I'm waiting for my muse.

My inspiration.

Well, I suggest you start without her.

Hey! Man, When I asked you to take my clothes to the cleaners,

I thought you understood I wanted them clean.

The cleaners is cleaned out.

The place is gone.

I was just there two weeks ago.

Time waits for no man or his underwear.

They're leveling the entire mall.

Not Ray Nay's, too, man?

Day after tomorrow, that restaurant will be a hickory-smoked pile of memories.

Two weeks from now,

the block won't even smell like barbecue sauce anymore.

How could Ray do this to us?

The man is 72 years old.

He's going to Florida to live with his mother.

- You know what we're gonna do, Ron? - What?

We're gonna call Ray Nay's right now, and order every last slab he's got.

Even those little, gristly ones.

- Ooh, I love those! - Yeah.

Tonight, we will host the first and last

Ray Nay's memorial pig-out party.

Black tie optional.

- How's your day going? - Oh, pretty good.

I got an A on my business management case.

Good.

And my sister just wrote me,

her baby cut a new tooth.

Walter, what is that?

Mr. Leroy's hot sauce.

I never leave home without it.

So you just buy food to have some place to put your sauce?

Mr. Leroy says it's like a snake charmer to the food.

It coaxes the flavor out.

It's also the secret ingredient in all my cooking.

Cooking?

Now, Walter, you know, the only time you use your oven

is to dry your nasty socks.

Well, that shows you how much you know about me.

You are dining with a world-class gourmet chef.

Did you know that every time you lie, you shorten your life?

I can see the only way to close your mouth is puttin' one of my entrees in it.

Saturday. My place.

I will cook you a five-course gourmet meal

with a side order of crow.

Wha-

Lettie, you've got to help me. I can't even boil water.

Any idiot can boil water.

Not if they don't have a pot.

Don't you think Jaleesa would respect you more

if you just told her you can't cook?

I don't want her respect.

I want her to be wrong.

Walter, people study cooking for years.

I can't turn you into a gourmet chef overnight.

You don't have to. You got until Saturday.

Coming.

- Vernon. - Oh!

I'm not staying.

I just brought these towels that Velma picked up at the white sale.

Oh, you didn't have to bring those over.

Well, that's what I told Velma.

- What you doing here? - I need a favor.

Don't loan this boy money.

Walter's promised Jaleesa a gourmet meal,

and he wants me to teach him to cook it.

Oh, well, with all due respect,

what does she know about food?

She lived in France.

Now, you can't even taste the food there.

They drown everything in sauce.

Some of the finest chefs in the world come from France.

Mm-hmm. And they all men.

Now, what you need is something that sticks to your bones,

like good meat loaf.

Oh.

With all due respect, Vernon,

foul meat loaf never won fair maiden.

Oh, now, she don't know what she's talking about.

The night Velma had my meat loaf,

she proposed to me.

Mm-hmm.

And to this day,

I just gotta walk in the house

with a couple of pounds of ground round,

and she starts acting real nice.

It could work that way for you, too.

I like meat loaf.

Well, every woman does.

And it's a lot better than serving

midget chicken wearing ankle socks.

Walter, in the next three days,

I will teach you how to prepare a few simple gourmet dishes

that will have Jaleesa whispering French in your ears.

The only thing Jaleesa is gonna whisper in his ear is,

"Where's the milk of magnesia?"

I'm going.

Don't start, don't say one word.

I'm going to eat this pizza and enjoy it.

I'm finishing my workout.

I'm not even payin' attention to you.

Good.

What you eat is your own business,

even if it's gonna kill you.

I thought you said you weren't gonna say anything?

I said nothing.

Nothing that the American Heart Association

hasn't said time and time again.

This health kick was your New Year's resolution.

Why don't you just break it like everybody else?

Well,

isn't that the difference between me and everybody else?

I have willpower, moral fiber.

In fact, I've increased my fiber intake by 23%.

I've never been so regular in all my life.

Oh!

What's wrong?

Oh!

It's not fair.

How could Hemingway and O'Neill

keep turning out ream after ream of brilliant prose?

They had to do something in between drinks.

My brain has become a vast wasteland.

Why wait until tomorrow?

Why not just go to Dr. Foster and get my zero now?

Oh, they're having a party at McLurkin in half an hour, all invited.

Oh, dancing is very good for your cardiovascular system.

That's the only reason why I'm going.

What about you, Fred?

I'm never gonna have another creative thought

as long as I live.

I am burnt out at 17-and-a-half.

Freddie, come on, you can't let Dr. Foster intimidate you like this.

It's not him.

It's the big fat "D" he put on my last paper.

Along with the words,

"flat, uninspired and hackneyed."

What you need is a break.

