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1
00:00:00,193 --> 00:00:03,837
Adult mark (v.O.): At heart,
I was a man of leisure .
2
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:06,371
And nothing said leisure
like a long weekend.
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,640
-Bit late in the day
to be lazing about
4
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:09,789
In pyjamas, isn't it?
5
00:00:09,790 --> 00:00:11,611
-It's a long weekend.
I have zero commitments.
6
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:12,678
I'm on "me time."
7
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,447
-Well, wind your watch
'cause you missed breakfast.
8
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:15,982
-How 'bout an
early lunch, then?
9
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,183
-[sighs]
10
00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,151
-Do you want it cut
thick or thin?
11
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,087
-I'm on vacation.
Let's go with thick.
12
00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:25,590
Pop: Look at lazarus,
risen from the dead.
13
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:26,792
Oh... Ooh!
14
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,793
Is that, uh, early lunch?
15
00:00:28,794 --> 00:00:29,596
-Thick or thin?
16
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,997
-Thin.
I had a late breakfast.
17
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,565
Good news, everyone!
18
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,403
My moose license
finally got here!
19
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,672
-Sure, they took away
your driver's license.
20
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,207
-Yes, well, uh, listen,
I'd like to invite you
21
00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:43,875
To go "shares" with me.
22
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,077
-Oh, no...
23
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,679
I am not taking you
moose hunting!
24
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,580
I got a life.
25
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,314
What did a moose ever do to you?
26
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,516
-Oh, hypocrite!
27
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:52,685
How do you think that bologna
got on your plate?
28
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,921
-I don't think you can
get a bologna license, pop.
29
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:55,822
[front door opens]
30
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,356
Pop: [grumbles]
don't be so cocky.
31
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:58,987
-Jeez, mary,
bit late in the day
32
00:00:58,988 --> 00:01:00,493
To be having breakfast,
isn't it?
33
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:01,793
-Rabbits!
-Yeah!
34
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:04,863
-I haven't had a feed of rabbits
since I was a girl!
35
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:08,567
-Oh, yes, well, if he kills it,
of course it's fine.
36
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,703
-Hey, mark, you should
come check my snares
37
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:11,754
With me sometime.
38
00:01:11,755 --> 00:01:13,740
-Yes, you two need
to spend more time together!
39
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,674
-No offence...
40
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,708
I-I prefer my bunnies
in cartoons.
41
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,310
-Ah, right.
42
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:21,113
-Sweet jesus, there's still fur
on those things!
43
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,915
-Oh, you still remember
how to skin 'em?
44
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,084
-Just like you taught me!
45
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:26,219
Adult mark (v.O.): Elmer fudd
had nothing on mom.
46
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,654
-I think I'll wait
for the sandwich.
47
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,489
-You better get
used to stuff like this
48
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:30,990
If you plan on huntin' a moose!
49
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,058
Poppy bell: Wha?
50
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,049
You got your moose licence,
do ya, pat?
51
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,227
-As a matter of fact,
I did, yeah.
52
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,996
Er, area 32.
53
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:39,598
-Oh, that's up the cape shore.
54
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,300
More than an hour
and a half away.
55
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,403
-Say, you're
the big hunter, huh?
56
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,805
Why don't you shoot the moose
57
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,474
And I'll let you keep
the arse-end on down?
58
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,945
-I'll take ya,
but I needs more than an arse.
59
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:54,412
Half-shares.
60
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,549
-Why don't we take
young mark with us, yeah?
61
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:58,718
-Me?
62
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,286
No, the- the only thing
I hunt for are bargains!
63
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,087
-Oh, I don't know
about that, pop.
64
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:04,389
-Come on, mary.
65
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,692
You were just sayin' we should
spend more time together.
66
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:07,893
Boys' trip!
67
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,161
-Alright.
68
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:10,763
It is a long weekend, after all.
69
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,799
-Child endangerment laws
clearly state-
70
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,333
-That you're goin.'
71
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,801
-Let me give ya a hand
with them rabbits.
72
00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:18,403
-Aw, thanks, dad.
73
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,305
-May I speak to you
in the other room?
74
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,707
Poppy bell: Nice [inaudible],
aren't they?
75
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,576
Mary: They're lovely.
I could make a pie!
76
00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:26,479
-[in a whisper]
what the hell was that?
