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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:55,681 Remind me again why we're doing this. 2 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:58,767 Because Belinda was traveling in Tibet, 3 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:01,520 and she feels guilty that she wasn't here when Mom died. 4 00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:03,271 All right. 5 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:06,859 So guilty, it took her two months to get on a plane. 6 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,631 Forget something? 7 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,183 Sorry. 8 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,810 It's okay. 9 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,285 Oh. 10 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,415 What the...? 11 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,793 Why is it so hot in here? 12 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,086 I thought I was having a hot flash. 13 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:18,806 Excuse me. Um, we're here to see... 14 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:21,141 Uh, I forgot his name, actually. 15 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:24,770 Um, I had his business card -- 16 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:27,105 um, the man that's helping us with this? 17 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,483 Um...shit. Uh -- 18 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:33,111 It's okay. Just tell me yours. 19 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:37,825 Uh, Kourtney. We're here, um... 20 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,076 for a cremation. 21 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,911 My -- My mother's cremation. 22 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,914 Our mother's cre-- Our mother's cremation. 23 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,875 -Uh... -So sorry for your loss. 24 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,878 Thank you. She actually died a couple months ago -- 25 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,755 almost a couple months ago. 26 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,007 But my sister -- our sister -- our youngest sister, 27 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,219 she's been traveling in Tibet, she's trying to find herself. 28 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,179 And so, anyway, we're finally here. 29 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:02,432 -She should be here any minute. -Our mother's name was Ramona. 30 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,728 Oh, yeah. Ramona. 31 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,521 Looks like we're almost ready for you guys. 32 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:10,107 You can just take a seat in the waiting room. 33 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,775 Okay. 34 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,652 Is that, uh...? 35 00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,489 It's like right over there. 36 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,494 Like...right there. 37 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,705 - It's fine. - It's clearly labeled. 38 00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:25,956 We must have missed it. 39 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,750 -Thank you. -Sure. 40 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,003 Right here? 41 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,505 Yeah. That one. 42 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,131 Thank you. 43 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,805 Wow. She's fantastic. 44 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:50,480 Ah. Remind me why we're doing this again. 45 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,149 Mm. 46 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:17,257 -Damn it! -What is his name again? 47 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,968 Go ask the receptionist. She was helpful. 48 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:23,764 Oh, yeah. She's kind of cute. Maybe you should ask her. 49 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,225 Don't do that. 50 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,857 Why don't we just call him Grim? Mr. Reaper? 51 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:37,235 He is not death himself. He is a mortician. 52 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:41,574 Please. He's about to flambée our mom like a crème brûlée. 53 00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:43,491 He's at least Reaper once removed. 54 00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:46,704 Hello. Hi. 55 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,371 Dallas. Kourtney. 56 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,248 -Hi. Uh... -Hi. Uh... 57 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,835 Uh, hey. 58 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,837 It's nice to see you both again. 59 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,340 We just need a few more minutes to finish preparing your mom. 60 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,885 And I do apologize about the temperature in here. 61 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:06,348 It's -- I think something's wrong with the thermostat. 62 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:09,351 And does that, uh, affect anything in there? 63 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,269 Oh, yeah. Big time. 64 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,105 -Oh, I... -Well, maybe we shouldn't -- 65 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:15,273 I don't want to see that if she's gonna be... 66 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,025 - How does she look? - Oh, no no, no. 67 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,654 Your mom looks great. She's been in the cooler. 68 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,823 Oh, well, that's good. 69 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,825 But, yeah, anything over 70 degrees, 70 00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:26,326 things happen pretty fast. 71 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,203 You know, decomposition, it's -- it's really 72 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:31,582 the most fascinating thing. 73 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,126 The enzymes, they start to break down -- 74 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,794 Ramona's up. 75 00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:37,087 Excuse me. 76 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,591 Fascinating. 77 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,677 -He really likes his job. -A little too much. 78 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,932 Okay. We're ready. 79 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,559 Please follow me. 80 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,855 Jesus. 81 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,364 We still don't know his name. 82 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,536 Just call him Reaper. 83 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,676 One of the hardest parts is going to be finding 84 00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,427 the right urn for my mom. 85 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,220 I'm sure it will be. 86 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,431 I mean, we can't just pick something random. 87 00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,349 Of course not. 88 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,726 So, I was thinking that, 89 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,269 since my mom is from Trinidad 90 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,104 and I'm going to be taking her home, 91 00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:38,356 maybe a steel-drum urn? 92 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,942 What is that? 93 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:42,027 Oh, you know, like a calypso drum. 94 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,863 Oh, yeah. Do those exist? 95 00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:46,448 Everything exists. 96 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,867 Oh, here we are. 97 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,662 God, why isn't she here yet? 98 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,747 I don't know. She couldn't find a Sherpa 99 00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:55,457 to piggyback her to the airstrip? 100 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:58,919 -Namaste. -Oh, namaste. 101 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,546 We can't do it without her. 102 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,591 I mean, she's the one who wanted this. 103 00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,926 Oh, that's right. That's why we're doing this. 104 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,554 Not for Mom, not for us. 105 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,113 Hey! Hi! 106 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,156 I got here as fast as I could. 107 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,992 Did you walk? 108 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:36,331 -Oh. Hi, honey, I missed you. -Hi! I missed you, too. 109 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,833 Is Peter coming? 110 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,127 Oh, no. He wanted to give us some space. 111 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,754 I don't need space. 112 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:43,213 Well, he's with the kids, 113 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,674 and they are so excited for tomorrow. 114 00:07:45,758 --> 00:07:47,050 What's tomorrow? 115 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,677 Halloween. 116 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:52,347 Jesus. How long are you staying for, exactly? 117 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,432 Am I already unwelcome? 118 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,685 Of course not. 119 00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:58,854 But, seriously, how long? 120 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,981 10 weeks. 121 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,817 10 weeks. Why 10 weeks? 122 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,486 To shepherd the family through the holidays. 123 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,531 Took you two months to get here, 124 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:09,990 and you're the shepherd? 125 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,993 It took me 49 days exactly on purpose, 126 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,412 to allow for the bardo to take place. 127 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,955 The what? 128 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:20,876 Uh, the initial stages of death. It's Buddhist. 129 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,461 I must have missed that day in World Religion. 130 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,798 Didn't you miss all of college? Ha. 131 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,259 What's with the suit? 132 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,554 Dallas had a job interview. 133 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:35,599 Ooh, Lizzy's finally demanding a little alimony, huh? 134 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:38,101 So, what's the hold-up? Where's Mom? 135 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,522 Oh, she's running behind due to the fact that she's deceased. 136 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,231 Well, I know that, but where's her body? 137 00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:44,775 Where's Mitchell? 138 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,610 Oh, Mitch. That's it! 139 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,361 You forgot his name? 140 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,531 How do you know his name? You've been in Tibet. 141 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,283 Well, I called the morgue after she died. 142 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:57,037 - His name is Mitchell Webber. - Or it might be Webber. 143 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,331 - He's German. - Oh, that's just great. 