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1
00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:02,219
Let's go.
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:03,655
Doc.
3
00:00:03,786 --> 00:00:04,742
She has no recollection
4
00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:05,744
of the last eight years.
5
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:06,571
Bring it on.
6
00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:07,659
I came here to help you.
7
00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:08,878
"Kitchen Nightmares ”
8
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:09,661
Are you in.
9
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,315
And “Going Dutch ”
10
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:12,273
Pew pew pew.
11
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,665
First guns I've
seen on the base.
12
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:14,579
Let's go,
let's go.
13
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,190
All available now.
14
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:23,674
Shred...
15
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,547
It's been like 20 minutes,
dude, come on.
16
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:27,375
Hello?
17
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:31,074
All right, everybody,
time's up.
18
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:33,075
Everybody?
19
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:33,990
Come on.
20
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:35,339
Come on.
21
00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:45,306
It's good for their feathers.
22
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,524
Hmm.
23
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:48,874
Well, that explains my foot
fungus that won't go away.
24
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:24,126
A hundred days since he
escaped from the Seattle Zoo,
25
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,650
Oreo, the penguin
is still missing.
26
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:28,957
Will he ever make it back
to his enclosure to reunite
27
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,482
with his wife, Patty,
and unborn child?
28
00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:34,136
I suppose that's up to Seattle
Animal Control,
29
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,138
who've still been unable
to find him.
30
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,835
TJ, back to you.
31
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,315
That's not news.
32
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,534
Uh, handsome public servant
33
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:43,973
who could pass for early 30s
searches for lost animal.
34
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,147
That's a story.
35
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:46,801
I can't stand this.
36
00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:48,150
We're a laughing stock.
37
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,413
That penguin is a folk hero.
38
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,198
People are saying he should
run for city council.
39
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:52,633
Well, people are idiots
40
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:55,201
because we get at
least three hoax calls a week.
41
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,377
And since what we do here is
often ridiculous,
42
00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:59,292
hoaxes are impossible
to detect.
43
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,381
Yeah, I actually think the
hoaxes are kind of cute.
44
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,558
I mean, massive waste of
public funds,
45
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:04,646
but still cute.
46
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,386
If you all are
talking about Oreo,
47
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,518
he is officially
no longer our problem.
48
00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,781
We are turning over the case
to Fish and Game.
49
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:11,826
The feds?
50
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:12,957
No, absolutely not.
51
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:14,089
No, absolutely yes.
52
00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:15,046
I just spoke with
Commandant Boyle.
53
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:17,048
He's really tired of
all the bad coverage.
54
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:18,789
Plus, honestly, I think
you're starting to take this
55
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:19,703
a little too personally.
56
00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:21,096
That's true.
57
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:22,228
You've got to stop watching
all that penguin porn.
58
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:23,229
They're documentaries.
59
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,318
If you know how they mate,
60
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:25,884
you know how they live,
what they want.
61
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,842
Fish, right?
Basically just fish.
62
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:28,886
Just give me 24 hours.
63
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,018
I'll get the whole precinct
on it.
64
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:31,846
Can't. We're going to Canada.
65
00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:33,804
Oh, we're not just
going to Canada.
66
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:36,460
We are flying private
to Canada.
67
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:37,678
What?
68
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,115
They get to fly international
on a PJ.
69
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,420
They are taking home
a Pomeranian
70
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,117
who ran away
from the Seattle dog show.
71
00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:43,379
Yeah, hey. So I've been
thinking about that.
72
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,903
We should drive
carbon footprint and all.
73
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:47,906
If Brigadoon's rich owner
wants to pay for a private jet.
74
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,080
I say we let her.
75
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,908
Or she could pay for gas
for a car.
76
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,214
I just have...
77
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,260
I have, like, a slight fear of
small planes.
78
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,479
Give me an Airbus
79
00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:58,046
or an A380 or a 777,
and I'm good.
80
00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:00,353
You are going to be fine.
81
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,224
I've got this Michelin Star
sushi restaurant
82
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,487
picked out in Vancouver.
83
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:05,401
I skipped breakfast
in preparation.
84
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,577
I will need the receipts
for all your expenses.
85
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:10,363
Just the professional ones,
not the Patel-related ones.
86
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,627
Yeah, this is going to be
the best mini vacation
87
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:13,715
of all time.
