Original subtitles

? I know my parents loved me ?

? Stand behind me Come what may ?

? I know now that I'm ready ?

? Because I finally heard them say ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? Here's a chance to make it ?

? If we focus on our goal ?

? If you dish it, we can take it ?

? Just remember you've been told ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

? It's a different world ?

? From where you come from ?

What are you doing?

I'm trying to decide what to wear.

And must you decide all over my bed?

Well, my bed's too high.

I guess you might as well go on.

You're already using my side of the closet.

You know, if we lived in Japan, this would never happen.

What?

In psych class, we've been learning about "body buffer zones"?

And in Japan, two families could share a room this size and never complain.

That's because they don't have Denise dumping her kimonos all over their futons.

No, no, it's because they've learned to live with less personal space.

Do you know, in Finland, entire neighborhoods shower together,

and in France, men and women share the same restrooms.

Big deal, Maggie. We've been doing the same thing in Brooklyn for years.

Well, all I'm saying is that all over the world, people share their space,

but in America, we're these "space guzzlers."

I, for one, am going to stop being a "space guzzler."

Good, then Denise can use your closet space.

Not that kind of space.

This kind of space.

Maggie, what are you doing?

I'm showing you it's okay to share your "body buffer zone."

Gee, great, Maggie.

Well, got to go.

Maggie!

Girls�

no need to dance with yourselves any longer.

There's a guy downstairs, he wants to drive Denise to class.

Well, I will go take up less space somewhere else.

Ooh, it's Kent Riley III.

One would have been enough.

Don't worry about it, I'll take care of this.

Hello, Kent?

She transferred! Bye!

Thanks, Jaleesa.

Aw, he seems kind of cute.

Yeah, well, the guys around here are so immature.

All they care about is what you look like.

And how quickly they can see more of it.

- Okay. - Well, Denise, it was a date.

I haven't gone out in, um, two years.

Two years?

Six years, if you count my marriage.

I know how you feel.

Oh, I am scared of you girls.

You're going to class like that?

What, do I have to dress for geology?

Well, not for geology.

For Professor Gumm's replacement.

Byron Walcott.

He's cute, he's single, and he has his own teeth.

How can you resist?

I don't care what he looks like, it's still 50 minutes of rocks.

He's coming.

Hello.

I'm Professor Byron Walcott.

As you know, Professor Gumm

had an unfortunate accident in Yellowstone.

So remember, if you're on a field trip,

there's really no such thing as an inactive geyser.

So�

I'm glad to see all you budding rock hounds.

So, tell me, what brings you to geology 119?

Oh, um�

Well, I've always felt that science was so unladylike.

All those beakers and old bones.

Then I heard about your class,

and I felt, well, maybe a woman's silly resistance

could be broken down by a truly powerful man.

I see.

And how about you?

Oh, um�

Well�

I�

�always liked to collect rocks as a kid,

so, um,

now I have the opportunity to enjoy them as an adult.

By any chance, are you here to fulfill your science requirement?

Well��yeah.

So you think geology is pretty boring, don't you?

I didn't say that.

That's all right.

'Cause I'm here to change all that.

By the end of this course, you will know stalactites,

stalagmites, glaciers, oceans, volcanoes,

just as well as you know the furniture in your own living room.

Oh, well, I have to tell you,

I've gone to the Grand Canyon every summer with my family,

and I would have much preferred to stay in my own living room.

Let me ask you this.

Have you ever taken a paper airplane and thrown it over the edge?

No.

My dad did.

It was a long way down.

Well, if you follow that paper airplane on its flight,

you can read the entire history of the Earth,

everything that's ever happened to this planet in those rocks.

Wow. I never looked at it like that.

All you need is the knowledge and a little imagination.

Of course, to some people, it will never be anything more than a long way down.

Hi. Dwayne Wayne.

Uh, Mr. Wayne, I don't seem to have you down here,

and as you can see, there are no more seats.

That's okay. I don't mind standing. The view from here is beautiful.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry, but this section is closed.

Closed? But I already dropped my women's studies class for this.

Sorry.

Hi.

Hi.

"Fossils: Nature's Hieroglyphs."

- Is this to help you sleep? - No.

I didn't realize how interesting geology could be.

Oh, he's that cute, huh?

That is not the point, okay?

It is really interesting.

Take the Grand Canyon, for example.

Did you know, with a little imagination, a little knowledge,

that you can see the entire history of the Earth

in the flight of a paper airplane?

Denise, you hate the Grand Canyon.

You said that those were the worst family vacations you ever had.

Jaleesa, that was because Professor Walcott was not there.

I mean, the way the man teaches,

he makes you feel like you're the only person in the room.

He looks at you and you want to learn more.

Professor Schmidt did that to me with statistics.

He unlocked the mysteries of standard deviations.

Right, Maggie.

The motion to adjourn last week's dorm meeting

was made by Maggie Lauten.

The motion was passed, and the meeting came to an end at 8:17.

Thank you, Whitley.