144 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,166 The German's about to put my mom in the oven. 145 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,876 He's an interesting guy. 146 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,712 His parents are from Germany, 147 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,590 he's an avid golfer, and he loves tuna melts. 148 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,800 No one loves tuna melts. 149 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,343 I do. 150 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:14,096 Anyway, we've been talking on the phone. 151 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,388 I thought you didn't have a phone. 152 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,058 I didn't. Then I did. 153 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:21,604 -You bug me. -Clearly. 154 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,898 -Hi, everyone. -Oh. 155 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,109 - Hi, Mitch. - Mitch, hi. 156 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,152 It's Mitchell. 157 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,363 -Hi. -Hi. 158 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,865 You must be Belinda. 159 00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:35,450 It's so nice to finally meet you. 160 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:36,744 Oh! 161 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:42,833 Oh, we have met. Just not in this lifetime. 162 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,756 That's pretty. 163 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,508 Thanks. 164 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,678 Please. 165 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,889 So... 166 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,392 Everything is on schedule. 167 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,394 It'll just be a couple of minutes. 168 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:05,731 I do want to reiterate that this is a witness cremation, 169 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:09,985 and we are completely aware it's a difficult choice to make. 170 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,612 If you've not selected an urn yet, 171 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,363 I'd be happy to sit with you afterwards. 172 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,782 We can go over some options. 173 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,659 Well, that's quite all right, Mitchell. 174 00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,661 We are in the process of finding a nice, little steel-drum urn 175 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:21,664 to put my mom in and take her home to Trinidad. 176 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,625 We are? 177 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:27,335 Yes. It's what she wanted. 178 00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:33,008 Well, all right. Let's get started. 179 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,010 Wait. Is she... 180 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,221 Is she naked? 181 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,848 Excuse me? 182 00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:42,142 She's dead. That's about as naked as you can get. 183 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,602 She's wearing the pajamas she had on 184 00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,063 when the coroner picked her up. 185 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,023 If you'd like to keep them, I can remove the PJs 186 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,650 prior to her entering the crematorium. 187 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,027 No, no, no, no, no, no. Keep -- Keep her dressed. 188 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,362 He's afraid he's going to see her vagina. 189 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,575 -Jesus. God. -What? You are. 190 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,242 I mean, I don't necessarily want to see it either, 191 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,036 but we all came out of it, right? 192 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,330 Oh. I-I actually think you were a C-section. 193 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:04,665 I was? 194 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,167 Your detachment, it's awe-inspiring. 195 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,252 She's staying dressed. 196 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,507 Okay. 197 00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:17,886 I'm going to give you a knock on the door 198 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,263 when it's time to open the blinds. 199 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,807 -Thank you, Mitch. -Thanks. 200 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,226 -Mitchell. -It's Mitchell. 201 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,397 Sorry for your loss. 202 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,733 Thank you. 203 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,454 You brought booze? 204 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:45,914 Didn't everyone? 205 00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:47,750 Absolutely not. 206 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,922 Give me some. 207 00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:56,174 Okay, you know what? Give me some, too. 208 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:13,275 -To Mom. -To Mom. -To Mom. 209 00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:34,421 Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. 210 00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:41,094 Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. 211 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:47,350 Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. 212 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,019 The fuck are you doing? 213 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,189 I'm chanting for Mom. 214 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,441 Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, nam-myoho-ren-- 215 00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:56,359 You find that particularly effective? 216 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,822 It's no different than praying on a rosary. 217 00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,239 Okay. 218 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:06,119 Since you're oblivious... 219 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:09,623 your mother died with this very same rosary 220 00:13:09,707 --> 00:13:11,249 under her pillow. 221 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,711 and another rosary wrapped in her hands. 222 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:16,714 And do you know where those rosaries came from? 223 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:21,844 From her church? Our Catholic church. 224 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:25,598 Wrong. Two churches, one in Italy and one in England. 225 00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:28,934 I sent Mom a rosary from nearly every church 226 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,769 I went to on my travels. 227 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:32,605 Oh, I see. And so you know exactly -- 228 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,022 -No, no, no, no, no, no, no. -Yeah. 229 00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,273 -How would you know that? -I was there. 230 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,109 -No! Unh -- No. -You were there? 231 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,528 -No, no, no! -Oh, she's a fucking spiritual mystic. 232 00:13:39,612 --> 00:13:42,280 If we're going to have a pissing contest over Mom, 233 00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:43,532 I'm going to kick you both out. 234 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:56,754 Okay. I think we need to, uh, lift the blinds. 235 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,964 -Do we? -Yeah. 236 00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:07,097 Dallas? 237 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,808 Why don't we let the shepherd do the honors? 238 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,898 Fine. 239 00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:38,962 Hey, Mom. 240 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,259 It's okay. It's just... 241 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:48,681 Oh, she... 242 00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:52,518 She looks like she's asleep, Bellie. 243 00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:55,604 Yeah, she... 244 00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:58,231 She looks okay, right? 245 00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:00,442 Yeah. Come here, sweetie. 246 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,159 Hey. 247 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,928 Um... 248 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:13,098 Do you know any place around here that serves tuna melts? 249 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,228 Oh, that is so embarrassing! 250 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,147 And further proving my point that high school 251 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,816 is really a diabolical social experiment. 252 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:25,485 And the crush? 253 00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:28,739 Well, let's just say we didn't go to prom together. 254 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,407 Sad. 255 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,286 Oh, it's that one on the right. 256 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,126 Uh, I'll get your bag. 257 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:04,942 Oh, wow. Cool graveyard. 258 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,694 I love the rain. 259 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,866 So, our tuna melts and deep conversation, 260 00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,535 that was part of the cremation package? 261 00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:18,706 Uh, n-not always. That'd be a lot of tuna melts. 262 00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:20,415 Yeah. 263 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,084 So you grew up here? 264 00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:26,547 Yeah. Since -- Since I was four. 265 00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:28,465 My dad died when I was seven, 266 00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,509 and then eventually we all moved out. 267 00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:35,472 But in an odd twist of fate, here we all are again. 268 00:17:35,556 --> 00:17:38,266 Not for long, though. 269 00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:41,353 It's a nice house. 270 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:44,272 I'm a little afraid to go in. 271 00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,233 You don't have to rush. 272 00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:17,115 "Picking up my dead mom"? 273 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,909 Can you believe she would say that? 274 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,578 So ridiculous. 275 00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:23,496 -Hey, there. -Hey. Where are the kids? 276 00:19:23,581 --> 00:19:26,208 There's some guy in a creepy white van outside 277 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,293 selling ice cream, so I gave them a 10-spot 278 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,045 and told them to go with God. 279 00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:33,298 You are so inappropriate. They're with Peter's parents. 280 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:34,758 What's in the box? 281 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,344 Mom. 282 00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:40,514 -Mom? -Yeah. 283 00:19:40,598 --> 00:19:42,307 Mom's in the box? 284 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,935 Yeah, I picked her up from the morgue this afternoon. 285 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:48,689 I buckled her in the front seat, and I swear I could hear her 286 00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:51,233 criticizing my driving, just like always. 