88
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,498
Okay, while you're all
jaw-jacking,
89
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:18,066
an injustice is
being perpetrated.
90
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:20,286
Our precinct, that
I'm the public face of,
91
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,897
is having its lunch eaten
by a waddling madman.
92
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,465
Frank, it's not
about how we look,
93
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,466
It's about finding the best
way to bring Oreo home safely
94
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,119
to his partner and their egg.
95
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,033
Bring him home? Sure.
96
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:30,557
Safely?
97
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,299
Well, we'll see how rough
this penguin wants to tango.
98
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,865
Okay. If no one has any
further rantings,
99
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,216
I think this meeting is over.
100
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:47,313
Why are heavy things being
hidden from me?
101
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:48,880
Shred, get over here,
I'm gonna throw you.
102
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:49,838
All right.
103
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,840
Fish and Game.
104
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,104
Must be nice to only focus on
two kinds of animals.
105
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,539
Emily sold us out.
106
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,108
Emily didn't sell us out.
Her boss made the call.
107
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,152
Bureaucracy sold us out,
Frank.
108
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,111
You know they have a truck
that turns into a boat.
109
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,678
They're gonna find Oreo
like that.
110
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,506
I don't know how a truck boat
makes it that much easier,
111
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:07,681
but okay.
112
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:08,943
Truck 12.
113
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,424
Report of a penguin sighting
1223 Briarcrest.
114
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:12,338
Oh.
115
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,122
Hey, Truck 12 responding.
116
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,559
We are no longer
taking penguin calls.
117
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:16,864
Please route to Fish and Game.
118
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,997
Frank! Frank! Frank!
119
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,433
That is city property!
120
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,564
We're taking the call.
121
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,740
Dude, no.
Emily said that we can't.
122
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,568
Oh, Emily said this.
Emily said that.
123
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,224
Being short and a kiss ass,
not a good look.
124
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,660
Okay, I'm sorry we're not
all Nordic giants like you.
125
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,401
And your mind-games won't
work on me, man.
126
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,578
Oh, my mind games won't work?
Think about breathing.
127
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,061
We're going.
128
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,238
Champagne?
129
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:43,674
Keep them coming.
130
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,111
How does this plane work?
131
00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:49,505
Like, how does it
stay up in the air?
132
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,420
Also, can I get an
oxygen mask, please?
133
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,031
One of the ones that you
were talking about
134
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,336
when you did the...
Great. Thanks.
135
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,816
Can you relax?
136
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:58,645
Even this anxious little furball
is having a good ride.
137
00:04:58,646 --> 00:04:59,386
That's because Brigadoon
doesn't know that
138
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:00,386
we're about to die.
139
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:05,608
Babe, we're finally living.
This is where it all happens.
140
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,395
Where the game gets rigged,
the table gets set.
141
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,700
The rich... get richer.
142
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,486
Right, yeah.
It's just you, me, and a dog.
143
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,357
May I offer you a selection of
Vancouver's finest Gouda?
144
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,358
Mm.
145
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:18,665
I am a cheese man,
146
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:21,146
but [snap] I've got a lunch
date with a Michelin Star.
147
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,844
Yes, please.
148
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:27,587
Gouda and prosciutto,
say hello to benzodiazepine.
149
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,066
This flight's only an hour.
150
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:29,980
You take all those now,
151
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,112
you're going to be useless
when we land.
152
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,200
If we land.
153
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:33,854
You're stressing him out.
154
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,986
No pills,
but I will have champagne.
155
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,684
I'm gonna have the rest
of that champagne.
156
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:38,990
You can bring the bottle,
that's fine.
157
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,558
Come on, it's a black and white
bird of the nunnery.
158
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:43,820
It's another hoax, Frank.
159
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:46,170
You know, there once
was a pretty cool dude
160
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,434
everyone else thought
was a hoax, too.
161
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,568
Criss Angel Mindfreak.
162
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,005
Can I help you, gentlemen?
163
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,529
Hi, Sister.
We're here about the penguin.
164
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:59,315
The penguin?
Is that some sort of joke?
165
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,534
No, Sister. We're with
Seattle Animal Control.
166
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,057
And this is how you
present yourself.
167
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:04,233
Shirttails untucked.
168
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,669
Sorry. We just...
We got a...
169
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,758
Goodness, stand up straight.
170
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,195
And I see the devil has had
his way with your hair.