77
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,448
-I'm not going into those woods
with him alone!
78
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,648
He's got a gun!
Are you nuts?
79
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,585
You're my insurance policy.
80
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:34,853
Listen...
81
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,322
I'm going into the office
till he's gone.
82
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,291
I've had enough bologna
for one day.
83
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,260
Adult mark (v.O.):
I had to become a man
84
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,995
So pop could stay a coward!
85
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,265
But did I have what it takes?
86
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,733
[rock music playing]
87
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,479
Mike jr: That was the beastie
boys with "hey ladies,"
88
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,473
On the new magic 97,
digital stereo.
89
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:57,342
Less talk, more music.
90
00:02:57,344 --> 00:03:01,413
I am your magic morning man,
mike campbell.
91
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,548
And now, a word
from our sponsors...
92
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,617
-Friggin' fm radio.
93
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,020
It'll never catch on here,
if ye asks me.
94
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,688
-Ah, times change, dick.
95
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,489
We gotta change along with them.
96
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,424
-Friggin' compact discs!
97
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,260
What's wrong with vinyl?
98
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,328
Lasers instead 'a needles.
99
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:19,566
Liable to burn the fingers
right off yerself.
100
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,377
-Oh, turn it back up again,
will ya?
101
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,734
He's about to do the news.
102
00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:24,637
That's one thing
that'll never change.
103
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:28,640
Mike jr: And here's your
magic 97 reality check.
104
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:29,976
-"reality check"...?
-[rock music playing]
105
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:32,678
Mike jr: So, get this,
president george bush
106
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,381
Is meeting with prime minister
brian mulroney today
107
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,715
In ottawa to discuss... What?
108
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,151
Acid rain.
109
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:41,186
Raining acid, well...
110
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,322
Now, that sounds like a party!
111
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,856
Sound effect: Ahh-wooga!
112
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,125
Mike jr: This has been
your reality check.
113
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:50,662
Here's today's top hits
on the new magic 97!
114
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,697
-The arse is out of 'er.
115
00:03:52,698 --> 00:03:55,401
Suzanne: Just give me
a second, okay?
116
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,036
Fox: What's so important?
I got work.
117
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,177
-Who're we waiting on?
118
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,735
-I don't got time for this.
It's me bath night, b'y!
119
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:01,906
[knock at door]
120
00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:04,343
Suzanne: Okay, there he is!
Just give me a second, please!
121
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,394
Man: Hey.
122
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:06,546
Suzanne: Hi!
Come in!
123
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,248
Man: Thank you.
Suzanne: Just come on in here.
124
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,539
Man: I'm so sorry.
My open house went over, but...
125
00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:11,584
I got an offer!
126
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,585
Suzanne: Oh, great!
Man: Yeah!
127
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,620
[loud smooch]
128
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:14,719
-What the frig?
129
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,195
-Get your lips off me mudder!
130
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:19,291
-Kids, it's okay.
131
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:23,362
This is paul, and, uh...
132
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,963
He's my boyfriend.
133
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,358
[engine idling outside]
134
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,965
-[pager beeping]
-paul: Ooh!
135
00:04:27,966 --> 00:04:29,802
Oh, I gotta get this.
It's the buyers.
136
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,637
But, uh, don't worry kids.
137
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,038
I'm gonna be right back!
138
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,239
'cause I just...
139
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,408
I can't wait
to get to know you rug rats
140
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:37,410
A little bit better, okay?
141
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,211
[gasps]
142
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:40,263
Where's the phone?
143
00:04:40,264 --> 00:04:42,181
Suzanne: Uh, just out
in the kitchen there.
144
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,248
It's good, yeah.
145
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:44,649
-We already got a dad.
146
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,751
-Well, what about me?
I got nobody!
147
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:47,986
-You got us.
148
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:49,255
-He's really nice to me.
149
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:50,789
He's so good.
150
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,225
And he's successful, and he's...
151
00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:53,391
-A dick?
152
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:57,261
-[sighs]
well...
153
00:04:57,298 --> 00:05:01,800
Can't ye be happy for me
just once?
154
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:07,906
-How long ya figure before
we're all shipped off to dad's?
155
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,942
[buddy wasisname
and the other fellers playing]
156
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,811
? it's the 24th of may
and we likes to get away... ?