287 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,153 - She fits in there? - Who fits in where? 288 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:58,198 Your mom. She's in that box. 289 00:19:58,281 --> 00:19:59,617 She fits in there? 290 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,535 Better than you fit in that top. 291 00:20:01,619 --> 00:20:03,286 This is how it's supposed to fit. 292 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,955 Yeah, if it's too small. 293 00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,874 -I think it looks -- -Oh, watch it. 294 00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:08,959 I was just going to say ravishing. 295 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,210 Oh, yeah. 296 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,461 -Come here. -Hi, Peter. 297 00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:12,963 It's so good to see you! 298 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,381 I want to hear all about Tibet. 299 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:15,716 -Yes. -Yeah, except for, 300 00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:16,884 you gotta pick up the kids. 301 00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:18,343 But duty calls. 302 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,845 And don't let them have any candy yet. 303 00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:22,556 Aye, aye, captain. I shall return... 304 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,475 right after I find that jar with me balls in it. 305 00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:28,436 -Good luck with that. -Love you! 306 00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:31,106 Sounded sincere. 307 00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:33,275 Ah. Peter and I are perfectly happy. 308 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,027 Yeah. Sounds like bliss. 309 00:20:35,152 --> 00:20:37,404 Maybe if you didn't prance around the house half naked 310 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,739 in front of your brother-in-law? 311 00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:40,616 Ugh, Judgy McJudgerson. 312 00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,450 Whatever, Wicked Witch of the Whatever. 313 00:20:42,535 --> 00:20:44,036 Yeah. 314 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,830 Peter's known me since I was a kid, Dallas. 315 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,959 Well, I think you look cute. 316 00:20:58,133 --> 00:20:59,718 Hi, Mom. 317 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:27,037 So, I figured that I would stay until February, 318 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,789 and then we could all jump on a plane, 319 00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:30,999 take Mom to Trinidad just in time for Easter. 320 00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:32,918 She doesn't want to go to Trinidad. 321 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:35,588 Of course she does, Dallas. It was her home. 322 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:36,922 This is her home. 323 00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,257 Not really. Not since Dad died. 324 00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:42,761 Yes, this is her home. And it will always be her home. 325 00:21:42,845 --> 00:21:46,807 Can we just agree to disagree for the moment? It's Halloween. 326 00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,727 Fine. But I'm not going trick-or-treating with my young daughter 327 00:21:49,810 --> 00:21:51,770 while my sister is dressed like a whore. 328 00:21:54,607 --> 00:21:56,024 What is this? Your laundry? 329 00:21:56,108 --> 00:21:58,986 It's your costume. In honor of her Nani, 330 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:01,697 Jessica would like us all to go as ghosts. 331 00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:04,282 Oh, that's a little dark for a 12-year-old, isn't it? 332 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:08,370 No, it's perfectly spiritual, and I am happy to oblige. 333 00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:12,415 -Oh, I'll get it. -I'll get it. 334 00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:22,425 Kourtney. 335 00:22:29,558 --> 00:22:30,851 Mitch. 336 00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:33,020 Uh, it's Mitchell. Hi. 337 00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:34,813 Well -- Well, is everything okay? 338 00:22:34,897 --> 00:22:36,398 Did -- Did I pick up the right box? 339 00:22:36,481 --> 00:22:37,941 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 340 00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:39,527 - Oh, hey! - Hey. 341 00:22:39,610 --> 00:22:40,736 How was golf? 342 00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:42,362 Oh, it was great. I made an eagle. 343 00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:45,699 -What did you make it out of? -You look amazing. 344 00:22:45,783 --> 00:22:46,867 Hey. 345 00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:53,498 I'm going to go check on Jessica. 346 00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:58,962 What is up his butt? 347 00:22:59,087 --> 00:23:02,049 Mitchell, would you -- would you like a beer? 348 00:23:02,132 --> 00:23:03,717 Sure. Thanks. 349 00:23:03,801 --> 00:23:06,679 Okay. Belinda, will you help me get him a beer? 350 00:23:06,762 --> 00:23:08,639 -Sure. Okay. -Okay. 351 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:11,016 I'll be right back. 352 00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:13,351 Make yourself at home! 353 00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:18,106 Surprise. Surprise is up his butt. 354 00:23:18,190 --> 00:23:20,568 Well, he doesn't have to be such a dick about it. 355 00:23:20,651 --> 00:23:22,110 Oh, come on! 356 00:23:22,194 --> 00:23:25,280 In the span of a year, Dallas has lost his job, 357 00:23:25,363 --> 00:23:27,741 his bitch of a wife cheated on him 358 00:23:27,825 --> 00:23:29,952 and left him alone to be a single father, 359 00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:33,706 his beloved mother died, and now his baby sister 360 00:23:33,789 --> 00:23:37,793 is making out with the man that turned our mother to ash. 361 00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:41,421 Huh! Maybe it's fitting, as it is Halloween and all. 362 00:23:42,923 --> 00:23:44,842 Do you have something against Mitchell? 363 00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:47,427 No. I mean, it's just odd. 364 00:23:47,511 --> 00:23:49,096 He's an odd guy. 365 00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:50,764 I mean, what's with the "Mitchell" thing? 366 00:23:50,848 --> 00:23:52,307 It's his name. 367 00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:54,184 Yeah, but he's so anal about it. 368 00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:56,311 Why does it bother you so much? 369 00:23:56,394 --> 00:23:59,607 Uh, 'cause sometimes I don't feel like using two syllables 370 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:01,441 when I can use one. 371 00:24:01,525 --> 00:24:03,193 Well, it doesn't make him odd. 372 00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:05,487 A lot of people like to be called by their full name. 373 00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:08,323 Oh, whatever. He's odd for other reasons. 374 00:24:08,406 --> 00:24:10,743 He -- He deals with death all the time. 375 00:24:10,826 --> 00:24:12,452 It's more than I can say for us. 376 00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:14,913 -Oh, whatever. -I have to pee. 377 00:24:19,001 --> 00:24:21,211 -Mitchell. -Thank you. 378 00:24:26,759 --> 00:24:29,803 Are you -- Are you really interested in this guy? 379 00:24:29,887 --> 00:24:31,930 I mean, you just met him yesterday. 380 00:24:32,014 --> 00:24:33,891 Yeah. We connected. 381 00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:35,684 You connected how? 382 00:24:35,768 --> 00:24:38,478 We grabbed a tuna melt after the cremation. 383 00:24:38,562 --> 00:24:40,022 Oh, that's mildly disgusting. 384 00:24:40,105 --> 00:24:42,190 It is not. 385 00:24:42,274 --> 00:24:43,734 Just -- Can we just get off 386 00:24:43,817 --> 00:24:46,570 the Mitchell thing for a little while? 387 00:24:46,654 --> 00:24:49,406 Okay, fine, fine. 388 00:24:50,533 --> 00:24:53,410 Don't flush. I got it. 389 00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,954 So I was thinking, 390 00:24:56,038 --> 00:24:57,623 we should book our flights. 391 00:24:57,706 --> 00:24:59,082 Book our flights? 392 00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:01,877 Yeah, to Trinidad to take Mom home. 393 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,172 Dallas just said he wanted Mom to stay here. 394 00:25:05,255 --> 00:25:08,676 Oh! Maybe he's just not grown up enough to have a passport. 395 00:25:08,759 --> 00:25:10,761 Well, that's totally unfair, Bellie. 396 00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:12,805 Is it? 397 00:25:12,888 --> 00:25:16,642 I mean, no, actually, it's kind of true. 398 00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:19,144 But... 399 00:25:19,227 --> 00:25:22,523 Dallas always had it harder than we have. 400 00:25:22,606 --> 00:25:24,441 In what way? 401 00:25:24,525 --> 00:25:27,069 Well, let's start out with being a boy growing up 402 00:25:27,152 --> 00:25:28,737 without a dad. 403 00:25:28,821 --> 00:25:31,448 Oh, so having a penis makes the childhood trauma 404 00:25:31,532 --> 00:25:34,785 of losing your father worse than it would be if you had a vagina? 405 00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:38,205 Uh, why do you always have to bring up your genitals? 406 00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:40,123 Oh, God. 407 00:25:40,207 --> 00:25:42,626 I did not bring up my genitals. 408 00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:44,461 You said "penis" and "vagina." 409 00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:48,549 And you did not wash your hands. 410 00:25:48,632 --> 00:25:50,467 I need a drink. 411 00:25:53,512 --> 00:25:56,223 Okay, stop it. You're -- You're all about shock. 412 00:25:56,306 --> 00:25:59,852 You like to fling out sex to make everyone uncomfortable. 413 00:25:59,935 --> 00:26:02,229 I did not fling out sex. 414 00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:04,815 Although I am curious what flinging out sex looks like. 415 00:26:04,898 --> 00:26:07,860 All I said was it's harder for a boy to grow up 416 00:26:07,943 --> 00:26:10,696 without a father than a girl, and then you have to 417 00:26:10,779 --> 00:26:12,906 bring up your vagina. 418 00:26:12,990 --> 00:26:15,659 I mean, like, as if it isn't the most talked-about subject 419 00:26:15,743 --> 00:26:16,910 in your life. 420 00:26:16,994 --> 00:26:19,705 -Vagina. -Oh, really?! 421 00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:25,460 -Hey. -Hey. 422 00:26:25,544 --> 00:26:27,462 Did you take your mom out yet? 423 00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:29,214 Take her out where? Dancing? 424 00:26:29,297 --> 00:26:30,966 No, just out of the box. 425 00:26:31,049 --> 00:26:33,385 -All right, let's trick-or-treat. 426 00:26:33,468 --> 00:26:35,971 So, I was just asking the girls 427 00:26:36,054 --> 00:26:37,931 if you took a look at your mom. 428 00:26:40,017 --> 00:26:42,144 I can't believe you're dating this fucking guy. 429 00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:44,146 Uh, Dallas, that is a bubble thought. 430 00:26:44,229 --> 00:26:45,397 What's a bubble thought? 431 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:46,690 Bubble thoughts are thoughts 432 00:26:46,774 --> 00:26:48,316 that are better kept to yourself. 433 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,235 My mom used to call them "bubble thoughts." 434 00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:51,904 Like the characters in cartoons? 435 00:26:51,987 --> 00:26:53,989 - I don't have a bubble. - Never did. 436 00:26:54,072 --> 00:26:56,659 Yeah. Let's go, Jess! 437 00:26:56,742 --> 00:27:00,328 I'm sorry. I'm -- I'm not trying to make anyone upset. 438 00:27:00,412 --> 00:27:02,831 Eh, Dallas was born upset. 439 00:27:02,915 --> 00:27:04,875 What -- What am I supposed to do with this? 440 00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:06,126 She's coming with us. 441 00:27:06,209 --> 00:27:08,253 Well, then you take her. 442 00:27:17,387 --> 00:27:20,057 Jess. Costume? 443 00:27:20,140 --> 00:27:21,809 Oh, yeah. Thanks, Dad. 444 00:27:21,892 --> 00:27:24,853 After I fall down the stairs. Can you hold that? 445 00:27:26,814 --> 00:27:28,649 Wow. What do we got? Some ghost costumes? 446 00:27:28,732 --> 00:27:30,192 Oh, yeah. 447 00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:31,694 - Here you go, guys. - Hi, Victor. 