171
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,415
Boy, I hope you two don't
break into song.
172
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,548
Just a little light Catholic
school flashbacks.
173
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,028
It's definitely
not traumatizing.
174
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:17,812
Hey.
175
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,336
You guys here about
the penguin?
176
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,118
He's over by the fountain.
177
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,032
Are you serious?
178
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,338
Yeah.
179
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:24,600
Oh. I should have trusted
my cop instincts.
180
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,821
Always head straight
to the groundskeeper.
181
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,779
Oreo! I'm coming.
182
00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:31,695
Oh, we got him.
183
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:34,480
Finally got that
son of a bitch.
184
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:35,830
Ow.
185
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:37,962
I didn't even say it,
he said it.
186
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,449
Ahhhhh!!!!!
187
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,277
Cara, you slag,
get back here!!!
188
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:50,670
Why is it going like this?!
189
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,585
We're just experiencing
some slight turbulence.
190
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:53,935
It's nothing to worry about,
all right?
191
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:56,633
Ahhhh!!!!!
192
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,025
Cara's in on it.
193
00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,506
It's fine.
Everything's great actually.
194
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,290
There's no screaming kids.
195
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:03,727
You know what you gotta do
is try that hand lotion
196
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:04,945
in the bathroom.
197
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,337
These sausages have never
been softer.
198
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:07,687
Yeah, everything's so great
199
00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,166
why'd you put the little dog
in the safety box?
200
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:09,993
You mean the dog crate?
201
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,257
What? What are you doing?
Get back in there!
202
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,607
Who's driving the plane?
203
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,522
You're just gonna skip past
the baby part?
204
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,175
Mom and dad got booked
on the same flight.
205
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,440
Childcare fell through.
You know the deal.
206
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,354
- Turbulence is about to pick up.
- Okay.
207
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:25,053
Just need two hands
on the yoke there.
208
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,184
Okay.
209
00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:27,794
Turbulen--
210
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,709
Somebody's always fussy
at 40,000 feet.
211
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,188
What's that in meters, Cara?!
212
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:32,233
Relax, it's like 10.
213
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:33,408
- Liar. Give me.
- Yeah.
214
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,192
I'm gonna need that.
215
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:35,541
Okay.
216
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:37,631
Shouldn't have
brought the baby.
217
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:44,202
One hundred days, six hours,
44 minutes...
218
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:46,204
Forty-five now, approximately.
219
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:47,640
That's how long we've
been chasing this
220
00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:49,163
oily, flightless bird.
221
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:50,251
I'm impressed the little dude
222
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,644
made it this long
in the big city.
223
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:54,474
My first month here,
I was a wreck.
224
00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:59,696
We've been made.
Get him!
225
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:01,481
Sorry,
I'm sorry.
226
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:11,228
He may draw
all men unto him,
227
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:13,144
and give them eternal life.
228
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:14,841
Behold the lamb.
229
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:16,407
You take the side,
I'll go up the middle.
230
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,497
Wash away the sins
of the world.
231
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,759
Don't blame us.
232
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,762
It's the fault of one
of God's creatures.
233
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,153
Sorry.
234
00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,591
Peace be with you.
235
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:28,245
Where'd he go?
236
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,159
He must have slipped
under the pew.
237
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,074
I'm on it!
238
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,817
Hurry!
He's heading for the altar.
239
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:35,515
Oh!
240
00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:42,608
What are you waiting for?
241
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,435
Last time I desecrated
an altar,
242
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,699
they made me write the Lord's
Prayer a thousand times.
243
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,136
Just do it, you sissy!
244
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,487
♪ Hallelujah
245
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,706
- Damn.
- ♪ Hallelujah
246
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,186
That was much better than sex.
247
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,929
Well, you can imagine.
248
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,195
Hey, Cara, do we have
a binky for him?
249
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:06,720
Cara!
250
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,721
Hey, folks, this
is your pilot speaking.
251
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,810
We're encountering some rough
weather over the Cascades.
252
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,507
Yeah, we've been circling
for over an hour.
253
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:14,161
Unfortunately, we will have
to touch down in Boise.
254
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,075
What?
255
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,642
Idaho.
We're going to Idaho.
256
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,687
That's the opposite direction!
257
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,646
Ground transport
will be provided
258
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,255
to your final destination.
259
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:24,084
Sorry, Is that a black car
or a limo?
260
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,739
Fancy party bus?