Okay, Jaleesa, what's next?

Um, new business.

Ladies, we are now faced with the exciting task

of picking this month's movie.

Oh, I vote for something romantic.

Like the one starring the Moores, Dudley and Mary Tyler,

where she pulls a few strings

to get her daughter to dance in the Nutcracker,

and afterwards, the poor thing dies of leukemia in the subway.

Give me a break, Whitley.

How about something like

Journey To The Center Of The Earth?

Why, Denise,

apparently, someone has journeyed to the center of your heart.

Well, you've got to admit, Professor Walcott is cute.

"Cute"?

The man is fine.

I wouldn't go that far.

He's got a great smile and I liked his suit.

I'm sorry, but it's what's in the suit.

You know, I cannot believe you!

Professor Walcott is a brilliant scientist and geologist,

and all you can say is, "He's fine. I like his suit"?

Well, I think it's a nice suit.

Sounds like some of you were taking

Professor Walcott's class for the wrong reasons.

They are not only taking it, they are wearing high-heeled shoes to it

at 9:00 a.m.

You know, just because he's a terrific guy,

does that mean he's not a great teacher?

See, I told you he was fine.

I understand you have eyes and this man is attractive,

but do you want to get this worked up

over a man that can give you a grade?

That depends on what he's grading�

and whether he's marking on the curve.

Curve or no curve, Whitley,

Professor Walcott is one of the toughest teachers at Hillman.

Have any of you taken a close look at his syllabus?

No, but we'd certainly like to.

? Don't know much about history ?

? Don't know much biology ?

? Don't know much about a science book ?

? Don't know much about The French I took ?

? But I do know that I love you ?

? And I know that if you love me, too ?

? What a wonderful world this would be ?

? Don't know much about geography ?

? Don't know much of trigonometry ?

? Don't know much about algebra ?

? Don't know what a slide rule is for ?

? But I do know one and one is two ?

? And if this one could be with you ?

? What a wonderful world this would be ?

Uh�

What are you doing?

Um�

I'm trying to reduce my "body buffer zone."

You know, the personal space around my body.

Well, it appears as though you're reducing mine.

Well, that's the point.

You see, I think that we all need to share our space in this world.

Um� For example,

does this make you feel uncomfortable?

Uh, please don't take this personally, but yes.

- But this doesn't, right? - Maggie.

Professor Walcott.

You're Professor Walcott?

Nice suit!

Bye.

Uh, that's my roommate. She's very intense about her studies.

I'm sure.

I found this rock by the pond. I was going to come look it up�

but maybe you could, uh, help me out.

Well, judging from it's texture, color, and weight,

I'd have to say that this is cement.

Oh. It is.

Well, you wouldn't want this for your rock collection.

- No, I'd kinda like to have it. - You would?

Yes, it will remind me of the moment when a bored student became a rock hound.

You mean "cement hound."

The first piece of rock I ever picked up,

I identified it as limestone.

It was actually sandstone.

It's a geology joke.

It's funny.

You must have some rock collection.

Well, actually, they're in storage until I find a bigger place.

Oh, that's right, you just moved from California.

I'm from New York myself.

- Have you ever been there? - No.

- Not yet. - You've got to come up sometime.

It's really great. I'd love to show you around.

I mean, um, my parents and I would love to show you around.

They love visitors.

Did you know that the island of Manhattan is one large chunk of solid granite?

Oh, I live in Brooklyn.

But we could take the subway to Manhattan.

It cuts right through that granite.

Denise?

Could I speak to Professor Walcott for a moment?

Oh, sure, Stevie.

See you in class, Professor.

Miss Rallen.

You know, you are a very attractive man.

Ah, thank you.

And I have a house full of impressionable girls

who are taking your class for reasons other than their love of geology.

No matter. I've managed to capture their imagination.

You've managed to capture a great deal more than that.

I'm here to teach, not to titillate,

and you obviously can't tell the difference.

Professor Walcott, I know you-

Miss Rallen, you hardly know me,

and frankly, I'd like to keep it that way.

Ooh, Byron, you old dog, you!

Denise! Maggie!

Denise, Mag-

Whitley!

Just who I was looking for.

Dwayne, how nice to see you.

Do shut the door on your way out.

Ooh, you hurt me. You� you hurt me.

But do you know what hurts me even more?

Seeing high-heeled women such as yourself

under the thumb of a man who is lying to you.

That hurts me.

Surely you're not referring to Professor Walcott.

Byron?

That's right.

The man has got another woman on his string.

He's dogging all of you.

Well, I can assure you

that my interest in Professor Walcott is purely academic.

Who was the Jezebel?

Your dorm director, Stevie Rallen.

I saw them getting on each other's cases in the library.

And when they touched�

Ooh, fire!

Denise, forget about him. The man is no good for you.

What are you talking about?

Dwayne, I think this requires a woman's touch.

Well�

Denise, Professor Byron Walcott is seeing Stevie Rallen.

What?

They had a lovers' quarrel in the library.