448 00:27:31,777 --> 00:27:32,861 - How you doing? - That's awesome. 449 00:27:32,945 --> 00:27:34,863 Hey! Happy Halloween! 450 00:27:34,947 --> 00:27:36,448 - Hi, Mama. - He's creepy. 451 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:38,075 That's creepy? Oh, no. 452 00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:40,452 - Declan, what's up? - You're weird. 453 00:27:40,536 --> 00:27:42,037 I am weird. 454 00:27:43,539 --> 00:27:45,666 Oh! Peter, this is Mitchell. 455 00:27:45,749 --> 00:27:47,417 -Hey. -He cremated my mom. 456 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:51,505 Wow. That's somehow, um, very appropriate for tonight. 457 00:27:51,589 --> 00:27:53,423 Come on, let's go trick-or-treating! 458 00:27:53,507 --> 00:27:55,968 - That sounds sweet. - All right, let's go. 459 00:27:56,051 --> 00:27:59,722 We're bringing Mom in a box. That's awesome. Wow! 460 00:27:59,805 --> 00:28:01,306 Kourtney, are you not wearing your costume? 461 00:28:01,389 --> 00:28:03,350 - Nope. - Oh, great. 462 00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:05,185 Glad I made it for you. 463 00:28:05,268 --> 00:28:07,437 Ha, ha! Aah! 464 00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,108 - Careful! - Let's go in here. 465 00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:15,863 Come on. Let's go. Let's go ring the bell. 466 00:28:15,946 --> 00:28:17,698 Let's ring the bell. 467 00:28:17,781 --> 00:28:19,074 Let me do it. 468 00:28:19,157 --> 00:28:22,703 Okay. Right, ring, ring, ring! 469 00:28:25,706 --> 00:28:27,916 Let's go over here. 470 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,042 Ready? What'd you get? 471 00:28:29,126 --> 00:28:31,419 What'd you get? 472 00:28:31,504 --> 00:28:35,799 Auntie Bellie, let's go before they run out of all the peanut butter cups. 473 00:28:35,883 --> 00:28:38,511 Okay, sweetie. Let's go. 474 00:28:38,594 --> 00:28:40,846 - Here. - What's this? 475 00:28:40,929 --> 00:28:43,181 Hey, guys, wait up! I'm coming! 476 00:28:43,265 --> 00:28:44,391 Hang on! 477 00:28:46,519 --> 00:28:49,354 - Now let's go over here. - So, are you a golfer? 478 00:28:51,774 --> 00:28:53,609 I wouldn't call it that, no. 479 00:28:53,692 --> 00:28:56,486 What's your handicap? 480 00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:57,863 What's yours? 481 00:28:57,946 --> 00:28:59,615 Oh, I asked you first. 482 00:28:59,698 --> 00:29:01,491 You burned my mom. 483 00:29:01,575 --> 00:29:04,537 Let's go to this one. Let's go to this one. Yes! 484 00:29:04,620 --> 00:29:06,705 I'm a two. 485 00:29:06,789 --> 00:29:10,167 Yeah? Now I hate you. 486 00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:11,835 Over a 10? 487 00:29:13,962 --> 00:29:16,423 I guess I'd be better if I practiced more. 488 00:29:16,507 --> 00:29:20,427 I know the head pro at the club. I can get us a time. 489 00:29:20,511 --> 00:29:23,096 Yeah, greens fees aren't really in my alimony budget. 490 00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:26,559 No greens fees. It's a family connection. 491 00:29:26,642 --> 00:29:29,603 Oh, I see. So, now that you're fucking my sister, 492 00:29:29,687 --> 00:29:32,022 we're practically family, is that it? 493 00:29:35,442 --> 00:29:37,235 What's going on? 494 00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:40,322 Nothing. Mitch and I are just bonding. 495 00:29:40,405 --> 00:29:42,365 Is my brother being a dick? 496 00:29:42,449 --> 00:29:43,701 No. 497 00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:45,285 Okay, well, we gotta go, guys. 498 00:29:45,368 --> 00:29:47,412 Peter and Kourtney are, like, three houses up. 499 00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,540 -Why didn't they wait? -It's okay, Dallas. 500 00:29:49,623 --> 00:29:54,587 -We'll just catch up. -No, we won't, 'cause -- 501 00:29:58,256 --> 00:30:00,509 'Cause Mom can't move that fast? 502 00:30:03,345 --> 00:30:05,889 It's okay, Dallas. It happens. 503 00:30:05,973 --> 00:30:09,518 I mean, I-I still try to call her at least twice a day. 504 00:30:09,602 --> 00:30:11,269 Fuck this. 505 00:30:16,817 --> 00:30:19,945 What's happening? 506 00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:22,239 I think Dallas needs a minute. 507 00:30:23,991 --> 00:30:27,119 You had to bring the fucking box, didn't you? 508 00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:30,956 "The fucking box" is our fucking mother. 509 00:30:31,039 --> 00:30:34,585 And she likes to trick-or-treat. 510 00:30:34,668 --> 00:30:37,963 Auntie Bellie, aren't you coming? 511 00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:40,966 Hey, Jess. Yeah, I'll -- I'll walk you down. 512 00:30:43,343 --> 00:30:46,972 Hey, Jess, this is Mitchell. He cremated your Nani. 513 00:31:30,057 --> 00:31:33,602 She had to... fucking bring her? 514 00:31:33,686 --> 00:31:37,314 Belinda deals with death differently than we do. 515 00:31:37,397 --> 00:31:40,859 I -- To her, Mom isn't gone. 516 00:31:40,943 --> 00:31:45,781 She's...changed forms. 517 00:31:45,864 --> 00:31:48,241 Fucking bullshit. 518 00:31:53,038 --> 00:31:55,791 Fucking bullshit. 519 00:32:03,841 --> 00:32:06,176 Happy Halloween, Ma. 520 00:33:02,858 --> 00:33:04,234 Oh. 521 00:34:30,863 --> 00:34:34,575 Ohh, look who it is. 522 00:34:34,658 --> 00:34:35,784 Dallas. 523 00:34:35,868 --> 00:34:39,788 Mitch-ell. 524 00:34:39,872 --> 00:34:43,333 Did Hades give you a hall pass? 525 00:34:43,416 --> 00:34:44,918 I'm actually meeting your sister here, 526 00:34:45,002 --> 00:34:49,840 although she tends to run late most of the time. 527 00:34:49,923 --> 00:34:51,341 Buy you a beer? 528 00:34:51,424 --> 00:34:53,886 Oh, I'm not that kind of girl, Mitchell. 529 00:34:53,969 --> 00:34:57,097 But I'll buy you one. Hey, Mike. 530 00:34:57,180 --> 00:34:59,182 - Yo! - Two more whiskeys, please. 531 00:34:59,266 --> 00:35:01,602 - Got it. - Thanks. 532 00:35:01,685 --> 00:35:03,771 Hey, you know, uh, I was thinking about 533 00:35:03,854 --> 00:35:07,357 what we were talking about the other day, about your golf game? 534 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,442 Maybe you just need a new set of clubs. 535 00:35:09,527 --> 00:35:14,322 Maybe. Maybe you just need a new girlfriend. 536 00:35:14,406 --> 00:35:17,576 Maybe you shouldn't poke your nose in other people's business. 537 00:35:17,660 --> 00:35:20,453 Maybe. Oh, one's his. 538 00:35:20,538 --> 00:35:21,914 Thank you. Mike. 539 00:35:21,997 --> 00:35:25,125 -Enjoy. -Thanks. 540 00:35:25,208 --> 00:35:28,420 Maybe I'm just being protective. 541 00:35:28,504 --> 00:35:31,006 Protective of what? 542 00:35:31,089 --> 00:35:33,383 Oh, you know, Mitchell. 543 00:35:33,466 --> 00:35:35,511 All it really takes is a tuna melt 544 00:35:35,594 --> 00:35:38,931 and a box of tissues to get a grieving girl to -- 545 00:35:39,014 --> 00:35:40,516 Don't question my integrity. 546 00:35:42,518 --> 00:35:44,645 Your integrity? 547 00:35:44,728 --> 00:35:46,689 You burn people for a living. 548 00:35:46,772 --> 00:35:49,692 Where's the integrity in that? 549 00:35:49,775 --> 00:35:52,194 Well, cremation, it's not a violent act. 550 00:35:52,277 --> 00:35:55,447 And, by the way, you chose to witness. 551 00:35:55,531 --> 00:36:00,786 No, I didn't. No, my lunatic baby sister chose to witness. 552 00:36:00,869 --> 00:36:03,956 -Lunatic? -And my holier-than-thou 553 00:36:04,039 --> 00:36:06,041 older sister wouldn't let me back out 554 00:36:06,124 --> 00:36:08,418 because loony sister would then be traumatized. 555 00:36:08,501 --> 00:36:11,839 But you know who's traumatized, Mitch? 556 00:36:11,922 --> 00:36:16,635 I am. And I blame you and your bad-hair, 557 00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,054 weirdo, Grim Reaper, death-loving ass 558 00:36:19,137 --> 00:36:22,600 for even letting a family witness a thing like that. 559 00:36:22,683 --> 00:36:25,769 Wow. You really don't have a bubble, do you? 560 00:36:25,853 --> 00:36:28,271 -No, I don't. -No, you really don't. 561 00:36:28,355 --> 00:36:31,483 You said that. 562 00:36:31,567 --> 00:36:33,986 All right, look. 563 00:36:34,069 --> 00:36:35,362 Despite the fact that she's going to take 564 00:36:35,445 --> 00:36:38,616 another half an hour to get ready, 565 00:36:38,699 --> 00:36:40,743 I like your sister, Dallas. 566 00:36:43,245 --> 00:36:46,832 Mm. 567 00:36:46,915 --> 00:36:49,084 Well... 568 00:36:49,167 --> 00:36:50,628 Belinda's had a tough time 569 00:36:50,711 --> 00:36:53,005 figuring out the whole relationship thing. 570 00:36:54,882 --> 00:36:57,050 She's been through a lot of shit. 571 00:36:59,177 --> 00:37:05,058 It sounds to me like you two might have something in common. 572 00:37:07,269 --> 00:37:09,772 Yeah, maybe. 573 00:37:09,855 --> 00:37:11,314 If I come sit over there, 574 00:37:11,398 --> 00:37:13,609 can you keep yourself from getting all handsy? 575 00:37:15,027 --> 00:37:16,862 I can't make any promises. 576 00:37:16,945 --> 00:37:19,447 I'm definitely coming over there now. 577 00:37:28,582 --> 00:37:30,292 Cheers. 578 00:37:37,465 --> 00:37:38,967 Bye, Mikey. 579 00:37:51,689 --> 00:37:52,940 Ah! 580 00:37:55,526 --> 00:37:57,570 Hi! 581 00:37:57,653 --> 00:37:59,780 -Okay. Okay. Okay. -Ah! 582 00:37:59,863 --> 00:38:01,031 I'll see you later. 583 00:38:01,114 --> 00:38:02,575 -Don't drive. -Ah. 584 00:38:02,658 --> 00:38:03,826 Walk. 585 00:38:06,537 --> 00:38:07,996 Hey, I read your blog. 586 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,707 -Yeah? -Yeah. It's cool. 587 00:38:09,790 --> 00:38:12,042 How'd you get into all that? 588 00:38:12,125 --> 00:38:14,628 Well, let's see. I have no practical skills, 589 00:38:14,712 --> 00:38:19,758 but I love yoga, so naturally I blog. 590 00:38:19,842 --> 00:38:22,595 How'd you get in the business of death? 591 00:38:22,678 --> 00:38:24,680 It's a long story. 592 00:38:26,599 --> 00:38:28,726 You know, this is really beautiful. 593 00:38:31,687 --> 00:38:33,897 Thanks. So are you. 594 00:38:33,981 --> 00:38:36,316 -Really? -What? 595 00:38:36,399 --> 00:38:37,985 Do you have a PhD in cheese? 596 00:38:38,068 --> 00:38:40,403 Yes, I do, actually. I got my -- 597 00:38:40,487 --> 00:38:43,365 I wrote my thesis on how "Gouda" it gets 598 00:38:43,448 --> 00:38:45,743 when you're trying to compliment your way into a kiss. 599 00:38:45,826 --> 00:38:48,954 Are you sure it wasn't, um, 600 00:38:49,037 --> 00:38:51,790 how to be humble when trying to get laid? 601 00:38:51,874 --> 00:38:53,250 Oh, is that what I'm trying to do? 602 00:38:53,333 --> 00:38:54,710 Is it? I don't know. 603 00:38:54,793 --> 00:38:58,296 -Mm. -Maybe? Mm-hmm. 604 00:39:09,892 --> 00:39:11,476 - What? - Oh, shit. 605 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:13,061 - Grab it. - Oh. Oh, my God. 606 00:39:22,070 --> 00:39:24,114 Wait, wait, wait. 607 00:39:32,497 --> 00:39:34,542 Okay. All right. 608 00:39:34,625 --> 00:39:36,001 - Waaah. - Oh, my God. 609 00:39:36,084 --> 00:39:38,045 What are you doing with your hair down? 610 00:39:38,128 --> 00:39:40,338 It's fine. I've never gotten hair in food in my life. 611 00:39:40,422 --> 00:39:41,840 You have so much hair, for God sake. 612 00:39:41,924 --> 00:39:43,466 Oh, my Lord. Kourtney, Jesus. 613 00:39:55,688 --> 00:39:58,607 Who has woken me from my slumber? 614 00:40:00,734 --> 00:40:02,695 -Come on! -Whoa, whoa, whoa! 615 00:40:02,778 --> 00:40:04,863 Guys! Guys! Slow down. 616 00:40:04,947 --> 00:40:06,699 Right after I have this cookie right here. 617 00:40:06,782 --> 00:40:08,033 -Shh. -Of course, Mom. 618 00:40:08,116 --> 00:40:10,869 Thank you. Much-needed cookie break. 619 00:40:10,953 --> 00:40:14,122 Looks like you know what you're doing, Mitchell. 620 00:40:14,206 --> 00:40:17,000 Yeah. Taking skin off is one of my specialties. 621 00:40:17,084 --> 00:40:19,920 How the hell did Mom do this? 622 00:40:20,003 --> 00:40:24,216 Hello in there. I'm going to name him Ferdinand. 623 00:40:24,299 --> 00:40:26,844 Okay, well, let's get him in the oven. Okay? 624 00:40:26,927 --> 00:40:29,262 Some good cookies in there. 625 00:40:29,346 --> 00:40:31,724 -Any more of those? -Mm-hmm. 626 00:40:31,807 --> 00:40:33,601 I'd have brought them in, 627 00:40:33,684 --> 00:40:35,894 but it's every man for himself in this outfit. 628 00:40:35,978 --> 00:40:37,229 Clearly. 629 00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:49,992 You got it? 630 00:40:50,075 --> 00:40:54,622 One over there, and then just go around the table. 631 00:40:54,705 --> 00:40:56,790 Yeah. 632 00:40:56,874 --> 00:41:00,586 Nice work. You rock. 633 00:41:00,669 --> 00:41:02,921 - Let's do it. - -Everybody, we're good to go. 634 00:41:03,005 --> 00:41:04,297 Dinner! 635 00:41:09,094 --> 00:41:10,262 - Aww. - Wow. 636 00:41:10,345 --> 00:41:12,598 -Sit over here? -Looks good. 637 00:41:12,681 --> 00:41:13,724 -Looks great. -Wow! 638 00:41:13,807 --> 00:41:15,142 Yeah. 639 00:41:19,730 --> 00:41:22,858 All right. 640 00:41:22,941 --> 00:41:24,735 All right. Here we go. 641 00:41:24,818 --> 00:41:27,029 This is awesome. This is awesome. 642 00:41:27,112 --> 00:41:29,322 Peter, thanks. This is amazing. 