I mean, come to the party.

Maybe you can get your creative juices flowing.

Why not?

I'm just chasing my own tail.

Let somebody else chase it.

Fellas, I need this couch up against the wall,

and this table against the soda machine.

Could you tell them to put some space between the tuner and the turntable?

- The equipment needs to breathe. - All right, Randall.

Breathe in paper bag. Get away from me.

Ron! Where� Anybody seen Ron?

Where is he with the ribs?

Hey, who's using my CDs as coasters?

Ah, now the party can start.

"The room was electric.

The women walked into the party,

"each with her own agenda.

The men had a touch of wicked about them."

Sounds like something you'd read in a checkout stand.

Where is that four-eyed fool?

He's probably behind a tree,

sucking the sauce out of his fingernails.

The ribs have arrived.

Time to grub.

Ray Nay's ribs.

You said there was a party.

You said nothing about ribs.

I'm sorry. I didn't request the menu.

Do you know how much fat and salt

is in one tiny slab of ribs?

It makes pizza look like health food.

Mm.

Honey mustard.

Brown sugar swimming in molasses.

Randall, let's boogie.

Hey, on the way back here,

did you drop Ray Nay off in Florida?

You'll thank me in a minute.

I'm gonna knock you out if these ribs are cold.

Behold, nectar of the gods.

Where did you get this?

Ray Nay's isn't the only establishment that's biting the dust.

We're also bidding a fine farewell to Zircon Liquors.

Don't worry, they just look expensive.

Man, if Walter finds this, we're history.

Walter is gone for the evening.

Ergo, we are free to partake of these exotic elixirs.

"Boysenberry Schnapps."

Sounds European.

Which one should we put in the punch?

- All of 'em. - Let's start with the blue ones.

Go, Randall! Go, Randall!

Randall rocks the house!

Party over here!

Punch is served.

Drink fast before it eats through the cups.

Mm!

This stuff, you could preserve frogs with it.

Mm, I like it. Makes the back of my neck tingle.

That's probably your hair falling out.

Everybody, may have I� Yo!

Kim, the music.

Everybody, may I have your attention, please?

Everybody, take a rib.

Now, tonight, we're saying goodbye

to a legend, a Hillman shrine,

Ray Nay's Barbecue and Take-out.

Now, we all have our own personal, little memories of Ray Nay's.

I bounced my very first check there.

Join with me now,

as we raise our ribs�

in tribute to Ray Nay.

The man.

The place.

The rib.

To Ray Nay's!

I say good riddance to Ray Nay's and his greasy sticks of death.

This party is a movable feast.

Ooh, that's good.

That's Hemingway.

Fine.

Then it's a veritable cornucopia of earthly delights.

That's Brooks.

Pure Brooks.

Kim, isn't this party

a veritable cornucopia of earthly delights

full of bacchanalian revelers?

My muse is back.

I wish Dr. Foster was here.

The he'd see who's trite, uninspired and hacky-hacky.

Whoa! Freddie, honey, Freddie, are you okay?

I am exactly fine.

? I've got the muse in me ?

Walter, what's happening, man? What are you doing here?

Ha-ha. I believe I live here.

No, yeah, but don't you live at the far, far end of the hall?

- Thanks for the direction. - Okay.

- Listen, I'm thirsty. - Thirsty?

- Real thirsty. - Real thirsty?

I believe I'll have some punch.

Oh, no, it's very flat.

I like it like that.

Uh�

Walter, that's not the punch bowl.

That's the sterno for the ribs.

You all are in real trouble. Huge trouble.

And you, you're in extra special trouble for being stupid!

Dump it in a toxic waste zone.

Oh, no, no, no.

Stay! Have fun tonight!

'Cause tomorrow, fun will be a distant memory.

I'll just get myself a rib�

and the rest of this sterno.

Well, Randall and I had a fine time,

and we didn't have to poison ourselves

with that everything-but-the-kitchen-sink punch.

Hey, there's a great DJ over at Grapevine's Alley.

I've got my boogedy-boogedy shoes on.

"Walter's gone for the evening. We get to drink these exotic elixirs."

Occasionally, a man makes a mistake.

Do you always have to be that man?

Oh, everybody, don't go, uh�

Adopt a rib.

Uh maybe a slab?

Well, are you ready to go back?

No, I think I'll just stay and help clean up.

- Okay, see ya. - Okay.

Walter,

don't beat the dough.

- Roll it. - Sorry.

Come in.

I'm not stayin'.

Oh, Vernon.

I just come to see how you doin'

with mission impossible.

Walter's doing just fine.

In fact, he has exceeded my expectations.

What are you doing?

What are those red streaks doing in my pastry?

It's my secret ingredient.

Mr. Leroy's hot sauce.