261
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,264
We lost a penguin.
We found a penguin.
262
00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:31,657
It's an epic tale
for the ages.
263
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,181
Feels good man.
264
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,443
I mean, I'm realizing I have
quite a bit of school trauma
265
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,967
I need to unpack one day,
266
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:39,316
but still, it's nice
to get a win, you know?
267
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:43,669
Uh-huh.
268
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:44,800
Emily, what's black and white
269
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,149
and caged in the back
of the truck?
270
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,108
Are you drunk?
271
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:48,325
'Cause you sound
a little drunk.
272
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,805
We got Oreo.
273
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:53,680
Really? Uh, that's...
that's great.
274
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,419
Let's save the
'that's great' platitudes
275
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:56,769
for photos of your friends' kids
276
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,902
What I did today
was astonishing.
277
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,338
I'm glad that he's safe.
278
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,905
But you also totally
defied my orders.
279
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,690
Yeah, well, orders are meant
to be defied, Chief.
280
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:08,563
I'm an iconoclast, a renegade,
and I just put on sunglasses.
281
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:09,696
Yeah, he does look
really cool.
282
00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,653
But to be clear, I was
against the whole
283
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,786
renegade, iconoclast... thing.
284
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,309
All right. Well, tell me
you guys at least
285
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,832
got some footage that we
could send to the news.
286
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,617
Well, I got a selfie
with the bird and I,
287
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,009
but it reads a little
Guantanamo.
288
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,881
Okay, well, we're probably
not going to use that.
289
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,883
The body cam footage
is no good either.
290
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,189
Catch pole was blocking Franks,
291
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,930
and then mine fogged up
from all my hot wheezing
292
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,498
because it was a very
exciting afternoon.
293
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,282
Look, if you need
a pull quote
294
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:33,589
for the press release,
295
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:34,894
I've been noodling some,
with Jack London quotes
296
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:35,590
and without.
297
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:36,461
Great.
298
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:39,942
Hello?
299
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,552
I'm surprised she wasn't
more psyched.
300
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:42,466
Well, I think she'd
be more psyched
301
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:43,730
if we had caught it on film.
302
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,688
What's that face?
I don't trust that face.
303
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:47,951
You can't wait for inspiration.
304
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:49,517
You have to go after it
with a club.
305
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:50,605
Jack London.
306
00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:51,825
We should not club
that penguin.
307
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:59,614
Whoa!
This is nice.
308
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:00,703
It's disgusting.
309
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:03,880
No offense to anyone who paid
to be on this bus.
310
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:05,403
Excuse me.
311
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,404
Where are we going again?
312
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,537
How many pills have you taken?
313
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,539
A baker's dozen.
314
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,324
You're officially a liability.
315
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:15,326
All right.
316
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,415
Three and a half hours
till you're home.
317
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,418
And I'm eating the best sushi
I've ever had.
318
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,118
We can do this.
319
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:32,866
Perfect.
320
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:34,693
Thanks for calling.
321
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:35,868
Normally, we don't stage
news footage,
322
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,565
but stories about
animals, assaults
323
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:38,958
and attempted murder
are good for ratings.
324
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,350
Now, obviously,
Oreo is the star,
325
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:42,048
but I think this story
326
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,659
should really be played out
on my face.
327
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,356
I'm not sure about this,
Frank.
328
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,532
Who cares if we caught Oreo
on camera or not.
329
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:49,796
To recreate it is meaningless.
330
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,405
And don't even get me started
331
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:52,841
on the journalistic ethics
of this.
332
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,888
This is our only chance
to take back the narrative.
333
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,019
Do you still want people
calling you
334
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:58,455
a potato face waterslide
stooge?
335
00:11:58,456 --> 00:11:59,326
It's my first time
hearing that.
336
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:01,545
But, yeah, I mean,
I'd like it to stop.
337
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:02,809
Okay, then you're in.
338
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,989
All right, roll it.
339
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,817
Emily would not be cool
with this.
340
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:12,992
You need to stop
being so naive.
341
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:16,386
The economy runs on
fake animal footage.
342
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:16,996
Frank...
343
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,084
Oreo's gone.
344
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,042
Oh, that was a really
great read.
345
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,261
Frank, he's gone.
346
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:28,356
Oreo!
347
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:33,360
Frank, go, go, go.
348
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,448
Excuse me.