643 00:41:29,406 --> 00:41:31,074 Should we say grace? 644 00:41:31,158 --> 00:41:34,745 Uh...yeah. Let's say grace. 645 00:41:34,828 --> 00:41:35,871 -Okay. -Okay. 646 00:41:35,954 --> 00:41:38,248 Follow me. 647 00:41:38,331 --> 00:41:43,170 Okay, so should we open the Jaffurs or the? 648 00:41:43,253 --> 00:41:45,422 Let's open both. 649 00:41:45,506 --> 00:41:48,842 You're going to fit in this family just fine, you know that? 650 00:41:53,639 --> 00:41:55,265 That was nice. 651 00:41:55,348 --> 00:41:57,434 Yeah, but we should hurry back before those savages 652 00:41:57,518 --> 00:41:59,436 eat all the Rice-A-Roni. 653 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,855 Oh, God! 654 00:42:03,273 --> 00:42:06,193 - Are you okay? - Oh. Fuck. 655 00:42:06,276 --> 00:42:07,903 - Whoa. Dallas. - What is going on? 656 00:42:07,986 --> 00:42:10,155 God. You tried to kill me. 657 00:42:10,238 --> 00:42:12,991 -Not consciously. -Did you swallow it? 658 00:42:13,075 --> 00:42:14,535 - No, I spit it out. - Spit what out? 659 00:42:14,618 --> 00:42:16,411 -You tell me. -I don't know. 660 00:42:16,494 --> 00:42:17,913 How the hell did this happen? 661 00:42:17,996 --> 00:42:19,414 I'll tell you how it happened. 662 00:42:19,497 --> 00:42:21,041 Three mimosas later, Belinda became an expert 663 00:42:21,124 --> 00:42:22,500 on Thanksgiving turkeys, 664 00:42:22,585 --> 00:42:24,211 and you decided to let her take over. 665 00:42:24,294 --> 00:42:26,338 Yeah. Kourtney asked me to stuff the turkey, so I did. 666 00:42:26,421 --> 00:42:28,716 I asked you to sew up the turkey's butt. 667 00:42:28,799 --> 00:42:30,300 - And I did. - Well, then, 668 00:42:30,383 --> 00:42:32,260 how did the needle end up in the stuffing? 669 00:42:32,344 --> 00:42:34,763 Oh, my God. Did you eat the needle, Dallas? 670 00:42:34,847 --> 00:42:36,599 How'd you work that one out, Mitch? 671 00:42:36,682 --> 00:42:39,392 Okay. I was sewing up the turkey's butt, 672 00:42:39,476 --> 00:42:41,770 just like Mom used to, and then I went to look 673 00:42:41,854 --> 00:42:44,565 for a pair of scissors to cut the needle off, and I... 674 00:42:44,648 --> 00:42:47,735 I think I might have gotten distracted, and I-I don't know. 675 00:42:47,818 --> 00:42:49,820 God. 676 00:42:49,903 --> 00:42:52,030 Belinda, why didn't you just rip it off? 677 00:42:52,114 --> 00:42:54,324 - Because she was trying to kill me. -No, I wasn't. 678 00:42:54,407 --> 00:42:55,576 I told you, 679 00:42:55,659 --> 00:42:57,035 I went to look for the scissors. 680 00:42:57,119 --> 00:42:58,662 Yeah, right. You and Mitch are probably 681 00:42:58,746 --> 00:43:00,455 trying to drum up more business for the mortuary. 682 00:43:00,539 --> 00:43:02,082 All right, that's not funny. 683 00:43:02,165 --> 00:43:04,334 - It's kind of funny. - What the fuck? 684 00:43:05,878 --> 00:43:07,838 Dallas, are you okay? 685 00:43:07,921 --> 00:43:10,465 Fine. Yeah. 686 00:43:10,549 --> 00:43:14,970 I'm going to go finish my meal. 687 00:43:15,053 --> 00:43:17,640 That is, if no one left a switchblade in the sweet potatoes? 688 00:43:17,723 --> 00:43:18,891 I didn't make the sweet potatoes. 689 00:43:18,974 --> 00:43:20,058 Mitchell did. 690 00:43:20,142 --> 00:43:23,270 Oh, great. We're all fucked. 691 00:43:26,524 --> 00:43:29,610 Hey, could you go bring out the, uh, wine for me, babe? 692 00:43:31,529 --> 00:43:33,196 Sure it's safe? 693 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:34,948 Not at all. 694 00:43:42,455 --> 00:43:44,625 Okay. 695 00:43:44,708 --> 00:43:50,756 Let's just get a pie out and get ready for dessert. Okay? 696 00:43:50,839 --> 00:43:53,466 You're moving on to pie after that? 697 00:43:53,551 --> 00:43:55,260 Are you a robot? 698 00:43:55,343 --> 00:43:57,638 Stop trying to pick a fight. 699 00:43:57,721 --> 00:44:00,348 Okay. Why don't you tell me where Mom is? 700 00:44:00,432 --> 00:44:01,767 You had her ashes here on Halloween. 701 00:44:01,850 --> 00:44:03,561 I haven't seen them since. 702 00:44:03,644 --> 00:44:05,688 Are you just hoarding them like you hoard 703 00:44:05,771 --> 00:44:07,940 every other possession from my childhood? 704 00:44:08,023 --> 00:44:10,568 I-I had a childhood, too, Belinda, 705 00:44:10,651 --> 00:44:13,571 and -- and I kept things because they meant something to me. 706 00:44:13,654 --> 00:44:15,614 And -- And you ran from them. 707 00:44:15,698 --> 00:44:18,325 Now you want to come back and claim some ownership 708 00:44:18,408 --> 00:44:20,869 of a mother that Dallas and I took care of 709 00:44:20,953 --> 00:44:25,666 while you smoked drugs and rode weird animals in some cult? 710 00:44:25,749 --> 00:44:28,752 Oh, for God's sake, Kourtney, elephants are not weird animals. 711 00:44:28,836 --> 00:44:31,589 Okay, what are you -- what are you trying to prove? 712 00:44:31,672 --> 00:44:33,841 That your facade doesn't ever crack. 713 00:44:33,924 --> 00:44:35,718 In the entire time that I have been here, 714 00:44:35,801 --> 00:44:38,136 I've never even seen you cry. 715 00:44:38,220 --> 00:44:41,139 -I cry. -Not in front of me. 716 00:44:41,223 --> 00:44:43,141 Well, why would I? 717 00:44:43,225 --> 00:44:46,144 Why -- Why would I want to upstage Meryl fucking Streep 718 00:44:46,228 --> 00:44:47,813 in her award-winning pain? 719 00:44:47,896 --> 00:44:50,190 Okay. Oh, there you go. Get ugly. 720 00:44:50,273 --> 00:44:51,859 You know what? 721 00:44:51,942 --> 00:44:54,820 I don't want to do this anymore. I have pie to serve. 722 00:44:54,903 --> 00:44:58,115 Ugh. All right, go serve your pie, Jackie O. 723 00:44:58,198 --> 00:45:00,450 Don't -- Don't don't worry about your baby sister. 724 00:45:00,534 --> 00:45:02,620 You know what? No. 725 00:45:04,371 --> 00:45:08,458 That is why you are a selfish twat. 726 00:45:08,542 --> 00:45:10,085 Is that ugly enough for you? 727 00:45:10,168 --> 00:45:11,754 It's nice use of the word "twat." 728 00:45:11,837 --> 00:45:13,506 You want to know why I don't crack? 729 00:45:13,589 --> 00:45:16,424 It's because ever since I was 14 and Dad died, 730 00:45:16,509 --> 00:45:18,218 I had to step up 731 00:45:18,301 --> 00:45:21,555 and make sure this family didn't fall through the cracks, 732 00:45:21,639 --> 00:45:25,142 that Mom didn't jump over a ledge. 733 00:45:25,225 --> 00:45:27,060 And part of this perfect facade 734 00:45:27,144 --> 00:45:31,106 is a husband that is everybody's best friend but mine, 735 00:45:31,189 --> 00:45:34,568 and a -- and a special-needs kid that I will take care of 736 00:45:34,652 --> 00:45:36,695 for the rest of my life. 737 00:45:36,779 --> 00:45:38,113 Now that Mom is gone, 738 00:45:38,196 --> 00:45:40,908 I am the fucking mother to everyone, 739 00:45:40,991 --> 00:45:42,450 including you and Dallas, 740 00:45:42,535 --> 00:45:45,538 who can't seem to grow the fuck up! 741 00:45:45,621 --> 00:45:48,832 Hey, guys. Are you... 742 00:45:48,916 --> 00:45:52,545 Are you coming in? It's -- It's Thanksgiving. 743 00:45:52,628 --> 00:45:55,714 We're going to be right there, Mitchell. 744 00:46:07,350 --> 00:46:10,312 If you want to know where Mom is, 745 00:46:10,395 --> 00:46:14,232 she's in the coffee can. 746 00:46:14,316 --> 00:46:16,944 - Thanks, honey! - Yes! Thank you! 747 00:46:17,027 --> 00:46:19,071 - I want all the whipped cream. 748 00:46:25,243 --> 00:46:27,079 -Oh, boy. -Give me a lot of it. 749 00:46:27,162 --> 00:46:28,455 -You went a lot? -Yes. 750 00:46:28,539 --> 00:46:29,790 Okay, I'll be right back. 751 00:46:29,873 --> 00:46:31,959 I'll be right back! 752 00:46:36,129 --> 00:46:39,508 Okay. Who wants pie? 753 00:46:39,592 --> 00:46:41,051 -Me. -Me! 754 00:46:41,134 --> 00:46:43,303 I didn't mean to leave the needle in there. 755 00:46:43,386 --> 00:46:45,889 - Yeah, right. - What, you think I did? 756 00:46:45,973 --> 00:46:49,184 I think you're capable of just about anything, Belinda. 757 00:46:50,894 --> 00:46:52,771 Well, if I did, maybe you deserved it. 758 00:46:52,855 --> 00:46:55,691 Right. 759 00:46:55,774 --> 00:46:57,651 Yeah. Consider it karmic payback. 760 00:46:57,735 --> 00:46:59,361 Payback for what? 761 00:46:59,444 --> 00:47:00,988 Well, let's start with all the times that you used 762 00:47:01,154 --> 00:47:03,115 to make me play tackle football when we were kids. 763 00:47:03,198 --> 00:47:06,619 You were nine and I was five, and you were fat. 764 00:47:06,702 --> 00:47:08,495 -I was not fat. -I was kind of a fat kid. 765 00:47:08,579 --> 00:47:10,080 Were you, Mitch? 766 00:47:10,163 --> 00:47:12,207 Yeah. You would tackle me so hard that I would cry, 767 00:47:12,290 --> 00:47:13,834 and then you would tell me to suck it up 768 00:47:13,917 --> 00:47:15,669 and loogie in my face. 769 00:47:15,753 --> 00:47:17,838 People, we're trying to have a meal here. Okay? 770 00:47:17,921 --> 00:47:19,381 Yeah, it's -- it's Turkey Day. 771 00:47:19,464 --> 00:47:21,216 Yeah, this is between my brother and me. 772 00:47:21,299 --> 00:47:22,760 -Don't shut him up. -What? 773 00:47:22,843 --> 00:47:24,344 Don't shut him up. He puts up with you. 774 00:47:24,427 --> 00:47:26,138 Oh, so you like him now? 775 00:47:26,221 --> 00:47:27,640 -What's not to like? -What's not to like? 776 00:47:27,723 --> 00:47:29,391 Oh! 777 00:47:29,474 --> 00:47:32,811 That's hilarious. Have you guys been bonding? 778 00:47:32,895 --> 00:47:34,647 There it is. The Bellie jealousy. 779 00:47:34,730 --> 00:47:36,899 Can't stand to see your brother get a little attention. 780 00:47:36,982 --> 00:47:38,441 Oh, a little attention. 781 00:47:38,526 --> 00:47:40,778 Let's try all of Mom's attention all the time. 782 00:47:40,861 --> 00:47:42,445 And now you want the German's? 783 00:47:42,530 --> 00:47:43,864 When did I become "the German"? 784 00:47:43,947 --> 00:47:45,658 So you have a problem with Mom now? 785 00:47:45,741 --> 00:47:47,409 I had a problem with her, but we worked it out. 786 00:47:47,492 --> 00:47:49,912 Oh, really? I don't seem to remember 787 00:47:49,995 --> 00:47:51,622 her telling me you worked it out. 788 00:47:51,705 --> 00:47:53,165 -I remember her crying a lot... -Dad. 789 00:47:53,248 --> 00:47:56,209 -...because you never came home. -It's okay, Jess. 790 00:47:56,293 --> 00:47:58,336 Maybe I didn't feel at home here. 791 00:47:58,420 --> 00:47:59,880 Yeah. 792 00:47:59,963 --> 00:48:01,590 I didn't, Dallas. 793 00:48:01,674 --> 00:48:03,842 She treated you like a king. 794 00:48:03,926 --> 00:48:05,553 You acted like you owned her, 795 00:48:05,636 --> 00:48:06,970 and then you practically peed on her leg 796 00:48:07,054 --> 00:48:08,514 every time I showed up. 797 00:48:08,597 --> 00:48:09,932 And you came home every two years to make sure 798 00:48:10,015 --> 00:48:11,725 she didn't write you out of the will. 799 00:48:11,809 --> 00:48:14,520 -Go straight to hell, Dallas. -No, you go to hell. 800 00:48:14,603 --> 00:48:16,063 And take that stupid idea 801 00:48:16,146 --> 00:48:18,356 of taking her back to Trinidad with you. 802 00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,317 She's staying here in the coffee can, 803 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,445 in her home with her son, where she belongs. 804 00:48:23,529 --> 00:48:26,073 -You knew she was in the can? -Wait, Auntie Bellie, 805 00:48:26,156 --> 00:48:27,616 you didn't know she was in the can? 806 00:48:27,700 --> 00:48:30,953 -Jess, please. -I told you that was creepy. 807 00:48:31,036 --> 00:48:34,331 -Okay, okay. -Okay, wait. So you all knew? 808 00:48:34,414 --> 00:48:35,916 Belinda, calm down. 809 00:48:35,999 --> 00:48:39,127 No, I won't calm down. You told him a month ago? 810 00:48:39,211 --> 00:48:42,881 -Oh, man, shit is about to go down. -Excuse me? 811 00:48:42,965 --> 00:48:44,257 That is just fucking rich! 812 00:48:44,341 --> 00:48:45,634 Language, Bellie! 813 00:48:45,718 --> 00:48:47,678 -Come on! -Okay, I'm done. All right? 814 00:48:47,761 --> 00:48:50,305 Kids, let's go into the other room, please. 815 00:48:50,388 --> 00:48:52,015 -Wh-What? The kids... -Sweetheart. 816 00:48:52,099 --> 00:48:53,767 ...you think that they don't know the word "fuck"? 817 00:48:53,851 --> 00:48:55,393 -We know the word, Mom. -Come on. Bellie, really? 818 00:48:55,477 --> 00:48:57,354 -Really? Really? Come on. -God. 819 00:48:57,437 --> 00:48:58,856 -Please. -Come on, Stinker. 820 00:48:58,939 --> 00:49:00,357 -Come on, little man. -Follow Dad. 821 00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,484 Let's go over here. Let's go over here. 822 00:49:02,568 --> 00:49:05,195 You know what? I know that you guys don't believe me, 823 00:49:05,278 --> 00:49:07,155 but I know what she wanted. 824 00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:09,324 Okay, Belinda, maybe we should go for a walk. 825 00:49:09,407 --> 00:49:11,660 That's it. I want you out of this house. 826 00:49:11,744 --> 00:49:13,579 Okay, guys, let's just take a group breath. 827 00:49:13,662 --> 00:49:15,330 No, no group breath. 828 00:49:15,413 --> 00:49:17,875 Get out of my house and take the German with you. 829 00:49:17,958 --> 00:49:20,252 All right, we will skip the breath. 