Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Walter, give it up. Just give it up.

If a guy is on a date, and he has the choice

between looking at a pretty woman and looking at his watch,

the watch is gonna lose every time.

Somebody has got to take responsibility

for getting these girls back before curfew.

What about the girls?

A lady's watch is so small, you just can't see them after the dark.

I thought this meeting ended 20 minutes ago.

It did for me.

There would be no problem, Lettie, if this man

would not give his boys grace period after curfew.

Would you rather my boys just leave your girls in the middle of the quad?

"It's one o'clock. I got to go. Bye!"

They can be just as gentlemanly at a quarter to 1:00, Walter.

Well, it's been lovely standing ringside.

Walter, this is gonna sound very strange to you.

I know that, but�

Do you think we could try�

Do you think we could try having the same curfew for just a few-

Would you please stop that?

- Stop what? - Stop staring at me.

I am not staring. I am paying attention.

Then pay attention that way.

- Jaleesa! Jaleesa, I got this for you. - Freddie, what is that?

She can't fool me. She's trying to smuggle one of my boys into this dorm.

Yo, man, get out of there.

It's from Eric.

First class from New Jersey, and that's all I could find out

without X-ray vision.

Oh!

Another teddy bear.

What a great scarf. Do you want it? 'Cause if you don't, I'll have it.

Oh, this guy, Eric, he sure know how to dress up a bear.

You should see the bracelet he put on the bunny.

Excuse me.

Thanks, Freddie.

Um, who is this guy "Eric"?

Jaleesa's boyfriend.

- He spoils her rotten. - Uh-huh.

Dressing up bears?

Sounds a little freaky to me.

Man, what happened to you? You lose a bet with somebody?

It works. I got your attention. Read my pillow.

"Ron's wake up service."

"I call you�

and wake you up!"

It's this type of ingenuity

that will keep the small businessman from going under.

Yeah, well, it might put the small businessman in the nut house.

- What are you talking about? - Listen.

You're the boss.

You supposed to represent the ideals and goals of your company.

I do.

So you think Ronald McDonald really runs things?

Maybe. You'll never know.

Listen�

Small minds make small money.

You've got to start thinking big, flashy.

First off, the name is lame. You need something that's

gonna be on the lips of everyone on this campus who sleeps.

- Hmm. - Something like, uh, "Easy Risers."

- Oh. - Oh. No, you're right.

Uh�

Oh, I got it. Oh, I love my mind.

Listen�

? Shake me, wake me ?

? Shake, shake me, wake me Shake me, wake me� ?

- That's not bad. - Not bad?

At least it'll fit on one side of the pillow.

That's a good point.

This is a perfect way for us to get those motorcycles.

- That's the best point you made all day. - Okay. Can you see it?

Me and you, sleek red helmets, black leather gloves,

two babes du jour.

Burning up the highways, 750 cc's of fun.

- I do love your mind. - Okay.

Let's hit the road, Jack.

All right. But first, we're gonna give this hat back to Santa.

- Yo, Dwayne. What's happening?

I decided "Shake me, Wake me" should take a multi-media approach.

I went down to the radio station and I made a deal with Nutty Jay.

- The morning man? - Uh-huh.

We wake him up at 5:00,

he plays our ads at 6:00, 7:00 and 8:00.

Good! My brother, I underestimated you.

People frequently do.

Well, if it isn't the fledgling entrepreneurs.

When does the company go public?

Well, enough of my fiscal humor.

My roommate, Kimberly, is majoring in hibernation.

Good, because our motto is "No sleep is too deep."

- It is? - It is now.

Well, she has to be up at 5:00 a.m.

Oh, 5:00 a.m.? We'll be there. You just sign the contract.

Ooh, it says here that you have a money-back guarantee.

- We do? - Of course we do.

Of course we do.

Okay. For added incentive, I'm gonna give you an extra $10,

if you don't wake me up.

We'll come in on little cat's feet.

How very reassuring.

Hello, Walter.

Lettie. Is Jaleesa back from class yet?

Not yet.

You're not here for round two, are you?

Oh, quite the contrary.

I came to apologize for my behavior at the meeting.

I was a little-

Childish?

I was thinking more impish.

Well, I'll be sure and give her the message

"Walter's sorry he was an imp."

I appreciate that.

- Sorting mail? - Mm-hmm.

I hate it.

It's not my favorite pastime, either.

Oh, I especially hate the love letters.

It's like the women just hose them down with perfume.

But you don't have that problem,

unless the men put cologne on the letters.

Do they?

Some do, some don't.

Oh, some do?

Anybody in particular?

