Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:04,880
Okay, I'm just saying,
for a $20 buy-in,
2
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,132
I can get
my Etsy business going
3
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:10,802
and we can all see
a 200% return by Friday.
4
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,012
Are you sure she's yours?
5
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,724
No.
6
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,601
-Okay.
-And what's the product?
7
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:20,520
Not important.
You're betting on a winner.
8
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,689
-Are you in or out?
-I'm in, I'm in.
9
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,484
I gotta park some money away
from the prying eyes of the IRS.
10
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:26,443
There you go.
11
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,529
Hey, guys.
What's the haps?
12
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,073
Woo, what is that smell?
13
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:33,617
You're like a combination
of AXE Body Spray,
14
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,452
a burp, and a corn dog.
15
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,497
Actually, it was a chili dog.
16
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,665
And I did just burp.
17
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,126
Some of the guys at school
are trading colognes.
18
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,462
You know, it's a thing
for the ladies.
19
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,505
Not this one.
20
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,300
Cologne, body spray,
fragrance, what is it?
21
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,928
Actually, it's eau de toilette.
22
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:55,514
Why are the French
in charge of all smells?
23
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,599
Again with the French,
Grandpa?
24
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,936
You don't get it
'cause you're old, alright?
25
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,145
But fine,
I'll go take a shower.
26
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,233
Try to take one less than
an hour, s'il vous plait!
27
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:11,113
Yeah.
Sorry about the water bill.
28
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,532
I mean, not sorry enough
to pay it, but sorry.
29
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:17,119
You know,
that boy-to-man process
is happening pretty fast.
30
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:19,204
You know, extended showers,
31
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,497
walking around
without a shirt on,
32
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,041
flexing his one muscle.
33
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,584
Yesterday, he was learning
how to ride a bike.
34
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,086
Now, he's old enough to date?
35
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,421
He's not dating anyone.
36
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,881
The only woman
he speaks to is Siri,
37
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:31,008
and I think
she's ghosting him.
38
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,136
Could you talk to him
about dating
39
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,179
and all the other stuff
that I don't want to?
40
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,807
You're the one that says
you talk to your son
about everything.
41
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,600
It's modern, it's open.
42
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,436
I would say
a little frightening.
43
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,522
Uh, would you want to talk
about sex stuff with your mom?
44
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,274
My mother never had sex.
45
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,169
No. No, no.
46
00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:10,839
No, no, no.
Well, we got trouble.
47
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:14,092
Is it those damn
teenagers again?
48
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,053
Oh, my God, I sound like
a villain on Scooby-Doo.
49
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,679
Ruh-roh!
50
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,598
I just wanted to say that.
51
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:24,269
Picnic table.
52
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:27,230
Oh, no.
People could eat outdoors.
53
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,150
Think of the laughter.
54
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,569
This is all about Eve.
55
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,945
I love that movie.
56
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,866
She just wants
the dance studio and her
57
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,743
to have this property
to themselves.
58
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,790
Uh-oh, here comes Matt's
"Eve is short for 'evil'" rant.
59
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:47,668
Well, she always takes
my parking space.
60
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,878
Parks in my spot.
61
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,422
The dancers block the entrance.
You guys know that.
62
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:53,882
Then, they start with
that music all the time.
63
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,137
Hey, man, I like that beat.
Keep it going.
64
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,515
You know what?
She's like a French car.
65
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,768
Not bad on the outside,
but that interior, funky.
66
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,939
You know what, Matt's right,
man, this is about territory.
67
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:12,275
Around my hood,
this kind of disrespect
would not be tolerated.
68
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,986
Stop throwing out street cred.
You live in the 'burbs.
69
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,322
You have an HOA.
70
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,034
Residences at Cascade Hills,
playa.
71
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,539
I'm done being nice, guys.
72
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,457
When did you start?
73
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,126
-Hey, Matt.
-Listen, I'm gonna
74
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,877
go over there
and I'm gonna tell her
she gotta move that table,
75
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,796
or I'm gonna put her
in her place.
76
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,297
Try not to start
World War III.
77
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,924
Don't forget,
your daughter works there.
78
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,217
I'm not starting
World War III.
79
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,261
Have you met
a 19-year-old boy
these days?
80
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,804
Hell, we'd all be dead.
81
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,056
- Riley
-Hey, Eve.
82
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:47,060
We need to reserve
studio room B at 3 p.m.