830 00:49:20,335 --> 00:49:22,713 -This is my house, too. -No, it isn't. 831 00:49:22,796 --> 00:49:25,340 It stopped being your house when you abandoned all of us. 832 00:49:25,423 --> 00:49:27,551 Stopped being your house after you threw your faith away. 833 00:49:27,635 --> 00:49:30,095 Stopped being your house when Peter and Kourtney and I 834 00:49:30,178 --> 00:49:32,765 took care of her while she was sick and terrified 835 00:49:32,848 --> 00:49:34,808 and crying herself to sleep at night 'cause she couldn't 836 00:49:34,892 --> 00:49:36,727 figure out why her youngest daughter never came home. 837 00:49:36,810 --> 00:49:38,270 Okay, Dallas! 838 00:49:38,353 --> 00:49:39,897 I don't want to! 839 00:49:39,980 --> 00:49:41,148 She's had enough. 840 00:49:42,608 --> 00:49:44,317 Victor. Victor, it's okay. 841 00:49:44,401 --> 00:49:46,904 - Hey, hey, hey. - No! No! 842 00:49:46,987 --> 00:49:48,822 I need a mommy. I need a mommy. 843 00:49:48,906 --> 00:49:50,365 Aunt Kourtney... 844 00:49:50,448 --> 00:49:53,493 Uncle Peter can't get Victor to calm down. 845 00:49:53,577 --> 00:49:55,954 Just give him a video cam, Jess. 846 00:49:56,038 --> 00:49:59,875 What? What is wrong with you? 847 00:49:59,958 --> 00:50:02,335 Are you going to leave while this fucking dickwad 848 00:50:02,419 --> 00:50:04,379 tries to kick me out of the house? 849 00:50:04,462 --> 00:50:07,007 My kids come first. 850 00:50:07,090 --> 00:50:09,968 I'm sorry, Bellie. You need to go. 851 00:50:12,846 --> 00:50:15,516 Oh, my God! Goddamn it! 852 00:50:15,599 --> 00:50:17,685 Wait. Wait. 853 00:50:17,768 --> 00:50:20,312 Belinda! Belinda, wait! 854 00:50:33,325 --> 00:50:35,452 Pass the sweet potatoes. 855 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,293 Belinda, wait! 856 00:50:43,376 --> 00:50:45,337 They're trying to hide her from me. 857 00:50:45,420 --> 00:50:47,881 Bellie, did you listen to him? Did you understand 858 00:50:47,965 --> 00:50:50,300 how it looked to them when you weren't here? 859 00:50:50,383 --> 00:50:53,596 I left because I had to. 860 00:50:53,679 --> 00:50:56,599 When I was little, my brother and I were best friends. 861 00:50:56,682 --> 00:50:58,684 And then one day, suddenly, our whole lives 862 00:50:58,767 --> 00:51:00,894 just became about death. 863 00:51:00,978 --> 00:51:05,190 We would go sit on my father's grave every fucking weekend, 864 00:51:05,273 --> 00:51:07,400 and all that did was terrify me. 865 00:51:07,484 --> 00:51:11,154 I was so petrified all the time that Dallas or my mother -- 866 00:51:11,238 --> 00:51:13,574 that one of them would be next. 867 00:51:13,657 --> 00:51:15,033 What about Kourtney? 868 00:51:15,117 --> 00:51:17,703 I didn't really think about Kourtney. 869 00:51:17,786 --> 00:51:20,163 I mean, it's not like I didn't care, but she's perfect, 870 00:51:20,247 --> 00:51:22,374 so I just assumed she'd live forever. 871 00:51:22,457 --> 00:51:25,002 Belinda. 872 00:51:25,085 --> 00:51:29,131 I understand wanting to run from the pain. 873 00:51:29,214 --> 00:51:30,883 But... 874 00:51:30,966 --> 00:51:32,551 But what? 875 00:51:33,886 --> 00:51:36,639 Maybe you were being selfish when you left. 876 00:51:38,682 --> 00:51:40,893 Belinda, don't. Wait! 877 00:51:40,976 --> 00:51:43,687 Don't run. I have asthma! 878 00:51:43,771 --> 00:51:46,314 Okay, wait. That's a lie. I don't have asthma. 879 00:51:46,398 --> 00:51:48,441 But I was a fat kid. I'm allergic to running. 880 00:51:48,526 --> 00:51:51,153 -Go home, Mitchell. -Bellie, don't do this. 881 00:51:51,236 --> 00:51:53,113 Did you really think that this was going to work out? 882 00:51:53,196 --> 00:51:55,240 I mean, I am a fun free spirit, 883 00:51:55,323 --> 00:51:59,119 and you are a totally bizarre person with obnoxious hair 884 00:51:59,202 --> 00:52:01,413 that doesn't, incidentally, hide your bald spot. 885 00:52:01,496 --> 00:52:02,873 I'm not trying to hide a bald spot. 886 00:52:02,956 --> 00:52:04,792 Well, you're trying to hide something. 887 00:52:04,875 --> 00:52:06,376 Nobody deals with death all the time 'cause they're normal. 888 00:52:06,459 --> 00:52:08,420 Oh, and you're just surrounded by normalcy? 889 00:52:08,504 --> 00:52:10,172 I'm the most normal person in your life. 890 00:52:10,255 --> 00:52:12,633 Oh, yeah. You're just Joe Blow Normal Guy. 891 00:52:12,716 --> 00:52:13,926 -Uh-huh, I am. -Yeah. 892 00:52:14,009 --> 00:52:16,887 You're the fucking garbage man. 893 00:52:16,970 --> 00:52:18,847 Hey, dead people are not garbage. 894 00:52:18,931 --> 00:52:20,432 Then why do you burn them like they are?! 895 00:52:20,516 --> 00:52:22,184 Because people pay me to! 896 00:52:24,311 --> 00:52:26,354 Sorry. That came out wrong. 897 00:52:28,649 --> 00:52:30,275 The check cleared, didn't it, Mitchell? 898 00:52:30,358 --> 00:52:31,944 Goddamn it, you're fucking impossible. 899 00:52:32,027 --> 00:52:34,446 You can go be normal somewhere else. 900 00:53:59,615 --> 00:54:01,366 ...riding elephants. 901 00:54:22,179 --> 00:54:24,097 Yes! Here, put these up. 902 00:55:14,272 --> 00:55:16,609 Hey. It's Bellie. 903 00:55:16,692 --> 00:55:19,319 I, uh... 904 00:55:19,402 --> 00:55:20,946 Normally, I would call Mom right now, 905 00:55:21,029 --> 00:55:23,991 but, oddly enough, she's not available. 906 00:55:24,074 --> 00:55:30,914 Um...I could use a friend, and I'm fresh out. 907 00:55:30,998 --> 00:55:35,544 So call me, maybe, if you can? 908 00:55:35,628 --> 00:55:38,005 Okay. 909 00:55:38,088 --> 00:55:40,048 I mean, I don't know why I'm saying, "Okay." 910 00:55:40,132 --> 00:55:42,259 You're not on the other end. I think I'm losing my mind. 911 00:55:42,342 --> 00:55:44,427 Just call me. Okay? Bye. 912 00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:56,774 Hey, Mike. You seen Bellie? 913 00:55:56,857 --> 00:56:00,027 -Around the corner. -Thanks, man. 914 00:56:05,282 --> 00:56:07,826 Psst! 915 00:56:07,910 --> 00:56:09,828 You scared me. 916 00:56:09,912 --> 00:56:11,496 I'm a scary guy. 917 00:56:11,580 --> 00:56:13,040 Yeah, you're terrifying. 918 00:56:14,249 --> 00:56:15,751 How's that motel? 919 00:56:15,834 --> 00:56:20,213 Uh, it's, uh -- It's okay, you know? 920 00:56:20,297 --> 00:56:22,007 I think my neighbors are cooking meth, 921 00:56:22,090 --> 00:56:24,426 but, on the upside, there's no roaches. 922 00:56:24,510 --> 00:56:27,054 That's a good thing. 923 00:56:27,137 --> 00:56:30,390 I read that blog. 924 00:56:30,473 --> 00:56:32,518 A little tough on the sibs, right? 925 00:56:36,271 --> 00:56:39,817 Okay, Peter, don't come down on me. All right? 926 00:56:39,900 --> 00:56:43,737 It's going to take some time, Bellie. 927 00:56:43,821 --> 00:56:47,074 Hey, I was close to your mother, too. 928 00:56:47,157 --> 00:56:49,660 I know. She called you her touchstone. 929 00:56:49,743 --> 00:56:51,829 -Really? -Yeah. 930 00:56:51,912 --> 00:56:54,247 She said you were close enough to get it, 931 00:56:54,331 --> 00:56:57,876 but removed enough to be fair. 932 00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:00,128 -God, I miss her. -Mm. 933 00:57:01,379 --> 00:57:05,467 I was busy climbing some dumb mountain. 934 00:57:05,551 --> 00:57:10,097 You were exactly where you were supposed to be. 935 00:57:10,180 --> 00:57:12,015 Don't question that. 936 00:57:13,892 --> 00:57:16,394 Did she miss me? 937 00:57:16,478 --> 00:57:18,606 So much. 938 00:57:18,689 --> 00:57:21,191 She told me three things before she passed. 939 00:57:21,274 --> 00:57:23,694 Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil? 940 00:57:23,777 --> 00:57:26,279 I think it's see no evil, hear no evil. 941 00:57:26,363 --> 00:57:28,574 Right? See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. 942 00:57:28,657 --> 00:57:29,908 -That's right. -Anyway... 943 00:57:29,992 --> 00:57:33,621 She said, one, 944 00:57:33,704 --> 00:57:37,541 that Dallas wouldn't be able to handle it after she passed. 945 00:57:37,625 --> 00:57:42,671 Two, she said Kourtney would be a total control freak. 946 00:57:45,716 --> 00:57:47,635 And curtain number three? 947 00:57:53,098 --> 00:57:56,059 She said, "Bellie will always figure it out." 948 00:58:06,654 --> 00:58:09,990 You ever find that jar with your balls in it? 949 00:58:10,073 --> 00:58:12,701 I'm still working on that. 950 00:58:16,163 --> 00:58:17,414 Let me get a beer. 951 00:58:17,497 --> 00:58:19,082 Please do. 952 00:58:22,127 --> 00:58:24,838 -Hey, Mike, can I get a beer? -Yeah. You bet. 953 00:58:49,530 --> 00:58:52,991 Did you just eat a booger? 954 00:58:53,075 --> 00:58:54,785 No. 955 00:58:54,868 --> 00:58:56,662 Yeah, you did. I just watched you. 956 00:58:56,745 --> 00:58:58,413 No, you didn't. 957 00:59:00,498 --> 00:59:01,792 You're 12. 958 00:59:01,875 --> 00:59:03,544 Aren't you a little past the booger phase? 959 00:59:03,627 --> 00:59:05,170 I did not eat a booger. 960 00:59:05,253 --> 00:59:07,840 And even if I did, it just came out of my body. 961 00:59:07,923 --> 00:59:09,508 What's the big deal? 962 00:59:09,592 --> 00:59:11,176 Well, it came out of your body because it's waste 963 00:59:11,259 --> 00:59:14,847 and the body is trying to get rid of it. 964 00:59:14,930 --> 00:59:17,474 Uh, okay. 965 00:59:17,558 --> 00:59:19,685 I get it. That's an "F you, Dad." 966 00:59:19,768 --> 00:59:21,394 So what? You say "F you" to everybody. 967 00:59:21,478 --> 00:59:23,480 -No, I don't. -Yeah, you do. 968 00:59:23,564 --> 00:59:27,860 You did to Auntie Bellie. You got rid of her. 969 00:59:27,943 --> 00:59:29,236 Least I didn't eat her. 970 00:59:29,319 --> 00:59:31,071 How do I know you didn't eat her? 971 00:59:31,154 --> 00:59:34,366 Well, do I look like I just suddenly gained 300 pounds? 972 00:59:34,449 --> 00:59:36,994 Um, yeah. You're kind of fat. 973 00:59:37,077 --> 00:59:40,038 You're such an asshole. 974 00:59:40,122 --> 00:59:44,167 And you probably ate Mom, too. 975 00:59:44,251 --> 00:59:46,879 I'm not hungry. 976 00:59:46,962 --> 00:59:48,839 Why? Did you eat too many boogers? 977 00:59:48,922 --> 00:59:52,926 You're so mean. I hate you. 978 01:00:07,190 --> 01:00:09,067 Shit. 979 01:00:20,370 --> 01:00:21,830 Jess. 980 01:00:23,373 --> 01:00:25,250 Can we talk? 981 01:00:28,503 --> 01:00:30,463 What, are you packing? 982 01:00:33,425 --> 01:00:35,969 Jess, there's no place to go. 983 01:00:40,223 --> 01:00:42,350 Mom left. 984 01:00:42,434 --> 01:00:46,814 I didn't send her away. She just left us. 985 01:00:48,899 --> 01:00:53,445 I'm trying to make it better. Okay, I don't know how. 986 01:00:55,488 --> 01:00:58,408 Maybe you could stop being so grumpy all the time. 987 01:00:58,491 --> 01:01:00,035 Am I grumpy all the time? 988 01:01:05,165 --> 01:01:06,792 Yeah, I guess I am, huh? 989 01:01:24,852 --> 01:01:29,022 I miss Mom. And I miss Nani, too. 990 01:01:34,194 --> 01:01:36,488 Me too. 991 01:01:36,572 --> 01:01:38,866 I also miss Auntie Bellie. 992 01:01:57,885 --> 01:02:00,596 I'll get you a better dinner tomorrow. 993 01:02:00,679 --> 01:02:02,097 Good idea. 994 01:02:08,979 --> 01:02:10,981 Hi. You've reached Bellie. 995 01:02:11,064 --> 01:02:13,984 I'm either in downward dog or sideways with a bottle of red. 996 01:02:14,067 --> 01:02:16,529 Leave me a message. 997 01:02:16,612 --> 01:02:21,366 Hey, Bellie, it's the German. 998 01:02:21,449 --> 01:02:27,039 Uh, listen, I wanted to clarify something that came up 999 01:02:27,122 --> 01:02:30,000 in our last conversation about what I do for a living. 1000 01:02:30,083 --> 01:02:33,336 I don't do it for the money. 1001 01:02:33,420 --> 01:02:37,132 Uh, I mean, cremation is a -- it's a sacred act, 1002 01:02:37,215 --> 01:02:39,718 and I'm just a normal guy who gives a shit 1003 01:02:39,802 --> 01:02:41,595 about people who are grieving. 1004 01:02:47,225 --> 01:02:48,811 I lost my dad when I was 10, 1005 01:02:48,894 --> 01:02:53,106 and my mom killed herself when I was 18. 1006 01:02:53,190 --> 01:02:55,859 So... 1007 01:02:55,943 --> 01:03:00,072 I know what it's like to lose your childhood. 1008 01:03:00,155 --> 01:03:03,033 I've been surrounded by death my whole life. 1009 01:03:03,116 --> 01:03:06,787 It's always felt, I don't know, just normal to me. 1010 01:03:06,870 --> 01:03:09,915 So I-I do this job -- 1011 01:03:09,998 --> 01:03:14,377 Let's face it, nobody alive has ever aspired to -- 1012 01:03:14,461 --> 01:03:19,132 because I'm a shepherd. 1013 01:03:19,216 --> 01:03:22,678 It's -- It's what I'm here to do. 1014 01:03:24,597 --> 01:03:27,140 Anyway. That's it. Hope you're well. 1015 01:04:25,115 --> 01:04:26,449 Oh, my God. 1016 01:04:33,916 --> 01:04:36,627 -Hey. -Hey. 1017 01:04:36,710 --> 01:04:39,838 Your timing is impeccable. 1018 01:04:50,808 --> 01:04:53,351 Holy shit. Is this Trinidad? 1019 01:05:29,096 --> 01:05:31,264 Wow. 1020 01:05:31,348 --> 01:05:33,058 I know. 1021 01:05:33,141 --> 01:05:35,435 Pretty good detective work, sis. 1022 01:05:35,519 --> 01:05:36,854 How'd you find me? 1023 01:05:36,937 --> 01:05:38,897 Well, I read your blog, dummy. 1024 01:05:38,981 --> 01:05:41,358 I didn't know that you read, dummy. 1025 01:05:42,735 --> 01:05:45,320 You want some spaghetti? 1026 01:05:45,403 --> 01:05:48,616 Mm. Looks delicious, but, uh, no, thank you. 1027 01:05:48,699 --> 01:05:50,408 -Yeah. It's two days old. -Yeah. 1028 01:05:52,035 --> 01:05:55,664 Hey, do you have a little time right now? 1029 01:05:55,748 --> 01:05:59,001 -Sure. -Grab your shoes. 