157
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,647
Adult mark (v.O.): I was
stuck between them
158
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,316
Like a united nations
peacekeeper.
159
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:20,085
-So, pat, when's the last time
you shot at something?
160
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,220
Gallipoli?
[chuckles]
161
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,555
[pop groans]
162
00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:25,291
-The only thing pop
killed lately was the mood.
163
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:26,958
[poppy bell laughs]
164
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,494
-It's just a bit of
outdoorsman humour!
165
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,030
Poppy bell: You're
gonna love this, mark.
166
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,765
Knock the stink of
the house off ya.
167
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,834
Hunting's the best
sport there is.
168
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:36,803
Pop: Hah.
169
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,903
Not much of a sport, is it?
170
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:42,774
When only one side
knows they're playing.
171
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,977
Ah, you don't hunt to kill.
172
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,180
You only hunt to live.
173
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,182
-Lighten up.
174
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,983
After this weekend, mark, b'y,
175
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,519
You're gonna be a man.
176
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,655
[dreamlike sound of
animals snarling]
177
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,791
Adult mark (v.O.): I was
a sportsman now!
178
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,227
-[english accent]
huzzah!
179
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,395
And so, gentlemen,
180
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,597
There I was,
being chased by a tiger
181
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,532
That was being chased by a lion
182
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,868
That was being chased
by a grizzly bear.
183
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,937
I soon found myself at
the edge of a canyon, trapped!
184
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,808
-[english accent]
what did you do, dear boy?
185
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:20,612
-I cocked my rifle,
steadied myself,
186
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:25,817
Waited until I saw
the whites of the beast's eyes,
187
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,152
And...
188
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,488
-[gunshot]
-bully!
189
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,090
I shot a shot
as true as my word.
190
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,893
It went straight
through the tiger,
191
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,360
Through the lionhearted lion's
lion heart,
192
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:39,164
And soon found its home
in the heart
193
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:42,901
Of the grizzly bear.
194
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,136
A hat trick!
195
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,838
-Oh!
Well, a brandy toast.
196
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,408
To mark critch, the greatest
hunter since hemingway!
197
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:51,810
-Here, here!
198
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,512
Pop: Chin, chin, dear boy.
199
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:55,780
[horn honks]
200
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,249
[poppy bell laughing]
201
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,650
Buddy & fellers:
? it's the 24th of may
202
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,054
And we likes to get away ?
203
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,790
? up in the woods
or going out the bay ?
204
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,960
? there's all kinds of places
but the place we likes to get ?
205
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:12,063
? is up on the highway... ?
-jeez, look at this, now!
206
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:15,367
?
207
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,903
Adult mark (v.O.): Would I be
the hunter or the hunted?
208
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,809
Oose, b'ys! ?
209
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,577
?
210
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,813
? oh, first to get
the moose licence ?
211
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,082
? you apply for
six whole years... ?
212
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,484
[poppy bell snoring]
213
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:35,087
Adult mark (v.O.): The jungle
sounds were too loud to sleep .
214
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,958
Not to mention
poppy bell's snoring.
215
00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:38,024
-Pop?
216
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,224
You up?
217
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,625
-Do I have a choice?
218
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,960
-Tell me the truth.
219
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,962
Did you ever shoot
anything before?
220
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,897
-No.
221
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:49,433
But don't tell
buffalo bill over there.
222
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,836
-Your secret is safe with me.
223
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,772
Why'd you want to get
a moose licence, then?
224
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,510
-Kill a moose,
fill the freezer for a year.
225
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,378
I just...
226
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,914
I just wanted to provide,
that's all.
227
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,449
To...
228
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:08,320
To be... "the man."
229
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,921
[sighs]
230
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:13,991
-I'd rather have
just gone on a diet.
231
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:17,762
-I'm glad you came, though.
232
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,198
-? got to get me moose, b'ys! ?
233
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,768
? like to go moose hunting,
hunting in the fall... ?
234
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,937
-If we take that guy with us,
235
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:29,474
The moose will
likely kill itself.
236
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,477
-Do you think you have
what it takes?
237
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:35,480
To kill?
238
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,481
I don't think I do.
239
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,284
-Well...
240
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,287
Why don't we let
sleeping beauty over there...