349
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:35,145
Sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry.
350
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:36,232
Do you see a penguin?
351
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,668
Excuse me. Excuse me,
excuse me.
352
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:38,758
Excuse me. Excuse me.
353
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,066
Of all the animals
that end my career.
354
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,547
I didn't think it was gonna be
a penguin.
355
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:48,942
You accepting applications?
356
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,904
Seattle celebrity Penguin Oreo
was spotted today,
357
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,645
but he won't be going back
to the zoo.
358
00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:59,082
God, is that how I run?
359
00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:01,736
This is not the first time
Animal Control
360
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:04,827
has failed to capture Oreo,
making this reporter wonder,
361
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,004
should this case be handed over
to Fish and Game.
362
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,311
I mentioned the Fish and Game
thing off the record.
363
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,616
I'm speechless.
364
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:13,966
I just want to say
365
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,663
that everyone was on board
for the reenactment.
366
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:16,795
Except Oreo.
367
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,534
And me.
368
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:18,754
I was never on board.
369
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,929
The principals were on board,
meaning me.
370
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,409
Well, whatever.
It doesn't matter now.
371
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,194
Commandant Boyle wants to see me
'cause I'm in trouble.
372
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,979
And all I do is work my tush
off for this precinct.
373
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,458
I'm sorry to swear,
but it's true.
374
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,851
I mean, I have managed
a zoo break.
375
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,461
I have raised money
for a new kennel,
376
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,507
which maybe is now in
jeopardy after all of this.
377
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,683
I even sneak into this office
on the weekends
378
00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,991
to clean what the janitorial
staff has missed.
379
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,556
Yeah, well, nobody can get
the grout
380
00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:40,819
with a toothbrush like you.
381
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,168
Don't suck up to me.
382
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:44,300
'Cause the only time my boss
wants to see me is
383
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,389
because you two knuckleheads
have done something stupid.
384
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,262
And do you know what happens
when I get yelled at?
385
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:49,523
You cry.
386
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,481
No, that's so
insulting and sexist. No.
387
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,743
Maybe just let her talk.
388
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:55,573
I panic sweat, okay?
Like a sprinkler.
389
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,139
They used to call me
two shirts at school.
390
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,532
Oh, my God, it's
starting already.
391
00:13:58,533 --> 00:13:59,968
Emily, I'm really sorry.
392
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:01,535
We never meant for any of this
to blow back on you.
393
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:03,146
You are both hosing out cages
for the rest of the week.
394
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:04,713
Just get out of here.
395
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,061
Oh, God.
Did I get you?
396
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,149
Yep. You got me.
397
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,368
That's all right.
That's a little friendly fire.
398
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:09,717
We deserve that.
399
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,545
- Yeah, sorry.
- Wow.
400
00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,287
Just leave. Why
am I apologizing?
401
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,030
You get that cab receipt
for Emily?
402
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,598
I just threw up in Brigadoon.
Mom's powder room.
403
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:21,860
You're lucky
I'm still standing.
404
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,253
You know what?
405
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,082
All that matters right now
is we are finally here.
406
00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:31,870
No.
407
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:32,872
No, no!
408
00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:36,613
Hello?
Patel. Party of two.
409
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,702
Patel! Party of two!
410
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:41,618
Looks like they close
at 3:00 p.m. on Wednesdays.
411
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,620
No, that wasn't
on the website.
412
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:45,927
It doesn't say that
on the website!
413
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:50,150
Brigadoon!!!
414
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,155
Fish and Game guys
415
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,331
had to bring their boat truck
just to get the Oreo files.
416
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,988
Oh, real class act.
Dicks!
417
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:03,292
Yeah, you know,
418
00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:04,032
if we had one of those
amphibious vehicles,
419
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:05,860
we'd get them
like that...
420
00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:07,645
We did catch them
like that.
421
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,211
And then you let them go.
422
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,953
And now, we have to hose down
Great Dane doo doo.
423
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:12,999
Okay, you know
I hate that word.
424
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:13,955
Just say leavings.
425
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,130
I don't want to say leavings.
426
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,175
I want to cute it up.
427
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,003
And, if you don't mind
my saying
428
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,048
you've acted like
a real piece of doo doo.
429
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:22,572
Whoa! You know,
Sister Carol Ann's not here,
430
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:23,791
so you can talk like
a grown-up.
431
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:25,228
Great, I will.
