Original subtitles

-Yeah, suzanne, I have a new dress

For our double date tonight!

Ah, dinner and dancing!

Gonna see the new year in in style!

Adult mark (v.O.): New year's eve 1990.

The dawn of a new decade.

And yet for most things,

It was still same old, same old.

Mary: Oh, yeah!

Mike is over the moon about it!

You should see his face! [giggles]

Bye, girl.

[hangs up phone]

Ah! A new year's eve out!

I can't believe I gets to be all dolled up.

-I can't believe I gotta stay up till midnight.

-Aw.

-Don't you mean after midnight? Or are you gonna fall asleep

As soon as the countdown finishes?

-[sighs] packin' '90s!

Pop: Hey, look at this!

-Geez!

-I found this under my bed!

-Good god, give me that!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey!

It's an age-old new year's tradition!

You know, you fire the gun off twice at midnight

To drive out the old year and bring in the new.

-That's not safe in this day and age.

-It probably wasn't safe in any day and age!

-Oh, god, you are a lot of softies.

Eat your vegetables this, don't play with guns that.

Well, look, I'm gonna fire this gun off the porch

Like we used to when mike was little.

Pop: The kids loved it!

Everyone loved it!

[gunshot]

[reloading]

[baby starts crying]

-Little mike!

[gunshot]

[glass shatters]

[exhales]

Man: Our window!

-You know, maybe I'll let you fire it this year.

-Sorry, pop, but me and fox are going to ritche's.

They have real fireworks!

-Hm. Fine.

I guess it's down to little mike, then.

-Oh, mike is dj'ing the dance.

-Oh, you mean...

I'm gonna be alone on new year's?

-Oh, I could stay home with ya!

-You're going!

-Oh, well.

Well...

Ah, I see how it is, then.

Well, more gun for me.

?

-I can't believe it's gonna be a whole new decade.

-Yeah, the next time this happens, we'll be 25.

-Man, that's old!

Adult mark (v.O.): It was going to be my first new year's eve

Spent with friends instead of family.

[party chatter]

-This champagne is excellent.

-I believe it is a 1989.

-'89?

That was so last year!

[posh laughter]

Mark: Cheers. Ritche: Cheers.

-Time for the countdown.

Find someone to kiss.

-Ah...

Mon amour .

-I'm not going.

-You have to come!

-No, I don't.

-There's gonna be fireworks.

-I have to babysit so my mom and her dumb boyfriend

Can go to that dance.

But... You can come over.

I mean, once my brother's asleep, it'll be just us.

And I scored a copy of nightmare on elm street .

Adult mark (v.O.): It was the first time I had to choose

Between plans with my best friend

And plans with my girlfriend.

How was I ever going to choose?

Ritche: You should go.

-Huh? Really?

-Yeah.

It's a great movie.

-Well, then, I accept.

Manager: Hey!

You yakking on the clock with your friends?

-No.

-Oh, no, not at all.

Uh, we are actually in the market for a mug

And simply asking this lovely young lady's opinion.

So, do you like this one?

Says, "lordy, lordy, look who's 40."

Or, uh, this one, which says, uh,

"federal body inspector"...

-Mm. Get out of my store.

-Yeah.

Manager: Yeah.

Yeah.

-You sure you don't mind me hanging out with fox?

-Dude, you seriously don't know why she invited you over?

Babysitting is code for wanting s-e-x.

That's sex!

-What?!

No way! Fox wouldn't do that.

-I've seen it in literally every movie

I'm not supposed to watch.

You should buy a johnny!

-A what ?!

-A rubber?

A french safe?

A party hat?

-What...

-[sighs]

[quietly] a condom.

-I can't buy a... A you-know-what!

Look, I'm catholic, okay?

Nothing's happening tonight except an r-rated movie,

And if I'm lucky, some shoulder snoozing, okay?

-You've been her boyfriend for months.

You're gonna let her down if you chicken out.

Come on...

Do you want to be the worst boyfriend ever?

No?

So let's go buy a condom.

Adult mark (v.O.): I was freaked out by safe sex.

Men in my family didn't exactly have the best safety record.

[metal clinking]

-Ah, pssht. Leave it.

-Okay.

[under his breath] oh my god.

-You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

It's all a normal part of life.

-So come with me, then.

-No way!

You got it.

[items clattering into basket]

[elevator music playing]

[sneaky music]

[mark breathing nervously]

Um...

[exhales]

Um...

Okay.

[cash register buttons beeping]

-Uh, c-c-could I also get, um...

-Prophylactic?

-No.

Uh...

One condom, please?

-One box.

-You don't sell 'em by the each?

-No. -[places box on counter]

-Right. Uh, one- one box.