241
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,622
[poppy bell snoring]
242
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,356
Pop: Let him do the dirty work
243
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:46,958
So we'll never have to find out.
244
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,894
Buddy: ? I allow it's not hard
to get a whiff of we ?
245
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,696
? after five or six days out! ?
246
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,631
-Shut your bloody cake hole!
247
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,101
-What...?
248
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:59,370
What...?
249
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:02,340
Hmm...
[groans]
250
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:06,044
[bottles clinking outside,
footsteps receding]
251
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:09,114
Mike sr: [radio]
the jaws of life were called
252
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,150
To the scene of a two-car
smash-up this morning.
253
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,652
A student driver swerved
into the outbound lane,
254
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:16,053
Sending one person to hospital.
255
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,855
[switches radio station]
256
00:09:17,856 --> 00:09:20,059
Mike jr: [radio] a student
driver smacked head-on
257
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,060
Into another car this morning.
258
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,196
Sound effect: [car crash]
259
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:27,533
-So I guess that's what you'd
call a "crash course."
260
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,584
[chuckles]
261
00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:30,602
This has been your
magic 97 reality check.
262
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:31,870
-Hmm.
263
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:33,938
Sin for me.
[sighs]
264
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,875
-Is that funny to you?
265
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,540
-[chuckles] come on, dad,
it was just an accident.
266
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,745
No one got hurt.
267
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,880
-How do you know that?
268
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:43,015
-They got the driver out.
269
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,550
-But you didn't
report that part.
270
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,417
-Yeah, I can't
go on and on about it.
271
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:47,952
I gotta get back to the music.
272
00:09:47,953 --> 00:09:50,056
You know, I've been listening
to some of these dj's
273
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,357
In the states.
Shock jocks.
274
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,957
They're friggin' hilarious.
275
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:56,060
-Well, you got me shocked.
276
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,398
-Well, it's my show, dad.
Okay?
277
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,267
And I wanna do something new.
278
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,572
Mike sr: Hey, dick?
Dick: Hmm?
279
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,508
-Was my news report boring?
280
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:13,577
-I dunno.
Missed it.
281
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,480
I was listening to young mike.
282
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,181
-[sighs]
283
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,584
?
284
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,185
[door closes]
285
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,154
[upbeat 80's music]
286
00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:24,690
Adult mark (v.O.):
The it store.
287
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:25,856
Edible underwear.
288
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,192
Prank gifts.
289
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,526
Lava lamps.
290
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,128
The edgiest store in the mall.
291
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,130
And the edgiest girl
worked there.
292
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:35,800
Ritche: I'd like a refund
on this fake vomit.
293
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:36,935
-What's wrong with it?
294
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,236
-It looks fake.
295
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,437
-That's 'cause it is.
296
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,738
-It's not gross enough.
297
00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:42,541
-So? Stick your finger
down your throat, then.
298
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,342
-Look, I want my money back.
299
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,110
I have the receipt.
300
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:49,980
-[sighs]
301
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,949
-[cash register dings
and opens]
302
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,853
?
303
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,021
-Tell me,
304
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:58,524
What do you have in the way
of a whoopee cushion?
305
00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,959
-Frig off.
I'm going on break.
306
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,861
I'm only working here
to help my mom out.
307
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,294
This isn't my career.
308
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:04,997
-Things still tough
since your dad left?
309
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,264
-This is my job, you know?
310
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,366
It's not a place
for you to hang out.
311
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,501
-Wow.
312
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,669
-No, okay, wait, wait, wait.
313
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:12,937
[sighs]
314
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,507
Um, I'm sorry, okay?
It's just...
315
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,675
It's hard to talk about
sometimes.
316
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,043
-I get it.
317
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:21,179
Want a custard cone?
318
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,480
My treat.
319
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,415
I'll use my vomit money.
320
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:25,534
-Yeah, come on.
321
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,636
-That's it.
322
00:11:27,637 --> 00:11:29,088
Remember, now,
she'll have a kick.
323
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,723
Squeeze..
Gentle like...
324
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:32,823
[gunshot]
325
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,325
-There you go.
326
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,861
That's the hard part.
327
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,262
Pop: Hey, easy!
328
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,732
You're gonna give me
a heart attack!
329
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,201
Adult mark (v.O.):
First day camping
330
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,802
And I was already packing heat.