83
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,896
for, I don't wanna
drop names,
84
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,565
but his last name is a planet,
85
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,275
and his first name is Bruno.
86
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,694
Bruno Mars?
Shut up!
87
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:58,029
I really should shut up.
I signed an NDA.
88
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:03,160
Nice picnic table, Eve.
Bruno's gonna love it.
89
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,413
I'm definitely getting sued.
90
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,707
Hey, do you want to watch him?
91
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:11,543
Watch him?
I want to bathe in him.
92
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:14,171
But, um, uh, I have to take
my daughter to the dentist.
93
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,381
They're her baby teeth,
they don't count.
94
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,551
But, of course, yes.
Go.
95
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:22,679
Oh, my God, Eve,
you are the best.
96
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,515
-Coolest boss ever.
-I mean, have you
seen the competition?
97
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,812
Listen, you gotta move
that picnic table
98
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,272
out of the alley, okay?
99
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,982
It's nice to see you again,
too, Mr. Parker.
100
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,109
Yeah.
Hi, Mr. Parker.
101
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,572
It's a shared space.
It isn't your space.
102
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,865
I just thought it
would be nice for people
103
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,366
to have a place
to sit and eat.
104
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,660
Your shop guys are free
to use it too, you know?
105
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,371
Do you let them sit?
Or eat?
106
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,124
I'm sorry, I think I fell asleep
in the middle of all of that.
107
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,043
My, my shop guys are just fine.
108
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,170
The last thing they need is
a place to have longer lunches.
109
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,714
You sure about that?
110
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,761
Get back to work,
damn it!
111
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,554
Whoa, sorry.
112
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,808
This is a no-crazy-man
who-spits-when-he-yells zone!
113
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,812
Uh, sorry, Mr. Parker.
114
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,647
Stop callin' me that.
115
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,066
Listen, that table
goes bye-bye tomorrow.
116
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,652
Speaking of bye-bye,
bye-bye.
117
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,448
That guy, huh?
118
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,993
You know I know
he's your dad, right?
119
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,828
I've never taken a DNA test.
120
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,459
Gabe, why is the table
still here?
121
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,877
And why are you sitting at it?
122
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:38,421
-Don't get mad.
-I'm not mad, I'm calm.
123
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,675
Oh, it's worse than we thought.
It's Matt's calm rage.
124
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,343
Actually, this is my favorite.
125
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,053
It's like Darth Vader
on edibles.
126
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,182
Get up.
Up, up, up, let's go.
127
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,142
This doesn't seem
like calm rage to me.
128
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,686
- What are you doing?
- Showing them
129
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,020
that I mean business.
130
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,524
By blocking their
front door with the table?
131
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,025
Exactamundo.
132
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,363
- What is he doing?
- Seriously?
133
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,155
Wow.
134
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,450
-Okay.
-I mean...
135
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,455
Oh, so this is how it is?
You can push that table,
136
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,791
but I get stuck on the ramp,
and all I hear is,
137
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,167
"You got it, Stitch!"
138
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,462
That's commitment.
139
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,424
It's also a fire hazard.
140
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,857
You really should get
that DNA test.
141
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,161
Hello, Ms. Parker.
142
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,122
Can I help you with anything?
143
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,874
Stop playing innocent.
144
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,418
We watched you push the table
in front of our door.
145
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,295
Oh, come on, man,
that could have been anybody.
146
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,633
- Oh!
- Oh, you pulled your back?
147
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,717
-Yes.
-That's what you get.
148
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:10,722
Why are you making such
a big deal about a picnic table?
149
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,891
You wouldn't understand.
You're not a business owner.
150
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,644
Eve just wants the property
between our two businesses.
151
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,313
You know, she won't be happy
'til everyone's a communist
152
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,856
wearing dance shoes.
153
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,566
You mean The Nutcracker?
154
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,445
You know what else?
I think she hired you
155
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,364
just to get leverage over me.
156
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,492
Oh, my God, you really think
everything's about you?
157
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,535
It's a big responsibility,
but I can handle it.
158
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,081
Dad, I am telling you,
she's a really great person
159
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,666
who just wants people
to have a place to eat.
160
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:38,958
You're an idiot.
161
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,545
You know, if you won't stop
this craziness for me,
162
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,464
at least do it
for your grandkids.
163
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:48,259
They have stuff all the time,
and Eve gives me flexible hours.
