Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready, yeah ?

? For I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

? Yes, it is now, yeah ?

? Here's our chance to make it ?

? And if we focus on our goal ?

? You can dish it, we can take it ?

? Hey, just remember That you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

? It's a different world ?

- ? It's a different world ? - ? Than where you come from ?

? Ooh ?

? Than where you come from ?

Those are the facts.

If that's true, why is there war? You're wrong.

- Fall back on the war issue.

Gentlemen, gentlemen!

Let's try and have a debate, not recreate the Tower of Babel.

Continue.

Man is a rational being. That's that.

"That's that." So when a fly sister walks by,

it's your reason that makes you hit on her, lover boy?

Flap, flap, flap.

Now, the decision to speak to that woman is rational.

If you were ruled purely by your emotions,

you'd just jump on every woman you saw.

Dwayne does.

Miss Pebble.

Dr. Mason, I wouldn't exactly call Hobbes, Plato and Kant a lively bunch.

They're hardly in any position to assess human nature.

Opinion?

I'm with her. Take Immanuel Kant. The man lived like a monk.

Already, his premise is shaky.

His lifestyle is beside the point.

Perhaps not. Thank you, Sam.

Sit down, boy.

Do these philosophers speak only from their own experience?

Can their theories apply to the average man?

Perhaps Mr. Johnson can answer that.

May I ponder that?

The answer is not on the ceiling,

but in ourselves�

had we done the reading.

Go back to sleep, man.

Mercifully, our time is up.

Now, your joint research papers are due next Monday,

and if you don't have a partner, find one.

And remember,

this paper is worth 35% of your grade.

Class dismissed.

Charisse, every time you open your mouth,

I see our grade plummet. Just hush up.

Honey, who died and made you Queen of Sheba?

Remember, I got the word processor.

But I have the words.

Hey, Dwayne.

You argue all the wrong points, but, uh, you do it well.

I think you and me could do serious damage on this paper.

I could be open for that.

I was thinking of doing something on The Social Contract,

dealing with Rousseau-

I guess it's time we got to work on our paper.

I was thinking of doing the paper with Sam.

But you said you were gonna do it with me.

Would you excuse us for a minute?

I'm hurt.

I'm deeply hurt.

Nothing about you is deep.

What about friendship, teamwork, brotherly bonding?

I believe in all that. I'm just concerned about what happens

when my "A" bonds with your "D."

Okay, fine. Leave me in the dust.

Dis me altogether.

Sam�

�I'm afraid I have to take a rain check.

I was just reminded of a prior commitment.

Oh. Well, good luck with your silent partner.

In the words of Mark Twain,

"Better to be silent and just be a fool, than to speak and prove it."

That was Lincoln, and you said it wrong.

The point is moot.

The point is, we only have five days.

Ronnie?

Noel. Wonderful.

Do you have a class now? I was hoping we could grab a bite.

Noel, my schedule is open.

So is the library.

If you have work, I understand.

No, no, no, Noel.

Come with us.

Oh, no, no, no, Noel.

Please don't.

I'll tell you what. Go to the library, find us a table, check out the books.

I'll be there in half hour, 45 minutes, tops.

Better make it an hour.

Hi, Dwayne.

Oh, Teddie� Uh, Frankie.

- Freddie. Freddie.

I knew it was a guy's name.

I'm going to get a job today. That's why I'm dressed like this.

What do you think?

Well, uh, I think your dressmaker had a green thumb.

Thank you.

The job's at the Pit in the kitchen.

Well, good luck, Freddie.

Thank you.

I can see you've got a lot of work to do. I'm gone.

- Hi, Jaleesa. - Hi, Freddie.

What time are they pruning your dress?

Dwayne liked it, too.

Look at him.

Just look at him.

I'd really rather not.

Just watching him think is inspiring.

I could write a poem about it.

"Ode to a Sensuous Scribbler."

"Oh, thou, Dwayne�"

Oh, thou, Freddie

Thou wilst be late for thine job interview

Mm-hmm.