432
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,099
You completely hung Emily
out to dry
433
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,666
and pardon my French,
434
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:31,103
but she works her tush off
for this precinct.
435
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,018
I mean, she managed
the zoo break,
436
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,584
she raised money
for a new kennel,
437
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,630
she even sneaks into
the office on the weekends.
438
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:37,761
Okay, you're just repeating
what Emily said.
439
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,589
She's a great supervisor, man.
440
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,984
But right now, all her boss
thinks is that she's the dummy
441
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,681
who hired the two
bigger dummies
442
00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:47,032
who lost Oreo... twice.
443
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:50,035
So, if you could please
just shut up for once
444
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:50,950
and hose.
445
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,876
You know, you're
a lot more fun
446
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:07,053
when you put me
on a pedestal.
447
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:12,493
Next.
448
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:15,844
Today has been a nightmare.
449
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:18,019
Really?
I feel so well-rested.
450
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,325
I can't believe
I'm saying this
451
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,153
because Danny's got
two ear infections,
452
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,417
but I'm just excited
to go home.
453
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:24,070
Next.
454
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:24,983
Oh, here we go.
455
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:25,940
Passports.
456
00:16:25,941 --> 00:16:28,422
Yes, I have one.
It's American.
457
00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:29,640
I'm a citizen.
458
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,902
Land of the free.
459
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:32,991
Well, not always,
but most of--
460
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:33,556
Okay, thank you.
461
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:34,601
You're good.
462
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:35,429
Oh, wait.
Where's my fanny pack?
463
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:36,211
Hey.
464
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:37,039
Where's my...
465
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,347
$300 cab.
I left it in the $300 cab.
466
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,131
My lumbar was chafing
and I took it....
467
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:45,178
I told you not to wear
that fanny pack.
468
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,179
For different reason,
but still.
469
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,181
Sir, I'm an officer
of the law.
470
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:50,400
Well, kind of.
471
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,315
Does Animal Control get
diplomatic privileges?
472
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:54,751
- No passport, no crossing.
- No, sorry.
473
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:56,014
- Next.
- No, hey. Sorry. Hey.
474
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,104
You don't understand, okay.
475
00:16:58,191 --> 00:17:00,757
I've had the worst...
the worst day.
476
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,672
I had to hold a baby
on a private jet.
477
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:03,499
Next.
478
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,761
And I didn't get my sushi.
479
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:07,242
And then a bus child
put gum on my hair.
480
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,374
Next.
481
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,898
Excuse me.
All I want is to go home.
482
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:14,206
That's what I'm going to do.
I am going home.
483
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:15,991
And there's not a thing you
484
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:18,820
or any of these fine men or
women can say to stop me.
485
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,214
Patel, wait.
486
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:29,047
I am dry,
and cool and competent.
487
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,485
I am dry and cool
and competent.
488
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,574
Oh, no, I'm not.
489
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,926
Emily, wait.
There's been a miracle.
490
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:38,927
What?
491
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,710
I found Oreo.
492
00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:41,102
No...
493
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,235
I was just...
494
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,323
I was trolling the marshlands
outside the nunnery,
495
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,541
and there he was.
496
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:48,762
Oh my God.
Oh, my God, you saved my life.
497
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,981
It might be time to change
the shirt, too.
498
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,374
Oh, this is shirt two.
499
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,028
Then it's great.
500
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:55,769
Who wants to lick
the inside
501
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:56,901
of a round little treat?
502
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,816
What? Do you need
a mental health day?
503
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:01,079
Because I found Oreo.
504
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,734
Oh my gosh,
there's two of them.
505
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:06,258
Twins. What a twist.
506
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,173
Oh, okay.
507
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,914
Okay, so neither of
these are Oreo, are they?
508
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,351
- No.
- They are not, no.
509
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,135
And do I want to know where
you two found penguins?
510
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:15,180
- Steve's.
- Yeah, that was Steve's.
511
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,705
Steve's. Okay.
Who's Steve?!
512
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:19,837
He's got a bird sanctuary,
but he's totally above board.
513
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:22,665
Yeah, he's between licenses,
but a great dude.
514
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,842
So... So, just so I'm clear,
you both disobeyed me.
515
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:26,408
And then as a fix,
you double disobeyed me
516
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:27,845
with something that,
by the way,
517
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,150
is never going to work.