Um...

[buttons beeping]

[plastic bag rustling]

-It's for health class.

-Uh-huh.

-[buttons beeping] -$31.36.

-Okay.

[chuckles nervously]

[cash register opens]

[coins jingling]

?

Mark: So, that's it?

You're- you're not gonna stop me?

I'm an impressionable youth

About to make a major life decision!

-Little buddy...

You ain't never gonna use that thing.

-[exhales] -[bag rustling]

-Next!

Mrs. Percy...

-How many did you get?

Mark: Hey.

-I suckered paul into leaving pizza money.

Oh, and they left his pager number on the fridge

In case of "emergencies,"

So we can prank call him pretty much non-stop after the movie.

Baby fox: Keep your hands off me sister.

-Hey! You better not snitch on me.

-You're not me mudder.

[dramatic music]

-Uh... -It's fine.

[noisemaker tooting]

["karma chameleon" by culture club playing]

-Welcome again to the bella vista new year's bash!

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999!

[crowd cheering]

-Well, y'know, 1990!

[laughter]

[suzanne giggling]

-Oh, mary!

Look at you! Oh, my god!

-Oh... -Mmm, mmm!

-Oh, my...

-Come here. Muah, muah!

Suzanne: You look beautiful. [giggles]

Paul: Sorry we're late, guys.

Got a last-minute offer, but...

You can't take a day off when you're the boss.

Am I right?

Suzanne: [giggles] he's always workin'!

-Good god, these prices!

-Well, this is a three-course prix fixe menu, mike.

-Do they have a one-course priced reasonable menu?

-[giggles]

Waiter: Uh, no, sir.

It's new year's.

-Heh.

I'll have the steak frites.

Waiter: Very good. Medium rare?

-Uh...

Yes, yeah.

-He'll have it well done, no pepper.

?

Mike jr: Oh, uh...

-What's up?

-If my parents see us, they might tell dick.

-Oh.

So...

Should we just play like we're platonic booth buddies?

[chuckles]

-Yeah.

Just until the coast is clear.

Which, knowing my dad...

Ah, two minutes after midnight.

Reporter (tv): What's gonna happen in the future?

-I think everyone will have their own robot

And flying cars .

Adult mark (v.O.): Everyone was talking about

The next ten years, but I was sure

I'd die of a heart attack in the next ten minutes.

[tv playing in background]

-Out like a light.

Come on.

-I'm...

I'm pretty comfy here.

It's a really nice couch.

Sears?

-We can't watch it here. He might wake up.

Let's just... Go to my room.

-Uh...

Your, your bed... Room?

-Mm-hm.

-[whimpers nervously]

-You okay? You look like you're gonna hurl.

-Yeah.

I'm just...

I'm just gonna go... Fre- freshen up.

-Okay...

Here.

Pfft.

Adult mark (v.O.): It was the moment of truth.

-[sighs]

[sneaky music]

?

-" ouvrez soigneusement l'emballage "...?

What does that mean?!

?

?

Adult mark (v.O.): Sex ed at catholic school

Consisted of one sentence: "don't do it."

Two sentences if you included "or else."

-[under his breath] oh, my god...

Uh...

-[latex snaps] -[gasps]

?

[sighs]

?

?

[sighs]

[water pours out]

[exhales]

-You good to go?

-Huh?

-Don't worry, I'll hold your hand for the scary parts.

-Look, I'm sorry, but I can't do this!

I'm not just a piece of meat! Okay? I have feelings.

-Freddy krueger's not gonna jump out of the screen, wuss!

-Wait... What did- what did you say?

Adult mark (v.O.): Ritche was wrong.

Never base major life decisions off 1980s sex comedies.

-What's that?

-No, it's nothing. Just...

-No, what is it? -No, no...

-Oh my god! What...

You wanted to have sex with me?!

-No!

No, no, I didn't!

Of course I- of course-

Well, I do.

I don't!

I don't! I didn't!

I-I don't!

Adult mark (v.O.): There was no correct response.

-You bought a whole box!

What did you think was gonna happen here?!

-They don't sell them by the each!

And ritche said you were expecting sex!

-You talked to ritche about this instead of me?

[mischievous music]

?

[dial tone]

[dialling]

[upbeat 1980s pop music]

-How was the steak, mike?

-Uh, it was good and grey.

-You know, you really should get invested

In the property game so you can go out like this more often.

There's this fantastic new development;

It's called strawberry tree estates.

-Strawberries don't grow on trees.

-It's a metaphor.

-We're not really looking to get involved

In any fruit-related property right now.

-Well, a little house for yourselves, then!

I mean, prices are going up and up;

Suze tells me you don't own yet; and mary here, I mean...