164
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,178
I'm talking house cat hours.
165
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,972
-I hate cats.
-Dad.
166
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,641
Alright,
Heathcliff is a good cat.
167
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,142
I don't mind that cat.
168
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,811
Dad, I'm begging you.
169
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,814
Okay, okay.
170
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,650
She can keep the stupid table.
171
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,152
- If anything's stupid, it's--
- Juh-bip-bip-bip.
172
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,863
You got your "fine."
I'll go move the table back.
173
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,699
-You're still talking
to Carter today--
-Bip-bip-bip-bip.
174
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:11,825
You can help me.
175
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,748
Hey, Matt, for what
it's worth, you're right.
176
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,792
You give a person
like Eve an inch,
she gonna take a mile.
177
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,085
Why didn't you say
something?
178
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,628
It's just not
a good look for me.
179
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,177
Oh. Hey, Carter.
180
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,222
Hey, lookin' good, Pops.
181
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,851
I'm in a lot of pain.
I can barely walk.
182
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,269
What do you mean
I'm lookin' good?
183
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,895
Oh.
184
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,439
It's kinda how
you always look to me.
185
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,317
-What happened?
-I moved a table to win a war.
186
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,822
Don't know what that means,
so I'm just gonna say, sweet.
187
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,325
You know,
I'm already in a lot of pain.
188
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,369
I might as well double down.
189
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,954
I want to talk to you
about something.
190
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,914
Sure thing. What's up?
191
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,961
Well, I've been noticing
your new habits, you know?
192
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,297
Eau de toilette,
extended showers,
193
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,799
your allergy
to wearing your shirt.
194
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,970
You know, sometimes when
I finish my push-up in my room,
195
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,972
gotta let the pecs breathe.
196
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,266
Okay.
197
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,686
I'm thinking that
since your dad's not around,
198
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:25,190
maybe you and I could have
that man-to-boy talk about sex.
199
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,108
Okay, let me stop you
right there.
200
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,277
-No, no, no.
-If you mean the sex talk...
201
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,404
-Yeah.
-...I don't need it.
202
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,864
Well, we could call it
something else.
203
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:35,366
How 'bout, uh, dating?
We can talk about
dating a little bit.
204
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,076
Nope.
I've learned everything
205
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,703
there is to know
off the internet.
206
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,872
Well, I'm sure
you've learned a lot
of things off the internet--
207
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,499
-Everything.
-Everything?
208
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:45,084
Ev-ery-thing.
209
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,463
You know what
I'm talking about, Pops.
210
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,970
What the hell
is "everything"?
211
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,348
I don't know.
212
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,934
We gotta look
at what he's looking at.
213
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,187
I agree,
but what kind of person
breaks into a kid's laptop?
214
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,231
Georgia!
215
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,026
Sweetie, we need a favor.
216
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,989
-You want Carter's password.
-You're a scary little creature.
217
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,200
And, yes, we do.
218
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,832
-There you go.
-Wow.
219
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,708
So, what's this gonna cost us?
220
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:26,876
Nothing.
221
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,421
Someday, you'll just
owe me a favor.
222
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,343
I hope I'm dead
before she wants that favor.
223
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:39,514
Well, that's what you get
for showing her The Godfather.
224
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,850
-Go to search history.
-I'm there.
225
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,436
"SciFi HubX."
What is this?
226
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,022
Oh, uh, it's fan fiction.
227
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:50,024
A combination
of romance and fantasy.
228
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,068
They call it "romantasy."
229
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,865
Kinda rhymes with
"so-sad-to-see."
230
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,995
"She faced the window
on four of her legs.
231
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,706
Her other two legs
hung seductively."
232
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,958
"As the passion grew,
I reached for the back
of her head
233
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,960
and grabbed a handful
of her feathers"?
234
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,463
Here's a link to a picture.
235
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,923
-Ah!
-Man.
236
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,511
Are those alien privates?
237
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,180
Certainly not private
when they're hanging
238
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,808
on the front of your forehead,
or whatever that's called.
239
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,602
-Pretty well hung, though.
-Ugh.
240
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,021
Oh!
241
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:30,815
-Ew!
-Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
242
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,818
- Oh.
- Hm.
243
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,279
Okay. Kind of weird.
244
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,614
Kind of weird?
245
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,616
That's like a reptile
combined with a parrot
246
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,034
and an alien gettin' it on.