I told you to put that away!

This is going to be more fun

than watching rassling on TV.

My brilliance glows like a beacon in the dark.

Shh.

Would you please be quiet?

This is not a hop-sital zone.

Good.

Now there's more room for us.

Thank you, oh, muse.

Conductor on the train to the subconscious.

All aboard!

Shh!

Whoo!

Ah.

Stay there, big fella.

Walker� Hi, Alice.

Have you seen Mr. Langston Hughes?

Oh! He's over there?

I didn't know he moved.

I am sailing to Byzantium.

? Row, row� ?

Whoo!

All ashore, who's going ashore!

Freddie!

Hi, Dwayne.

What are you doin' up there?

Shh! This is a library.

Come on, Freddie, be careful. Come on down.

Come on down.

- Catch me if I fall. - Yes, Freddie. Just come on, please.

I love you, Dwayne.

I love you, too, Freddie.

No� no.

- I really love you. - I know.

From the first moment I saw you,

I said, "I love him, I want him, I need him."

We're going to sit down.

At last, my heart is light.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Oh, Freddie, no!

The hollandaise is coming along just fine.

It hasn't curdled yet.

That's good, because you've used my last egg.

All that heavy sauce makes a person crabby.

That's what's wrong with the French.

I know, 'cause I worked with them.

His name was Guy, but he called himself Gui.

- Now that is- - Vernon!

I have a headache.

It's probably from being around all that heavy sauce.

The moment of truth.

Salmon en croute.

Whoa!

It even looks like a fish.

Yes, in its very own special way.

It's beautiful, and excuse me!

Oh, boy!

You know, I didn't want to hurt that boy's feelings,

but that fish looks like a dog.

- Walter, what? - Come here.

- What is it? - Here, eat this.

What is it?

It's your gourmet meal, and it's getting cold.

Aren't you two days early?

You can't keep good cooking to a calendar.

Besides, I don't think I can make it again.

Mm, Walter!

There's something very attractive about a man

who knows his way around the kitchen.

And the kitchen's not even my best room.

Ah!

? Ray Nay's, go away ?

? Gonna give me a heart attack ?

? With all that fat ?

? I'm a strong woman ?

? I'm a fine woman ?

Ray Nay's is gone. Leave me alone.

She's heavy for a little thing.

I told you, we should've left her in the library.

She would have woken up eventually.

Just help me take her in.

Ooh!

Walter!

What happened to her?

I don't know. We just found her in the library.

- Workin' on her paper. - Poor kid's really tired.

We'll put her to bed, be on our way.

- We're goin' now. - Toodle-loo.

Ah-ah. Before you toodle,

and I know this might sound silly,

but by any chance, was Freddie drinking?

What makes you say that?

The room is spinning.

Ha! I know what you're thinkin',

but we did a good thing here, Walter. We rescued this poor child.

- Oh, you did? - Yeah.

Now, the way I see it is,

if you hadn't gone to Zircon Liquors for that fire sale,

she wouldn't be in this condition.

Oh, please, just let me make it through the night.

I swear, I'll never touch the stuff again.

You know, I think Freddie's been drinking.

Give up, man.

Does your mama like you?

Meet me in my room in ten minutes.

No, not the fish!

Don't give her the fish!

Good morning, good morning!

It's a beautiful day!

- How are you? - Shh!

Is it that bad?

It's worse.

Now I know what it feels like to be embalmed.

Jaleesa, what happened last night?

The last thing I remember

is sticking my head in a big fish.

Big fish en croute.

And Walter may never speak to you again.

Walter? What did I do to Walter?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

I may not live that long.

You may not want to, but I think you will.

Oh, Jaleesa, what should I do?

First of all, we're gonna get you out of these stinky clothes,

and you will promise to never snuggle up

with Brother Booze ever again.

No, that's wrong.

Brother Booze was a big help last night.

He got me over my writer's block,

held my pen steady�

Last night, I wrote brilliantly.

I couldn't stop myself.

The words just flowed right out of me.

So, you got your paper done?

"Molecules scramble�

eggs"?

"Somewhere in China,

"elephants tiptoe across a courtyard,

picking up loose change. Yin� yin yang"?

Oh, no!

Jaleesa, you've got to call Dr. Foster. Tell him I don't have my paper.

Tell him that the dog ate it.

Freddie, we don't have a dog.

Tell him that you ate it, please!

- Come on, come on. - Oh, my knee.

I can't hand this paper in.

If I do, it will be the end of my career as a writer.

It may be the beginning of your career as a student-writer. Now, come on.

We are gonna get you in the shower and off to your eight o'clock class.

It's phys ed, isn't it?

You'll be bouncing up and down on the trampoline.

I hate you.

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