Doesn't mary deserve her own home?

Like, I mean, what are you waitin' for?

-We may not own a house, but we certainly have a home.

-Bleh.

-Alright, let's get those feet movin'!

Here's a little something-something

To get you all on the dance floor!

[upbeat song begins]

-Ooh, let's cut a rug!

-You wanna boogie, baby? -Yeah!

[pager beeping]

Paul: Oh, hang on, suze.

It's your number.

-Uh, we'll be right back.

-Think about it.

-We can go if you're not having fun.

-Ah, the company's nice.

When it's just us.

-Does that mean I get one last dance in the '80s?

[upbeat music playing]

[people cheering]

?

["the first noel" playing on tv]

-[sighs]

[grumbles]

[switches tv off]

[sighs]

[grumbles]

Suzanne: Ahem!

That was my little one.

Fox and mark have him locked out of her bedroom.

-What?!

Move!

Excuse me! Excuse me!

?

[soft, reflective music]

-[chuckles lightly]

Hm...

?

?

-Mike's finally asleep.

?

Mike jr: How about we slow things down

For all the lovebirds out there?

? when the bells all ring and the horns all blow ?

? and the couples we know are fondly kissing ?

? will I be with you ?

? or will I be among the missing? ?

?

-I love this song.

? maybe it's much too early in the game ?

? ah, but I thought I'd... ?

-I...

I just didn't wanna let you down.

-I'm not ready yet.

Are you?

-No.

-So...

Who cares what anyone else says, then?

Let's just do things our own way.

? ...Will hold you good and tight ?

? when it's exactly 12 o'clock that night ?

? welcoming in the new year... ?

[crowd cheering on tv]

-There's plenty of time for other stuff, but...

How about a new year's kiss?

-I could work with that.

? maybe I'm crazy to suppose ?

? I'd ever be the one you chose ?

? out of a thousand invitations

You received ?

?

? ah, but in case I stand one little chance ?

? here comes the jackpot question in advance ?

-? what are you doing... ? -[gunshot]

? new year's... ?

[music stops abruptly]

[crowd on tv cheering]

-[gasps]

Mary: Oh...!

You little frigger!

Mike sr: If you think you're gonna see January 2nd...

-[sighs]

Baby fox: Good thing you got here.

I was about to be a uncle.

-[all gasp] -oh, what...

You go wait in your room for me, okay, baby?

Here you are, judging me for wanting a boyfriend.

And this... This is what you're at?

-No, it wasn't like that!

-Don't be mad at her. We weren't gonna do anything!

-[laughs scornfully]

-A box?!

How many times are you planning on doing it, ya dirty shagger?!

-They don't sell 'em by the each!

-I'm so sorry. This is-

-Suzanne...

You need to start controlling your kids.

Mark: We were only kissing! That's it!

-That is enough outta you for the rest of your life!

Fox: Stop...

Mary: Mike!

[soft, mysterious music]

-There you are.

You comin' to bed, pat?

I've been waitin' for you.

-I've missed you, katie.

[poignant music]

?

-Hm...

Hmph.

-We were just gonna watch a movie.

You can trust me, mom. I... I promise.

-[sighs]

I know that, love. I...

It's the boys I don't trust.

[chuckles]

You're smart.

And you could have a better life than me.

And I don't want anyone taking that away from you.

-How's this?

Anyone tries and I'll kick 'em in the dick.

-[laughs] now, that is a deal.

-Mm-hm?

Adult mark (v.O.): While fox and her mom

Were smoothing things over their way,

My family was doing it our way.

-Never been so bloody mortified!

-I wasn't gonna do anything!

-You bought a box of condoms, ya liar!

-French ones!

-Ritche saw it in a movie!

-Oh, if ritche jumped off a cliff,

Would you wanna have sex with it too?!

[gunshot]

-Can you just stop bickering?

My god, can't you appreciate each other for once,

While we're all still here?

I mean, can you just do that?

Happy new year.

-Happy new year...?

-Go to bed, mark.

We'll sort you out in the morning.

-[sighs]

-[sighs]

Oh... [whimpers]

-I know.

?

Adult mark (v.O.): Time may March on predictably,

But our relationships have to follow their own rhythm.

[soft, reflective music]

?

Adult mark (v.O.): Every bond is special in its own way.

?

Adult mark (v.O.): Be it one of romantic love...

?

Adult mark (v.O.): Family love...

?

Adult mark (v.O.): Or even lost love.

It's not the passage of time or the dates on a calendar

That shape who we become,

But the moments we share with those we cherish.

-Hm.

?

Adult mark (v.O.): In the end, it's not the years,

But the seconds.

-Ah.

?

?

?

?

?

?

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