It's about time.

Sorry I'm late.

But Noel's not.

But not to worry. I am here and my mind is yours.

What topic did we pick?

Rousseau's Social Contract as an invitation

to totalitarian government and the guillotine.

Def!

This is really good. Oh, look, a spelling mistake.

Shall I just circle it?

If you want it to be the last thing you do.

Touchy, touchy.

Ron, I've been waiting for you for almost two hours.

If you keep this up, we won't have a research paper.

We'll have a research paragraph.

What are you getting so hankty for? It's only philosophy.

It's not like you can use it in life.

Well, I'm sorry, but some of us are planning to go to grad school.

Man, you're going to be an engineer.

What are you gonna do? When you're planning your suspension bridge,

stop in the middle, and say, "Wait a minute. Is this bridge rational?"

I don't want you to strain yourself.

Do you think you could do five minutes of work for me?

I'm getting the strange feeling

that you don't think I'm holding up my end of this pony.

- That's exactly what I think. - Well, you're wrong, mister.

Behold.

Index cards. Whoa!

We're going to need these.

Do me a favor. Start reading,

because you have to take notes on all of this.

- I've got it covered. - Okay.

? I cannot satisfy myself ?

? With one, and two ?

? One, two, one� ?

I can't believe this line.

These are just the freshmen. He's already interviewed the upperclassmen.

They get to go first?

It's unfair, undemocratic, unconstitutional.

It won't be when we're upperclassmen.

You don't understand. I have $15.39 to live off of for the next three months.

Come on. You have as much of a chance as anybody else.

Don't scuff my floors now.

Nobody walks anymore. Everybody drags.

Drag, drag, drag.

Next!

I said, "next."

Well, don't just stand there.

Mr. Gaines, I'm Freddie Brooks.

Are you qualified?

Yes. I'm bright, I'm friendly, and I'm a national merit scholar.

No experience.

Well, I did have a paper route once,

and I helped out a lot at home.

Well, start peeling.

Here?

- Well, it's not a take-home test. - Yes, sir.

You? Any experience?

I worked at Bubble Burger in Columbus, Ohio

all through high school.

I started out as onion girl.

Then I was Bubble Burger collator. And last summer I was promoted-

Uh, you finished?

I think so.

Oh, my goodness, girl!

I told you to peel it, not torture it.

Bubble Burger, now you got a job.

Now, be here in the morning at seven o'clock.

And wear a hairnet.

I don't want hairs running all loose in my kitchen.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

You forgot about me, sir.

Oh, no, I didn't.

Go over to buildings and grounds.

They're looking for people to prune trees with saws.

And you'll like that.

Biochemistry.

Well, please, let me give you my bio,

because we definitely have the chemistry.

- Oh, do we? - Yes, we do.

You could be the acid to my base, baby.

And if you want proof, tonight at Alpha House,

there's a beach party. 9:30.

Mm. Well, maybe.

- Maybe? - Yeah. Maybe I'll see you there.

Maybe?

Bring all your elements, baby.

Hey, partner.

Ron-o, let's hit the books,

because in a few hours, I have a chance for a little spontaneous combustion.

Let the research begin.

Let the research end.

What are you talking about?

Behold. Our papier, se�or.

Huh.

"Immanuel Kant: Political Lamb In A Wolf's World."

- My boy, my partner. You wrote this? - No.

I let my dinero do the writing.

Now, you and I can hang out, catch a flick, slam a few dunks,

and still have enough time to get into our nattiest attire for the beach party.

Ron, are you telling me you bought this paper?

You catch on fast.

I even spent an extra five bucks for an "A."

Personally, I would've been satisfied with a "C,"

but I know how picky you are.

Are you buggin'? We can get kicked out of school for this.

If they caught us.

But this paper is vintage, ten years old.

Dr. Mason only started teaching here eight years ago.

When Ron Johnson does his research, he does his research.

Ron Johnson is a bucket-head!

Shh!

I spend my money so we can hang out, and this is the thanks I get?