Like the people who write to Jaleesa?

What's so funny?

Walter, Walter, Walter, I am very disappointed in you.

I thought you were more clever than that.

- Pretty lame, wasn't it? - Uh-huh.

But I was thinking on my feet.

And I was wondering when you and Jaleesa would stop arguing about curfews,

and start breaking a few yourself.

- Lettie! - Uh-huh.

I have known Jaleesa for almost two years.

But something's changed.

It's like, all of a sudden, she went from Jaleesa to�

�Jaleesa.

Maybe you should be saying this to her instead of to me.

I'd like to.

Let me tell you something about me.

When it comes to women, I'm smooth.

I've always thought of you that way.

But Jaleesa's tough. Around her, I just lose all my smooth.

And that is what makes you uncomfortable.

No, that's what I like.

Walter, stop treading water and ask the woman out!

- I might just do that. - Good.

Oh, Walter.

I've finished sorting the mail.

Right.

Jaleesa?

Hey, Walter.

Listen, you got anything going on tomorrow night?

Not really. Thank you. Why?

What do you say we grab some dinner,

maybe catch a show,

just you and me,

and Virginia's finest cappuccino?

- That sounds lovely. - Doesn't it?

But I don't think so. Thanks, anyway.

Jaleesa, I don't believe I've ever seen you

take such an interest in your appearance.

Are we perhaps primping for that certain special someone?

Do you have to sit here?

You know, you are a woman of tremendous fortitude.

If I had to spend semester after semester without male companionship,

I'd chew my nails to the nib.

I know, but thank God for press-ons.

Is there anything more frustrating than amour across the miles?

A most romantic concept, but a very frustrating reality.

Very frustrating.

You're right, but I found a way to deal with it.

I just pour buckets of cold water all over myself.

Jaleesa, from one woman to another,

it is obvious that you are torn.

Here you have one man,

loving, but stranded in the wilds of New Jersey.

And, then, out of nowhere, comes this handsome, yet somewhat flabby Romeo

to steal your heart away.

Whitley, get away from my table.

Okay, fine. But I don't think a teddy bear with a scarf

is going to keep you very warm for very long.

- Mind if I sit down? - It would be an improvement.

I know when I'm the fifth wheel.

Toodles.

Jaleesa, I just got back from the history department,

and they're gonna put your name in the books.

For what?

Because you're the first woman in this century

to refuse to go out with me.

Congratulations.

Aw!

Walter, I'm really very flattered that you asked me out,

but I have a boyfriend, so I don't date.

Oh, see. Now, that's where you got off on the wrong foot.

Have you at this or any other time heard me mention the word "date"?

- Well, what else- - Just answer the question.

And remember, you're still under oath.

- No. - The defense rests.

Oh, so you put on a real pair of pants

and walked all the way over to my dorm to not ask me on a date?

Those are the facts.

Walter, please, don't try it. You and I are friends.

Exactly. And where is it written

that two friends cannot eat food in front of each other?

It's not in the history books.

I was just there. I checked.

So, if my boyfriend was here, then you'd ask him to come with us, too?

Absolutely. I might even bring my own date.

Okay.

We both have to eat.

So, why don't you pick me up tomorrow at, uh, seven o'clock?

7:00? Oh, no, no, no.

People who go on dates, go out at 7:00.

So how about 5:00? It will still be light outside.

I have a four o'clock class.

Can we say 6:30?

Getting dangerous.

But I'll take the risk.

See you at 6:30.

- 6:30. - A nice, friendly time.

- Ready? - Ready.

Okay. Okay. Okay, I'm up, Mom.

Shh! Shh! Mom?

Sign this.

Thank you.

She's not awake.

She signed the sheet.

We have to do this right.

- Plan B? - Plan B.

Quick. Come on.

Ready? One, two�

Three.

Come on. Ron! Help me!

Help!

Need some help?

Here's your gym bag.

Come on. Go on to swim practice.

- Go to swim practice. - Come on.

- Swim practice. - You're up?

- Swim practice. - Swim�

Plan C.

Kimberly. Kimberly.

I got it. I got it!

- Turn it off. - I don't know how.

Where's it plugged in?

- Do I look like an electrician? - Well, do something!

This was going to be the senior prom of all time.

And we did not go to just any tuxedo rental place.

- Oh, of course not. - We rented downtown.

Mr. Pierre's Formal Wear.

I see we were going for quality.

Oh, absolutely.

The finest powder blue tuxedos that money could rent.

Velveteen lapels, white patent leather shoes,

with matching cummerbunds.

- You must have looked ridiculous. - Oh, we sure did.