1030 01:05:59,084 --> 01:06:00,961 Where are we going? 1031 01:06:01,044 --> 01:06:02,838 You'll find out. 1032 01:06:06,383 --> 01:06:08,010 You're not going to kill me and dump my body 1033 01:06:08,093 --> 01:06:10,012 in the river, are you? 1034 01:06:10,095 --> 01:06:11,930 Haven't decided yet. 1035 01:06:29,281 --> 01:06:31,700 - No problem. - Like it was a weapon. 1036 01:06:37,748 --> 01:06:39,041 Hey, there. 1037 01:06:39,124 --> 01:06:40,751 - Hey! Hi! - Hi! 1038 01:06:40,834 --> 01:06:42,294 How'd you, uh, shoot? 1039 01:06:42,377 --> 01:06:45,088 Oh, this guy right here, he -- he did pretty good. 1040 01:06:45,172 --> 01:06:47,007 All right. Awesome. I like it. 1041 01:06:47,090 --> 01:06:49,051 -What's so funny? -Ah. "Pretty good." 1042 01:06:49,134 --> 01:06:50,803 I was a little off my game. 1043 01:06:50,886 --> 01:06:52,680 Oh, really? That's why you beat us so bad? 1044 01:06:52,763 --> 01:06:54,306 - Yeah. - Okay, well, are you 1045 01:06:54,389 --> 01:06:55,891 -ready to get out of here? -I am, I am, indeed. 1046 01:06:55,974 --> 01:06:57,059 Thank you for a great afternoon. 1047 01:06:57,142 --> 01:06:58,476 Thanks, Peter. 1048 01:06:58,561 --> 01:07:00,270 - Thanks, Peter. - Have fun. 1049 01:07:00,353 --> 01:07:02,064 Kourtney, you can't leave me here. 1050 01:07:02,147 --> 01:07:05,483 -Oh, yes, I can. -Peter? 1051 01:07:05,568 --> 01:07:07,069 You're going to be fine. 1052 01:07:20,666 --> 01:07:23,669 Hey. 1053 01:07:23,752 --> 01:07:27,798 We, uh, hit some balls in holes today? 1054 01:07:27,881 --> 01:07:29,925 Once in a while. 1055 01:07:30,008 --> 01:07:32,761 Sounds good. 1056 01:07:32,845 --> 01:07:34,805 -Hi. -Hi. 1057 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,434 I'm going to get us a round. 1058 01:07:39,518 --> 01:07:41,019 -Great. -I'm good. 1059 01:07:43,271 --> 01:07:45,273 Hey, Mikey, can I get another round? 1060 01:07:45,357 --> 01:07:46,692 Yeah. You bet. 1061 01:07:46,775 --> 01:07:49,778 Okay. Um... 1062 01:07:51,363 --> 01:07:53,156 I'm sorry. 1063 01:07:54,908 --> 01:08:00,831 I'm sorry that I was hyper-reactive. 1064 01:08:00,914 --> 01:08:02,625 Sorry if I was grumpy. 1065 01:08:02,708 --> 01:08:06,086 You're always grumpy. 1066 01:08:06,169 --> 01:08:07,671 I'm just teasing. 1067 01:08:07,755 --> 01:08:10,674 -No, I am. -Yeah, you are. 1068 01:08:10,758 --> 01:08:15,763 And as it turns out, there was this, uh -- You were right. 1069 01:08:24,354 --> 01:08:25,731 Wow. 1070 01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:33,155 Jessica wants you home for Christmas. 1071 01:08:33,238 --> 01:08:34,865 Okay. 1072 01:08:34,948 --> 01:08:37,159 But there will be a security guard posted in the foyer 1073 01:08:37,242 --> 01:08:40,453 just to make sure that you're not packing heat. 1074 01:08:40,538 --> 01:08:42,164 Do we have an actual foyer? 1075 01:08:42,247 --> 01:08:43,582 Not by the definition of it. 1076 01:08:43,666 --> 01:08:45,292 -No. Yeah. -No. Yeah. 1077 01:08:45,375 --> 01:08:47,085 Anyway... 1078 01:08:49,087 --> 01:08:51,715 -Dallas. -Yeah? 1079 01:08:51,799 --> 01:08:55,594 Do you think we'll ever grow out of it? 1080 01:08:55,678 --> 01:08:56,970 No. 1081 01:08:57,054 --> 01:08:59,306 It's what makes us a family. 1082 01:08:59,389 --> 01:09:01,349 I'm going to go. 1083 01:09:01,433 --> 01:09:02,601 What, are you out? 1084 01:09:02,685 --> 01:09:03,936 Yeah. 1085 01:09:05,228 --> 01:09:07,565 Thank you for a great game. 1086 01:09:07,648 --> 01:09:09,650 You played well. 1087 01:09:09,733 --> 01:09:11,902 No, I didn't, but thanks for saying so. 1088 01:09:11,985 --> 01:09:13,236 We'll do it again. 1089 01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:15,906 -Yes. Sometime soon. -All right. 1090 01:09:15,989 --> 01:09:18,366 So... 1091 01:09:18,450 --> 01:09:22,287 -So... -So... 1092 01:09:22,370 --> 01:09:23,622 Ready for Christmas? 1093 01:09:23,706 --> 01:09:25,624 Oh. Insert some small talk here? 1094 01:09:25,708 --> 01:09:29,002 Mm. Sure, yeah. Go ahead. Insert small talk. 1095 01:09:29,086 --> 01:09:32,715 I got your message. 1096 01:09:32,798 --> 01:09:34,883 Oh, you did? 1097 01:09:34,967 --> 01:09:37,928 Yeah. Mitchell, look, I'm... 1098 01:09:38,011 --> 01:09:41,515 I mean, I'm sorry that I pushed you away like that. 1099 01:09:41,599 --> 01:09:43,559 I... 1100 01:09:43,642 --> 01:09:45,686 But I'm back now and -- 1101 01:09:45,769 --> 01:09:48,105 Belinda, you can't... 1102 01:09:48,188 --> 01:09:49,439 You can't just do that. 1103 01:09:49,523 --> 01:09:50,816 Do what? 1104 01:09:50,899 --> 01:09:52,735 Just shit on someone and then smile 1105 01:09:52,818 --> 01:09:54,987 and expect everything to be okay. 1106 01:09:55,070 --> 01:09:56,404 It's what I do. 1107 01:09:56,488 --> 01:09:59,950 I fuck things up, and I never mean to. 1108 01:10:00,033 --> 01:10:01,326 Maybe if you just stayed in one place 1109 01:10:01,409 --> 01:10:03,120 for more than a minute. 1110 01:10:05,664 --> 01:10:07,332 Tell me about your necklace. 1111 01:10:07,415 --> 01:10:10,502 What do you want to know? 1112 01:10:10,586 --> 01:10:13,088 Are your parents in there? 1113 01:10:16,258 --> 01:10:18,844 I'm such an idiot. 1114 01:10:18,927 --> 01:10:20,095 No, you're not. 1115 01:10:20,178 --> 01:10:22,472 -Yeah, a little. -Just a little. 1116 01:10:24,850 --> 01:10:26,602 And, look, my family invited me home for Christmas, 1117 01:10:26,685 --> 01:10:28,270 and if you aren't doing anything -- 1118 01:10:28,353 --> 01:10:30,689 I spent a holiday with your family. 1119 01:10:30,773 --> 01:10:32,065 I don't think I can do that again. 1120 01:10:32,149 --> 01:10:34,192 That's totally fair. 1121 01:10:34,276 --> 01:10:36,779 But, you know, if you change your mind... 1122 01:10:38,947 --> 01:10:42,325 Think I need a minute. Or a month. Or less. 1123 01:10:42,409 --> 01:10:44,452 I don't -- I don't know. 1124 01:10:44,537 --> 01:10:46,539 Okay. Cool. 1125 01:10:49,374 --> 01:10:51,960 It was good to see you. 1126 01:10:52,044 --> 01:10:53,378 It's good to see you. 1127 01:10:57,966 --> 01:10:59,718 Okay. Uh, Merry Christmas. 1128 01:10:59,843 --> 01:11:01,637 Merry Christmas. 1129 01:11:35,588 --> 01:11:37,089 Hey. What's up? 1130 01:11:37,172 --> 01:11:39,466 Has it been a minute yet? 1131 01:11:39,550 --> 01:11:41,885 45 seconds. Why? 1132 01:11:41,969 --> 01:11:44,054 I don't have a car. 1133 01:11:44,137 --> 01:11:45,388 I'll call you a cab. 1134 01:11:46,849 --> 01:11:48,350 Eh, I'm just fucking with you. 1135 01:11:48,433 --> 01:11:50,102 -Okay. -All right. 1136 01:12:15,586 --> 01:12:18,964 It looks like someone could use some nog. 1137 01:12:19,047 --> 01:12:21,091 It's 3:00 a.m. Isn't that a little early? 1138 01:12:21,174 --> 01:12:25,929 Mom used to drink nog all night long on Christmas Eve. 1139 01:12:26,013 --> 01:12:28,056 And now she's in a coffee can. 1140 01:12:28,974 --> 01:12:30,058 Okay. 1141 01:12:32,394 --> 01:12:35,814 Shit, sorry. That was a bad bubble thought. 1142 01:12:35,898 --> 01:12:37,440 It's all good. 1143 01:12:37,525 --> 01:12:38,984 Are the doors closed? 1144 01:12:39,067 --> 01:12:41,153 Yes, and Mitchell and Peter 1145 01:12:41,236 --> 01:12:43,405 are sitting watching the hallway. 1146 01:12:43,488 --> 01:12:45,115 Are they drinking? 1147 01:12:45,198 --> 01:12:47,743 Not yet, but Bellie's bringing them some nog right now. 1148 01:12:47,826 --> 01:12:49,327 As soon as they start in, 1149 01:12:49,411 --> 01:12:50,996 they're going to be yapping like frat boys. 1150 01:12:51,079 --> 01:12:53,373 Kids are going to pop out of bed like little maniacs 1151 01:12:53,456 --> 01:12:54,750 and rip through this place. 1152 01:12:54,833 --> 01:12:57,586 Oh, would you relax? They're big boys. 1153 01:12:57,670 --> 01:12:59,797 They can handle a little nog and a few kids. 1154 01:12:59,880 --> 01:13:01,339 That's questionable. 1155 01:13:01,423 --> 01:13:03,008 Mine's a number. Okay, here we go. 1156 01:13:03,091 --> 01:13:06,136 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. 1157 01:13:06,219 --> 01:13:07,805 Yes, yes, yes. 1158 01:13:07,888 --> 01:13:11,349 Mmm. Needs nutmeg. Taste. 1159 01:13:11,433 --> 01:13:12,935 Yeah, I'm not the alcoholic I used to be. 1160 01:13:13,018 --> 01:13:15,521 I think I can wait till breakfast. 1161 01:13:15,604 --> 01:13:17,355 Merry Christmas, siblings! 1162 01:13:17,439 --> 01:13:19,066 -Look who got up. -Got up? 1163 01:13:19,149 --> 01:13:20,609 I never went to bed. 1164 01:13:20,693 --> 01:13:23,696 If you're going to be down here, you need to help. 1165 01:13:23,779 --> 01:13:25,948 Well, we do have a bunch of presents to wrap. 1166 01:13:26,031 --> 01:13:28,033 I'll wrap. I love wrapping. 1167 01:13:28,116 --> 01:13:30,493 - Okay, great. - All right. 1168 01:13:30,578 --> 01:13:34,540 Mm, you know what, though? First, a toast to Mom. 1169 01:13:34,623 --> 01:13:35,874 Okay. 1170 01:13:39,211 --> 01:13:40,963 Orange, blue, or pink? 1171 01:13:41,046 --> 01:13:42,047 Pink. 1172 01:13:42,130 --> 01:13:44,007 It's a question. 1173 01:13:44,091 --> 01:13:45,884 What is it? 1174 01:13:45,968 --> 01:13:48,804 Do you like the smell of your own farts? 1175 01:13:48,887 --> 01:13:50,222 Yes. 1176 01:13:50,305 --> 01:13:51,599 -There you go. -You gotta be honest. 1177 01:13:51,682 --> 01:13:52,933 I think it's the only way this works. 1178 01:13:53,016 --> 01:13:54,142 It's the whole key to this thing. 1179 01:13:54,226 --> 01:13:55,894 Bellie, will you grab the nutmeg? 1180 01:13:55,978 --> 01:13:57,646 Got it. 1181 01:13:57,730 --> 01:13:59,773 Dallas, I know it's late, but do you think 1182 01:13:59,857 --> 01:14:02,735 you can muster up a little holiday spirit? 1183 01:14:02,818 --> 01:14:05,571 Oh, don't muster, actually. That's unsettling. 1184 01:14:05,654 --> 01:14:09,241 All right, let's do this toast. 1185 01:14:09,324 --> 01:14:12,953 - You guys need some nutmeg. - Yes. 1186 01:14:13,036 --> 01:14:16,498 Here's yours. 1187 01:14:16,582 --> 01:14:17,666 Thank you. 1188 01:14:17,750 --> 01:14:19,877 -All right. -All right. 1189 01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:22,630 To our mother. 1190 01:14:22,713 --> 01:14:26,174 She was a little fireball full of piss and vinegar. 1191 01:14:26,258 --> 01:14:29,094 - And despite -- - Being deeply flawed. 1192 01:14:29,177 --> 01:14:32,180 I was going to say, "Despite being a single mother." 1193 01:14:32,264 --> 01:14:33,641 She was an amazing mom. 1194 01:14:33,724 --> 01:14:35,976 She was an amazing mom. 1195 01:14:36,059 --> 01:14:38,521 -To Mom. -To Mom. 1196 01:14:43,316 --> 01:14:44,860 Mm. Mmm? 1197 01:14:44,943 --> 01:14:47,112 Hmm. It's spicy. 1198 01:14:49,740 --> 01:14:51,449 Yeah, it's kind of smoky. 1199 01:14:51,534 --> 01:14:53,118 What kind of alcohol did you use? 1200 01:14:53,201 --> 01:14:54,494 Rum, dummy. 1201 01:14:54,578 --> 01:14:55,871 You're supposed to use bourbon. 1202 01:14:55,954 --> 01:14:57,540 Mom told me to use rum. 1203 01:14:57,623 --> 01:14:59,917 It's interesting. I like it. 1204 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,127 It's just, did you change the recipe? 1205 01:15:02,210 --> 01:15:04,212 No. It's all Mom's. 1206 01:15:04,296 --> 01:15:05,506 Yeah, but it tastes different. 1207 01:15:05,589 --> 01:15:07,215 Did you use allspice or nutmeg? 1208 01:15:07,299 --> 01:15:10,761 Neither. It's Mom. 1209 01:15:10,844 --> 01:15:12,179 What do you mean? 1210 01:15:13,180 --> 01:15:14,973 I put Mom's ashes in the eggnog. 1211 01:15:15,057 --> 01:15:17,017 Oh! 1212 01:15:17,100 --> 01:15:18,519 I'm going to be sick! 1213 01:15:18,602 --> 01:15:20,020 - What? - Are you fucking kidding me? 1214 01:15:20,103 --> 01:15:23,732 -No! -God, were we out of allspice? 1215 01:15:23,816 --> 01:15:25,818 - No! -What the hell is wrong with you? 1216 01:15:25,901 --> 01:15:27,528 Nothing. 1217 01:15:27,611 --> 01:15:28,821 Oh, come on, you guys. 1218 01:15:28,904 --> 01:15:30,405 We've just been fighting so much. 1219 01:15:30,488 --> 01:15:31,990 I just thought this was a unique way 1220 01:15:32,074 --> 01:15:33,784 -to bring us all together. -Unique? 1221 01:15:33,867 --> 01:15:35,953 Well, we had to do something, Dallas. 1222 01:15:36,036 --> 01:15:38,455 She is just sitting there in that coffee can on the kitchen counter. 1223 01:15:38,539 --> 01:15:40,624 This morning, I almost brewed her. 1224 01:15:40,708 --> 01:15:42,626 It's a decorative coffee can. It's from the '70s. 1225 01:15:42,710 --> 01:15:44,837 I know, but... 1226 01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:48,131 I-I thought it would be healing to have a part of Mom in us. 1227 01:15:48,215 --> 01:15:51,259 Holy shit! Mom is in us! 1228 01:15:51,343 --> 01:15:53,470 Yeah. Pretty soon, she's going to be coming out of us. 1229 01:15:53,554 --> 01:15:54,972 - What... - Is this something 1230 01:15:55,055 --> 01:15:56,807 your psycho guru put you up to? 1231 01:15:56,890 --> 01:15:59,810 Absolutely not. However, certain tribal people do believe -- 1232 01:15:59,893 --> 01:16:02,521 It is our first Christmas without our mother, 1233 01:16:02,605 --> 01:16:03,772 and we drank her. 1234 01:16:03,856 --> 01:16:05,566 Jesus, why are you freaking out? 1235 01:16:05,649 --> 01:16:07,693 What if I get diarrhea? 1236 01:16:07,776 --> 01:16:10,237 What -- What if I am Mom intolerant? 