331
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,336
-I mean, that shook me up.
332
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,738
Where's the toilet?
333
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,440
-Uh, you're standing in it.
334
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:50,708
-Hmm.
335
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,744
[approaching car honks]
336
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,011
Poppy bell: You done good.
337
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:55,946
How'd that feel?
Did ya like it?
338
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,114
[car honks again]
339
00:11:57,115 --> 00:11:58,050
-I dunno.
340
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,584
I felt powerful, but...
341
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:00,851
Scared.
342
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,287
-Good.
343
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,755
It's not a toy.
344
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,723
You got to feel
the weight of it,
345
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,992
In more ways than one, eh?
346
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,962
Ah!
You see that?
347
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,197
That means he got
his first kill.
348
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,933
That'll be you soon enough.
349
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,035
Adult mark (v.O.): Shooting
a gun was one thing.
350
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:18,335
But killing something?
351
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,438
That was something
else entirely.
352
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:25,176
-That's all there is to it.
353
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,478
-A space like this
won't last long!
354
00:12:27,479 --> 00:12:28,380
Fox: Wait...
355
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,048
Client: I'll need
to think about it.
356
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:31,250
Paul: Sure, think all you want.
357
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,918
But remember, this listing
goes up tomorrow
358
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,553
And we're givin' you
first crack.
359
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,604
Tori: Take your time.
360
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,454
Paul: Oh!
And don't forget.
361
00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:40,081
We're the spouses with houses,
paul and tori royle.
362
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,293
We're giving you
the "royle" treatment.
363
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,412
Client: Okay.
364
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:48,933
-You're too pushy.
365
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,401
We lost her.
366
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,769
-Listen...
367
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:55,073
Are you sure about this?
368
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,276
I mean, just think about
all we'll be throwing away.
369
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,012
The signage alone is gonna
cost a fortune to re-brand.
370
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,547
-Still too pushy.
371
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:07,418
[mysterious music]
372
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,020
-Slimy frigger!
373
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,056
-The st. John's
fire department was quick
374
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,992
To put out the blaze
at the chicken abattoir.
375
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,193
The fire is described as...
376
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,561
Delicious.
377
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:18,497
Sound effect:
[chicken clucking and burp]
378
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,164
[phone ringing]
379
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,968
-Better listening, vocm.
Mike critch speaking.
380
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,054
-Mike, it's gary.
381
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,771
I got an update
on that car crash.
382
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:30,908
The student driver passed away.
383
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,043
Sin.
384
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:34,145
Wasn't her fault.
385
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,115
The fella in the other car
was loaded.
386
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:42,788
Gertie: Mike, I just got
a complaint on the switchboard.
387
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,419
-[sighs]
not right now, gertie.
388
00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:46,591
I need to talk to mike
about something.
389
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,993
-That's who it's about.
390
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,329
It's bad, mike.
391
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,467
-[making moose call]
392
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:57,869
-Shh! Quiet!
393
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,470
You'll scare the moose!
394
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,005
Mooses? Meese.
395
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,473
-It's a moose call, pop.
396
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:06,077
-Well, if you ask me,
the best way to sneak up
397
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,847
Is to shut up.
398
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,115
-[loud squish]
-oh, crap! Oh...
399
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,450
-What is it, pop?
400
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:13,485
-No! Crap!
401
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:14,686
Actual crap!
402
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:15,986
Oh...
403
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,656
-Those are moose droppings.
404
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:19,891
-Precisely.
405
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:22,560
Yeah!
That's why I stood in them.
406
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,763
Because I want to cover myself
with animal scent
407
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,465
So I can get close to 'em.
408
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:28,766
Aah.
[chuckles]
409
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:31,168
Yes, judging by the spray,
410
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,505
I would say
our bullwinkle went...
411
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,941
Left!
412
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,709
Hey, hey!
413
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,811
-No offence, pop.
414
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,512
Poppy bell knows more!
415
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,581
-But I know better!
416
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:44,849
-It's this way!
417
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,318
[twigs breaking,
leaves rustling]
418
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,721
-I found the poo,
so I say it's this way.
419
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,257
I mean, you wouldn't
know your arse
420
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,790
From a hole in the ground.
421
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,959
Oh, whoa, whoa!
Okay, come on!