- That's right. - Apparently, they are a passionate couple.

It's the truth.

As I understand it, he accused her of toying with his affections.

Well, I-

And the upshot of it was she hauled off and slapped him.

"Slapped him"?

Would I lie?

You could hear it clear across the room.

Well, bye-bye, Denise.

I'll see you in geology, bright and early in the morning.

Denise, can't you see the hand of fate drawing us closer?

This was meant to be.

- Dwayne� - Maybe not now.

He has my cement.

Hi, Denise.

Professor Walcott.

Did you know that the pavement outside of Gilbert Hall is made of shale?

Shale. Of course.

I've noticed lots of shale around campus. You know, there is�

There is a great outcropping by the cafeteria.

- Really? - Yeah.

You must show me sometime.

Oh, I'd like that.

I'd like that, too.

Is Miss Rallen here?

Who?

Oh. Oh.

Stevie.

Um�

No, no, she's not here. Can I help you?

Well, I kinda wanted to talk to her in person.

I wanted to give her this. It's sort of a peace offering.

Oh, that's nice.

Collected any good specimens lately?

Um�

No, I haven't had much luck.

Well, I'll see you in class.

See you.

I guess he was a rolling stone, huh?

So, we've seen how great forces can squeeze humble carbons

into precious diamonds.

A glittering tribute to beauty and love through the ages.

Yes?

I just think it's wonderful that there's a course

that acknowledges an indispensable natural resource�

gems.

I don't know if I agree with your priorities, but thank you.

Now, who can tell us the common name for crystalline aluminum oxide?

Denise?

I'm sorry, I didn't hear the question.

The common name for crystalline aluminum oxide?

I didn't do the reading.

I see.

Well, that's about it for today.

Denise, may I speak to you for a moment?

Is there anything I can help you with?

Not anymore.

I just wanted to know, because I know you've taken on a difficult course

and I'd like to see you do well.

You got off to a great start.

Yeah, well, I think it was the wrong start.

Oh?

Yeah, remember when you were talking about, um� about fool's gold?

Yes.

Yeah, well, it's like that.

You know, I thought I saw something precious that I could have,

and it wasn't what I thought it was.

What are you talking about?

You. I'm talking about you.

- Oh, but- You didn't think that I- - Yes, I did.

I did. I don't anymore, but�

Oh, God, I feel like a fool.

You shouldn't.

Fool's gold is what you find when you're panning for the real thing.

Thanks.

Denise�

can I keep the cement?

Sure.

Oh, by the way, the answer is rubies.

Now, we're transforming into the Starfleet chopper!

Now we're transforming into tired and dizzy.

Hello?

Professor Walcott, right. Who is this?

Professor Walcott.

It's really you.

Hi. It's Denise.

I'm� I'm baby-sitting.

Oh, you wanted to come over and see Stevie. I don't know, um�

She'll be home soon.

In fact, um, she told me to tell anyone who wanted to come over�

uh�

she would be home soon,

and just� and just to come now.

You will?

Great!

Bye.

I just got a gallon of marshmallow almond crunch,

some jiffy pop and a TV guide.

Tonight is ugly night.

I just kick off my shoes, watch some Miami Vice, and get fat.

- I'll get the spoons! - Okay.

Stevie, um, you can't do that, not tonight.

- Why not? - Because you have a guest coming.

It's a man.

So is Phillip Michael Thomas, but he doesn't care

whether my shoes are on or off.

- He's on his way over here. Right now! - Who?

- Who? - Byron Walcott.

He's coming here? To see you?

- No, to see you. - I don't want to see him.

- Yeah, but I told him you did. - Why?

Because he was fool's gold to me, but he could be real gold to you.

Could you explain that to me? I flunked geology.

Look-

Uh�

You get the door, I'll put the groceries away.

Sorry to disturb you so late,

but Denise said this would be a good time to drop by?

Oh, I'm sorry,

but my son is sleeping now.

Mommy! Mommy!

Denise said we could eat the ice cream in her room.

He has insomnia.

Hi, Professor. If you'll excuse me, I have a hot date with J.T. tonight.

Denise, you don't have to do this.

Oh, sure I do. I love marshmallow almond crunch.

Me, too.

- Okay. - Good night.

- Maybe this isn't such a good time. - Oh, no, I have a sitter� now.

But why do you want Professor Walcott and Stevie to get together?

Mm, because Byron was� �my one life's crush

since Bobby Fontana hit me over the head with his dump truck.

I worshipped this kid. He came over to our house every day.

Well, what happened then?

Well�

In the end, all he was interested in was my sandbox.

Oh, that's so sad.

I got over it, though, don't worry.

Oh, Bobby Fontana?

No, Professor Walcott.

I mean�

What we had was a fantasy,

but him and Stevie, they could be real.

You know, this is like a Tale of Two Cities.

"It's a far, far better thing you do, Denise,

than you have ever done."

Besides, those rocks were heavy.

What are you doing?

I'm sharing your space.

J.T. has mine.

Ow.

You space guzzler!

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