But we didn't know until ten years later when we looked at the pictures.

The pictures.

They should have cancelled the '70s, like, early,

'cause everybody looked so bad.

But, you know,

I'm gonna hang on to my gold lam� hot pants

with the matching vest, because they will come back in style.

I think so.

Oh! Lobster diavolo.

I like it, too.

I can't say it, but I like it.

Shall we order two?

Oh, that would be great, but you have to order it a day in advance.

Maybe not.

Sir? Are you taking our dinner to another table?

- But, signore, it belongs- - No, it belongs right here.

Now, my friend and I will require some bibs.

- But this table ordered it yesterday. - May I speak to you in private?

Sure.

- Enrique- - Enrico.

I'm sorry.

How much would it take to convince you we ordered this yesterday?

Say about $25?

Signore, signorina.

The gentleman ordered it yesterday for you.

Enjoy.

You ordered this yesterday?

- Absolutely. - Mm.

See, I know you better than you know yourself.

I'm a sensitive man.

Then why is that couple over there about to go upside Enrico's head?

I have been admiring your earrings all evening.

- Thank you. - Very nice.

- Thank you. - Are they from Eric?

Yes, they are.

You know,

when I saw that teddy bear with the scarf, looking like it was about to go to church,

I thought the brother's about 12 or something.

But this shows me the brother has some class.

Does Brenda?

Brenda who?

Brenda in Administration.

Brenda in Dean Hewitt's office.

- Oh, that Brenda. - Oh, that Brenda.

Yeah, the one you took to the faculty dance

and the Branford Marsalis concert.

Oh, she's nice.

But I'm looking for someone much more sophisticated.

A woman who enjoys good food, good jazz, wrestling.

Somebody like you.

Not you, but somebody like you.

Or like Renee maybe?

- Renee? - Mm-hmm.

The nurse in Student Health, Renee?

Oh, she's just waiting for you to get sick.

Oh, really?

Well, maybe I'll just sleep with my feet in the icebox tonight.

Feel like putting your feet to the action?

Now you're really being silly.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

And no one is gonna notice us just sitting here, wiggling in our seats.

? Me and Mrs. Jones ?

Well, if you won't dance with me, I will dance with somebody.

- Enrico, can you cabbage patch? - Would you stop that?

You are embarrassing me!

Stop it.

All right. All right.

? We both know that it's wrong ?

? But it's much too strong ?

? To let it go now ?

Come on.

Walter, the music is too slow for you to dance that fast.

Hey, speak for yourself. I'm doing fine out here.

What's wrong? You got a problem with these smooth moves?

It just looks like something you learned on prom night.

- Well, maybe I did. - Mm-hmm.

But unlike the tux, these moves are still happening.

Groovy?

Now listen to the beat and stay off my feet.

I'm not-

Would you just dance?

? Me and Mrs., Mrs. Jones ?

? Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones ?

? We got a thing goin' on ?

Well, partner, after less than a week of business�

Hmm.

�"Shake me, Wake me," a privately-owned corporation,

has grossed a grand total of $271.

Ooh, not bad.

Minus $22 for posters and incidentals,

we show a net profit of $249.

Wow! Only $2,440 away from our motorcycles.

Does that include helmets?

Helmets and leather jackets on sale at skin city.

You guys going to the Kappa House tonight?

It's going to be a def jam!

- Planning on it. - Yeah, consider us there.

Man, I'm too tired to move.

I was too tired to say it.

You know, if we quit now, we have enough for the leather jackets.

We can buy one helmet and lie about these motorcycles.

I do love your mind.

Okay.

Finally.

Did you have a good time?

You're smiling. The answer is yes!

- I had a good time. - I knew it! Tell me, tell me!

All I can say is my face hurts and my sides ache from laughing.

- I knew he was funny. - The man is hysterical.

I mean, the things he's done, the places he's been,

and the clothes he's worn.

Ooh!

"Ooh" what?

It's adi�s, Eric.

I'm gonna miss him. He had a great phone voice.

He'll get over you someday.

And you'll get some sense someday.

Just because I'm 17-and-a-half doesn't mean I haven't lived.

I read a book about a woman who couldn't decide between two men.

I see.

She couldn't make a choice, so she made a wish for the head of one guy

- to be on the body of the other. - Uh-huh.

And everything worked out fine till his head started to shrink.

I'm very happy with Eric, okay?

If you say so.

But you shouldn't feel guilty about liking Walter.

I have nothing to feel guilty about.

That's what the woman with the pin-headed boyfriend said.

Mm�

Eh, shut up and mind your own business.

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