422
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,861
It's just woodsy banter, hey!
423
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,595
-Shhh!
-What? What?
424
00:14:58,632 --> 00:14:59,864
[moose snorting]
425
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:02,132
-[quietly] get out the way, pat!
Slowly!
426
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:03,735
Pop: Aah!
Oh!
427
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,870
[gunshot]
428
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:05,936
-Dammit!
429
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,405
Made me miss!
430
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,608
Adult mark (v.O.): If you're
wrong as much as pop was ,
431
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,239
Eventually you
have to be right.
432
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,881
Eadphones]
433
00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:17,983
[music switches off]
434
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,618
-How do I look?
435
00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:21,687
-Pretty.
436
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,554
-Thank you!
437
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,224
Okay, now...
438
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,558
What do you think?
439
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:28,760
Pink?
440
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:32,163
Or I also have... Red.
441
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,597
-Don't matter, do it?
442
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,898
-It do matter!
443
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:37,001
Paul is taking me
for indian food!
444
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:38,703
Oh, he's so...
445
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,638
Cosmopolitan!
446
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,508
-Yeah, um...
447
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:44,610
About him...
448
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,044
-Mm-hm?
449
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,645
-I seen him at the mall today.
450
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,013
-Oh, you did?
451
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,280
Did you say hi?
452
00:15:50,281 --> 00:15:51,350
-No.
453
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:53,117
No, well, he was, uh...
454
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,852
He was with someone.
455
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,020
Working.
456
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,089
-Oh, god, it's so nice
to be with somebody
457
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,590
Who works so hard, you know?
458
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:03,094
Your father couldn't
hold down a job, but...
459
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,595
I'm sorry.
460
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,864
I know, I promised
I wouldn't talk bad
461
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,866
About your father no more.
462
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:10,201
But paul is...
463
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:11,203
[knock at front door]
464
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,604
-Oh, god!
Oh, that's him now.
465
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,339
Can you go get the door?
I don't want him to see me
466
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,241
Without my face.
-But mom, I-I don't-
467
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:20,545
-He's good to me!
Don't you want me to be happy?
468
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,013
-Yeah.
469
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:24,815
Yeah, of course.
470
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,017
Okay.
471
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:28,619
-[knock at front door]
-thank you, baby.
472
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,755
[front door closes]
473
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,089
-Come right in, I guess.
474
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,191
-Heh.
475
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,425
Nobody answered, so...
476
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,561
-Yeah, it usually means
"stay out."
477
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:38,829
-You're, um...
478
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,564
Jessica, right?
479
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,699
-Jennifer.
480
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:42,818
-Dah!
481
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:43,901
Close!
482
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:48,139
?
483
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,842
Well, I guess
just tell your mom
484
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,108
I'll be waiting in the car.
485
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:54,145
-Does your wife know
that you're here?
486
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,197
-What?
487
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:57,181
-I seen ya in the mall today.
488
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,316
"we're the spouses with houses"?
489
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,853
[scoffs]
it's cute.
490
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,088
-We're getting divorced.
491
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:04,388
-Smart lady.
492
00:17:04,389 --> 00:17:06,592
-It's how we're marketed.
It's just business.
493
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:07,626
-Right.
494
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,126
Yeah, business.
495
00:17:09,127 --> 00:17:11,196
-Yeah, like, you should
mind your own business.
496
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,664
-Ahh, thank you, my love!
497
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,065
Hi, babe!
498
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:17,068
[giggles playfully]
499
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,203
Watch your brother for me,
now, okay?
500
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:20,938
-Don't wait up.
501
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,807
-[suzanne giggles]
-mom?
502
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:26,810
-Yes, my love?
503
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,812
-The red's nice.
504
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,081
-Thank you.
505
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,883
[front door opens]
506
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,018
Paul: Sweet kid!
507
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:34,053
Suzanne: Isn't she?
508
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,419
Paul: Yeah, nice to talk to.
509
00:17:35,420 --> 00:17:37,022
Suzanne: I know.
She's so friendly!
510
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,490
She has so many friends
at school...
511
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:40,825
-[sighs]
512
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,494
? get up, get up, get up
and get down ?
513
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,564
? get up, get up, get up
and get down... ?
514
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,233
-Oh, jeez...