What "we" are we talking about? About me and you, or you and what's her face?

Oh!

Jealousy rears its pointy green head.

Me, jealous of you?

Wake up, Muttley, you're dreaming again.

You have every right to be.

I have a woman, you have Immanuel Kant.

I could've had a date tonight

if I didn't have you for my doofus research partner.

- Doofus? - Doofus.

And because of your dooficity,

we have to stay here, stay up half the night, miss out on the party,

and do the work that you didn't do.

"Didn't do"? Do you know how far I drove to get this paper?

Unbelievable. I had my chance.

I could've worked with someone who's actually read a book,

and not just looked at the pictures.

- Oh, is that so? - Yes.

Instead, I get stuck with someone whose idea of an intellectual challenge

is spelling his name in alphabet soup.

Whoa, whoa, this can't be my best friend talking.

Yes, it is. Listen up.

I don't even know who you are. What happened to the Dwayne Wayne

that snuck a dead rat out of the lab,

so that I could dissect it in my room and not flunk biology?

- And you still flunked. - That's not the point!

The point is, when people complained about the funk,

you covered by saying you were suffering from athlete's foot.

That was beautiful. That was friendship.

That was me covering for you as usual, and it's played out.

- Oh, is it? - Yes.

Let me tell you something.

If you see the real Dwayne Wayne, tell him his best friend is looking for him.

Dwayne, take it easy.

- What's going on? - Nothing.

Nothing. Which is exactly what's between that boy's ears. Nothing.

What did he do now?

Ron Johnson doesn't have a serious bone in his whole body.

And if he does, it's buried way beneath that fat in the back of his head.

You know you're talking about your best friend.

Oh, what a prize.

The national poster boy for irresponsibility?

Jaleesa, if there is a short, stupid way

to get from Point A to Point B, he's on it.

Forgive me. But isn't that a road that you two usually travel together?

Not anymore.

Well, then, just find yourself a new best friend.

Where am I going to find somebody who knows me�

�like Ron does.

He knows me.

And I'm complex.

Last year, he knew how I felt about Denise even before I did,

and he never told a soul.

It was a well-kept secret.

He's got potential,

but somewhere between his mind and his mouth, it gets lost.

All I know is, just now, you were pretty rough on him.

Rough?

"You don't read, you just look at the pictures"?

"Can't even spell your name in alphabet soup"?

I've said worse to him.

But just now, it sounded like you meant it, Dwayne.

I was just making a point.

All right, uh, I meant it. I didn't mean all of it, though.

Whether you meant it or not, maybe Ron is tired of listening to it.

I mean, I know I would be.

You are always pushing the guy around. And you always get your way.

So you're saying I should do things Ron's way, even if stupid and wrong?

Do you want your friend back or not?

Yes.

- Thanks. - Okay.

No, Mom, I'm not saying you call too much.

I'm just saying you don't have to call every day.

Okay. Tomorrow, I'll call you.

Love you, too. Bye-bye.

Still job hunting, I see.

How's it going?

Are you all right?

What is this big deal about experience?

They're obsessed with it.

If you can already do everything, you might as well be the boss.

Freddie, you've only been looking for two days.

I'm never looking for another job as long as I live.

Ever.

- Don't you want to know why? - Yeah.

Because I'm unqualified in every way known to man.

Come on now. You're being too hard on yourself.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

I got turned down at the library, the school paper, health services.

Freddie, rejection is a part of job hunting.

Copy center, buildings and grounds, laundry services,

the Pit, and custodial services.

Humiliation is also a part of job hunting.

I've never heard the word "no" so many times in my entire life.

It's like there's this campus-wide campaign going, "Just say no to Freddie."

I guess the only thing for you to do, is to call your parents

and tell them you want to come home.

I can't do that.

I did that last week.

Freddie, you are not the first girl in the world to be turned down for a job.

Do you think I got the first job I applied for?

Yes.

Okay, I did.

But because I saw a job I wanted, and I went after it.

I became a pest at Bubble Burger. I got to know everybody.