247
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,537
This is just nuts.
When we were kids,
248
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:49,125
all we had to look at
was National Geographic.
249
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,044
This is what kids
should be looking at:
250
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,171
grass skirts and boobies.
251
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,923
At least
it's less misogynistic
252
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,508
than most stuff online, right?
253
00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:00,053
But should I be worried
this is what he's into?
254
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,512
Yes, I'd be worried.
255
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,514
A lot of dangerous
weirdos online,
256
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:06,392
-and now your kid's one of 'em.
-You're right.
257
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,770
I have to talk to him
about real women
258
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,731
before I wind up
with a hot serpent
for a daughter-in-law.
259
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,900
Listen, I'm gonna let you
handle this one.
260
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,028
You may want to read that.
I'm gonna go upstairs
261
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:20,323
and take a nice hot
Epsom salt bath.
262
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:23,618
-Oh!
-This is what you get
for moving a table.
263
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,244
Are you okay?
264
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,873
Yeah, at least I don't have
a son who's into romantasy.
265
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,920
Okay. Oh!
266
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,054
Well, this is twice as bad.
267
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,190
My dad agreed to one table.
268
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,900
He's gonna be livid
when he sees two.
269
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,903
Why did you poke
the literal bear?
270
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,238
Just over here poking.
271
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,656
Poke-poke-poke-poke
poke-poke-poke!
272
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,616
It's okay, relax.
273
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,536
I've dealt with guys
like your dad my whole life,
274
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:09,122
and they always
underestimate me
because I'm a woman.
275
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:13,334
Or because I'm a dancer.
Or when I'm blonde.
276
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,670
Trust me, he'd be like this
with a man too.
277
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,840
Oh, no, sweet child,
he wouldn't.
278
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,134
Those nasty emails
in all caps,
279
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,011
blocking the door
with the table,
280
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,138
you don't do that
when you think you might
get socked in the face.
281
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,558
To be fair, he might use
that old person email program
282
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,268
that's only all caps.
283
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,895
Your dad is a bully.
284
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,148
He yells at my dancers,
he tries to intimidate me,
285
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,442
accuses me of taking
his parking space,
286
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:40,236
which I do.
And guess what?
287
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,739
He's met his match,
and she's wearing a crop top.
288
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,368
Oh, my God, he was right.
289
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,786
You're diabolical.
290
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,205
Sick game
recognizes sick game.
291
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,000
The two tables
is my way of saying,
"Don't screw with me."
292
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,585
God, you should
be a cult leader
293
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,462
'cause I would join.
294
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,839
You know, as long as the cult
had flexible hours too.
295
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,800
Huh.
296
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,969
Well, he saw the tables.
297
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,557
Yeah.
298
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,851
Today's going
to be entertaining.
299
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,491
♪ Let me see you wobble ♪
300
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,702
♪ With the, with the,
with the whole tape ♪
301
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,162
-♪ Can you make it break ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪
302
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:33,539
-♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪
303
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,374
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪
-♪ Let me see you wobble ♪
304
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,126
♪ 'Cause if you do,
I'ma do too ♪
305
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,422
♪ When I move my body
just like this ♪
306
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,674
♪ I don't know why,
but I feel like ♪
307
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,552
♪ Freedom ♪
308
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,305
♪ I hear a song
that takes me back ♪
309
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:54,769
♪ And I let go with
so much freedom ♪
310
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:57,105
♪ Free to live ♪
311
00:14:57,105 --> 00:15:00,942
♪ I'm gon' get,
'cause it's my free-- ♪
312
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,572
Two tables.
There's two tables out there.
313
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,449
This is why I don't like
making compromises.
314
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,992
People just take advantage
of my niceness.
315
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,204
Niceness?
316
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,498
You've been bullying me
ever since I got here.
317
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,959
You don't run things
around here.
318
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,418
I just want you to know
you've made an enemy
319
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,046
and a very powerful enemy--
Aye.
320
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,050
Boy, in my head,
321
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,094
that was a far more
dramatic exit.
322
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,181
-What's wrong with your back?
-I don't know.
323
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:35,768
I did something to it when
I was moving the... the car.
324
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,228
I pushed a car out of the way.
325
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,897
Well, dancers hurt
their lower back all the time.
326
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,524
-Mm-hm.
-This stretch helps.
327
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,609
You have to release
the SI joint, like this.