515
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,969
-[switches radio station]
-[vocm jingle playing]
516
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:54,438
-Oh, great job today, honey.
The news was really great!
517
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,206
-Mike!
-[stomping loudly]
518
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,975
Get up here, now!
519
00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:00,311
-Sweet jesus!
What is going on?
520
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,912
-I need to talk to your son.
521
00:18:01,913 --> 00:18:02,914
- My son?
522
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,049
Why is this a virgin birth
all of a sudden?
523
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,218
You got the wrong mary!
524
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,784
Mike jr: Dad?
What's up?
525
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:10,388
-We need to talk about
the way you deliver the news.
526
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:11,903
-Okay, I don't wanna hear it.
527
00:18:11,904 --> 00:18:13,124
-Well, you're gonna hear it!
528
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:14,459
-Oh, that's enough now!
529
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,061
-It was a joke, okay?
I was having a bit of fun!
530
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:18,462
-Fun?
531
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:19,665
You know that car crash?
532
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:21,133
The girl they took to hospital?
533
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:22,134
-Yeah.
534
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,534
-Well, she died.
535
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:24,503
Mary: Oh!
536
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,070
-She was the same age as you.
537
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:27,406
Her mother called the station.
538
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,607
She didn't think
it was much of a joke.
539
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,008
-Oh, I...
540
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,277
I swear I had no idea.
541
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:36,647
-Oh, mike.
542
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:40,618
?
543
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,155
Adult mark (v.O.): I longed
for the sweet, ignorant bliss
544
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,790
Of the grocery store
freezer aisle!
545
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,841
[moose snorts]
546
00:18:47,912 --> 00:18:49,961
[gun cocks]
547
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,964
[dramatic music]
548
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,499
-This is it.
549
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:58,970
Just like I showed you, now.
550
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:01,772
[moose snorts]
551
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,175
?
552
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:06,577
Adult mark (v.O.):
It was majestic.
553
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,780
I could hear the sound
of its breath.
554
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,449
I could have heard
its heartbeat
555
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:13,084
If my own hadn't been so loud.
556
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,852
-Take it!
Take it!
557
00:19:15,853 --> 00:19:18,056
Adult mark (v.O.): It was
the most beautiful thing
558
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:21,525
I'd ever seen.
559
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:24,561
Poppy bell: What the hell
are ya doin'?
560
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,566
[gunshot]
561
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:29,833
-Dammit!
562
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,603
-It's okay.
563
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,273
-[murmuring nervously]
-you did good.
564
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,475
You did real good.
565
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:45,549
[poignant music]
566
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:47,219
Adult mark (v.O.):
Doing something scary
567
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,955
Doesn't make you grown up.
568
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:54,392
Sometimes doing nothing
for the right reason...
569
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,828
Is the bravest thing
you can do.
570
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:58,947
[sound of kissing]
571
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:04,501
Adult mark (v.O.): But
the hardest thing to say
572
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:06,503
Is usually the right thing.
573
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,673
-Hi...
Is this mrs. Cowan?
574
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:15,446
My name is mike campbell.
575
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,082
I believe I owe you an apology.
576
00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:21,886
Pop: No animals were harmed
in the making of this sandwich.
577
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,989
[chuckles]
here.
578
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,591
-It's not funny.
I'm embarrassed.
579
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,860
-Well, I'm proud of you.
580
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,863
You know, what makes you
more of a man?
581
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,199
Doing something that
you don't want to do
582
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,535
Because somebody else
tells you to do it?
583
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:42,773
Or standing up
for what you believe in?
584
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,509
-I think I woulda shot it
if you hadn't stopped me.
585
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,746
-Yeah. [chuckles]
that's why I stopped you!
586
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,248
-I thought you wanted
the free meat.
587
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,417
-Not at that price.
588
00:20:55,288 --> 00:21:00,825
?
589
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,225
-Night, pop.
590
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,195
-Night.
591
00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:10,501
?
592
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:15,639
?
593
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,909
Adult mark (v.O.): Sometimes
you're in such a rush
594
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:20,444
To grow up that
you might not even notice
595
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:23,047
That you already have.
596
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:27,918
?
597
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,589
?
598
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:37,661
?
599
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:41,198
?
600
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:47,938
?
601
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:50,741
?
602
00:21:50,791 --> 00:21:55,341
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