518
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,196
To be fair, it did kind
of work on you,
519
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,067
so it'll definitely work
on your boss.
520
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:34,286
And you shouldn't get
in trouble
521
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,331
for something that we did.
522
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:37,464
I did.
523
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:39,943
I just...
524
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,990
I've never been so mad looking
at such cute animals.
525
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,557
Emily.
526
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,211
Take a bird.
527
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,907
Embrace the darkness.
528
00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:48,214
Be born again.
529
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:53,914
Okay, fine.
I'm taking Shreds, though,
530
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,003
because it seems lighter.
531
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:57,352
Oh.
532
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:04,446
How much did you pay Steve
for the penguin?
533
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,796
Only if we say it
at the same time.
534
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,014
Three.
535
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:07,884
Two.
536
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:08,624
One.
537
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:09,800
- Free.
- Three hun--
538
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:12,020
Free.
I was gonna say free.
539
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,024
Hey.
540
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,156
Look what the cab driver
dropped off.
541
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,288
What?
How did you find him?
542
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,856
Okay, so I have no memory of
this, but, um,
543
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:23,901
I guess I got his number.
544
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:25,815
Did you get the receipt?
545
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,208
Shoot.
No, I should have
546
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:28,427
because it was another
300 bucks.
547
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,559
No, you know what?
548
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:30,778
This time, we should focus
on the wins.
549
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:32,127
Let's go.
550
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,302
Oh, also, I got you this.
551
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:36,349
It's not sushi grade,
but it's packed full of oil.
552
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:37,349
And I know how much
you love oil.
553
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:38,654
Thank you.
554
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,221
Do you think I have time
to eat this right now?
555
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,180
Definitely, yeah.
You should sit down.
556
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,051
Okay.
557
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:46,446
So... we missed the last bus
for the night,
558
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,623
and I will see you
at 5:00 a.m.
559
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:56,543
Oh, yeah.
560
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,069
Wild caught.
561
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,203
Nope. That's farmed.
562
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:11,296
I am so glad the zoo agreed
to host fake Oreo.
563
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,298
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's a win-win.
564
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,952
They get a break from
the bad press
565
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,605
and we have time to find
the real Oreo.
566
00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:17,738
Mhm.
567
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,478
Wait, did you finish
hosing the crates?
568
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:20,654
Absolutely.
569
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,484
On a scale of 1 to 10,
how mad are you at me?
570
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:26,877
Uh...
571
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:28,096
three.
572
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:29,880
Nice. Three.
573
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,404
It was a four.
574
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:33,405
But then you loaned me your
shirt for my boss meeting.
575
00:20:33,406 --> 00:20:34,928
Oh, yeah.
Of course I'm happy to
576
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,190
and you can just...
you can keep that.
577
00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,236
Yeah, I probably should.
578
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:42,109
I don't know if Patty's
feeling the new guy.
579
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,806
Yeah. It's natural.
580
00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:45,505
It's what happens when
you're not with your person.
581
00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:51,337
Hey, look at that.
582
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:53,207
Awe.
583
00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:56,603
Ohh, we need to find
a zookeeper ASAP.
584
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:58,081
- Yeah.
- Okay.
585
00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:58,909
Yes.
586
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:12,706
Hey.
587
00:21:12,923 --> 00:21:14,011
Hey.
588
00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:14,881
Nice work on that, penguin.
589
00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:16,622
Who? Oreo?
590
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:18,363
Oh, well, we thought you
guys were going to botch it,
591
00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:19,929
so we took care of it ourselves.
592
00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:20,801
Respect.
593
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,324
Do you want to have lunch?
594
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,369
Really?
595
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,501
Yeah, on that island
over there.
596
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:29,853
Oh, that's right...
you can't.
597
00:21:33,030 --> 00:21:34,553
You know, we totally can.
598
00:21:34,554 --> 00:21:36,946
We just have to swim there,
but we had a big breakfast.
599
00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:38,034
We're not hungry.
600
00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:39,297
You think they're hiring?
601
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,559
Why?
602
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,561
I don't know, I just
like their uniforms.
603
00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:44,607
You know,
they got earth tones
604
00:21:44,694 --> 00:21:45,652
I'm a summer.
605
00:21:49,482 --> 00:21:50,744
So cool.
606
00:21:50,831 --> 00:21:52,049
Really cool.
607
00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:55,096
I hate those guys.
42393
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