Even gave them suggestions for their special sauce.

No place I went to had a special sauce.

You know what I'm talking about.

Kim, I can't go back out there.

Yes, you can.

Maybe without that flowered dress�

but you can.

Now, think. Think.

What job did you want most?

Where did you feel most comfortable? Who was the most receptive?

Mr. Gaines.

Hey, you mind if I join you?

No law against it.

Where's Noel?

Don't know.

Sometimes a man needs to just be alone.

Just him and his pain.

Look, um, I've been thinking about it, and I decided,

since you shelled out the cash, we should use the paper.

Besides, I read it and it's not half bad.

- You mean it? - Yeah, I mean it.

I still think it's stupid and wrong,

but, uh, the paper's due Monday. We don't have much choice.

Besides, you're my man.

Yes, I am.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Well, since we don't have any work, let's do what you said.

Let's catch that flick before the beach party.

Yeah.

After, we'll go over to Ray-Nay's Ribs and get the deluxe slab.

- Like we used to. - Man stuff.

I love it.

Wait a minute. We can't have any ribs on an empty stomach.

You want something from there?

I'll have a large order of whatever you're having. My appetite is back.

- Go ahead with your bad self. - That's my buddy.

- Hey, Whitley. - Hi, Dwayne.

Hello, Ronaldus.

Whitley.

Charisse and I finished our paper for Dr. Mason,

a full two days before the deadline.

And it is profound, if I do say so myself.

I think it's even more profound the two of you didn't kill each other.

I will admit, the girl is rough-hewn,

but her utter lack of grace is made up for by her intellect.

I am more than confident that our little opus will garner an "A."

I wonder how the cocoa is today?

"Immanuel Kant"?

"Political Lamb In A Wolf's World"? Wait a minute!

- Hey, I'm thinking, after the ribs- - Forget the ribs.

We are barbecued!

- What are you talking about? - This.

The dude double-crossed me.

He� he sold Whitley the same paper he sold me.

What?

If we hand this in, we'll get suspended. Kicked out. K-O!

You couldn't go to a guy who sold one-of-a-kind papers

No, you had to go to the international house of papers.

This is awful. But we can't panic. We have to come up with a plan.

A plan. I say we�

I say we write the paper.

- What about the beach party? - Are you crazy?

We have work to do.

Work. Lots of it! Where are your notes?

- Somewhere. - Well, go somewhere and find them.

Well, what about my French fries?

You can get some at the library. Let's go.

Mr. Gaines?

Don't bother me. I'm in the Everglades.

Please, sir.

Oh, you.

Now you know I have high blood pressure.

I'm here about the dishwashing job.

Oh, my�

But I've a lot of experience.

I've been doing dishes after dinner since I was 14.

Now, that's a lot of broken china.

Sir, I've decided I want this job.

The position has been filled, miss.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

- Mr. Gaines? - Yes.

I just want you to know that I'm going to be a pest until you hire me.

Well, now, isn't that nice?

She's going to be a pest.

Well, I'm going to buy me a boat, take it down to the Everglades.

It's easier wrestling with crocodiles than fighting with these children.

Lack of sleep really sensitizes your senses.

This room is vibrant.

Call me "Exhausted Incorporated."

I still feel my title is zippier.

I am not putting my name on anything called "The Joy of Plato."

It's a play on The Joy of Cooking,

which is appropriate, because Plato is giving us

his recipe for good government.

What? Wait a minute.

Excuse me. What's your title?

"Plato's Republic: A Critical Study."

What happened to Immanuel Kant?

He died. 1804. Look it up.

I'm talking about the paper you and Whitley bought,

the paper she had at the Pit on Friday?

Friday? We just finished our paper last night. Get some sleep, homeboy.

Whitley, what gives? You had a paper on Immanuel Kant.

Why, Ronaldus,

I haven't the vaguest idea what you're talking about.

Do I, Dwayne?

Hey, man, you set me up.

We wrote this for nothing?

You looking for your old partner, Dwayne Wayne?

He's back.

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