1237 01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:12,364 I've always been Mom intolerant. 1238 01:16:12,447 --> 01:16:14,617 - That's not funny, Belinda. - It's just the truth. 1239 01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:16,409 I mean, I think she thought something malfunctioned 1240 01:16:16,493 --> 01:16:18,537 when she had me because she was so close to menopause. 1241 01:16:18,621 --> 01:16:20,706 Yeah, something did malfunction. 1242 01:16:20,789 --> 01:16:22,290 You are a sociopath. 1243 01:16:22,374 --> 01:16:24,334 She's not a sociopath. 1244 01:16:24,417 --> 01:16:27,630 Oh, yeah, no, she's a perfectly well-adjusted human being 1245 01:16:27,713 --> 01:16:29,798 with cannibalistic tendencies. 1246 01:16:29,882 --> 01:16:33,594 Oh, come on! It is not like I barbecued her 1247 01:16:33,677 --> 01:16:35,929 and you're chowing down on a rack of Mom ribs. 1248 01:16:36,013 --> 01:16:38,724 It's just a -- a little ash and bone and flesh. 1249 01:16:38,807 --> 01:16:41,059 Why did you put my mom in the eggnog, you stupid bitch?! 1250 01:16:41,143 --> 01:16:44,897 Do not, do not, do not white- trash up this Christmas, Dallas. 1251 01:16:44,980 --> 01:16:46,607 - I'm warning you. - Me white-trash it up? 1252 01:16:46,690 --> 01:16:48,441 Me white-trash it up? I'm not the one that decided 1253 01:16:48,526 --> 01:16:49,902 to use our dead mother as a condiment. 1254 01:16:49,985 --> 01:16:53,280 She is a spice, you idiot, not a condiment. 1255 01:16:53,363 --> 01:16:56,909 -It's the same fucking difference! -Oh, Dallas, shut up! 1256 01:16:56,992 --> 01:16:58,326 Sit down! 1257 01:16:58,410 --> 01:16:59,745 Guys. 1258 01:16:59,828 --> 01:17:02,289 Guys, we can hear you up here. Okay? 1259 01:17:02,372 --> 01:17:05,208 Be quiet. You said blue? 1260 01:17:05,292 --> 01:17:08,503 Oh, God. What -- What part of Mom did I drink? 1261 01:17:08,587 --> 01:17:11,089 Maybe it's a-a-a knuckle 1262 01:17:11,173 --> 01:17:13,258 or an elbow or -- or something innocuous. 1263 01:17:13,341 --> 01:17:15,427 - Huh. - What if it wasn't? 1264 01:17:15,511 --> 01:17:17,304 What if it was another part of her? 1265 01:17:17,387 --> 01:17:20,891 Do not go there, Belinda. Please, I'm begging you. 1266 01:17:20,974 --> 01:17:23,226 Know what, guys? Everything's fine. 1267 01:17:23,310 --> 01:17:25,270 I think it's going to be just fine. 1268 01:17:25,353 --> 01:17:27,565 Or we could all die. I mean, we could possibly die. 1269 01:17:27,648 --> 01:17:30,192 -We're not going to die. -Hey, guys. 1270 01:17:30,275 --> 01:17:31,569 Is everything all right? 1271 01:17:31,652 --> 01:17:34,613 Yeah. We are just bonding with my mom. 1272 01:17:34,697 --> 01:17:36,323 -Aww, sweetie, that's nice. -Mm-hmm. 1273 01:17:36,406 --> 01:17:37,825 Oh, that's nice? 1274 01:17:37,908 --> 01:17:39,201 So, how's that eggnog going down, Mitch? 1275 01:17:39,284 --> 01:17:40,911 It's good. It's really good. 1276 01:17:40,994 --> 01:17:42,204 Uh, Peter and I are going to need a little bit more 1277 01:17:42,287 --> 01:17:43,706 to pass time on the watch. 1278 01:17:43,789 --> 01:17:46,249 Oh, okay. Good. Now that you're digesting my mom, 1279 01:17:46,333 --> 01:17:47,876 everything's good, huh? 1280 01:17:47,960 --> 01:17:49,461 What are you talking about? 1281 01:17:49,545 --> 01:17:51,004 I put my mom's ashes in the eggnog, 1282 01:17:51,088 --> 01:17:52,840 and he's freaking out. 1283 01:17:55,884 --> 01:17:57,595 Pardon me? 1284 01:17:57,678 --> 01:17:59,680 Well, I didn't put her in your nog. You're not her kid. 1285 01:17:59,763 --> 01:18:01,431 Oh. 1286 01:18:01,515 --> 01:18:04,434 Well, that's a bit of a relief. 1287 01:18:04,518 --> 01:18:10,148 Oh, my gosh. You are way too sweet for this insanity, aren't you, Mitch? 1288 01:18:10,232 --> 01:18:11,525 Why is this insane? 1289 01:18:11,609 --> 01:18:13,068 I can field that one, if you like. 1290 01:18:13,151 --> 01:18:15,278 Wait. No, no, no. I want my sister to tell me 1291 01:18:15,362 --> 01:18:16,864 why any of this is insane. 1292 01:18:16,947 --> 01:18:19,783 Well, I'm pretty certain that most sane people 1293 01:18:19,867 --> 01:18:23,203 don't drink their mother's ashes on Christmas Eve. 1294 01:18:23,286 --> 01:18:25,372 -Right, Mitch? -It's Mitchell! 1295 01:18:25,455 --> 01:18:27,374 Guys, guys, guys. 1296 01:18:27,457 --> 01:18:28,917 Can you just keep it down a little bit, please? 1297 01:18:29,001 --> 01:18:30,418 We can hear everything up on the landing. Okay? 1298 01:18:30,502 --> 01:18:32,337 And we're going to have an invasion 1299 01:18:32,420 --> 01:18:35,048 of little people down here if you don't give me some eggnog. 1300 01:18:35,132 --> 01:18:36,842 You can have some of my nog, Peter. 1301 01:18:36,925 --> 01:18:38,844 - Thank you. - Oh, do not drink that. 1302 01:18:38,927 --> 01:18:40,679 - Why is that? - Just trust me. 1303 01:18:40,763 --> 01:18:43,015 - You don't want to drink it. - Pretty sure I do. 1304 01:18:43,098 --> 01:18:44,391 He's pretty sure he does, Kourtney. 1305 01:18:44,474 --> 01:18:45,893 Why don't you just let him? 1306 01:18:45,976 --> 01:18:48,020 'Cause she never lets me do shit. 1307 01:18:48,103 --> 01:18:49,605 Excuse me? 1308 01:18:49,688 --> 01:18:51,940 Oh, come on. Don't act all shocked and hurt. 1309 01:18:52,024 --> 01:18:53,316 Peter and I play golf together, 1310 01:18:53,400 --> 01:18:54,442 and some pretty interesting truths 1311 01:18:54,527 --> 01:18:56,278 come out on the back nine. 1312 01:18:56,361 --> 01:18:57,821 Meaning what? 1313 01:18:57,905 --> 01:18:59,447 Meaning, I know what a fucking rag you can be. 1314 01:18:59,532 --> 01:19:01,449 Thank you, Dallas. 1315 01:19:01,534 --> 01:19:04,870 And here's to a very pissed-off wife for the rest of Christmas. 1316 01:19:04,953 --> 01:19:06,121 Cheers. Mmm! 1317 01:19:06,204 --> 01:19:09,457 Peter, you just drank my mother. 1318 01:19:09,542 --> 01:19:10,834 I know that. 1319 01:19:10,918 --> 01:19:12,545 What do you mean, you know? 1320 01:19:12,628 --> 01:19:15,130 Because I could fucking hear everything, all right? 1321 01:19:15,213 --> 01:19:17,174 I mean, you're the loudest family in the world. 1322 01:19:17,257 --> 01:19:20,218 Why would you willingly drink my mother's ashes? 1323 01:19:20,302 --> 01:19:21,929 Because she's delicious. Mmm. 1324 01:19:22,012 --> 01:19:24,264 Hey, guys, the volume's going up, not down. 1325 01:19:24,347 --> 01:19:26,517 Wait a minute, Kourtney. I didn't call you a rag. 1326 01:19:26,600 --> 01:19:28,894 Yeah, not tonight, but it's there. 1327 01:19:28,977 --> 01:19:30,729 It's -- It's what you all think. 1328 01:19:30,813 --> 01:19:32,815 It just takes a little booze to bring it out. 1329 01:19:32,898 --> 01:19:35,568 And that booze has been contaminated with your mother's ashes. 1330 01:19:35,651 --> 01:19:39,738 And perhaps we all drank the part with her loud fucking mouth. 1331 01:19:39,822 --> 01:19:41,615 Don't talk about my mother that way. 1332 01:19:41,699 --> 01:19:42,950 Oh, Kourtney, please. 1333 01:19:43,033 --> 01:19:44,492 She did have a big fucking mouth. 1334 01:19:44,577 --> 01:19:46,579 Stop trying to paint a rainbow over everything. 1335 01:19:46,662 --> 01:19:49,081 Okay, why is everyone attacking me? 1336 01:19:49,164 --> 01:19:51,625 Oh, here it comes. Okay. Poor you. Right? 1337 01:19:51,709 --> 01:19:53,168 Why don't you stand up on your own feet 1338 01:19:53,251 --> 01:19:55,003 when people start pointing out your bullshit? 1339 01:19:55,087 --> 01:19:57,965 What, because I can't insult people like they can? 1340 01:19:58,048 --> 01:19:59,174 Yes! Why not?! 1341 01:19:59,257 --> 01:20:00,634 Why would I want to? 1342 01:20:00,718 --> 01:20:04,555 Oh, my God! Why wouldn't you want to?! 1343 01:20:04,638 --> 01:20:06,682 I'm sorry. 1344 01:20:06,765 --> 01:20:09,142 I -- I'm so sorry. 1345 01:20:09,226 --> 01:20:11,186 That just -- It just slipped out. 1346 01:20:11,269 --> 01:20:14,022 Just get a little mom in the nog there? 1347 01:20:15,482 --> 01:20:16,984 -Oh, shit. -Oh, gosh. The kids! 1348 01:20:17,067 --> 01:20:21,363 Uh, report to the post, Mitchell. 1349 01:20:21,446 --> 01:20:23,699 Mitchell, grab the Taser. 1350 01:20:25,868 --> 01:20:27,369 Aah! Oh! Damn it! 1351 01:20:27,452 --> 01:20:30,330 If I had a Taser, I would have used it tonight. 1352 01:20:32,290 --> 01:20:34,167 What are you trying to say, Dallas? 1353 01:20:34,251 --> 01:20:36,419 That you would Tase me for putting Mom in the nog? 1354 01:20:36,503 --> 01:20:39,047 Would you stop being so pathologically 1355 01:20:39,131 --> 01:20:40,465 at peace with all this? 1356 01:20:40,549 --> 01:20:42,175 Don't you have any respect for her? 1357 01:20:42,259 --> 01:20:44,970 Of course I do. Why do you think I wanted to drink her? 1358 01:20:45,971 --> 01:20:47,180 I... 1359 01:20:48,390 --> 01:20:49,850 I can't believe we're related. 1360 01:20:49,933 --> 01:20:51,309 I can't believe you came out of my mother. 1361 01:20:51,393 --> 01:20:53,812 Knock it off. Knock it off, you guys. 1362 01:20:53,896 --> 01:20:56,607 This is Christmas. It's fucking Christmas! 1363 01:21:03,822 --> 01:21:05,073 Oh. 1364 01:21:18,211 --> 01:21:21,799 I j-- I just wanted Christmas to be perfect. 1365 01:21:24,593 --> 01:21:26,512 Life is messy, Kourtney. 1366 01:21:28,556 --> 01:21:32,726 Yeah, but Mom always made Christmas incredible. 1367 01:21:32,810 --> 01:21:37,731 We -- We always had amazing Christmases. 1368 01:22:04,675 --> 01:22:10,806 You know, I think Mom's going down just fine. 1369 01:22:10,889 --> 01:22:13,308 I feel okay. 1370 01:22:13,391 --> 01:22:15,185 Dallas? 1371 01:22:23,569 --> 01:22:25,237 I miss her. 1372 01:22:28,448 --> 01:22:30,659 I miss Mom. 1373 01:23:00,063 --> 01:23:01,940 Let's have some more eggnog. 1374 01:23:05,193 --> 01:23:07,070 Okay. 1375 01:23:07,154 --> 01:23:08,531 Why not? 1376 01:23:41,855 --> 01:23:43,440 God, that tastes like shit. 1377 01:24:40,914 --> 01:24:44,292 Babe! I got the bag. I got your mom. 1378 01:24:44,376 --> 01:24:47,462 I locked the back door. We are ready to go. 1379 01:24:47,546 --> 01:24:49,840 Hey, Peter, check it out. 1380 01:24:49,923 --> 01:24:53,385 Oh, my God. Where did you get that? 1381 01:24:53,468 --> 01:24:55,012 I have no idea how we pulled this off. 1382 01:24:55,095 --> 01:24:56,639 -But thanks for your help. -What do you? 1383 01:24:56,722 --> 01:24:57,931 I did nothing. You know, I just kept a secret. 1384 01:24:58,015 --> 01:24:59,933 -The car is here. -Honey. Honey. 1385 01:25:00,017 --> 01:25:02,185 -Check it out. -What? Oh, my God! 1386 01:25:02,269 --> 01:25:04,229 -Where did you find this? -Ah! It's an urn! Right? 1387 01:25:04,312 --> 01:25:06,439 -Mitch found it. -Oh. 1388 01:25:06,524 --> 01:25:08,651 Thank you. Oh, I love it. 1389 01:25:08,734 --> 01:25:11,319 Don't cry. Okay? You're going to ruin your reputation. 1390 01:25:11,403 --> 01:25:13,238 Okay, we're good to go, guys. 1391 01:25:13,321 --> 01:25:14,698 But I think I need a shot or something. 1392 01:25:14,782 --> 01:25:17,075 -I hate flying. -Got you covered. 1393 01:25:17,159 --> 01:25:19,662 Ooh, you really are the shepherd, aren't you? 1394 01:25:19,745 --> 01:25:21,664 And a steel-drum urn. 1395 01:25:21,747 --> 01:25:23,290 -Oh, my God. -It's an urn! 1396 01:25:23,373 --> 01:25:24,958 -Is that awesome or what? -Love it. 1397 01:25:25,042 --> 01:25:26,960 -Where did that come from? -This guy right here. 1398 01:25:27,044 --> 01:25:28,837 -Aww. -Ohh. 1399 01:25:28,921 --> 01:25:31,840 Well, I say we let the Reaper do the honors. 1400 01:25:31,924 --> 01:25:36,094 No. You're not getting off that easy. 1401 01:25:36,178 --> 01:25:37,680 All right, how do we...? 1402 01:25:37,763 --> 01:25:41,016 All right, so, the parts you guys didn't drink, 1403 01:25:41,099 --> 01:25:44,019 they go right under here. 1404 01:25:44,102 --> 01:25:46,313 Oh. Okay. 1405 01:25:47,773 --> 01:25:50,358 Hold her. 1406 01:25:50,442 --> 01:25:53,403 Ready, Mom? Here we go. 1407 01:25:56,949 --> 01:25:58,534 There it is. 1408 01:26:01,036 --> 01:26:02,830 Oh! 1409 01:26:02,913 --> 01:26:04,957 -We got a honker, kids. -Oh, my gosh. 1410 01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:06,249 Let's go. Let's go. 1411 01:26:06,333 --> 01:26:08,085 -This is awesome! -Crap. 1412 01:26:08,168 --> 01:26:10,546 I-I forgot mine in my room. I'll meet you guys outside. 1413 01:26:10,629 --> 01:26:11,797 Here I go. 1414 01:26:19,555 --> 01:26:22,474 Whaddya, got a body in this thing? 1415 01:26:22,558 --> 01:26:25,102 Okay, but your flip-flops. 1416 01:26:25,185 --> 01:26:29,439 I'll be right back, Mitch. I forgot the... 1417 01:26:30,899 --> 01:26:34,528 -We almost forgot her. -Oh, isn't that just the Pereira way? 1418 01:26:34,612 --> 01:26:36,029 Dallas, wait. 1419 01:26:40,534 --> 01:26:42,911 Take it. 1420 01:26:42,995 --> 01:26:44,246 Why? 1421 01:26:47,374 --> 01:26:50,293 Because that's what she would have wanted. 1422 01:26:53,380 --> 01:26:56,299 Hey. What's this? 1423 01:26:56,383 --> 01:26:59,386 I decided to stay in one place for a little while. 1424 01:26:59,469 --> 01:27:01,179 Get your ass out of here. 1425 01:27:01,263 --> 01:27:02,973 Let's go. 1426 01:27:03,056 --> 01:27:04,975 All right, don't fucking leave us. We're coming. 95789