328
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,574
Well, yeah.
329
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,869
It still hurts.
330
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,745
-Now, you try.
-Ooh.
331
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,169
Like that?
332
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,088
That's not even close.
333
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,048
I'm doing just
what you just did.
334
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,887
-Yeah.
-One.
335
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,140
-There we go.
-Two.
336
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,434
Three.
337
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,521
Okay, not even close.
338
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:21,772
But you're some
sort of athlete.
339
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,983
-Ow.
-Well, yeah.
340
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,861
We have to be.
Just like Ginger Rogers.
341
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,071
She did everything
Fred Astaire did,
but backwards.
342
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,364
And in heels.
343
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,035
You watch old movies too?
344
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,039
My late wife and I
used to love them, yes.
345
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,085
-I'm sorry.
-Thanks.
346
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,131
I lost my husband, too.
347
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,635
-Really?
-To a dancer on TikTok.
348
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,180
Now, they're both dead to me.
349
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,018
Feels better.
350
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,772
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
351
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,359
And I guess...
352
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,111
two picnic tables
aren't the first sign
of the apocalypse.
353
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,573
Riley really likes this job.
354
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,659
I don't want to do anything
to jeopardize it.
355
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:19,538
I-- Maybe I don't need
two picnic tables
out there either.
356
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,998
Damn right.
357
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,000
So, I'll keep one.
358
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,003
Okay, one.
359
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:28,756
Alright. Truce?
360
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,591
Truce.
361
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,308
And maybe stop
cursing at my dancers.
362
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,894
I think that big guy likes it.
363
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:50,528
-What the hell?
-What the hell?
364
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,906
Me agreeing to one table
wasn't enough for you,
365
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,408
so you had to get rid of it?
366
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,784
I didn't take the table.
367
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,995
-You didn't?
-Mr. Parker!
368
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,998
I didn't take the table.
369
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,833
I'll tell you one thing.
This kind of stuff
370
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,168
wouldn't happen up
in the Residences
at Cascade Hills.
371
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,839
You know what?
This has gone too far.
372
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,633
-What?
-I'm sorry I fixed your back.
373
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,010
You know, you're making it
worse right now.
374
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,262
-Good.
-Good?
375
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,848
-Mm.
-It's not gonna be good when
you get the bill from my doctor.
376
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,891
-Mm.
-Once again, this exit--
377
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,811
I know, so much more
dramatic in your head.
378
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,439
-This isn't over.
-This hasn't even begun.
379
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,398
Oh.
380
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,068
They scare me.
381
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:35,031
This talk is important.
382
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,867
Carter can't learn about sex
from that fantasy stuff.
383
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,036
And I can't unsee what I saw.
384
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,290
-Hey, uh, what's up?
-Carter?
385
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,834
I want to talk about women
and their bodies.
386
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,210
-Oh, Mom--
-Sit.
387
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,378
I'm out.
388
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:56,135
The internet is all
about male fantasy.
389
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,554
But I promise you,
there's nothing more exciting
390
00:18:58,554 --> 00:18:59,555
than reality.
391
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,642
As you know, if the egg
gets an X chromosome
392
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,519
from both the male
and female parent,
393
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,938
-the resulting
offspring will be--
-You know what, let me,
394
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,482
-let me take it from here.
I think I have--
-Okay.
395
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,859
- Thank God.
- Okay, listen.
396
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,904
Um... big picture.
397
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,491
Every living thing
is like an engine.
398
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,118
Women's bodies
are like the carburetor
399
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,120
to that engine, right?
400
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,164
They control the fuel
and air mixture,
401
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,749
very important,
but they control
402
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,959
the power to that engine.
403
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,545
-Okay, okay, taking notes.
-Alright.
404
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:35,257
No matter what you've heard,
women have all the power.
405
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,510
They control everything.
Never forget that.
406
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,471
Now who's into fantasy?
407
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:43,307
And we're talking about women
with two wings, right?
408
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,976
Not four wings.
Griffin, not Pegasi, right?
409
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,860
Yeah. Page 49.
410
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,196
Pachyderm reproduction.
Study it.
411
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,168
Screw you,
Old Man Parker.
412
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:12,545
If there's no skating
in the alley,
413
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,963
there's no table
in the alley.
414
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:22,388
It was those meddling kids.
415
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:25,224
Gotta say, "Old Man Parker"
has a nice ring to it.
30776
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof